* Posts by Sarah Balfour

361 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Apr 2007

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The Apple Watch: Throbbing strap-on with a knurled knob

Sarah Balfour

I notice

that the wrist wearing the job also has the adornments that no sane person over the age of about 25 would wear, so I'm assuming Adam is a greenhorn. He'll learn. What am I saying…?! I never have.

Sarah Balfour

Re: I don't get it

RELAXING…?! Not the way my dad and his mates play it ain't! Eventually someone's gonna get clobbered to death with a four wood and buried in a bunker - they're all 70+ now, so it's the usual arguments.

People have been shot for slow play in the States, y'know* - you don't fuck with golfers.

*my mum has a pen-friend in AZ, and an argument over slow play at her hubby's club turned nasty when a one of the agitators pulled out a pistol and shot the other in both legs.

Sarah Balfour
FAIL

Re: "objectively gorgeous"

Down-voted, as evidently you've as much knowledge of the meaning of 'tautology' as the person to whom you're responding does of 'oxymoron'.

Tautology = denoting the same - "beautifully gorgeous" would be tautology. Other examples would be 'Gorilla gorilla' the Western Gorilla, and 'Gorilla gorilla gorilla', the Western Lowland Gorilla, although these are more accurately, and correctly, called 'tautonyms'.

Oxymoron = juxtaposition of contradictory words, for example 'creation science'. Oxymoron itself, Late Latin via Ancient Greek, means 'keen-dull' or 'sharp-stupid', making it an oxymoron.

I've responded to 4 threads this morning - and all I've done is be pedantic. Maybe that's all I'm good for…

Sarah Balfour

Re: Health is touted as the Watch’s killer app

What's that about never a truer word than is spoken in jest…? It isn't, seriously. The Second Law of Thermodynamics doesn't apply to Homo sapiens, and overdoing things - cardio I'm referring to here - will cause the catabolism of lean muscle, rather than flab, because muscle is more readily turned into an energy source, a process known as 'gluconeogenesis', this happens with all forms of protein, not just your own muscle (which is technically meat, after all…).

However, if you restrict the carbs you eat, and switch your diet from high-carb to high-fat, you can 'reset' your body to burning fat as fuel, rather than glucose, thus forcing it to burn your own fuel reserves.

Doing it the NHS way, eating a LFHC diet and slogging it out at the gym, or on the street, all you're doing is 'burning' off what you've eaten, thus causing a massive drop in blood-sugar, which causes the release of both grehlin (the 'hunger hormone') and insulin (the 'body-fat creation' hormone as it should more accurately be termed). Chronic cardio also causes the release of cortisol (which I'm sure most know as 'the stress hormone') and, because cortisol has no way of knowing what the stressor is, it covers all eventualities - one of those being famine, and so eating after you've been to the gym will cause most of the carbs you've eaten to be converted to body fat. This is the reason why LFHC diets fail 100% of the time (it's IMPOSSIBLE to drop body fat eating LFHC because you're replenishing it the whole time; you may lose WEIGHT, but most of that will be catabolised muscle).

Eating LCHF breaks the chain as fat doesn't cause insulin release. No insulin release = no storage.

Over 24 stone says I'm not talking out my arse. Did it the NHS way, shot from 24 stone to 32. Did it the right way, dropped from 32 to 7.5. Like I've said before, obesity is a food intolerance. Thing is, nobody believes me because the notion of a high-fat diet being even remotely healthy is lunacy.

Sadly, the flab-bags I REALLY wanted to lose are still there, stubbornly attached to my chest. Losing weight unfortunately DOES NOT cause boob-loss. Moob loss is a different matter.

As I can't afford surgery, guess I'm stuck with the useless sacks of shit. Perhaps I could offer them to Katie Price as 'natural silicone'.

Eco-loons hack Thirty Meter Telescope website to help the 'natives'

Sarah Balfour

Re: What do ecoloons and ISIS have in common?

Drop dead, you ignorant fucktard! What about the rights of First Nations…?

Evidently, the bitter irony of the fact that, in order to search for life on other planets, we feel the need to destroy much of what remains on this, is lost on everyone but myself and the Spaniel.

If a telescope the size of 4.5 footie pitches is REALLY necessary, go build it in the desert, surely with the advancements in tech we've got now, keeping sand out the workings should be trivial.

If it's 'hippy' to want to protect what unspoilt ecosystems remain for future generations, and to treat indigenous and First Nations' people with respect, dignity and equality, then I'm guilty as charged - and fucking proud of it!

Pave paradise and put up a 100ft telescope…?! Fuck off!

Surgery-bot can be hacked to HACK YOU TO PIECES

Sarah Balfour

Re: a doctor writes

Downvoted for incorrect use of 'acronym' - that's an initialism.

Acronym: derived from the Greek 'Akron' - tip, summit, peak and 'nym'.

Fuck not given if this gets a down-vote.

Acer: 'We will be the last man standing in the PC industry'

Sarah Balfour
Pirate

Re: Free upgrade

Acer'll upgrade me…?! Could use an update, definitely need more RAM, and a new CPU wouldn't go amiss, either.

I'm old. In less than 3 weeks' time, I'll be another year closer to ancient.

The only living being that gives a shit is the cat from number 40 - and that's only coz I made the fatal mistake of giving him some chicken once.

Cats. They're mercenary little shits, but… actually, but nothing, they're just mercenary little shits.

Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

Sarah Balfour

there needs to be a 'filthy mind' icon (although I expect I'd be the only one using it)

Apple Watch shipments: Pick a number, double it. Hey, it worked for them

Sarah Balfour

Re: What is the Nerdyist watch, ever?

We weren't allowed watches at school, because jewellery of any type was banned (unless it was a crucifix).

Digital killed the radio star: Norway names FM switchoff date

Sarah Balfour

Feck!

An article about Norway, and things which are easing to be and I can't fathom out how to bring parrots into the conversation.

I'm slacking.

Post Office denies IT blunders led to criminal charges against posties

Sarah Balfour

There's a joke in there somewhere

about post post offices, but I'm fecked if I can fathom it out (and nobody thinks my jokes are funny anyway).

BuzzFeed: We don't pull 'articles' due to advertiser pressure VERY OFTEN

Sarah Balfour

Re: Took a peek

It's blogging for morons, by morons - morons who don't much care for being corrected either. There was one particularly insidious article, the exact subject matter of which I cannot recall, but the crux of it was that the twat writing it was too thick to think that 'cum' could be anything other than a euphemism for 'semen', and how rude the UK was because there were "so many" towns/villages with 'cum' in them, which the brainiac deduced MUST be a misspelling of 'come', not a Latin word meaning 'with' (coz they don't teach classics anymore, and here's a prime example of why it needs to be reinstated to the curriculum forthwith).

I got banned from commenting because I pointed out what it ACTUALLY meant.

And now I've admitted to reading BF. Don't worry, I'm long cured.

NatWest and RBS' mobile banking apps go TITSUP

Sarah Balfour

I'm with NW…

…and all I can say is "Helpful bonking, my fucking arse!"

I have been locked out of my online account for over a year, probably nearer two. I'm fucking useless at, well, anything. I've forgotten my access code, NW webchat tells me I have to call their online bonking bods. I tell them I can't do that because, well, no phone. So I'm told I've to go to the local branch - can't do that either; for reasons I don't wish to elaborate upon, I'm unable to leave the house.

NW's response…? Equated to "Well you're fucked then, ain't ya…?!"

Even if there WAS someone who could help me (there isn't), they couldn't, because that's against NW's security policy; I've been told time and again that "all business must be conducted by the registered account holder only", which has made me think - what if the account holder was unable to deal with their own affairs due to dementia…? What if some jobsworth was to say to someone's son/daughter "We'd need your mum/dad's consent to authorise that…", but the parent wasn't able to consent…? I remember my uncle ending up on the verge of a nervous breakdown dealing with my nan's bonk, couldn't get them to understand the simple phrase "I'm sorry, my mother is unable to do that because she has dementia". Even a fucking quack's letter didn't get him anywhere! Even emailed photos (any idiot could tell they were mother and son - except if that idiot is in bonking. My uncle looks EXACTLY like my nan). Think he forced the manager to visit my nan in the end.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for security, but there's security and then there's absolute arsery!

So why exactly does almost ALL tech live in Silicon Valley?

Sarah Balfour

There's a joke in there somewhere about one man and his pig (iron), but I'm fecked if I can fathom it.

BOFH: Explain? All we need is this kay-sh with DDR3 Cortexiphan ...

Sarah Balfour

Re: Allocation mismatch.

Should HAVE been…

Go for a spin on Record Store Day: Lifting the lid on vinyl, CD and tape

Sarah Balfour

Re: Lust.....

My very first 'table was a Technics, still got it in the loft somewhere I think; forget the model number, but I do recall it being one of the first with a double cassette deck attached, and I do believe you could record from vinyl onto tape. Not got much of a vinyl,collection to speak of these days, though, feck knows where that's all gone, last time I was up there all I could find was my sister's Kylie & Jason shite.

Bit miffed, coz I had some decent stuff: Killing Joke, Bauhaus, The Damned, Sex Pistols, B.A.D., The Cure, Depeche Mode, Nitzer Ebb, Soft Cell, Pet Shop Boys, The Specials, The Beat, Poppies, Jesus Jones, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, The Wonder Stuff, The Shamen, Love & Rockets, Shriekback, XTC, Legendary Pink Dots, JAMC, The Beloved, The Church, Modern English, Psychedelic Furs, The Chameleons, The Farm, Alien Sex Fiend, PiL, Throbbing Gristle, Coil, Psychic TV, Sheep on Drugs, Dreadzone, KMFDM, Ministry, Skinny Puppy (didn't discover them until much later, though, ditto FLA), I MAY even have had some Portion Control, Test Dept, and Clock DVA.

Probably a fair bit I've forgotten about, I've never really done mainstream, and my tastes have become even more left-field (forgot about them, but they were a lot later, obviously), the older I've got, and bands such as TG and Psychic TV were later acquisitions as I'm not QUITE old enough to have appreciated 'em first time round as it were.

Started listening to The Sisters of Mercy and The Mission to get round the music ban at school. Nuns are VERY easily duped. Bizarrely we were able to get away with watching TOTP, until Sister Mags learnt the truth about Boy George (we'd played along with her naïveté and told her that George was short for Georgina. She never questioned the 'Boy' bit, weirdly). We never found out how she found out. Thank fuck she never knew of the existence of FYC, she'd probably have thought they were, well cannibals. She was a few wafers short of the full host, let's put it that way… but she WAS my dorm mistress, hence being able to get away with the SoM.

Spend much of my time listening to underground stations on TuneIn and Live365 these days, sadly nothing in Blighty: Technical Difficulties is run by a guy in Baltimore, and he plays, well he refers to it as "the mixtape from the monster under your bed" - it's VERY weird. Rant plays out of Delta, BC, and is primarily industrial, aggrotech, darkwave, coldwave and EBM, Dark Bites is German (and has the cutest logo of any radio station, ever) and is primarily dark synth-pop, future-pop, goth and EBM.

G'night fellow humanoids. I'm just about asleep.

US Navy's LOCUST DRONE CANNON is like death SWARMED up

Sarah Balfour
Pirate

Reading this has chilled me to the core…

…not to mention given me an intensely sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. The civilian casualties this has the potential to cause… well, it doesn't even bear thinking about (but that's why the US pioneered drone warfare - if a couple of dozen happen to wipe out a small village, or a couple drop on a primary school - well, they're not human beings, are they…? They're 'collateral damage'! And as the bombs which murdered them were remotely operated - well there's no blame, is there…? Who are the gonna point the finger at…? Cross the US and your country' will probably be next. Nobody will DARE seek help from the UN - they'll be too fucking terrified!)

The U.S. is rapidly turning into North Korea - except the U.S. WILL bomb you if it decides it doesn't like you.

Pity none of my fellow commentards seem to have even a shred of conscience.

Kia Soul EV: Nifty Korean 'leccy hatchback has heart and Seoul

Sarah Balfour
Trollface

Re: purely on looks

It is indeed the Ann Widdecombe of motor vehicles…

Sarah Balfour

Re: As an aside

I don't think it's SEEING, so much as HEARING; I'm a non-driver but, even as a pedestrian or a cyclist, it's not always easy to judge from which direction the emergency vehicle is approaching, and you're more likely to hear it before you see it. There needs to be some method by which the direction of the siren could be more precisely located. I know from being a passenger (usually with my father driving and, as I may have mentioned before, he's not the most patient of drivers) the sound seems to round the vehicle and you hear it equally both sides. This isn't, of course, an issue on single carriageways but, if you're in the centre lane on the motorway… it doesn't help that Daddy Dearest is becoming increasingly mutton (not that the stubborn old bugger would ever admit it).

If the siren could be concentrated so that the driver only hears it from the direction in which the vehicle is approaching that could, potentially, eliminate the issue - or at least greatly reduce it.

Does any of that make sense…? Today's not been a good'un, so I've been fundie-baiting on Twitter (a sport which is becoming increasingly unsatisfying) and, when you're dealing with that level of fuckwittery and fucktardery, it tends to rapidly destroy the braincells, and the imp that runs my cranial CPU has now taken strike action. I most DEFINITELY haz a stupid.

SPB brews up fetching beer + bacon t-shirt design

Sarah Balfour

Re: And people wonder why males drop dead before their females

That's total BS*! Decent bacon is a health food, along with red meat, lard, butter, cream, eggs, and just about anything and everything else the NHS says will kill ya.

If folk actually THOUGHT for a nanosecond, they'd realise what bollocks the NHS/USDA feeds them. Cholesterol (to which I assume you're referring) is absolutely ESSENTIAL for life - without it, you'd die in pretty short order - and men require more than women. Sperm is almost entirely cholesterol, every cell in your body requires it to produce cell walls, your brain needs it to produce healthy neurones (ever wonder why dementia and Alzheimer's are so prevalent these days…? Simple. The demonisation of cholesterol, and saturated fat, and the prescription of statins). Your liver produces up to 1.5g of cholesterol in 24hrs - if it was so deadly, why would it do so…?

The 'diet-heart hypothesis' is built on VERY bad science. When the cause of CHD was being researched, 'scientists' fed saturated fat and cholesterol to standard lab mammals - and what do SLMs have in common…? They're herbivorous (rats aside). Now, herbivores don't require cholesterol, so their bodies don't produce it, and they've no mechanisms for dealing with it so, basically, their arteries clog up, and they snuff it.

They also fed saturated fat and cholesterol to,the lead 'scientist's' two mutts. Mutts didn't die, they seemed to become healthier but, coz it was 2 canines vs around 2,000 rodents and lagomorphs, the former results were dismissed as anomalous.

So, that's why saturated fat and cholesterol are bad for us - coz we're bunnies, obviously.

For more info I, once again, list the following references:

Http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org - please read his book 'The Great Cholesterol Con'

Http://www.dietdoctor.com

Http://www.29billion.com

Http://www.cerealkillersmovie.com

Http://www.chriskresser.com

http://blog.cholesterol-and-health.com/ - the blog of Professor Dr. Chris Masterjohn

http://www.cholesterol-and-health.com/

I would call your comment asinine, but that'd be an insult to those lovely donkeys.

*As this article references donkeys, I was tempted to say 'jack shit', but that's got other connotations - but, I can safely say this AC knows jack shit about health and human physiology.

Dwarf planet Ceres has TEN bright spots, astroboffins say

Sarah Balfour
Unhappy

Re: Clangers

New Clangers - how very fucking DARE they…?! It's rumoured they SPEAK now, too because, obviously, today's kids have zero imagination and can't put their own words to whistles. I'm DREADING what they've done to poor Bagpuss, too!

Sarah Balfour

ODWR

…and million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

Chelsea Manning sets up low-tech Twitter account from prison

Sarah Balfour

This will probably be my last post here for a good while…

…the level of bigotry on display here is sickening. This is NOT the El Reg I joined. In any other forum, these people would have had their posts removed and been banned - evidently, El Reg is quite content to allow such pestilence.

What I've read here is bordering on hate speech which, last I checked, was a crime.

Sarah Balfour
Unhappy

Re: Dear sir or madam

Fuck off, you transphobic cunt!

It's not that someone IDENTIFIES as being the opposite sex, they ARE the opposite sex, every bit of the bits that define your gender are, in Manning's case, female. I apologise that my English isn't sufficiently proficient to,describe what I mean, but I hope you get the point.

Suggest all you fucktards go look up Laura-Jane Grace, vocalist/songwriter of punk,outfit Against Me! She didn't name her band that for no reason (when she started out, her name was Thomas).

When I joined, way back in whenever-the-fuck-it-was, I don't recall anywhere NEAR the level of bigotry and hatred there's been of late. Don't think I like what it's becoming here…

Sarah Balfour

Re: health care costs

Up-voted, even though I'm vehemently anti the NHS. The NHS as-is, that is, if we could have a nationalised healthcare service that actually gave a flying fuck about the nation's health, rather than creaming it off Big Pharma, I'd be all for it.

Don't believe me…?! How many of you are on statins…? Statins are as good at preventing CHD as a meat wetsuit is from protecting you from being attacked by ravenous sharks. Statins are the primary cause of heart disease.

Http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org. I get down-voted every time I post this, but that ain't gonna stop me.

I DO class gender reassignment as "life-saving"; I always get the impression (perhaps because I've read/heard FAR more Christian Right bullshit than is probably healthy) that transphobics view GRS as many would view cosmetic/plastic surgery, as a choice in that it's purely a lifestyle thing because they're bored of whichever sex they were born as. I can't imagine it; how can you have a relationship…? If you're a dude, but you know you're a girl - and that you're straight - what do you do…? Pretend to be gay?

I'm also no fan of the term 'gender dysphoria', as these people aren't mentally ill , you can't 'cure' these people, except with surgery and HRT.

Least these people have some hope - what of me…? I'm a non-gendered being stuck in a female body - no fucking hope for me, is there…?!

Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

Sarah Balfour

Re: Top Marks

@JC I can't fucking stand it - Daft Punk est très merde!

Got an Android mobe with a virus? Congrats, you're The One Per Cent

Sarah Balfour

Re: Google can rest easy then

Assuming you mean 1,000,000 x 1,000, yes…? That's universal standard these days. The old UK billion (i.e. a million squared) is known as a 'billiard'.

Met Police in egg/face blunder as shop-a-crim site's SSL cert expires

Sarah Balfour

I don't know whether this'll post, but…

I use an app called News360 for reading El Reg (and a few other blogs) and, when I attempted to post a comment on an article this morning, instead of the usual "your comment will be updated shortly…" banner, I was taken to a page with "Sorry, you're blocked!", in big, bold type, followed by some blurb about something called CloudFlare, a code, and my IP. Being autistic, and not understanding what the feck any of this meant, I began to rack my brain (or whatever passes for it these days) trying to figure out what on Earth I could POSSIBLY have said to get myself banned (this is literally the only forum, of those to which I've posted, from which I've yet to be excluded).

I then accessed the site via Safari, and did a test post (think it was on the Barry Obama article if memory serves, remove it) and that posted fine. I'm back reading via News360 again (hence the header). I've a screenshot of the offending page, if it'd be useful to anyone.

If I am barred from posting, it'd be good to know why, and why I've never received any communication from The Vultures' Nest (do vultures build nests…? I assume they do) as to why and, besides, you're usually allowed a couple of transgressions before the door's slammed on yer arse! Have I REALLY upset folk round here that much that I don't even merit a single warning…?! If I have, well I have, I can't help being how I am, I'd explain why, but it's too fantastic to be believable.

I'm feeling extremely low at the minute and, when I get like this, what little understanding I have of the world deserts me and, frankly, it's fucking terrifying; my grip on reality is tenuous enough when my head's functioning (well for any value of functioning, any road) but, right now…? Right now, I'm shit fucking scared of my own shadow.

If I've upset anyone, I'm GENUINELY SORRY, I won't have meant to, I NEVER mean to (unless you're a homophobic EDL-type then, yes, I most certainly DO, but I've yet to come across anyone matching that description here).

Guess, if I HAVE been banned, this won't post…

Barry Obama declares national emergency over foreign hackers

Sarah Balfour

Test post

Testing. Testing.

Belgium to the rescue as UK consumers freeze after BST blunder

Sarah Balfour

Re: Do away with BST, don't blame farmers

Or goats…or sheep…or, as I prefer, buffalo. I'd REALLY prefer reindeer - highe saturated fat content than single cream, most wonderful milk I've ever tasted. Never catch on, though, what with the NHS scaring everyone stiff with their BS about saturated fat and cholesterol… pity, because it's far healthier than any other milk due to the high fat content.

Europe could be drowned in 'worthless pop culture' thanks to EU copyright plans

Sarah Balfour

Re: "People speak different languages, the group reminded Kommissar Ansip"

Desperanto - the universal language of the EU Commission

Building a better society from the Czechs' version of Meccano

Sarah Balfour

Re: Thanks

Izal - or Jeyes - was the only bog roll my great-grandad - my dad's maternal grandad - would use and, when he went to live with my grandparents, my granny would buy nowt else, which necessitated us having a box of tissues handy at all times when we visited.

It's a horrible thing to say - and I'm ashamed of myself for even thinking it - but I was almost glad when he went!

I also recall having Izal at school - the nuns obviously wanted us to be eternally thankful that we'd been permitted bog roll at all. Cheers, Tim, for bringing back long-buried painful memories. Building's still there, but the school itself closed about 15 years ago.

Well, /most/ of it…

Coral Reefs: Secret Cities of the Sea exhibition – life beneath the waves

Sarah Balfour
Devil

Hate to be a pedant, but…

…the plural of 'octopus' is either 'octopuses', or 'octopodes', NEVER 'octopi', it's Greek, not Latin.

I KNOW I'm fighting a war I'll NEVER win, schools don't teach classics these days. Now the vernacular has been unleashed on the Web, proper Latin and Greek pluralisation is doomed - DOOMED I tells ya!

Even iOS autocorrect accepts 'octopi' - and even 'nucleuses'.

We're DOOMED! I blame the Yanks, they've NEVER given a damn about proper pluralisation - this is assimilation by stealth!

Exercising with chocolate: Festival and tours galore

Sarah Balfour

As far as I'm concerned…

…Cadbury's tastes like shit, too. Shite like that should NOT be allowed to call itself 'chocolate', true chocolate, as far as I'm concerned, is raw - hasn't been dicked about with - no heating, no dutching, no addition of any emulsifying agents, and with - or without - cacao butter.

Dutching is a process which neutralises the acidity of raw cacao (between pH 4.5 and 5.5) by treating it with an alkalising agent, and enhance its colour (dutched cocoa is a far darker shade than raw cacao powder, which looks very similar in colour to ground cinnamon). Unfortunately, this also destroys most of its flavenols and significantly reduces its nutritional value (cacao has an excellent nutritional profile and, unlike the nutrients in many other plants, they're well assimilated).

I eat a handful of raw 100% cacao drops most days, they're incredibly bitter, due to their acidity, but I like it, though most people can't stomach it.

Commercial, mass-produced 'chocolate' has given the real stuff a bad rep; I dare you to attempt the Raw Cacao Drop Challenge - raw cacao drops - can YOU stomach them…?!

Remember the genus name translates to 'food of the gods'. There are 13 species, of which 6 produce knowingly-edible fruits.

Amazon cloud threatens to SMASH the fundamental laws of PHYSICS

Sarah Balfour
Devil

"Obaque" - got a colb…?

Sarah Balfour

Re: Infinite?

Damn you! I was just about to make a similar comment. Story only showed up in my News360 feed today (I need a better reader, one that updates several times daily, and DOESN'T continually nag me to connect to unsocial media!).

Have an up-vote, anyway!

Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

Sarah Balfour

Re: M&S

I like M&S dudes' socks coz, even though I don't ascribe to either gender, I'm technically female, and the world appears to have decided that females should only wear socks in shades of brown, grey, black and white. The last pack of coloured girly socks I bought was from H&M years ago, and I wore 'em through.

The smallest M&S do is a tad big (I take a 5.5 shoe - and DON'T get me started on footwear, M&S used to be the only place I could get a 5.5, after Clark's decided to join the 'nobody has size 5.5 feet' brigade - and now THEY'VE quit, too! I've been living in the same pair of New Balance trainers for at least the past decade. I used to have the most wonderful pair of Brasher boots, too, but I lost 'em on my travels somewhere. I've tried and tried to replace 'em, but to no avail. Can't even recall the series name now - think they were Supalites, but don't quote me on that - Supalite XL or summat. They were the most comfortable things I've ever put on me plates, and they only cost me £50 (eBay bargain. BNIB, too). I've got weird feet, I NEED a 5.5; I have a rare congenital disorder known as hemihypertrophy, the right side of me is bigger than the left, and I've a displaced right hip, too. I can't wear trousers or jeans, I have to wear leggings because,obviously they stretch to accommodate the bigger leg. Bras are a nightmare, too (I'm a 28 chest, in that most of my tops are size 4, but the right side is 29 and the left is between 26/27. I've found myself wishing I could lose 'em, they're fuck all use to me and that'd be that, problem solved!).

No idea where all THAT came from. Blame @Bassey, HE got me started by mentioning socks!

Appeal court bombshell: Google must face British justice for 'Safari spying'

Sarah Balfour
Mushroom

It IS a breach of privacy…

…not to mention fucking creepy. It's almost a form of cyberstalking I don't WANT a multibillion dollar multinational looking over my virtual shoulder, breathing down my virtual neck, watching my every virtual move, ta very much!

Every mail you send

Every pound you spend

Every tag you trend

I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see…?

You've sold your soul to me

Another grand I take

With every search you make

There would have been more, but I'm whacked tonight, I can't do that sorta shit when I'm tired… especially not parody. I need the original lyrics in front of me too, to get the metre right. G'night fellow hominids…

Peace, Love and Bacon

SJ

700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

Sarah Balfour

@1980s_coder I've up-voted you, because you're intentions were admirable…

…if completely misguided. I don't know where you are but, as El Reg is in Blighty, I'll assume you are, too (yeah I know it's in the U.S. and Oz now too, but it'll always be Blightian to me!).

It's not your fault, you've been brainwashed to believe that the way to lose flab (assuming that was your aim, and I'll presume it was) is the old cals in < cals out BS. There's just one problem: a calorie isn't a calorie, not all calories are created equal, and the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics does NOT apply to human beans. Yes, 'tis true that, on yer plate, all cals are equal but, once you've consumed 'em, that's no longer the case. Shoving a load of grains down yer gizzard is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing you could ever POSSIBLY do if you desire to take your belt in a hole (or three).

Let me endeavour to explain (apologies if this gets a bit muddled, I'm not good at explaining stuff, I'm autistic). Every species has a dietary blueprint, laid down by evolution and genetics - lions eat zebra, penguins eat fish, polar bears eat seals, cows eat grass, and so on and so forth. We are 'programmed' to derive the most nutrition, and be healthiest on a certain kind of diet and, for us Homo sapiens, that's what I term carni-omnivorous, in other words, whilst we need SOME plant matter, we need more animal foods, a ratio of around 80:20 is about right.

Grains are a VERY poor source of nutrients for people, because, well we can't digest 'em, we have the guts of carnivores (carnivorous dentition, short guts, and bile. We also produce cholesterol because it's essential for life, as is saturated fat). A diet high in grains and starches is a recipe for poor health, they're Neolithic and our bodies can't digest 'em properly (if at all; without being too graphic, think what happens after you've eaten sweetcorn). The other argument in the case against grains is coeliac disease; we're all the same species and, even if you don't react so violently to gluten, you're still the same species as someone who does so, if it's not good for THEM, why would it be good for you…?

There's absolutely NO REASON for anyone to be obese; obesity is a severe food intolerance, an intolerance to eating the incorrect diet for your species. How many times have you attempted to lose weight the NHS way…? If a LFHC calorie-restricted diet was the answer, then why is the UK at its fattest, despite the average fat intake being at a record low…?

I'm not just speaking out my arse, either, I was 24 stone, and diabetic (type II diabetes has NOTHING to do with obesity, by the way, but I'll save that topic for another day; I could have weighed 8st and STILL been diabetic). I was given the usual LFHC cal restricted diet, and chronic cardio exercise plan, which I followed religiously - the result…? I lost 2st, then GAINED 8! Of course it was MY fault, mustn't blame the diet, the diet is PERFECT.

Most people won't be willing to take the risks I did, but I switched from a LFHC diet to a, yep, LCHF palaeo diet. To cut this short, I dropped from 30 stone to 7.5 in just under 3 years. I now only eat foods that I can digest fully, I DON'T skimp on the saturated fat (in fact, most of the fat I eat IS saturated, mainly in the form of butter, lard, extra virgin coconut oil and red palm oil). Most - if not all - of the red meat I eat (and I eat A LOT) I eat RAW (it's 100% grass-fed, pastured and organic). If you want to maximise your nutrition, then I highly recommend it.

Alternatively, I recommend calves' liver, fried in lard, with as many lard-fried eggs as you can eat. That's more than your daily needs of every single nutrient, right there, in a form that's 100% bioavailable.

Hippocrates said "Disease begins in the gut", in other words, what you eat determines your state of health. There's a reason CHD is on the increase - statins, coupled with a LFHC diet cause CHD. I believe that the NHS is ruled by Big Pharma; all the studies and trials to which it refers aren't independent, they're run by the drug company whose product is being trialled.

This is why I'm so against this £1 a day thing, it encourages poor nutrition, as all cheap food tends to be Neolithic.

I won't write any more, because I get the feeling I've wasted the past hour writing as much as I have but, if you care to be educated (and I hope that you, and anyone else, cares enough to be so), here's my standard useful websites list:

Http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org - no nonsense, straight-talking Scottish GP. Author of 'The Great Cholesterol Con' and 'Doctoring Data'

Http://www.dietdoctor.com - Swedish GP, advocating for better information on the benefits of a LCHF (palaeo) diet. Don't worry, it's in English!

Http://www.chriskresser.com

Http://www.cerealkillersmovie.com - learn why eating a diet high in grains will kill you. Seriously.

Http://www.29billion.com - $29bn is Big Pharma's annual profit from statins. This site is a link to a documentary called Statins: The Great Cholesterol Cover-Up.

Remember, just because the NHS TELLS you something is true, doesn't make it true - in fact, the more the NHS insists something is true, the more likely that it ain't.

Sarah Balfour

Re: diet pills

Herbalife is alive and well, check out Gumtree. I quit advertising on there because it was waist deep in Herbalife spam; and not just Herbalife, either, GCBE, green tea, raspberry ketones, algae that allegedly expands in your stomach, so you're able to subsist on nowt but water, chilli extract…

The folk selling these things - and the people to whom they're peddling - aren't, exactly, how to put this tactfully, well they're the kind of people who are easily impressed by long sciencey words (coz, well, coz SCIENCE) and a favourite con trick is calling caffeine trimethylxanthine and referring to any herbs by their scientific names, blind the gullible with sciencese, and they're more likely to pony up - and pony up far more.

Herbalife is a pyramid scheme, pedlars get a bonus for every sap they recruit, hence the reason it's been so hard to kill (I'm assuming you're over here - I get lost with who's where, can't keep up - as I believe that it's been outlawed in the US, at least in some states, though I could be quite wrong about that).

Gumtree simply wasn't interested in enforcing its own Ts&Cs, so I quit.

Bye bye, booth babes. IT security catwalk RSA nixes sexy outfits

Sarah Balfour

Being neither straight, nor gay, nor bi…

…nor male, nor female - nor - probably - human, I have absolutely no views on this subject whatsoever.

Force your hand: Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina Display

Sarah Balfour

Re: no Ethernet

At the risk of being accused of fanboiism, it's AirPort

Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

Sarah Balfour

Re: "In Finland traffic fines are proportionate to your income"

SJ likes this, too, was about to make a similar comment. Perhaps, if it was implemented here, we'd have far fewer rich dicks in Lamborghinis, Maseratis, Lotuses, or whatever the cock-extender du jour is, believing themselves to be above the law coz they know that, when they're caught, all they'll be fined is a week's 'pocket-money' and, if the worst happens, well there's always Daddy's solicitor…

Happens a fair bit where I, unfortunately, am forced to live.

Sarah Balfour

Re: France Rain Speed Limit

Speaking of twats, and having been the victim of a couple of *VERY* near misses when a car careered on to the pavement, and the twats found to be WELL in excess of the alcohol limit both times, I'm in favour of a built-in breathalyser, linked to the ignition, which would automatically disable it should it deem you to be too inebriated to drive.

I'm sure drunk-driving injures/kills FAR more than speeding.

Apple is picking off iOS antivirus apps one by one: Who'll be spared?

Sarah Balfour

Re: That's a good question

*I* most certainly DO read product/app descriptions, and I can't be the only one, quit making sweeping generalisations!

Favicons used to update world's 'most dangerous' malware

Sarah Balfour

Darren Pauli, see me after class!

"You'll know YOUR infected…"

Darren, please correct the above, and then write it 1,000 times in your lunch break. Well, that's what used to happen when I was at school, basic spelling and grammar errors were an instant detention.

Reg, sack yer sub-ed - oh, wait, you don't HAVE, a sub-ed, do ya…? Well off with yer ed, then!

Review: McAfee Endpoint Protection for SMB

Sarah Balfour
Mushroom

Permission to ask a COMPLETELY off-topic question…?

Buggrit, I'm gonna anyway. :oP

Is there any reason - sane or otherwise - why gadgetry cables are round, as opposed to flat…? The cable that accompanied my Belkin Ultra Fast has ruptured at the dock end - and it must be at LEAST the 100th-odd cable I've had break like that in my years of iThing ownership (my first Touch was a 4G, so not all that long in the scale of things) - and I'm far from the only one, Amazon, the fruity firm's fora, MacFixit, Mac Rumours, and just about every other Apple-specific, and non-Apple-specific, gadgetry site and forum that I've come across are littered with scores of people moaning about cables lasting a fortnight - or less, I think the the record is around 6 weeks.

I'm guessing it must have something to do with flat cables costing more to manufacture, therefore reducing profit margins but, then again, telephony cables are, as a general rule, flat, and you get several bundled with a new router - are they cheaper to produce…?

It just seems to me that round is the stupidest design on Earth, and that the cable with break in pretty short order no matter HOW careful you are with it, due to the small surface area concentrating the applied stress on a single point.

Would it be too cynical of me to think they deliberately make 'em shite to shift more…? I can believe that of an OEM - particularly one like Apple - but it's not just Apple cables I've had break. Is it only cables for iThings that are this shit - how about Android…? Can't afford to keep wasting bread I ain't really got on cables!

Swedish city demands £40,000 to repair teenage hacking spree

Sarah Balfour

He's probably thinking the exact same thing in hindsight…

…it's either teenage naïveté - or greed (in that he thought that, by not hiding his identity, he'd be hailed a hero and a massive reward would be his).

Although I will concede that not ALL teenagers are money-grabbing shits, just most… ;OD I have to say my image of Sweden is changing rapidly.

Mature mainframe madness prints Mandlebrot fractal in TWELVE MINUTES

Sarah Balfour

Re: Dot matrix? Pah!

@Pen-y-gors The national anthem…?! Pah! Kids stuff! Prepare to have your mind blown…

https://youtu.be/u8I6qt_Z0Cg

Krauts are Krazy - and I wanna know how they do it! Check out the rest of their channel, too, their latest 'release' is the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? theme.

If that link doesn't work, search YT for 'MIDI Desaster'.

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