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* Posts by Khaptain

1873 posts • joined 4 May 2008

BlackBerry Messenger to launch on Android, iOS this weekend

Khaptain
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Something for the kiddies

BBM is just another bloody txting/sms/chat app thing. The kids might like it.

BB Email on the other hand would really make my day, it's the "app" that the anyone/everyone in the corporate world would like to see on Android. Especially if it meant that there would no longer be any requirement for those damned expensive Corporate BB Subscriptions that are an extra on top of the mobile phone bill.......

I honestly don't care for any of the programs on my BB except for the Email....It's the one program in which BB excels.

PS : I hate the word "App", it's either an Application or a Program.. Why does anyone over the age of 13 feel the need to call it an "App".

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Open source Android fork Cyanogen becomes $7m company

Khaptain
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Re: Mixed Emotions

"Tread carefully CyanogenMod, for there be dragons ahead."

And that dragon is called Google..........

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Official crackdown on Apple fanboi 'shanty town' ahead of London iPhone launch

Khaptain
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Re: no queues on-line

And most importantly, Toilet Paper.....( and somewhere private in which it can be used)

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Khaptain
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Re: Jesus Christ

Yes, but do the Carphone warehouse boys give you High Fives and go Whoop whoop whoop whoop as you leave the store...

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Study finds fraudsters foist one-third of all Tor traffic

Khaptain
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The Spooks (Ok the military) invented TOR , kinda stands to reason.

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Khaptain
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Killing the messenger

Why don't these "studies" ever seem to focus on the real cause of problems.

If people want to use porn : Ask yourself WHY.

If people want to use drugs : Ask yourself WHY.

If people want to buy guns : Ask yourself WHY.

Maybe just maybe, there are a lot of very unhappy people on this planet. Seriously ask yourself why and then go about finding solutions to help the poor buggers. Telling them that Bill gates now has 72 Billion in the bank, oe that Abramovich has the worlds 3 largest yachts is not a solution.

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THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

Khaptain
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Re: Clue's in the name, isn't it?

"Why a woman would want to smell like the rear-end of a giant rat is beyond me."

When you see that state of some of the women that have had "Aesthetic Surgery" , it is understandable. They already look like the rear-end of giant rats. The skin pulled back, the exploding cheeks, the pouting lips ....all that's missing is the smell.

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Khaptain
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Re: Anal Ooze

That must have be the kind of camping outing where the scouts are still too young to understand that "Eating some beaver" doesn't actualy involve a small furry rodent.

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Khaptain
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Anal Ooze

Does this mean that at some point, someone caught a beaver, pulling various bits and pieces off , including the analy situated scent glands, squeezed them, waited for some ooze and actually though that it might be a good idea to eat.

And then decided it might be a good replacement for Vanilla.

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Redmond cash splash follows mobile hash

Khaptain
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I wouldn't be expecting too much of that in the immediate future. Windows 9 better be written by the hand of [Deity] if the want to see figures rise.

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Microsoft puts something hard and sensitive in your pocket

Khaptain
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Re: Surely-

"Corrected, I stand"

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Khaptain
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Spin doctor spin

The spindoctors are trying to spin as hard and as fast as they can but they still can't drum up any interest.

For an American company to be talking about security is kinda ironic at the moment.

It must be a beancounters nightmare, spend 1 Billion in marketing, recover 10 million in sales.......As Yoda might say, "Bringing success to our company, this will not make.."

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NSA spooks tooled up with zero-day PC security exploits from the FRENCH

Khaptain
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Headmaster

Re: Wrong animal

It was actually an American that invented the phrase.....

The Simpsons - Season 6 Ep 22..... ( Wikipedia is my friend)

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Khaptain
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Crock of shit

"There are times when US special forces use AK47s, even though they have superior guns available."

That's similar to saying I own a old Jeep and a Ferrari but the Ferrari is far superior. It might be on the racetrack but it wouldn't be worth shit when you head out on a wild boar hunt.

Good on the French, by selling the yanks this kind of solution they have probably created their own PRISM Key which opens a special little backdoor into the NSA.

By the way : Are the NSA actually accountable to the American population or do they simply have complete freedom to do and say as they please ?... Wouldn't this kind of group not normally been known as Subversive Anarchists.

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Peak Apple: Has ANYONE at all ordered a new iPhone 5c?

Khaptain
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Re: Apple forgot why they are popular

"People buy Apple phones because they look expensive"

I think what you mean is that some for some people they are expensive and therefore they consider them as being luxury items, when in fact they have very little intrinsic value. It's more of a wishfull thinking phenomena than anything else.

Hence the existance of fanbois...

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City of Munich throws Ubuntu lifeline to Windows XP holdouts

Khaptain
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Re: How does this help?

There are a couple of guys in this thread that really need to shake your heads a little. My comments were an "example" of what a newbie might just have to go through when installing [insert favorite distro here].

One or two of your answers were exactlly the kind of "I'm an expert let me show you how to do that properly" neck beard kind of answers which genuinely do not help newbies or anyone else for that matter.

It is an unfortunate fact that there are relatively few *nix users on forums that actually know what pedagogy actually means. I can see that you are happy keeping up the tradition.

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Khaptain
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Re: How does this help?

It's not FUD it's fact.

Here is an example of an answer on how to change the resolution of the video card. And this is an easy question ( a lot of people are confronted with this problem that is the reason I Cherry Picked this one).

I have been running Linux on and off for the last 20 years or so, so I undersand mostly why each of these lines are important and also their general prupose. BUT, this sort of answers frightens the shit out of Joe User..... I would very much doubt that most would even manage to open a terminal.......

Reponse starts here.........................................................................

Uvesafb replaces vesafb in Ubuntu, in case you are wondering.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Fix/Workaround]

* uvesafb required v86d package to be installed. Hwinfo package is required for the next step as well.

sudo apt-get install v86d hwinfo

* Find out the supported resolution by using hwinfo.

sudo hwinfo --framebuffer

Sample output :

02: None 00.0: 11001 VESA Framebuffer

[Created at bios.464]

...

Hardware Class: framebuffer

Model: "(C) 1988-2005, ATI Technologies Inc. M92"

Vendor: "(C) 1988-2005, ATI Technologies Inc. "

Device: "M92"

SubVendor: "ATI ATOMBIOS"

...

Mode 0x0321: 640x480 (+2560), 24 bits

Mode 0x0322: 800x600 (+3200), 24 bits

Mode 0x0323: 1024x768 (+4096), 24 bits

Mode 0x03ee: 1366x768 (+1408), 8 bits

Mode 0x03ef: 1366x768 (+2752), 16 bits

Mode 0x03f0: 1366x768 (+5504), 24 bits

Config Status: cfg=new, avail=yes, need=no, active=unknown

* Edit /etc/default/grub to make sure we boot with uvesafb framebuffer. For the mode_option parameter change to your native screen resolution you see from running the above comment (if not just set to 1024×768-24 which is safest. Oh, Netbook user – please exercise some common-sense here) Non relevant lines are omitted for clarity.

...

GRUB_CMDLINE_LINUX_DEFAULT="quiet splash nomodeset video=uvesafb:mode_option=1366x768-24,mtrr=3,scroll=ywrap"

...

GRUB_GFXMODE=1366x768

* Edit /etc/initramfs-tools/modules to include uvesafb by adding the following line.

uvesafb mode_option=1366x768-24 mtrr=3 scroll=ywrap

* Force the use of framebuffer:

echo FRAMEBUFFER=y | sudo tee /etc/initramfs-tools/conf.d/splash

* Update and we are done :)

sudo update-grub2

sudo update-initramfs -u

* Now reboot and enjoy the high resolution sensation :) (my first reboot hangs, but 2nd time onward it works flawlessly). If it works correctly, you should be able to have moving dots with the splash screen; lesser time of blank screen and much more time with splash screen.

And this is only "one" of the variations that were found on the forum. There were also far more "exotic" responses....

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Khaptain
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Re: How does this help?

I pity the poor fool that heads on down to a Linux forum and asks a noob question.... There is nothing worse than some next beard explaining that you need to write a little script in python which pipe outs to a second bash script that makes reference to various regex expressions, grep and awk and a fistfull of parameters.

That is not the way to gain support.....

RTFM , no problem but which manual....... There are million of them and "man" is a f****ing mightmare for anyone less than a Stephen Hawkings groupie... ( With MAN you actually have to read the MAN page on how to use MAN)

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Bother! Breakdown busts bloke's bold boffin-blasted briny boat balloon bid

Khaptain
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Congrats for the title

Fool floated far from fixed footing, finally fell.

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It's official: The iPhone 5S bling-mobe IS chavvy. OR, Burberry isn't

Khaptain
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Re: Crap clothes + crap cameras = crap photos

They don't want to lose the Chavness

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Torvalds: 'We're not doing Linux95 … for a few years, at least'

Khaptain
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Re: "Suicidal squirrel”

LOL, I wonder how many El Reg readers even know what the Tufty club is, that's made my day...

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Push mail outfit Good Tech wins CC cert

Khaptain
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Keyholder information please

And who holds the encryption keys ?

Does any of the data "pass thru" any of the Merican servers at any time ?

Maybe instead of backdoors we should now talk about Prism Keys.....

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French ministers told to use only secure comms post-PRISM

Khaptain
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Re: France and secure communication

Cligg you should have added that all content is written in "Verla".( Not sure how to spell that word please read on to understand why)

For the unwashed masses : Verlan is a technique in which the french reverse all of the sylables in a word.

The word Verlan is actually the word " l'enver " in reverse = "len" + "ver" = "ver" + len" = "verlan" ( Yes they do change some of the spelling as well but it iis more of a verbal thing than a written one.

The word "l'enver " actualy means Reverse or Backwards.... All very clever really.

"Et les keufs et les meufs dans le RER, la banlieue c’est pas rose"

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Lip-wobbling boffins: Eating Chinese food is like kissing a vibrator

Khaptain
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Housewifes dream

AstroGlide and Szechuan pepper

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iPhone 5S: Apple, you're BORING us to DEATH (And you too, Samsung)

Khaptain
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Peak Smartphone

I think the problem lies in the fact that we really do not need smartphones. They are esentially gadgets which have come from a Geeks Only status to a General Public status. SmartPhones are becoming passé.

We have essentially learned what they are usefull for and also what they are not usefull for. Their evolution is reaching it end.

Ones phone/smartphone was once a "symbolic icon" for who er are/who we pretend or aspire to be, today it's just another gadget in our pockets. It's all become very bling bling.....( talking mass market here, not professional usage)

We now need something radically different,....

We need a new form of entertainment, clothes that can talk, or bicycles that can sing, personal hologram devices( 3d Tamagotchis) . etc etc etc .

Now that we are at the end of the wave a new one will come along, for the life of me though I cannot imagine what it will be.

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'NSA PRISM spies' shake down victims with bogus child-abuse vids claims

Khaptain
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Re: NSA?

No it can't be because most crooks have a code of honour, whoever runs the NSA has no scruples whatsover.

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Top UK billionaires considerably richer than Chinese ones ... for now

Khaptain
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Re: British billionaires

Not forgetting what the proverb states about what comes before a fall.......

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Khaptain
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Re: British or not British

I would argue that it is necessary to give a new name after every three 0s. In the same manner as a we have in IT Mega, Giga, Terra, Peta, Exa etc ....

I think is easier to think in terms of "2.7 Giga" than it is to think about "two thousand seven hundred Megas", or worse, "two thousand seven hundred million bytes" or even worse "twenty one thousand six hundred million bits". And this is only at the Gigabyte level....( although that is roughly where the Billionaires are for the moment)

it is also far easier to write.....

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Khaptain
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Re: The UK's main business now is banking.

Can we therefore presume that MPs accept cheaper backhanders in London than anywhere else. ....

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Khaptain
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French Revolution N°2

What will we call it when the world's population has had enough of learning how rich the rich are ?

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Steelie Neelie calls for TOTAL BAN on EU mobe roaming charges

Khaptain
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Why 2016 ? because that's how long it will take the main Operators to strike a price fixing deal together and also to invent some new scams. Maybe they will stop subsidising the telephones or find some way to create a "Media Tax"...

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Microsoft delivers baker's dozen of patches on Tuesday

Khaptain
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Re: Installation nonsense

I find it far more amazing that they have never found a means of avoiding the "obligatory" reboot......

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James Bond's Lotus Esprit submarine car sells for £550,000

Khaptain
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Re: This prop used to live ...

"One wonders at the mentality of the idiot purchasing the toy for that kind of green."

If I had that kind of money I wouldn't stop at the car, i would want a copy of Stromberg's Lair in The Spy Who Loved Me..

These are cult symbols, they belonged to every young boys dream, James Bond was a "National Hero", he exemplified a world of fantasy, of the superich, he glorified the Spy world and even the bad guys, he was a ladies man. He was/is a living myth.. Why would we not want to be part of that..

Lighten up Jake, you are allowed to have some fun too.

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Google scrambles to block backdoors

Khaptain
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Re: Whose data is it?

Shit, I forgot about those damned cameras, OK stand outside of the internet cafe whilst wearing a tinfoil hat and rubber mask and don't speak to anyone..

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Khaptain
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Black Helicopters

Re: Whose data is it?

One solution : ,Using a "friends" laptop, a USB version of Tails, connect to the Wifi of an internet café or Airport, encrypt your emails contents and then send using NymServers and Remailers.

Not a very comfortable solution but relatively secure. ( Don't use the same laptop or Internet cafe any more than twice in a year.)

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Pair of complete tits sorry for pervy app

Khaptain
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Re: That's nature

<quote>It is that she would leave the conference thinking "Well that industry is clearly just a bunch of silly men obsessed with looking at women's bodies. Not for girls like me then. It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable." That is the tragedy. That's what *I* find offensive.</quote>

i would consider that as a purely "adult" frame of thought capable only from a mind mature enough to know what it was looking at. Not what I would expect from a pre-pubescent child, even one that was mentally capable of programming.

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Khaptain
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Re: That's nature

As far as I remember tech is usually very clean, or would you like to brand everyone with the Shit Stick because a pair of minor technies had some fun.

Nobody takes these kinds of things seriously, they are intentionally made to be funny and made to be a little tongue in cheek.

Pray tell us how you protect that same little innoncent sweet 9 year from the Sex, Bad Language, Violence , Politics and general disarray that can be found on the Web, Movies, Television, Newspapers, on her iPhone/Android, splattered everwhere in publicity......

That same little girl will soon discover that their are far more things to be worried about that looking at a pair of clothed breasts.......

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Khaptain
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Re: That's nature

You honestly want to be believe that taking a 9 year old girl to a tech conference will generate further interest in the tech field ? I am sure there are far more interesting things for 9 years olds to do than stand around bored shitless for hours waiting for an interesting field to crop up.

By the way the web has a very large percentage of hardcore/softcore pornography websites, written by the same techies..... You might want to consider that for later....

Think of the children, yeah right, don't take them to these kind of events. Whats next to much swearing in the football stands. Ballerinas whose clothing is too tight and show a little too much nipple at the ballet.

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Khaptain
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Coat

Ornithologists Unite

This seems to be very unfair for those that love ogling at a pair of Great Tits or some Blue Tits in the winter time, or a pair of Coal Tits up in a the North of England.

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Microsoft does a U-turn, releases Windows 8.1 to developers early after all

Khaptain
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Utter BS

"We've listened, we value your partnership, and we are adjusting based on your feedback." = Bollocks

If they had listed to what was being asked / complained about / offered as advice then we would not have the product that we have today.

If they had listened we would be reading about how great W8 is, unfortunately this is not the case. W8 definately has some goods elements, it's just that they are overshadowed by the bad ones.

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Indian spooks snooping without ISP knowledge

Khaptain
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I get the impression that you actually believe that you live in a democratic society. The spooks have been doing it for years, this is certainely nothing new. ECHELON has been in use since around the 1960's, don't tell my you think they only spy on foreign nations.....

I do not agree with what the spooks are doing but I can understand why they might be doing it. They need to provide evidence/figures that prove they are doing something usefull....BIG DATA provides that evidence. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put a little make-up around the stats...

I very much doubt that the real terrorists are using public networks anyway.... They know how to use encryption and TOR just like everyone else....

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Khaptain
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Isn't that what spooks are supposed to do ?

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BAN THIS SICK FILCH: Which? demands end to £1.50-per-min 'help' lines

Khaptain
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Re: @Tom Welsh - @Khaptain - France isn't too bad

As I mentioned above , it's all about attitude.

Although I have lived in France for almost 20 years, I also have a typically broad Scots Accent, so it is easy to imagine that my French is heavilly "tainted".

The French can be extremely rude though , especially to impolite people, they do it amongst themselves all the time. Believe it or not the most French are normally very polite.

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Khaptain
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Re: France isn't too bad

@AC 08:40

You mean you are surprised to learn that when living in a foreign country not everyone speaks "English".

I have lived in France for almost 20 years and I have never had that kind of problem as soon as they realise that you try and make an effort they usually lighten up and help you out. If you come across as the snotty Englishman expecteing everyone to speak English then you deserve what you get.

I think it is more about attitude than it is about competence.

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Khaptain
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Re: France isn't too bad

@Phil

Now that is a new twist - charging you for assistance on a seperate bill. Free are not so Free after all.

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Khaptain
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Re: France isn't too bad

@Terry

At least you can complain, the alternative would be that they provide no complaints departments whatsover....

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Khaptain
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France isn't too bad

Here in France you don't pay until you have a real person speaking to you on the other end. Companies are not allowed to charge during the obligatory Queue/Waiting Music period.

Which to me seems quite fair.

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Peugeot 208 GTi: The original hot hatch makes a comeback

Khaptain
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Agreed, I had a Golf GTI at the time and my friend had the GT5, he could run rings around me. Far to powerfull in relation to its weight,road handlingm, chassis ( unless of course you know what you are doing which most don't)..... Roundabouts on a damp night in a GT5, oooooooohhhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkk.....

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Khaptain
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Facepalm

Might be for the Brits but on the continent PostCodes are far less precise. For example my postcode covers 7 different little villages..... So here it not even something that we ever be missed.

So it's only a fail for a small minority ie The Brits that drive the new 208 Gti.

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Tor traffic torrent: It ain't the Syrians, it's the BOTS

Khaptain
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Facepalm

Re: Doesn't make sense.

You are right I didn't see that at all but now that you spell it out, it is very clear, my bad. ( Suddenly my

eyes open and I realise how blind I have been)......

The facepalm is for me ...

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