* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

10467 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

CERN IT boss: What we do is not really that special

Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: It should ALWAYS be called the God Particle...

We shall further infuriate the Good Congregation and term this the "Jehova Particle".

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: The so called God particle.

"serious commentators or the Register".

Oh my God Particle!!

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

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Re: MEN!

Better than when irate islamists are allowed to design school furniture, I'm sure.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: Vocabulary.

It turns out that Winston Smith was working in the spelling department.

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Headmaster

Re: Vocabulary.

"Hemingway"

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Windows

Re: Pink crapfest

I hoped this would seqgue into a hot sisterly lesbian sexxor, but no.

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

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Trollface

At least in the UK, that might well fall foul of Section 3 and/or Section 3A of the Computer Misuse Act (1990)

But if done from Russia you would just get some pornographic moaning about "Russian invasions" from the PM and sophomoric snarkiness on Twitter from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, all of which can just be relegated to the background noise of Modern Living.

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A life of cybercrime, a caipirinha and a tan: Fraudsters love a Brazilian

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Trollface

Re: Unreal

Schools are schools. No moral connotations are assumed. There is, for example, the "School of the Americas" etc.

But for USD 500? MUH HAXX!!

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You think the CLOUD's insecure? It's BETTER than UK.GOV's DATA CENTRES

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Re: well, that's a relief

1) For some reason the DC must be near Cannes (cheap hydroelectric energy?) and have a special luxury hotel for tired sysadmins

2) Promise to invite the people in charge to organize extended tours at repeat intervals no longer than six months for monitoring purposes

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

And we should not have hosting contracts more than two years, as the cost [of hosting] is halving every 18 months.

This can be effortlessly spun into "Wise government industrial policy helps create the industry that gives us powerful means of becoming the future technology hub of $WORLD, helps us manage contracts to get maximum value for taxpayer money and also keeps inflation in check so much that there is a danger of deflation which, however is being looked after by the independent Central Bank."

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Azure TITSUP caused by INFINITE LOOP

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Trollface

Re: People really run windows as a *server*?

The "server version" is actually the only acceptable version.

If they could just reduce the needless emphasis on the graphical muhser interface.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: backronym error?

Performance. It's "Performance".

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Astro-boffins start opening universe simulation data

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Trollface

Because of the fast size of the full snapshots

Looks like there is some kind of special relativity of IT at work, rotating bytes/s into TiB values?

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CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

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Re: What do they do?

They are "just" particular mixes of particular quarks, in the same family as protons as neutrons.

We want to enumerate all of these, so it is good to have confirmation that these particular states of three.quark bindings exist (as expected) and to be able to measure their masses and decay modes to complete empirical lists and look for surprises.

See also: List of Baryons

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Apple Fanboi? Stand by to get Beats Music LIKE IT OR NOT

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Paris Hilton

The important question is....

What will Taylor Swift say?

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Microsoft's Azure goes TITSUP PLANET-WIDE AGAIN in cloud FAIL

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Re: Cloud down

More like "Bog"

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: something wrong at a fundamental level with Azure.

The Devil?

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Destroy All Monsters
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In-house stuff fails too, and then you don't get the skills to get it back up again, or worse. You know "database corrupted, where is the backup ZOMG it says 'Monday' on that tape, wait the amount of dust on this shelf says that..... NOOOOOO!"

Clouds mean everyone gets burnt at the same time and the Internet must work and you also better have a local backup just in case.

But in all cases, it's just choose your poison.

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HORROR! Imagine if anyone could find out EVERYTHING you EVER tweeted

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Paris Hilton

Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer?

Does it have European presence though?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: This could be embarrassing

No-one cares what they are saying.

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ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

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Re: Prison Contraband

Prison Delivery as a Service?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: Nefarious private use of drones

Nominal Romanians checking out dog presence and access possibilities from the control van, more like.

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NSA mass spying reform KILLED by US Senators

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Headmaster

Re: Anonymous coward

So much political grandstanding. Especially from those "Democrats" that used be in charge not so long ago and are now crocodile tearing. Don't believe any of those arseholes.

"WATERED DOWN TO THE POINT OF IRRELEVANCE" or "IT'S ALL BULLSHIT AND SOMA" is the correct description.

Why I Don’t Support USA Freedom Act.

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Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins

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Paris Hilton

This is the castle of my master, Ballmère de Redmonde!

Did Ballmer fart in the general direction of the security team and fetchez la vache onto them and is Nadella resurrecting it?

On the other hand, I heard the dudes in security would be folded into marketing or something? Has this order of High Pointyhairedness been belayed?

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USB coding anarchy: Consider all sticks licked

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Holmes

Re: Research……

Please go on....

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MYSTERY Russian satellite: ORBITAL WEAPON? Sat GOBBLER? What?

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Re: @ Vociferous It scares me that people here seem to think the US and Russia are equivalent.

And you'd be wrong

You, sir, are a clueless bag of vapid hot air and you should start to educate yourself.

as the fact that you can call the president a moron without any fear of any repercussion shows

"Being able to be a clown in public shows that we are free" and other illuminating commentary from the shit-for-brains-producing ideological stuffing.

Be along now.

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Big Brother

Re: It scares me that people here seem to think the US and Russia are equivalent.

One is a functioning democracy with rule of law and free speech, the other is a fascist dictatorship without rule of law or free speech.

I will pass and demand my right to call a relative by phone to help me answer this question.

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Trollface

Re: Again?

It's like Bad Santa has finally arrived outside of Hollywood movies.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

clandestine Russian spacecraft

What you say? Clandestine? Not cleared with the American Empire? Unacceptable! HARDER SANCTIONS NOW, BOOTS ON THE GROUND, ALL OPTIONS ON THE TABLE (except sexual ones, probably).

Seriously, does a nation need to contat an international clearinghouse dealing in space stuff? I suppose it's a good idea to phone ahead to other nations of a launch lest someone push the red button in undue haste, but apart from that?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: Persecution

Wasn't Gaydar the guy how Really Has No Luck At All on Battlestar Galactica?

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That dreaded syncing feeling: Will Microsoft EVER fix OneDrive?

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Re: Their are issues with Google drive aswell..

Feel free to submit articles highlighting problems with other products, oh quasi-anonymous Microsoft supporter.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: I stopped reading at...

Gartner?

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Cries of spies as audit group finds possible 'backdoor' in Bittorrent Sync

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Pint

Re: Bak To Skool

'Twas typen in the pub downstairs, so cogratulate instead!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Phew Phew Phew!

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Now Uber can take EVERYONE for a ride

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Holmes

Outperforming Elizabeth Warren in the hot air business?

El Reg - determining the "correct levels of wages" for musicians and taxi drives since the early 21st century.

A pipe-smoking, leather elbow patch tweed jacket wearing job with tradition!

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Meet OneRNG: a fully-open entropy generator for a paranoid age

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"Remember: UBIKRAND's entropy is smooth and easy. Avoid prolonged use."

That's Philip K. Dick levels of paranoia. You can't check for that.

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Simon's says quantum computing will work

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Re: WTF am I reading?

Yes

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Headmaster

WTF am I reading?

To put that another way: if we know that a quantum computer can be made to outperform a classical machine, we've got a bit more confidence that the research money isn't being wasted.

We DO know the former. If it turns out that for some as-yet-unknown reasons, the QC actually does NOT manage to follow the mathematical description of QM, that would be monster spectacular and open the road for re-evaluation. Shurely not a waste of money one way or the other.

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

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lee of a rock formation

More like a large heap of snowy slush and assorted crud.

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DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

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But if there is no branch in the BPMN diagram for that case, what you gonna do?

The future: Imagine dunning letters flying in your face .... forever!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

Re: You are just a number, to be bled for corporate profit.

Please feel free to open the "fair trade" mobile shop, for kinder, gentler, more socialistic and less alienating service.

You will get a free Che shirt when opening an account.

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Stephen King, William Gibson and The Quantum Moment

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Trollface

”The theory cannot be expressed pictorially and mere words mean nothing” (Heisenberg)

A those nuggets of the wise ancients, like alchemical musings they are. Just add mandragore.

Meanwhile:

Quantum Picturalism

The quantum mechanical formalism doesn't support our intuition, nor does it elucidate the key concepts that govern the behaviour of the entities that are subject to the laws of quantum physics. The arrays of complex numbers are kin to the arrays of 0s and 1s of the early days of computer programming practice. In this review we present steps towards a diagrammatic `high-level' alternative for the Hilbert space formalism, one which appeals to our intuition. It allows for intuitive reasoning about interacting quantum systems, and trivialises many otherwise involved and tedious computations. It clearly exposes limitations such as the no-cloning theorem, and phenomena such as quantum teleportation. As a logic, it supports `automation'. It allows for a wider variety of underlying theories, and can be easily modified, having the potential to provide the required step-stone towards a deeper conceptual understanding of quantum theory, as well as its unification with other physical theories. Specific applications discussed here are purely diagrammatic proofs of several quantum computational schemes, as well as an analysis of the structural origin of quantum non-locality. The underlying mathematical foundation of this high-level diagrammatic formalism relies on so-called monoidal categories, a product of a fairly recent development in mathematics. These monoidal categories do not only provide a natural foundation for physical theories, but also for proof theory, logic, programming languages, biology, cooking, ... The challenge is to discover the necessary additional pieces of structure that allow us to predict genuine quantum phenomena.

And also:

”Cultural anxieties during 1920s Germany were ultimately the reason why the founders of Quantum Mechanics placed randomness at the centre of their theory”.

This bodes well for new advances in the early 21st century, where permanent observation, economic and cultural upheavals and the death throes of the american empire are sure to lead to new metaphors.

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Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

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Microsoft exams? Tough, you say? Pffft. 5-YEAR-OLD KID passes MCP test

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Re: Good for him.

Why is studying random details with no sense and meaning good for him?

Might as well study the slightly wrong decimal expansion of Pi to 10'000 digits.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Better play WoW

spends roughly two hours a day studying Microsoft's operating system

He's a goner.

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Assassin's Creed bugs shift setting to LSD-drenched 1960s Paris

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Holmes

Re: That hell under paris exists!

Well, you can get both now, plus sourly commuters pressed into Métro like SAUCISSONS, and possibly gang fights / a stolen wallet / extremely overpriced coffee / taxis shamelessly fleecing you / CRS feeling, if not beating you up because you were caught near a protest action by Force Ouvrière.

It's like Upper Volta with a Tour Eiffel.

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Lights OUT for Philae BUT slumbering probot could phone home again as comet nears Sun

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Paris Hilton

Re: A lot of people think...

80% of it's mission

How are these 80% measured and are they like the perennial "80% of the software project is done now, I swear!"?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Alien

which outer solar system mission would you rather was abandoned completely so that this mission might be able to get a small amount of additional science done?

Because pols and green freaks can't find their arse with both hands we are left with the choice:

"Do you want to suck a lot or to suck a whole lot?"

(And protest placards will go up in any case while much handwringing will occur in the corridors of power and questions are asked whether that Europa probe might not be better powered with renewable energies)

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I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

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Mushroom

"The shirt I wore this week … I made a big mistake, and I offended many people and I am very sorry about this,"

BIG MISTAKE.

Tell all those motherfuckers off, dude! Seriously, punch them in their fucking FACE even the FEMALES. These zombified people wouldn't even DARE to say something from behind their assorted neurotic complexes when you met them in the street.

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Apple: Want a PATCH for iOS Masque attack? TOUGH LUCK, FANBOI

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Paris Hilton

Is misread this as "ISIS Mosque" attack

Am I being unduly influence by Amurrican reporting?

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