* Posts by Long John Brass

286 posts • joined 12 Apr 2007

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The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey

Long John Brass

Re: "Maketh My Teeth Hurt Just Reading This"

Gesundheit

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Label your cables: A cautionary tale from the server room

Long John Brass

RE: Label your cables: A cautionary tale from the server room

Bwhahaha....

I only laugh because I too have been there

Remember years ago after been asked to diagnose a twitchy Solaris machine + software; System was running some mission critical financial app, so I thought to myself, Hey I have an bradn spanking new identical machine sitting right next to it that wasn't in use just yet (and wouldn't even get an install for another week), I will restore the back to THAT machine and start poking around to see why ${mission_critical_server} was having the odd bad hair day...

Nearly had a heart attach when during a reboot of the new "test" machine I saw the host name of said mission critical server fly past on the serial console.... A kind of "Oh shit which machine did I actually reboot? moment" Lucky for me it was the test machine, but still nearly shat myself :)

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Can ad biz’s LEAN avert ADPOCALYPSE?

Long John Brass
Paris Hilton

Re: Advertorials, etc

It haz wut plants crave

because electrolytes

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Love it or hate it, it's time for that Software Power Meeting again

Long John Brass

"It’s not like these fast-moving DevOps people are just shipping shitting code gleefully, they’re testing and reviewing at almost a nauseating level for old timers who enjoyed throwing the testing tasks over the wall to QA."

There fixed that for you

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You can always rely on the Ancient Ones to cock things up

Long John Brass
Devil

Blood Sacrifice

Back on the day when building PCs for myself or for $company

I found that the razor sharp, nay these things put cut throat razors to shame

would exact a not insignificant amount of blood as payment; these machines would always work fine. On the odd occasion where tired from the blood loss and looking like I'd lost a fight with a possessed helicopter made of razor wire, those machines would always have issues until the appropriate blood sacrifice was made.

The old gods always require payment and will not be satisfied until the bill is settled

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Router hackers reach for the fork: LEDE splits from OpenWRT

Long John Brass
Linux

Re: What we really need

You mean something like this

http://routerboard.com/products/group/11

or maybe this?

https://www.element14.com/community/community/dreamboard

I agree with you wish for an ADSL chipset OSS systems can talk to, maybe a USB modem of some sort?

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Google found 760,935 compromised web sites in a year

Long John Brass
Mushroom

Re: 760,935 breaches Google detected

Yes, that is because a windows box requires an admin 24/7 to keep rebooting it every time it hangs or crashes. A *nix box on the other hand will run for years without intervention and thus get lost and forgotten in the noise of day to day work.

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NZ Pastafarians joined in noodly wedlock

Long John Brass

Re: Please be careful how you mock.

> And I don't see anyone burning people alive in the name of Pastafarianism

Quite right we boil em, with a dash of salt.

Having said that, I myself am a Discordian Ninja.

All hail *ERIS*

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Neighbour sick of you parking in his driveway? You'd better hack-proof your car

Long John Brass
Coat

So what you're telling me is ...

That I now need an Anti Virus and Intrusion Detection System for my car

And how will the updates be delivered?

Ahhh from the Authorised dealers only, should have known

*sobs*

Kinda lost for words now ... The will to live failing ... The *rage* building ...

<coat> Mines the one with the tickets off this damned rock in it </coat>

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George Bush naked selfie hacker Guccifer gets his day in US court

Long John Brass
WTF?

"No matter where they are in the world, those who commit crimes against U.S. citizens will be held accountable for their actions, pursued by our investigators and prosecutors and brought to justice."

Meanwhile US "citizens" can do whatever the fuck they like as long as its not in the USofA cus it's not our jurisdiction.

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

Long John Brass
Mushroom

This from a country...

That makes it illegal to cross a road unless at appropriately marked areas with signs, lights and painted sections of tarmac , cus people can't be trusted to look both ways.

But firearms of all kinds? Yeah , no worries.

These people have nukes...

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NASA discovers black hole here on Earth – in its software budget

Long John Brass

I'll do it myself for $100 million

Just make the cheque out to cash

Only half joking, for that sort of cash I'm sure I could build up a team, then do the bloody thing from scratch.

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Cunning scam: Mobe app stalks victims then emails booby-trapped bogus speeding tickets

Long John Brass
Terminator

Nice to see

That someone on the internet has an actual business model

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Linus Torvalds wavers, pauses … then gives the world Linux 4.5

Long John Brass

Re: Steady as she goes

Yup - The latest rev of KDE makes me very very sad

Looking for a non-gnome replacement, but ...

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Obama puts down his encrypted phone long enough to tell us: Knock it off with the encryption

Long John Brass
Devil

Here's a thought...

Given how devout the US Clergy Politicians present themselves to be

If you need to decipher something ask ${deity} for the key, If ${deity} gives you the correct key the person was ${evil} if not they're innocent

Simples

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Behold, Microsoft SQL Server on Linux – and a firm screw-you to Oracle

Long John Brass
Headmaster

DB2 for the win?

Damnit, where did I put those FoxPro diskettes

Powerbuilder maybe?

<Icon=oldFart>

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GCHQ: Crypto's great, we're your mate, don't be like that and hate

Long John Brass

Re: Goodwill GCHQ ?

Goodwill?

<voice=blade_runner_narrator>

The various government organs have burned through whatever little goodwill they had left

Overreaching councils snooping on your bins or police "just checking up" on neighbours, ex wives/husbands. Security agencies drag-netting all cell & internet comms (but its ok cuz it only meta data)

All because the ${badGuys} and ${boogyMen} will get us.... Won't somebody think of the ${emotionalHotButton}

</voice>

Mines the one with the meds in the pocket

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Microsoft joins Eclipse Foundation. Odd thing for a competitor to do

Long John Brass

Re: Oh. Woo. Yay.

I'm old enough to remember when IBM was the evil monster that all and sundry went out to slay.

MS in those days were the plucky upstart, my how things have changed.

And will again no doubt.

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Blah Blah blah ... I don't care! To hell with your tech marketing bull

Long John Brass

Re: @Long John Brass - I can haz electrolytes

> Only after you manage to get the rest of the operations team fired.

Out of a cannon? Or will a stint in the tape safe do?

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Long John Brass

I can haz electrolytes

Because DevOps

So If I read that right, If I implement Puppet/SaltStack/etc a dash of source control to manage my infrastructure, then I'm a DevOps not a SysAdmin any more?

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Microsoft has made SQL Server for Linux. Repeat, Microsoft has made SQL Server 2016 for Linux

Long John Brass

> they tend to come from someone trying to run a big DB on inappropriate hardware

With sufficient thrust pigs fly just fine

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Mountains of madness found on Pluto's Cthulhu Regio

Long John Brass
Thumb Up

This pleases me more than I would like to admit

“a mountain range located in southeast Cthulhu that’s 260 miles (420 kilometres) long.”

South-east Cthulu?! This is a place!?

Just too awesome for words

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Raspberry Pi celebrates fourth birthday with fruity version 3

Long John Brass

Re: Whichever way you slice it

@Someone_Somewhere

> there isn't enough RAM to do anything sensible with it

Oh I don't know, I have one Model2 running the SimpleMetal printer via OctoPrint and an old 256MB modelB running SimH which runs RSTS, RSX11, rt11 and VaxVMS

That is 3 PDP/11's and a VAX off one old ras-pi

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Long John Brass
Joke

Re: programmable means i can use itself to program it

@BurnT'offering

> So I can't interest you in some fresh punch cards?

Why yes, that would be marvellous!

I'll take two decks please

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Your xenophobia is killing us, Silicon Valley warns US Congress

Long John Brass

It's a brave new world...

We've always been at war with Eurasia Eastasia

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European Space Agency lights up new Australian antenna

Long John Brass

Re: New Norcia

I thought it was where you found norcs... The nice ones at any rate :)

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TTIP: A locked room, no internet access, two hours, 300 pages and lots of typos

Long John Brass
Black Helicopters

Welcome

Welcome EUisians to the the hell that the APACians are living in.

One day Corporatism will be mentioned in the same section of the dictionary as Fascism, Communism etc under the section that reads "Turns out THAT was a bad idea" or "-Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself."

But until then I for one welcome our new corporate overlords... Oh hell who am I kidding.

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Private clouds kinda suck, you know?

Long John Brass

Re: Also Confused

> So what's a private cloud then? Someone else's computer that you own?

Yes, exactly

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Long John Brass

Re: Also Confused

> Perhaps a definition of "Cloud" might be useful?

Cloud = someone else's computer

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Australian astroboffins reveal hundreds of hidden galaxies

Long John Brass

Check my math

So that means we are travelling towards this thing at %18.5 the speed of light?

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Puppet CEO: No hype in DevOps... except for the overhyped bits

Long John Brass

Re: Containers are great...

They are good for smaller environments too

The ability to spin up a server that looks & plays the same, first time every time is not to be underestimated

And the amount of work is not that evil either; A bit of a learning curve, but not too painful

Start with the easiest, parts, prove it to yourself, then start adding bits until you can burn down the OS and spin up a new one with having to manually twiddle bits to make it work.

That is the thing about decent config management there is not THAT much difference between an estate that has ~20 machines, ~200 machines or ~2000 machines

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Let's play immutable infrastructure! A game where 'crash and burn' works both ways

Long John Brass

Happy middle ground

Use Salt/Puppet/etc to build and manage your OS image.

This includes patching, logging should be to central loghost anyway

If the host become badly borked due to a cockup or intrusion; burn it down & get the config management to rebuilt it for you.

I would advocate for burning down & rebuilding dev/test/qa systems on a semi-regular basis

Helps keep the cruft levels down

simples

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Brit boffins get green light to edit human genome

Long John Brass

Ethics

People should have the choice to employ this tech for themselves or their children

Corporations and Governments should not under any circumstances get to have a say

Yes some Muppets will engineer an elf lord, but it's better than worker done #12-345-678

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Safe Harbor ripped and replaced with Privacy Shield in last-minute US-Europe deal

Long John Brass

no taxation without representation

The rest of the world now demands a vote.

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How to build a starship - and why we should start thinking about it now

Long John Brass

Re: Coms

MechJeb could do it

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Whew! How to tell if a DevOps biz is peddling a load of manure

Long John Brass

washed up bunch of sysadmins and DBAs

> A washed up bunch of sysadmins and DBAs who thinks they know how the finer points of operations should work in the 21st Century

And that's the attitude most Devs seem to have of OPs teams. Fine by me, give em root & put em on call

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'Unikernels will send us back to the DOS era' – DTrace guru Bryan Cantrill speaks out

Long John Brass
Flame

total lack of operational empathy

Welcome to DevOps

Put the little fuckers on call.

<rant>

These retards are saying, get these heavy bloated OS syscalls out of our way!; They slow us down!

Really? You create 100k objects templates & each has its own constructor/destructor baked in that does sweet fuck all except chew processor time, and they have the gall to moan about the ring transition time/context switch, the solution? Moar garbage collection, and get rid of the OS, No ... just no.

My code is slow, blame the database, blame the OS, blame the network, blame the OPS guys, blame the sysadmins. any ones fault but my own....

Fuckemall; put them on call and let them deal with the angry screaming hordes.

</rant>

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Terrible infections, bad practices, unclean kit – welcome to hospital IT

Long John Brass

> The password change idea was idiotic. It deserved an even more cynical response than it got. The blind arrogance was the IT peeps in that one

Very much doubt it was the IT people; Sound like something an auditor told em to do. I've had similar fights with brain dead auditors in the past; Some I won, most I lost :(

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Data centers dig in as monster storm strikes America's East Coast

Long John Brass

Re: Travelling advice (RAC "be prepared" list)

> ....snow shovel. He had no snow shovel. Good job I had one then.

Every time I get pulled over, the police get very excitable if they find a shovel in the boot of my car

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Long John Brass

Re: Nagging worries...

> when the fuck did I get a wife?

This is not my beautiful wife; This is not my beautiful life

And I think it works like this....

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/inertia-selling

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The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

Long John Brass

Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

Eat recycled food; It's good for the environment and it's OK for you

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Watch: SpaceX Dragon capsule breathes fire during crucial hover test

Long John Brass

Take me to your leader

If they don't have landing legs that go whirr, whirr, whirr; clunk when the thing lands I'll be very disappointed. extra style points if the "door" opens and an integrated ramp rolls out.

That's some serious Flash Gordon shit right there! The future is here and it's very shiny!

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Docker bags unikernel gurus – now you can be just like Linus Torvalds

Long John Brass

Round and round we go

> the developer will never have to understand all the details of technology

Yes because every time we've done that software and systems our modern world relies on have always become that much better, faster & more reliable

As has been mentioned up-thread; Hypervisor, microkernel and now unikernel;

So we deploy a cut down OS(hyper micro uni kernel and run the applications stacks in separate cut down application environments, unit we need to share some stuff between em, because they share components & it seems a waste of resources to deploy it twice, so we need some tools to allow two application environment to interact; Lets call this APC, we can use some shared memory.

But then we need some security controls to mediate between the two application environment to make sure one doesn't do bad thins to another; Oh and some shared disk would be nice to ....

And he-presto were back to a full fat OS.

That said, cutting some of the fat from modern OS kernels wouldn't be a bad thing.

But first I'd like to see Linux drivers moved out of ring-0; that would be a nice start. I'm not saying going full on micro kernel, but I'd like to at least get the USB & Video crap out of the ring-0 kernel

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Long John Brass

Re: nostalgia

> When's COBOL due to be re-invented?

To late; It's called Java

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Bigger than Safe Harbor: Microsoft prez vows to take down US gov in data protection lawsuit

Long John Brass

Have I got a deal for you!

Safe data & compute hosting; Not a USofA company, Not hosted in a USofA contaminated datacentre; Apply now for a low low price, you won't believe just how cheap this deal is.

subject to terms and conditions

first come first server

limited time offer

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Dialog box shut: Now Microchip is set to gobble up Atmel

Long John Brass

So the bastard offspring of this merger will be?

The AVR ARM_PIT^hC

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Nest thermostat owners out in the cold after software update cockup

Long John Brass
Flame

DevOps for the win

Need I say more?

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Improve, automate, rinse and repeat: All aboard the starship DevOps

Long John Brass
Mushroom

Bah humbug

The reason companies get into the whole ITIL shenanigans is that the Dev teams have been lobbing hot steaming piles of shit over the wall to OPS; This ends up with the ops and sys admin people being labelled as stick in the mud/slow to respond/no fun killljoys when they try to manage the unholy tide of excrement rolling over the battlements.

Problem is when you've been called out at 3am for the third night in a row because some muppet didn't bother check to see if an given input file did/didn't exist before trying to open it; thoughts turn somewhat murderous.

DevOps is in my opinion a great idea, Automated system build/config management (Salt/Puppet/whatever), a good wiki , continuous build, testing & integration ... all fantastic BUT the one thing I think should be added to DevOps? Devs should be on call with the rest of us. I've noticed that the quality of their testing & release tooling + the code they deliver gets much much better when they are also on the hook for the 3am bloody call outs

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It's replicant Roy Batty's birthday – but hey, where's my killer robot?

Long John Brass

Re: Your arsehole sthn. hemisphere 'moderators'

@Ian 55

> I write mine in crayon.

The purple ones taste best

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Software engineer sobers up to deal with 2:00 AM trouble at mill

Long John Brass

Server room snooze

Once upon a time, when I were a young lad and dinosaurs ruled the earth

Was the on-call to baby site the two accounting systems run by the $company

The final job of the night was to reconcile these two systems if that failed all was lost; So then you had to figure out what went wrong where, and either fix the import data or fix the code, there was just enough time to re-run the entire batch if the problem was early in the processing. So more often than not I would sort the problem & kip behind the two prod mini-computers at the back of the hall as it was nice & toasty warm there...

One night after curling up behind the machines; I awoke to find myself moving; my head bumping over the ridges in the raised floor tiles; A closer inspection of the situation informed me that the night operator had grabbed me by the feet and was busily dragging me out of the machine room. When I asked what the bloody hell he was up to he nearly hit the roof... Apparently he had thought I had managed to electrocute myself and had fallen behind the two big prod machines (He had just seen my feet sticking out into the main isle and had panicked)

Thank god I woke up before he got started with the CPR :)

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