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* Posts by Blitheringeejit

154 posts • joined 25 Apr 2008

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Spammer uses innocent hacked blogs to punt NAKED PICS of JLaw, McKayla Maroney

Blitheringeejit
Facepalm

Am I the only one here...

...who has never heard of any of these people?

Thank god someone is providing engaging entertainment to distract us from all the war, pestilence and grinding poverty that a lot of the world has to live with every day (some of it generously funded by my own tax-pounds).

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Blitheringeejit
Coat

Infrastructure

This is encouraging - but can't boffins come up with some way of transporting BEER over an internet connection? Not only would this solve the inter-plant transport issue (using VPN) but it would also enable us to buy our own BEER directly from the brewery, by adding a sparkler tap adapter to a spare router ethernet port.

This new technology would dispense (sic) with transporting "packets" over the network layer, and transport "bottles" instead - and there might be problems with compatibility between European brewery BEER streams (in litres) and UK router output, which would have to be in pints.

But these are just engineering problems - surely if we can build a Large Hadron Collider, an internet-based Beer Transport Protocol shouldn't be beyond us? We could call it BTP/IP ...

(Mine's not the one I'm nicking the wallet from in the icon...)

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Blitheringeejit
Pint

Upvote ...

sir/madam, for use of the excellent and under-used word "trub".

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Tripadvisor site coughs to card data breach for a potential 800k users

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Some mistake surely...

>a possible flaw in its mobile application

Really? A mobile card payment app with possible security flaws? Blimey guv, whodathortit?

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What does a flashmob of 1,024 robots look like? Just like this

Blitheringeejit
Pint

I think you ought to know...

....I'm feeling very depressed.

I wonder what sort of real people personalities (TM) would be appropriate for the botling hordes? Perhaps suitable neuro-patterns could be harvested from London commuters, or Glasto-goers..?

Beer, partly because it's Friday, but mostly because

a: if all goes according to plan, things like this will be doing my housework in a few years time;

b: if the plan goes horribly awry and the botlings take over, I'll need a feckin' beer.

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Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people

Blitheringeejit

Would it work on...

...shaved hamsters?

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Snowden on NSA's MonsterMind TERROR: It may trigger cyberwar

Blitheringeejit

>It can only be on tape.

We should get Benny Hill to break in to Bluffdale and replace one of the tapes, leading to a diversionary war which would neatly disguise a heist of Fort Knox.

It's a better plot than the 2003 remake...

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DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss

Blitheringeejit

Would it help...

...to build a Faraday cage around my house?

Or would that just get such enormous currents induced in it that I would be grilled alive from all directions?

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Secure microkernel that uses maths to be 'bug free' goes open source

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Re: Still vulnerable to hacking

>But only via the high speed lead projectile vector.

And don't forget the "failure to change the default admin password" vector.

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Yorkshire cops fail to grasp principle behind BT Fon Wi-Fi network

Blitheringeejit

Re: Not wanting to defend plod, but

>You'll get your computers, tablets, laptops etc back eventually....

And (depending on the nature of the investigation) your children.

But they won't pay for a new front door.

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Snowden wants YOU – yes, YOU – to build spy-busting tech

Blitheringeejit
Happy

Re: 2nd Level

Yes! YES! I see the light!! Jesus H tapdancing Christ I have seeeeen the light!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-_rX4FG_M

(3 mins 15 secs)

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What do we want? CAT VIDEOS! How do we get them? TOR!

Blitheringeejit
Pint

"our own country"..?

Dear Phobos:

Whose country exactly?

As a Brit I've long been resigned to the fact that anything is legal if the government (or a big enough business) does it, and anything is illegal if the government (or a big enough business) doesn't like me doing it - irrespective of what the actual law says. Democracy doesn't appear to have any real power to mitigate this reality, whatever the paperwork says. OK, you have a Bill of Rights and I don't, and you're a Citizen while I am only a Subject - but recent events indicate that the reality on the ground isn't that different.

And to anticipate the obvious brickbats - yes, I will very happily eat humble pie (and my hat) if I'm ever proved wrong by the successful prosecution of Tony Blair for war crimes, or Rupert Murdoch for anything at all.

Pint - partly because it's Friday, but mostly because as any fule kno, BEER is the only thing which makes the modern world bearable.

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Use Tor or 'extremist' Tails Linux? Congrats, you're on an NSA list

Blitheringeejit
Alert

Re: Let's see if this triggers it

O noes - he said "banana"!! Now we're all f*cked...

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CIA rendition jet was waiting in Europe to SNATCH SNOWDEN

Blitheringeejit

Matt Bryant Silver Badge Commentard Rating

I am vaguely aware that large numbers of upvotes can gain a commentard the coveted Silver Badge status. But does El Reg count downvotes towards removal of said status?

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US bloke raises $250k to build robo-masturbation device

Blitheringeejit
Mushroom

Connect to 240V, insert penis..?

I'll pass on that particular pleasure, thankyou. There are some areas of personal safety that I won't risk even with double insulation. (Obvious icon)

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Blitheringeejit
Coat

re: E&E

> the main thing I can remember is the procedure for making a tasty dinner out of a live rabbit.

One hopes that this process began with putting the dear little bunny out of its misery? Or does this recipe come from the Ozzy Osbourne guide to bush tucker?

(OK, OK, I know he never really did the bat thing. Coat...)

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Still using e-mail? Marketers say you're part of DARK SOCIAL

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Re: I hate to think what I'd get if facebook shut down.

It would be nice to think we'd all get a life.

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Blitheringeejit
Pint

Re: Was compuserve right all along?

IIRC they were the first subscription-funded network to avoid UK taxation by pretending they weren't doing business in the UK, when they clearly were. So in that sense, yes,

Pint - because my preferred social network is still the pub.

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Russia to suspend US GPS stations in tit-for-tat spat

Blitheringeejit
Headmaster

Re: Where have you been Murphy?!

All this discourse on world history is most enlighening, but somewhat missing the worst offence committed in this troll-ful post. Which is, of course:

" to use an Americanism, stop looking a gift horse in the mouth"

The poster may care to note that this "Americanism" was used at least as early as circa 400AD by St. Jerome, in his Letter to the Ephesians.

Glad we've settled that one.

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MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

Re: So...

At last, a useful plan for all the XP machines which will shortly be toast. Upvote!

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Five UK banks sign up to hook up customers' ACCOUNTS to their MOBILE DEVICES

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

>The two things banks really hate are customers and cash.

So as well as being quicker and more convenient than cards, phone apps, or other high-tech payment mechanisms, using cash also has the added bonus of annoying the banks - result!

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Cheeky LOHAN chaps in gutsy snatch at El Reg's paper spaceplane crown

Blitheringeejit

RE: ISS launch

Fair comment - though intuitively I would expect the lateral velocity would make a safe re-entry rather unlikely, given the flammability of your average paper plane. Unless the very gradual transition from near-vacuum to full atmosphere would provide enough gentle drag for something as low-mass as a paper plane to re-enter without burning up..? Any spacey scientists out there with a good answer for this one?

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MPs back call to boycott low-taxed tat from Amazon over Xmas

Blitheringeejit
Megaphone

Re: Sort your own mess out first..

>the reasoning goes something like "Amazon are about to create a thousand jobs somewhere in the UK.."

Yes, and the same reasoning goes "...and in the process they will send a few hundred small British businesses to the wall because, being unable to offshore their corporation tax liabilities, these businesses will be unable to compete with Amazon on price."

The price of buying from Amazon is that the government has less money to spend on schools, hospitals, police, defence etc. I hope you think that's worth the fiver you saved by buying your latest bit of iBollocks from Amazon instead of from your local (or web-based) independent British retailer. I agree that it's the government's job to make tax laws which work, but we have a role to play too, in choosing who we do business with.

In fact, our politics is now so fucked up that choosing where we spend our money is probably a more effective way of changing things that voting.

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LOHAN buffs body for sizzling vinyl wrap

Blitheringeejit
Coat

You're not fooling anyone ...

... by calling it "vinyl wrap" - it's obviously sticky-back plastic.

Mine's the one with the Blue Peter badge on the lapel...

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BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

Re: Cloudy truth

>>All advantages and drawbacks of "the Cloud" can be concisely explained simply by replacing "the Cloud" with "someone else's computer".

That's the one going in my sig - upvote!

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Post-Profit Prophet RUSSELL BRAND is the HUMBLE CHRIST of STARTUPS

Blitheringeejit
Mushroom

Fair point, but...

>>Brand's an idiot. A pseudo intellectual without a real understanding of how business works.

Maybe so - but many of us would argue that business is an idiot which has no interest in how people or society work. Which is why business should not be allowed to dominate people and society in the way that it currently does, any more than Brand should be allowed to chair a merchant bank.

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MANUAL STIMULATION: Whack me with some proper documentation

Blitheringeejit
Unhappy

You think you're having a bad time...

...not getting manuals with your software. How do you think I feel - I used to earn a decent living writing the bloody things. I'm a relic of a bygone age.

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Ten top stories from New Who

Blitheringeejit
Unhappy

Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat????

No "The Doctor's Wife"???

Head and shoulders above the lot. No disrespect to Davies, Moffat et al, but Neil Gaiman is in a different league.

That is all.

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Flippin' heck! Magnetic poles of Sun are gyrating: What Earth needs to know

Blitheringeejit
Mushroom

The REAL Climate Change angle

The sun is not the cause of climate change on earth - rather the reverse. As any fule kno, these changes in the solar atmosphere are caused by humans building lots of windmills, which are gradually blowing the corona away, and will eventually cause the sun to go nova on our ass.

But at least when we go, we'll all have a lovely tan.

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Chinese Bitcoin exchange DISAPPEARS, along with £2.5 MEEELLION

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Plus ça ne change jamais

>>This happened over 2 weeks ago and the price of bitcoin still continues to rise:

Thus proving:

1: that there's always money in illegal drugs and guns, just like there is in legal drugs and guns, even though it gets stolen quite often from buyers and sellers in both markets;

2: that an offer of a free lunch will always find takers, no matter how many times it turns out to be a shit sandwich.

People, eh?

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Need a job? The 'Internet of Things' WANTS YOU

Blitheringeejit
Coat

Re: What skills?

>>I'm especially proud of the Bayesian Inference Engine I built on my Pi to run the heating.

So that's where I've been going wrong - I've been using my Pi to control the gas boiler! Any suggestions for where I can buy a Bayesian Inference Engine, and how many cylinders it should have to heat a 4-bed semi?

Mine's the one with the gravy stain, cos I keep a Pi in my pocket...

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Apple's Steve Jobs was a SEX-crazed World War II fighter pilot, says ex

Blitheringeejit
Trollface

@Jake

>>To him, making the hardware work for TheGreatUnwashed[tm] was what was hot & heavy.

In which case, it's a shame that he insisted his company's products should be so grossly overpriced, thus ensuring that the GreatUnwashed[tm] wouldn't ever get to use them.

And speaking as one who's been greatly unwashed for many decades, I'm disturbed to find I'm breaching someone's trademark - any clues on who registered that one? Should I be expecting a large boot at my front door any time soon?

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BBC's Clangers returns in £5m 'New Age' remake

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

Caring for the planet

So we'll be seeing Clanger picket-lines protesting at efforts by intergalactic megacorporations to frack for soup..? Up with this sort of thing!

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British support for fracking largely unmoved by knowledge of downsides

Blitheringeejit
Facepalm

An irrelevant sideshow, albeit a dangerously distracting one

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24369244

Fracking is not the freakin' issue. We need to talk about carbon. That is all.

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A drone that can walk home

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

I'll upvote this...

... for introducing me to the word "whegs".

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NASA gets red-hot shots of Sun in action as IRIS goes online

Blitheringeejit
Alert

All this talk of solar panels panels and sophisticated electronics is all very well, but...

...please can someone answer the most important question, which is: am I safer wearing my tinfoil hat, or taking it off?

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PORNAGEDDON: Sexy bloggrs stung by Tumblr smut smackdown

Blitheringeejit
Stop

"Adult"..?

I wish the compulsive categorisers of the modern world would stop using the phrase "adult content" when they mean "sex", "erotica" or "pornography". Speaking as an adult (in years if not mentality), I have many interests, and only one of them involves the kind of content under discussion here.

Small wonder that the youth are completely obsessed with sex - they think it's all that adults are supposed to be interested in.

Also, the word "adultery" is unhelpful here too.

Something should be done. By someone. Immediately.

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Heavenly SPEARS gives LOHAN a hot satisfying BANG

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

Re: Switch Labelling

Agree completely with the need to dramatise things up a bit. Especially after attending this a couple of weeks ago:

http://www.livefromjodrellbank.com/news/transmission_004-the-australian-pink-floyd-show-info/

The show was MC'd by one of the top Jodrell Bank boffins, and just before he introduced the headline act (which involved projecting films onto the Lovell telescope dish), he used the site walkie-talkie to issue the immortal instruction "Telescope to Show Position". Whereupon the dish stopped looking upwards and was trundled round to give optimum audience experience:

http://www.ctmd.co.uk/JodrellBank.jpg

If they'd had a charity auction for the opportunity to issue that instruction, I would have bid muchly.

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1953: How Quatermass switched Britons from TV royalty to TV sci-fi

Blitheringeejit
Pint

Re: Um...

>the ready acceptance of high quality Science Fiction as suitable viewing fodder for the masses

By which I assume you mean the masses who could afford a TV set in the 1950s? I would imagine that was a pretty middle-class slice of the population, so probably educated and (unlike the modern middle classes) somewhat disposed towards reading, thinking, and considering complicated ideas.

Which is not to say that the working classes of the time weren't similarly disposed - again unlike their modern equivalents. But not many of them could afford a telly.

Beer because it's Friday, and all the folks who made all the excellent, thought-provoking, intelligent TV of my childhood deserve one. What a shame it's all gone so horribly wrong since... (Where's the grumpy old man icon?)

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Blitheringeejit
Headmaster

Re: Was it colder then?

>We used to play games in the abandoned ... pillar boxes

You must have been a *very* small child at the time!

I think pill-boxes were/are a rural thing - I only started to notice them when I moved out of the city, and there are plenty left, particularly at spots where roads cross rivers or canals. They were, after all, built to last.

I also played on many "bombsites" in my 60s childhood - though on reflection I think most of these were slum-clearances of the 50s and 60s, not actual bomb craters. Manchester wasn't anywhere near as badly peppered as London, or other industrial centres like Coventry.

Mine's the duffle coat with the mittens sewn onto a string running between the sleeves...

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'The Apprentice' is a load of old codswallop, says biz prof

Blitheringeejit

Staffordshire Uni

...is AFAIK an mash-up of North Staffs Poly and one or two of the old FE colleges in Stafford. There's a large site on the edge of Stafford, as well as the old Poly site in Stoke.

I went to Keele too, but I don't think it counts as an alma mater cos there weren't no latin spoke there in my day.

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Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play CRICKET

Blitheringeejit
Joke

Stoolball..?

Are we back to the poo-throwing here?

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Brits' HSBC bank cards, net access goes TITSUP

Blitheringeejit
Mushroom

Re: Bring back the cash economy!

> Don't lie. The council have no obligation to accept £800 in 2p pieces.

I'm not lying - I knew at the time that they'd have been within their rights to refuse it, but I think the person at the pay-desk was (surprise surprise) not trained to this level of detail about her job. And I think the council needed the money.

Mind you, I felt so sorry for her afterwards that I went out and bought her a box of chocolates. There's no point in kicking the little people for the sins of the system.

Actually I think I am lying in one respect - it was only about 300 quid, not 800. But it did happen.

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Blitheringeejit
Pint

Bring back the cash economy!

For years I've used cards only for two purposes: online purchases (credit card) and withdrawing cash from a machine firmly attached to a High St clearing bank (debit card). Withdrawls are generally in amounts sufficient to keep me going for a week or so, so the odd day of outage isn't a problem - especially because when one bank's machine is down, there's another bank just along the street I can go to instead.

Everything bought in person is with cash, up to a value where cheques or bank transfers are acceptable, maybe 500 quid or so. I've even been known to buy a second-hand car with four grand in used 20s. (And come to think of it, I've also been known to pay an 800-quid council tax bill in 2p pieces - but that's what you get if you make me angry.)

Cash is brilliant - you never have to wait for it to be authorised, no-one can nick it without you noticing, and no advertising targetters or police-state-surveillors know what you spend your money on. IIRC cards were originally sold to us on the basis that carrying a card was safer than carrying cash, because you could get mugged and have your wallet nicked. But now you can lose far more by having your card cloned or your account hacked - and you can still get your wallet nicked, except now they have an incentive to pull out your fingernails one by one until you tell them your pin number.

Also, I hear the government disapprove of people using cash, so it's worth doing just to annoy them.

NB - please note that the word "cash" is obsolete usage - the proper term is "beer tokens".

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Nominet sacks freshly-hired exec implicated in hospital 'cover-up' scandal

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Lovely thought, but

... I fear we will await the surgical removal of Fred Goodwin's pension for a good while yet.

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Hubble spies unlikely planet being born in hostile neighborhood

Blitheringeejit
Coat

A Dyson sphere ...

... would surely comprise a region of space completely cleared of all dust?

And probably also equipped with an improbably-shaped blower-heater-hand-dryer...

<ahem>

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Police 'stumped' by car thefts using electronic skeleton key

Blitheringeejit
Megaphone

Re: Depends where you park

This is exactly why we have to fight to keep our libraries open!

<--But quietly

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Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

Blitheringeejit
Happy

Hows about...

...a layer of fresh basil leaves under the cheese, and a sprinkling of cumin seeds on top before grilling.

I'm also amazed that most contributors seem happy with terms like "cheddar" to describe the cheese. We need to be far more precise - if you think you like cheddar, try Isle of Mull and blow your mind. Shropshire Blue has some proper punch to it too, and if you've never tried a sheep milk cheeses like Swaledale on a toastie thing, give one a go - more subtle, but very flavourful.

My proper favourite is mushrooms lightly fried in garlic and a squeeze of lemming, topped with a bit of chopped flat-leaf parsley and then layer of cheese (grated parmesan, isle of mull or maybe a good pecorino or gruyere) and grilled - but I'm not sure if that's technically cheese on toast or something else.

And the bread, of course, is home made granary with loads of seeds and a few chopped nuts thrown in for good measure.

In summary - even the simplest snack should have at least 10 quality ingredients, and the making of it should be an act of self-love.

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Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

Blitheringeejit
Coat

Since Clara can now provide the brains of the outfit...

...isn't it time to give the lead role some brawn, ie Ray Winstone? It's about time some of the Doctor's enemies ended up in A&E having a sonic screwdriver removed from where the sun don't shine. (Question for the dedicated fans here - do cybermen have arseholes?)

But failing that, I upvote your Miranda Richardson and raise you a Ben Zephenia.

Just a minute, it's Wednesday I should be working...

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We've done it - we've gone and made LONG-LIFE BEER

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Down

Re: Hops

I think the clue to the credibility of what you were told lies in the word "factory". You mught want to try getting your beer from a brewery. :)

Guinness is pasteurised and filtered to remove/kill anything which might make it go off - which includes most of the things which make proper live beer taste good. They used to sell some live Guinness brewed and bottled in Dublin - I'm not sure if they still do - but the draught stuff (which isn't draught at all, it's forced out under CO2 or nitrogen pressure) is dead as as dodo, and tastes like it too.

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