* Posts by A. Coatsworth

289 posts • joined 29 May 2008

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Revealed: Mystery 7-year cyberspy campaign in Latin America

A. Coatsworth

When it's a matter of dick measuring contests... erm, I mean, of "National Security" governments can and often do put the right people in the right positions.

A National Healthcare database? pfffft! who cares, it's not like somebody will die.

Spying on foreign "threats"? Oh Em Gee! Man all stations, PRONTO!

... And it's the same all over the damned world...

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If it still works six months from now, count yourself lucky

A. Coatsworth

The only Apple kit I've ever owned is a 30Gb iPod (the first with video playback). Bought back in 2007, it's still going strong, I use it on a regular basis . Battery life has degraded to around 6 hours but that's better than expected for a 8+ years device.

So from the negligible experience I have, yes Apple devices are bulletproof... what irks me, and is the reason I never bought any other fruity kit, is the amount of artificial limitations they put in the device, for their own sake and against what's better for the customer: no FM radio, has to be synchronized with the pc using the crime against humanity that is iTunes (I luckily can use Winamp instead, but why is it necessary to use *any* software to sync a damn usb disk?) laughably short list of supported audio formats, ONE single choice of supported video format, proprietary connector, the supplied earphones were garbage, it strips the audio files form its metadata on upload and did I mention iTunes? (I hate it with the burning passion of a thousand Suns)

Looking back I wonder if it has worth the while... it's impressive that a device that uses spinning rust has survived so long the hostile environment that is my front pocket (narf narf!) but the amount of time I lost fighting iTunes, converting files back and forth, reloading the whole library because the table used to match audio files with metadata got corrupted, getting patches for Winamp... I wonder if I had been better with a Zen Vision, which was my other option back then...

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German ex-pat jailed for smearing own pat all over Cork apartment

A. Coatsworth
Happy

I came directly to the comments to complain about the shameless clickbait in the byline."What the fsck does it matter if he was an Apple employee?" I thought, incensed. "Damn you Reg" -I ranted on- "we all hate Apple, but that doesn't mean you have to smear it (tehe!) in this business"

And then I got to the last line, and was hit in the head by that demolishing joke.

Well played, mr. Fay, well played.

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Love your IoT gadget but could you keep the noise down?

A. Coatsworth

Re: That Friday feeling!

yeah, "being paid for"... I'm not clever enough to make a economic joke, much less one so subtle.

To be frank, I don't know why I chose such PC way to say that he doesn't work for el Reg anymore

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A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: That Friday feeling!

I do miss Worstall's articles but never liked the decision of publishing them (and Dabbsy's) on Saturdays, given that most readers access the site Mon - Fri during working hours... *ahem*

And it's true: Worstall's services are no longer needed by El Reg. The man himself confirmed that on a forum post a while ago.

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A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: That Friday feeling!

Given that the "weekend" section disappeared mysteriously and quietly a couple of week ago (a passing away that *nobody* seems to mourn), I have high hopes that Dabbs and the BOfH will finally be back to their rightful place: Friday Morning* where they can help us jumpstart the dreadful day.

*Morning in the left-hand side of the Pond, at least.

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French Playmobil heist: El Reg denies involvement

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

So, the delays with LOHAN, the problems with the Spanish bureaucracy, the issues in SpacePort... it all was an alibi for this formidable heist, and now we commentards are all accomplices of it...

... It makes perfect sense: the original Playmonaut is the mastermind behind it all, its supposed disappearing over the English Channel was coldly calculated so he can continue pulling the strings from the shadows!!

How can we even be sure that this "Lester Heines" is a real person and not an avatar of the evil Playmonaut??

What medication? I don't need no stinkin' medication!

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By 2019, vendors will have sucked out your ID along with your cash 5 billion times

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Thanks Odin!

I was envisioning a surge in attacks with handheld eye-blenders like the ones in that scene from The Avengers...

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Post-pub schnellnosh neckfiller: Currywurst

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Mayonnaise with Currywurst works great, although in my (rather limited) experience, "some mayonnaise" translates to "semi lethal dose of mayonnaise" for most Currywurst street vendors in Dresden

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Connected kettles boil over, spill Wi-Fi passwords over London

A. Coatsworth

Re: IoT - Cheap; Secure; Connected

IoT is, by definition, Connected.

News such as this show us that it's never Secure.

Is it Cheap? I doubt it...

So, it's more like "choose Connected and let us shaft you in every other front"

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Who gets Teslas made and throws Apple shade? It's… MUSK!

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

My compliments to the Title Writer

Get that man (or woman) a beer! Now I'll have that song stuck in my head all day.

... Daaaamn right!

8
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Hats off to Nintendo’s platform supremo Super Mario Bros at 30

A. Coatsworth
Headmaster

What's "infamous" about the Super Mario tune? I'm sure it's one of the most *famous* pieces of gaming music, but it's reputation is spotless...

Also, if my memory serves well, Luigi was actually clad in white, not green, in Super Mario Bros for NES.

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US to stage F-35-versus-Warthog bake-off in 2018

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Re: Why Warthog, sir?

Didn't I just tell you to stop makin' up animals?!

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PALE BACKSIDE of lovely Luna flits past in imagery from 1 MILLION miles out

A. Coatsworth
Happy

King of backcronyms

This animation is goddamned EPIC! hope the person who concocted that backcronym for the camera array got at least a pat in the back.

Of all the amazing space photos, from the pale blue dot to the Earth rise to Pluto's heart, this gif is got to be my new favorite.

I have to concur with an Anonymous Coward up there: it looks fake. I know it is not fake, but it is surreal seeing something as common as the Moon over the Earth, from "behind". It makes me think of that Victorian engraving of an alchemist sticking his head outside of the Fixed Stars Dome, and looking for the first time at the "hidden machinery" that makes the Universe work (Wikipedia tells me it's the Flammarion Engraving)... Breathtaking stuff

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Petrol cars are dead in the water, says Tesla CTO waving numbers on the back of an envelope

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Re: Still a bit confused

I had the same question, The only sensible explanation I've found is economies of scale: it is (or should be) more efficient to have a single main power station somewhere out of town than thousands of little internal combustion engines going around, even if they burn the same fuel. That takes into account the losses due to energy transmission over the lines.

N.B: that's not my opinion and I don't endorse nor refute it in any way. It's just a plausible explanation I read.

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The Breakfast (Table) of Champions: Micro Machines

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Re: "I would like to see it with updated graphics though"

Logged to comment that it reminded me of Re-Volt. Great little game, sadly I never managed to make it run in post-Win XP machines.

The tracks were really funny and inventive, they not only raced around the store but in a suburban neighborhood, inside a supermarket, in the science museum... and on the decks of luxury cruiser Toy-tanic. Sod that damn track! I never managed to beat it.

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Google bows to inevitable, stops forcing Google+ logins on YouTubers

A. Coatsworth
Happy

I wonder what does "Schadenfreude" mean..

6
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Crazy Chrysler security hole: USB stick fix incoming for 1.4 million cars

A. Coatsworth
Coat

"unfortunately, the update has to be manually installed via a USB stick plugged into the car"

Why is this unfortunate? that's the way updates to a car SW should be done! Only by physical access, that keeps things safer.

I guess you could give the car some kind of wireless communication, so it can download the update automatically from the internet, but that connection might become a source for malicious attacks...

wait, WHAT?

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Galactic BIRTH: ALMA peers THIRTEEN BEELLLION years into Dawn of Time Itself

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

This is maddening

Before I faint for thinking too much about it, one question: is there a limit on how far can we see?

Newer and newer equipment allow us to see farther in space, and by extension, in time.

ALMA is now peering at things that occurred a "mere" billion years after the Big Bang. Is it theoretically possible, with more sensitive equipment, to actually perceive the Big Bang somehow? if not, why not?

And if it's possible (at least theoretically), would that mean that we could point out this equipment to any point in the sky and see it? is the "Big Bang" out there, all around us? or is it in a single direction?

The mind boggles... I'm definitely not suited for astrophysics, simply thinking about these things make me feel insignificant and sick...

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Apple Watch is such a flop it's the world's top-selling wearable

A. Coatsworth

@Dana W

CTRL + F "windows"... no results on page.

Nope, you're the first person to drag Microsoft to a discussion where it simply doesn't have a part. Is there a MS equivalent of Goldwin's Law?

I'm quite sure that MS, Dell and Linux "fanboys" can rationalize their preferences exactly in the same way as you did.

These people are living proof that insecurities can't be cured with iShinies.

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Reg top tip: Don't have the same name as someone else if you use Facebook's Instagram

A. Coatsworth

Re: Simple Test

No sir, the famous Iniesta has the number 8 in his username because that's the number on his jersey. Footballers tend to get attached to their numbers...

I doubt there are andresiniesta1 thru 7 in instagram.

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Nintendo boss Satoru Iwata was MORE than a suit – he was a CODER

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

"Please understand"

Given how horrible can be the people on internet some times, it's very nice to see that the life of Iwata-san is being universally celebrated and his untimely departure greatly mourned.

Not all of his decisions were good, of course. But it was very interesting to see how a coder, a techie risen from the ranks could steer such a big company with a lot more hits than misses.

He will be missed. and I, as dyed-in-the-wool Nintendo fan, I am really worried about the company's future after him.

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DOUGHNUT (donut?) and whale FOUND ON PLUTO

A. Coatsworth

You'll find out that's not a doughnut, it's a flask, as seen from the top.

A flask for what, you may ask? why, to carry brains, of course!

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Apple Watch sales in death dive after mega launch, claims study

A. Coatsworth
Flame

Re: "uses its Unroll.me plugin to monitor people's email inboxes"

That does sound like the core demographic for the Apple Watch...

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2

City of birth? Why password questions are a terrible idea

A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Says who?

The norm in Latin America (and I think in Spain too) is having 2 first names and 2 last names. People usually uses the first - first name and first last name only, so the second first name (so to speak) is in fact a middle name. Some people, like my father, have 2 first names and an invocation to a Patron Saint, which works as a 3rd first name (Something along the lines of Luis Alberto de la Trinidad Lastname Lastname)

Confusing?

Let's see well-known example: Everybody hs heard of Hugo Chávez. His full name was Hugo Rafael Chávez Frías. "Rafael" being his middle name and "Frías" his mother's last name

I'd bet the 4% percent that got the middle name right tried with "José"

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'Nokia store? I dunno no Nokia store. This here's a Microsoft Reseller'

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

Re: "...showcase a range of Microsoft experiences..."

That sounds like a direct path to the Dark Side!

Are you suggesting these shops will have a back door to an Apple Store?

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RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

A. Coatsworth
Headmaster

Did the image released by NOAA really read "hanger" instead of "hangar"?

Or the inner works of WWII carriers were different to what I have always imagined, and planes were actually hung (maybe upside down, as socks in a clothesline) below deck?

*Consider any error included in this comment as karma biting me in the ass as payment for my pedantry

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Why Feed.Me.Pizza will never exist: Inside the world of government vetoes and the internet

A. Coatsworth
WTF?

Interesting Spain is protecting the domain "es.abogado" that, as was pointed out before, means "is a lawyer" and can be used for some funny stuff... but is not protecting "es.medico", "es.arquitecto", "es.periodista", "es.BOFH"...

Are lawyers the only professionals subject of control and scrutiny from the government in Spain? I highly doubt so....

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Cross-dressing blokes storm NSA HQ: One shot dead, one hurt

A. Coatsworth
Coat

@NoneSuch

Oh, but they are! The NSA is trying to protect your data with all their might. Why do you think they want to have it all in their datacenters?

The one with the matching tinfoil hat, thanks ------------------------->

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LOHAN chap serves up 'tenner a week' e-cookbook

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Given the sad, sad pics that accompanied the coverage of last years' challenges here, I can't fathom *why* would anyone want images included in the book!

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BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Friday morning in the left side of the Pond.

I just sat down with a fresh cup of coffee, open The Register, and found a new BOFH.

It's an extreme sport, drinking coffee in front of the computer while reading Simon's column, but that's how it's supposed to be, that's the way to start the Friday!! I only wish "Something for the weekend, Sir?" would come back to this sensible schedule.

I know it's pub o'clock in the UK, so cheers!

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Are you clever enough, and brave enough, to give a Register lecture

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

So, it's a TED-Reg style?

Sign me in! (as audience)

This calls for a new backcronym but at this time, on a Wednesday, I can't think of anything remotely clever...

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Osbo: Choose a f*cking IoT fridge. Choose spirit-crushing driverless cars

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

"Your Samsung (tm) fridge works better with Walmart (tm) brand milk"

Will the connected fridges be able to tell where an article was bought?

Can they refuse to accept a source, or give advantage to another?

Will this devolve into a "generic vs original ink cartridge" kind of situation?

The possibilities are endless!! although not necessarily for the customer...

Big Brother is watching you (drink milk directly from the bottle)

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Zuck: Get your FULLY EXPOSED BUTTOCKS off my Facebook

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

Re: Breatfeeding pics

"Must admit, beyond me why anyone would want to post a picture of themselves. Period."

-FTFY

Luddite out.

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LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

A. Coatsworth
Happy

All the articles about Cash'n'Carrion in the last weeks got me wondering: is it possible to get these goods directly in Vulture Central? (and by the way is it *possible* to visit Vulture Central?)

Shipping and handling fees are prohibitive for a lowly computer-botherer in the wrong side of the pond, but if said commentard just happened to be visiting the Capital of the Empire later in the year....

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Sir Terry remembered: Dickens' fire, Tolkien's imagination, and the wit of Wodehouse

A. Coatsworth

I've heard the names of Terry Pratchett and Discworld before, but I've never read any of the books...

After reading the dozens of loving comments left by commenters it the notes published by El Reg, I really want to get in the Discworld... er... world.

I'd really appreciate tips or comments on what would be the best approach to Sir Terry's work

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Massive gravitational lens flare unveils EINSTEIN CROSS SUPERNOVA

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Woah, there's no need to use such language over a technicality!

If you don't like space-time, it's ok. No need to tell it to get bent...

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Tired of IoT hype? Internet of SLUGS and SPIDERS is the reality

A. Coatsworth
Windows

IoT...

What would you rather introduce in your house: a smart tv, an internet-ready fridge, or *that* spider meter?

That's a though decision...

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Lost WHITE CITY of the MONKEY GOD found after 500 years

A. Coatsworth
Devil

First I misread the city's name as "White monkey"... and then it results that the man who discovered ended up committing suicide!

This is not about the Mountains of Madness as a few fellow commentards suggested... it's about the late Arthur Jermyn and his family!!

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Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

A. Coatsworth
Stop

Donner Party

IN SPAAAAAAACE!

... that's all

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Black Beauty Martian meteorite IS a SPOT-ON match with Red Planet's DARK PLAINS: boffins

A. Coatsworth

Re: que imposición?

What did the Spanish language *ever* do to you, to warrant such ferocious attack?

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Twin Adam Sandlers shake El Reg's movie unwatchablathon team

A. Coatsworth
Flame

"Effect" or "affect"?

Other than that, I'd recommend Absinthe, and lots of it, to try and wash out the horror you're about to face.

May the Green faerie protect your sanity this weekend!

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: Computer Games Movies

It depends... the 2 CGI Resident Evil made by Capcom are quite fun... I'd go as far as to say that the second one (RE: Degeneration) is actually good, that is if you like the games' characters* and enjoy their crazy plots: in short, if you're a fan of the games, these movies are highly entertaining (and you'll know to steer clear of the Mila Jovovich vehicles...)

Any other videogame movie, with the possible exception of Silent Hill, falls squarely in the list of worst-ever

*Leon S. Kennedy rocks

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A. Coatsworth
Flame

I'm treading on really cliché territory...

but I'd nominate Star Wars: Episode 2 as one of the worst movies ever. It was the only time I have actually walked out of the cinema (and watched it years later on cable tv to confirm it was as bad as I remembered)

There is no saving grace from the terrible acting to the insta-obsolete-looking FX to the suicide inducing script...

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SO. Which IS more important to humanity: Facebook, or Portugal?

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: Reg - Why are you asking this?

My crystal ball tells me that you jumped right to the comments to amaze us with your discovery without bothering to read the fscking article first... I am correct, am I not?

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Sony hack was good news for INSURERS and INVESTORS

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

I sometimes talk trash about other people, I guess most people do... But I'm sure I don't do it by email, and DAMN sure I don't do it over corporate email.

That's just one of many baffling behaviors within Sony exposed by the hack... I guess people up the corporate ladder feel more invulnerable in what they do...

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Spanish scraper scrapped: Google axes Google News

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

To paraprhase

Google has all the keys and guards all the doors (to the internet)

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Orion 'Mars' ship: Cosmic ray guard? Go. Parachutes? Go. Spacerock shield? Go!

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: WTF??

but... but... I thought the NASA were proper boffins. Don't they use El Reg's Unit System or, at the very least, Metric?

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GOOAALLL! Back of the net! 'Millions of dollars' score .football gTLD

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Did-you-see-that-ludicrous-display-last-night (dot football)

The greatest football forum in the web!

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Bada-Bing! Mozilla flips Firefox to YAHOO! for search

A. Coatsworth
Go

Re: Time to duck and cover?

It does, eulampios, but the duck has a cute html only search page for us javascript-hating luddites

https://duckduckgo.com/html/

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