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* Posts by Khaptain

1866 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Chinese authorities say massive DDoS attack took down .cn domain

Khaptain
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This is a different kind of war

Until recently only countries, nations or religious leaders had the power to create wars. Today network experts are just as capable, it really does change a lot of about histroy will be written.

The enemy can now be thousands of kms away or even in your own back yard. He is unknown, even "Anonymous", he could be 17 years old, alone or in a team. He could be the government or a poor individual with a grudge.

And he doens't even own a gun, spear, catapult or even a stone.......but he sure does know how to use a keyboard.....

The times they are a changing......

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Pulsars: the GPS beacons of the cosmos

Khaptain
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Re: Why is my prime meridian wobbling?

Effectively, after a quick Wikipedia search, these 2 articles state the approxiamate dates for believing that the earth was flat.Flat Earth and Myth of the Flat Earth, it was actually a very long time ago, pre 300 BC when "educated" men began to accept the spherical version.

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Khaptain
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Re: Why is my prime meridian wobbling?

The problem with maps is that they exist, in a meaningfull / complete state, only "after" someone has been where you are going ( and then relates the information to a map maker - or does it himself).......

The world was flat until someone went over/round the edge. The maps before then had some "anomalies".......

I am sure that when/if we learn to travel great distances in space we will learn that it is different from what we imagined/assumed/guessed/calculated.

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Holiday HELL: Pourquoi, monsieur, why is there no merdique Wi-Fi here?

Khaptain
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Re: A sad inditement on modern society

Isn't that exactly one of the reasons that TPB is so popular and I mean for the legit stuff. It is far easier to download a TPB copy than it is to rip legally owned material.

( Obviously without Wifi, TPB is difficult ).

PS : I wonder what "terms" the Germans use for the Brits....

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Khaptain
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Re: Right-angle poo

If it was in Paris then I presume that "Tuyau de merde" would have been the common phrase although not the technicaly correct one.

Technically it might be "tuyau d'evacuation".

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Tat bazaar eBay takes a rest for 'scheduled maintenance', goes offline

Khaptain
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Re: So Passe Darling

" fans of second-hand goods cannot presently bid for a pair of old smelly shoes on the popular online tat bazaar."

But isn't that a relatively correct description of what ebay is...

By the way "passe" has an accented e - Passé ( do people really still use that phrase) Nothing like a nice piece of pedantry on El Reg.....

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Khaptain
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To quote Alanis Morissette

Isn't it Ironic......

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UK mulls ban on tiny mobiles to block prison smugglers

Khaptain
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Re: Simple solution ...

That already exists, but it is only valid for MPs, certain business people, some members of the police force and anyone on David Cameron's payroll.

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Bank man: System's down, let's have coffee. Oh SNAP, where's all the CASH?

Khaptain
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Some questions

Can't the banks implement some kind of token/key/passphrase system which would prohibit movement without the "owner" first supplying his consent......

Is it really possible for someone, other than an exisitng bank employee, to have the know-how to actually perform these kind of transactions.

How is it possible to hide bank transactions when most banks have signed treaties against money laundering, theft, mafia etc which allows things to be traced, relatively simply.... ( The Swiss and various other minority thief countries are excused).....

If the banks are not secure what alternatives do we really have : Bitcoins ?

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Oz sawbones extract fork from old boy's todger: Gents, start your wincing

Khaptain
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Re: OW!

The doctor considered the idea of extracting the fork without an anaesthetic but was worried that the patient would enjoy the procedure......

I just measured a fork, approx 28mm wide, 193mm long..... That's a painfully large object to have stuck inside your stomach never mind your penis.

What's next a piece of cactus...

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Sony sets dates for US and Euro PS4 unleashment amid Xbox heckles

Khaptain
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Re: "Sony wasn't forgetting its older-platform customers"

Surprise , surprise, most transexuals are left-handed.

Makes me wonder if Google are capable of keeping track of who is "left-handed" because they probably already know who is transexual, live in in Tasmania and have already searched for "mod PS3 + Linux".

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Bitcoin blitzkreig as Germans prepare to tax virtual currency

Khaptain
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Job Vacancy - Darknet Tax officer

"Apparently" there is quite a lot of bitcoin activity going on in the Darknet ......... and it doesn't appear as though there are too many Darknet Tax Officers making rounds....

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Khaptain
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Re: Blitzkrieg

Something very ironic about this, lol...... And who says that the Germans don't have any humour...

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LinkedIn lowers age of consent to 13

Khaptain
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Puberty problems

At 13 years old the majority of teenagers have a lot more problems with puberty than with deciding upon their final career.

This sounds more like a requirement to boost numbers rather than provide any reasonable service.

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Amazon DISAPPEARS from internet

Khaptain
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Re: No, it is not Bruce Willis and Jeff Goldblum

Worse still, we might actually be experiencing the wrath off

..........drum roll ........

........wait for it........

.........EADON...........

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New tool lets single server map entire internet in 45 minutes

Khaptain
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Devastation United

There is absolutey no doubt that a dark version of this tool will spring up as fast as an Interweb-Zuck-Meme.........

The daring virus, malware, spammer etc won't have to wait hours or days for meaningfull results, instead they will only be waiting minutes..... I hear a distant bell ringing "Moore's Law" doesn't only apply to IC, it also appears to apply to many different technologies/ideas.

Encoding the details in the returned packet, simple and very clever...... Kudos to the researchers.

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Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak disses Ashton Kutcher's Steve Jobs

Khaptain
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Re: Anpther Steve Jobs Movie?

Then why can't they do the same thing with Tim Cook ?

PS : I have never owned an Apple product so no Fanboism coming from my part. I recognize Steve Jobs as an excellent engineer the marketing genius though.

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Kiwi jetpack gets all-clear for manned tests

Khaptain
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You could nip down to the "not so local, say 30kms away - where that fine secretary drinks" pub, have a pint or three, get back , park the jetpack in the garage, quietly, and the missus would think you had only been out walking the dog....

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Bug-finder chucked for posting to Zuck

Khaptain
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Boffin

Re: Pay the guy!

"And re-instate his account, of course."

He is far better of without it.....

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Fiendish fake Flash plugin squirts grumble-flick ads into kiddies' websites

Khaptain
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Easy solution

All that needs done is to do is ban "children"... It would be far easier than banning everthing else and the internet could go on as normal.

Just how does one get in contact with David in order to share this little miracle cure.

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Facebook's request to the flash industry: 'Make the worst flash possible'

Khaptain
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Re: I'd buy that

"Hmmm anals and whopper eh? Maybe use annals and big next time...you got Paris all excited."

Lol, The spell checker was feeling horny....

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Khaptain
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Re: I'd buy that

"but I don't dare throw away, because I might need that data someday."

No need to worry, 1980's porn has evolved, today we have moving pictures........

PS : I have upgraded, replaced all of my drives, work and home, with SSDs. ( Well except for the the USB archive/backup attached to the NAS). I don't even remember the sound of the click, click, scratch, screech as data is being trawled from the anals of the highly defragged IDE 30 Mb "whopper" of a drive......

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Obama appoints intelligence boss to run 'independent' review of NSA

Khaptain
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I think it is time that you asked for a refund, you were sold goods that were unfit for the purpose.

For the me the irony begins when we think about how the west likes to ridicule the like of Iran or NK....There really is no need to look further than ones own doorstep.

The results will run along the lines of "We took a long hard look, we studied the ins and outs and we have come to the decision that in the name of 'keeping the people safe from the terrorists" it is the only viable solution, now please STFU, go home and keep watching television"......

I wonder when Obama will start handing out Ass-Dildos to the US public....

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100,000+ Earthlings star in 'reality TV contest' for ONE-WAY ticket to MARS

Khaptain
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Re: Reality show producers wet dream

Pioneer as in "We have already made a mess of the earth, why not export our shit elsewhere as well".....

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Khaptain
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Reality show producers wet dream

I can't even begin to imagine how "exciting" this must be for the producers. There is a very strong chance that everyone will simply die..... Whether they eventually get their or not. The question lies in how long the whole affair will last. ( Yes, I know that everyone dies eventually anyway)

If they die during take off, the producers are f****ed, too quick, no profit.

If they die half way across, this would lead to a major anti-climax, several months of nothing , then death....boring.. This would make it difficult to get funds for EarthToMars2...

The best most exciting, largest audience, think sponsorships, would be death upon orbital entry.....This way no one would have to fund boring daily routines on Mars and everyone would have had their fill.

I don't possess a television so I guess that I will never become a sponsor to the madness.... Why would anyone even consider being sent to a barren planet.....

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Oracle Team USA sailors admit breaking America's Cup rules

Khaptain
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Re: Any word on exactly what the illegal modifications were?

It seems a little bit incredible that none of the management were aware of anything.. I can't imagine for a moment that making changes to these boats is a trivial affair that can easilly be hidden.. Unless of course they have some miracle drugs that would make even Lance Armstrong jealous.....

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Google Glass: Would you pay a mere $299 to plop one on your brow?

Khaptain
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Price not the problem

Personally I wouldn't pay for the Google Glass, not would I wear it. What is most worrying though, is that there will be some twats that will pay and I want to know how to avoid being "recorded" by them.

I never really cared about this thing called "privacy", but recently I feel that is becoming very important.

Google is becoming synonymous with everything that I hate about "commercialism"....

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You're 30 years old and your PIN is '1983'. DAMMIT, biz mobe user

Khaptain
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Re: It's goes to 11, see?

I had a user in my office this week that had forgotten their PIN code even though it was their own anniversary.

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Wall St 'Likes' Facebook again: Shares edge up to pre-IPOcalypse price

Khaptain
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Beware beware

Beware beware the ides of March July/August...

Pride before a fall Wall Street collapse.

[Mike Myers] "Cor! This coffee rebound smells like shit!"

And a multitude of other proverbs...........

I can understand speculation on the likes of coffee, sugar and tea, but Facebook is a whole other ballgame..... i will never understand the stock market...

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Wikileaker Bradley Manning's court martial verdict expected today

Khaptain
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Re: This is about a Soldier under an Oath of Fealty...

Would you simply prefer that the Good Ol USA continue to spy on all and sundry at their pleasure.....

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Exposed: RSPCA drills into cops' databases, harvests private info

Khaptain
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That's nice

Who's next PETA, Animal liberation fund, I Luv Noddy group ?

if I make a donation can I also request the criminal background details of my neighbours ?

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Siemens to throw CEO overboard after profits slashed a FIFTH time

Khaptain
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The official reason

Since this is a megcorp I presume that the official internal memo will read along the lines that the "CEO is leaving in order to persue familly accomplishments".

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Microsoft introduces warning on child abuse image searches

Khaptain
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Search Terms

How do they know the search terms that peados use, or drugs users , or thiefs etc ....

I imagine that the criminal underworld have their own terms, synonyms etc for their wares.

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'Fat Wallet Bob' leaves Apple tech chief spot for Special Projects Bureau

Khaptain
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Re: Bob the builder works for Apple ?

No, I don't think that they do. That's what so special about Bob, he is the 2nd highest earner. As the article stated that only Larry Ellison earns more...

Bob the Builder is not a CEO, he is just an employee ( OK he was on the comex).....but that still makes for one hell of a salary.

This is the Forbes list for CEO's ( not employees).

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2012/12/ceo-compensation-12_rank.html

I couldn't even find a list for employees.

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Khaptain
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Flame

Bob the builder works for Apple ?

I wonder who pays Apple enough money that they can afford to pay one of their employees that kind of money ?

Fanboi mania, some people are just laughing all the way to the bank.

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Apple: 'Average' iPad toiler does a mere 46-hour week

Khaptain
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85 Million requirements.

Elsewhere on El Reg today, we read about Builder Bob earning 85 Million a year.......I wonder how much these factory workers would be happy to know that.....

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Kids LIE about age on Facebook, gasps Brit ad watchdog

Khaptain
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Re: A true shocker

>Even my kids now have zombie accounts

Kinda makes you wonder how mean "real" accounts actually exist.

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Comrade! If you dare f$%^ing swear on the internet, WE'LL SHOOT

Khaptain
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Re: I'm totally fed up with swearing ...

"If aliens landed and saw how we use the web they'd leave for another 10,000 years."

It's true that the web does have its "DailyFail" side of things..... I suppose at the end of the day it probably is quite representive of society. ( That's a depressing thought and it's only Monday)

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Khaptain
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Re: I'm totally fed up with swearing ...

Quick get Martin off of the web and into that Kindegarten immediately. He might actually be suffering ffrom an immediate strain of SwearWordsOntheWeb.......

He came to El Reg and expected "nice"...... OMFG, WTF......Faint, swoon, fetch me some water..... We have a believer..

Nah, but seriously Martin, most of the Web does not contain profanity and you are free to browse only the content that you desire, simples really. There are lots of nice Christian websites, some might even be orientated towards IT. If not why not start some up...

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Khaptain
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What is wrong with the children ?

If the children need so much protection it must be because the government got things wrong in the first place.

If that is the case, then the govenrnment should be changed because they are the ones that are in need of protect, from themselves.

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Wow! British Gas bungs a million remote-controlled sales-droids in UK homes

Khaptain
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@Amorous Cowherder

Isn't a fridge a bit redundant in Scotland ?

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New in Android 4.3: At last we get a grip on privacy-invading crApps

Khaptain
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Re: Google Switch

@Bakunin

Are you "absolutely" sure about what you are saying or are you new to the game?

Will your solution really stop "Wifi" location being sent to Google, directly or indirectly through third part apps.

Will it also stop GPS location information being sent to google.

If I were to find a wireshark equivalant, you are saying that, I could be assured that by turning of "syncing for the Google account." no traffic would any longer be sent to google.

C'mon wake up man, there is far more to google/android than your contact list and porn browsing habits.

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Khaptain
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Google Switch

Is there also a BIG button which can be used to stop the phone/addressbook/browser/etc from phoning home to Google with user stats.

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Deadly Spanish train disaster exploited by malware mail scumbags

Khaptain
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Major tabloids no better

I have never bought a tabloid newspaper for exactly the same reason. The people that exploit these situations are no worse that those that consume it....

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Guinness: Have a quick bonk over the bar and receive FREE BEER

Khaptain
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Pint

Re: To the Tavern!

Real men don't wear iPhones.....

but they do drink these ------>>>>>>>

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London Mayor shows off GIANT BLUE COCK in busy square

Khaptain
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Frenchy stuff coming up

Just to let you know, the standard joke in France relating to the "Why the cock is the national symbol".

Because it is the only animal, that even while standing both feet in the shit, continues to sing.

Et maintenant en Francais

"Parce que c'est le seul animal qui, même quand il a les pieds dans la merde, continue à chanter."

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MYRA HINDLEY found working in Capita's benefits & revenues unit

Khaptain
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Re: So basically

It's Friday, the El Reg hacks are tired and it's almost Pub o'Clock.

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Indian military pondered attack on Venus and Jupiter

Khaptain
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Don't the planets "fly" slightly slower than UFOs and also represent a much larger masse.? ( Deathstar not included)

Also, the military must have some major doubts about their radar detection in order to mistake a planet for an "invador".....

I can imagine the pilots reaction when realising that his target was approxiamtely 750 000 000 million kms away. "Base, I don't think that our heatseekers are up to the job, we will need something a little bit more interstellar, returning to base".

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Android 'Master Key' DEMON APPS sniffed out in China

Khaptain
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Re: At the rish of being downvoted into Oblivion

<quote>AFAIK, having the master keys mean that each and every Android device is open to being attacked. Changing the keys would be next to impossible (AFAIK).</quote>

They are not open to attack UNLESS the user installs some dodgy software from bad sources.

HOWEVER, should any of this software end up on the Google Play Store then that really could be a nightmare. ( I am thinking repackaged Angry Birds or whatever the next fad game will be)

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