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* Posts by Khaptain

1892 posts • joined 4 May 2008

BYOD is boring - how about working on a games console instead?

Khaptain
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BYOD - A dead end street

If the company accepts that I use my own personal device for doing company work I wonder if the beancounters would also agree that I use my personal bank account to store companies profit ?

I also wonder who is sponsoring El Regs to constantly push BYOD......

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Now your iPhone apps can be FAT losers: Apple gobbles data diet upstart

Khaptain
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Misread title

Did anyone else misread that title as being "Now your iPhone apps can be FART losers.".

For a minute there I thought the fanbois were going to lose their eponymous Apple Fart Apps.

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Selfie twerks its way into the dictionary

Khaptain
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Re: Selfie, Girl Crush, Twerk

But let's be fair, the average UKer's grasp of English is little more than a drunken grunting these days.

Effectively, certain cities almost require a full time translator.....London EastEnders, Geordies, Brummies, the Scots ( and I am a Scot) and that's before they have a drink in them.....

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Khaptain
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Re: Selfie, Girl Crush, Twerk

Just turn on CNN/MSNBC/FOX, or any other talk or reality show from North America and these words cover 90% of the topics and vocabulary. Your statement should include the phrase "..over the mental age of 11.."

The Americans are excused, they don't speak English anyway, they speak "Ameracun" or "mericun" which is more of an "effort at vocalisation" than a full blown spoken language.....

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Khaptain
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Selfie, Girl Crush, Twerk

Selfie, Girl Crush, Twerk : Are anyone of these "words" used by anyone over the age of 11 ?

I would have thought that Selfie was a synonym for masturbation....

I must be getting old, i don't know anyone of the words that were listed. I don't do Facebook , Twitter or post teenage photos of myself on the web either, so maybe it is normal that I do not know them....

The OED must be struggling for something to do..

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Tor usage up by more than 100% in August

Khaptain
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Anonymity

The word Anonymity has never meant so much since Tor exists.

There is a darker side to the DeepWeb but it has always existed on the normal web as well, it was just a case of knowing where to look.

But the Tor is also useful for browsing other subjects which can be taken out of context and used against you. Ask anyone that has an interest in firearms, explosives, spy gadgets, cannabis, ( the list can go on for a long time) if they feel safe browsing the normal web nowadays. ( OK explosives is a bit overboard but from a technical point of view a very interesting subject)

I don't want or need Google et al recording everything that I am doing online, even if I am simply surfing for games or guitars: that is my business and I would like to keep it that way.

It's no longer about wearing tinfoil hats through choice, it has almost become a necessity.

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Eggheads turn Motorola feature phone into CITYWIDE GSM jammer

Khaptain
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Re: Useful Targeted Attack?

Stopping drug dealers, snitches or lookouts from informing their colleagues as a bust goes down.

Stopping kids/students/adults from cheating during exams etc.

Stopping employees from spending their day talking to their kids, familly, friends or lovers during woking hours.

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Khaptain
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Re: Shame its' not very portable

@ac 09:09

At first I thought you were joking but after a little searching I can see that they really do exist albeit for slightly more expensive, around the 70€ mark for the smaller ones..

Very, very tempting....

If I have understood correctly using a cell phone on public transport in Japan is very much frowned upon, I don't see why we can't have the same over here in Europe. If I play my music too loud my neighbours can call the cops on me for disturbing the peace. Why do the same rules not apply on a train or a bus when the idiot next to you is yammering away to his girlfriend about something that someone once wrote of Farcebook.......

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Khaptain
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Shame its' not very portable

I would love to have one of these for my tram journey to and from work, it would be peace perfect peace.

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Three axes data-roaming fees in SEVEN countries

Khaptain
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Re: Yeah, it's surprising...

"I realize that roaming is a bit profit source for them but I would have assumed one of them would have "broken ranks" years ago."

What is commonly known as "price fixing" an area in which the telecoms operators are kings of the jungle.... Three have taken the leap , let's pray the others are forced to follow.

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Khaptain
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Blighty takes the lead - for once

I just pray that Orange, SFR or one of the other French operators starts to offer the same thing. I live and work on the French/Swiss border and I have to carry 2 phones because of the ridiculous roaming charges. ( I an pretty much garaunteed that Swiss Telecom or Orange.ch will definately not follow suit)

I can be in my apartment in France but my damned telephone connects to the Swiss network ( to the same damned operator - Orange). It can be a real pain the arse and costly when I forget to check which network I am on..

( Data roaming is switched off on both phones otherwise my salary would go directly to the operators - bastards)

Roaming for me is a simple as going for a jog round my neighbouhood and the phone switches several times between the French and the Swiss operators. So it's not usefull just for those that go on holiday.

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Web showered in golden iPhone 5S vid glory - but is it all a DISTRACTION?

Khaptain
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What a title

iPhones and Golden Showers..............fitting really............

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Microsoft: YES Windows 8.1 is finished, but NO you can't have it

Khaptain
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One question to rule them

There is only one question that most people want answered, I wont say it though because to many El Commentards get all upset.

Does it or does it not ...........................

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Did Google's Waze gobble run rivals off the road? UK watchdog starts probe

Khaptain
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Alternatives exist - what's the problem

No one is forced to use Waze, there are alternatives, some are free and some are not.

Also 50 Million is actually quite a small segment of the market, waze has no monopoly and even the product itself is in a niche market.

I do not know about anyone else but I personally use Waze for the Radar information, for which I can no longer "legally" use any of the alternatives on the market. ( French law sucks on this point).

I am sure that if someone had a better product, for the same price, then I would use it but at the moment there isn't. I have also have paid for mapping/routing software but it does not supply the radar alerts so I use Waze.....

Besides the Radar part the rest of the program is a bit "childish" and I have difficulty seeing how they are creating any kind of monopoly.

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United Nations to grill US over alleged NSA bugging of its HQ – report

Khaptain
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Re: Move out?

You obviously don't know read much in the news about Switzerland. There are probably more top level criminals, or at least their monies, here than anywhere else in the world.

Switzerland is absolutely amazing at "marketing" its own image, what goes on behind the scenes is a whole other ball game.

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Facebook unwraps SHARING IS CARING photo album function

Khaptain
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Re: "El Zuck should calm down a little"

He is/was also excited about the idea of providing an internet coneciton to the worlds starving populations....

@Mitch I am sure that you meant "Dodgy" or was the doggy a little lapsus révélateur......

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Khaptain
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I admit to trolling a little but at the same time El Zuck should calm down a little. Facebook is not a platform capable of doing everything and anything, which apparently he would like it to do.

I was morever making a jibe at the "in ways that we're not even thinking of" remark... It is one of the most egotistical and false remarks that can be made by anyone.

Obviously the CP remark was going rile up someone.... such is the way with the web these days.....

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Khaptain
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"really excited for launch because we think people will use [shared albums] in ways that we're not even thinking of".

If someone post CP, will Zuckerberg be held reponsable ?

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Why Teflon Ballmer had to go: He couldn't shift crud from Windows 8, Surface

Khaptain
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Bad bosses adn failures

A bad boss will always be remembered for his failures. Vista, W8, WP etc...

Most people will very likely forget though, that Windows 7, Server 2008 also falls under Ballmers reign. Both of these are excellent products.

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Tesla tops $20bn as Elon Musk claims arm-wave design tech

Khaptain
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Re: Battery life

I can confirm as the OP my remark was for 5000 on a single charge.

Hell, we can send spacecraft to Mars and fly to Australia non-stop but a car always seems limited to approx 650 Miles ( 1000Kms) for a relatively modern low consumption model. ( I knowe that there are other constraints and factors but common I am sure that they know how to greatly improve consumption already, it's just that they haven't completed the financial model).)

I love the idea of electric cars, I hate the idea of them being very, very expensive although I know that this is not Musks' own fault... If I buy a car which keeps my tied down to the provider of Electric or Fossil fuel I will never attain the freedom that "transport" pretentiously offers.

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Khaptain
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Battery life

I would be nice if he could invent a battery that lasted for 5000 miles and a car that cost no more than 5000 dollars ( without the options )..

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Air mattress blast blows German man across room

Khaptain
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Re: Explanation for the explosion

The next Guy Fawkes night really could be one to remember then. ( 1/2 dozen butane filled aerosls and the night goes boom, literally)

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Khaptain
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Explanation for the explosion

One single aerosol can was able to create this much damage !!!! Can anyone explain if this really is possible.

I remember as a kid throwing aersols onto bonfires ( don't try this at home folks) there were little explosions but certainly nothing that could blow a door off its hinges.

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Chinese authorities say massive DDoS attack took down .cn domain

Khaptain
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Re: This is a different kind of war

Cyberwarfare is not only about being able to destroy networks, it is also about being able to use the networks to your advantage.

Twiiter and Facebook were/are extremely powerfull tools used during the ArabSpring.

Knocking out WallStreet, DNS servers, the Banking Networks ( backbones) all create minor but very rapid disurbances. We've seen quite a bit of these recently.

Hacking ; The capacity to feed false information or modify existing information can be an extremely powerfull tool. Knocking our or modifiying distribution chains or networks, modifiying transport lines.

If you deploy a few of these ideas from a yet unknown botnet you have the power to create minor havoc. One element on it's own is never a problem but the accumulation of several can really have an impact.

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Khaptain
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This is a different kind of war

Until recently only countries, nations or religious leaders had the power to create wars. Today network experts are just as capable, it really does change a lot of about histroy will be written.

The enemy can now be thousands of kms away or even in your own back yard. He is unknown, even "Anonymous", he could be 17 years old, alone or in a team. He could be the government or a poor individual with a grudge.

And he doens't even own a gun, spear, catapult or even a stone.......but he sure does know how to use a keyboard.....

The times they are a changing......

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Huawei Ascend P6: Skinny smartphone that's not just bare bones

Khaptain
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The Brand Name (vocalisation)

There is something about the name "Huawei" that just immediately puts me of buying their kit.

Sony, Apple, Microsoft, Google, Samsung, Bang and Olufsen, those names sound OK but "Huawei" just doesn't cut the cheese.

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What Surface RT flop? Nokia said to be readying WinRT slab for September

Khaptain
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Bill Gates to his mother

Quick , ma, come quick. That nasty boy from microsoft is throwing stones and he's breaking all the Windows.......

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Pulsars: the GPS beacons of the cosmos

Khaptain
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Re: Why is my prime meridian wobbling?

Effectively, after a quick Wikipedia search, these 2 articles state the approxiamate dates for believing that the earth was flat.Flat Earth and Myth of the Flat Earth, it was actually a very long time ago, pre 300 BC when "educated" men began to accept the spherical version.

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Khaptain
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Re: Why is my prime meridian wobbling?

The problem with maps is that they exist, in a meaningfull / complete state, only "after" someone has been where you are going ( and then relates the information to a map maker - or does it himself).......

The world was flat until someone went over/round the edge. The maps before then had some "anomalies".......

I am sure that when/if we learn to travel great distances in space we will learn that it is different from what we imagined/assumed/guessed/calculated.

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Holiday HELL: Pourquoi, monsieur, why is there no merdique Wi-Fi here?

Khaptain
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Re: A sad inditement on modern society

Isn't that exactly one of the reasons that TPB is so popular and I mean for the legit stuff. It is far easier to download a TPB copy than it is to rip legally owned material.

( Obviously without Wifi, TPB is difficult ).

PS : I wonder what "terms" the Germans use for the Brits....

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Khaptain
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Re: Right-angle poo

If it was in Paris then I presume that "Tuyau de merde" would have been the common phrase although not the technicaly correct one.

Technically it might be "tuyau d'evacuation".

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Tat bazaar eBay takes a rest for 'scheduled maintenance', goes offline

Khaptain
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Re: So Passe Darling

" fans of second-hand goods cannot presently bid for a pair of old smelly shoes on the popular online tat bazaar."

But isn't that a relatively correct description of what ebay is...

By the way "passe" has an accented e - Passé ( do people really still use that phrase) Nothing like a nice piece of pedantry on El Reg.....

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Khaptain
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To quote Alanis Morissette

Isn't it Ironic......

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UK mulls ban on tiny mobiles to block prison smugglers

Khaptain
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Re: Simple solution ...

That already exists, but it is only valid for MPs, certain business people, some members of the police force and anyone on David Cameron's payroll.

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Bank man: System's down, let's have coffee. Oh SNAP, where's all the CASH?

Khaptain
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Some questions

Can't the banks implement some kind of token/key/passphrase system which would prohibit movement without the "owner" first supplying his consent......

Is it really possible for someone, other than an exisitng bank employee, to have the know-how to actually perform these kind of transactions.

How is it possible to hide bank transactions when most banks have signed treaties against money laundering, theft, mafia etc which allows things to be traced, relatively simply.... ( The Swiss and various other minority thief countries are excused).....

If the banks are not secure what alternatives do we really have : Bitcoins ?

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Oz sawbones extract fork from old boy's todger: Gents, start your wincing

Khaptain
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Re: OW!

The doctor considered the idea of extracting the fork without an anaesthetic but was worried that the patient would enjoy the procedure......

I just measured a fork, approx 28mm wide, 193mm long..... That's a painfully large object to have stuck inside your stomach never mind your penis.

What's next a piece of cactus...

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Sony sets dates for US and Euro PS4 unleashment amid Xbox heckles

Khaptain
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Re: "Sony wasn't forgetting its older-platform customers"

Surprise , surprise, most transexuals are left-handed.

Makes me wonder if Google are capable of keeping track of who is "left-handed" because they probably already know who is transexual, live in in Tasmania and have already searched for "mod PS3 + Linux".

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Bitcoin blitzkreig as Germans prepare to tax virtual currency

Khaptain
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Job Vacancy - Darknet Tax officer

"Apparently" there is quite a lot of bitcoin activity going on in the Darknet ......... and it doesn't appear as though there are too many Darknet Tax Officers making rounds....

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Khaptain
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Re: Blitzkrieg

Something very ironic about this, lol...... And who says that the Germans don't have any humour...

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LinkedIn lowers age of consent to 13

Khaptain
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Puberty problems

At 13 years old the majority of teenagers have a lot more problems with puberty than with deciding upon their final career.

This sounds more like a requirement to boost numbers rather than provide any reasonable service.

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Amazon DISAPPEARS from internet

Khaptain
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Re: No, it is not Bruce Willis and Jeff Goldblum

Worse still, we might actually be experiencing the wrath off

..........drum roll ........

........wait for it........

.........EADON...........

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New tool lets single server map entire internet in 45 minutes

Khaptain
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Devastation United

There is absolutey no doubt that a dark version of this tool will spring up as fast as an Interweb-Zuck-Meme.........

The daring virus, malware, spammer etc won't have to wait hours or days for meaningfull results, instead they will only be waiting minutes..... I hear a distant bell ringing "Moore's Law" doesn't only apply to IC, it also appears to apply to many different technologies/ideas.

Encoding the details in the returned packet, simple and very clever...... Kudos to the researchers.

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Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak disses Ashton Kutcher's Steve Jobs

Khaptain
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Re: Anpther Steve Jobs Movie?

Then why can't they do the same thing with Tim Cook ?

PS : I have never owned an Apple product so no Fanboism coming from my part. I recognize Steve Jobs as an excellent engineer the marketing genius though.

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Kiwi jetpack gets all-clear for manned tests

Khaptain
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You could nip down to the "not so local, say 30kms away - where that fine secretary drinks" pub, have a pint or three, get back , park the jetpack in the garage, quietly, and the missus would think you had only been out walking the dog....

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Bug-finder chucked for posting to Zuck

Khaptain
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Boffin

Re: Pay the guy!

"And re-instate his account, of course."

He is far better of without it.....

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Fiendish fake Flash plugin squirts grumble-flick ads into kiddies' websites

Khaptain
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Easy solution

All that needs done is to do is ban "children"... It would be far easier than banning everthing else and the internet could go on as normal.

Just how does one get in contact with David in order to share this little miracle cure.

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Facebook's request to the flash industry: 'Make the worst flash possible'

Khaptain
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Re: I'd buy that

"Hmmm anals and whopper eh? Maybe use annals and big next time...you got Paris all excited."

Lol, The spell checker was feeling horny....

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Khaptain
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Re: I'd buy that

"but I don't dare throw away, because I might need that data someday."

No need to worry, 1980's porn has evolved, today we have moving pictures........

PS : I have upgraded, replaced all of my drives, work and home, with SSDs. ( Well except for the the USB archive/backup attached to the NAS). I don't even remember the sound of the click, click, scratch, screech as data is being trawled from the anals of the highly defragged IDE 30 Mb "whopper" of a drive......

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Obama appoints intelligence boss to run 'independent' review of NSA

Khaptain
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I think it is time that you asked for a refund, you were sold goods that were unfit for the purpose.

For the me the irony begins when we think about how the west likes to ridicule the like of Iran or NK....There really is no need to look further than ones own doorstep.

The results will run along the lines of "We took a long hard look, we studied the ins and outs and we have come to the decision that in the name of 'keeping the people safe from the terrorists" it is the only viable solution, now please STFU, go home and keep watching television"......

I wonder when Obama will start handing out Ass-Dildos to the US public....

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100,000+ Earthlings star in 'reality TV contest' for ONE-WAY ticket to MARS

Khaptain
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Re: Reality show producers wet dream

Pioneer as in "We have already made a mess of the earth, why not export our shit elsewhere as well".....

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