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* Posts by Khaptain

2036 posts • joined 4 May 2008

BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

Khaptain
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Re: We have all experienced Schrödinger's USB stick

If only the other device also had something to identify the right way up as well....... or wasn't in the vertical orientation around the back where you have difficulty seeing anything..

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Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Khaptain
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Re: And this dear listeners..

All men begin as atheists, it's only when the Bible Bashers starting spinning their tales to children that anyone ever become religious.

It is forbidden to play with a child's body, why is it not forbidden to play with his mind ?

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Khaptain
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Re: In the dark, bare feet

Either that or the edge of a door.

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Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

Khaptain
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Re: Someone must be blind to think thats a Window 7 Start Menu

>Metro is a corner stone of Microsoft's future strategy

Hopefuly they are now beginning to realise that their "corner stone" is not the correct corner stone for the building that they want to produce.

Different platforms have different needs, a one size fits all OS is nothing more than the epitomous Silver Bullet.

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Khaptain
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Re: Still hate the tiles and the window decorations

>I am not sure that the guts of Windows 8 are all that bad.

Definately agreed, if we have the choice to completely switch off all of the Metro stuff it would actually be a very nifty OS.

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BT Tower to be replaced by 3D printed BT Tower

Khaptain
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10 Downing Street

10 Downing Street would have been a far better choice, it's already filled with Playmobil characters .

( This one seems a little too obvious for 1st April, mmmmmmm, pauses and wonders if it's a red herring kind of thing)

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YouTube follows Twitter onto Turkey's block list

Khaptain
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Re: To think...

And you actually believe that the EU is any less corrupt ? We are just better at hiding it.

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GNOME 3.12: Pixel perfect ... but homeless

Khaptain
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Re: Desktops

@Craigness

Everytime you hit the Windows key that damned full screen TIFKAM interface pops up. Personally I call that invasive and way overboard. What people complained about is not the lack of the desktop but lack of the start menu, and I don't mean the start menu button..

Or are you thinking about those W8 "apps" that no-one cares about....in that case yes I agree with what you are saying but does anyone actually use those programs.

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Khaptain
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Re: Desktops

>It is a bit shocking that the minimalist desktops seem to have overtaken the big lads. Linux users generally gravitate towards MATE, XFCE, LXDE and so on. I have gone from KDE to XFCE. Gnome and the other behemoths go on releasing self-indulgent albums but nobody is listening.

I would go as far as saying that that is probably one of the main reasons for Windows 8 failure, the desktop became too apparent. Although I am principally an MS bod, I always have a VM running somewhere and the machine in my garage running Linux; Mint in its various forms for the last year or so.

I have also not used Gnome or KDE for years because of their general bloaty/heavy/over present feeling, I stick to XFCE, I dont care if XFCE doesn't have feature X or feature Y, the fact that it remains "behind the scenes" and out of my face is what makes it nice, light, reactive and very user friendly.

YMMV but I feel that XFCE just hits the right boundary.

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Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

Khaptain
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Re: It's the Register.

"Twunt" probably wouldn't please them much either.

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Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

Khaptain
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All Hail El Reg

Why is there not an El Reg emoticon ? I could be used to symbolise all the madness in the world. A bit like the Guy Fawkes = Anonymous relationship.

El Reg = All of the world's madness rolled into a vulture.

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BT snatches crown: Soars to top of complaints list

Khaptain
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Joke

Re: maybe

>it's just that we've given up complaining about the rest of them as much because fuck all changes whether you do or not.

That's not quite true as far as changes go. There are have been several increases in salaries and bonuses to the top dogs due to reduction in maintenance charges.... Instead of hiring some new technicians/engineers they distributed the cash between them.

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Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

Khaptain
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Headmaster

Prurient

That's made my day, I have learned a new word, which will be fun trying to place in a conversation.

It's one of those words that is likely to switch on "Dummy Mode" , depending on the context could be quite interesting.

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Bono bests Bezos in Fortune's 'World's 50 Greatest Leaders' list

Khaptain
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Re: Say Wha?

Try having a talk to your dog and telling him not to go a humping after it has had a whiff of bitch in heat.

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Khaptain
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Inspiration

Do any of them inspire me, truthfully -- No..

Angela Merkel probably has the biggest pair of testicles, so she remains up on the list. All the rest I either don't know them or really don't beleive that they should be there..

The Pope has become a media twunts wetdream.

General Joe Dunford - Who dat ?

Alan Mulally - Who dat - a guy that makes Ford Escorts ?

Warren Buffet - Bill Clinton - Cmon now, this list really is not serious.

Aung San Suu Kyi - The Nobel prizses have become a bit of a joke ( although she might have meritted something less mediatic)

Question : Why is BONO on a list of inspiring people...... I won't bother citing what kind of list I really would like to see him - but I believe that hitmen might take some interest...

I kind of wonder if the list wasn't poached from a page 17 daily fail page.

People that inspire me are usually unknown people doing mundane things, to help others without ever receiving or expecting any wealth, medals or public feedback.....

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They want me to install CCTV to see what YOU did in the TOILET

Khaptain
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Pint

SLA definition

SLA = Service Level Agreement ( That what the IT Directors like to think will save them when the shit hits the fan, oh how wrong).

SLA = Shit level awareness ( The guy watching the toilet CCTV might be able to avoid the risk of overflow if he is aware of this SLA).

SLA = Silly little acronyms ( We all use them all day long, it's part of our industry- helps keep the dumb dumber).

SLA = So Long Alistair ( When your not hip, you are out on your arse)...

Beer o'clock is in proximity.

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Every little helps: Dirty MOLE BANDITS clean out Tesco ATM from BELOW

Khaptain
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Happy

The hole in the wall became the hole in the ground....

Just for the sheer audacity and the risk I think that they have well earned their 86k. Would be interesting to know how much the operation actually cost, time, labour, electricity or candles, work boots etc.... They might actually have been better of simply getting a job......

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Microsoft frisked blogger's Hotmail inbox, IM chat to hunt Windows 8 leaker, court told

Khaptain
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And in addition to above statement

What sort of idiot uses the companies "own" email system to send out company confidential system from their workplace.....

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Help a hack: What's in your ultimate Windows XP migration toolkit?

Khaptain
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My method - YMMV

What I would do

1st I would not even consider doing an upgrade.....It wastes more time than it saves and will probably require support later on which you don't want to have to do.. Unless this is a necessity which isn't mentioned in the article.

Backup up all required files, then install fresh W7 copies..

Sysprep is your friend, the best tutorial I have ever found/used is as follows

Sysprep Tutorial

Required material

DVD or an ISO image , You will need a version of the W7 DVD or an ISO image.... a large bootable USB key, I use 2* 16Gb ...

If your are successfull with the Sysprepping + Testing then each install should take no longer than 1hr each, dependant on the software updates that will undoubetdly be triggered. make sure the PC is "fully" updated before doing the sysprep.

Do "ALL" of your prepping/testing BEFORE you head out..... Do, do the testing.......

Use http://ninite.com/ for downloading/updating those little must have prgrams that we all need/use ( Thanks go to Trevor Potts for the introduction to Ninite)

Just in case Sysprep fucks up the hidden admin account ( This is why testing is vital)

Hidden admin solution

Thats my 2cts worth ( I actually use this method)

Don't know the answer relating to the bandwidth issues

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This record-smashing robot solves a Rubik's Cube in 3.253 seconds

Khaptain
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Re: Ah good old school days..

I'm in the same boat as Martin, more than 30 years ago the "algorithms" was learded, some self taught, some shared, were imprinted into my mind. I can still do the cube without really thinking about it, I do need to look at it several times though.. unlike the guy doing the 20 cubes ... whilst blindfolded....

Always the same method.

Top Face - No importance as to whether the corners or middle are inserted first. This is the easist section - very little, if any, thought required.

Middle row

Algorithm reverses dependant on the original orientation of the piece to be inserted ( to the left or to the right ). Only one algorithm required.

Bottom row - -

One algorithm for swapping 3 middle pieces at a time. ( all pieces rotate to the left or right as required)

One algorithm for inverting middle pieces if upside down.

then

One algorithm for swapping 2 corner piece positions until all pieces in correct positions..

Last and final algorithm for inverting all corner pieces to their correct orientation, the positions dont shift .

Finished.

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Khaptain
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Unbelievably wonderfull

I learned to do the cube as a teenager many moons ago and never dropped under the 3 minute mark.

Full kudos to this team for their prowess of being capable of solving the cube so quickly, their mastery of lego and their fantastic coding skills....

I really admire these kinds of fun projects., must go out and buy myself some of that mindstorm stuff.

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Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE

Khaptain
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Re: Interesting...

>Intrigued - in what way is VG a 'fake' space company?

Have they actually ever been to space or are they just selling a pipe dream ?

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Your 'funny' cat pics are weighing down the web, so here's a better JPEG encoder from Mozilla

Khaptain
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Re: Alternative solution -- Tax the porn and the publicity

Calm down guys, eat some weetabix and all will be fine.

What I am really getting at is just how stupid this idea really appears to be . Why bother reducing JPGs when they represent no problem, there are far many more areas that need to be adressed first.

BTW: Google does not provide the connection to my home, my ISP does. So if all of my ISPs' users(my neighbours) are downloading torrents, netflicking, viewing porn or watching XFactor videos then the cabinet at the end of my street gets choked.... It doesn't matter squat diddly whether Google has private networks or not, it is the last mile that counts.... Like the majority I don't live in an area where FTTH is prevalent.

>so your leap from an article about jpegs to video is bordering on gibberish.

No, because I am making an attempt, I admit a poorly humerous attempt, to surface areas which "need" to be covered rather than areas that make no almost impact whatsover. Remind me again how many average jpgs = 1 reasonably sized video.......and you call that gibberish

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Khaptain
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Alternative solution -- Tax the porn and the publicity

Why not simply charge a tax "per image/video" to the website host.. Then we would see a dramatic decrease in the number of images used.

Images have their place in the web, that is undoubtable, but unfortunately today the majority of images are either catporn, porn or publicity ( sometimes even publicity for more porn).

As for those responsable for providing bandwidth hogs with suitable material, then without a doubt, Google would be in number one position. Youtube, Youporn and Google generated Advertising......

Ok, the article is about JPGs but JPG usage is tiny in comparison to the bandwith hogging that video generates.

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Chillax, cranky commentards: Anger can KILL YOU

Khaptain
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Pint

Re: Everything kills you!

Even more succint, "Life kills you", eventually.....

Mine's a Guiness and don't forget the peanuts.

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Facebook: We want a solar sky cruiser comms net that DARPA couldn't build

Khaptain
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Personally I can't imagine any truly beneficial nature behind this kind of project, I just pray that he won't play the "Save Humanity" card.

In my personal view :- Zuckerberg is to Anthropolgy as a Shepherd is to Astrological Physics.

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Pakistan's YouTube ban may end after Google removes anti-Muslim vid

Khaptain
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Unhappy

Re: Couple of questions

If anything my remarks were more against the idiocy of the dictator style states than anything else. I would consider that the banning of youtube is the least of the problems faced by Pakistanis on a dailly basis.

Question : How do you know that I myself am not a "brown person" ? Your decision to use the term "terrible brown person " is actually quite revealing about how you think.

( PS : I lived in the middle east for 3 years which is not something that most "bigots" do and amazingly my "Terrible Brown Person" girlfriend came to live in London with me, again quite surprising for a bigot

PPS : The article was not about the Pakistani people it was about the Pakistani govt. or did you miss that point)

)

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Khaptain
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Meh

Couple of questions

* If this video was not the cause of the ban then what really was ?

* Is YouPorn also banned, it's not really suitable for the children of <deity> ?

* What percentage of Pakistani's actually have web access ( over and above a 56k connection) ?

* According to the logic of these people, why would Pakistan even need the internet ?

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Fanbois sent into FITS of RAGE by fake Steve Jobs statue competition

Khaptain
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Re: Hmm...

More anagrams

* Cadaver And Groin

* Vagina Dancer Rod

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How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000

Khaptain
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Re: Not sure what to think

All it would have required was to sit down with his familly, in private, explain the situation and inform them that because of the agreement they cannot speak or disclose details of the deal.. Everyone behaves like an adult, they have 80K in the bank and everything is hunky dory....

Unfortunately he had a daughter that doesn't know what "discreet" means.

These kind of deals happen every day without us knowing about them because both parties know what it means to honour the contract and remain schtoum.....

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Khaptain
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Re: Something doesn't add up here...

"Really? You are supporting courts having the rights to dictate that married individuals must keep secrets from their spouses? From their direct family?"

I really dont understand what "contract" or agreement means then. This guy accepted the agreement, he was not forced or coerced and the agreement stated that he "must" keep the details quiet.

I do not see how any of his indivudual rights have been abused, he accepted the agreement, he should have kept his side of the bargain otherwise he should not accepted the deal.

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Khaptain
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Re: Something doesn't add up here...

@Shell

The "terms"; ie "the agreement between the two parties", was that he recieves 80K for not disclosing the deal to anyone...... That means "no-one".

He could easilly have explained to his wife that he won the courst case and also say, to his wife, familly, that he can't can't discuss the details.. I cant see the importance of telling anyone the nitty-gritty and certainely not the daughter.

Personally, I have no sympathy for the guy, he should imply have swallowed his pride, kept his mouth shut and enjoyed the 80k..... Instead he wanted to show off and he paid the price, what an arse...

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Ethernet boffins get ready to kick off 400G development

Khaptain
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Re: eventually even load a rich content web site

Unfortunately that "rich" content will just become richer..... the marketing bods have no pride.

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Frenchman eyes ocean domination with floating, mobile Bond villain lair

Khaptain
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El Reg Kick Funding

I propose to forward my name as the first person to sponsor the >45k. I would need a little help from the dear El Reg readers.

I will even wear an El Reg T-Shirt whilst I am stroking the on-board pussy.....

Cmon guys, think about it, your names would be printed on the back of the TShirt as being part of fthe official sponsors..

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Dropbox erects sueball shield with new T&C and privacy legalese

Khaptain
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Thumb Up

I would suggest BitTorrentSync, everything remains yours, there is no middle man, no limits and hopefully no NSA, GCHQ etc....

BitTorrentSync

Takes about 1 minute to set it up. I can't vouch for how well it works on mobile because I only use it between PCs,Laptops.

Forgot to mention that is it free.

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Samsung brandishes quad-core Galaxy S5, hopes nobody wants high specs

Khaptain
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Coat

Re: Battery

Truck batteries are the solution.

1 : Strapped to your back - Very portable..

2 : Pushed/Pulled around in an old ladies shopping trolley - just add a Louis Vuitton or Guchi label to the front..

3 : Cleverly disguise half of a battery under each shoe within the soles. ( It gives the added benefit of making you taller and instantly more manly.)

4 : Hang around truckers parks - For a little extra "servicing" they might give you a free recharge from one of their batteries.

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Khaptain
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I usually take my wife, but each to his own..

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Wanna change the world but need cash? Fret not: Billionaire Eric Schmidt has some spare change

Khaptain
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OOOhhhhh

Google is reportedly making about $2000 every second, therefore in the time that it takes to read this comment Eric should already have enough to pay for this little venture..... ( OK read a little slow....)

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Climate change will 'CAUSE huge increase in MURDER, ROBBERY and RAPE'

Khaptain
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Re: London riots

Ok, can you please explain Ukraine at the moment

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Khaptain
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Difficult to take this serious

I would suggest that

* Increasing disparity of wealth ( Rich get richer, poor get poorer)

* Globalisation

* Overpopulation

* Insatisfaction with Governements.

* Corporate Theft. ( Silverstein cough cough)

Were more more likely to cause Murder and Robbery than that that might arrive from a change in climatic conditions.

( Rape is a subject I won't include as it's probably very, very difficult to determine the reasons but I am not sure that Climatic Conditions are the major factor, ymmv)....

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Yes! New company smartphones! ... But I don't WANT one

Khaptain
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The Big Question

Throughout the article, I often found myself asking "What do you want a smartphone to do today that it didn't do yesterday?".

What are the new, extra or amazing features that you are looking for / require ?

Or have you arrived at the end of the "Feed me with smartphone wowness" stage of life...

I would surmize that either

a : Trevor is getting old and the geek is fading into the darkness.

b : Someone needs to bring out handheld holographic devices, "today", in order to satisfy the waning geekness.

c : The smartphone market has simly reached peak smartphone, fallen into complete banality and we, as a race, need to move on to newer grounds.

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Rise of the Machines: Robot challenges top German player at ping-pong

Khaptain
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Gimp

Woooaaahhh

How many of you went wooooaaahhhh when Agilus started rolling the ball around the edge of the bat.

Amazing engineering, mechanical and software : a little worrying all the same, did I just see John Conner waiting for a bus....

Question : Is there any valid reason for building robots to perform tasks in tha same manner that a human being would perform them ? ( Other than the obvious serviable slave)

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G20 gives Google, Microsoft, Apple et al tax deadline

Khaptain
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Tax Havens

Whilst we're on the subject of tax havens and tax avoidance etc... Can the G20 also ensure that "Everyone Else" also pays their tax.....that means ministers, business men, anyone that has money in Switzerland that does not work on Switzerland ( Switzerland could be any of those damned Hide your Finance countries)..

These loopholes only exist because ministers and their sidekicks created them so that they too could profit.....

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Muslim clerics issue fatwa banning the devout from Mars One 'suicide' mission

Khaptain
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@Donlaw

"So in closing if we treat everyone like we would like to be treated things are made less problematic in our lives."

Unfortunately your summation does not incorporate the most powerfull driving force of them all : human greed.....

Altrusim is a wonderfull ideal, reality is a lot less perfect....

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Khaptain
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Yes, I know that a Fatwa is not a death warrant as such but the media and some clerics have successfully managed to make it appear as though it was.

Religion is and should remain a private affair unfortunately the religion leaders and the media don't want to make it so.....

In any event is there much difference to fear between death and eternal damnation......

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Khaptain
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I wonder if the subject of Space Exploration has been covered in any of the religious books ?

Who knows, maybe there is a better Deity on the planet Mars....Now that would make for really interesting news....

You have to love the irony though:

Putting a death warrant on someone for potentially committing suicide..

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TONGUES OUT if you want to LICK Steve Jobs' BACKSIDE

Khaptain
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Call animal welfare immediately

Won't anyone think about the worms and the maggots.

By the way isn't there a law against necrophilia.

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Conspiracy theories rage as 100 website defacements hit Singapore

Khaptain
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L0pht hommage

I presume that they are called L0pht in hommage to the team of hackers that were relatively well known in the 90s.

Some of you might know the tool known as L0phtCrack which could provide help in "retreiving" lost NT, Windows passwords. ( I think it actually still exists)...

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Silk Road admins: Sorry for the hack, we're sorting out refunds

Khaptain
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Ponzi scheme tactics

So they will be using the next bunch of numpties orders to pay for "reimburse" previously stolen funds.

Isn't that just a slight variation of the typical Ponzi scheme.

Smells like something that I wouldn't want to eat......

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