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* Posts by Khaptain

1876 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Here comes Windows 8.1! Microsoft grits teeth, pushes upgrade to world

Khaptain
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Re: Four way split

Isn't that basically the situation today ?

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Twitter hires Google ad exec: Microblogging? We've heard of it

Khaptain
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How many ads can be sold globally.....

>but will now sell ads to retail companies

Something I have never understood : The Social Media sites et al require Ads in order to be profitable but how can there be an infinite number of Ad paying companies.

Will people who advertise in twitter stop advertising in Google or Facebook ? Or do these same companies have infinite advertising budgets.

Sometimes I am under the illusion that there is an endless pile of cash for advertising and yet internal budgets are being capped with lower and lower limits. Where the f***k is all Ad the money coming from ?

.

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NSA reporter leaves paper for eBay billionaire backed media biz

Khaptain
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Wikileaks 2 ?

This time without Assange...

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Ubisoft's Watch Dogs muzzled by delays

Khaptain
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Works both directions

Awareness of hacking is also a good thing. Future devs will be far more likely to integrate security in order to avoid being hacked...

This is a win win lose lose situation.

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Facebook TEENS EXPOSED to entire WORLD

Khaptain
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Matthew 19:14 or thereabouts

El Reg Version

But Mark( El Zuck) said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of Facebook

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Free Cocaine giveaway from Russian search engine Yandex

Khaptain
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What's in a name

Cocaine : Cloud based containerised software services.

Speed : Multi I7 processors in a home box actually capable of providing sufficient oomph in order to run crisis at full res.

Heroin : An almost instantly rush of pure heaven, a 4Tb SSD disked mobile smartphone with a symetrical 2 GB connexion tapping directly into a prioritised TPB/Porn/<insert personal userbase of data.

LSD : A direct to the brain connected personal Augmented Reality device capable of digitally removing woemns cloths whilst replacing any unfit bodies with that of Paris Hilton or Monia Belucci according to your current emotional state. The bodies then start to transmogrify into alien lifeforms which have only one task, satisfying your personal needs....

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US parents proclaim 811 'Messiahs'

Khaptain
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Who were closely follows by their Chinese friends Mr and Mrs Kin and their son Wan

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Khaptain
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Headmaster

Re: Let's think of the kids

Couldn't tell if it was a pun or not.

Shouldn't that be "moniker" rather than "Monica".

Only half a grammar nazi, just in case---------->>>>>>>>

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Khaptain
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Ironic possibility

Imagine naming your kid beautiful and she turns out to be beautifully challenged.

A boy named "Prince" with a familly name of Albert could be amusing.

A asian boy named "King" with a familly name of Dong could also be amusing.

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Microsoft: Everyone stop running so the fat kid Win RT can catch up

Khaptain
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Re: I'd say internal politics too

Unfortunately this is the main reason that only shit projects are ever in the pipeline.

The projects that were thought out correctly and budgeted correctly are always too expensive , at least intially, so they are binned by the beancounters..

Good managers will bin the fairytale marketing wet dream projects quickly, thank <deity>..

The bad managers will actually push the fairytale marketing wet dream projects because they are just too dumb to manage the good projets. They simply don't have the caliber required.

Dilbert and his pointy haired boss is actualy so close to the truth that it brings tears to ones eyes.....

If everyone was equal we would call it Communism but they are not so we call it Capitilism.

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London's Tech City welcomes first Chinese tenant

Khaptain
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Peak London

See title, start buying shares in Chinese dictionaries/Language learning centers.....

If you thought fundamentalists and religious nuts were a problem, you ain't seen nothing yet....

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Bonking boffins say bacon biters won't breed

Khaptain
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Stop with this research

The last thing that we want is for the mericans to increase their sperm count.......less of them mean more for us...(mericans that is, not sperm)

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BBC's Clangers returns in £5m 'New Age' remake

Khaptain
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Re: Why can't they write some new programmes?

What about Mary, Mungo and Midge..

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Khaptain
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Re: Why can't they write some new programmes?

Agreed, the fact that they were made from odds and ends added to their credibility, their warmth. Unfortunately CGI has the tendancy to remove the cuddly effect and replace it with "clean and perfect".....

Bagpuss et al shared the same idea imperfection and it is was made them so real..

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Can you trust 'NSA-proof' TrueCrypt? Cough up some dough and find out

Khaptain
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Re: Almost unsolvable problem.

I agree with Charles, the solution lies in the disassembly of the compiled code.

The algorithm for encryption is known, it should be possible to create a "theoretic "byte code projection of the few funcitons that exist, these in turn should be compared to the compiled byte code.

After disassembly of the public compiled code.

Each individual assembly function should be compared to the logic of the orginal assembler or C code. The logic must match, no extra routines or unnecessary comprisons shoud be seen.

The main elements :

How many decrypting functions exist, more than 1, Red Flag.

Which functions make calls to the decrypting function. Any more than 1 or two, start asking question.

Which functions handle the secret keycode - how does the function handle the keycode. Leading Space stripping, UCASING or lcasing, reversal, byte code comparissons, individual comparissons etc.... Red Flag.

What are the parameters types sent to the decryption function.

etc

etc

etc

I would agree though that it would be painstaking work but definately possible especially when you have the original code.

I would also put a small mention out to +ORC's and his Martini-Wodkas...

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Apple's Oct 22 WORLD-SHAKING San Fran party: New iPads or what?

Khaptain
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Re: Is it just me?

It took me a little while to see that it could actually be a bare arse, of someone lying face down, about to have a suppository inserted.

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Google refunds two dollars for cop jobs ad on biker website

Khaptain
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Re: I DIS-agree....

>Your comment made me smile at least :)

Then at least I have done one good thing for the day.

Woof woof.

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Khaptain
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Re: I DIS-agree....

Once a sheep .......always a sheep.... ( Hint : It's in their genes).

I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when your Boss, Wife, Local MP, etc does something wrong.

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Khaptain
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Re: I agree....

Oh yeah right, the Mongols should be collectively punished for rapes, murders, muggings, armed robberies and other viloent acts .

Should we also collectively punish all the Romans for putting Christ on a cross.

Should we collectively punish all the Australians for destroying the great barrier reef, for speaking with funny accents and drinking too much beer.

Should we collectively punish all of the Americans for being fat

Where and how do you define the limits of collective punishment.

The majority of people in groups are just sheep following wolfs. You don't punish the sheep in order to stop the wolf.

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Khaptain
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Trollface

The Australian Police Minister has now "temporarilly" disbanded a group of "Mongols", slightly diminshing the groups drug and gun stockpile and having "successfully" claimed damages from Google.

Total loss for the Mongols, about nothing... It's merely a setback....

Total loss for the police... probably a few hundred thousand dollars, maybe even into the millions, plus the temporary lack of backhanders and all of this for a return sum of .........$1.89...... and that was only because Google placed an inappropriate ad......

The police minister must be proud of that ehhhh.

Everyone knows that the drug market is a lucrative business but no-one ever seem to tackle the root of the problem. You can't stop drugs being sold whilst the market is crying out for them.... It's all smoke and mirrors....

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Price rises and power cuts by 2016? Thank the EU's energy policy

Khaptain
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Milking the bunnies

The populations are using more and more energy for televisions, home cinemas, central heating, luxuries, iphone etc. etc...Surprisingly there are no viable energy solutions available for the ever increasing demand. So what do we do, nothing, we continue to consume as ever before..

OK, changing your boiler for a new energy efficient one will help, a little, but it will not remove the requirements for continually using energy. We have found ways to improve energy consumption but what we needs are solutions that STOP energy consumption.. But that would be detrimental to the economy......catch 22.

People want cake, no problem, but first learn they have to learn that cake is not going to be provided for free.... there is always a cost. Life is tough and I am convinced that it's going to get tougher for most but not all... just pray that you are in the latter..

Meanwhile prepared to be milked because it's all downhill from here on in.... until the populations are reduced by one means or another......it has to happen and everyone knows it but no-one wants to take a clear stance and offer "soft" solutions.......

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CEO of Brit fashion bods Burberry lands Apple job for retail, online sales

Khaptain
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A day to celebrate

Chavs of the world unite - soon to be faux tartan iPhones for the inclusion in ones collection of bling...

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I'll call for UK law shakeup to cuff global web crime lords - new top cyber cop

Khaptain
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Re: "we need to be confident that we're making the best use of current legislation."

The dilemma here though is that the police commisioner needs "Crime to be happening", otherwise he can't justify his existance....

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German researchers claim 100 Gbps wireless transmission record

Khaptain
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Re: Well yes

Agreed with everything you say BUT fibre requires the opening and closing of the roads and pavements - which is a long and costly process.. especially when it has to be repeated every 10 or 15 years..

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Oracle says open source has no place in military apps

Khaptain
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Mushroom

Lock In

Larry likes to lock his customers in, it now appears that he also wants to lock in the DOD.

If the DOD choose to go this route they will probably regret it in as little as 5 years time when they have to spend billions re-developing software in order to avoid Larry's clutches.

I presume that Larry is simply replying to an RFP but what scary is that these kinds of contracts ever go anywhere near the public sector. How will the DOD verify the "intentions" of the Chinese dev team, or the Iranian encryption genuis or the Israeli microchip expert that is working in one of the less obvious Oracle departments ?

If the staff aren't yours, you have no control over anything. Even when they are it is not an easy task.. ( Snowden ring any bells).

Larry wants the bomb --------->

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McDonalds tells fatties to SUPERSIZE THEIR BRAINS

Khaptain
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No it's not to reach your calorie limit, it's to reach the daily requirements that your body requires in order to have the correct balance of proteins, carbs, lipides etc. It's very easy to reach the calorie intake, it takes a little more effort inorder to reach the recommended requirements without exceeding calories intake.

In other words, you are forced to overeat in order to reach the level that the body requires.

Calories are in general the energy/fuel as a whole, they do not represent the quality of the fuel.

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Khaptain
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This is exactly the kind of bad eating habits that most doctors would like to see people avoid.

2 Big Macs and a Cheese = (2 * 510) + 255 = 1265 Kcal and thats before you add any soft drinks or a desert.....

The nutrional value adds up top about a 3rd of what you need for the day. ( There's little or no fibre though).

That means you would need to eat 3 of these, therefore 3795 kcal worth of MacDo to meet your daily needs.. A normal adult male requries about 2200-2500 Kcal, everything else turns to fat...... Unless of course you are very athletic person - in such a case you probably wouldn't be eating MacDos.

An occasional macDo is not a bad thing, a regular macDo is a killer

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Khaptain
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Re: As an educated Yank ...

"It's not fascist to not be rude to people. They "don't need to be fat", you "don't need to be a twat"."

You can replace the word "fat" with whatever you want, there will always be the same understanding behind the word and "the overweight" people will still be offended. It's a lose, lose situation.

Just out of interest what adjective would you use to describe people that eat to the point that their weight becomes an embarrasement ?

Being fat is not a disease it is a choice. ( There are exceptions but they are few and far between).

As the saying goes, you are what you eat..... If you eat a lot of fat , you become fat.... that's not being rude, it's being honest.

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Sorry fanbois, no supersize Apple fondleslabs for you

Khaptain
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Hungry vulture hovers over the rotten fruit

Speculating about speculation....

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Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

Khaptain
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Re: what's a sq acre?

It's like a rounded acre but with straight sides.

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Laptops Snowden took to Hong Kong and Russia 'just a decoy'

Khaptain
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Re: I hope Snowden didn't eat anything they might have given him

It's probably more dangerous to kill him than it is to keep him alive.

Imagine that this is a webserver somewhere that he,or an acomlice, must log into every day otherwise it will spew out to all and sundry the important stuff that hasen't yet been leaked...

If the NSA still have an interest in Snowden it is because they believe that he stills holds something important. Otherwise they would simply have let him rot in Russia.

( Same is probably true for the Russians)... Hell, even Ian Fleming couldn't have written a better story...

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MS Word deserves DEATH says Brit SciFi author Charles Stross

Khaptain
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Re: Concur with Stross. With a couple caveats.

One of you is speaking about *.doc or *.docx files ( ie MS Word Format) which can hold formatting etc, the other is speaking about *.txt files ( Ascii text files which does hold formatting etc).

Please do not compare appels to oranges, they are both fruits but they are nto the same fruit.

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Wanna be Zuckerberg's neighbor? Tough luck, he bought the block for $30m

Khaptain
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Re: How very ironic of him.

Well as it happens I might just have property that you might be interested in. Now if you will send me 7 million as a deposit I am sure that I can guarantee that you wont be living next door to El Zuck...

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Google: Now your mom will try to sell you toilet paper

Khaptain
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Pick one

Definition of Google :

* An interactive means by which shallow minded souls can be revealed to ones similars.

* A dirty polluting engine fuelled by its own users.

* A milking machine drawing endlessly from humanities orifices in order to provide fodder for humanity .

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Web daddy Tim Berners-Lee: DRMed HTML least of all evils

Khaptain
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Why does HTML have to contain DRM

Any and all of the major players could write real "applications" instead of web interfaces and solve the problem immediately.

This is only about the corporates wanting some cake, eating it and then shitting the remains all over the users....

HTML is not the only protocole that exists, use something else.

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Twitter-mad twits trade 14 million shares in BANKRUPT zombie biz

Khaptain
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or TWUNT

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Khaptain
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Re: Quote: This is a trader fail

Question : Was there actually any, living and breathing, skin and flesh trader involved or was this an example of an algorithm getting a little excited again ?

It goes to show just how fragile the whole stock market really is. Decisions are not being made on fact or anything tangible, they are simply being made on movements.....

The stock market is basically the biggest computer game in the world... and it's being run by computers.

Scary, it's very, very, scary......

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That 'DIAMOND SUPER EARTH' may actually be WORTHLESS ball of gas

Khaptain
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Happy

One for the Snatch fans - Inside the Pawn Shop

Saul : "It's a Moissanite "

Bad Boy : "A whatanite"

Saul : "Moissanite is an artificial diamond, it's Micky Mouse mate, it's spurious, not genuine and it's worth .......... Fuck all"

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Blighty's National Crime Agency nabs first crook ...for £750k cyberscam

Khaptain
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What happened to the money

The perp went down but what happened to the money ? Do the NCA just split it between them ? It would be a novel way of funding their own department.

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Boffins spot LONE PLANET roaming interstellar void

Khaptain
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Coat

Re: No mention of big data

That's because the author didn't explain that TB actually means "tiny bits" - 4000 tiny bits.....

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Khaptain
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Thought for the day.

Which is lonelier, that little star or the earth....

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Amazon lures in Kindle Fire devs: Promises fame across devices

Khaptain
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Windows

Endless promises and hopes

Why is that todays business models seem to revolve around large companies providing platforms for which content will be made for "free" by external developers ?

If I have understood correctly, very few devs actually make anything at all , other than a few pennies, OK there are exceptions like Rovio but they are so rare that they exist only on the extreme far ends of the bell curve.

obviously it's the Amazons ( they are hoping) , Apples, Google, MS ( not quite) that make the real money.

Or is it just the idea of obtaining the famous "15 minutes" ?

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London plod plonks, er, pull request on EasyDNS

Khaptain
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Where are Anonymice when you need them

This would be one of the very singular occasions in which I would like to see the table being turned on the perps( the police). This must be completely illegal..

We appear to be seeing more and more examples of how the "police state" has become a reality. Funny though, it doesn't seem to matter which party is elected , the police issues always remain inthe background. Politicians seem to be very wary of touching this holy ground.

I can easilly imagine that the Police High Commisioner, or whatever he is called, is a 33 degree macon... could there be a connection.....

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Be prepared... to give heathens a badge: UK Scouts open doors to unbelievers

Khaptain
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It's a good start.

There are far many more things than just the Boy Scouts that need to get rid of the Sky Fairy idealogy but this is a good start.

Anyone that swears to a "deity" begins his career with a lie, why would we ever expect them to be honest from that point in.

All we need know is for the Americans to learn that creatonism is myth not fact. In parallel can we please offer the Pope a new job outside of the theater playing role that he currently has. ( The man himself, the Pope that is, is probably a fine human-being but please stop all of this funny hat and dress wearing nonsense - The 1600s are over).

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Techies with Asperger's? Yes, we are a little different...

Khaptain
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Re: Nice read

I'd go as far as saying it probably represents 95% of the population.

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Microsoft watches iPads flood into world's offices: Right, remote desktop clients. It's time

Khaptain
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Irony for the twunts.

Owning an iSomething whilst doing a Google search using IE9.....

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Cook invokes GHOST of STEVE JOBS in Apple-wide memo

Khaptain
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From what can be gleaned from the interwebs and various other accounts, it would appear that not liking Steve was not a good career move if you were one of his subordinates.

Did you personally meet him ? Are all those accounts in the web wrong ? Was Steve Jobs really a philanthropist in disguise ?

.

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Khaptain
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Re: @Khaptain

That's a worrying thought........

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Young? Been online five years? Congrats, you are the ELITE MINORITY

Khaptain
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Gimp

El Reg Elite Minority

I have been signed up to El Reg for just a little more than 5 years... Does that make me an Elite Vulture ?

I have also been using the web for almost 20 years...... Does that make me an Elite Web Vulture ?

Some of these studies/reports make me weep. What's next, you have been driving for 5 years, you are the equivalant of Formula One pilot and you deserve medals....

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DEATH WATCH counts down seconds to wearer's demise

Khaptain
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Complete Anarchy

I would hate to imagine the pyschological effect that such a watch might have. It is just as likely to start instilling nihilistic thoughts in peoples heads. When they have eventually reasoned deeply enough that life really does not have any purpose and all that remains left is too die they might just start behaving a little "crazilly"....

Eary thought....

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