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* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

8993 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Oracle tries to get $1.3bn verdict against SAP reinstated

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Trollface

"It's hypothetical revenue information, which is not the same," she pointed out.

It's 2014. Get with the times, lady. Hypothetical stock revenue, hypothetical tax revenue, hypothetical potential GDP, hypothetical pension payouts and wars which practically pay for themselves... THIS IS SUPERLAND! WE ARE LIVING IT!

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Oracle horns in on Red Hat's OpenStack party with own distro

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MethodNotFoundException in java.lang.String.replace(): No such method ".whoIsInControl_ItsLarry()"

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IETF plans to NSA-proof all future internet protocols

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Re: They'll never beat the spooks

or a warrant

Yeah, but not those written out by the Black Cabal of bureaucrats accountable to no-one except to the Black President who is accountable only to himself.

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The weird and wonderful mind of H.R Giger is no more

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Holmes

Re: unique

Didcha know that the Swiss border police impounded and destroyed some of his paintings he had in the trunk of his car because they, IIRC, "photography related to child pornography"?

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Re: So sad.

Doubleplussupergood for Beksinski.

He's even more disturbing than Giger. Because he's actually doing 3-D imagery, I think.

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Supposedly secure Dogecoin service Dogevault goes offline

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There is a tick on this Doge

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Apparently it's hard to run a secure currency.

I thought I could do that with my cash too!

Oh my gode!

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Re: Dogecoin?

No, I think it's pronounced like the Venetian Doge.

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Do you use NAS drives? For work? One just LEAKED secret cash-machine blueprints

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Holmes

Re: Is the NAS box really the key in this story?

However, what on earth is the build like of that undisclosed company, that lets its users of its laptops back up the data to private devices in the first place? Where are the controls around their sensitive data? Why is that laptop able to share with non-regulated networks like at home, at Starbucks etc....

Very young, I see.

You need to realize that not every company can be managed like a bank (cough CDs with depositor data transferred to Frau Merkel for extortion purposes cough) or the NSA (cough our sysop left with the goods cough) as some actually need to pull in money to finance the ultra-fortress behaviour from customers in the first place.

I can remember that even in a certain govern-mentally checked project with fat security requirement binders so terminally dull that your head would melt when you just looked at them, interesting data could be found in inappropriate places ... nothing untoward happened though. GnuPG was indeed applied to the highest security files (I never saw what was in there, probably the IP adresses of the SNMP endpoints)

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FAIL

Re: Not exactly best practice

Without encrypting it?

FAIL for not comprehending the problem in the first place.

Oh, you keep you files individually encrypted on your disk? Sure you do.

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Trollface

Also cloudy applications with badly set permissions....

This "easy share" feature is supposed to make passing information to other users more convenient, although it appears to be a little too convenient: miscreants aware of the "share everything" design flaw are scanning the public internet for vulnerable models, and grabbing sensitive stuff, it's claimed.

HA HA HA! SHOW THEM ONLINE!!

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WWI historical project will catalog eight million life stories

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Flame

Al least it doesn't say it was for "Muh Freedums!"

who served in the British and Commonwealth forces

"who were sliced and diced for the benefit of a few and the egos of democratic blowhards in a purely continental brawl" doesn't sound so well, innit?

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BEAK DRONE: 1080p HD Wi-Fi quad-copter by Parrot takes to skies

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Paris Hilton

You can buy those, you know...

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$180,000 buys you lunch with Tim Cook as charity auction ending

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Re: Snorefest

It will be the bestest siesta of your life though.

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Headmaster

Do not expect to get economic insights!

$8,000 buys lunch with the former chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke at a restaurant of his choice

Probably money that he lovingly printed himself a bit earlier!

And lest we forget:

Ben Bernanke Gets His Reward

“Bernanke Enjoys the ‘Fruits of the Free Market,’” or so we’re told in a Reuters headline from March 4 about the former Fed chairman’s 40-minute speech in Abu Dhabi for which he received, ahem, $250,000. In the Reuters author’s defense, he was only quoting a DC lobbyist who was defending the amount, and added, Bernanke “will personally experience supply and demand.”

Well, yes, it’s just supply and demand and all that. No big deal and if you don’t like it, you must have something against markets. Still, it would be nice (and a bigger deal) if these reporters would quote someone outside of the accepted intellectual class of the Boswash corridor so compromised by being among the primary beneficiaries of all the new money Chairman Ben and his comrades created, ex nihilo, when he wasn’t shooting baskets in the Marriner Eccles building. If they did, they might hear some healthy skepticism about these events in which top officials cash in on their “public service” via contacts with the very industries they benefited while in office.

George Stigler explained such paybacks in his capture theory of regulation for which he received (rightly) the Nobel Prize in Economics, although I’d say they are better explained by the phrase, “quid pro and here-you-go!”

Less-beholden observers might pause during Bernanke’s victory lap and note that the dollar has lost almost 30 percent of its value since he joined the Fed in 2002, and that’s only if you accept the lowball metrics used in official CPI statistics. It is likely twice that amount if price inflation is measured in more traditional ways, including forgotten factors such as the full inflation for out-of-pocket expenses or the cost to maintain a constant cost of living. Americans of 1977 may have had to suffer through bad hair and disco music, but at least they didn’t suffer discrepancies between (a) what they experienced the value of the dollars in their pockets to be and (b) what the government said it was. We do.

COUGH!

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We're from the SAME DUST CLOUD, BRO: Boffins find Sun's long-lost sibling

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Re: Let me be the first to say

Log in now to Galactic Hangouts!

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LA air traffic meltdown: System simply 'RAN OUT OF MEMORY'

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Holmes

Stanislaw Lem - Ananke (from "More Tales of Pirx the Pilot")

Such was the brain, so overburdened with spurious tasks as to be rendered incapable of dealing with real ones, that stood at the helm of a hundred-thousand-tonner. Each of Cornelius’s computers was afflicted with the “anankastic syndrome”: a compulsion to repeat, to complicate simple tasks; a formality of gestures, a pattern of ritualized behavior. They simulated not the anxiety, of course, but its systemic reactions. Paradoxically, the fact that they were new, advanced models, equipped with a greater memory, facilitated their undoing: they could continue to function, even with their circuits overloaded.

Still, something in the Agathodaemon’s zenith must have precipitated the end—the approach of a strong head wind, perhaps, calling for instantaneous reactions, with the computer mired in its own avalanche, lacking any overriding function. It had ceased to be a real-time computer; it could no longer model real events; it could only founder in a sea of illusions… When it found itself confronted by a huge mass, a planetary shield, its program refused to let it abort the procedure, which, at the same time, it could no longer continue. So it interpreted the planet as a meteorite on a collision course, this being the last gate, the only possibility acceptable to the program. Since it couldn’t communicate that to the cockpit—it wasn’t a reasoning human being, after all—it went on computing, calculating to the bitter end: a collision meant a 100 percent chance of annihilation, an escape maneuver, a 90-95 percent chance, so it chose the latter: emergency thrust!

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Oracle vs Google redux: Appeals court says APIs CAN TOO be copyrighted

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Re: What is depressing again...

Not true. Because it *isn't* Java, it just looks like one.

would have just extended Debian

Bletch no. Also you have to get everyone writing in Go.

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Re: RIP java?

MySQL is in no way killed

I guess it must be resting.

Anyway ... PostgreSQL!

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Re: Probably the death knell of the "industry"

If you bothered to look at the APIs in question you'd have noticed they were plainly copied.

In this thread: Eejits who don't know about APIs and didn't bother to read the article.

If anything, this is probably one of the few high-profile sane decisions rendered recently

In this thread: Eejits who have no idea what they are talking about.

Two different people or teams developing the same functionality independently would never end up with the same class hierarchy, the same method signatures, the same variables. Never.

In this thread: Eejits who have no idea about coding.

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Re: Unintentional humor

I agree.

I cannot be better in the first place because there isn't even a specification. Like trying to metricate Chtulhu, the closer you look, the madder you get.

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Probably the death knell of the "industry"

Well, frankly I have had it.

The whole bunch of leeches and sucking cancers can't end soon enough. Everyone in his own proprietary little silo, throwing shit against the padded walls.

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Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?

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Re: here you go

To quote Greg Egan:

Gisela had never heard of Athena, but ninety minutes per person sounded ominous. Everything meaningful about an individual citizen could be packed into less than an exabyte [160,000 LTO-6 compressed (6.25 TB) tapes], and sent as a gamma-ray burst a few milliseconds long. If you wanted to simulate an entire flesher body — cell by cell, redundant viscera and all — that was a harmless enough eccentricity, but lugging the microscopic details of your “very own” small intestine ninety-seven light years was just being precious.

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Paris Hilton

Hasn't anyone ever come up with FLOPPY RAID where a bad sector on disk 23 could have been compensated with the checksums from disk 06 and 28?

It would probably have made it to a Chaos Manor entry in Byte Magazine.

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Paris Hilton

Re: 16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy

That one's from BOFH #1

Seriously? There are people who don't know? Next you want me add attributions when I quote from the Ancient Testament.

Whippersnappers.

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Trollface

Re: 16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy

4 MEG IN TOTAL!

Another user rings.

"I need more space" he says

"Well, why don't you move to Texas?" I ask

"No, on my account, stupid."

Stupid? Uh-Oh..

"I'm terribly sorry" I say, in a polite manner equal to that of Jimmy Stewart in a Family Matinee "I didn't quite catch that. What was it that you said"

I smell the fear coming down the line at me, but it's too late, he's a goner and he knows it.

"Um, I said what I wanted was more space on my account, *please*"

"Sure, hang on"

I hear him gasp his relief even though he covered the mouthpiece.

"There, you've got plenty of space now"

"How much have I got"

Now this REALLY *PISSES* *ME* *OFF*! Not only do they want me to give them extra space, they want to check it, to correct me if I don't give them enough. They should be happy with what I give them *and that's it*

Back into Jimmy Stewart mode.

"Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"

"Wow! Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says pleased with his bargaining power

"No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red, room temperature "4 Meg in total"

"Huh? I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"

I say nothing. It'll come to him.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhH!"

I kill me; I really do

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SMASH AND GRAB iThieves run car through front of Berkeley's Apple Store

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Paris Hilton

Re: Hasn't El Reg heard of ramraiding before?

If they detect large, vehicle shaped things coming toward the building they deploy and lock in place

Isn't that racist against US customer who happen to fall into the upper quartile of US-adapted body mass?

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$3.2bn Apple deal would make hip-hop mogul Dr Dre a BEEELLLIONAIRE

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Re: In 2011, HTC invested $309m for a 50 per cent stake in the company

Unless there is a dead hand persistently pushing the "print" button at the federal reserve.

Which is the case.

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London cabbies to offer EVEN WORSE service in protest against Uber

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Trollface

Re: AC Cancer. Cancer everyhwere!

As a cabbie might put it, Uber can go shove their cut-price offering where the sun don't shine, sunshine.

Must be the most self-defeating addie for QUALITY cab services ever.

But thanks for the astroturf.

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Cancer. Cancer everyhwere!

Union bosses claimed the use of Uber is tantamount to installing a taximeter – which is illegal in minicabs.

And why is it illegal, there must be a good reason for ... oh!

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China 'in discussions' about high-speed rail lines to London, Germany – and the US

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Big Brother

Harry Harrison Reference, Hurrah!

it is probably worth considering as a economy stimulating activity

Unfortunately 40 years of relentless bullshit and economic destruction (with the best yet to come) should have taught us that Keynesianism of all kinds is a pipe dream.

No such luck.

China is currently at the top of the S-curve of its building boom. It has empty cities standing around, rotting. All that energy, time, materials and lifes locked up in infrastructure never to be used and never to generate any ROI whatsoever. Lost.

It needs a new monster project fast to justify printing more money unless the whole Ponzi scheme collapses like a Universe living through its big crunch.

However, the light at the end of the transatlantic tunnel turned out to be the Horseman of Futzy Accounting.

Ron Paul Doom.jpg

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Brit chap weaves silver bullet for wireless health scare bollocks

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Re: WTF

It was /b/ before moot.

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Coat

...

You must be living in Sweden.

Radio Assange FTW!

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Re: WTF

And an old story on alt.tasteless

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Big Brother

Re: Fake Snake oil

Let's see your government control-rays get through that!

They can get latex-covered fingers up various orifices whenever you look at them wrong, why would they need control rays?

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Mushroom

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

What's with the overexposure of "Wifi kills better than $THREAT and more insidiously" meme lately? In the last couple of days two persons talked my ear off bleedingly about the nefarious effects of digital microwave energy in the ether. Said nefarious effects being all well known to the sciency circles which are, however, unable to speak because their righteous voices are being ruthlessly ballgagged by "industry power".

On the other hand, I have been spared such nonsense the whole last year.

Creeping Califonization or Something in the Daily Mail?

TETRA merely uses the old carriers for digital instead of analogue signals

I tried to explain something about digital signalling in the time domain being exactly the same as analog signalling in the time domain if they are mapping to x GHz in the frequency domain, but to no avail. This digital shit is DANGEROUS with all these sharp corners, man!

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Amazon granted patent for taking photos against a white background – seriously

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Joke

Patent for killing many people in one go in the patent office.

This involved closing door (1) in an airtight manner (2) then releasing (3) gas pellets (3b) from safe enclosure (4), finally putting fire (5) to the building after a suitable period of mourning (6). Although "Zyklon B" is mentioned hereunder, this is just done for illustration purposes and nothing in this patent shall be construed to mean that other chemicals may not be used.

Prior art you say?

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Architect of Apple's total-silence public relations policy leaves

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Re: It's not as if they (or anyone else for that matter) care what you think Jasp

"Crawling in my skin. These wounds they will not heal."

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That NAKED SELFIE you sent on Snapchat? You may be seeing it again

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Holmes

"for the next 20 years"

Essentially a lifetime guarantee, then?

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Orange France hacked AGAIN, 1.3 million victims seeing red

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Trollface

ITT: A fistful of trolling

Or ACs from Redmond's basement. How is the Azure Cloud coming, guys.

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Comcast dragged into muck in Oracle's Solaris fix-it lawsuit

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Woah

Pissing off customers, telling them that they better buy support in perpetuam or else they get the gloved hand treatment or need to go somewhere else.

Looks like Oracle is now eating the seeds.

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Britain'll look like rural Albania without fracking – House of Lords report

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Holmes

Re: If it's really 2015 we're stuffed no matter what happens...

You will also remember the Ron-Paul Doom Level Economic Crash which is increasingly looming over the near future horizon like real-life version of The Thing On the Doorstep.

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Japanese cops arrest man with five 3D printed guns at home

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Facepalm

"I can't complain about the arrest if the police regard them as real guns."

That's not the kind of spirit that will keep that country going.

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Goodbye, Mr Dong: Samsung Galaxy S5 boss disappears through trapdoor

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Devil

Cat stroker dialogue

"We at S.A.M.S.U.N.G. are not happy with your performance, Mr Dong. Your Galaxy S5 was not exactly ... a success!"

[A Worldmap with highlighted FAIL points appears out of nowhere]

"Do you expect me to add more rounded corners?"

"Choose your next witticism well, Mr. Dong. It may well be your last...."

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King's stocks are candy-crushed as its top toy suffers splurge slump

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Devil

"The decline of Candy Crush Saga will be more than offset by our new IP"

It's hard to admit that one is only being used as a conduit to hoover up loose cash coming from suckers and badly managed pension schemes, all driven by the relentlessly burning heat of our socialistic money printing policies.

TOOL!

Janet Yellen’s Bathtub Economics: Excuse Me Doctor—There’s Bubbles In That Tub!

As is well-known, one of Tobin’s first students to be conferred a PhD after he repaired from his Washington follies to Yale was Janet Yellen. That was 1971. If Keynesian economics in a national bathtub that was not at all a closed system was nonsense even then, it surely is nothing less than a laughingstock in the blooming, buzzing, churning global economy of today—-a place where the source of the marginal supply of labor and capital cannot even be pronounced in Washington, let alone be measured, calibrated and factored into a policy equation.

Yet here is Janet Yellen at a Congressional hearing yesterday faithfully lip-synching professor Tobin. She has not even learned any new jargon in 43 years!

“In light of the considerable degree of slack that remains in labor markets and the continuation of inflation below the (Fed’s) 2 percent objective, a high degree of monetary accommodation remains warranted,” Ms. Yellen said.

This was all by way of justifying the lunatic proposition on which the Fed is now operating: Namely, that for the 68th consecutive month it kept the money market rate at zero—a condition that has never previously occurred in all of human history. Well, outside of post-bubble Japan anyway, and its evident how well that’s working.

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Speaking in Tech: 'I get told to wear makeup by other women'

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It depends on the workplace.

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Re: Preaching to the choir

"Haram started kidnapping the daughters of West Coast executives and selling them into slavery, attitudes might change."

I don't know how more retardedincoherentyou can get. "Responsibility to protect" progressive bombing runs and all that jazz come to mind. What do you want to express with this kind of stupdidityunclear proclamation?

"If random violence were perpetrated by random obscurantists right here, attitudes might change."

"If victims were blonde white girls instead of brown-skinned ones, attitudes might change."

"If these things were happening right here in whitey land, attitudes might change."

I dunno, please enlighten me.

You can also specify HOW things would change. Consider that I do not consider the maintenance of a "kill list" by black presidents as "change".

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Look out, sysadmins - HOT FOREIGN SPIES are targeting you

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Holmes

Nice ladies on your boxes?

I wonder if that french software house from last week "outrage of the week" section was up to something?

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Re: They're already here

Wide open, eh?

Say no more, say no more!!

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