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* Posts by Khaptain

1914 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Time to pack in your job: Someone FINALLY needs a cat vids curator

Khaptain
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Trollface

Choices choices choices

1 : Work in Pizza store, bad pay but free pizza.

2 : Work in arts festival thing : bad pay but all the best cat videos.

3 : Work in an Apple store: “awesome”, “amazing”, “brilliant"......

Fuck it, I'll become unemployed. Even unemployed Pizza is still affordabe, I get free entrance to the arts festivals, youtube already gives me too many cat videos for free and I won't have to look/behave like a twunt working for Apple...

And I can also reply to El Reg stories......

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Google admits 'garbage in, garbage out' translation problem

Khaptain
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Re: re. chat(s)

They have not yet mastered the use of the Babel Fish......

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CERN outlines plan for new 100km circumference supercollider

Khaptain
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Re: Is that really the best place to build these things?

My apartment is inside that ring, so I would much prefer that they move it to Australia.....ie as far away as possible....

If things went wrong, no-one would miss the Aussies anyway..... Suggestions required for an antipodean icon, possibly an upside down picture of Darwin ( Charles not the city), it could then be usefull for a multitude of comments.

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Think wearables are the next tech boom? Cisco's numbers beg to differ

Khaptain
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Too much smoke

The home computer brought computing into the home and allowed Joe Public access to a plenitude of possibilities.

The portable computer made it "portable", Joe Public could now take his plenitude of possibilities anywhere with him.

The portable telephone meant he could also communicate verbally whilst on the move.

The smartphone meant he could communicate and use his plenitude of possibilities whilst on the move.

The wearables: Difficult to relate them to anything other than fashion accessories or minor appendages to existing hardware. They won't actually give Joe Public anything more than he already has.

Personally I see this as a quick fad UNLESS one of them is capable of producing an interactive holographic image/screen/interface which has 7 day autonomy.

Gartner as usual are a "little overly" optimistic, they must be smoking crack again..... Cisco appear to be smoking on a very little light weed , good for Cisco.

Interesting article all the same

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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

Khaptain
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Go away JMJ - Your time is up.

So after you have bought your music, legally with all the various taxes included, you can then get charged a second time in order to listen to it.

JMJ - Un petit homme qui doit être classé dans les ranges de gens pathétiques.

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We want it HARDER: City bankers survive simulated cyber-war

Khaptain
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Re: Make it more real

I would further add the scenario, probably the most likely, whereby the attackers have inside help.

Imagine the advantage of hacking into an institution when one of your drinking buddies is the BOFH.

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fWHoaR! Trick-cyclists crack eternal mystery of WHAT WOMEN WANT in a man

Khaptain
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Re: Long face, long schlong shurley..?

Bulls have very wide heads AND long schlongs.. therefore they have everything that a woman wants..

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First man/machine nerve grafts restore amputee's sense of touch

Khaptain
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Re: glad to see those minds put to good use

"Does this mean that this guy is now one of the worlds first true cyborgs?"

Not quite at T800 standards but definately getting there.

Impressive work all round, let's pray that the military doesn't invent a less positive use for it.

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How many keys can one keyboard have? Do I hear 200? 300? More?

Khaptain
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Cheat Sheet

Dont forget to print out a cheat sheet which shows where all of the keys are placed.

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Forget ski-jumping – Russians setting records in Sochi visitor hacking

Khaptain
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Re: Malware may be the least of your problems

"The State Department warned that travelers should have no expectation of privacy, even in their hotel rooms."

Welcome to America, Great Britain, China, Russia.

Alternatively, just don't travel anywhere with a laptop, smart phone, computing device, internet connected thingy if your data is that important.

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Crafty French hackers tweak 'My Account' page, slurp 800,000 Orange users' details

Khaptain
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Re: Clarification required

I wonder if they couldn't introduce a 3rd factor by using the NFC feature of newish phones or even something Bluetooth related?

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Khaptain
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Clarification required

The article is slightly confusing about numbers here

1 : Is that 3% of 800 000 users therefore 24 000 accounts

or

2 : 800 000 is 3% of the total users therefore orange has 24 000 000 users.

I verified my own account and did not see any mention of the hacking.. Should I presume that I am safe, no, quick change of password just for the sake of it.

Why is it that the major operators/telcos and ISPs dont force a password change every 6 months for example.

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Anonymous means NO identifying element left behind – EU handbook

Khaptain
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Re: "Data are anonymised ..."

"Data are anonymised " just doesn't roll of the tongue correctly, there are too many hard a's.

Whereas "Data is anonymised " is far easier and therefore sounds/feels more correct.

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Khaptain
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Re: "Data are anonymised ..."

(or even the British)

or the Americans, Canadians and Australians.

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The revival of survival – the gaming genre that refuses to die

Khaptain
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Re: Sir, You Are Being Hunted

@ foxyshadis

Never heard of this either, it reminds me a little of Alone in the Dark...

Tweedpunk Stealth ( quite original if I say say old chap)...

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Khaptain
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Re: Why Zombies

Watch Dogs looks promising, it even has an IT theme. If the game really is as good as the video then it will become a must play... Hopefully there won't be too much travelling/driving about which tends to get really tedious.

Assassins Creed was just far too boring.. Eternally repeating the same missions, shame because some of the places were superb.

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Khaptain
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Why Zombies

If there is one thing detestable in games, it is Zombies. I honestly can't think of anything less appealing that shooting something that is already dead ( well half-dead). The Zombies don't have guns, don't shoot back and are generally unintelligent.... They play the role of mere cannon fodder.

Or are they used solely on the premise that the games companies are "relieved" from the responsability that "Shooting games result in real world scenario shootings" ? Sorry guys but Zombies look a helluva lot like people to me.... ( just not very healthy ones)

How about a game where the targets are the silly law makers, the corrupt politicians and the thieving bankers. No, I am not putting all law makers, politicians and bankers into the same cart, just the bad ones....

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Spiceworks scoops $57m in 'last funding round before IPO'

Khaptain
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Purchasing - No thanks

Trevor,

I didn't fully understand from the article how exactly they will make money. Ok, there will be an app store but what will that AppStore sell that will interest the existing userbase - ( I already pay the vendors for their hardware, I don't want to have to pay them for their apps as well) and I can only hope and pray that it won't sell the SpiceWorks Core App....

SpiceWorks has been free for as long as I can remember and is indeed and excellent tool but should it become "Non-Free" ..........it will probably end up going down the same road as WinRar and Winzip.....

I must admit to not being to happy about this announcement but such is the way of all things Web.......

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'I had a rare Twitter handle... I was extorted into giving it up'

Khaptain
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Re: "I’ve been offered as much as $50,000 for it."

Because the greedy bugger was holding out for someone to offer him 1 Beeeeellion dollars.

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Microsoft veep Satya Nadella now frontrunner in race for CEO spot

Khaptain
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Yes, like having a big bag of cherries and removing all the good ones until all that is left is the rotten, worm eaten, acrid tasting blob of mush that no-one wants.

A lot of existing CEOs in other multinationals must have a pretty negative idea of where Microsoft is going and therefore don't want to be associated.... it would be like jumping on a burning wagon...

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Angry anti-NSA hackers pwn Angry Birds site after GCHQ data slurp

Khaptain
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Re: Keep on popping those NSA piggies

Lol, I had never heard of Godwin's law until mentioned above, OK I will put on my numpty hat and go sit in the corner of the barrel.

I never make any comments regarding Nazis, now that I have I fell straight into the well... We learn something new every day.. That's memetics for ya.

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Khaptain
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Re: Keep on popping those NSA piggies

Stasi works too.

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Khaptain
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Re: Keep on popping those NSA piggies

Strange the similarity between the letters NSA and NAZI....

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This tool demands access to YOUR ENTIRE DIGITAL LIFE. Is it from GCHQ? No - it's by IKEA

Khaptain
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<Quote>However, that doesn't necessary apply to partners.</quote>

This is the phrase that says it all........

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New Doctor Who's new costume newly REVEALED by Beeb

Khaptain
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Re: DMs...Hmmmm

Couldn't agree more about the comfort of DMs. To this day I still buy shoes with a wide fit because that's what DMs provided me with at the time.

I still remember the day I unboxed my first pair of boots, the smell, lacing them up and walking round the block, the dogs bollocks in all glory.......

I was in Edinburgh recently and saw a Dr Martens shops on Princess Street, popped in for nostalgias sake and was stunned by the "cheap" feel of what they are producing now.

I did some Googling on the subject later only to find out that almost all are now made in China or Thailand. Apparently some are still made int he UK but are difficult to find.

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Khaptain
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Right wingish

Cut his hair a bit shorter and we would have the first skinhead Doctor....

On the whole looks quite cool though, it's clean and dynamic.

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BlackBerry makes its devilish Android trickery official in OS update

Khaptain
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The thorn in the foot

The problem with recent BBs are that they now require BES10, Blackberry ( RIM or whatever they are now called) needs to make the phones at least semi-compatible with existing BES servers. Then the corporate buyers would at least accept to include them as possible candidates....

Updating to BES 10 is probably not a major requirement for many of the corporates at the moment.

The phones ready but the essentials are not mainstream.......not an easy position...

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Tech giants CAN disclose US spooks' data demands - but with heavy restrictions

Khaptain
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Is this another way of saying that there are only 250 "potential" world terrorists that use an iPhone ?

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IBM reveals radical email interface rethink

Khaptain
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Request

Please, please, please do not use ANY of the code form the Lotus Notes/Domino code base.

And no, having people's faces on the main page is not a good idea, that is merely pandering to the Facebook crowd ( and we already that they are on their way to extinction)...

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French drug dealers regretfully announce 'temporary closure'

Khaptain
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Re: Allô ?

The following text has been shamelessly copied from the officiel website. It states the primary mission of the Academy.

La mission confiée à l’Académie est claire : « La principale fonction de l’Académie sera de travailler, avec tout le soin et toute la diligence possibles, à donner des règles certaines à notre langue et à la rendre pure, éloquente et capable de traiter les arts et les sciences. » (Article 24 des statuts.)

Cette mission doit se traduire par la rédaction de quatre ouvrages : un dictionnaire, une grammaire, une rhétorique et une poétique ; seul le Dictionnaire sera réalisé par l’Académie. Les autres points du programme seront remplis en dehors d’elle, par des ouvrages qui, à leur manière, feront autorité.

Badly translated by me as follows:

The mission entrusted to the Academy is clear : The principal function of the Academy will be to labour,

with care and with all possibile diligence, to provide the necassary rules for our language

in order keep it pure, eloquant and capable of handling the arts and sciences.

This mission should be interpreted by the editing of four works: a dictionnary, grammar, rhetoric and poetic licence; only the dictionnary shall be created by the Academy. The others will be fulfilled externally to the Acadamy, of which these works, in their own manner, will become authorative.

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Khaptain
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Re: Allô ?

Phil, yes you are correct, I used the quotes in order to highlight the usage of the Anglisicms.

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Khaptain
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Re: Sad Times For the Grenoblois

Agreed, it is difficult to imagine but there are definately "ghetto neighbourhoods" even in the French Alpes.

In the following link, even if don't understand French, you can see the housing scheme known as "La Villeneuve" which is proximity Echirolles, it has become a place of residence for those on a very low income even though intially it was designed for people from all social classes.

http://www.francetvinfo.fr/france/video-la-villeneuve-a-grenoble-radiographie-d-un-quartier-difficile_151117.html

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Khaptain
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Re: Allô ?

Even though "revendeur" would be the correct literary translation, it would be more common to hear people actually use the word "dealer".

Example : Il achete un peu de "shit" chez son "dealer".

Les anglisicms are rife in France et meme s'il faut pas mixer words from different languages, des fois, it is difficult not to.

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Facebook will LOSE 80% of its users by 2017 – epidemiological study

Khaptain
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Sounds about right

Facebook is really no different to Myspace, Yahoo, Compuserve etc they belong to group of non essential things that make up the Interwebs....

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Ofcom says yes to sat broadband on PLANES (and trains and ships)

Khaptain
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500 people sharing 50Mb/s, mmmmmmmmmmm, as he deftly double clicks his favourite torrent client...which has a plethitude of HD Blue Ray rips queued up.

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Khaptain
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New options available

In flight porn on a transat flight, just be carefull who is sitting next to you......

PS : Please ensure that Skype et al are filtered out of the traffic...... No talking during porn sessions if you please..

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Plusnet is working on a network-level filter to block pirate sites

Khaptain
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Re: wait and see

Wake up man, didn't you now that Copyright Infringement and Terrorism are on the same level on the scale of terrible things to do.....

Well at least he RIAA, MPAA et al seem to think so

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Khaptain
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Re: Court Orders.

I wonder if they will also block Google.....

If I want to find pirated stuff the first thing I do is a "Google" search as this is usually quite sufficient in order to find the "pirated" material.

Like many other I also use youtube for watching copyrighted films, ie Full Movies, will they also block youtube ( there are more any more images of Womens Breasts, oooooohhhhhh, on youtube, again they must be blocked for all this evil doing).

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IBM's top brass forgo bonuses after drop in yearly profits

Khaptain
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$4 Million slithers down into the underworld

Oh well I guess I won't be getting that invitation to cruise on her NOT soon to be new yacht..... Saves me from having to buy the Champagne....

Strange I don't rememer my bonus as having been in the 7 digit region.....

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Our robot overlords won't be evil cyborgs: Prepare for whisker-equipped ROBO-KITTIES

Khaptain
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Leather gloves required

If you tug on the said whisker, does a supersonic paw fly out and use it's razor sharp claws on the back of your hand in order to remind you never to pull it's whiskers ?

My cat just gives me a look that says that that is what is going to happen should I even think about doing something even remotely as silly.

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Reading this headline? You and 9.47 million others

Khaptain
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Re: Smarm

Nope, they should be thanking us, otherwise their writings would be just relegated to the level of spacedust within the time continuum.

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Khaptain
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Re: Will it blend?

I thought that the El Reg readership was mainly made up from spineless, gutless IT geeks..... Those intestines would not stretch very far.....

( Of course, I myself am not included in aformentioned stereotyping........)

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Sony brings 4K shooting to the masses in weeks

Khaptain
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Unhappy

Giving a very high end DSLR to a monkey will not produce quality composition.

Giving a 4K video cam to a monkey will still not produce quality composition.

Giving a pencil to a monkey will definately not produce quality composition. ( Hypothetically they can write Shakespearean tradegies but that's only hypothetical).

I agree that there is a "very" limited niche market who could actually put these to good use but that is and will always remain a very niche market.

There is no real mass market appeal in these cams at all, they are just the next marketing gimmick.

Within the question Do I want "Available Internet Bandwidth or Higher quality cat Videos " ?, I know which I prefer because we all know how these cams will end up being used....when the price drops to proloteriat levels.

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Our Milky Way galaxy is INSIDE OUT. Just as we suspected, mutter boffins

Khaptain
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Happy

Many dimensions

I always like to imagine the universe as a torus who's centre is very small and who's outside edges are very very distant. Things evolve/revolve along it's various axes permanently, thereby giving the universe a cyclic nature.

What's here today is gone tommorrow but back again the day after ( on a universal scale that is).

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Ancient carving of 'first human-built holy place' = Primitive Vulture Central

Khaptain
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Re: Ted talks

"Picking at the rotting carcases left behind by IT"

it doesn't really have the same ring to it but it's probably quite reflective.

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Khaptain
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Ted talks

Extract from one of the Ted Talks

"As natural garbage collectors, vultures are vital to our ecosystem -- so why all the bad press? Why are so many in danger of extinction? Raptor biologist Munir Virani says we need to pay more attention to these unique and misunderstood creatures, to change our perception and save the vultures. "

El Reg - Bad Press - never.........

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Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'

Khaptain
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Re: coffee straw???

The idea of drinking "hot" coffee through a straw sounds absolutely painfull...

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Khaptain
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Drama queens

Definate thumbs up for the three wolves, I didn't know that Amazon allowed for comments like that, put a smile on my Monday morning blues face....

Must hold back temptation to buy three howling wolves tshirt.........

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Indian minister's wife found dead after Twitter rampage

Khaptain
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Proof at last

This must Shirley be considered as absolute, undeniable and Darwinian proof that social networking is bad for your health.

Beware, beware the Ides of march.

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Yet another pricey Olympics' exec drafted in by UK.gov - this time for broadband spending

Khaptain
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Canned laughter

Any man that starts a new position with such a statement deserves nothing more than canned laughter rather than applause.

Canned statements = give me money and give me it now......( Then I will calmely fade into non existence)

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