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* Posts by Loki

61 posts • joined 19 May 2008

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Russian porn starlet brands DD jubs

Loki
Go

What!!!

There is a good looking girl with DD breasts who likes computer games! Why the hell wasnt I informed!

@Frank Bough - stupid? 500,000 for having something drawn on your breasts for a couple of months. I think she is a business genius (or her agent is).

I hope World of Warcraft pay for this. Then it could read WOW across her breasts.

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Phorm boss blogs from a dark, dark place

Loki
Thumb Up

Phorm is great!!!

Seriously listen. If i like to look at porn, then Phorm will ensure i will get more adverts for porn. Naturally being interested in such adverts (or at least the images on them) i will look at even more porn. In return i will get even more porn adverts.

Within a few weeks i presume my computer will be absolutely overloaded with porn. Surely i will be a very happy person!

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UK butterfly numbers hit hard

Loki
IT Angle

IT Angle?

No really.... i can usually at a stretch see the IT angle, but even IT nerds are not usually interested in butterflies. Maybe i left my anorak at home....

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British film board rejects 'disturbing' sexual torture film

Loki

So....

How long before there is a torrent for this?

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Dungeons & Dragons slays its digital distribution

Loki
Pirate

Why were they surprised?

I really dont understand why they didnt think this through. All the sourcebooks for previous versions have been on the torrents for ages in scanned PDF form and in many cases OCR'd as well. People went to the trouble of actually scanning (and OCR) these documents before online versions were available... so what will make a difference now even if they pull the online versions... they will still end up on the trackers.

In other news - Atari announced today their new anti-piracy scheme for games. They will no longer distribute games via the internet or on DVD. They now will print out the executable code (UUEncoded) on paper. Purchasers of the product must then type in the code using their favourite editor then UUDecode to get the game. A spokesperson for Atari was quoted as saying: "we believe this will reduce piracy of our products 100%"

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Miss Universe pops into Guantánamo Bay

Loki

@Rupert Fiennes

<Quote>If Guantánamo Bay is so bad, how should we define the GULAG, Belsen, North Korea, the Khmer Rouge? If shouting at prisoners and putting them in solitary confinement counts as "torture", what are we going to call hacking off people's arms and legs?</quote>

Two wrongs dont make a right. Didnt your mother ever teach you that?

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Loki

Its probably a new torture tactic

Come on, these guys have been locked up for months/years and seeing a woman like this probably had them all standing to attention (i think you know what i mean).

I'm sure after this event the officers went around the cells saying how nice it would be if the inmates were free again so they could meet Miss Universe. All they need to do is to sign this paper admitting to whatever and they are free to go.

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Yahoo! engineer in murder-suicide riddle

Loki
Joke

Yahoo!!!

Shame nobody thought to search him.

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US judge bars teen 'sexting' charges

Loki

All crap

Idiocy - I have lots of pictures of my kids naked and sent them to my family and even to friends. No way anyone normal would condone this as being perverted etc.

Hell, being naked is our natural form. Some people even raise their families in the practice of nudism (dont know if there is a special word for this). There is nothing wrong with it. Its only our idiotic morality and religious inheritance that views nakedness as being something evil.

I vote we have an international naked day where everyone (yes, even people who are fat/old/ugly) spend the entire day naked. People living in polar regions are naturally exempt from taking part.

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Loki
Joke

Main question is...

Has Wikipedia got hold of the images yet?

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Police ad urges: 'Trust no one'

Loki

@Marky W

Come to Russia. Sure, its not a real democracy in some ways, but our leaders only have occasional light showers of terror and despotism. Otherwise life if pretty fine if you can handle a slightly lower standard of living.

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Right-wing Oz politico in nude snaps rumpus

Loki
Happy

Always at election time?

She says: This always happens right on election time and it is terribly embarrassing.

Really??? That's unfortunate.

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Camelot dismisses lottery website hack claims

Loki
Joke

The big question is....

Did they get next weeks winning numbers?

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Boffins ponder Geordies' lack of winter clothing

Loki

Russia

Here in Russia their behavior is really strange. As soon as it drops slightly cold they immediately wrap up in 10 layers and even when winter ends it takes them weeks to respond to the fact. Even when it rises to +20 they still go around with hats on. However, goes higher suddenly the main street becomes like a fashion parade as all the girls pull out their summer collections... nice.

I get really strange looks sometimes when i go out to throw the garbage in -20 weather in just my shorts and a t-shirt. Funny how i feel the cold less than the Russians (nb: i'm a Yorkshireman).

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Cocaine now cheaper than lager

Loki
Pirate

Drugwars

The Marrakesh express has arrived. Price of Hashish is down to $4.

<sorry if i misquote the game here>

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You did what? The trials of supporting remote users

Loki

Secretaries

Ok, yes, second post, but just one word: Secretaries.

Lovely laides but completely clueless when it comes to applications and computers. Still, usually good for a cup of coffee and always so pleasant and greatful.

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Loki

God help us

So many good times but one really sticks in my mind even though not related to users directly. Me and my Muslim colleague had been rounded up to deal with a priority one problem which left quite a few people without access to the network along with a top director, so it was a bit rush rush.

However, the timing was bad because as we were in the comms room checking things out my friend decided it must be time to pray to Mecca so unrolls his prayer mat (carried it in his laptop case) and proceeds to pray.

User sticks his head into the comms room to see if we are making progress and sees me with wires thrown all over the place and my colleague on the floor praying.

No prizes for guessing what he thought about this and probably went back to tell his manager that the network was likely to be down for some time.

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Teen accused of 'sinister' Facebook sex extortion plot

Loki

The law is an ass

These 300 year sentences just make a mockery of the law... especially as it will come down to 6 months after appeal, and probably get out of prison after 3 months for 'good behaviour' along with a much widened back passage... 18 year old boy in prison for sex crimes... he is going to be someones bitch real quick (well, that or dead).

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Glasgow Cops pound Facebook to blunt knife crime

Loki

Awesome

You have to laugh at comments like these: "We show the parents their pictures"

This would be the druggie/alcoholic parents or single mums of these tearaways? Or the parents who are living in fear of being stabbed by their little cherubs if they dare say a word about their behaviour.

Still... nice to see our bobbies using the latest technology to keep up to date with budding criminals.... bitch.

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Scotland's porn laws: Can we talk about this like grown-ups?

Loki
Flame

RE: Scotland has a different legal system

Damn right... we English used to have ius primae noctis

They got rid of all the best laws.

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Infant calls cops to dad's dope plantation

Loki

Second house then?

From the article i guess this is a second house and not the family home as the mother 'apparently' was not aware of the growth.

On the smell topic, it is possible to hide. A few people i have known over the years kept plants in their cellar and no smell in the house... a few though did smoke weed in the house though so this would be a dead giveaway of them being pot smokers anyway... takes days and open windows to get rid of the smell... opening the windows just as the cops arrive isnt going to help.

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Oz cops cuff Jungle Jane pump-and-dump perv

Loki

But...

... did he leave a deposit?

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Fake plane death businessman left SOS bullet-point list

Loki

Useless

He failed to fake his death, and then apparently failed to commit suicide for real. This guy is a complete failure at everything.

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Conficker seizes city's hospital network

Loki
Thumb Down

You have to love comittees

Its why they have committees. So nobody is to blame and they can keep taking their fat pay checks regardless of how badly they feck up.

Its been proven time and again, if nobody is responsible for decisions then people do what they think is easiest for them.

Was it President Eisenhower who had on his desk a sign saying: The buck stops here.

Nothing wrong with Committees per se as advisory boards, but someone has to be decision maker and put their balls on the line.

Still, sounds like one major SNAFU. Auto-rebooting computers... shouldnt happen anywhere these days.

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In the ditch with DAB radio

Loki

What to do with the free airwaves?

If at the magical 50% we are all going to switch, wont the recently freed up bandwidth be ripe for the plucking. I imagine the pirate radio stations will love this.

"This is Radio 1 going off the air, join us on DAB. Goodbye" *crackle* "Yo man! BBC1 be replaced by Underground Reggae Radio. Sit back, light a spliff, and chill".

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Mac fans see MS porn everywhere

Loki
Joke

Oh

Wont people think of the porn!

David to Hal: My god, its full of porn!

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MSI mobo ditches Bios for EFI

Loki

The thin edge

Wont be long before they start cramming it full of additional features, hardware acceleration drivers, full driver support, games (oh, thats already in?), file browser, web browser, email client, office suite.... and hey! Bye bye operating systems.... to be replaced by the EFI... erm, not an operating system.

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Symantec: Stop buying storage

Loki

7-zip?

7-zip and an AT job? Should work a charm and save $$$

Actually in a previous job i used AT combined with a perl script and 7-zip to give some extra functionality and it worked fine. All data backed up and nicely compressed.

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DARPA aim to make killer robots invulnerable to damage

Loki
Joke

Hackinbot

Give it 5 minutes on the field of battle and a russian hacker will have reprogramed it with Asimov's 3 laws of robotics and also configured it as a spam relay server ;-)

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Google sponsored links caught punting malware

Loki
Alert

Difficult to point the finger at Google...

... when doing so would imply The Pirate Bay is also in the wrong. Both will say they dont directly host the content and just supply links.

So those who are getting up in arms against google... well, hope you dont use Bittorrent for anything *gasp* illegal.

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Security pros groan as zero-day hits Microsoft's SQL Server

Loki

Biggerst problem here is....

How many users dont read articles like this or the MS advisory articles?

A vast majority? Therefore the vast majority will remain vulnerable (unless they use another browser by default).

The whole system is flawed and other browsers also have their problems, but at least Firefox does auto-update and patches are generally fairly quick and big bugs not too common.

Still, i do quite often skip updates when faced with the eternal dilemma of choosing between (A) patch, or (B) surf for porn.

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Mozilla boudoir shoots out second Firefox 3.1 beta

Loki
Paris Hilton

Open Source... you have to love it!

This is what happens in the world of open source. The developers are not only the community but they listen to the community.

Microsoft decide what they are going to do, and its up to marketing to sell it.

OSS asks the cummunity what they want, and they say "Something to hide our disgusting surfing habits from our significant other".... yay!!!

Nothing worse than the auto-complete feature either. Someone borrows your computer and starts to type in legaladvice.com and the address bar suggests lesbianspankinferno.com instead. Most embarrassing.

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Google OS gOS - if at first you don't succeed...

Loki
Go

Divided

I'm a little divided here. On one hand im quite happy to wait 3 minutes for my 8 year old Debian iMac to boot, and i can play games and write docs and surf the web (albeit a little slowly). Boot times are not really an issue for me, so from this perspective gOS doesnt sell (also tried gOS 3 and TBH didnt like it much due to lack of offline features.

On the other hand as an ex-sys admin, this is closer to perfection for rolling out in a work environment (with the proper proxy setup to block facebook etc so some productivity can be made). When i first started being a sys-admin everyone had dumb terminals at my work. Any problems were either server/mainframe problems (very rare) or a dumb terminal had died. Was the work of 2 minutes to swap out a dumb terminal a log a support call for a relplacement before getting back to some hard work playing Dune 2 over the serial cable with my colleague. These days sys-admins actually have to do some work and spend half their time fixing things caused by stupid users doing stupid things with their computers.

So, bring back Netstations, or better still VT100 dumb terminals so people at work become productive again.

Disclaimer: Written at work on Windows with a hard drive full of games......

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Armed anti-paedophile cops swoop on video site uploader

Loki
Thumb Down

Madness

I'm just waiting for the day the police break down my door for distributing pics of kiddie porn.... well, what i have done is taken pictures and videos of my kids, get this, *naked*, and sent to their grandma.

Guess that means i should be locked up for life!

And my kids also love being thrown around. Their favorite is i lay on my back and they push themselves against my feet, and then i raise my feet and they go in the air. I then sometimes make them fly by kicking upwards. Kids love it... wife has a heart attack every time i do it.

Looks like the guy in the video was being a bit rough with the kid (presuming it wasnt a fake) but if the kid enjoys it and isnt hurt not a problem i think. Remember Whacko Jacko hanging his kid over that balcony... much more dangerous, and nobody knocked his door down over it.

And this guy who was arrested wasnt even the guy who made the video!!!

Boo to the police on this one.

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There's gold in green: profiting from climate change

Loki

Humanity

Humanity's capacity for stupidity and greed never fail to amaze me time and time again (guess im just too much of an optimist when it comes to the human condition).

How long before this cap raises to 100% and all emissions are traded and capped?

Fuck it, i dont even want to oppose this.... im just going to sit back and laugh my ass off at the futile hope that someday mankind actually tries to solve problems by... solving them, instead of resoting to idiotic schemes.

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Supersonic fighters could snuff out hurricanes

Loki
Joke

In other news...

... the butterfly union of South America have gone on strike and stopped flapping their wings. This is predicted to reduce hurricane activity by 50%!!!

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Bittorrent declares war on VoIP, gamers

Loki

Absoloute FUD

Terrible article, although raises a valid point about some users taking more bandwidth than others.

As i see things at the moment the ISPs are playing a balancing act between the end-users and 'others'.

To keep the ISPs and their revenue streams flowing while maintaining a reasonable interest in the good feelings of their users then they should drop the flat rate charges and go with a price per MB downloaded/uploaded. As long as they keep it reasonable this would provide very cheap broadband for granny smith who checks her emails to reasonable for the average user, to prohibitivly expensive for those who keep torrent files going 24/7.

Still, arguments in the article are full of crap...

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UK.gov says extreme porn isn't illegal if you delete it...

Loki
Joke

Making the government understand...

... is like flogging a dead horse. Ooops.

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Snipers - Cowardly assassins, or surgical soldiers?

Loki

Doesnt go far enough..

The whole business of snipers doesnt go far enough. I've always though that rather than bloody huge wars with civilian losses, that it should be the leaders who start the bloody things should be at the front of every conflict rather than the peons.

If a leader isn't willing to be at the front of a battle then better they didn't start the whole shebang in the first place. Better still, lets have like celebrity deathmatch where the leaders are thrown in a ring together and the winner takes all.

Just imagine, Bush vs Hussein. On the side of the US a man who alledges to have spent some time in the army and other the other side a man who (or so we are led to believe) was more than combat capable.

Would give the US final justification as well for making Schwarzenegger (yeah, had to use the spell checker on that one!) president... ok, a bit old now but im sure he would still be capable of pushing Gordon Brown's face through the back of his head. ;-)

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What if computers went back to the '70s too?

Loki

@John Campbell

Exactly the same situation here! Loved using the PRIME. While you are waiting for your program to compile used to hit the Imperial or some other MUD for a few hours.

Our computer department bought a number of Atari STs about this time which was great because it was really easy to set up the F keys as macros and thus we created the first MMORPG bots. Just hit F1 50 times and go for a cig to find you had gained a level and a wad of cash. ;-)

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Selfish worm targets month-old Windows flaw

Loki
Paris Hilton

Why i dont patch....

Because i'm on dial up you insensitive clods :-(

Last time i tried i took one look at the download size for just the critical patches and gave up.

Hence the dual boot to linux which means i can surf for smut without worrying about being rooted... sure, they may be able to mess with my login (assuming they even have code it place to handle linux) but they would probably have to be very very good to actually get root access (unless im hit by a keylogger and subsequently do a sudo.....).

On the subject of layers and porn, i dont think we have any worries. Porn will be available at all levels. 99% of the internet is porn... where would it be without it? Hell, my introduction to the fledgling internet via the early university JANET network was downloading pics of Cindy Crawford in swimwear.... (which is what passed for hardcore back in the old days, before the wheel was invented).

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Loki
Pirate

A new generation of virii?

Maybe there is a new generation of virus writers out there, who getting fed up with all the vulnerabilities are now writing worms/viruses that patch the vulnerability. Maybe once done they leave helpful messages on your screen like:

"M$ facked ur Windoze installz... we hax0red it and fix3d it for u. Our plezur, no thanx n33ded"

Next thing will be that spam authors getting fed up with getting spam themselves will agree to put useful things in the title of the message like [SPAM - DELETE ME] so that it is easier for filters to sort.

Its a strange world we live in....

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Lords told to listen to science on cannabis

Loki
Coat

Use has fallen...

Damn right it has fallen. Since having kids i have barely had a spliff except for an evening with my brother earlier this year while on a business trip when we got happily stoned and we ordered a chinese and played on the computer half the night.

Dangerous stuff eh? Not like that nice alcohol that everyone behaves perfectly on and is legal.

Most dangerous/harmful thing i did while being stoned was upon having an attack of the munchies late at night contemplating eating some suspicious looking food in the fridge... in the end took a paranoid 10 minute walk to the nearest 24-hour shop to collect supplies all the time thinking "Try not to look stoned, try not to look stoned"... and then upon handing money over for my purchases noticing a big black stain from the cannabis resin on my index finger.... girl serving me said, "Having a nice smoke?" with a big smile on her face.... sure i had bought a pack of Rizzla as well which could have tipped her off.

Mines the one with an ounce in the pocket.

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Employees sue for unpaid Windows Vista overtime

Loki

XP also...

under some conditions. You have to remember that these time keeping apps are probably either set as startup, or even as the user fires up the helpdesk software. I have a decent machine at work (nothing fancy mind you) running XP, and boot doesnt take long at all.

However, after logging in all my apps that i need start to fire up (Trillian, Skype, ZoIPer), then i need to launch outlook (yawn), and maybe some other apps as well. After hitting enter to login i can go for a cigarette and be back before the hard disk stops thrashing.

Now consider in a helpdesk area where the PCs are probably quite cheap and low spec (management decision... what do they need computers for... they work on the phone... oh yes, the CRM software... about $100 per PC should do it). So after logging in, the software that logs the time could take several minutes before it fires up (and maybe second login prompt for the CRM or other software - more time gone).

I understand them very well. I used to run a call center and the users did not have great machines. Staff used to come into work 15 minutes early just to get logged in and be ready. The call center software logged their time and they generally launched this manually (although i did have it set to use AD authentication so there was no password prompt). Minimum 5 minutes from switching their PCs on and longer on the older machines.

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Batman sues Batman over Batman

Loki
Happy

Turkish pipes

Holy Turkish pipe batman! Thats some good shit theyve been smoking!

Think this is easy to get thrown out though. The Turkish alphabet is slightly different from the latin one used in the west and also has different sounds.

Therefore according to wikipedia (may i be damned for eternity for citing wikipedia!) Batman would sound like: Butmun. Also not having the exact same alphabet you can argue that it is not the same word, otherwise if there was a town in Russia called Батман the same case could be argued.

What next? Sheffield in the UK suing Sheffield in the USA for having the same name?

BTW: IANAL, IANA Turk, IAN Batman

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Sharp shows image-retaining LCD

Loki
Coat

So let me get this right...

... you can still see what you were working on just before the power went?

Worst. Product. Ever.

On the other hand.... if surfing the web,and bashing the bishop, this could be a climax saver!

Mines the one with the UPS in the pocket.

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Microsoft unveils 'lightweight' Office for Web

Loki

Stripped down version???

So basically, they are removing all the features that nobody uses, needs, or wants, and repackaging for the web.

So basically that means OO.o probably has more features than this web version of office?

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Home Office guides plods on photography

Loki

Tourisrts....

walking around london... points to a random building. "Excuse me Mr Police Officer... what is that building?" Policeman: "Thats secret headquaters of the <insert name here>. Right, you are nicked for requesting information about a secret location".

Whacko!

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Police poison speed debate with fuzzy figures

Loki
Joke

Banannananas

Quote: By this means, bad statistics could "prove" that locating bananas at crash sites would reduce the level of road deaths.

In other news, Yorkshire county council have revealed plans to remove all speed cameras and replace them with bunches of bananas. A spokesperson for the council stated "Based on need to reduce the cost of operating speed cameras and on advice from our think tanks we believe bananas are the perfect low cost replacement."

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Is Amazon censoring anti-DRM reviews?

Loki

@Anonymous Coward Posted at 10:38 GMT

Quote: "If you don't like it - stop illegally file-sharing and play fair."

But this is the point isnt it? File sharers and pirates arnt bothered by this. They get the DRM free version anyway. The pirates may be making it worse for the legitimate purchasers but not for themselves. They arnt going to stop because of DRM and it just pisses off legitimate customers.

My copy of Spore is wonderfully DRM free and i dont need a CD in the drive to play and as i am on dial up then i don't need to connect to the internet to verify it either. Remarkably bug free game so i don't even need to go to the hassle of finding a new hack for the patch... maybe they should have put more bugs in the initial release... but of course that would really piss off the legitimate owners and kill reviews and ratings that even Amazon wouldnt be able to cover up.

I like Stardock for their efforts and think Sins of a Solar Empire is a good game.... its a game i would have paid good money for if it wasn't virtually impossible for me to get the games in English where i live being an ex-pat.... funnily enough the local market does supply me with the English versions at a nice cheap price that i cannot get in the shops.

Not going AC here because i don't feel the need. I admit to purchasing pirated versions because a) its DRM free, and b) the suppliers don't give me any option to purchase an English version (i cannot do internet orders).

As a side note in my defense when i was in the UK i did purchase a majority of games rather than pirate, but this was long before the whole DRM idiocy when the copy protection was basically a CD check and a serial number for most games. A quick d/l of a no-CD patch and i could feel happy i had a legitimate copy while not having any hassle looking for the CD when i wanted to play.

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