* Posts by Ralph B

1246 posts • joined 12 Apr 2007

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UK rail signals could be hacked to cause crashes, claims prof

Ralph B
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"Reg reader Charles pondered"

>Reg reader Charles pondered

Hmm. Commentards are appearing in the articles themselves now, are they? How does that work? Is there a badge level beyond gold now?

(Seems unlikely, if it's this fella with just one post to his name.)

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Flying giant octopus menaces New York

Ralph B
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Re: Can I just say...

Yes, and it would have been a bummer if it had come down on that fireman.

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Easy ... easy ... Aw CRAP! SpaceX rocket ALMOST lands on ocean hoverbase

Ralph B
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Practice Makes Perfect

SpaceX shouldn't feel bad. I usually take 3 attempts to make perfect landing too.

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Google’s plan for WORLD DOMINATION takes shape. And it begins with a patent

Ralph B
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Who needs a robot army?

Who needs a robot army when you could employ a fleet of Google driverless vehicles packed with explosives?

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Radio 4 and Dr K on programming languages: Full of Java Kool-Aid

Ralph B
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Re: “Goto statement considred harmful”

>I remember using a Basic dialect which had a "return n" instruction

Are you sure you are not getting confused with INTERCAL's COMEFROM instruction?

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Ralph B
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Re: “Goto statement considred harmful”

I've recently been discovering that Asterisk's implementation of GOTOs in extensions.conf are not just harmful but downright hostile. I mean: " same => n,GotoIf($[${GOSUB_RETVAL} = 0]?dial)", FFS!

Don't take drugs while designing programming languages, kids!

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Ralph B
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Write Once ...

> “write once, run anywhere” marketing, rather than the run one, ruin everywhere

I understood it was "write once, debug everywhere".

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Ralph B
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"soi-disant"?

Ignorant me discovers that "soi-disant" is defined as "self-styled; so-called". The latter definition might make it appear that The Register is having a bit of a go at Dr Krotoski. Say it's not so. I really wouldn't like to see The Reg get caught up with the Gamergate controversy. Pretty please.

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Grandmaster FLUSH: Chess champ booted for allegedly cheating with iPod app in the loo

Ralph B
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Re: I'm confused too

> That mobile phone appears to be an iPod Touch

I wonder if the rules explicitly forbid the use of mobile phones, and so he hoped to argue that the iPod Touch would be allowed, since it is not a mobile phone ... ?

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Fraudsters target Nazi Android malware at Russian bank customers

Ralph B
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Fifth Reich?

Did I miss the Fourth Reich?

(Hmm. The First, Second and Third Reichs lasted 844, 47 and 12 years respectively. So, extrapolating from that data, I suppose it is quite likely that the Fourth Reich has been and gone without anyone noticing.)

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Fancy a wristjob from Tim Cook? TOUGH LUCK, you CAN'T HAVE ONE

Ralph B
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Hey, don't knock it! I'm really looking forward to seeing Will It Blend? "review" a $17K Apple Watch Edition.

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Indian cops spice up protests with pepper spray-armed DRONES

Ralph B
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Joke

I'm warning you

It'll all end in tears!

(Especially when the rioters hijack the police drones and turn them back against the police.)

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Google Ads go NUCLEAR, foist exploit kit

Ralph B
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Re: AdBlock

Unfortunately, some of my favorite websites - including The Register - are financed mainly by the ads they allow to be shown on their pages. Or at least, I am told they are there if you don't use an adblocker. (Actually, I have seen them when I very occasional visit on my iPad.)

It must make ad rate-negotiation quite interesting. The Reg: "Our visitors are responsible for $10,000+ of IT product purchasing per year, so pay us more." Advertiser: "Yeah, but most of them use adblockers, so charge us less."

It would be nice if the advertisers could be trusted not to do bad things, but since they are in the business of telling lies for money, that's hardly going to happen, is it?

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Anti-gay Indiana starts backtracking on hated law after tech pressure

Ralph B
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Boffin

Re: Politics. politics....and duplicity

If we accept that there is a genetic basis for homosexuality, then homophobic religeous groups should actually welcome gay marriage because it must inevitably lead to a reduced occurrence of the genes responsible for homosexuality, since gay couples tend not to produce offspring, whereas gay individuals, forced by conventions of society into different-sex marriage, may nevertheless produce offspring.

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BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Ralph B
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LP05

For younger readers, I think this and this are what we are reading about.

For older readers, here's some more old stuff to get misty-eyed about.

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Tim Cook: I'll give just a THIRD of what Gates gave to charity last year

Ralph B
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That Tim Cook Picture

That Tim Cook picture ... is he modelling the Apple Watch Edition Plus?

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Amazon cloud threatens to SMASH the fundamental laws of PHYSICS

Ralph B
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@ Electron Shepherd re: Interesting ToS

> 4. It specifically excludes business use - big sighs of relief all round at DropBox HQ?

Or more tears, because it forbids DropBox from running their entire business off a single Amazon Infinite Everything account.

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I see you have the gTLD that goes .ping!

Ralph B
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ping test.ping

$ ping test.ping

ping: unknown host test.ping

$ # Too soon?

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700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

Ralph B
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Headmaster

Agree, but ...

> "At the end of the day, weight loss requires more than just a dietary supplement."

Broadly true, but what if the "supplement" was a diarrhetic and/or an emetic?

(Not that I would choose to shit and/or vomit my way to weight loss.)

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Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

Ralph B
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True. Then there's the cases of the speed limit signs on the motorways in Italy which carry a small-print subtitle of (something like) "In caso di nebbia" - which only Italian-speaking drivers will know means "In case of fog." Does Ford's computer speak Italian? (And whatever other languages this problem might repeated for?)

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HUGE Aussie asteroid impact sent TREMORS towards the EARTH'S CORE

Ralph B
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Trollface

Explanation

> we can’t find an extinction event that matches these collisions

Not surprising, surely. Nothing that happens in Australia ever has any impact in the rest of the world.

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Drug drone not high enough: Brit lags' copter snared on prison wire

Ralph B
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Re: Didn't this happen already?

Presumably there might be previous / other drone deliveries that didn't fail, didn't get detected and therefore didn't make the news.

These failures are likely the small tip of a very large iceberg of successful drone deliveries, that Amazon could feel inspired by.

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First figures in and it doesn't look good for new internet dot-words

Ralph B
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Wildcard TLD

The next stage of the ICANN TLD shakedown should be to offer a .* TLD where domains registered would be automatically registered in all other TLDs. It'll cost millions (billions?) to have one, but think of the savings in individual registrations, lawyer fees, admin etc.

Then, when every company and organisation has got themselves a .* domain, ICANN could maybe introduce some new TLDs to categorise these .* domains by, oh, I don't know, nationality, commercial or non-commercial use, etc.

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Apple boots Windows 7 out of Boot Camp

Ralph B
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Re: Looks stupid from an enterprise perspective...

It does look odd, doesn't it? Window 7 is still at 56% of OS market share. And Windows 8.x & 10 are together less that 15%.

Why would they turn their back on the biggest fraction of their potential customers? A fraction which is 10x bigger than that of current Mac OS users?

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BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

Ralph B
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Dog Roll

I guess the BOFH was talking about these. Are they sold outside of NZ? It might have been more universally comprehensible to have the cafeteria cooking with canned dog food.

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My self-driving cars may lead to human driver ban, says Tesla's Musk

Ralph B
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Self-driving cars are "almost a solved problem"

Yeah, but don't forget the old ninety-ninety rule, Elon.

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LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

Ralph B
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Alternatively

Alternatively, how about a "waiting for the LOHAN tankard" collector mug?

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LaCie snuggles up to Apple’s slim 12-inch MacBook with fat HDD

Ralph B
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Re: And another thing...

LaCie is French. They would have eaten your carrier pigeons.

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The voters hate Google. Heeeeyyyy... how about a 'Google Tax'?

Ralph B
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I don't hate Google

I don't hate Google. But then I'm not a voter. (Been out of the country too long.) So, I suppose Osborne might know his public better than I initially thought.

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Can't pay $349 for an Apple Watch? Get a Chinese knockoff for less than $50

Ralph B
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Quick on the draw?

>Less than 24 hours after Tim Cook announced Apple's new wrist-puter

Get out of that Apple reality distortion field. Apple presented this product 6 months ago. I remember it. Please stop pretending that never happened.

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Net neutrality secrecy: No one knows what the FCC approved (BUT Google has a good idea)

Ralph B
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Oh Really, O'Rielly?

I thought it was always spelled "O'Reilly", but this one really seems to be "O'Rielly". I wonder how that happened?

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Scavengers pick bones of collapsed telly-spaff upstart Aereo

Ralph B
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Adapting an Old Joke

Q. How do you make a small fortune at a TV streaming startup?

A. Start with a large fortune.

$100m in funding turned into $2m at wind-up. Mission accomplished, broadcasters.

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Ralph B
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Re: Another suggestion

But I think it may be worth noting that Willie Rushton died at 59 from complications following heart surgery.

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So long, Lenovo, and no thanks for all the super-creepy Superfish

Ralph B
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Reputation Recovery

Now that they've trashed the reputation and saleabilty of their products, I wonder if Lenovo might consider selling their PC division to someone more professional and ethical? Someone like IBM perhaps?

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Apple design don Jony Ive: Build-your-own phone is BOLLOCKS

Ralph B
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Two Points

Point 1: I'd be more ready to accept Ive's comments on Motorola's support for user-customisations if I hadn't first seen the god-awful colours he chose for the iPhone 5c.

Point 2: I'd be more ready to accept Ive's comments on the responsibilities of designers if I hadn't first seen the god-awful protruding camera lens on the iPhone 6 which, BTW, necessitates user-customisation with phone-cases which are often of very dubious design taste.

So ... twat.

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Rap for fap stack in hack trap flap: This XXX site caught an STI (Script Transmitted Infection)

Ralph B
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Penetration

> It's not clear how deep RedTube, part of the massive PornHub network, was penetrated

From the reputation of the site, I'm guessing the attackers exploited a well-known back door.

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Amazon's delivery drones SHOT DOWN by new FAA rules

Ralph B
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Administrative Schizophrenia

So self-driving cars are OK, but autonomous flying drones are not? How so? It can't have anything to do with Google spending 3x more on federal lobbying than Amazon, can it?

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'Kickass' Somali pirates get their asses kicked by Japanese ass-kickers

Ralph B
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Re: meanwhile

Meanwhile, in the real world, a fall of snow caused our satelite DVR to screw up the wife's recording of Broadchurch S02E04, which was fixed by a google for the bittorrent of it (via kickass.to, AFAIR.) In 2 minutes we could start watching. Very convenient, I thought, and the first time I've used BT in months. (Specially since NetFlix arrived.)

Similarly, I managed to miss the first 2 episodes of Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe, so watched them both via YouTube.

I'm in Europe so iPlayer (and ITV's equivalent) is forbidden to me. We do actually have BBC and ITV channels available via our cable TV provider, but have no DVR functionality configured for it.

So, am I a pirate? Or a terrorist?

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Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

Ralph B
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I'm lovin' it

S'funny, innit, McDonald's slips a mouse tail in a burger and all hell breaks loose but these guys stick bits of whale-bollock in their beer and we're all celebrating.

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Tor pedo torpedoed: Ex-US cybersecurity guru jailed for 25 years in abuse pics sting

Ralph B
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Bad to Worse

> He also said that his time in jail had allowed him to read the Bible

Well, that proves it, the man is clearly an incorrigible recidivist.

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Microsoft fires legal salvo at phone 'tech support' scammers

Ralph B
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Microsoft are bound to know ...

> Microsoft says it has received 65,000 calls complaining about the scam

If they just waited for another 535 complaints to come in, they'd probably find the problem has got a lot better, all by itself.

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NY premiere of The Interview cancelled after hackers' terrorist threats

Ralph B
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Re: Actually...

> I think the studio that made the film win this one

I thought the same. But if the film also gets cancelled from theatrical release, then it'll be a big loss for the studio. (Unless they have insurance for that sort of thing ... ? (It's been a while since I watched The Producers.))

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Sony Pictures hit by 'fightback on filesharers' DDoS claims – report

Ralph B
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Sony's DDoS Resources

If Sony were to add DDoS launching code to all the PlayStations in the world, in the next software upgrade, that'd make a sizeable botnet resource, don't you think?

I'm sure they haven't done such a thing, but it's gotta be a temptation, eh?

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

Ralph B
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Re: Sheep puns?

Hope it's got good baaandwidth.

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The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three

Ralph B
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Small Correction

"Little Britain" was originally on Radio 4.

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Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Ralph B
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Re: Money speaks, as usual

> The only thing that article doesn't cover is charging

They seem to be on a morally/legally dangerous path. First they develop a tool that promises to block ads; then they try to collect money from advertisers to nevertheless let the ads through; next they will try to collect money from users for really blocking the ads they initially promised to; then they'll try to collect yet more money from advertisers to really let through the ads they've already paid to be let through ... and so on.

Eventually, I expect, the lawyers will do rather well out of it, but everyone else with lose out.

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Yotaphone 2: The two-faced pocket-stroker with '100 hours' batt life

Ralph B
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Re: E-ink displays

> Media InkPhone

Having now seen a review of the Midia InkPhone I'm quite glad I didn't get to buy one.

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Ralph B
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Re: E-ink displays

> Quite a good idea for a phone, for those of us who would be happy with black and white of course.

I'd be very happy with an eInk-only phone too. Unfortunately, I only know of one of these - the Midia InkPhone - and they seem to have sold out of however few they made of them.

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Ralph B
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Re: sailfish....

> Would be nice to sailfish on it, since Jolla already has the other half for E-ink....

What do you know that Jolla aren't saying? The Other Half appears to be merely a theme-change on the LED display based on the colour of the back that has been mounted. Nothing about e-ink.

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Knockoff knockdown: Euro cops shutter 300 'counterfeit' domains

Ralph B
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Has anyone checked ... ?

Has anyone checked if the Amazon and eBay websites are still there?

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