140 posts • joined 14 Apr 2007
spoken like someone who knows fuck all about UC
UC was Idiot Dickhead Shit's crackpot idea to pay us disabled less money. He believed that, if we got it all as one payment, it'd seem like we had loadsamoney because he thinks we're all stupid, and completely incapable of realising that the lump sum equated to <33% LESS than what all our entitlements would have toted up to individually.
Oh and don't buy into the myth that IDS is skint, he's got a bit, he's just too tight to use it.
He claimed over £6k for Flash All-Purpose wipes between September and December last year - that's 360k wipes worth. Except it isn't, because he was charging the taxpayer up to £20 a wipe. I obtained his expenses under the FoIA.
Lizard is the southwestern most point of Britain…
Really…? You Scilly boy!
My mum's dad worked for Marconi Wireless, shame he moved into oil after that (worked for Vickers from - actually I don't know when - but he didn't retire properly until he was over 80).
It's impossible for foreigners to win noble prizes; to get gonged, you have to be born British (I think). Did you, in fact, mean Nobel…?
Re: I think I may have family involved
Parents doesn't require an apostrophe, neither…
Not as bonkers as the amount the taxpayer forks out to keep Betty and her inbred parasitic, racist, xenophobic, paedophilic, fascist (and that's just Phil and Chaz!) family. Betty gets more than £1m A WEEK, fuck knows about the rest of the cunts.
Yes, I agree, Premier League wages ARE insane - but at least the taxpayer isn't paying 'em.
Vive La Révolution! Vive La République!
Re: Apple builds crap computers designed to fail after just a couple of years
I'm sorry, I can't accept that. I've a Mac Plus still in perfect working order, although I WILL accept that they've not been AS reliable since the switch from PPC (although I do still have an early Intel MP that works, but it's got 3 rather tiny HDDs).
Re: Perhaps I could try sheep farming instead. It’s got to be easier than this.
I reckon he's had the wool pulled over his eyes been fleeced enough. Pig farming's quite lucrative I hear, you'll always be the one bringing home the bacon. Dairy…? Sorry, I'm milking it now…
Pike…? Pun not intended, eh…?
Re: "I believe that the long-term future of the human race must be space"
Couldn't be more apt - why…? Say 'Endemol' slowly and what does it sound like…? (You'll need to adjust the syllable-stress slightly).
Re: Monkies in tin cans.
"Monkies"…?! How do you spell the singular of that…?!
Nah, the Moon's full of soup - everyone of my generation knows that!
Re: Clever chap!
How many yer had…?!
Re: many famous scientists ... start to pontificate outside
The plural of genius is only genii when using it in its original Romantic sense (guardian spirits).
G'on then, do yer worst, yer downvotes can't hurt me!
Fer feck's sake Reg!
Gerrit sor'ed! I had BOFH and Dabbsy bookmarked, and then they both vamoosed - was beginning to worry that Dabbsy'd been collared by GCHQ. I've now found him by accident twice, and I usually end up reading him about a week late.
I don't take to change well. I don't take to owt well, as it goes.
Re: Not only are they tasteless...
EVERYTHING'S smaller than it was 30 years ago - and thinner; like a lot of chocolate on yer biscuit (is it just me, or doe that somehow sound really filthy written down…?), tough! I don't eat 'em anymore, but Dad does - and you can see the biscuit through whatever it is that Jacob's pass off as chocolate!
Mum used to buy Picnics all the time as a kid - she came over all nostalgic t'other day, and bought one; it was about 3mm thick, with one - I kid you not, ONE - solitary peanut!
Bring back Aztec bars! And Texans! And Secrets!
I only eat raw chocolate these days, the less stuff's been buggered about, the better… I'm munching on a trail mix made with 100% raw Ecuadorian cacao drops, macadamias, coconut shavings, and a few goji and golden Inca berries.
I eat most of my food raw, cooking decreases the nutrition.
Re: What if the earth had legs?
Technically, the turtle has none - it has flippers (or whatever you want to call 'em).
Yes, and the NHS ALSO says that saturated fat and cholesterol cause CVD/CHD, eating fat makes you fat, grains and starches are healthy, calories in > calories out = weight loss. A low-fat/high-carb, calorie-restricted diet = weight loss, eating a high fat diet causes gallstones, eating red meat will kill you… I'm struggling, really STRUGGLING, to think of of a single NHS proclamation containing the tiniest grain of truth - nope, aren't any.
Wanna know why this country is fat and sick…? The NHS is the reason this country is fat and sick. If you wanna remain relatively healthy, simply do the exact opposite of what the NHS tells you, especially when it comes to diet. According to NHS Choices, everything we've been eating since the dawn of man (red meat, saturated fat, cholesterol, etc.) is suddenly gonna kill us and, everything we've only been cultivating for a mere 10k years or so is a health food! The evidence for the bullshit is out there if you look, I'll give you some starter pages:
Http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org (ex-NHS GP, hounded out of the NHS for telling the truth about saturated fat, cholesterol, statins and CVD/CHD. The 'diet-heart hypothesis' was debunked in the late 70s, yet kids attending med school today are STILL taught it as though it was fact. Dr. Kendrick is also an advocate for a low-carb/high-fat palaeo-style diet. Author of 'The Great Cholesterol Con')
Http://www.dietdoctor.com/faq (blog of Dr. Andreas Eenfeldt, Swedish GP, and another LCHF palaeo advocate)
Http://www.cerealkillersmovie.com (website for South African-shot film about the dangers of a so-called 'healthy' Western diet)
Http://www.chrskresser.com (LCHF advocate, health myth debunker, and author of 'Your Personal Paleo Code')
I'll tell this to you straight: the NHS has two ambitions
1. Making the UK the world's fattest and sickest nation
2. Arse-fucking Big Pharma as it does so
Do you realise that many GPs are little more than Big Pharma salesmen…? They're not remotely interested in your health, merely in shoving their employer's latest poison at you, for which they'll receive a decent commission. They draw a big fat NHS salary and another from Big Pharma.
Keep reading that GPs are leaving the NHS due to 'stress'…? I suspect their consciences have bested them and they've been hounded out for speaking the truth.
If anyone who reads this is currently taking any kind of statin, I URGE you to read Dr. Kendrick's book. It could, very literally, save your life. If you're taking statins, chances are you're also taking a PPI and something for GORD (gastro-oesophageal reflux disease). Your GP will tell you that heartburn/acid reflux is caused by EXCESS stomach acid, this is bullshit, heartburn (which may lead to GORD) is actually caused by INSUFFICIENT acid and taking a PPI will increase your risk of developing an ulcer, which will increase your chances of developing gastric cancer and continual acid reflux increases the chance of oesophageal cancer.
I expect a billion DVs for this, but I speak truth…
Re: On the outside?
That's the singular possessive of nurse, NOT A FUCKING PLURAL!!! FFS! What were some of you DOING in English lessons…?!
…and they STILL produce an infographic using Comic Sans (The Font That Won't Die)…?!
Still got my Speccy. No longer got a tape player I can hook up to it though. Got a RAMpak, too, though I never did figure out how the damn thing worked (then the connector got rodented, so now it never will).
Followed by a totally loony eclipse a fortnight later (SkySafari just informed me when I went to check). If only I had a 'scope, and lived somewhere with less light pollution (it's rarely less than 60% here. Some nights I can make out the Orion Nebula - just! - but it's a rare thing).
I thought that HTML5
Was meant to kill off Flash…? Why do we need summat that plays SWF files now…? Me no understandee. Someone explain for the hard-of-thinking (it IS only 07:10, and I've not topped up my blood caffeine yet!).
Re: It's only a matter of time..
Herbivore's what…? That's a singular possessive, not a fucking plural, dickhead! What is it with people…?! If a word ends in a vowel, it DOES NOT require an apostrophe in the plural!
Herbivore means 'plant-eater', not 'grass-eater' aka vegan when it comes to humans. Veganism isn't a healthy lifestyle (despite what vociferous veganists, such as Morrissey, would have you believe). The human digestive system isn't designed to extract nutrition from plant matter, our guts are too short, nor do we have the dentition to effectively masticate plant fibre. Every creature has a genetic and evolutionary dietary blueprint, and it makes as much sense for us to eat nothing but plants as it does a tiger or lion. What happens when a cat eats grass…? It throws up (usually on the living room carpet. Cats are cunts like that. Samson, my mother's last moggy, used to wait until he got on their bed. He was a Greebo - a total bastard, but to my mother he was just a big softie (even when he used to try to try to lacerate her jugular)).
Anyway, the point is that cats need meat and so do we. It was no coincidence that Steve Jobs succumbed to pancreatic cancer, his 100% carb diet would have significantly overloaded his pancreas.
If you want to avoid all the world's major ills, it's simple; simply eat the opposite of what the NHS/USDA would have you believe is a healthy diet, and you won't go far wrong.
Do what I do; find a reputable supplier of grass-fed/finished organic cow flesh - and eat it raw. I've been eating raw steak - and raw eggs, when I can be certain of their provenance - for over a decade. Cooking destroys the nutrition (particularly iron and B12).
Though back to the subject, I've eaten grass, used to do so a lot when I was at uni. Baking with it was popular, brownies especially so. But it was added to many things; pot roasts, pot noodles, even hash browns.
There's one TEENSY problem…
Apple seemingly alter something that prevents 3rd party cables working with each new itineration of iOS. I've got some 3rd party cables from a company called Twisted Envy (sounds more like the name of a nu-metal band) and, whilst they worked perfectly with iOS 7, try to use 'em with 8 and you'll get the 'this cable is not certified…" message and your iThing won't charge. If I stick one in my Air 2, I don't even get the popup, just a blunt 'not charging', where the battery life percentage should be.
The only 3rd party manufacturer which HAS cracked it is Belkin, as I'm using 2 of their UltraFast chargers as I type this, one on a Touch still running 7, and on this 'ere Pad running 8. I wish I knew how they worked coz it's cut charging on the Air 2 from <20hrs for a full charge with Apple's brick, to between 2 and 3 (2.5 is typical). It's 12W vs 10, so it's not as though it's that much more powerful.
Yeah, I know Belkin don't count, but I'm still in awe of this thing.
If anyone's interested, it's an UltraFast 2.4, cost £25 from Amazon. If you need help, tweet @BelkinCares, otherwise you're calling India. But you probably knew that…
Re: 'irredeemably autistic'
As a autistic person, have an upvote. To the 2 pusworms that downvoted you (and Syntax) may your scrotums (scrota?) be filled with the acid of a billion fire ants.
The Higgs Boson has been found!
Re: What's the Fucking Point?
Clarkson, too, please - oh PLEASE?!?! And can they all smash into Katie Hopkins…?
Re: Live feeds?
It's also February*. Yesterday, in this corner of Blighty at least, it chucked a fortnight's-worth of rain at us in less than 24hrs. My corner of Blighty ain't too far from London Zoo so, if it was raining here…
*says she, stating the bleedin' feckin' obvious.
Re: Reminds me of Surfen Multimedia
Probably sounds/reads better in German, right…? Still, I'm always seriously impressed by how well many Germans speak English; I was listening to a show on a station based in Hamburg the other day and the DJ kept dropping into English as though speaking his own language was too much effort! Made it easier for me to understand, though - mein Deutsch es nicht so gut to say the least! But many of the bands I love are German, and none get played on UK radio (except Rammstein). Trying to learn German so I can understand them, and I'm failing miserably! Many do write in English, but many don't.
I was just about to say the same thing. Been running 3 or 4 years on mainline (London to Brum) services.
Oooh, I say…
Bing, BONG! <said in your best Leslie Phillips voice>
Re: I'm guessing...
Effect is a NOUN, rarely a verb
Affect is a VERB, rarely a noun.
Don't forget that 'soaps' were originally soap-powder ads. Wonder how long it was before they forgot about the product and started slagging each other off/shagging their best mate's missus (sister/brother/cousin/granny/cat/dog).
Re: It's not just the last mile...
Same here. I'm in South Bucks, and I've all but given up on the buses. I don't think they're subsidised (if they are, it's to the tune of about 4d ha'penny), there's one about every 3hrs (depending on where you're wanting to go, think there's 2 A40s an hour) and they're really only patronised now by old dears wanting a free ride to the quack's. A return journey for me would be almost £5.
If I wanted to get to Wycombe, I can either get the, notoriously unreliable, A40 (about £8 return) or I can walk to the station and get the train for about a quarter of that (I have a disabled railcard) but it does mean trudging back up Amersham Hill.
When my mother began working in Wycombe (she works for the council) she had this idea she was going to get the A40 because the office is just over the road from the bus station, and she'd be able to claim for her tickets, whereas with driving she could only claim parking (council won't even pay that now, the tight-arsed cunts, so there's always a mad dash at lunchtime to move cars from one 'up to 3hrs' free on-road parking area to another, because the multi-storey costs about the same as a bus ticket). However, it meant arriving at the office either an hour early or an hour late (if the bus arrived at all) and waiting around in the winter… she drives now.
She wouldn't trust a driverless car. She barely trusts one WITH a driver, if that driver's my dad. He's not the most patient, nor tolerant. I'm surprised he's still alive, to be honest.
We don't know how that confession was obtained - could have had his dick in a vice (metaphorically speaking, although this IS America…) and, as nobody's yet mentioned it, the kid's black. US LEOs seem to have a penchant for attempting to stitch up blacks (when they're not murdering them, of course).
Perhaps he IS guilty - or, perhaps, this is Zimmerman in reverse; why guy definitely shoots black kid and walks, forensics state that this black kid DID NOT kill his mate (ethnicity unknown), but I have no faith in him,getting a fair trial, for the same reasons that Trayvon Martin's family didn't get justice - US fuzz are inherently racist.
I read a statistic somewhere (and I'll find out where when I'm more alive) that blacks make up 80% of death row inmates, but blacks aren't responsible for 80% of capital offences.
Am I saying our plod ain't racist cunts - of COURSE I'm not, but we don't legally murder people here anymore.
If the victim was white, there's no fucking chance in hades this kid's gonna get a fair trial. Surprised the fuzz who arrested him didn't shoot him on sight, save the expense of going to court.
Go on then, downvote away…
The only thing I'm positive about is my level of nihilism. And that humane make absolutely fuck all sense to me. Yes, I've been extant on this foetid space-pimple for long enough to be 100% positive (or near enough) that I'm not Homo sapiens. Homo sapiens doesn't understand me, nor I them, ergo how can we be the same species…?
I am, in every sense of the word, except the literal, well and truly FUCKED.
Prob guarantees I'll never win COTW/QUOTW now…
Really…?! So the Tea Party are just really, really, REALLY good bullshitters…? My own observational research says that anti-vaxxers are also climate change deniers, birthers, and creationists.
Coz, if one aspect of science is bollocks, it's ALL bollocks. Tea Party/GOP/mostbRepublicans/Kippers tend to write their own science.
Remember, vaccines will cause horrendous neurological disorders. IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO POISON THEM…?! God will protect them from all disease but, if your child suffers brain damage from contracting measles, that's God's punishment for their lack of faith. - Tea Party/GOP Logic
Late again, as per usual…
…but, evidently, none of you are aware that Reykjavik is home to the world's first - and, most likely, only - museum of, er, manhood
It boasts everything from tiny mouse todgers to that of a blue whale.
Don't worry, no creatures were harmed. I didn't even realise 'phallotology' was a Thing. Reckon it'd kill your sex life, it'd be like bringing work home.
Finally, I really think it's high time you instigated the 'Worst Pun of the Week Award' (awarded weekly, on a week-by-week basis)
Re: Hang on...
All Your Data Are Belong To Us
Re: chimp <-> human
Sorry to spoil the 'joke', but we didn't evolve from apes - we share a common ancestor who lived around 6 million (WHEW! I'm cured!) years ago.
Or, as the idiot creationists would put it "If we came from monkeys, why's there still monkeys…?"
Apes are our closest living relatives <insert your own mother-in-law/aunt/uncle/cousin/granddad, etc., gag here>.
You need to be avoiding more than just the obvious sugars, all carbs turn to sugar once you've eaten 'em.
Eat low-carb/high-fat, and you'll not require as much insulin. I honestly believe that the USDA and the NHS recommend a low-fat/high-carb diet because they're in the pay of Big Pharma, I can think of no other logical explanation for recommending a diet which is almost the polar opposite of our evolutionary and genetic dietary blueprint (the polar opposite of what's healthy in other words).
Oh and a word if you've been ordered to cut your sodium intake because you've got hypertension, angina or other heart problems. Ignore the quack, cardiac problems are caused by too LITTLE Na, not too much. If you cut out sodium, your potassium level will increase, and too much potassium causes heart, circulatory and neurological disorders. In fact the WHO RDA for sodium is around half what our body requires (the current recommendation for Na is 2.4g for K is 3.6g so, in other words we need 33% more Na than K, rather than the current 50% more K than Na recommendation).
Finally, saturated fat and cholesterol don't cause heart disease, either.
Doesn't affect me…g
I've not had a telly since the mid-90s - feck-all on t'worth licence fee. Personally I'd scrap it, the Beeb's becoming more and more of an irrelevance these days.
By the way, did you know that it wants to use summat like £2.5 BEEELLION (fuck, it's contagious) to build a DisneyWorld-Paris-rivalling theme park in East London, in conjunction with Universal…? All,the more reason to scrap it, if you ask me…
Not to be pedantic, but…
it should read "Nein-Non!" The border between the German and French-speaking regions runs exactly down the middle of Biel-Bienne, the town where Swatch has its HQ.
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a sad twat with no life; Am I ashamed of this…? Nope! Haven't had a life for over 4 decades, FAR too late to get one now…
11 Downing Street
Re: One good feature
"Loosing"…?! Oh dear…
Re: Its a planet.
But Eris also has a moon (Dysnomia), and it's around 27% more massive than Pluto so, if the criteria are size and satellites, then why has the argument for its reclassification never arisen then, eh, eh…? Riddle me that then, Smartarse!
Ya can't, can ya…?!
But there appear to be some who'd agree; Pluto's Wikipedia entry is locked to all but admin, and I assume it's because there are some who'd like to see it regain its planetary status and edit its entry to reflect that.
If you were concerned about your diet/heart/weight, then you'd be having a fry-up, ***NOT*** toast. Eating a diet low in saturated fat INCREASES your risk of developing CVD. A duet high in grains, and low in saturated fat, also increases your risk of developing diabetes. Cholesterol **DOES** ***NOT*** cause heard disease, and a diet high in the foods the quacks claim will "lower your cholesterol" will increase your CVD/CHD risk - why…? Simply because high overall cholesterol is, as a general rule, a Very Good Thing, as it's HDL cholesterol which is responsible for raising overall.
Don't listen to the NHS/USDA, they contain more shit than a decade's worth of nappies.
Listen to this dude - http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org - he knows his shit, and I'd strongly recommend you read his book, 'The Great Cholesterol Con'. No affiliation, not plugging owt, honest! Kendrick was an NHS GP, but was kicked out when he refused to routinely prescribe statins. There's ZERO independent evidence that statins do any good, but plenty that says they cause a great deal of harm - and can kill.
I've always had a slight mistrust of the NHS and - after it caused my weight to balloon from 24 to 32 stone about 10 years ago (that's what happens when you eat a low-fat/high-carb diet, full of grains and starches (just say "No!", kids!). After telling 'em where they could shove it, I lost 24.5st (that's what eating a low-carb/high-fat palaeo diet does, kids!). If you want to know ***WHY*** this country has a weight problem, you need look no further than the 'eat poorly' plate, ruining the health of the nation with its fear of saturated fat, red meat, salt/sodium, and all manner of other healthy things. M
Look at it this way, if all of human evolution was compressed into a single day, we've been eating what the NHS/USDA term 'healthy' for less than 2.5 minutes - how could it not FAIL to make us fat and sick…?! Our bodies haven't the first ***CLUE*** what to DO with it! Hippocrates stated, "All Disease Begins In The Gut", meaning it's what you eat that directly determines your state of health. High carb/low fat calorie-restricted diets don't work because you're continually causing the pancreas to produce insulin which causes hunger, so you binge and end up fatter than when you started. Eat a LCHF diet, and you'll not get hungry (or as hungry) because fat has zero impact on insulin, so you'll lose weight.
Re: Do it the Australian way
And how is that in any way democratic…? Not that different from IDS punishing the sick and disabled for not being able to sign on.
What if they're elderly/sick/disabled…? And what's the difference between a 'fee' and a 'fine' anyway…?
Labour/UKIP/Lib Dems - take yer pick!
Re: Its quite safe to store secret stuff in the ceiling
What's this article concerning, AC…? And here was I thinking that *I* was the only one to take everything literally…
@Mister C, have an upvote.
Re: There was another game that came out a year earlier...
Yep, that's the monkey! I bought it and, try as I might, I never managed to get into it. It wasn't the style, I liked that because it was something different, but I seem to recall it being completely illogical, and very linear and, like most adventure gamers, I find linear games frustrating in the extreme, because you really need to be psychic/clairvoyant to get anywhere. I can't think of any examples offhand, so I'll have to invent one, but say you get to a bridge, guarded by a troll who won't let you pass unless you give him the amulet in from the witch's cottage right back at the beginning, and now there's no way back because you had to destroy all the bridges to prevent being hunted down by the bridge troll's mates, and all you can do is start over and, when you DO start over, it takes 3hrs of searching to find the fucking thing! I hate pixel-hunting, too!
I don't mind dying in a game, provided there's good reason, and it doesn't happen every time you stick your head around the door of a building you've not searched before. That gets pretty old, pretty fecking fast. There was a point towards the end of one of the Gabriel Knights (3 I think - it was the werewolf one, as I recall), where you had to perform a series of actions in exactly the right order, and with split-second precision timing, to ,kill the bad guy (who may - or may not - have been a werewolf by that point, look it was about the same time as GF, as I recall) and I remember one of the things was jumping from the middle of a revolving platform, onto a very thin ledge and, if you didn't get the timing exactly right, you fell into the abyss and that was that. I don't recall ever finishing that game, coz it was too frustrating.