Posts by Dennis

I have a bunch of old servers they..........

Could give me a bunch of Kroner's. One even used to run Win95.

Let me know.

Face it People

PHORM is coming in whether we like it or not as it will sit very comfortably with Wacky Jacqui plans for global surveillance. And its free at point of use!!

Think about it:

Innocent people on the DNA Database

Against the law according to the Europe

Kiddie Uberdatabase

Our children's names are not on it. One rule for us another for you

RIPA

Illegal surveillance made legal. I can use this law to justify anything

Surveillance

Nothing to hid nothing to fear.

What we want doesn't matter. These are the days where police can shoot an innocent man in the head and push guys around in the street. Face it people this is a police state where we are all guilty! Laws are there to protect others. Not us

Adequate Safeguards

I see what is happening here. The Government cannot impose adequate safeguards so better to off load the responsibility to someone else. i.e. The Banks, Visa, Access, MasterCard and the good old Indian Call Centre.

Because everybody knows a Chip and Pin is impossible to fool.

Where is the IT Angle here. This is about Invasion of Privacy As Jaquai knows full well. Who would want their spending habits linked to their ID/job/second home.

Was the review any good?

I can imagine if he said the film was like all the other X-Men films i.e. Shite!

that's why he was given the bullet.

If he had raved about it then he would probabily still be in a job.

It isn't the first time a studio/famous person has leaked a film onto the internet. Slumdog Millionaire done all right. I guess the difference is Slumdog was a good film. And it certainly didn't effect the money made on that film

By the way I haven't seen the film and with a little bit of luck I will be able to avoid it, despite their shameless promotion.

And of of course Paris: She knows how to use the Internet for shameless promotion. And her film was pretty good.

The law of supply and demand

The appears to be a law here which has been turned on its head.

Previously the law of supply and demand meant

'I want it so you will make me pay through the nose for it'

It now appears to be 'you demand I have it' but I don't want to pay for it.

So I'm not bothered stick it up your arse. Oh I'm sorry that doesn't suit you? That's your money printing model gone. Tough! get new model.

Ask Jacqui Smith is she still in favour?

So Jacqui how do you feel now about having your privacy invaded?

Can you see the dangers now of listening at doors and publishing?

How would you like PHORM to profile your broadband or better still your husbands?

We might find something intresting there.......

I want to control the information which other people have and use about me and my family. Its not too much to ask, is?

snigger snigger snigger -

I'll bet things are frosty in the Smith house.

Luckily for Jacqui PHORM hasn't been formally rolled out yet. Because if it was...... anybody with money could just purchase their viewing, browsing and ultimately their masturbation habits.

How can they be so sure that Jacqui wasn't watching the film?......

or is her husband just falling on his sword. funar! funar!

I would really like to see the contents or their internet logs. Lets face it if you are sad enough to watch Virgin Porn films. (Funar, Snigger) you will dip your wick (snigger) into the great free pool of Internet Porn. A much more murky place to be.

How do you feel about privacy now Jacqui? Gonna tell us which films it was or would that just be crossing a line into YOUR private life.

Nothing to hide, nothing to fear

So yet another justification for Phorm. RIPA and Mega Databases.

Its not about terrorism it about stopping domestic violence. I have hard facts to back me up, my friend who is a doctor AND a woman AND has been on the GMTV says so.

Well at least until she stops toeing the party line then we will completely disregard her expert advice and carry on with the introduction of the police surveillance state.

The fact that all the specialist police units set up to deal with these problems spend their time eating donuts and playing poker is part of the problem and is non of our business.

Walk along 'Sir' there is nothing to see here unless taking passing interest in the people around you is suspicious behaviour and should be reported to the police as terrorist activity.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I'm wrong.

So this is democracy looks like

Maybe we should send some of our elected representatives off there to pick up some tips on what 'doing what you where elected to do' means

As opposed to what our polotic's do which is chase the Big Business Buck.

New Zealand. I've always liked there. Might be worth considering a move there seeing as the UK has gone to hell

I for one would be glad if they banned 2000AD, Beano, Dandy - Sick

Every bloody month bang it arrives on my doorstep. Thank God it arrives in a plain white envelope! If the neighbours knew. phew!!!

What happened to the days of Mayfair and Fiesta. Good honest to god porn. Have you ever tried to knock one out to a comic. Bloody difficult that's all I can say.

Nothing like how it was in my days.

Remember 'Minnie the Minx' we all know she was a little minx.

Betty Boo. She was another little harlot flashing her pants everywhere she goes. I hope they throw the book at her

Charlie Brown. Well I ask you if there was a kid inviting unwanted attention then it was him. Hanging round with no friends looking sad. Would you like to see my puppy?

So now I have spoiled all your favourite comic characters by associating them with deviant sexual practices maybe we can see how ridiculous this law is. Its as if we the British Public have to be protected from our own desires. Before we know all women/children/animals will be required to cover up in public encase we are so overcome by passion that we decide to think some impure thoughts upon which time Wacqui Jacqui will be down to lobotomise us for our own protection.

Paris? Well thank goodness she isn't a cartoon

give me all your Money, Money, Money!!!

PRS/record companies getting a little too greedy!

Well I guess they will just go back to plodding the streets and slapping court orders on small shops/business's listening to the radio.

Go youTube don't take their shit! I guess it all come down to who has the biggest wad and in this case its youTube.

I could see this ending in court. If only they could conceive of an anti-piracy argument to sue them for. The format/technology they use promotes piracy. Yes that's it brilliant.

I'll bet

That when the result is revealed it will be so misguided, lacking clarity, meaningless and rambling that both sides will claim victory and in the end there will be no change to the current status quo.

Can we have a rich lawyer icon.

@ By Simon Miles - Its not the database of DNA that is really the problem

It is what they intent to do with it.

I would quite happily give them my DNA to check I wasn't involved in a crime. But once you hand it over it no longer belongs to you. That much is obvious because you cannot get it taken off

So if you have a sample of 9 million DNA samples what would you do with it.

Sell it to:

Life Assurance companies - They could use it to track your family potential for catching cancer,

Car Insurance Companies - Assess your sons potential to be killed drink driving

Health Assurance Company - Assess you potential of becoming an alcoholic.

Use it for Criminal profiling

Is it nature/Nurture are you born a criminal or made into one.

Job Agencies: If you get this job will you take excessive sickness/steal from the company.

Was your father a rapist? Should you be watched incase you go the same way

Eugenics

You cannot have children because there is a one in 100 chance that your children may have a faulty gene.

You cannot have children because there is a five in 100 chance that your children may turn into Criminal.

You cannot have children because there is a 50 in 100 chance that your children may be ginger!

Do anybody think that these things will not happen. Think again! The temptations or Scope Creep would be just to great.

I want to be judged by my actions not something I have no control over. i.e My family history

Rant over!!!

Speccy - Well obvious really

Of course the result is irrelevant

Once Wacqi Jaqui gets her way they will just send you a 'license demand' generated by PHORM.

Much in the same what they do with the TV Licence. Its all in the database. There is nowhere to hide!

Its a Win/Win solution. Media makers get PIratebay to distribute their works for free and then Phorm sponsored by Bank loving Labour will send you a monthly bill plus their Admin charge. That way you can download to your hearts content and never have to worry about a court summons. Just your monthly bill from PHORM./FoolLabour

Didn't I read somewere we aren't allowed to talk about (spy)PHORM. Is that a black Heli...............GULP

Welcome to the machine - It wasn't us it was the computer!

Welcome my son

Welcome to the machine

Where have you been?

It's alright we know where you've been

You've been in the pipeline

Filling in time

@Gerhardt

Gerhardt.

Post the link to your legal song download so that all these people 'socking to the man' can go a drop you a few bob and buy it.

That is an even better way to sock it to 'the man' support independant music.

Or if you have downloaded it already for free what about a little PR for the little man.

Come on folks get behind this guy. I tried to do a google but lots of people have the name: Gerhardt

Do you get the feeling.....

they (the men in suits) are making this up as they go along

Nothing to hide...Nothing to fear

I would imagine that Jaquai has some other things on her mind like getting caught with her hands in the cookie (expenses) jar.

I wish I could get the tax payer to pay off my mortgage for me on 2 house whilst staying with her sister. Naughty naughty!

Oh well welll nothing to hide! Nothing to fear isn't that what you say Jaq!

Couldn't happen to a nicer person

Recently went for a job interview with TMP worldwide

I recently went for a job interview with TMP, this is the company which used to own Monster according to them. Do a little digging and you find they still own a sizeable chunk of the website.

Being smart at the interview, I decided to discuss the company history and the evolution of recruitment on the H'interweb.

So some words of advice if you get invited for an interview.

1. Don't talk about security.

2. Don't talk about mistakes.

3. Don't talk about losing information.

4. Crappy terms and conditions.

Do talk about all the intresting things they have done.

1. Like their on-line recruitment fair

2. ehhh

3. shall we move onto something else

They did ask me did I use Monster. I said no because they had a bad rep about spam and protecting information.

So what the problem with the company: Too many web admins working in isolation with nobody checking up on them.

What was the job. Web Admin

Did I get the job? We mutally agreed that I wasn't suitable.

Am I glad. Yes!

Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit.

Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals. Yes, I am over eighteen, though my IQ isn't.

I don't hold out much hope after the last 2 series but maybe that because...............

"My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me."

No reportable income... too much money let the local police know......

A police campaign targeting people living lavish lifestyles on the proceeds of crime and money laundering has begun in Sussex.

Crimestoppers and Sussex Police joined forces for the campaign called "Too Much Bling, Give Us a Ring".

People are urged to report their suspicions about apparently wealthy people with no legitimate income.

http://www.2muchbling.co.uk/

No reportable income... too much money let the local police know

I think everyone is getting a little over excited here

This would never happen with Jacqui's database. As well all know the British have a stiff upper lip and a back bone which would prevent such a flagrant abuse of power and privilege.

But with the extensive safeguards put in place to prevent such breaches I feel reassured.

No travelling on trains...........

No going to the pub with your laptop.................

No flash drives allowed

and certainly no accountability.

I feel better. Is this racist to rely on our stiff upper lip? I should ask Price Harry, he would know

I Love Librarians

A Librarian is a professional qualification. Most Library's only have one or two Librarians and the rest are just book stampers or as we like to call them Library Assistants.

So what is the big problem.......? Change their job title to 'audience development officers' then you can give the job to any clown that thinks all they do is stamp books. Then they will dole out endless copies of Harry Potter or whichever book is most topical this month. We as a society should have access to all available knowledge not just what trash sells

A Librarian is the guardian of knowledge. They decide which books your children should read, not the government, not the schools and certainly not the church. They ensure the publics' right to good/accurate and unbiased information is available and free to all.

When the Taliban took over Afghanistan the first thing they did was close the Library's. Control a society's access to information and you can control their thoughts and aspirations.

How many people read a book when they were young and through I would love to be a racing car driver or solve a mystery or take a golden ring to Mordor? Books are about raising people expectations and teaching them what can be achieved when they try. Librarians' are the guardians of your right to free information (books).

Believe it or not Google does not have all the answers. And when Phorm rolls out your access to information will be watched and reported back to Wacky Jaqui

So this isn't political correctness it's an attack on our society's ability to access information and an attempt to save money. Any fool can publish on the internet. But books are the sum of societies acquired knowledge. I for one would hate to lose Librarians as I believe they are so important to our society………Oh and I'm married to one of them as well

Do you dare sign the No10 Petition

You can be sure Wacky Jacqui will have that list of names into her database and marked as terrorist/dissenter before it closes.

'When a government is afraid of electorate its democracy'

I'm afraid to sign in-case I get a black mark on my record or a red spot on the back of my head. I'll just wait and hope that democracy works next time I make my X.

Could somebody tell me......

If you aren't going to use your broadband to download movies/games/BBCiplayer.

Just what would you use your superfast broadband connection for...

Surely nobody could handle 'porn pics' ' ahem' 'Just on El Reg Dear 'at that rate.

10mb NTL Broadband which the wife chokes the life out of everytime she runs BBCiplayer.

justlikedennis

Legal Question!

Would it be a fair defence to say you run from the police. Just in case you took a 'walk up Tazer Avenue'

And if you where really upto something bad will you now pack a gun........ Just in case you get stopped by the police............

So if somebody breaks into your house you should now assume they are armed!

And considering that a Tazer has only one shot, its gonna be kinda pointless against real bad guys. They have knifes, guns and travel in gangs.

Better just to be safe than sorry just Taz middle class people for road offences. Intresting to see will there be a Top Of the Pops for Tazers.

Police State here we come. Oh and don't forget you ID Card. Punk!

bzzz$zz

Risk offending somebody or

be complacent while some child is beaten to death.

Which is going to cost us/save us more money.

Shame Haringey!!!

Securing your phone

Also seems to mean having a good rummage throught and then sharing with anybody that will have a look.

Way to go MacDonalds.

So could you call this a 'You've been McJobbed'

Failing to see the IT angle here....................... Or is there a link between Sex and IT. Not in my house but maybe I missing out on something

Stop file sharing or

We will accuse you downloading Gay porn.......................................

If that doesn't work we will accuse you of downloading kiddie Porn

And if that doesn't work we will out you as being a member of the BNP.

How long will it be before they start acting on behalf of Paris.

Funar Funar

Wish I had know that..................

ID Cards are going to make finding a new job easier. No more updating my CV thank you very much. Gimme the card and off I go

One government contract coming up please.

Thats it folks a life of sitting on my arse doing nothing and getting paid shed loads.

(on a serious note this is the way its gonna go. Wanna job you can work a chipshop without an ID or if you want a proper job que up her to receive the Kings Shilling)

BT make Mistakes?? I don't believe it

Sure everyone is entitled to make a mistake. Even BT!

.......but isn't it funny that the mistakes are always in their favour.

But this was just a config issue.!!!!

Why is it possible to make a config mistake and drive another companies customers through the BT/Phorm network.

or

Are we seeing the first of the many excuses BT are trailing to excuse driving everybody throught the PHORM Farm.

If you don't notice where's the harm.................

If you do notice it was a config/setup issue..................

Just don't worry Wacky Jackie says it all right

mis-information - disinformation - We don't know

We don't know how we are going to do it.... we just know that we have to do it.

So here's the plan. Air your most ridiculous idea's to secure a massive budget and frighten all the IT Eggheads and libertarians.

Take the budget and spend it all on holidays/jolly's and working visits to lapdancing clubs.

Approach the government (which is bound to have changed by then) Blame Labour for giving you a woolly brief and ask for more money.

Take that money and spend it all on holidays/jolly's and working visits to lapdancing clubs. Then wait until Phorm is rolled out and then buy the information from them for a fraction of the price.

Report to the public how all the scare stories where rubbish and how easily achievable the database's are with current technology.

Phorm gets a mandate to collect ALL information they want whether you give permission or not because it is now a Government requirement and we are too stupid to understand what's going on anyway.

Pat yourself on the back for a job well done and leave with your massive bonus.

That's my plan anyone want to help me write the bid!!

A Prize if you can find the Phorm Angle

Wouldn't it be interesting if all this advertising could be linked to Phorm in some way. It wouldn't take much. Point a few BBC journalists to these sites. Oh dear it looks like you have been surfing for Viagra on your computer. You haven't well......... Phorm says you have! Look here is the targeted advertising based on your previous surfing habits.

A little untruth.... but lets face it Phorm is too complicated to explain to all the IT savvy users nevermind the BBC. So where's the harm.

Paris - Because she doesn't need any enhancements to performance

Terriost!

Clearly this young lad was trying to circumvent his own Phorm infested connection. Sounds like a case for the Anti-terrorist police.

Right me lad'o 40 days detention for you which we try and figure all this out.

Clearly this is a very serious offence. Mug a granny and they don't even send somebody after you. Steal Wi-Fi. Now that's hardcore

'I'm much happier here', coos talented heiress

Hasn't Paris been disinherited so the tag line for this story is terribly out of date.

Come on Reg! Keep up

And of course who else could it be......................................

This could be good

At least it is highlighting the ridiculousness of DMCA takedowns.

Because lets face it when we complain nobody cares….. when somebody of the power and influence of John McCain complains it gets published on the news.

Maybe if they had listened to me when I complained about the racketeering banks we wouldn't be in the global mess we are in now.

Paris because she says 'Publish and be damned'

'There was no criminal intent'

If this incident was investigated by the London Police they would have said 'There was no criminal intent' AKA no case to answer.

Maybe McKinnon should hire BT Lawyers. They could get him off.

Well thats gambling for

You never know who can steal you stuff.

Paris because lots of people have seen her private things

Priorities

The American economy is on its knee's but its government is still doing its best to protect the profits of big corporations. If I lost my company money I'd be sacked .......................but I guess once to start to earn above a certain amount then the Government will just step in and do you dirty work for you.

When a Government is afraid of its people that's democracy......when its the other way around its a dictatorship. Of if only American can go to war with itself it could end the tyranny.

Want an IT Angle ...............I'll give you IT Angle

When I pay my bills I like to do when I am ready so I get lots of these letters. And often they are strongly worded. I always complain about the manner of these letters and its always the same response.

'These letters are automatically generated by computer and we have no control over the content of the letter.'

So we are in essence being threatened by a BBC computer which is IT angle. So the question I have Who? put the computers in charge.

I have also been taken to court by the BT Computer over an error which no human was able to rectify. I had already paid the bill (months before) and when I told BT this they said they have no record of this. I appeared in court showed my receipt to the judge and was awarded £500 for my trouble. Nice days work for a poor student. It hasn't happened again but I'm still trying...

When you screw up blame the computer. What people fail to rememeber IT is only as good as the clowns that designed the system.

So I think the IT angle is here

time for a change of government

Considering how the our elected government have acted over the last 10 years I have to say I am not surprised in the slightest. Its all trust us we know what we are doing and time and time again they are proved wrong. Then its just a simple sorry and off to another gaff.

Well I for one am fed up. Gordon The Clown doesn't allow 'His People' to talk about new leaders and elections well its time we asked for a new government. Chris could you get a statement from David Cameron (Tories) and try and get this item on the political agenda. They are desperate for votes ask him for a comment and publish it with the promise of a link to his weblog. If he wants to get in touch with the young intelligent people here is his opportunity to do it.

How many more IT catastrophes do we have to endure before people wise up!!

I cant believe I am promoting the Tories a lifetime of Labour destroyed. But what choice do we have. Labour haven't a chance of winning the next election so we need to get a statement from the Tories now before they come to power and then just casually ignore our concerns.

Prepare for boarding the Blue express.............................

I would like to snoop on my sexy

next door neighbour. I'm also also a employee of BT.

Do you think I can get away with it?

Who do you think my next door neighbour is: Paris

Why would ATI and Nvidia Collude?

ATI cards are shit if you want a good game card its always pick NVIDIA.

Looking angryily at the two ATI's I purchased and then binned because they were rubbish. They do come in nice boxes though.

Oh just thought of a good use for an ATI card. Its just the right size to stop my desk for rocking. I take it all back it was £100 well spent

Paris because my ATI card wouldn't even play her video without stuttering...or maybe that was me

the policitians kids are sheilded

But they will still be vulnerable. Just to a better more highly paid class of perpetrator.

This will not save or protect any children. The only way to protect children is to CARE. A radical idea I agree but children are in danger because nobody cares. And you can add every scrap of data about children into as many computers that you like but unless you CARE what happens these children then it won't matter one bit!

Paris because her grandfather cares so much he disinherited her. Sometimes you got to be cruel to be kind