* Posts by James Greenhalgh

76 posts • joined 30 Apr 2008

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Don't buy your iPad in a McDonald's car park

James Greenhalgh
Coat

Leave it out...

The girl's barking mad handing her money over like that. And to leave the thing in the trunk for all that time without looking to see? She wood have thought she was getting a treet out of that transaction. Hope they root out the perps and proseed to give them hard time for abusing this sap and taking the fruits of her labour!

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Apple frees iOS 4.3 two days before iPad 2 Arrival™

James Greenhalgh
Unhappy

Don't think so.

I was a paid developer last year. Did you try clicking through to the download link? It took me back to the same page I was seeing earlier.

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James Greenhalgh
Thumb Up

Details

Could you point me to where you found it? I've logged in with my developer account to

http://developer.apple.com/xcode/index.php

Where I am met with the message posted above.

Is there an alternate (legal) source? I would be surprised.

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James Greenhalgh
Thumb Down

Using my free developer account...

"Hi James,

You must be an iOS or Mac Developer Program member to download Xcode 4 or you can purchase Xcode 4 from the Mac App Store."

Being part of either of these developer programs will cost me $99 so the article stands.

But never let blah blah bah facts bah blah.

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Jobs' Lion to marry Mac OS X and iOS

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

@ previous comments

Remember, this is a company for whom 100 minor bug fixes and irrelevant new features constituted a major mobile OS revision...

Face it, apple have all but given up on "the most advanced operating system in the world" and I say that writing on a mac castrated to openGL 2.1 by negligence...

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Gizmodo editor reunited with seized goods

James Greenhalgh
Joke

Predictable joke.

Why is it that everything involved with iPhone 4 seems to be being wrongly held?

I'll get my coat.

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Ambulance radios don't like the rain

James Greenhalgh
Joke

Have they considered?

That they may just be holding it wrong?

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Amazon.co.uk takes on Tesco

James Greenhalgh
Heart

Sweet Delicious Mail Order Beer

And a much better range than my local "online" variants carry.

Now if only I could convince myself that The delivery wouldn't be shited up by Royal Mail we'd be on to a winner...

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Apple denies iPhone 4 antenna glitch, blames inaccurate signal bars

James Greenhalgh
Thumb Up

Grab a 'Droid

Settings -> About Phone -> Network.

No need to deal with nonsense of the bars any longer. Quite a nice feature, even if mostly useless for me.

I was amused to see just how poor my signal really was, although I'm on the edge of a 3g network and a higher power 2g one so that may explain it. I was amused to see that while my desire was at -99dBm and showing 2 bars an equivalent iPhone would be showing 4 bars. Nice marketing hack there.

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Government lunatic magnet goes live

James Greenhalgh
WTF?

The best part

Is watching the Nick Clegg intro with Google Audio Transcribe turned on. I know it is mean to bully their voice recognition software... But that is one horrible piece of transcription right there.

"Government, He's listening"

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Google can kill or install apps on citizen Androids

James Greenhalgh
Thumb Down

Except that...

"An attacker could use such an approach to gain a large install base for a seemingly innocent application and then push down a local privilege escalation exploit as soon as a new vulnerability is discovered in the Linux kernel and root the device,"

The large install base waiting for a vulnerability to be discovered to actually allow the rootkit to be installed would be somewhat scuppered by google's auto-delete. Which was the point I was making.

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James Greenhalgh
Thumb Down

K?

So he created a demo of how an app could misrepresnt itself and sit checking for remote code vulnerabilities.

And google showed their demo of what they do in that situation, namely - Remote nuke it.

Then he said "what if someone ran 'INSTALL_APP' with a MITM attack.

And the response is, presumably, when control is restored to the server - Remote nuke it.

And this is bad because if this useful interface exists then it could be used to remove apps google doesn't like?

Well... um... tough. I prefer the knowledge that if an app goes rogue the app dissapears to the fear of "if google goes rogue my pointles game may dissapear".

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Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip

James Greenhalgh
Heart

Indeed

I've just picked up all the different smart phones I could see around my flat and the most natural position for using the internet would cause this issue. And the most natural position for texting. And the most natural position for using any portrait mode app. And handsfree calling... In fact, only when you put it to the ear would it be unnatural. And even then, not terribly so.

Of course, lets not let that get in the way of a bit of blind apple defending by someone so confused about their role in a consumerist society that they feel the need to defend and advertise the companies who feed off their confusion.

What a strange world we live in.

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Microsoft sneak peeks Hotmail makeover

James Greenhalgh
WTF?

Again?

So is this Windows Live Mail upgrading back to being Hotmail, after recently being changed to Windows Live Hotmail which is "the new busy" and replaced Windows Live Mail which was a replacement for MSN Hotmail, which came from hotmail?

Gmail is at least one single brand. Not a yearly rebranding exercise for bored marketing drones.

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F*ck you, thunders disgruntled fanboi Apple user

James Greenhalgh
Pint

Because...

...Jumping out a plane is the number one reason for planes crashing. Jumping is also one of the least efficient ways to use your energy and leads to shorter "awake" times. Most importantly, if in the future we think of new things to use instead of legs jumping will be left behind. You may be trying to jump with what we have given you, but there is no way you can guarantee that you will be quick to adapt the newer, better limbs we have added to our system.

Conclusions: Jumping was created for the 2 legged humanoid era. For two legged humanoids and mice. But the mind-meld era is all about low power consumption and open standards. Perhaps the pilot should concentrate more on flying the plane and less on criticising me for leaving the past behind.

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Pirate Bay co-founder hopes it will die

James Greenhalgh
WTF?

@AC "Oh, Boo hoo"

I'm truly lost for words.

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How a Tory gov will be the most tech-savvy in history

James Greenhalgh
Thumb Up

Excellent!

Our government will be Open Source! I can finally port David Cameron to Linux and sort out that annoying smarmy bug he has had since version 3.2...

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Anti-Internet Explorer 6 protests grow with online petition

James Greenhalgh
Thumb Up

Agreed

Running firefox on mac with a memory leak analyser always makes for a hilarious drinking game. Every time you hit a multiple of 1000 Mallocs that go unfreed and unreferenced take a shot...

Can get through a litre of vodka quite quickly in a normal web browsing session.

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Microsoft loses appeal on Word injunction

James Greenhalgh
Flame

Reading Test

You failed it.

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Webmasters fume as Google profiles signed-out searchers

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

Oh snap!

People who make money gaming a system are upset that they won't be able to game the system as well any more. Are you sure?

There are privacy issues, but these people don't care about them. All they care about is your click, so that they get the opportunity to ruin your privacy first.

Bloody scavengers.

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Apple seeks OS-jacking advert patent

James Greenhalgh
Joke

Meh

Windows has had this for years... They just call it a BSOD

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Windows 7 sales leave Microsoft coffers unstuffed

James Greenhalgh
Paris Hilton

Shock!

Lower prices leads to higher demand and lower marginal revenue?

Get this to the economists quick!

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Nokia lets operators screw with customise the N900

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

Excellent!

Another device I'll have to invalidate the warranty on just to get it working as intended by the engineers. Good Job Nokia... Good job.

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O2 data fails, again

James Greenhalgh
Joke

Ok...

Right. Hands up. Who used a jailbroken iPhone on the network and brought all this down...

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Mozilla Labs' Weave 0.5 aligns Firefox planets

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

Opera

That would be another Opera feature added to firefox then...

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Apple says jailbroken iPhones endanger cell towers

James Greenhalgh
Joke

Finally!

This explains that clause in the iTunes EULA about not using the software for terrorism then...

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Opera chief: history will silence Unite doubters

James Greenhalgh

@apache whining

So you take offence at being told you wouldn't understand Unite. And to prove you would understand it you write a bunch of comments missing the point spectacularly.

Foot, meet rail-gun.

And he's also right about open sourcing things. In order not to branch the distributions in a convoluted way they would need tight, centralised version control. They would need a team of people deciding the direction for the browser. And they would need to be very careful of what code was being changed. Basically, they would be running a company with its main asset revealed. A marketing tool fine. A good strategy. No.

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Microsoft airbrushes anti-Apple ad

James Greenhalgh
Heart

*Ahem*

It is very important that i stick up for a company with millions of marketing dollars because it is important that everyone knows how great they are. And they are great, they're so great you have no idea how great they are because you are blinded by the rival company. That makes you a moron. Do you like being a moron? I bet you and your moron friends gather round and play spot the moron and then just point at yourselves. Ha.

Or maybe you are too poor to afford more expensive Company's products. Or maybe you're too much of a snob to buy cheaper Company's products. In either case you're flawed. And I'm going to tell you how flawed you are because you NEED TO UNDERSTAND. I bet you go to bed at night crying about your inferior, or maybe superior monetary position and wish you had bought a product from the Company I buy products from. Because the company I buy products from is amazing!

Have you ever even looked at your company's products properly? They are not well made at all. I've heard lots of stories of your company's products failing all the time. And I've never heard any problems with my company's products. I love my company so much.

I really feel bad for you. You'll never know the joy of using my company's product. You'll just sit there playing with your company's product all day. And I'll be laughing at you. Ha ha ha. You're such a silly person. If only you were better like me. Then you would have superior products and people would like you more.

Well, it was nice talking with you, but I need to go now. I really appreciated the chance to remind you how great my favourite company was. I bet my favourite company is really proud of me for helping them do their advertising for them. I can't talk to any of my real friends about this sort of thing because they think I'm petty and need to stop advertising my Company. But I just love them so much. Any time anyone says something bad about my Company I have to get in there and show them how wrong they are.

God, I love my company.

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Mac OS X gets rootkit coding manual

James Greenhalgh
Troll

@replies

I see nobody has got a sense of humour running on a mac yet then... Why all the angst?

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James Greenhalgh
Flame

"Nobody takes Mac Security seriously"

Nobody takes anything running on a Mac seriously apart from Hippies, Graphic Designers and Graphic designing hippies.

Mine is the one coated in Kerosine thanks, I'll be at the bar.

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Metallica sticksman gloats over Napster downfall

James Greenhalgh
Thumb Up

Trebles all round!

Now instead of downloading tracks one at a time, sometimes struggling through mistagged things and record label corrupted files I can just download the entire album in one handy torrent file!

Well done Lars, you rock!

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Clever attack exploits fully-patched Linux kernel

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

@AC "Slight off-topic"

But writing Assembly code is, as you found slow, slow, prone to error, inflexible, and worst, architecture-dependant. You write a kick ass kernel now, Intel releases a new processor with an extra 5 registers, just for a laugh. Or switches to 128 bits, or changes endian-ness. Even adding a new instruction set and your kernel has to be rewritten to take advantage of these features.

Releasing a 32/64 bit kernel becomes two major rewrites. All of which has to be done at the basically unreadable byte code level.

There are reasons why Kernels stopped being written in Assembly in the first place.

Contrast to writing in C and compiling with a compiler optimised for the correct architecture.

Unfortunately your 'Tiny experience" programming shows very much as ignorance.

There are times when a nice bit of assembly is very useful for raw control. Then there are 10 million line kernels.

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James Greenhalgh
Flame

Clarity.

So just to be clear, the problem is:

Bad code?

Bad compiler flags?

Bad Compiler?

Uncaring developers?

Arrogant developers?

The C language itself?

Security researchers for bringing up the bug?

A lack of using proper tools to analyse the code?

Hundreds of eyes, hundreds of opinions, hundreds of wrong ideas. Wisdom of the crowd innit?

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DRAM patent holder sues Big Blue

James Greenhalgh
Troll

Trolling?

If a company goes into the research and development of a product or technique but has not have the market capital or position to release the product to market why should it not reap the rewards?

If it feels its design and technique are being used by another manufacturer then why should it not ask for money?

Just because a company is not well known does not make it a troll. As much as you may like it to.

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Mandriva's Linux-on-a-stick refreshed with Spring '09 release

James Greenhalgh
Paris Hilton

@Matt.(Not So... hohoho)Smart

Yes, they ask that you pay for some merchandise thereby supporting development. You are more than free to download for free. To compile it for free. To take a free USB stick and put it on there for free. To ram said USB forceably wherever you want for free.

But if you feel like giving something back to a community and have the coding skills of a cock-fingered rabbit you are also free to give some money to the foundation and recieve a fancy little USB stick in return.

Incidentally... Ubuntu also sells a USB stick preloaded with 9.04. Yes, they want you to PAY FOR it. For a free open source etc, etc, etc...

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Government defeats Tories in 'McKinnon' extradition vote

James Greenhalgh
Heart

In before...

In before the ignorant comments about asberger's, the rehashing of argument about whether he should be debated, the morons yelling "Hang 'im", the UFO jokes, the sympathy posts, the black helicopters, the "just give him a job", the intense and unfounded hatred, the freedom fighters, the submissive America supporters, the anti-Jaqui Smith comments, and of course the inevitable post from Ms. Bee chastising each of the above...

Why even enable comments on these articles, you could just copy the same discussion over from previous threads...

Have a fun afternoon moderating!

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Intel cozying up to Google Chrome OS

James Greenhalgh
Flame

Ah hah!

I understand now Lou, don't worry. You see I was confused for a second that you and me might be designing a system which could work in the real world. Seems you don't require this as an outcome. Which is fine, I guess. But you have to make it clear that you are allowed to bend physical rules like access speeds for silicon or hardware. It means I can too.

In fact, it means I can take your system to its logical conclusion and point out a nasty little truth about your entire idea. You see, what you have designed are a series of interconnected components, that when dealt with provide a change or a signal to other interconnected cells.

Put simply, your cells take some degree of input. Process it. And provide output. - If this sounds similair, it might be... Depends how far through that textbook you got.

Furthermore, as a collection of cells the input is stored in one queue, the output in another. On a switch input becomes output and vice versa. These lists of cells provide a series of instructions of which cells are to be affected on the next cycle. For the sake of historical correctness, lets store these lists on tape. But I mean, you can store it on whatever you want, including physics bending infinite write speed silicon if you want.

Next, you have at least one processor which deals with the Head of the queue, it takes it, performs the calculation needed to do whatever it is the cell needs to do, and provides some change in the output. As this processor deals with the head of the queue, lets be nice and call it, well... Lets call it the Head.

And then we're going to have changed the state of the system, and that will be stored somewhere. Lets call that somewhere the state.

Now we have infinite read and write speed. And, as we have infinitely many processors we presumably have infinitely many heads. Because, as shown in my argument in a previous post, as soon as you don't have either of these things your system becomes indeterminate in terms of real world processing time. Although, for this argument it doesn't particularily matter if you didn't. Because by now you must be noticing something happening here...

--The Million Dollar Question--

So Lou, when you have an infinite number of HEADS, working through a list of instructions stored on TAPE, with infinite read and write speed affecting the STATE and a TABLE who's instruction is, move one place forward. What do you think you have?

It looks like an incomplete, but otherwise Universal Turing Machine to me.

It also has horrible overheads for reraltime processing on anything other than n dedicated processors, where n is the number of *Single Components* in your program. It is why research into a similair thing cannot be used in real robots until hardware provides the ability for millions of dedicated processors, all running a simple vector transformation.

You are not revolutionary. You are not a rebel. You are just misinformed. And so convinced of your own intelligence that criticism is ignored. I'm more than willing to take this up with you on your own site rather than wasting more of the poor Moderatrix's time. But I get the feeling the argument would descend quickly into you calling me an idiot and deleteing any further comment of mine. It seems to be your style. Like a child unwilling to accept that their long held belief in Father Christmas is misguided.

I'll repent. I'll quite happily join the Church of Lou. Just as soon as you deal with the nasty little truths behind your system.

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James Greenhalgh

@Louis - Round 3 - Knockout?

Interesting rebuttal.

So, again I ask the crux of my post.

How do you plan on mapping inherently non-deterministic events into your deterministic system. You have, as I see it, 3 options for controlling input events.

1) Defer them until the next virtual cycle and give them priority, the time to service is then indeterminate and is the number of real cycles needed to complete accessing the input buffer. This input buffer could be in any state.

2) Service them immediately. In which case you are unsure what the current state of the system is when they are serviced.

3) Defer servicing them until the end of the next buffer. In which case you could either overflow the buffer or just drop the request. With no way of determining as a programmer which outcome would occur.

And you similairly have three options with output.

1) Abort each request for a shared resource that occurs while the first is being serviced (disk read/write for example). This prevents a programmer from knowing if his request will be serviced.

2) Defer each request indefinitely, awaiting the correct time in turn for access to the disk. This prevents the programmer from knowing the state of the overall system when the access will complete and adds a layer of asynchonous behaviour.

3) Halt the system until each request is complete - This will slow down your system immensely and add to the issues described for input.

I await, with tepid enthusiasm, your response.

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James Greenhalgh
Flame

@Louis - round two.

Good start... My turn.

1) Your theory on spacetime shows a fundamental misunderstanding of calculus and furthermore of relativity. Even as someone with very little knowledge of physics I can see the problem with your argument. I'll illustrate by applying your same principle to a one dimensional space, with vector (x), clearly, when you differentiate this with respect to x, you get 1. Ergo, by Louis maths movement in a straight line is fundamentally flawed. You see, when differentiating by t you are calculation the rate of change of whatever you are talking about with respect to that variable. The rate of change of t, with respect to t is clearly going to be one. By first principles of calculus. A small change in something creates an equally small change in itself. Congratulations, a huge victory in stating the obvious, but not a victory against space time. In order to measure some velocity in the time direction you would have to paramatise the time vector in your calculations creating a geodesic equation {ct(k), x(k), y(k), z(k)} differentiating now with respect to k, you will find a velocity, acceleration and whatever else you want can be quantified. Your problem here was that you misunderstood calculus. Don't worry it's hard.

b) Your argument that it is possible to create a deterministic way of programming removing the problem of non-determinism. This relies entirely on things being perfect. Your model for computing fails entirely to consider user interactions and the need for interrupts. You argue that hardware can be modelled by a finite state machine, and as such software should be able to be too. But software compensates for the limitations of hardware and solves some of the problems of the non-deterministic world we live in. Consider. By your model two objects could request a read from different areas on a disk, A third object would recieve a signal when the read was complete from object 2, and pass a signal giving the current clock value. Unless your entire system halts while accessing disk, creating a huge bottleneck, you have no possible way of knowing what value will be sent as a signal from object 3.

cat) Your model of programming, by mapping the idea of a neural network into software is inherently slow. On each clock pulse you must pass messages, analyse messages and send messages. From every active software object. And as the only way to communicate with an object is through signals and there is no grand operating system to control it a cycle soon becomes great fun. In a world void of interrupts and controlling software a simple three object cycle soon becomes cataclysmic to the operating of your system. Exponentially growing the number of signals generated for each swap. While a cycle may be easy to see in a small system, in a grand system you can destory everything, sometimes only in rare conditions.

4) Your model of programming fails entirely to consider the fundamental part of the Turing Machine. Input. Returning to 2) Input from a user can occur at any time, while your system is in any state. Lacking any way to handle this input your model collapses spectacularly. If your way of handling input is to give it priority and handle it at the front of the queue, your system is non deterministic. If your model is to add it to the front of the next queue your model is non-deterministic in the time to service. If you add it to anywhere else in the next queue your model is non-deterministic in terms of its own state.

I'm a sodding first year computer science student and I can see holes in everything you do. My friends and I had a good laugh yesterday reading through your page. Of course, we're all blinded by the establishment, etc, etc, etc. But your ideas are so fundamentally broken as to become insanity.

Seriously, seek accademic review. Find out what is wrong with your theories from people with more experience than I have.

Or keep making an arse of yourself online. I mean, I'm really not that bothered...

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James Greenhalgh
FAIL

@louis

You put your arguments forward precisely the way any delusional pseudo-scientist might. Avoiding peer review, avoiding having any effect on the scientific community and avoiding open debate.

You argue your superiority to 'experts' through assertion alone. Discrediting their work as 'so-called' and flawed without providing any support for any of your ideas.

Perhaps you are a unique genius, the likes of which never seen before. A true revolutionary against our broken information society.

I think it's more likely your grandiosity is showing...

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Schneier says he was 'probably wrong' on masked passwords

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

Great!

"Schneier now backs an approach taken by BlackBerry devices and iPhones, which display each character briefly before masking it. "That seems like an excellent compromise," he said."

Translates roughly as "Schneier still misses the point spectacularly and thinks that briefly displaying each character of your password on a screen in front of your colleagues, students, children or general shoulder watchers is a great idea!"

Plenty comments calling him a moron on the other article. Seems he's still a moron now.

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Trading Standards calls for online knife sale ban

James Greenhalgh
FAIL

re: Credit Cards

You can sod off if you think I'm going to be getting myself a credit card I don't need just so that I can buy a knife. Its bad enough I need to pay for a passport/driving license to prove my age despite being in no position financially to go abroad or to run a car around London.

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Student leader demands lectures be 'put against the wall'

James Greenhalgh
Heart

And to think...

Some people say that the NUS is utterly out of touch with the students it represents. Fools they are, contemptuous fools!

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Microsoft fans call for Opera boycott

James Greenhalgh
Gates Horns

*sigh*

Whenever I click a link in Windows Live Messenger the hooks open the page in IE, despite opera being my default browser. Whenever I open a moron app with a small integrated browser, the browser rendering engine is that used by IE, the User-agent reports as IE, and to all intents and purposes I would be as well using IE.

Whenever a site fails to render properly due to non compliance with standards - You can blame IE hacks.

Whenever you have to spend half an hour testing your layouts and scipts in 5 different browsers - You can blame IE workarounds.

Whenever your corporate software relies on you using IE - You can blame the IE hooks.

Tell me which of these things makes a microsoft Auto-monopoly a good thing and I will happily uninstall my Opera and concede your victory.

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Millions opted into UK mobile phone directory

James Greenhalgh
Stop

@:Worried people

The service is pathetic. And seems to be utilising some subtle social engineering to build up its numbers. Y'see, I searched for myself giving them an address better known as Edinburgh Airport. Needless to say, not only was there one result. But there were many results!

Yes, That's right. IN AN AIRPORT.

But of course, for me to see these details I have to input my mobile phone number for them and opt-in to the service.

Do your readers a favour Reg and remove the link to this site...

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Beeb tech boss seeks to expand TV licence online

James Greenhalgh

@James

Oh, I listen to plenty of BBC material. The TV license doesn't cover radio though. Nor has it ever. As for the TV, I enjoy BBC News 24, but that's available worldwide, again with no TV license requirement and chrsit, even that is mediocre these days. Recently I've watched Heroes on the iPlayer, A few episodes of Doctor Who, the usual mix of non-essential stuff that I could really live without.

I don't think I'd be missing out on much at all frankly.

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James Greenhalgh
Thumb Up

Um...

...Ok, I'll just go back to torrenting the ~3 pieces of BBC output worth watching then. Greedy twats.

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Kanye West doesn't have a f***ing Twitter, OK?

James Greenhalgh
Joke

What I don't understand...

...Is why anyone would want to follow a gay fish on twitter anyway...

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DHS tests bomb-proof CCTV by blowing up bus

James Greenhalgh
Joke

Time Travel?

"The collection of forensic data from tragic events like bombings helps us develop strategies to prevent the crime in the first place,"

But by preventing the crime there would be no evidence to collect, so they would be unable to prevent the crime, which would result in the crime happening again, so then they would have the evidence to prevent the crime...

Unless we were in a universe resistant to changes in the time-line, in which case the event would happen anyway and these cameras would be useless.

They haven't thought this plan through at all...

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Mexico? US? Just don't go there, warns EU health chief

James Greenhalgh

Quick!

Everyone get to Madagascar before the Ports close!

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