Posts by Fresher

@richard tanswell

"Since the French took over, the company has really gone down in my estimation."

Have you not noticed yet that the crap service you get from companies in England has nothing to do with the French (or other nations, or immigrants) and everything to do with dumb asses not having the balls to take a stand and stop paying for the crap?

I'd think

I'd think it's kinky if my girlfriend was spying on me... especially if she had lots of hi-tech spy gear as well.

@Tom Welsh

This was a middle aged woman who posed as a juvenile in order to cause distress to a child. That's not right and she deserves to be punished.

"Words may be very hurtful, but we all have to learn to put up with criticism, mockery, and even vicious taunts. The alternative would be far worse."

You walk up to my kid and start calling them filth and I think it's you who'll be learning a lesson.

@Graham Bartlett

They need an extra pair of hands to undo and tie up their corset.

Yo-yo

More information might help.

When I lwoke up 7 am today I weighed 13 stone 8 pounds.

Intput/output diary:

7:01 am peepee. volume: 15 seconds worth.

7:15 am approx. 500ml cold water from fridge.

7:40 am Everybody loves Raymond advert break, ate a pear.

8:20 am 1 skimmed milk cappuccino (sp.?) and 3 Marlboro lights outside cafe near work.

9:15 am Pack of M&S chicken and sweetcorn sandwiches (with the healthy eating sunflower on), cup of Earl gray and glass of sparkling water,

9:19 am Burp.

10:48 am Poo.

11:15 am approx 250 ml cold water.

12:00 pm Miso soup and tuna & salmon junior from Itsu.

12:45 pm approx 250ml room temperature water.

2:19 pm Columbian coffee machine coffee.

2:39 pm Peepee.

2:42 pm Marlboro light.

2:51 pm Apple.

4:47 pm aprrox. 250 ml cold water.

5:01 pm Marlboro light.

7.16 pm Peepee.

7:25 pm Lemon sole fillet x 2, mixture of salad leaves, lots of asparagus, 2x bottles of Becks alcohol-free.

7:48 pm Peepee.

8:19 pm Cornetto.

8:43 pm Ejaculation.

9:11 pm cup of chamomile (sp.?) tea.

Now I weigh 13 stone 3 pounds.

@Spleen

"Atheists merely apply the same standard of evidence to statements ..."

For a person to do that they must believe in the evidence and either their own or another's ability to correctly deduce a result from that evidence.

Baby name

I think they should call the kid Peters Hilton.

Drink driving

"Drunks should be put back where they belong, behind the wheel of a car."

As Dave Allen once said: more car accidents are caused by people who smoked before driving rather than drank alcohol before driving - which means they should get the smokers off the road and make it a safer place for drinkers.

@Chad H

"But how will those of us who need to see the screen do things?"

You lot will have to make do with the touch screen excuse for a keyboard. My solution keeps both camps happy - those that like to look at the screen and those that like physical button press. I reckon the iPhone upgrade will be a revolution that doesn't leave anyone feeling disenfranchised.

@AC

"Read the bible: Judges, chapter 13 to 16."

That's a good hair cut reference and I can see how, on balance, it might cause someone to call the emergency services rather than sit struggling with the theological interpretation when their daughter's hair's being eaten by a cabbage patch doll.