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* Posts by Khaptain

1873 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Reading this headline? You and 9.47 million others

Khaptain
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Re: Will it blend?

I thought that the El Reg readership was mainly made up from spineless, gutless IT geeks..... Those intestines would not stretch very far.....

( Of course, I myself am not included in aformentioned stereotyping........)

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Sony brings 4K shooting to the masses in weeks

Khaptain
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Unhappy

Giving a very high end DSLR to a monkey will not produce quality composition.

Giving a 4K video cam to a monkey will still not produce quality composition.

Giving a pencil to a monkey will definately not produce quality composition. ( Hypothetically they can write Shakespearean tradegies but that's only hypothetical).

I agree that there is a "very" limited niche market who could actually put these to good use but that is and will always remain a very niche market.

There is no real mass market appeal in these cams at all, they are just the next marketing gimmick.

Within the question Do I want "Available Internet Bandwidth or Higher quality cat Videos " ?, I know which I prefer because we all know how these cams will end up being used....when the price drops to proloteriat levels.

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Our Milky Way galaxy is INSIDE OUT. Just as we suspected, mutter boffins

Khaptain
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Happy

Many dimensions

I always like to imagine the universe as a torus who's centre is very small and who's outside edges are very very distant. Things evolve/revolve along it's various axes permanently, thereby giving the universe a cyclic nature.

What's here today is gone tommorrow but back again the day after ( on a universal scale that is).

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Ancient carving of 'first human-built holy place' = Primitive Vulture Central

Khaptain
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Re: Ted talks

"Picking at the rotting carcases left behind by IT"

it doesn't really have the same ring to it but it's probably quite reflective.

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Khaptain
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Ted talks

Extract from one of the Ted Talks

"As natural garbage collectors, vultures are vital to our ecosystem -- so why all the bad press? Why are so many in danger of extinction? Raptor biologist Munir Virani says we need to pay more attention to these unique and misunderstood creatures, to change our perception and save the vultures. "

El Reg - Bad Press - never.........

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Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'

Khaptain
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Re: coffee straw???

The idea of drinking "hot" coffee through a straw sounds absolutely painfull...

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Khaptain
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Drama queens

Definate thumbs up for the three wolves, I didn't know that Amazon allowed for comments like that, put a smile on my Monday morning blues face....

Must hold back temptation to buy three howling wolves tshirt.........

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Indian minister's wife found dead after Twitter rampage

Khaptain
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Trollface

Proof at last

This must Shirley be considered as absolute, undeniable and Darwinian proof that social networking is bad for your health.

Beware, beware the Ides of march.

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Yet another pricey Olympics' exec drafted in by UK.gov - this time for broadband spending

Khaptain
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Canned laughter

Any man that starts a new position with such a statement deserves nothing more than canned laughter rather than applause.

Canned statements = give me money and give me it now......( Then I will calmely fade into non existence)

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Open source project gives cars the Ikea treatment

Khaptain
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Happy

Return to the 70s

That looks an awful lot like a moon buggy, I had a toy one as a kid. With the plans I can now build my own, who knows, today my back yard, tommorrow the moon.......

(Cmon a man has to dream as well you know)

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Foot-loving cat burglar nicks THREE THOUSAND individual socks

Khaptain
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Alternative title

Purring panty purloining pussy pilleged peoples pedes protectors

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Staffs Police face data protection probe over 'drink drivers named' Twitter campaign

Khaptain
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Windows

Is that like revenge porn for Alcoholics ?

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Furtive ebook readers push Hitler's Mein Kampf up the charts

Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: re: Khaptain

@tony2heads

The Smart ones probably wrote it.

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Khaptain
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It's normal that one would get funny looks -

By the very definition of "smart" ( intelligence, acumen), smart people don't need a bible.

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Khaptain
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Holmes

The inside story

Mein Kampf is an insight into who the man was, whether he was a devil or an angel is irrelevant, it is, and should remain an important part of history. ( Those who ignore the past are more likely to repeat it)

The question that should arise is "WHY" an increasing amount of people become interested.

Also, I think it would be a worse thing if there was no longer any interest in this kind of literature.

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Light, fast ... and pricey: Toshiba's Portégé Z30 – now THIS is an Ultrabook

Khaptain
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>1366 x 768

>Yes, here at Vulture Central we're very much aware that many of you will have decided not to read further than that last sentence

Yup, you got that right. Whats the point, YouTube at 144p

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Coffee a memory enhancing drug, say boffins

Khaptain
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I go through phases of drinking gallons of the stuff per day and others where I drink almost none.

Result : my memory is still a shambles whether I drink coffee or not.

I wonder who the sponsor behind this message really was ?

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Pre-Xmas phone numbers: Apple slips, Windows Phone grabs 1 in 10 new sales

Khaptain
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FAIL

Re: Credibility = none

@cambsuk

You do know what the concept of "product placement" means ?

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Khaptain
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Windows

Credibility = none

MS's strongpoint was the desktop.

Nokia's strongpoint was the Cellphone.

The public at large, don't care about either anymore, so MS + Nokia have nothing really left to offer in this market. Neither of them offer any "streetcred" which is what people want/need ( Yes, it's pathetic but that is the result of endless years of adverstising).

MS + Nokia + Smartphone market = A drowning horse flailing about in a sea of modicum...

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US Navy trials GIANT ROBOTIC SPYBIRD for coastal patrols

Khaptain
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Re: The UK should sign up now

Two songs come to mind, both by Bob Dylan

1 : Maggie's Farm

2 : Hard rains gonna fall.

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Thought the toilet camera was weird? Try actual thumb flash drives from tech's supershow

Khaptain
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Re: Thumbs up!

Culbuter in French has several meaning.

The slang version, which is quite common, means to "have sex, f**k, etc". Quite appropropriate given the shape of the "toy".

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Block The Pirate Bay? Arrr, me hearties, new P2P client could sink that plan

Khaptain
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Pint

Necessity

Mother of all invention.

A few of these for the TPB guys , they must be working their asses of at this moment in time----->>>>>>

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Amazon, Hollywood, Samsung: PLEASE get excited about 4K telly

Khaptain
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It still won't entice me to buy a Television ( or a huge screen).

What's needed is quality films not quality screens.

4K should have been named 4C whereby C = consumerism. .....

Do people really feel "immersed" just because of the size of the screen ? Even at the cinema I don't get that impression.

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Dell confirms Chromebook for Blighty

Khaptain
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Re: a token offering meant to be ugly?

@Andy

It is the Corei5 vesion with a 256Gb flash disk and I stand corrected for the price, according to XE.com it about 4 times the price ( taxe inclusive). It also includes the docking station...ooops forgot to mention that.

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Khaptain
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Re: a token offering meant to be ugly?

I just received a XPS11 this morning, lovely little machine, the touch screen makes W8 usable BUT the price is nowhere near the £300, more like 5 times that price.

The machines in this article should not be confused with the XPS laptops which are in a different ballpark.

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Pervy TOILET CAMERA disguised as 'flash drive' sparks BOMB SCARE on Boeing 767

Khaptain
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Re: More training needed?

This is exactly the state that the Governments want the people to be in - a constant state of fear....

The bible bashers did it for long enough and it seemed to work for them.

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Snowden to warn Brits on Xmas telly: Your children will NEVER have privacy

Khaptain
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Definition required

Can someone please define privacy before getting involved in a debate.

Is it the right to remain anonymous whilst doing something legal.

Is it the right to remain anonymous whilst doing something illegal.

The NSA, GCHQ are doing what they have always done, it just seems that now most people actually hand them their details on a plate. You want Facebook et al to remain free, Ok no problem but there is a price to pay.

The internet does not force you to do anything that you don't want to do. If you want privacy; don't do anything in public. The internet is after all very much a public affair..

This is a debate that could go on for ever but at the end of the day each person is responsable for his own acts.

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Android, Chromebooks storm channel as Windows PC sales go flat

Khaptain
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Re: I don't get it

Macbooks look great but they are expensive, most consumers don't understand RAM, SSD, GHz, Pixels etc all they understand is the end price. Either they can afford it or they can't. There really is not a lot more to understand.

The fanbois can argue until they are blue in the face about "intrinsic value" but they don't foot the bill for Joe Punter.

Macbooks don't offer anything of value to the average punter......Proof of the pudding lies in the fact that they will buy iPhones and Tablets ( Samsung or Apple), within which they will find all that they truly require, media consumption and facebook....

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Torvalds: Linux devs may 'cry into our lonely beers' at Christmas

Khaptain
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Alien

Adjectives

It's not easy to find the correct adjectives to describe Linus without sounding rude.

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It's the dream: Bill Gates chucks cash at WEE-IN-YOUR-PHONE project

Khaptain
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Facepalm

Nature Selfies

We might not yet get to know about the bears but now we will get to see the tribal people shitting in the desert/savana.

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Cyanogen grabs $23m, will ship mod-installed N1 smartmobe on Xmas Eve

Khaptain
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Meh

Re: Embrace and extend?

CM is not a threat, why, because it relies on Google's code. CM does not write everything from scratch, they "extend" existing code.

If anything CM actually helps Google by showing what can be improved, modded to a better level or optimised.

CM is not perfect but it is good.

They only downside that I now see though is that they will no longer have to fight like hungry men in order to survive, I am worried that they will start behaving like round bellied managers. Only the future can tell.

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Proposed California law demands anti-theft 'kill switch' in all smartphones

Khaptain
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Mushroom

Re: If this is going to be regulated...

Alternatively, use the Israeli method, a little bit of strategic C4 + remote detonation.... Garaunteed that the thief will never steal another anything....

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First China banned Bitcoin. Now its crooks are using malware to steal traders' wallets

Khaptain
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Re: Serious Question

Mea culpa, I read the article too quickly. What I dont understand is how the malware gets there in the first place ( hence the bad presumption of clicking a link within an email - quite typically it's thru email )

In fact I just realised the article doesn't mention at all how the malware gets to its target.

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Khaptain
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Serious Question

Who in this day and age still for those kinds of emails ? I have a slight suspicion that traders are generally not quite so dumb.

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Macbook webcams CAN spy on you - and you simply CAN'T TELL

Khaptain
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Re: Nothing beats a physical shutter

For the Apple owners we could suggest some Tippex ( white-out)

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Sky rapped over PREMATURE SEXY CONDOM ad

Khaptain
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9Pm deadline

At 9pm it is vital that your children are sent to their bedrooms. The TV programs at that hour are no longer appropriate, your children can find far better porn on the web on their PCs/Tablets/Phones etc..

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James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

Khaptain
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Re: Doctors?

Good news because then you can't be an alcoholic.

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Khaptain
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Gimp

Not so crazy

If I had to wake up every morning, try to save the world, risk getting my balls slapped with a heavy knotted rope, suffer jet lag permanently, endlessly watch my favorite lovely lady getting fed to the lions etc I would probably be on drugs, slightly alcoholic and probably have a very bad attitude..

James Bond actually fares quite well considering the odds.

The yanks got men that wear capes and spandex, we were lucky and got James Bond.....

Long live Bond, James Bond

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Facebook seeks WIDE EYES of sports fans to rival Twitter

Khaptain
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Admen

There will come a time when all software is free, in between the adverts and the subliminal messages you will actually manage to do something with the software although it won't actually have any relevance other than to display the next advert.

Or is that already Facebooks model.......

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Lovers of Tor can now sprinkle Bitcoins on its developers as thanks

Khaptain
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Rise and fall

If these guys declare revenue, then I presume that they will have to pay taxes, what happens should they make a declaration when bitcoin is worth $4000, receive their tax bill, then bitcoin drops down to £200 dollars just before they make their payment?

Due to the volatile nature of Bitcoins, I would consider it an extremely risky means by which to get paid or make any kind os declaration.

Would it not be safer to wait until some stability can be ensured ?

Like the Stock market some people will make money with bitcoins but the majority will end up losing.

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Don't listen to Snowden ... Intel: We've switched on CPU crypto for Hadoop

Khaptain
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Black Helicopters

Cloudy cloud

If it's in the cloud, I don't see how's it possible to retain any form of garauntee.

A cracker requires time before he cracks your code.

Give a safecracker time and he will enter your safe.

The cloud is the element of "time" that is required for the <insert agency/pirate here> to be successfull in pwning your data.

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Microsoft admits: We WON'T pick the next Steve Ballmer this year

Khaptain
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First decision - Split the company

Microsoft has reached it's critical mass, the company should be split into independant entities, each entity with it's own CEO.

Entities : Server and business tools + cloudy stuff, Home platforms + Phones , Applications ( Office ), Gaming and Hardware.

Each entity should remain independant but remain within a commonly shared objective.

I would suggest that One (Wo)Man to Rule them All is no longer valid, the risk for not doing so: implosion..

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Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

Khaptain
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Re: Do you send tweets?

I would suggest neither. I was always under the impression that you simply "tweet".

John tweeted Sally.

Sally re-tweeted John's tweet to Jane.

Jane got upset at the tweet and decided to tweet John directly.

[All sounds just a bit cuckoo really]

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Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack

Khaptain
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Re: What about Tim Cook

>Huh?

Have a look at the little icon on the right hand side, there might have been a little bit of tongue in cheek involved.....

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Khaptain
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What about Tim Cook

Tim Cook was even worse, he tried to "emulate" steve by wearing the jeans and the turtlenecks.... Steve was bad enough with his haircuts etc but it is even worse that someone would want to copy the whole look.

Windows/DOS = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop ( debateable with TIKAM).

MacOs = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

Android = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

Digital/Dec Vax = A true outsider.

Therefore MacOs, Android and Windows are step brothers/sisters.

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Twitterers rally round #CensoredUK - to demand MORE PORN

Khaptain
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We have been on this earth for approx 200 000 years, there was no internet during that time ( minus the last 20 odd years) and yet we managed.....

If you or your children need the internet to learn about sex then your/their problems are far bigger than "learning about sex from the internet".

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Khaptain
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Conundrum

If they block all of the pricks, cunts and twats from the web won't that also block Downing street and the houses of parliament..

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Brilliant Brit bloke builds breakfast-belching BACON DRONE

Khaptain
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Re: Resolve afghanistan war

@Bloakey1

There's a little bit of Blott hiding in there somewhere.

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Khaptain
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Resolve afghanistan war

Send these guys to Afghanistan immediately, if nothing else the Taliban and the soldiers would have a good laugh and maybe put an end to that stupid war.

Would need to swap the bacon for something else though...

Great project, works well , done with humor. Well done guys you have managed to tick off all the correct boxes.

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Steelie Neelie: EU biz can use YOUR private data WITHOUT PERMISSION

Khaptain
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Professional Lobbying

Should we therefore presume that Nelly has now been bought out by big business.

You will now get cheaper roaming charges at the expense of your private data.

Nelly had her own hidden agenda that is now coming to the surface....

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