Your Spanish mate
seems to be living in another world if he thinks the UK will be able to have both less regulation and full access to single market. From what he says I know where he's coming from, but we all have somewhat limited perspectives:
I have close knowledge of several instances in Spanish industry where the regulations force them out of business to the benefit of some large German firms (regulations are tailored to suit these firms). Also I think that EU subsidies, whether in the form of grants, research projects or direct subsidies, destroy competitiveness. I know many companies and institutions living out of EU subsidies.
Here's he complaining about EU standards being based on DIN (German industry standards, many of which are drawn up by the industries themselves.). Well, in a game of standards the first one with a complete set tends to win. And the EU is a great example of how common standards can lower barriers to trade. Germany understands this game better than Spain. On the flip side it also has a much more open market than Spain: the Spanish government intervened a few years ago to stop German utility companies buying Spanish ones, which would have advanced much needed deregulation in the area as is already the case in Germany. A more competitive environment in Spain would be the best way to compete with German companies.
As for subsidies: I don't really know of any large industrial economy that doesn't have them on a large scale. In America DARPA's projects are basically a trough for the military industrial complex, withdraw them and a lot of companies would go to the wall.
There are, of course, cushy projects out there but the EU doesn't provide that much funding (when compared with what national governments tend to provide) and it does have a pretty good record with projects that might otherwise never have happened (CERN, Ariane, ITER, etc.). But the main point is: the UK would be in a much better place to reform this stuff as a member of the team committed to reform and one trying to reverse the post-expansion navel gazing.