* Posts by Haku

1145 posts • joined 13 Apr 2007

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And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

Haku
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Facepalm

Re: Good news for us all !

"hope you're shot in front of your family."

Look everyone, it's one of those people who engage mouth before brain.

I bet like too many other numbskulls you never saw the whole interview and are just taking that single line he said completely out of context.

*shakes head and walks away*

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Haku
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Coat

Now they're on Amazon, perhaps Clarkson should change his tradmarked "POWERRR!" cry to "BANDWIDTH!"

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BT broadband in broad-based brownout and TITSUP incidents

Haku
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Re: Unlucky if you live in one of these areas

Must be really bad if they mention Glasgow, Bristol and Manchester twice for maintenance work on the 28th.

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We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

Haku
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Re: All around the world and I, I, I, cant find my . . .

Windows search was 'adequate' on XP, I hate the Win7 version and haven't tried 8, but very very glad I discovered the free Windows search tool Everything which indexes NTFS attached drives very quickly and displays realtime search results as you type, with regular expression capability for even more refined results.

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Driverless cars banished to fake Michigan 'town' until they learn to read

Haku
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Terminator

It's all very nice giving them their own little road network to play on but what happens when the cars learn of the huge road network outside of the gates?

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More Apple Car mutterings: Cupertino slurps more autobiz brains

Haku
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Re: Name

Going by the whole fruit association thing, does this mean the people inside will be referred to as 'Worms'?

"I overtook this Apple Car the other day on the freeway, it sure wiped the smug look off the face of the worm inside!"

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Haku
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How will you know if someone has an Apple Car?

They'll beep at you.

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Neil Armstrong's MOON spacesuit: One small donation from you - one giant leap for Mankind

Haku
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Re: $500,000?

FFS it was a JOKE, no need to be such a pedantic dick about it.

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Haku
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Trollface

$500,000?

That's quite a lot of money for a basic green screen setup...

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The US taxman thinks Microsoft owes billions. Prove it, says Microsoft

Haku
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Billions? Were they using Windows 3.1 calculator for the sums?

http://www.eggheaven.com/eggs/curios/213-windows

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Bill Hicks: 25 years on from the cult comedian's big break

Haku
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Thumb Up

He was also on BBC1's Paramount City in 1991

I captured this in from my one of my old Betamax tapes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-zYm7TYUBA

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Ant-Man: Big ideas, small payoff

Haku
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Re: That's what I'm doing today

Has anyone got a poppadom the size of lake Michigan? This stuff's really good.

/typed from memory despite not seeing that episode for years :)

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You Musk be joking: Tesla's zero to 60MPH in 2.8 SECONDS is literally 'ludicrous'

Haku
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"Sir hadn't you better buckle up?" "Ah, buckle this! LUDICROUS SPEED! *GO!*"

My 9 year old godson is a Star Wars fan courtesy of his dad, he'd never seen Spaceballs before so we all sat down to watch it one night, until he piped up about 1/3 the way through that he coouldn't handle it anymore because he found it just too weird!

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TalkTalk deactivates hundreds of email accounts after legacy spam scare

Haku
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I still have a working email address from an ISP I was kicked off over 8 years ago!

Won't say which one in case they hear of this and close it down :)

(they kicked me off for over-usage of a package with 'unlimited' in the title...)

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ZOMBIE Commodore PET lurches out of its 1970s grave – as a FONDLESLAB

Haku
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You don't need an 8-core 3GB ram mobile to play Amiga games

My 'old' and 'slow' Samsung Galaxy S2 happily runs that Uae3All2 which was demonstrated in the video, and it didn't cost me anything near $300.

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Microsoft starts switching on paid Wi-Fi service with latest Windows 10 preview

Haku
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FAIL

"As long as you're in the country where you bought Microsoft Wi-Fi"

"You can't save time for later."

"You also can't transfer your Microsoft Wi-Fi time to another device; you can only use it on the device you bought it from."

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Ditch crappy landlines and start reading Twitter, 999 call centres told

Haku
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Flame

Obligatory IT Crowd reference: (with appropriate post icon)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EBfxjSFAxQ

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We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

Haku
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That desktop wallpaper looks...ominous

Like part of a poster design for a supernatural horror film.

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THIS MEANS WAR between USA and Japan! GIANT ROBOT WAR

Haku
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Re: Robot Jox

better different

:)

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Haku
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Robot Jox

An article about giant fighting robots with humans inside piloting them yet no mention of Robot Jox? Just how young are you all at El Reg?

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Rise of the Machines: ROBOT KILLS MAN at Volkswagen plant

Haku
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Devil

"Did I miss any?"

Canada.

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Humongous headsets and virtual insanity

Haku
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Happy

Humongous? No, THIS is HUMONGOUS:

Toshiba 360 Gaming Helmet - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo1BRhoBHAs

It makes almost anyone look like Marvin the paranoid android from the 2005 HHGTTG film.

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British banks consider emoji as password replacement

Haku
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Cortana threatens to blow away ESC key

Haku
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Also try Alt-Esc and Alt-Shift-Esc combos :)

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Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

Haku
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Re: Supplies for Download festival !!!!

A 'vegan'? Is that someone who's from Vegas?

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Haku
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Stop already.

Technological advances are generally a positive thing, until something like this comes along and you have to stand up and say stop already, technology shouldn't be so pervasive.

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Brit plods' post-TETRA radio omnishambles comes home to roost

Haku
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Jamming.

Isn't 4G particularly vulnerable to jamming?

Criminals could have a field day with a bunch of cheap Chinese import jammers bought over the internet with practically no traceability, knowing the police would be commincationless even if they tried to use their normal mobile phones.

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FBI: Apple and Google are helping ISIS by offering strong crypto

Haku
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Re: Not only them!

Will a lifesize cardboard tank do?

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KFC takes legal axe to eight-legged mutant chicken claims

Haku
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Trollface

KFC in China ?

If the internet rumours are true that Chinese eay anything, how can we be absolutely sure it's even chicken, mutant or not, they're serving over there?

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Secure web? That'll cost you, thanks to Mozilla's HTTPS plan

Haku
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Facepalm

I'm terribly sorry but I think I missed the bit where they explain that I shouldn't be visiting sites like http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/ and http://thecatscan.tumblr.com/ because they're not https enabled.

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Welp, PEAK GIF is upon us! Facebook now supports animated images

Haku
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For those lucky not to know the reference, it was a website that just played this on a continual loop: hamsterdance (YouTube)

And if you didn't know and you watched the video, welcome to the hell of early internet meme's! It only got worse...

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Why voice and apps sometimes don't beat an old-fashioned knob

Haku
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Terminator

Futuristic Home Owner's Diary from about 20 years ago, doesn't seem too far from today's futuristic home predictions just without wifi, and replace the Usenet reference with Facebook & Bittorrent.

Also, beware of plugging your computer into all your appliances for fear of it becomming sentient. Cases in point: Electric Dreams (1984) & Demon Seed (1977)

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Your CAR is the 'ultimate mobile device', reckons Apple COO

Haku
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Huh?

The only makes of car I can think of which you can fit in your pocket aren't involved in the mobile industry, you know the ones, Matchbox, Hot Wheels, Corgi, Dinky...

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Boffins create tiny holographic battery that fits INSIDE a chip

Haku
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Trollface

Apple will love this!

It'll give them the ability to legitimately state they can't replace the battery so you'll have to buy a new one.

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Android ransomware poses as FBI smut warning

Haku
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Re: The future isn't looking bright

Ransomware may not be the first thing you worry about with your new smart home...

This is a tongue-in-cheek prediction from about 20 years ago: Futuristic Home Owner's Diary

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UK surveillance commish asks CCTV operators to please be good

Haku
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Re: Quick point

"If you have nothing bad to hide, who cares if they see it?"

That's so true, innocent people never get locked up, everyone knows that.

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'iPhone 6S' to push fanbois around with 'Force Touch display'

Haku
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An article about a rumour of an Apple product feature. Hmm, slow news day?

As for "push back",isn't that just a fancy vibrate motion like when you type on a smartphone and the internal vibrator motor makes the device shake a little?

I do wish more tablet makers put the little vibrator motor in theirs, it almost makes typing on a touchscreen keyboard bearable. I also wish said tablet makers put a big fat white LED next to the camera too.

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Wi-Fi was MEANT to be this way: Antennas and standards, 802.11 style

Haku
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Thanks for the Talking Heads earworm, Danny!

Well, two can play at that game...

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Hacker uses Starbucks INFINITE MONEY for free CHICKEN SANDWICH

Haku
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Re: Unlicensed Disclosures

I'm sure there have been plenty of people who've discovered flaws/bugs in systems over the decades but never used them to their advantage or disclosed them to anyone for fear of serious negative consequences, starting with the company asking "So why were you poking around in ---- when you know you're not allowed?".

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Haku
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Facepalm

"The exploitation of discovered bugs is widely-considered bad practise and will usually result in the forfeiture of paid bounties, and occasionally in legal action."

But Shirley they can't be serious about that because in some instances you have to exploit the bug you think you've discovered to test and see if it actually works

Isn't all the "we'll sue the goddamn hell out of anyone that discovers bugs in our system!" attitude from major companies stifling creative thinking or simply making sure that when bugs are discovered they're not disclosed to anyone with the power to fix them and so used to exploit the system?

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Virtual reality pr0n on the Rift? 'Why not?' says Oculus founder

Haku
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Gawp Goggles.

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Candlelit vigil planned to honour executed Newcastle cow Bessie

Haku
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FAIL

From the previous article: "Northumbria Police scrambled 'a helicopter, up to 20 cars and firearms officers to deal with one brown cow"

What the fuck?

I never get that kind of backup when almost each year in the summer four or five cows walk down off the common in a group & past my house looking for more greenery to munch on, and all by myself I have to herd them back up the steep hill to where they belong because there's no cattlegrid along one particular road.

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Swedish government wins legal case to seize Pirate Bay domains

Haku
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Facepalm

First Pirate Bay Helps Puts Sweden on the Map, Govt. Agency Says

Then the next day they seize their domain names.

Congratulations Sweden, your government is as abysmal as everyone elses.

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YouTube Kids 'showed nippers how to make nooses, play with fire'

Haku
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Re: Whats up doc?

Yes it's a terrible situation that Warner Bros. cartoons have been put on YouTube, especially since I grew up watching them on tv as a kid and now I only have one brother due to an anvil incedent inspired by Wile E. Coyote.

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Blocking mobile adverts just became that little bit easier

Haku
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Re: Conundrum

"Maybe ad-blocking should be a paid-for service, with some of that payment being compensation to the businesses whose (paid-for) ads are being blocked"

Are you fucking serious? That's a mafia tactic!

"Say that's a nice clean fast mobile device you got there, it'd be a shame if something were to happen to slow it down, use up your monthly data allowance and clutter up the screen pestering you to buy things all the time..."

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Haku
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Mobile ads? What mobile ads?

Since I rooted my Android devices and installed AdAway along with AdBlock Plus on FireFox I see very few mobile ads in apps and on web pages.

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UK safety app keeping lorries on the right side of cyclists

Haku
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Can we submit our own "DO NOT DRIVE DOWN THIS BIT OF ROAD" requests?

To stop big ass lorries from trying to traverse through roads that are clearly too narrow for them and as such represent a danger to everyone using/living along that bit of road..

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Trans Pacific Partnership 'fast-track' bill dumped

Haku
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I have not read anything that would suggest TPP is beneficial to the world as a whole.

Do any unbiased articles that praise the TPP actually exist?

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Backwaters in rural England getting non-BT gigabit broadband

Haku
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Re: Sheep may safely browse

But back then Demon did have a COW (Center Of World router) called Ermintrude, which then split into two COWs as Demon grew, one called Ermin and the other called Trude.

/useless fact of the day

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