* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

13348 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Oracle v Google: Big Red wants $9.3bn in Java copyright damages

Destroy All Monsters
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Mushroom

Here's hoping both of the teams get cancer...

...but in particular the Oracle team.

There is a serious danger of the whole industry going up in flames, and all for their 9.3 billion pieces of silver (or rather less, in spite of grandiose claims by oxygen-wasting, water-polluting lawyers)

Meanwhile Java has apparently been grabbed by the suits and is about to get the sociopathic reaper treatment. God help us all.

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Cosmic bonks, breakups led to birth of Saturn's moons as dinos died out

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Re: Shades of Velikovksy?

That sounds at least plausible.

Also, Julian Jaynes' bold theory about mental reconfiguration may be true, who knows.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Saturn's gravitational pull

Tides.

And the Roche Limit for the Planet/Moon system which is not a fixed value but depends on relative size and whether that Moon is a heap of rubble/ice or nickel-iron.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Saturn in Mythology was Known as a "Sun"!

Saturn was never a "Sun" (not even in Arthur C. Clarke novels), so what's up wth this citation?

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Wait... who broke that? Things you need to do to make your world diagnosable

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Re: different times on their internal clocks, whatever logs..will be almost impossible to collate

But Shimo's "Takedown" is basically a hagiography his cool self, written by that NYT ICT hack Markoff. Don't buy, possible leaf through it when you find it at the disposal centre.

Better read Jonathan Littman's "The Fugitive Game", even if Kevin M. says it ain't what really happened. At least it reads like journalism.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Unleash Chaos Monkey!

DO it!

(Not that I have dared to do this yet, I'm chicken this way)

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: different times on their internal clocks, whatever logs..will be almost impossible to collate

Time SNAFU was even mentioned in "The Cuckoo's Egg" if I remember well.

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Ever wondered what the worst TV show in the world would be? Apple just commissioned it

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Paris Hilton

Re: Apple's version of "The Internship" (aka "Google goes auto-fellatio")

Not every critic rated it in their top ten

Judging from the IMDB cemmentary ("Just what section of the cinematic audience this pile of tripe is aimed at I really don't know. Maybe it's teenagers, those Dre wearing plastic headphone types who like to think they live in a land of cool and internet worldliness, but then it features two middle-aged heroes trying to find a job at Google so how does that compute? Pardon the pun.") etc., I would say this is a faint understatement?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: It could be good, or it could be a barely disguised ad for the App Store..

Oh, except at the end when the engineers go to the product launch and see people they've never heard of take all the credit for their work.

That's why you always need to take Claymores to the launch meetings in those nerdy carry-ons...

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: A day in the life of a Genius

Kill me now.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: I am an Apple fan, mostly, .... BUT ....

Feel the difference

No, but you could leave the "genius" part out. T'was all retconned.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: yep

One day we will look back to the 21st century and laugh.

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ExoMars probe narrowly avoids death, still in peril after rocket snafu

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Paris Hilton

Re: It's not "Rocket Science"

systems that can be restarted on orbit after a usually longer rest period (you need storable fuel that still flows in the frigid temperatures of space and you need to get that fuel into the engine at 0g)

This seems to not be the case here as Russian manoeuvering is over: ESA is responsible for future manoeuvers. Plus, these are not new technologies at all and they are not different from any orbital manoeuvering which seems to be well within Russian skillset.

I foresee rising insurance premiums in the future for Russian Proton launches.

Launchers are not "deep space", you are contradicting yourself.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: It's not "Rocket Science"

I don't see that there is any difference between "deep space launches" and anything else. You just launch the crap when near Earth, from then on it's intertia and minor course corrections based on hydrazine injections.

It's not as if there were any Captain Future-style spaceship operations going on out there.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: It's not "Rocket Science"

The Briz-M going pompers because it didn't vent the tanks?

here:: Michel Denis, ExoMars flight director at the European Space Operations, Center in Darmstadt, Germany, said that the two craft were many kilometers apart at the time of the breakup, so the explosion wouldn’t have posed a risk. Still, the mission team won’t be 100% certain until all the science instruments are completely checked over in the coming weeks.

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Six charged for 'hacking' lottery terminals to spew only winning tickets

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Trollface

"felony rigging charges"

Nothing was rigged, it was working as expected.

The next round of SCRUM will fix it...

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Mud sticks: Microsoft, Windows 10 and reputational damage

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Re: Windows 10 is going well in corporates

but the majority of corporates will have Windows 10 deployed by end 2016

George Bush, is that you?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

Re: Windows 10 is not cause of down trending PC sales

This is the same industry that genuinely believes Unix design foundations laid down in an era of Winchester disks and Wang terminals are still even remotely fucking relevant today.

Yeah, because having overly complexified/prettiified crap (there is a german expression that reads like "clickybunty" I think) which breaks in "interesting" fashion and which cannot be fixed by helpdesk level 1 neither (should you, by the the good graces of luck and money even get to it) actually skilled support ABSOLUTELY is the way to go TODAY.

Enjoy your breakage, virus-ridden cancer and "imma so cool" incidental complexity. As well as the bold & stylistic interfaces that aare chasing the latest fads for kids released from art school in 6-month intervals (I'm also looking at you here, KDE)

For the love of Codd

In better times, an anti-prophet like you would have had his tongue ripped out for taking Good Names in vain. This would have been followed by a solid burning.

Software is a means to an end, and that end is making the user's life easier, not harder.

You have married into the wrong house, then. Begone.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Wow...

The times, they ain't a'changing...

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Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

Re: Think Detroit

I dread getting presented with a Michel Moore movie about Microsoft and dead, burnt-out, computing suburbia where only dazed, jobless data scavengers survive, listlessly waiting for the next democratic update truck to arrive.

It would be like "Tron: Nadella and Me"

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Windows

Re: @Alumoi It's the data harvesting

> A snip at £116.99.

I never understood this kind of pricing. It's basically a sticker that says "DON'T BUY ME, YOU COMPLETE CRETIN".

It's not even Veblen's idea of "the more pricey, the more classy", because everyone knows WIndows is mildly disgusting computing fast food with added trans-fats.

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Atlassian finally gives users Bitbucket code search

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Mushroom

Can I finally get adequate user/role management for the Confluence/JIRA Cloud Products?

...as it is, it's just unfit for purpose. Just saying.

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Microsoft did Nazi that coming: Teen girl chatbot turns into Hitler-loving sex troll in hours

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Re: Not surprising

the Urban Dictionary needing to be deleted from IBM Watson's input set

Add it back and you could get a conversational bot for First-Person Shooters.

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EU ministers to demand more data access after Brussels attacks

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Holmes

Kneecap Erdogan: Controversy-friendly

The controversy-friendly Turkish President, Recep Erdogan

That's the guy who orders a major newspaper to turn from Erdogan-critic to Erdogan-friendly overnight (not even announcing a change of board) while its archives are being "purged", menaces reporters and tells the constitutional court that it is unconstitutional and unpatriotic and should take care what it says. Did I mention that he ordered an attack on his own kurdish.speaking people for no good reason?

I would say "looking after his popularity level" is a better description than "controversy-friendly".

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Security education outfit EC-Council dishes out ransomware online

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Re: This:

They probably don't even know who is responsible for the website.

Likely to be some greek consultancy.

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MH-370 search loses sharpest-eyed robot deep beneath the waves

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Black Helicopters

Re: Waste Of Time

All of this pain and heartache could've been avoided 2 years ago if the international community just owned up and said "look our satellite spotted the plane going in to the sea at this point".

Much citation needed!

I agree that the Murricans likely know who REALLY was manning that BUK that go the other MH, but why would anyone monitor the arse of the earth / the middle of nowhere just because?

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Google puts a gun to the head of IT middlemen – the ops teams

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Google dreams - no stuff, just fluff.

App Engine, BigQuery, our container engine, they just work

Sometimes they go down and then some groveling press release has to be issued.

and developers can be on their way to full 'write and run'.

I have seen code that wouldn't run inside a monkey with digestion problems.

I don't think there is a need to read much further.

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Okay IT pros, change happens. But here's your Reg guide to staying in control

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Megaphone

Re: Or join the 21st century.....

Or join the 21st century and simply adopt an Agile Software Development methodology

Change management has scant to do with development, software or otherwise. Nor with Waterfall.

Think about this. Being unable to do calculations does not mean that you magically will have enough money at the end of the month.

I am successfully managing an agile multinational BI project that started with no spec apart from the Board wanting to know "what the hell is happening in the business".

HAHA right. You are either full of bullshit or it's the rest of the team that does that actual work and you are glomming on it.

Now step away from IT and keep your hands in the air, buster.

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How one developer just broke Node, Babel and thousands of projects in 11 lines of JavaScript

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Re: @ Mark Allread

Javascript is now being used outside the browser. Node.js is one of such runtimes.

And not a single justification was ever heard for this cancerous growth.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Waaa !!!

Hush!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

Re: Left padding

This looks like something copied from a BASIC tutorial 20 years ago.

I think you mean 30 years ago.

As the Reg population ages, an "undertaker" icon will become of higher priority.

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Error checks? Eh? What could go wrong, really? (DoSing a US govt site)

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Headmaster

Re: Moral on the -1 passed as array index?

Moral on the -1 passed as array index? The moral is never do it, period.

The moral is, define an appropriate type that is ok with taking -1 as an index while normal arrays would throw.

That's what types are for.

They are statically (sometimes dynamically) verifiable constraints on the crap we produce.

And then you still lhave asserts and contracts of course.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Moral on the -1 passed as array index?

they have a copyright on rangeCheck()

They would need a patent. (Might have it too, you never can get enough ISIS on corpo-lawyers and the patent offices)

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A Logic Named Joe: The 1946 sci-fi short that nailed modern tech

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Re: Mankind Pwnd and Hope and Change Delivered with Alien Memes and Beings into Autonomous Means ‽ .

The title will be "Artificial Insanity"

I think this was a side-note in Neal Stephenson's "Anathem" (issued 2008 ... WTF? That's nearly 10 years ago. What happened?)

Neal doesn't believe in AI, but I cannot share that kind of mysticism.

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Google debuts Node.js beta on its App Engine

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FAIL

Make work for idle hands

Now on Google AppEngine: Reinvented square wheel which is being flattened performance-wise by old-school Java application servers anyway and (hopefully?) meant for people who:

1) Think JavaScript must be used everywhere in spite of being so bad that there are languages on top that "transpile" to it

2) Have obviously converted to IT from management and are convinced Node.js is "hot" but are otherwise bereft of any serious domain knowledge

3) Basically haven't understood that there is an OS between their "synchronous" call and the hardware (it's what the OS is for, duh)

FAIL icon because there is no USELESS icon.

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

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Re: Bring your Daughter to work day

Holy damn the moderator nuked a joke that had something to do with the Corn Laws. Harsh.

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French publishers join Swedish 'Block Party' to pester ad refuseniks

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This hard on the news that students are protesting...

...because new laws are threatening to make it easier to employ them. Unions are on board.

This world: a farce

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Comms 'redlining' in Brussels as explosions kill up to 30 people

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Belgium isn't even in the war on stuff?

Blowback is a bitch but it's very unclear what Belgium has to with anything at all, including the war on terror, except that it has a large muslim population with probably quite a few fiery preachers getting financed by Saudi Arabia / Qatar.

Nice one, Amurrica. Sitting pretty in your shitty homeland while sending money to radical friends and droning the whole world.

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Paris Hilton

Re: getting close to home

Really makes you think...

Makes you think what?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Not only in the capital

keep a torch handy

Don't you mean a generator, an AKM, boxes of food and enough ammo to keep the neighbors off your lawn?

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True believers mind-meld FreeBSD with Ubuntu to burn systemd

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Re: It highlights one point ot the Unix philosophy Poettering doesn't get

It's a dev philosophy, Jim, but not as we know it!

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What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

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Paris Hilton

Tell us what to name it. Unless, of course, we don't like the name you all like, in which case we'll just do what we always do and pick our own damn name

It's like US-supported regime change, then?

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Electronic Superhighway 2016-1966 – a retro: Texts, ar*se and ASCII rolls

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Re: KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

Bah.

Sex is fucking overrated, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde.

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It's about the Internet.

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Oracle fights Russian software policy with Postgres smear

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Holmes

NATO adware

Vladimir Putin's military adventures in Crimea

El Reg, please stop doing "we was attacked without provocations, honest" declarations.

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How Microsoft copied malware techniques to make Get Windows 10 the world's PC pest

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Headmaster

You seem to have serious trouble with the proper use of logical connectives (not to mention punctuation), so your opinion is probably not worth much, sorry.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Mutating Patches...

I sure hope these businesses are not using Microsoft stuff, because then their sanity must be questioned.

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Microsoft will rest its jackboot on Windows 7, 8.1's throat on new Intel CPUs in 2018 – not 2017

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Paris Hilton

Re: EOL.

Win 10 is a purely commercial OS without the faintest taint of ideological purity or political correctness, running programs and drivers distributed under any terms you could name without a whisper of protest.

I hope this kind of dross is being written by a paid grassrooter sitting in a warm office in the Redmond Complex, pining for a warm cup of coffee.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Shock report: People doing 9-to-5 just want to keep using what they are using and not be served the Windows beautified interface "change is good, it's for you best, you will like it, we have also complexified and re-styled/flattened/recolored it a bit for your amusement" bullshit. Film at 11, after Trump!

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Hackers crack OS X, Windows, web browsers' security to net $460,000

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Re: really?

Sadly ....

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