* Posts by Long John Brass

260 posts • joined 12 Apr 2007

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TTIP: A locked room, no internet access, two hours, 300 pages and lots of typos

Long John Brass
Black Helicopters

Welcome

Welcome EUisians to the the hell that the APACians are living in.

One day Corporatism will be mentioned in the same section of the dictionary as Fascism, Communism etc under the section that reads "Turns out THAT was a bad idea" or "-Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself."

But until then I for one welcome our new corporate overlords... Oh hell who am I kidding.

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Private clouds kinda suck, you know?

Long John Brass

Re: Also Confused

> So what's a private cloud then? Someone else's computer that you own?

Yes, exactly

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Long John Brass

Re: Also Confused

> Perhaps a definition of "Cloud" might be useful?

Cloud = someone else's computer

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Australian astroboffins reveal hundreds of hidden galaxies

Long John Brass

Check my math

So that means we are travelling towards this thing at %18.5 the speed of light?

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Puppet CEO: No hype in DevOps... except for the overhyped bits

Long John Brass

Re: Containers are great...

They are good for smaller environments too

The ability to spin up a server that looks & plays the same, first time every time is not to be underestimated

And the amount of work is not that evil either; A bit of a learning curve, but not too painful

Start with the easiest, parts, prove it to yourself, then start adding bits until you can burn down the OS and spin up a new one with having to manually twiddle bits to make it work.

That is the thing about decent config management there is not THAT much difference between an estate that has ~20 machines, ~200 machines or ~2000 machines

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Let's play immutable infrastructure! A game where 'crash and burn' works both ways

Long John Brass

Happy middle ground

Use Salt/Puppet/etc to build and manage your OS image.

This includes patching, logging should be to central loghost anyway

If the host become badly borked due to a cockup or intrusion; burn it down & get the config management to rebuilt it for you.

I would advocate for burning down & rebuilding dev/test/qa systems on a semi-regular basis

Helps keep the cruft levels down

simples

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Brit boffins get green light to edit human genome

Long John Brass

Ethics

People should have the choice to employ this tech for themselves or their children

Corporations and Governments should not under any circumstances get to have a say

Yes some Muppets will engineer an elf lord, but it's better than worker done #12-345-678

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Safe Harbor ripped and replaced with Privacy Shield in last-minute US-Europe deal

Long John Brass

no taxation without representation

The rest of the world now demands a vote.

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How to build a starship - and why we should start thinking about it now

Long John Brass

Re: Coms

MechJeb could do it

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Whew! How to tell if a DevOps biz is peddling a load of manure

Long John Brass

washed up bunch of sysadmins and DBAs

> A washed up bunch of sysadmins and DBAs who thinks they know how the finer points of operations should work in the 21st Century

And that's the attitude most Devs seem to have of OPs teams. Fine by me, give em root & put em on call

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'Unikernels will send us back to the DOS era' – DTrace guru Bryan Cantrill speaks out

Long John Brass
Flame

total lack of operational empathy

Welcome to DevOps

Put the little fuckers on call.

<rant>

These retards are saying, get these heavy bloated OS syscalls out of our way!; They slow us down!

Really? You create 100k objects templates & each has its own constructor/destructor baked in that does sweet fuck all except chew processor time, and they have the gall to moan about the ring transition time/context switch, the solution? Moar garbage collection, and get rid of the OS, No ... just no.

My code is slow, blame the database, blame the OS, blame the network, blame the OPS guys, blame the sysadmins. any ones fault but my own....

Fuckemall; put them on call and let them deal with the angry screaming hordes.

</rant>

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Terrible infections, bad practices, unclean kit – welcome to hospital IT

Long John Brass

> The password change idea was idiotic. It deserved an even more cynical response than it got. The blind arrogance was the IT peeps in that one

Very much doubt it was the IT people; Sound like something an auditor told em to do. I've had similar fights with brain dead auditors in the past; Some I won, most I lost :(

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Data centers dig in as monster storm strikes America's East Coast

Long John Brass

Re: Travelling advice (RAC "be prepared" list)

> ....snow shovel. He had no snow shovel. Good job I had one then.

Every time I get pulled over, the police get very excitable if they find a shovel in the boot of my car

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Long John Brass

Re: Nagging worries...

> when the fuck did I get a wife?

This is not my beautiful wife; This is not my beautiful life

And I think it works like this....

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/inertia-selling

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The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

Long John Brass

Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

Eat recycled food; It's good for the environment and it's OK for you

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Watch: SpaceX Dragon capsule breathes fire during crucial hover test

Long John Brass

Take me to your leader

If they don't have landing legs that go whirr, whirr, whirr; clunk when the thing lands I'll be very disappointed. extra style points if the "door" opens and an integrated ramp rolls out.

That's some serious Flash Gordon shit right there! The future is here and it's very shiny!

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Docker bags unikernel gurus – now you can be just like Linus Torvalds

Long John Brass

Round and round we go

> the developer will never have to understand all the details of technology

Yes because every time we've done that software and systems our modern world relies on have always become that much better, faster & more reliable

As has been mentioned up-thread; Hypervisor, microkernel and now unikernel;

So we deploy a cut down OS(hyper micro uni kernel and run the applications stacks in separate cut down application environments, unit we need to share some stuff between em, because they share components & it seems a waste of resources to deploy it twice, so we need some tools to allow two application environment to interact; Lets call this APC, we can use some shared memory.

But then we need some security controls to mediate between the two application environment to make sure one doesn't do bad thins to another; Oh and some shared disk would be nice to ....

And he-presto were back to a full fat OS.

That said, cutting some of the fat from modern OS kernels wouldn't be a bad thing.

But first I'd like to see Linux drivers moved out of ring-0; that would be a nice start. I'm not saying going full on micro kernel, but I'd like to at least get the USB & Video crap out of the ring-0 kernel

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Long John Brass

Re: nostalgia

> When's COBOL due to be re-invented?

To late; It's called Java

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Bigger than Safe Harbor: Microsoft prez vows to take down US gov in data protection lawsuit

Long John Brass

Have I got a deal for you!

Safe data & compute hosting; Not a USofA company, Not hosted in a USofA contaminated datacentre; Apply now for a low low price, you won't believe just how cheap this deal is.

subject to terms and conditions

first come first server

limited time offer

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Dialog box shut: Now Microchip is set to gobble up Atmel

Long John Brass

So the bastard offspring of this merger will be?

The AVR ARM_PIT^hC

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Nest thermostat owners out in the cold after software update cockup

Long John Brass
Flame

DevOps for the win

Need I say more?

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Improve, automate, rinse and repeat: All aboard the starship DevOps

Long John Brass
Mushroom

Bah humbug

The reason companies get into the whole ITIL shenanigans is that the Dev teams have been lobbing hot steaming piles of shit over the wall to OPS; This ends up with the ops and sys admin people being labelled as stick in the mud/slow to respond/no fun killljoys when they try to manage the unholy tide of excrement rolling over the battlements.

Problem is when you've been called out at 3am for the third night in a row because some muppet didn't bother check to see if an given input file did/didn't exist before trying to open it; thoughts turn somewhat murderous.

DevOps is in my opinion a great idea, Automated system build/config management (Salt/Puppet/whatever), a good wiki , continuous build, testing & integration ... all fantastic BUT the one thing I think should be added to DevOps? Devs should be on call with the rest of us. I've noticed that the quality of their testing & release tooling + the code they deliver gets much much better when they are also on the hook for the 3am bloody call outs

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It's replicant Roy Batty's birthday – but hey, where's my killer robot?

Long John Brass

Re: Your arsehole sthn. hemisphere 'moderators'

@Ian 55

> I write mine in crayon.

The purple ones taste best

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Software engineer sobers up to deal with 2:00 AM trouble at mill

Long John Brass

Server room snooze

Once upon a time, when I were a young lad and dinosaurs ruled the earth

Was the on-call to baby site the two accounting systems run by the $company

The final job of the night was to reconcile these two systems if that failed all was lost; So then you had to figure out what went wrong where, and either fix the import data or fix the code, there was just enough time to re-run the entire batch if the problem was early in the processing. So more often than not I would sort the problem & kip behind the two prod mini-computers at the back of the hall as it was nice & toasty warm there...

One night after curling up behind the machines; I awoke to find myself moving; my head bumping over the ridges in the raised floor tiles; A closer inspection of the situation informed me that the night operator had grabbed me by the feet and was busily dragging me out of the machine room. When I asked what the bloody hell he was up to he nearly hit the roof... Apparently he had thought I had managed to electrocute myself and had fallen behind the two big prod machines (He had just seen my feet sticking out into the main isle and had panicked)

Thank god I woke up before he got started with the CPR :)

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Philips backs down over firmware that adds DRM to light

Long John Brass
FAIL

Makes me sad

Philips was the last of the big manufacturers I had any faith in. They build or used to build solid reliable mid-range gear ... Looks like they've gone down the same shit hole as everyone else.

*sigh*

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Bringing discipline to development, without causing pain

Long John Brass

I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

If you have mass you can't travel at the speed of light

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Samsung Gear VR is good. So good 2016 could be year virtual reality finally makes it

Long John Brass
Thumb Up

Re: Film makers?

It will take a while for the content creators to figure out how to effectively tell a story within VR

https://www.youtube.com/user/oculusvr/videos

I think the shaky found footage or Michael Bay's frenetic camera styles will disappear as that will just make people puke

Once they figure out how to direct a viewers attention in the right way at the right time the chunder factor should go down somewhat. Remember that this is still early days. Many things still need to be figured out. Reminds me of the early heady days of the home PC boom.

As a 3d-tv naysayer and hater; GearVR for me at least has been an absolute blast; I wouldn't spend money on a new phone for just that, but if you are in the market for an upgrade anyway its well worth a look

I'm definitely going to be scoring a full blown OculusRift and/or Steam Vive in the new year, and I can't wait to see what the 2nd and 3rd generation of this tech will bring.

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Official: North America COMPLETELY OUT of new IPv4 addresses

Long John Brass
Mushroom

The good oil

How long before ...

The usains attack somebody for their IPv4 subnet?

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Let's NUKE MARS to make it more like home says Elon Musk

Long John Brass

Big frikking mirrors

Would be easier to build & less likely to launch the stuff you want for an atmosphere into space

But as was mentioned in an earlier comment, if you started a big space rock(tm) spinning, and heated it with the aforementioned mirror to the point where it was a liquid, you could then carefully inflate it into a rock balloon which when cooled make a nice place to live.

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The insidious danger of the lone wolf control freak sysadmin

Long John Brass

Re: Did the PFY own a bus?

> Or for curious invoices for large quantities of quicklime

Pro tip: Lime preserves, quicklime dissolves, it pays to make sure you have the right tool for the right job

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Make Adama proud: Connect your Things wisely, cadet

Long John Brass

> VLN has gotten up to 200Gbps

> It will also be pretty much useless outside of that room

Wasn't there a hack against various bits of networking kit that has LEDs connected directly to the TX/RX lines. If I remember correctly "attackers" were able to pull data from another building via a telescope & some electronic trickery.

Anyone who tells you; Oh no don't worry, it's very short range should be treated with snide derision.

Hint Telescopes and Antennas are effectively the same thing

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Lies, damn lies and election polls: Why GE2015 pundits fluffed the numbers so badly

Long John Brass

Re: "shy tory"

But wait! There's more!

For $9.99 you can get your very own call blocker

Call now on 0800 fck you for details

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Plod wants your PC? Brick it with a USB stick BEFORE they probe it

Long John Brass

would it not be better to...

Splat a clean file system image over the top of the partition? That way you can say, encrypted data? What encrypted data?

All that random data? No that's just a very old install that I blew away ages ago

Or better yet ... Nope; it's just a swap vol

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Singapore's prime minister releases source code for his hand-coded Sudoku-solver

Long John Brass

Deep work

Jon Blow did a talk about deep work & how it changes the way you think

It's probably a good thing if more politicians do this kind of thing ... makes em smarter

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo7cTlaVJdQ

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C++ Daddy Bjarne Stroustrup outlines directions for v17

Long John Brass

Re: C++

> Bjarne had aspirations of academia (or maybe even politics), whereas K&R just wanted to get things done

And therein lays the rub

C is a language built by engineers for engineers; to get things done

C++ is a langues designed by comp sci profs, for comp sci students; to appeal to an ideology

You know who I mean ... Dijkstra and the reset of the evil language elves.

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Welcome, stranger: Inside Microsoft's command line shell

Long John Brass

QEMM and Quarterdeck

Those are names that bring back somewhat fond memories :)

And the Borland C compiler

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KABOOM! Billionaire fingers dud valve in ROCKET WIBBLE PRANG BLAST

Long John Brass

Dumb question

Why not set up some exhaust ports off the main engine feed at say 45deg from the centre line

That way you could get better throttling of the main engine by opening up the off axis "engine ports"

You would be able to get some steering from them as well

Any rocket surgeons care to comment?

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Radio 4 and Dr K on programming languages: Full of Java Kool-Aid

Long John Brass

Re: "soi-disant"?

> Who does the Register want? Bjarne Stroustrup?

Hell NO! That man should never be allowed anywhere a compiler again!

C++ is a crawling horror. It's C that has had to put the lotion on its skin. Java is the bastard son of C and COBOL.

The lat true hope humanity has is JAI; when / if Jon every get to releasing a version we can play with

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Help! We need to pick a platform for our desert adventure

Long John Brass

XenCenter may be a viable equivalent for ESXi

VyOS is a handy dandy router distro with a built in squid proxy, dunno if it offers content manglement

Another option may be to run FreeNAS which can run Linux VM's in a jail

the Tested guys have a quick run down here http://www.tested.com/tech/500455-building-home-server-using-freenas/

http://doc.freenas.org/9.3/freenas_jails.html

Jails may be a better option given that they are lighter weight than either Xen, vmWare or VirtualBox

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Your home automation things are a security nightmare

Long John Brass

Who didn't see that one coming

Really who DIDN'T see it coming ?

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Cross-dressing blokes storm NSA HQ: One shot dead, one hurt

Long John Brass

Blaming it on the SatNav in ... 3, 2, 1

Drugs, guns & cross dressing .... musta been one hellova party :)

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Mature mainframe madness prints Mandlebrot fractal in TWELVE MINUTES

Long John Brass
Coffee/keyboard

I remember a time ...

When as a PFY, I was handed a bottle of iso-prop, a toothbrush & a jewellers screwdriver to clean a second hand DEC drum printer we had acquired second hand.

My job was to use said toothbrush, jewellers screwdriver & iso-prop to clean the decade old remnants of printer ribbon & paper dust that had caked up the print drum to the point where it only printed letter-ish smudges.

I emerged many hours later from the computer hall looking very much like a giant smurf; but the printer was sparkly clean & worked a treat :)

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OpenSSL preps fix for mystery high severity hole

Long John Brass

Welcome to software written in C

<grumpy old man mode>

Bah! You can build bugs into software in any language. go back to logo and turtle graphics if you can't handle a real language. And get the hell off my lawn

</grumpy old man mode>

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AMD, ARM, Imagination, Samsung alliance publish official shared GPU-CPU blueprints

Long John Brass

Fortran!

Is that still a thing?

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Musk: 'Tesla's electric Model S cars will be less crap soon. I PROMISE'

Long John Brass

Re: Hypnotism

<Calm computer voice>

Your avalable music choices are

1 - Killed by death (Motorhead)

2 - Don't fear the reaper (Blue Öyster Cult)

</Calm computer voice>

<Passengers>

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

</Passengers>

<Calm computer voice>

Playing .... crazy frog

</Calm computer voice>

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'Roly poly' soft, wobbly robot BANGS EXPLOSIVELY, leaps 0.5m in air

Long John Brass

Re: Cat Scarer

I'm building an ed209 in my garden shed for the same reason.

For some reason the local authorities got a little twitchy when I tried to import the twin .50 cal. Cobra cannons I need get the weapons systems online.

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Is there a cure for cancer sitting at the back of the medicine cabinet already?

Long John Brass

How about

A kickstarter ?

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Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor

Long John Brass

Re: Bah ... philistines

Stove top can make a good cup of coffee; IF you don't run it too hot.

Many espresso machines run the water temp too high & scald the grounds

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Long John Brass

Bah ... philistines

Bodem (French press) is the only way to go.

Percolated or "drip" coffee is ghastly; only allowed if the alternative is instant.

Fastest way to get your jolly java fix

1) Boil jug

2) Wait till water comes off the boil (IE don't scald the grounds)

3) Add to freshly ground coffee

4) wait a minute or two (the longer you leave it the more bitter the taste)

5) plunge

6) Drink

The mistake people always make, it steeping the grounds for ages in the hope of making a stronger brew. It doesn't, it just makes it bitter, if you want it strong add more coffee grounds.

Don't have a grinder any more; but Roasted Addiction Dark roast comes close :)

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