* Posts by Khaptain

2638 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

Khaptain
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Now do the UberLawyer

If you want to see the laws getting changed very, very quickly, Uber just needs to make an app called UberCunt.

UberCunt will put you directly into the hands of a Cunt, a cheap freeloading lawyer... A la "Better Call Saul", they won't garauntee the quality but they can garauntee that he will be a cunt.

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Whoops, there goes my data! Hold onto your privates in the Dropbox era

Khaptain
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Re: TLDR - Urgent

I don't know how tough the Greeks are but one thing I do know is that the Scots are much more careful with their fionances..... cough cough what debt cough cough 1.9Billion cough cough peanuts cough cough

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Khaptain
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TLDR - Urgent

Please change that terrible image, I can't tell if it's supposed to be a very short techno kilt, or a very digital Spartan garment.....

Ahhhhh, my eyes, my eyes, I can't undo that nasty image. Electronics in the testicular region are never a good thing...

( The Author must be some kind if closet Goatse fan)

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Second agent takes plea deal in Silk Road misconduct case

Khaptain
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Plea deal or not

Just allow the man to occuy the cell next to Ulbricht for the next 25 years without bail..... He deserves nothing more really.

Ulbricht was on the wrong side of the law from the beginning - so he got sent to jail for a long time when he got caught.

The agent on the other hand, used his "cops" badge as a means to levy something illegally.. He should get sent to jail for even longer...otherwise Justce stands fro nothing....

He deserves just as much as Ulbricht.....The courts made an example of Ulbricht, the same level of punishement should be given to the Agent.. both were profiting from the same crime after all.

Or do Agents have some kind of Deity status that allows them to walk free when commiting serious crime?

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US is the world's botnet mothership, says Level 3

Khaptain
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Re: Continent vs country

@Anhilator

Page 6 of that report definitely cites the "United States" as the greatest generator of C2 traffic.

Although on page 7 things become a little bit more confusing

"While nations around the world are represented in the top 10 global offenders list,

the regions generating the highest levels of C2 traffic are Europe and the United

States. An average of 20 percent of the C2s we tracked were based in North America

with a nearly equal amount launching from the Ukraine and Russia combined.

Western Europe1 and the United Kingdom contributed another 12 percent of C2

traffic. Latin America was the source of only 2 percent of the overall C2 traffic."

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Khaptain
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Who owns the botnets

Whether or not they are in the US or elsewhere is not half as important as is "who is controlling/governing these botnets".

Some suggestions

The NSA playing havoc with the world.

The Mafia etc

The Chinese/Russian/Bulgarians/Syrians.

The Farc Rebels

The British ( they are a bunch of sneaky bastards) ?

The Mossad or Shin Bet ?

The Illumunati ? ( ooooohhhhhh, I can hear than damned music in the background, I think it was one of those Apple Garageband tunes))

So many possibilities ....so many stories

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Tim Worstall dances to victory over resources scaremongerers

Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: Vulture

Tim did you really need a mike for an audience of 8....

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Khaptain
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Vulture

Is that a vulture on the shelf in the top left hand corner ?

And no-one looks cool with a telephone clipped to their belt. Or at least I think it is a telephone, probably a Blackberry but I could be wrong.. ( Or is it a beeper)

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THIS TIME we really are ALL DOOMED, famous doomsayer prof says

Khaptain
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Re: Obligatory xkcd

"http://xkcd.com/1338/"

So there are about 5 kilos of human for every kilo of goat. ... Was there a hidden steganography message that I didn't see or is the image some form of charade ?

There is a relevance to this article somewhere but unfortunately I still don't get it

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Khaptain
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Careful

Be careful folks, he only needs to be right once..... Ironically though he won't be around to gloat if he does manage to get it right

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Vicious vandals violate voluminous Versailles vagina

Khaptain
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"I mean, the exhibit could be called, "sore throat", and nobody would have been any the wiser."

Yes, I agree with you, but nobody would have found any interest if it had been a "sore throat"..

Large scale vaginas/vulvas appear to more readily attract the unwashed and the curious.

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Khaptain
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Headmaster

"I'm trying to get a job as an El reg proofreader, OK?"

I didn't think that El Reg used proofreaders.

(P.S. Shouldn't that 'r' be in uppercase)

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Khaptain
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Re: YELLOW paint?

Now that's an interesting place to put 3 large scale "orifices"....

It one thing to turn your head when driving along a straight road, it's another to do it when you are on a roundabout....

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Khaptain
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Re: Finally!

Froggy fools foul famous fake fanny

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Sharing Economy latest: Women's BREAST MILK is the new 'liquid GOLD' of the internet

Khaptain
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Re: Mmm...

I've never seen a more appropriate pseudo.

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Khaptain
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Re: Straight from the teat.

@khaptain Apparently each mother comes with an official tasting unit created with every new production run.

Who the fuck downvoted that, it's a witty and merits a chuckle or did you not understand the comment.

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Khaptain
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Re: They must be hungry

It's all a question of cleavage appetite.....

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Khaptain
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Re: Caution advised

I didn't know that fathers could breastfeed...

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Khaptain
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"pays to have his milk swallowed"

TFTFY

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Khaptain
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Straight from the teat.

Can this now give rise to a new measurement, for example : Mammalian Cubits.

It would also be interesting to know how they qualify and guarantee the quality. Do they have an official "taster"....

El Reg have only done a half arsed job, the photos are "absolutely essential" in this article...

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'No evidence' Snowden was working for foreign power says ex-NSA boss

Khaptain
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So finally Snowden was a good thing or not

Like most of the massive behemoths that the governmental institutions create it is necessary to give them a bloody good shake from time to time in order for them to avoid imploding.....

The Snowden affaire has given them a little shake, quite a big one really, I wonder if it will be enough to waken up all these civil servants from their civil slumber.

These institutions appear to have too much slack and I always wonder who's interests they really serve. I hope this serves then as a reminder that they are a public not a private service..

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DuckDuckGrow: Privacy search soars 600% after Snowden dumps

Khaptain
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Yes, I wondered about this too.. Piggybacking Google et al will be fine until Google closes the tap....

Duck Duck are not a search engine, they are more of a search engine federator/filterer which is definitely not the same thing...

Everyone actually benefits from Google, Business and Users, the price to pay is your "habits"... If someone came up with an ad-free search engine that you have to pay but were guaranteed privacy for then I presume that no one would pay.

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Zionists stole my SHOE, claims Muslim campaigner

Khaptain
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Or the colour of our skin, or our genders, our weight, height, eye colour, breathing pattern, ionic distribution spread etc etc

We will always find a means to segregate, it's in our nature.

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Khaptain
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Description of the thief

The police have issued a description of a man wearing a large furry hat, what appears to be dreadlocks ( 2 of), has only one leg, impeccable lock picking skills, capable of hopping very silently, speaks Yiddish and has a severely bad taste in shoes.

Now that cant be to hard to pick out, in fact I think I can see him trying to escape

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POD RACING: SpaceX will build the Hyperloop railgun tube-way – you bring the ride

Khaptain
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Re: No human will ride

So instead of a sticky Garfield stuck on the window, it will be a real live kitty going through 6Gs of acceleration.. Could be amusing to see how what happens when someone re-opens the pod door..

Here kitty kitty, my eyes, my eyes..... where's my shotgun.

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Has marketing grabbed the IT reins at your company?

Khaptain
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Board-room woes

I truly hope that the meeting is not in that room with the space invaders wallpaper and that green psychedelic painting.

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Voyager 2 'stopped' last week, and not just for maintenance

Khaptain
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Re: How do the manage the fuel

"I'm curious. What sort of person reads The Register, but doesn't know where Voyager 2 gets its electric power from? (Isn't that in the GCSE science curriculum?)"

The kind of reader who doesn't study much about space exploration.. and who is probably a lot older than you might think..

Being Scottish we didn't have GCSEs and we certainly didn't have a "science" class. We had Chemistry, Physics, Engineering Drawing and Mechanical Engineering.. none of which included any mention of Voyager 2 or it's power source. At least not when I was in School, although things may have changed since.

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Khaptain
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Re: How do the manage the fuel

Thanks for the answers, I must admit that most of that is completely, and I mean completely, over my head...

And all that was 40 years ago.....before the interwebs and interplanetary communication......

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Khaptain
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How do the manage the fuel

I am amazed to read launched in 1977 and still has years of fuel left.

What kind of fuel is used on these craft, is it nuclear or carbon based and how are they actually propelled/steered?

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FBI: Apple and Google are helping ISIS by offering strong crypto

Khaptain
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Re: Because....

"True, but irrelevant. The point is whether a particular technology tends to facilitate a negative outcome to the point where any positive effects are negated"

"facilitate a negative outcome" - Sorry, you lost me here, "Nothing" can facilitate a negative outcome more than thought, so let's ban evil thoughts..

"we routinely shot up livestock carcasses"

I hunt, therefore I shoot live animals, yes, I know that damage that hunting caliber rounds can do.

" we still ended up with an accidental death"

So someone didn't follow procedure resulting in a death, do we blame the inanimate object or ht eperson handling the said object.. Every year on building sites people are killed for the same reason, it's not the equiment to blame unless that equipment fails...which is extremely rare on a gun.

"...or a bomb, nerve gas, arsenic, anthrax ...all of which could be argued to fall under the definition of "bear arms"."

Exactly my point, if you ban guns you have to ban everything else. Just banning guns changes nothing.

"It has every importance because people are fickle and emotional creatures. Essentially, if you make it difficult to kill someone there is a chance that tempers may cool and common sense be restored."

If such were the case, then again we should be banning knives and a thousands other implements too.

"However some people are just bad tempered drunks. The vast majority of gunshot victims aren't targeted by relentless, dedicated assassins."

Case in point, I was in a bar in London when a drunk guy decided it would be a good iea to stick a pint glass in my face.. Let's just say that I still have a nice reminder of the incident.

So now we will ban glasses in bars and every one should drink from rubber cups at a distance of 2m....

"Of course not. Killing people is what soldiers fundamentally exist to do. It would be as daft as taking explosives away from quarrymen."

And yet even before the days of the gun, Soldiers still managed to do their business.

"Killing people is what soldiers fundamentally exist to do"

I believe the definition is more along the lines of defending their country.... Soldiers are people by the way....With our without guns they know how to kill.

"However some people are just bad tempered drunks. The vast majority of gunshot victims aren't targeted by relentless, dedicated assassins."

In that case, ban Alcohol, which is the cause....

After you ban guns and killing continues what will you blame then, the true cause always resolves to that of the killer i.e. Human Beings......

Guns are just a means, they are not the cause..

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Khaptain
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Re: Because....

@Lysenko

Never ever make the mistake of believing the guns kill or that guns are dangerous because inherently they are not...

People are dangerous and people kill, with or without guns......

A gun is an inanimate object, just as is a hammer, an iron bar or a stone.

By your own point of view we should also ban martial arts and anything that could be used to harm others... In that case people would have to remain at home all day long because all homicides are caused by people not by inanimate objects...

If someone intends to kill another, the tool that might be used or not has no importance... All that matters is the intention and the determination.... Someone intent on killing will always find the means....

There were no guns around during the mythical bilblical period, or more historically before the 13th century and yet killing has always been a favorite pastime of the powerfull overlords...

Dont you see the connection, some people are simply bad, and their objectives will always be obtained regardless of the means that are available..

Do you think we should also remove guns from soldiers ?

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Khaptain
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Re: Because....

The Gun Debate in the USA appears to have become just another tool in the arsenal of the politicians to actually avoid discussing much more important issues.

It makes for great media coverage and yet it only represents a nano percentage of the death toll.

The rights and wrongs of owning firearms and the 2nd amendment debate are merely smoke and mirrors whilst the real issues are ignored.

The 1st question that should be addressed is why people feel the need to defend themselves. Who or what is creating this fear ? Is it because violent crime has gone up, OK what is the cause for this crime.

How much is caused by the inequality that the greedy politicians and corrupt businessmen have created ? Can't we address these issues first ?

Just how does one go about resolving Human Greed ?

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Khaptain
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Some more stats before you ban Guns because there are a lot of other things to be prioritised

1 : Coronary Heart Disease = 370 198

2 : Lung Cancer = 156 250

3 : Lung Disease = 144 636

4 : Stroke = 128 974

5 : Alzheimers = 84 000

6 : Diabetes = 75 576

12 : Suicide = 41 143

18 : Road traffic = 34 946

27 : Homicide = 16 000

You are far, far, far more likely to die from one of the other 26 causes than you are from being murdered with a firearm. And those homicide figures are not necessarily firearms related.

The FBI states that around 65% of homicides are firearm related.

From the approximate 1.4 Million deaths per year, homicide represents around 1.14% and therefore firearms related deaths about 0.74%. And in this 0.74% there are a high percentage of suicides, gang related violence and accidental deaths.

In other words, guns are very unlikely to be the cause of your death in the USA unless you are a gang member, have suicidal tendancies or don't practice safe handling methods.

Whilst heart disease and cancer collectively represent around 90% .

So let's ban Fast Food, Television and the MEDIA before we ban guns.

All figures were extracted from http://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/usa-cause-of-death-by-age-and-gender

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Khaptain
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Re: There is a great deal of

I often wonder how many the major powers are hoping that this IS thing will escalate a lot further.....

Wars are always good for the economy...

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Khaptain
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Guns and stuff

Will the FBI all also be making a future claim that all weapons manufacturing in the USA should also be stopped since ISIS use guns and other weapons, some of which might actually be of American origin......

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Fanbois designing Windows 10 – where's it going to end?

Khaptain
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The government specifications actually recommended buying three fish but the committee like fish, as mentioned above, therefore they decided that a horse would be better. They love French wine but they don't care for French horse, even when cooked "à point".

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Khaptain
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"What is the difference between a "design by democracy" process with a biaised sample and the age old "design by comitee" process?"

two very important points:

1 : The democracy do not know what day it is.

2 : The committee knows that it is almost time for lunch.

Conclusion:

The democracy make decisions based solely on their ignorance whereas the committee make decisions based upon their desire for smoked salmon accompanied with a glass of Viré Clessé.

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Naked cyclists take a hard line on 'aroused' protest participant

Khaptain
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Re: @Trevor_Potts again

@Trevor

If you know in advance that you suffer from sporadic or unintentional erections then it is perfectly reasonable to assume that you would be prepared to take appropriate action before or during such an event should it "arise" ( pun intended). For example, you could wear extremely baggy trousers/shorts in order that no-one would be aware of the aforementioned afflication. In the case of a gun owner, his reponsability would be to conceal carry.

If however you already know about your afflication and you decide to walk through the park wearing thin white spandex shorts whilst taking the occasional glance at the local sunbathing, penis fearing , sunday school, virgin beauties then quite possibly you could be considered as having the "intent" to shock.......In the case of a gun owner, walking about Central Park whilst actually holding a cocked ( pun intended) and loaded pistol in your hand would be probably be considered "intent" to incite reaction.

"Intent" is probably not so easy to prove but I think in many cases it could be shown that insufficient care was taken to mitigate the risks....

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Khaptain
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Re: @Trevor_Potts again

I would suggest the following:

* Someone carrying a gun or an erect penis around, is not a problem.

* The problem, if there was to be one, would lie within the "intent" that the person has with the aforementioned item(s).

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Khaptain
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Re: Been there, done that...

@Dewix

Quote

1 : They play to the international view that we are all posh horse riders or pregnant by 14.

2 : Challenge: Pick up a red top paper (sun, star, mirror) and find a page without sex or sports.

The 2nd statement kind of confirms the end of the 1st statement....

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Microsoft: Here's what you'll cough up for Windows 10 next year

Khaptain
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Free Legal Torrent for all

How about they make a legally available torrent for once....and keep everybody happy. And while we are at it, how about removing all this Home, Pro, Enterprise marketing crap...

One version, legally available for download, upgradeable from all versions, even 8.1, would make a lot of people very happy..

We know that the subscription versions are coming, it's not a secret, so why not get off to a flying start rather than a lacklustre one...

[Windows 10.1, just sign this long term leasing form and it's yours for the meagre sum of only 10$ per month - for the Home version... ]

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Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

Khaptain
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Re: It's notice-ware not adware

How to remove this "I did not request this to be shoved in my face publicity adware"...

http://superuser.com/questions/922068/how-to-disable-the-get-windows-10-icon-shown-in-the-notification-area-tray

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Equinix moves into Europe by slurping up Telecity

Khaptain
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Misleading title

I visited Equinix's data centre here in Geneva ( Centre Confederation) about 6 years ago and at that time they considered the facility as being old.....

Not really what I would title as "moves into Europe" especially when they now have 32 data centeres in Europe and the Middle East....obviously they didn't all date back to this morning.

Here is a link showing their EMEA centres

http://www.equinix.ch/locations/europe-colocation/europe-data-centers/

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Libre Office comes to Android

Khaptain
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pre-Alpha UAT ?

"basic editing capabilities, like modifying words in existing paragraphs and changing font styles such "as bold and italic.”"

You had me there, for a moment I thought the article was serious.

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Who's the big Swiss bunch that wants to take Sir Jony's lunch? It's... SWATCH!

Khaptain
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Business Choices - Nick you are going to fail big time....

Either you have a quality product or a cheap product and I can't think of many things worse that cheap electronics....

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Sex disease surge in US state partly blamed on hook-up apps

Khaptain
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I would suggest that having sex with the wrong people is the primary culprit....

The problem lies with the fact that you do not get to know in advance who the good ones are...

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Multiple fondling on the MIGHTY 12-INCH iOS 9 SLAB — so, so close now

Khaptain
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Coat

Multiple apps but ...... (wait for it)

Only one menu bar... yup it's a Mac

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Google DOG WHISTLING fails to send URLs across the room

Khaptain
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Black Helicopters

Ulterieur Motive

So while you are surfing the web, Google will be communicating with your Fridge, Ipad, Hoover, Car, Wife's favourite electronic massage device etc....

I couldn't possibly think of how this could be used against someone, no sirreee....

Don't be evil !!!!!!!!

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Robocalling Americans? That'll cost you $1.7 MEEELLION

Khaptain
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Get the ball rolling

I can't think of any companies that deserve more than these bastards to get hung out to dry for their consistant "harcellement" of the general public.

It's time that all this nonsense stops. Automatic or manual outgoing telephone marketing/racketeering campaigns should simply be forbidden unless the client has specifically given their authorisation to be called.

The telcos know by the numbers who is doing this shit, so it's not like we don't know about them. When someone makes a couple of thousand outgoing calls every morning/afternoon it is not difficult for a telco to keep track of them.....

[ Specifically meaning haven taken the time to handwrite a letter to the marketing agency].

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Candlelit vigil planned to honour executed Newcastle cow Bessie

Khaptain
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Re: Subtle Alternative

@JimmyPage : the cow may have managed to charge onto a busy road

I have just spent a couple of weeks driving around South Africa, mostly the KZN, Swaziland, Mpumalanga and Limpopo regions.

There are cows and goats and people all over the place and I mean on 2 lane roads where the speed limit is 120Km/h. It's not even unusual to see people crossing the motorways on foot...Taxis Minibuses will stop "anywhere" to pick up people, it's like driving through a gauntlet. Anyone that has driven there will attest to what I am saying.

Any yet it doesn't seem to create the slightest problem for the locals or even for myself.. Yo drive carefully and look whats in front of you... Driving at night is considered as "madness" but in the daytime things are fine.. So why is it that in England, it takes 20 cops and a helicopter to stop one cow form "potentially" creating a little bit of damage... whereas in SA there are literally thousands of goats/cows/meatbags all over the place and no-one lifts and eyebrow.....

This is nothing more than the cops having a fun day out with their one and only hunting rifle... The helicopter alone would probably cost around 1500 Euros per 15 minutes of flight... not to mention 20 cops, cars and all the tralala that accompanies them... Plus the rifles "marksman"... Shit it would probably have been cheaper to simply let the cow run out of steam and send in a tractor/trailor

When a nation becomes spoonfed, they become helpless.. Kind of confirms the idea of a "nanny" state.

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