* Posts by Khaptain

2456 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Slack raises $160m from investors, gets mega $2.8bn valuation

Khaptain
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Intranet by another name ?

"The Slack service allows employees to create and manage internal message boards for individual projects and departments""

So what are company intranets/sharepoints/sametimes/lync etc being used for if it is not exactly this ?

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‘Right to be forgotten’ prompts more French privacy concerns

Khaptain
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BCBG

Belligerent CNIL Berates Google.

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Scientists tail whales, hails their tales of record 14,000-mile migration

Khaptain
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No shit sherlock

Large marine mammal in it's own back yard travels from one end of the yard to the other by going about it's normal business.

Blinks eyes as he realised just how unamazing this "record" really is...

I honestly believed that the article would have provided a little more than "Whale does it's business"

What's next : Giraffe filmed whilst eating leaves on a tall tree...

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WORLD+DOG line up to SLAM Google after anti-trust case unveiled

Khaptain
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What will any of this change ?

Will it change our browsing habits?

Will companies stop paying for Google services ?

Or will it be BAU for everyone concerned ?

This all sounds like high profile media/political splurging but what will it ultimately change...

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What would have stopped TV5Monde hack? Yup, MOAR LAWS

Khaptain
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So easy to protect, not

There have been several reports mentioning that this was likely an inside job, or at least they had access to someone on the inside feeding them with appropriate information.

How exactly will your "efforts" prevent this kind of situation. Oh, they won't, your appearance is just another public outrage/whine in order to gain some airtime...

"Digital Commissioner", now that's a very nice title and probably very handsomely paid. Do you actually need to know anything about IT, Security and/or the real world ?

This is where I do not understand Democracy and the voting/electoral system, how the hell do these people get into these positions..

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Fancy a wristjob from Tim Cook? TOUGH LUCK, you CAN'T HAVE ONE

Khaptain
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Re: Good on them

"I'm sure I can cope without a smart watch for another year or two"

I am sure that I can cope without a smart watch for the rest of my life.

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USA is home to largest number of data perves, study finds

Khaptain
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Re: Data perverts ?

Frank.ly, it's the dilemma of using HQ to represent only a single word... It should only be 3 letters but the 4 letter versions rings better. GCH doesn't sound quite as cool as GCHQ..

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Khaptain
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Re: Data perverts ?

Would that be one of the following

NSA - Not Secure Agency ( Mr Snowden is the president)

CIA - Criminal Instigation Agency. ( Caused more crimes than any other universal entitiy)

UKA - United Kingdom of America ( We don't actually look at the data we steal, we immediately send it to big brother)

JCHQ - Jihad Central Head Quarters (ok it's 4 not 3)

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Credit card factories given new secure manufacturing rules

Khaptain
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Re: hmmm... I wonder if there's a new rule

No, quite the opposite, they will even supply you the key according to one of today's articles..

NSA Front door key

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National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

Khaptain
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Low IQ Alternative

Why don't we just send the electricity through the interwebs..

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Indian cops spice up protests with pepper spray-armed DRONES

Khaptain
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Anonymous

Doesn't India have an "anonymous" contingent, they could hack the airwaves and take control of the offending bots...

Lest not the police forget that necessity is the mother of all contention invention.

[2 Kg of Pepper spray in your face whilst going to work could seriously put a damper on your day...]

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All Mac owners should migrate to OS X Yosemite 10.10.3 ASAP

Khaptain
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Re: Easy

Nietzsche would have found this your approach a lit bit Nilistic..... groan......

[It's Friday and I'm on half day.....pub o'oclock will be earlier than usual ]

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Bored with Blighty? Relocation lessons for the data centre jetset

Khaptain
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Re: Automatic weapons?

"What I find interesting is that where I live in Europe"

I would hazard a guess that you live in Switzerland, Luxembourg or possibly the Czech Republic.

Semi-automatics in Europe are not difficult to possess, fully automatics are generally much more difficult or completely illegal. Here in France "Fully Automatic" is a class A licence ie : A Weapon of War, and therefore forbidden. I believe that this is the case with most European countries as the the classification in France recently changed in order to comply with most of the others countries. I know that there are countries with exceptions but there are not many, hence my guess at CH, LU or CZ.

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Khaptain
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Re: Depresses me that consideration for UK areas...

They could then pump that hot water around Scotland during the long dreary winter nights.

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Khaptain
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Re: Depresses me that consideration for UK areas...

And why wasn't the rest of Europe included, there are a ton of data centres here on the continent. Keeping stuff on the continent also makes Data Security people a lot more friendly...

With the United States Patriot Act etc, your data becomes their data which is not welcomed in many European and Swiss like, countries.

Definately agree with the OP, London <> UK......

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Bad news everyone: Cybercrime is getting even easier

Khaptain
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Re: lunchtime!?

I am sure that restoring eveyone's data back to 2010 would go down real well, you would very quickly become their favourite administrator..... Just be carefull of anyone that carries a heavy metal bar in their handbag/coat pocket.

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Volvo V60 Polestar: Speak softly, carry a big stick, dress like a Smurf

Khaptain
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Re: WTF

Agreed, actually showing the "whole" car would have been a lot more usefull than a dainty little pic of a dashboard....

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Barry Obama declares national emergency over foreign hackers

Khaptain
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WTF?

The opposite situation

And does the rest of the world have the right to sanction the USA whose "agencies" are only to happy to infiltrate, pirate, hack, spy, snoop, steal on the rest of the world....

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Project Spartan: We get our claws on Microsoft's browser for Windows 10

Khaptain
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Mushroom

Re: Fork of IE?

"You could use a trident."

I presume you mean the missile rather than the Neptune variety .

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This one weird trick deletes any YouTube flick in just a few clicks

Khaptain
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What about the comments

Since YouTube comments have now becoem the playgound for all form of insult, hatred and general unhappiness it would have been more interesting to delete the damned comments than the videos.

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Anti-gay Indiana starts backtracking on hated law after tech pressure

Khaptain
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Re: Big problems for humanity... are exploitable vulnerabilities/zeroday trading opportunities?

"The biggest problem facing humanity....is XXXXXX. The sooner the great unwashed start to think for themselves and wise up to the fact that it's all smoke an mirrors and dogma only serves to make good men do evil things, the better or all of us."

XXXXX could be replaced by several things

Religion, Politics, Publicity, Money, Royalty, etc etc take your pick.

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Microsoft's Windows 10 build list snowballs for Lumia mobes

Khaptain
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I mistook Nadella for Tom Cook, thinking that it was just some El Reg irony. The other guy could have been Wozniak after a haircut and shave...

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Hotel Wi-Fi not only hideously expensive – it's horribly insecure

Khaptain
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Re: Anybody not running through a VPN deserves what they get, bedbugs and all.

"But I guess for you it's also easy to grow, and maybe kill, your food, sewn your clothes, and build your transport vehicles."

I can do VPN and all of the above except for building transport vehicles but that is nothing that can't be resolved by using the same tools as those used in the killing of the food scenario.

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700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

Khaptain
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Re: Ahhh Twitter...

"There is also the 5 Journalists paid to follow him"

Who are all called Stephen Fry

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Tim Cook: I'll give just a THIRD of what Gates gave to charity last year

Khaptain
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Not really Tim Cook's money

Apple's consumers are giving products to charity... due to the "added value" that thay must pay.

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Distribution of cream among EMC executive fat cats revealed

Khaptain
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Is that Four Horsemen that I see in the near distance ?

Yes, it is and they appear to be galloping towards us at an increasing speed.

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GCHQ: Ensure biz security by STOPPING everyone from TALKING

Khaptain
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Re: Solution

"Why do it discretely? Just do them all in one batch."

A good example of an optimised process and much quicker than simple attrition.

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Khaptain
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Solution

"Staff in general are the "weakest link in the security chain" and disgruntled employees and the mischief they can create are a particular threat, the spooks advise."

I this is the case the why not immediately disband the entire GCHQ as it in itself presents the greatest risk to the country and it's people.

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PIRATES and THIEVES to get Windows 10 as BOOTY

Khaptain
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Re: Balancing the accounts.

"If Microsoft give them a free and legitamate copy, then they're not pirates anymore. Problem solved!"

Since they will be installing over a pirated copy, which will probably get flagged during the installation....they will effectively now be using a legitimate copy of windows but will have been flagged as previously being pirates and therefore will get monitored slightly more closely than everyone else.

It's my conspiracy theory for the day....

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Khaptain
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Balancing the accounts.

At the end of the day it's probably far more valuable to keep track of what the pirates are doing by giving them a free copy of windows than it is to try and combat piracy.

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You – yes, YOU – can now 3D print your very own Paul McCartney

Khaptain
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Feeling faint

Quick somebody pass me the sick jug, the contents of my stomach have become disturbed....

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Samsung puts eight-core processor IN A WATCH

Khaptain
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Whisky in the jar

I sometimes put a double or even a triple dram of GlenMorangie in my glass in the evening. Does it help the taste, not even remotely, it's fine with a single dram.

8 cores will not help the watch tell the time any more than a single core. Shit my desktop machine is only a double core and I have 15 heavy applications open at this moment and all of them run fine...

Just like the article on removing the bloat from Windows 10 it would be far more interesting to see what you can do with less rather than with more.

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Honey, I shrunk the Windows footprint

Khaptain
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Go

Don't stop there

If they can remove the bloat from a tablet, please, please, please do the same for PCs.

Small and light is good... honestly, I really do not need tiles, sidebars or widgets that tell me the latest stock prices. Keep it nice and tight, everyone loves nice and tight ( fnnrrrr).

Why not start of a race to the lightest, smallest OS rather than the heaviest... ( I doubt that they will reach DSL size though but we can dream on anyway)

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Bride legs it from wedding after groom proves unable to add up

Khaptain
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Re: Clown was "Pennywise"

" IIRC only silver (a decent budget) could stop the beast that was Pennywise's alter ego. "

Now we are getting somewhere, it's the infamous Silver Bullet Syndrome. Who'd have thunk it, from scary clowns to management paradigms all in one thread.

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Khaptain
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Re: Could be a good way to get out of a wedding...

"I think I'd rather get married than appear that stupid in front of a crowd."

I thing I would personally prefer to look stupid for 15 minutes than live with Dopey or the Elephant (wo)man for the rest of my life...But each to his own.

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Khaptain
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I was upset at the Stephen King novel "IT". Never once did he mention anything even remotely related to IT, instead he concentrated his writing on a bloody clown....

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Khaptain
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Could be a good way to get out of a wedding...

" who looks like 10 miles of bad road"

That put a smile on my monday morning face...

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Khaptain
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Re: Eh?

var x = "six"

var y = 15

var z

z = x+y

Display the value of z...... Ouch

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Swedish prosecutors finally agree to London interview for Assange™

Khaptain
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Re: Khaptain Provenance

@Matt

Meditate on the words "a place to hide made of cold white crystals"

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Khaptain
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Provenance

I wonder if the accompanying policeman will be British or #cough#CIA#cough# American ?

Be wary if they are carrying an umbrella.. ( #cough# polonium #cough# - lots of dust in this forum #cough# )

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X+Y shows teens are teens, regardless of where they are 'on the spectrum'

Khaptain
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Classification

I have the impression that society has become increasingly involved in giving a classification to people....by age, illnesss, colour, race, religion, size, weight, intelligence etc

What I do not understand is the fascination for this classification. Objectively, what does it ultimately provide other than a means of eventual segregation ?

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Disney CEO: Dead Steve Jobs choc-blocked me!

Khaptain
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All the bad points

Steve Jobs really was a twunt, it appears as though he had a multitude of

shitty character traits. Greed, jealousy, avarice, bad tempered, unkind, selfish, not the kind of person that I personally would raise to hero status...

I think that El Reg also helps raising Steve Jobs up, simply creating articles about the man is enough, especially when the articles are not satirical. No points to El Reg there......

Will we raise Warren Buffet, Bill Gates or "Steve Balmer" ( shudder) up to the same status when they die.

Quote of the day, "Apple because Steve" ( see attitude above)...

I'm off to the shooting range "because Gaston"....17, 26, 30....

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$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

Khaptain
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What about the cheap buggers

Now all the 350$ versions will just seem like cheap tat....

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'Roly poly' soft, wobbly robot BANGS EXPLOSIVELY, leaps 0.5m in air

Khaptain
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Boom yodel, boom yodel

Having skimmed 4 words of the article thouroughly studied the article, I honestly believed that I was about to read an article about Roly Poly Swiss bomb makers.

It would have been a little bit paradoxical that the land of the Geneva Convention and Human Rights made bombs. There are several Roly Poly people though.

Although having given a litttle bit of thought, it probably wouldn't take much to make this into a roly poly bomb...

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Apple Watch: Wait a minute! This puny wrist-puter costs 17 GRAND?!

Khaptain
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Re: Seems odd to limit access to HBO Now.

Not a problem, it will be torrented long before it appears on the usual platforms and there will be no doubt that Apple users will be 100% to blame.. No-one will be able to blame the TPB for this one.

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Microsoft: You'll get the next Windows 10 build when we're GOOD AND READY

Khaptain
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Renaming the inteface

They can't find a new name for TIFKAM / Modern and are still digging deep to come up with a name that won't remind everyone of the disaster known as 8.

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

Khaptain
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Re: Resale Value - not a lot

"Give quiche a chance."

Was it John Lemon or Yolk Ohno that said that ?

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Litecoin-mining code found in BitTorrent app, freeloaders hit the roof

Khaptain
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Re: "buying that Blu-Ray in the first place"

"And the "but if you just clicked “Next, Next, Next..." doesn't fly with me."

You have the chance to opt out and you don't use ut, that's not the fault of the greedy.....

After all this isn't MS Office that you are installing..

OK I digress, the Java installer is just as bad, but we already know that it has become a POS.

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'Hi, I'm from Microsoft and I am GOING TO KILL YOU'

Khaptain
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Re: Outsourcing to India - Payback

"1. They would have done it even if we did not teach them. It is not that difficult"

Technically it's not difficult, to be convincing requires some skill. We taught them how to become "helpdesks", and this is exactlly the skill set that they are using.

2 : I would not call a multi-million dollar business a failure. If they suck so much how come they managed to earn so much..

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Khaptain
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Devil

Outsourcing to India - Payback

So know that we have taught the Indians to become proficient with computers and phone systems the bad guys amongst them have realised how they can use them against us..

Maybe in return we can start phoning them and offering them really high paid jobs in London, they are after all very technically efficient people, all the we need to know in advance is their IP address ........etc........etc ...... of course it's not a scam

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