* Posts by Ralph B

1232 posts • joined 12 Apr 2007

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BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Ralph B
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LP05

For younger readers, I think this and this are what we are reading about.

For older readers, here's some more old stuff to get misty-eyed about.

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Tim Cook: I'll give just a THIRD of what Gates gave to charity last year

Ralph B
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That Tim Cook Picture

That Tim Cook picture ... is he modelling the Apple Watch Edition Plus?

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Amazon cloud threatens to SMASH the fundamental laws of PHYSICS

Ralph B
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@ Electron Shepherd re: Interesting ToS

> 4. It specifically excludes business use - big sighs of relief all round at DropBox HQ?

Or more tears, because it forbids DropBox from running their entire business off a single Amazon Infinite Everything account.

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I see you have the gTLD that goes .ping!

Ralph B
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ping test.ping

$ ping test.ping

ping: unknown host test.ping

$ # Too soon?

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700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

Ralph B
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Headmaster

Agree, but ...

> "At the end of the day, weight loss requires more than just a dietary supplement."

Broadly true, but what if the "supplement" was a diarrhetic and/or an emetic?

(Not that I would choose to shit and/or vomit my way to weight loss.)

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Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

Ralph B
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True. Then there's the cases of the speed limit signs on the motorways in Italy which carry a small-print subtitle of (something like) "In caso di nebbia" - which only Italian-speaking drivers will know means "In case of fog." Does Ford's computer speak Italian? (And whatever other languages this problem might repeated for?)

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HUGE Aussie asteroid impact sent TREMORS towards the EARTH'S CORE

Ralph B
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Trollface

Explanation

> we can’t find an extinction event that matches these collisions

Not surprising, surely. Nothing that happens in Australia ever has any impact in the rest of the world.

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Drug drone not high enough: Brit lags' copter snared on prison wire

Ralph B
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Re: Didn't this happen already?

Presumably there might be previous / other drone deliveries that didn't fail, didn't get detected and therefore didn't make the news.

These failures are likely the small tip of a very large iceberg of successful drone deliveries, that Amazon could feel inspired by.

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First figures in and it doesn't look good for new internet dot-words

Ralph B
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Wildcard TLD

The next stage of the ICANN TLD shakedown should be to offer a .* TLD where domains registered would be automatically registered in all other TLDs. It'll cost millions (billions?) to have one, but think of the savings in individual registrations, lawyer fees, admin etc.

Then, when every company and organisation has got themselves a .* domain, ICANN could maybe introduce some new TLDs to categorise these .* domains by, oh, I don't know, nationality, commercial or non-commercial use, etc.

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Apple boots Windows 7 out of Boot Camp

Ralph B
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Re: Looks stupid from an enterprise perspective...

It does look odd, doesn't it? Window 7 is still at 56% of OS market share. And Windows 8.x & 10 are together less that 15%.

Why would they turn their back on the biggest fraction of their potential customers? A fraction which is 10x bigger than that of current Mac OS users?

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BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

Ralph B
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Dog Roll

I guess the BOFH was talking about these. Are they sold outside of NZ? It might have been more universally comprehensible to have the cafeteria cooking with canned dog food.

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My self-driving cars may lead to human driver ban, says Tesla's Musk

Ralph B
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Self-driving cars are "almost a solved problem"

Yeah, but don't forget the old ninety-ninety rule, Elon.

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LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

Ralph B
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Alternatively

Alternatively, how about a "waiting for the LOHAN tankard" collector mug?

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LaCie snuggles up to Apple’s slim 12-inch MacBook with fat HDD

Ralph B
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Re: And another thing...

LaCie is French. They would have eaten your carrier pigeons.

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The voters hate Google. Heeeeyyyy... how about a 'Google Tax'?

Ralph B
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I don't hate Google

I don't hate Google. But then I'm not a voter. (Been out of the country too long.) So, I suppose Osborne might know his public better than I initially thought.

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Can't pay $349 for an Apple Watch? Get a Chinese knockoff for less than $50

Ralph B
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Quick on the draw?

>Less than 24 hours after Tim Cook announced Apple's new wrist-puter

Get out of that Apple reality distortion field. Apple presented this product 6 months ago. I remember it. Please stop pretending that never happened.

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Net neutrality secrecy: No one knows what the FCC approved (BUT Google has a good idea)

Ralph B
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Oh Really, O'Rielly?

I thought it was always spelled "O'Reilly", but this one really seems to be "O'Rielly". I wonder how that happened?

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Scavengers pick bones of collapsed telly-spaff upstart Aereo

Ralph B
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Adapting an Old Joke

Q. How do you make a small fortune at a TV streaming startup?

A. Start with a large fortune.

$100m in funding turned into $2m at wind-up. Mission accomplished, broadcasters.

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Ralph B
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Re: Another suggestion

But I think it may be worth noting that Willie Rushton died at 59 from complications following heart surgery.

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So long, Lenovo, and no thanks for all the super-creepy Superfish

Ralph B
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Reputation Recovery

Now that they've trashed the reputation and saleabilty of their products, I wonder if Lenovo might consider selling their PC division to someone more professional and ethical? Someone like IBM perhaps?

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Apple design don Jony Ive: Build-your-own phone is BOLLOCKS

Ralph B
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Two Points

Point 1: I'd be more ready to accept Ive's comments on Motorola's support for user-customisations if I hadn't first seen the god-awful colours he chose for the iPhone 5c.

Point 2: I'd be more ready to accept Ive's comments on the responsibilities of designers if I hadn't first seen the god-awful protruding camera lens on the iPhone 6 which, BTW, necessitates user-customisation with phone-cases which are often of very dubious design taste.

So ... twat.

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Rap for fap stack in hack trap flap: This XXX site caught an STI (Script Transmitted Infection)

Ralph B
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Penetration

> It's not clear how deep RedTube, part of the massive PornHub network, was penetrated

From the reputation of the site, I'm guessing the attackers exploited a well-known back door.

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Amazon's delivery drones SHOT DOWN by new FAA rules

Ralph B
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Administrative Schizophrenia

So self-driving cars are OK, but autonomous flying drones are not? How so? It can't have anything to do with Google spending 3x more on federal lobbying than Amazon, can it?

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'Kickass' Somali pirates get their asses kicked by Japanese ass-kickers

Ralph B
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Re: meanwhile

Meanwhile, in the real world, a fall of snow caused our satelite DVR to screw up the wife's recording of Broadchurch S02E04, which was fixed by a google for the bittorrent of it (via kickass.to, AFAIR.) In 2 minutes we could start watching. Very convenient, I thought, and the first time I've used BT in months. (Specially since NetFlix arrived.)

Similarly, I managed to miss the first 2 episodes of Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe, so watched them both via YouTube.

I'm in Europe so iPlayer (and ITV's equivalent) is forbidden to me. We do actually have BBC and ITV channels available via our cable TV provider, but have no DVR functionality configured for it.

So, am I a pirate? Or a terrorist?

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Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

Ralph B
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I'm lovin' it

S'funny, innit, McDonald's slips a mouse tail in a burger and all hell breaks loose but these guys stick bits of whale-bollock in their beer and we're all celebrating.

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Tor pedo torpedoed: Ex-US cybersecurity guru jailed for 25 years in abuse pics sting

Ralph B
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Bad to Worse

> He also said that his time in jail had allowed him to read the Bible

Well, that proves it, the man is clearly an incorrigible recidivist.

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Microsoft fires legal salvo at phone 'tech support' scammers

Ralph B
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Microsoft are bound to know ...

> Microsoft says it has received 65,000 calls complaining about the scam

If they just waited for another 535 complaints to come in, they'd probably find the problem has got a lot better, all by itself.

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NY premiere of The Interview cancelled after hackers' terrorist threats

Ralph B
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Re: Actually...

> I think the studio that made the film win this one

I thought the same. But if the film also gets cancelled from theatrical release, then it'll be a big loss for the studio. (Unless they have insurance for that sort of thing ... ? (It's been a while since I watched The Producers.))

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Sony Pictures hit by 'fightback on filesharers' DDoS claims – report

Ralph B
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Sony's DDoS Resources

If Sony were to add DDoS launching code to all the PlayStations in the world, in the next software upgrade, that'd make a sizeable botnet resource, don't you think?

I'm sure they haven't done such a thing, but it's gotta be a temptation, eh?

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

Ralph B
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Re: Sheep puns?

Hope it's got good baaandwidth.

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The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three

Ralph B
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Small Correction

"Little Britain" was originally on Radio 4.

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Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Ralph B
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Re: Money speaks, as usual

> The only thing that article doesn't cover is charging

They seem to be on a morally/legally dangerous path. First they develop a tool that promises to block ads; then they try to collect money from advertisers to nevertheless let the ads through; next they will try to collect money from users for really blocking the ads they initially promised to; then they'll try to collect yet more money from advertisers to really let through the ads they've already paid to be let through ... and so on.

Eventually, I expect, the lawyers will do rather well out of it, but everyone else with lose out.

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Yotaphone 2: The two-faced pocket-stroker with '100 hours' batt life

Ralph B
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Re: E-ink displays

> Media InkPhone

Having now seen a review of the Midia InkPhone I'm quite glad I didn't get to buy one.

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Ralph B
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Re: E-ink displays

> Quite a good idea for a phone, for those of us who would be happy with black and white of course.

I'd be very happy with an eInk-only phone too. Unfortunately, I only know of one of these - the Midia InkPhone - and they seem to have sold out of however few they made of them.

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Ralph B
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Re: sailfish....

> Would be nice to sailfish on it, since Jolla already has the other half for E-ink....

What do you know that Jolla aren't saying? The Other Half appears to be merely a theme-change on the LED display based on the colour of the back that has been mounted. Nothing about e-ink.

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Knockoff knockdown: Euro cops shutter 300 'counterfeit' domains

Ralph B
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Has anyone checked ... ?

Has anyone checked if the Amazon and eBay websites are still there?

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Blade Runner sequel might actually be good. Harrison Ford is in it

Ralph B
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Re: weighing the options...

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep was written by Philip K Dick. The Bladerunner follow-ups were not, and therefore are to be taken no more seriously than any other fan-fiction.

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Ralph B
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How Possible?

If Deckard and Rachel were both replicants then they shouldn't have survived more than the 3-or-so years that Tyrell's design allowed. So, how could something as crusty as Ford possibly still be around. (It would be ungentlemanly to speculate on Ms.Young's current appearance.)

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Forget Hillary, HP's ex CARLY FIORINA 'wants to be next US Prez'

Ralph B
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Cool

Expect to see the USA merge with China and have the combination shrink to the size of Germany.

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Right to be forgotten should apply to Google.com too: EU

Ralph B
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Waiting for the day

I'm waiting for the day when someone manages to sneak the Article 29 equivalent of "rm -rf /" passed Google.

Do you suppose Google does backups of their indexes? Or would they just crawl it all again?

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Nokia's N1 fondleslab's HIDDEN BRILLIANCE: The 'Z Launcher'

Ralph B
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Some People

I imagine that some people aren't going to be so happy to have their porn app appearing automatically on the home page, rather than staying wherever it was they hid it.

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We come bearing internet: Google sends up Project Loon balloons in second test

Ralph B
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Astronomers! Wake Up!

If they thought light pollution and current electromagnetic interence was bad, how's it going to be when there are few thousand (or million?)* of these Google Loon balloons floating around, blocking the light, radioing to each other and the ground users & basestations. I predict that astronomers will mightily annoyed when they take their eyes off their viewfinders and finally notice.

(Maybe we'll have to just give up Astronomy, when the Loon Cloud renders the rest of the Universe invisible to us.)

* Has anyone actually calculated how many balloons Google will need for the final, working system?

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Japanese boffins build rounders-playing ROBOT SCHOOLGIRL

Ralph B
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It's only a matter of time ...

... before all your base are belong to us.

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FIRST for HUMANITY: Fridge-size PROBOT headed for COMET TOUCHDOWN

Ralph B
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Comet-Seeding

If it possible that life here was seeded from comets, may we ponder from where this proto-DNA might have come? Might it be that some other civilisation, remote in space and time, faced with the impracticalities/impossibilities of sending actual living bodies on such a journey, decided to send just amino acids?

If not, are there any grounds to think that the natural formation of such building-blocks of life is more likely to have occurred elsewhere than hereabouts, cosmically speaking. (I guess so, since there is vastly more of everything elsewhere than there is hereabouts, cosmically speaking.)

Do we know if this particular comet originated from the Kuiper Belt or the Oort Cloud? (And don't these both count as fairly local, cosmically speaking?)

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The Pirate Bay co-founder exits jail, now, er, free to eat vegan food

Ralph B
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Copyright

> he has long been interested in promoting his anti-copyright agenda.

I look forward to reading (a stolen copy of) his autobiography one day.

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How Hollywood film-makers wove proper physics into Interstellar

Ralph B
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Re: 3hrs in IMAX?

Thanks for the downvotes for saying it might be expensive to see this movie in an IMAX cinema. Even though it will be.

My "local" IMAX charges between £12 and £14 for the 20 minute films. There's no sign of Interstellar appearing there any time soon, which may be because they don't want to lose the 9x£14=£126 they could be earning in the same time (OK, more realistically 6x£14=£84, allowing for audience swaps), or because have no chance of charging that much for screening Interstellar.

So, downvoters, I'm not knocking the IMAX experience, just pointing out the mathematical / economic facts involved in screening a 3hr movie in an IMAX cinema.

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Ralph B
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3hrs in IMAX?

A 3 hour movie in an IMAX? I can't imagine the ticket price for that, considering the price they charge for the standard 20 minute IMAX film. (Well, I can imagine 9x the price, but I can't imagine many being willing or able to afford it.)

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Pop starlet Taylor Swift DUMPS Spotify: It’s not me, it’s you

Ralph B
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Seems Reasonable

> An artist may make between 70p and £1.20 from the sale of a digital album on iTunes or Amazon, but only fractions of a cent from each play on a streaming service.

So, if the artist thinks their music will get selected for streaming time and time again, then they should probably use Spotify. But if they think their music will get played one time only then they should probably stick with iTunes and Amazon.

Taylor Swift would appear to share my opinion of her music.

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Pixel mania: Apple 27-inch iMac with 5K Retina display

Ralph B
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Re: Looks like a lovely machine....

The computer you really want always costs $2500.

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Lenovo completes Motorola purchase for $2.9bn – $10bn less than Google paid for it

Ralph B
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Re: In my dreams

> Moto +Lenovo = Melon

Or Lenovo + Moto = Lemon.

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