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* Posts by Sarah Balfour

35 posts • joined 14 Apr 2007

Broadband Secretary of SHEEP sensationally quits Cabinet

Sarah Balfour

It WASN'T £45k she nicked…

That was simply the amount she was originally ordered to repay. The actual FRAUD was closer to £100k. She's actually been allowed to keep £49,200 but, with her £20k or so handshake, we actually GAVE her another £14,200 - it's WIN, WIN, WIN! Oh and let's not forget the profit she made on the sale of her 2nd home (the one we - well not ME, I'm a filthy workshy scrounger, me - paid her mortgage on). The property sold for £1.2m, I forget what she made on the deal, but it was quite substantial. She even transferred ownership of that property to avoid CGT.

Osbourne is guilty of doing EXACTLY the same; he transferred the mortgage on his 2nd property to an outfit owned - or partially owned, at least - by an old chum, who gave him a stupidly-low rate of something like 1.5 or 2%. He's also defrauded the taxpayer of a similar amount but, in Gidiot's case, he can legitimately plead stupidity as he's never passed a maths exam in his LIFE!

I actually favour Trial by Gunge; Graham Norton's tipping red chair, one of Edmonds's gunge tanks and a panel of taxpayers. MP forced into chair and obliged to disclose everything for which they want to claim. Selected taxpayer pushes a remote button, MP falls backwards into gunge tank. I figure that, once they've had a few Savile Row suits and Jermyn Street shirts ruined - or wherever the females get their togs (I bet you anything it won't be M&S!) it'll learn 'em…

Of course the taxpayer probably paid for those in the first place - but at least it'll act as a deterrent to prevent claims for any MORE (same goes for under-crackers, IDS…).

The new 'culture and equalities' incumbent is Sajid Javid; he thinks that ticket-touts are "opportunistic entrepreneurs" and he voted AGAINST the Equal Marriage Bill. He's also another Tory Boy, declaring himself a fan of The Maggot before he was out of primary school!

In other news, Cameron now believes he's Jesus, claiming that his 'Big Society' BS was directly inspired by JC…

All together now… "He's NOT the messiah, he's a VERY naughty boy!"

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Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Sarah Balfour

Operation Greendale

Pat fights to keep himself in a job, whilst simultaneously fighting to keep the Greendale PO open in the wake of savage govt cuts… and saving Ted from being put out to pasture by savage cuts to EU subsidies and Tesco price cuts.

A Red Dwarf adventure game would be good. Or how's about one of those promotion-type sims based at the Daily Mail…? You're awarded points for outrageous celeb paps, totally fabricated stories, all the while trying to keep from being sued. Or you're Clarkson, attempting to get away with offending as many types of people as possible, without landing the Beeb with - yet another (multi) million-quid lawsuit and, therefore keeping your job.

Brain isn't functioning today, so I'm not able to come up with much…

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Whitehall and Microsoft thrashing out 1-year NHS WinXP lifeline

Sarah Balfour

Re: Funding

Taking the HS out of it too, would be an excellent idea - the NHS doesn't give a flying fuck about your health. Okay, if you're hurt in an accident, then fine, but on a general, day-to-day basis…? It's just the UK sales and distribution arm of Big Pharma Worldwide, plc. Your GP is nowt more than a sales rep, need students are STILL being taught myths which were thoroughly debunked, discredited and exploded in the early/mid-'80s, as fact, and the NHS REFUSES to alter its dietary policy, despite OVERWHELMING evidence that it's WRONG.

I'm sorry, but the NHS is NOT a 'health service'; it MAY have been at some point, but it sure as hell ain't now.

If there's anyone here on statins, you'll want to read this: - http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org. Still think avoiding fat is healthy…? Read this: - http://www.dietdoctor.com/FAQ.

I don't trust the NHS anymore. Neither should you…

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NSA's TURBINE robot can pump 'malware into MILLIONS of PCs'

Sarah Balfour

Re: I invite the US and the other 5 eyes partners...

Nah, 6 - Babes (blokes), Beaches, Booze, Beer, Bacon and a Bong (or several) - can't do without my MJ! I

Actually, scratch that, just gimme a beach, a BBQ, Bacon and the Bong(s). Oh wait a BoomBox too, this party needs tunes, right…?!

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Sarah Balfour

Re: I invite the US and the other 5 eyes partners...

Nah, 6 - Babes (blokes), Beaches, Booze, Beer, Bacon and Blunts - can't do without my MJ! I

Actually, scratch that, just gimme a beach, a BBQ, Bacon and the Blunts. Oh wait a BoomBox too, this party needs tunes, right…?!

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Five unbelievable headlines that claim Tim Berners-Lee 'INVENTED the INTERNET'

Sarah Balfour

Re: www = internet

No, usually, at least from the techy-support stuff I've done it's "MY Internet's down"; what, you have your own personal Internet now…?! This article validates my pedantry; the number of times I've corrected folk and got "Same thing, innit…?!" I've tried to analogise by saying that calling the WWW 'the Internet' is like calling Windows 'your computer', but they NEVER seem to get it… You'd have thought that, with most of 'em being able to recall a time prior to the WWW's existence, they'd be a little more savvy. My father's been working in tech on-and-off for much of his working life (though never in a 'techy' capacity (he's an accountant by training, and did a lot of work for Sinclair and Prism (the software arm of Sinclair Ltd, for those who don't know, and it's why our loft is an homage to early-mid '80s tech) and I know at least one of the companies he worked for used a BBS (this was back in the days before BBS came to stand for 'Boobs, Beavers and Sex'. Remember all those '0898' premium-rate BBSs that used to be advertised in the classified sections of some computer mags…? I SWEAR I've some old Amiga Actions somewhere with ads for 'PornHub' boards…

"All Your Internet Are Belong To Us"

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Actually, there is an Arapaho word for 'pliers'

Sarah Balfour

Re: Is there an Arapaho word for this?

I'm sure Mr. Prattchett must have coined one; and, if he hasn't, he'll probably do so soon (Alzheimer's permitting…)

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Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

Sarah Balfour

My Spotify recommendations can be a bit, er, 'left field', too…

The best was being recommended Infected Mushroom because I'd told 'em I'd listened to Dropkick Murphys… Infected Mushroom, for the uninitiated, are an Israeli trance outfit (and, yes, I do happen to rather like 'em, but from Dropkick Murphys…?!). And can anyone make ANY connection what-so-fecking-EVER between Inspiral Carpets, Terrorvision, and The Undertones…?!

But what REALLY irks me about Spotify is its gig recommendations. This is the best so far: - "You listened to Inspiral Carpets. Want to see a gig near you…?" Why thank you, Spotify, I might just as it goes… So what do I see when I tap the link…?! Manchester, Sheffield, Newcastle, Glasgow and Liverpool. Same for Half Man Half Biscuit, Five Finger Death Punch, Paul Heaton, Ziggy Marley and Pop Will Eat Itself (I'm nothing if not eclectic, me!). My Spotify settings are set to London, my Songkick settings are set to London - SO WTF AM I ONLY GETTING LISTINGS FOR THE NORTH…?!

As far as depressing spam goes, I'm currently receiving offers for discounted over-50s life insurance, retirement living and SAGA Holidays ('ere, Dabbsy! Think I'm getting yer spam, matey! ;oD). I'm barely 40 (okay, perhaps I'm a LITTLE 40…). What's next…? June Whitfield trying to sell me cover for funeral costs…?!

Okay, rant over…

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Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?

Sarah Balfour

Re: Great headline! re: prices

Okay, I can sort of see your point, but that doesn't translate to behemoths like Tesco over here (and Wal-Mart in the US).

We got a Tesco Extra here a few years ago (no fucker wanted it, but Tezza bunged Prezza a few squillion and we got it anyway - you may recall a news item regarding a railway bridge collapse in a small town in the Home Counties about 9 years ago - THAT was because the fucktards building the tunnel over the line decides to make the fecking thing SQUARE; now, I'm no civil engineer (I'm neither civil, nor an engineer ;oD) but even *I* know that a 'squared-off' arch is inherently weaker than an arced arch. Obviously the firm doing the engineering - whose name escapes me now - had failed Civil Engineering 101; they built the tunnel, dumped several megatonnes of asphalt on top - and then looked shocked when the whole thing collapsed faster than Berings Bank! It was mere minutes after the 18:05 from Brum to London had shot through - the vibration from the train was probably the straw that broke the concrete camel's back).

So, unless I'm being extremely dense (and the old grey matter ain't functioning at the mo - think I've got 'blancmange brain' again, dammit!) we got Tesco and the family-run supermarket, bakery, and deli effectively went out of business (they've only really been salvaged by a link-up with Sainsbury's). Sharks will always swallow up minnows, because they've got the buying power (and they also rip their producers off; Tesco's just slashed the price of their milk from 35p a pint to 25p (in a 4pt canister) They claim this won't affect how much their farmers are paid - I call BS). In these straitened economic times, NOBODY is going to pay the 'Mum & Dad' store 45p a pint, when they can nip over the road and save 20p. The only times small concerns win out are if it's an obscure item (though Tesco are beginning to cater for the 'Tory-class' palette, stocking as they do quail, woodpigeon, grouse and pheasant, as well as venison, buffalo, boar and ostrich (I shit you not!). They DID backpedal rather rapidly on the foie gras, thankfully) or the big store's shut. Likewise, people will only pay higher high-street prices if they absolutely MUST have whatever it is *NOW*.

Captive audience is another reason. If it'll cost more I'm petrol to go to the big Tesco out of town, which would, obviously, negate any savings made, then small local stores will survive.

And, of course, this is all made all the more true by the fact we've a Tory govt.

Apologies if I've missed the point, but I don't see how charging MORE makes good business acumen especially in the current economic climate. People don't have the money, so they'll find whatever they require at the cheapest price possible, therefore bricks and mortar are going to lose out to the 'net. Our kids will be showing their grandkids nostalgic photos of high-streets. Kids these days don't know the pleasure of popping to the corner shop for a Double-Dip, quarter of penny chews, an Aztec bar (showing my age now, ain't I…?) and the latest Smash Hits - and still having pocket-money left. It was flying saucers for me; where I used to live, we had posh ones - 2-tone saucers with FLAVOURED sherbet. Don't make 'em like THAT anymore. They were probably full of 'prohibited substances', but they never did US any harm… and if you were still young enough to be losing teeth, well a Wham! Bar would get it under yer piller that night, no worries…

Okay, I'll shrrup now, I'm taking this WAY off-topic (again!). Apologies, once again, if it makes feck-all sense…

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My name is Dabbsy and I am an EMAILOHOLIC

Sarah Balfour

Re: Quality, not Quantity

"Alumni account"...?! My gods, how many are there of you, man...?! ;oD

I'm assuming only one, in which case, it's 'alumnus' (or if you're female (and I'm 99.9% certain from the way you write, you're not) 'alumna'. Feminine plural..? 'Alumnae').

Ain't Latin a bitch...?!

All together now...

Latin is a language

Dead as dead can be...

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Bizarre Tolkien-inspired GCHQ Xmas card CAN'T BE READ by us PLEBS

Sarah Balfour

Okay, think I'm gonna be pleading - or should that be bleedin' - thick...

WTF DOES the '7' mean, cos this 'ere numpty cannae work it out, either (in her defence, she IS very Moby at the mo - not to mention Jacobed - and it's rather affecting her noggin...).

I won't attempt any 'funnies', cos nobody appears to find my funnies funny anyway... No point in trying if nobody gets 'em, is there (think it's the autism; what's funny to me, obviously isn't to the average - or even non-average - neuro-typical bod...).

Oh yeah and a stripy mint-flavoured ovine to the lot of yas!

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Inside Steve Ballmer’s fondleslab rear-guard action

Sarah Balfour

FONDLE SLAB...?!

WTF came up with THAT...?! Maybe it's my autistic brain but, the first thing that entered my head when I saw it was that it sounds like some kinda device from a VERY dodgy, early-'80s underground porn film. Probably Swedish.

And now we have 'fondlegroups' which sound to me like a kind of rather polite swingers' nights for middle-class, upper-middle-aged folk who've been out the game for a while and need a gentle reintroduction to the delights of sexual intimacy.

But, like I said, I'm autistic, and I don't do lateral thinking, too linear; I like to think of my mind/brain as some kind of neurological TARDIS, reaching out far beyond the confines of my skull.

Oh, and I think the hamster does acid...

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BOFH: It's DANGEROUS to go alone. Take THIS

Sarah Balfour

I'm trying to quit the nic habit, too, only no-one can tell me how to quit 20+ pieces of Icy White a day. I've managed to cut down from 4mg to 2, but Nicorette don't do a 1mg, so I'm a bit stuck...

Advice, as always, would be appreciated (on the plus side, gum IS quite a bit cheaper than fags - I can get a 105 box for £10 if I search. Tesco used to do it for £8, but you won't catch me shopping in THERE anymore, unless I'm REALLY desperate).

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DVLA declares J14 HAD on BU14 SHT and SL14 AGS

Sarah Balfour

Re: WTF is wrong with the word AL14LAH?

Simple. They're obviously members of the EDL.

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Sarah Balfour

Re: What a load of sh11 tee

That'd be 'criterion' - criteria is plural.

Yes, I'm a pedant. GFY! ;oP

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Sarah Balfour

Re: History

One of my mum's late friends had that as her number for years; she didn't mean it to be offensive - it was supposed to be 'Peni's' but, obviously, you can't have punctuation on plates.

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Sarah Balfour

Re: Not so obvious

HU63 NOB...? SOMEONE ought to buy that and secretly affix it to Bojo's motor... I don't get 'BU14 SHT; I'm assuming it's 'bullshit' but, surely, 'BU11 SHT' makes more sense...? You can't have OM6 WTF, either.

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RIP Comet ISON: ???-2013. We hardly knew ye

Sarah Balfour

Re: Please!!! Won't somebody think of the children?

Fuck "eventuate", what irritates ME more is the continual use of 'it's' when 'its' is what's meant...

Anyway, what's wrong with 'eventuate'...? Why use an easily understood word and miss out on the chance to dazzle - and confound - folk with your vocabulary...?! I rarely miss an opportunity meself - confuzzling folks is FUN!

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Swollen Reg reader recounts FALSE WIDOW spider HORROR

Sarah Balfour

Re: Well

Surprised no one's punted this out already - mosquitoes don't sting, they bite and, depending where you are in the world, you're probably more likely to have midges, rather than mosquitoes, as the latter tend to favour tropical climes - we don't, to the best of my knowledge, have mosquitoes here in Blighty.

A sting is associated with a creature with venom which, obviously, comes from somewhere other than its mouth; mossies and midges don't have mouths. The reaction is caused by histamines attacking the protein used to prevent coagulation.

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Sarah Balfour

Re: That's not a false widow.

You're right in saying it's not a false widow, but "bog-standard" spiders can give you quite a nasty nip, too - I've been bitten twice; their venom must be similar to a wasp's sting because I suffered a similar reaction - my hand (on the first occasion - I was attempting to coerce one out the bathroom window with the usual glass-and-card 'trap' when it crawled up my hand - my right hand (and I'm right-handed; I used to be left-handed when I was little, but the nuns at school forced me to use my right because, obviously, the left hand is the "devil's hand". I always thought this odd because we were also told, several times a day, that "the devil makes work for idle hands" and, if he favours the left over the right - because god controls the right hand - wouldn't it make sense to keep the left occupied...? Or did they think we might write satanic verses...?) which swelled up to at least 3 times its usual size and referred me unable to write with it for over a month (my left-hand has improved, but I'm by no means ambidextrous yet...). The second time was my left hand as I put my hand on it as I was adjusting the temperature of the showerhead - and I'll tell ya summat - it fucking HURTS!

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Three Men in a Tardis

Sarah Balfour

Re: Colour me impressed

But NOT the correct possessive of HG Wells's surname, so she's back to zero.

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MANUAL STIMULATION: Whack me with some proper documentation

Sarah Balfour

Y'know what REALLY grinds my gears...?!

Automated spam blacklists! I tried to register for a forum the other day, only to have my registration denied because "your email and/or IP address have recently been used for spamming activity" or words to that effect. Now, I don't have access to a computer, I only have an iPod; nobody uses this iPod but me. It's unlikely anyone else would be using the address with which I attempted to register as it's an address I keep solely for the purpose of fora registrations and, being autistic, I don't tend to register for many fora.

So I emailed the forum owner and his response was basically "Tough shit - fuck off!" (Recently apparently means within the last 30 days).

Whilst I do, obviously, acknowledge that fora owners need a way of combatting spam, I DO think there MUST be a better way than assuming everyone's guilty and then forcing them to prove their innocence!

The forum in question was hosted by vBulletin, so I'm going to assume that all vBulletin fora are the same and avoid 'em all! I'm autistic (I got the "tough shit - fuck off!" response when I pointed this out to him and said that the instructions for jumping through the hoops I had to jump through to prove my 'worthiness' might as well have been written in some bizarre African tribal language for all the sense they made to me!)

I can't even leave the house at the moment - and haven't been able to do so for over 2 years - NOBODY is using this email/IP but me!

I DON'T much care for the insinuation, Mr. Up-Your-Own-Fucking-Arse-Admin!

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PlayStation daddy on new PS4: She's ALL 'PLAY', NO 'Station' this time

Sarah Balfour

Re: The PS3 was and still is a top-notch product

They work best with salt and vinegar, I find...

Look, I'm stuck in bed feeling shite. You're not gonna get witty erudite and urbane comments from me tonight, chaps...

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Thought you didn't need to show ID in the UK? Wrong

Sarah Balfour

Re: Some rules do need to be tightened

The only ID the 9/11 'hijackers' required was from the Pentagon. I CANNOT BELIEVE there's someone erudite enough to read El Reg who STILL believes that 9/11 was anything other than an inside job designed to garner support for the illegal Iraqi invasion.

And here was I thinking I was amongst like-minded erudite, urbane and sociopolitically aware entities... Looks like I may have to revise that opinion.

As for ID, I have none; I have a disability which precludes me from holding a driving licence, and I can't afford a new passport (where they think a disabled person who, by accident of misfortune, happens to be stuck in probably one of - if not THE - most expensive area in the entire country - is going to find £200+ I've no fecking idea! My financial situation is somewhat precarious; I stand to lose more than 50% of what they currently permit me because, when they introduce PIP (personal 'independence' payment - which is a total farce as many disability charities and organisations reckon that less than 0.1% of those currently in receipt of DLA will qualify! 'Independence payment', my arse!)).

Even if I COULD afford a new passport, I'm not sure I'd apply for one as, the way this country is rapidly becoming a 21st century version of '30s Germany applying would probably be an extremely invasive experience (full cavity searches I shouldn't wonder!).

Call me paranoid if you will, but we all know this ain't a democracy (it's not even pretending anymore!).

This will only begin to resemble summat like a democracy when we get shot of those parasitic inbreds! A 'democratic monarchist state' is an oxymoron.

Okay, rant over. Hopefully, you're all used to me and my Opinions by now... XXX <3

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BETHLEHEM-grade SUPERNOVA possible 'within 50 years'

Sarah Balfour

Re: @john deeb No three & no kings

At the risk of being jumped-upon, can we start using 'BCE/CE', rather than 'BC/AD', as the latter does rather indicate some belief in the aforesaid events occurring and, as others have already said, the NT is really just as much a collection of allegories as the old.

And, if I recall my RE lessons at my ultra-strict convent minor public school (to which I DESPISE my parents for sending me) correctly, isn't the actual birth (all the sold out B&Bs, mangers, donkeys, et al) only mentioned in one gospel (Matthew's if memory serves). Surely if there was any truth in it, at least one of the other 3 ought to have made at least a passing reference....?

I know they were written decades, probably even centuries, apart but, surely an event so momentous ought to get at least ONE other mention...

I'll sit - well lie - back and wait for the downvotes to come a-rolling in...

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Sarah Balfour

Re: It'll be cloudy, overcast, and foggy that day

Ain't that the feckin' TRUTH...?! I live in S. Bucks, and I've seen one meteor shower in about 15 years or so. I do recall the skies obliging for Hale-Bopp though, and even for the last total solar eclipse visible from the UK (when was that - about 10 years or so ago...?). Seen several lunar eclipses, but probably only cos they occur more frequently. It's fairly light-pollution free here but, obviously not as much as when I was back in the home territory (Yorkshire) and had access to The Moors; I WISH I'd had a 'scope and a decent camera back then, but I was skint (still am, even more so now).

But meteor showers...? Not a single sausage. Or meteor.

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

Sarah Balfour

Looks like some respondents forgot to evolve a sense of humour...

This has GOT TO BE one of the - if not THE - funniest response threads I've read in my - at least 8 years - of lurking (and occasionally responding) here. I sincerely hope the respondent who called Godwin's was being sarcastic/ironic; if not, feck off and don't return until ya've developed a sense of humour!

For a brief moment, I was overwhelmed by the Green-Eyed Monster, and considered down-voting every single one, cos I wish I'D thought of it! - but I couldn't! Sheer comedy GENIUS!

Hey, Reg! Ever thought of collating some of these into a book, á la New Scientist's Last Word pages...? I'd buy it (and I strongly suspect I'd not be the only one...).

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Sarah Balfour

Re: How friggin awesome is evolution!

What about them owls wot live in cacti...? Thought they were native to AZ and TX - or am I imagining things again...?! Maybe I should quit posting when Jacobed - but then I'd not post at all (shut it! I can read the collective mind of Reg regulars, y'know...).

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Vulture 2 paintjob: Four-year-old nipper triumphs

Sarah Balfour

Hmm...

Far be it from me to suggest impropriety - or cast nasturtiums (as my mum's late dad used to say) but isn't Stelios derived from the Greek for 'star' and wasn't there a Saturn mission called Ariadne...?

Or am I being overly-cynical again...?

Oh and whilst I'm at it - Reg, could ya PLEASE make the site mobile-friendly...? All I have in an iPod and, being autistic, I'm not blessed with a very long fuse, and it's beginning to tick me off.

I'd be here posting shi... I, er mean, "erudite and urbane witticisms formed from my unique viewpoint" more often if that was the case...

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Torrent site isoHunt to close

Sarah Balfour

What the US govt seem to conveniently forget, however, is that many in the entertainment industry - particularly in the record side of things - actually SUPPORT so-called "illegal" sharing.

One example I can think of off the top of my head, is 'Fat Mike' Burkett, vocalist of the punk outfit NOFX and founder of Fat Wreck Chords. I don't know what the situation between him and the RIAA is at the mo, but he used to spend much of his time having FWC's name REMOVED from its books, only to find it readded in another guise ('Fat Records', 'Phat Records', etc). He's even taken the RIAA to court - and won - only to ding the C&D lasts for around a month or so before they're at it again!

He's issued several clear statements to the effect that FWC SUPPORTS file-sharing, as it's in-keeping with the punk ethos and exposes their artists' stuff to more people. He's even paid the court costs, fines and other associated fees of people convicted of 'illegal' downloading.

As as been already alluded to, piracy isn't killing music, the RIAA is killing music. I have limited resources, so I don't tend to buy albums anymore (not that I download them, I have Spotify) I'd rather pay for a gig ticket because most bands make feck-all from LP sales, it's touring that feeds and clothes 'em. Most of the bands I REALLY love most won't have heard of, which means that this disabled, workshy, scrounging, skiving pleb can afford to go see 'em.

Trouble with Spotify (and Pandora in the US) is that they DON'T pay artists properly, which is shooting themselves in the head, never mind the foot, as artists will soon withdraw their catalogues and then Spotify, Pandora et al will have feck-all to play! They receive something like 0.001c per play, so it's hardly a great revenue source.

Of course you've bands who think the mere mention of their name means they can charge a grand a ticket (not mentioning any names here, Mick, Ronnie, Keef). I saw tickets for Rod's last tour going (on ticket agent sites, not 3rd-party resellers, such as Viagogo) for £400 for the 'cheap' seats - and now that Macca has a new album out...

One day maybe the RIAA will ask the people it claims to represent before it starts stomping all over fans. Unless you know how the recording industry functions, there'll be a tendency to believe it's the BAND being an arse and, in 99.9% of cases, it never is, because most bands ain't greedy (unlike the 'One-Foot-In-The-Grave-Stones').

Okay, rant over, but I'm siding with Fong on this one...

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Facebook RIPS away your veil of privacy, declares NO MORE HIDING

Sarah Balfour

Lucky you! SOME of us don't have that luxury - I don't have ANY friends at all! I don't have the first fucking CLUE what people ARE, and much less how to interact with them. No idea at all. Apparently I'm autistic, but even other autistic people are an enigma to me - and I to them.

I honestly, truthfully believe that I am different from every single other person on Earth; there isn't a single other person on this planet who'd understand me, and who I would understand. I VERY much doubt there EVER has been - or EVER will be.

Okay, you can ring the nearest nuthouse now...

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Sarah Balfour
Unhappy

Wish I could!

Whilst I'd LOVE to be able to tell Fuckerberg to 'Zuck my dick' (metaphorically, obviously!) as a severely autistic person suffering from a chronic illness, it's simply not possible. FB and Twatter really ARE my only connections with the rest of the human race at the mo (as much as I LOATHE social networking of ANY kind, as I don't possess the social and interpersonal skills necessary, I'm forever accidentally offending and/or annoying people to the point where they block me - not their fault, and not mine, I was kept in solitary confinement (yes, really!) by the nuns at the minor public convent school to which my parents insisted on sending me, because public school is just what we do in this family. I was 'the devil's daughter' according to Attila The Nun (head) and she pulled me out of the dinner queue when I was around 5/6 and announced to the entire (pre)prep that they'd "burn in hell" if they had any contact with me as I was "evil" and I'd "corrupt" them! Maybe there were decent nuns around in the '70s/'80s, but I never met any of 'em!). I wasn't allowed contact with anyone until I entered the upper school at 11, by which time the damage had been done. That school DESTROYED me! I begged and begged to leave, but I wasn't allowed (I blame Dad's mother for that - she thought she was the queen (to this day, I'm the only one in this family who is staunchly republican - my sister ripped me to shreds last summer when I refused to attend any jubilee bollox!)).

So I'm a sitting duck for the NSA (and whatever the Nazis are doing over here). I go through periods of not using it (enforced isolation because I'm trying to prevent myself putting pressure on people. I can't help it when I DESPERATELY NEED someone on my side - I end up putting so much pressure on them I drive them away. I can't help it, I KNOW it's not normal, but that doesn't mean I can stop it from happening. Right now, I need someone who can help me get my health back, because the NHS is refusing me treatment because *I* refuse to take bad advice (and it's not only BAD advice, it's advice that will exacerbate my health issues and give me others to cope with on top!). It's been over 2 years and I'm stuck in bed becoming weaker and weaker as the days go by - worse still, I'm living with my parents who seem to be content to let me suffer). Support here for people like me is non-existent, it ALL ceases once you hit 18.

Sorry, I'm ranting, it happens (a lot!). That's why I read here and rarely - if ever - comment. Apologies if I've offended anyone. :*o( <3

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Polish builder sacked for humping hoover

Sarah Balfour
IT Angle

Other generic trademarks (I'll make wittcisms later)

Jacuzzi

Velcro

Post-It

Though, if I'm honest, I'm only certain about Jacuzzi, but 'Velcro' has come to mean any hook-and-loop fastener and don't we all call non 3M sticky-notes Post-Its?

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Danes 'prove' sudden iBook death syndrome

Sarah Balfour

Not just G4 iBooks

I know of someone who has a similar issue with her G3 (the USB model, not the Clamshell). It now contains a piece of beer mat to hold the graphics chip in place.

I take it then, Daniel, that you're a 'doze user. I can tell you that, as a Mac user of many years standing that, despite its flaws (which aren't that many if you're honest) the OS is light years ahead of anything Billy's released in the past 25 years.

Having said that, I am typing this on a MacBook Pro, booted into 'doze, because my the modem half of my DG834G quit four days ago and I ordered a Belkin N1 as replacement - except I ordered the sodding router without the sodding modem! I'm using the 'flatfish' that was supplied when I was with Freeserve yonks ago. It's quit on me a dozen times this morning, and I can't use it under Tigger, because there are no Tigger drivers! GAH!

How do you know how shiny his 'kit' is...Are you that well acquainted...? (sorry, I'm bored and am clutching at any double entendre I can find, however dubious...)

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Plants may be red and yellow in galactic boonies

Sarah Balfour

A science pedant speaks

If we're being strictly scientific here (and, as this is a scientific article, I think we are) black isn't a colour. Neither, for that matter, is white. The former is the absorption (or absence) of colour and the latter is produced by the reflection of all visible colour waves.

Grey - well that's a bit of a grey area...

Sarah

(who only did Physics as far as O Level)

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