How to realy annoy BT

BT have an affiliate program at http://www2.bt.com/static/i/btretail/consumer/affiliates/ so if you find your self on any of their affiliates web sites, drop the affiliate a note explaining why you will be advising all you friends and colleges not to use that affiliate.

Nothing can change policy faster than a bunch of annoyed affiliates.

Quick fix for traficking

1) Licence brothels

2) Make it a criminal offence to run an unlicensed brothel, with an unlimited fine, but minimum 1 years gross takings from the enterprise and a minimum of 10 years, maximum life imprisonment for the owner(s) of the brothel.

3) Do NOT make it illegal to visit an unlicensed brothel.

4) Divide up 50% of the fine amongst all those who reported the brothel to the police.

5) Do NOT deport the prostitutes.

6) On no account let the Daily Wail know you are planning on doing this until the day *AFTER* the election.

@Ged

Lets just extend your logic a bit shall we.

According yo you it would be OK for an update to Open Office to silently patch MS Word so that ODF was the default document type and disable the mechanism to change the default to any other file type.

That would be just as stupid.

@James

Signals in Perl because

1) You never know when your children finish $SIG{CHLD}

2) The system on the other end of the pipe closes unexpectedly $SIG{PIPE}

3) Some one hits ^C $SIG{INT}

4) Your daemons config file has just been updated $SIG{HUP}

5) The OS asks your program to terminate $SIG{TERM}

In all these cases you may want to do something unusual or different or as

simple as updating a counter.

.paris

Is that our beloved icon, the one in Texas or the one in France :-)

@dervheid

Wouldn't it have been cheaper to let RBS fail and protect the depositors to 100%. Then some one could have bought the useful bits as a going concern and left the crap behind.

Instead of which we seam to have bought a bank with so much crap it's about to post the biggest loss in UK Corporate history. And we are also left insuring the banks against further losses.

Go Icon because no one can stop this madness.

@Roger Heathcote

Re; US Patent 5579517 "Common Name Space for Long and Short Filenames" November 26, 1996.

I think your novelty score is to low. No one in their right mind would have come up with M$'s brain dead way of 'fixing' FAT-16

PS http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/articles/djf500/200902260425DOWJONESDJONLINE000552_FORTUNE5.htm

TomTom Rejects Microsoft's Patent Infringement Claims :-)

So you are a bot farm manager

And you are worried about betrayal by your colleges. Well M$ has just announced the minimum take per college you need in order to keep them all loyal.

Thanks M$

@Sarah Bee

Would you please come and stand as an MP in my Constituency, as you seam to be able to do the following

1) Keep your head when the flames rise.

2) Talk sense where the Politicians talk bollocks

3) Keep us, El Reg's loyal readership, in line

I'll even stump up the deposit.

Sarah Bee for PM

This is why outsourcing ...

your code also means outsourcing your security.

Asking the lowest bidder to code up a new part of your web site may look good on this quarter's balance sheet. However next quarter, when you have to explain why all your users credit cards are owned by a gang in Nigeria, it may not look so good.

Pirate flag as that's who owns your web site now.

Re: Olimpics Logo

It only counts as depraved if you can get your rocks of to it.

|

|- "n

I'll leave it to your own filthy minds to work out what the image is

@Gulfie

So what you are asking for is freenet over WiFi, yes?

1984 any one?

He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future.

IE7 sites that will not work with IE8

Include almost every medium/large corporations Intranet. Especially those built around Shairpoint and other MS technology.

That's the real problem here not 'web' sites

That quote in full

"This is libelous, it's defamatory and you shouldn't just get away with this."

And by responding in this fashion we have elevated our client from an obscure Canadian model to a world wide brand hence increasing our cut of the damages we can now expect.

Officially dead

Just think of all the benefits of being officially dead.

You no longer pay any taxes.

You can not be arrested.

You can eat where you want and claim that the food is a religious offering so you don't have to pay.

You could annoy Richard Dawkins by phoning him up and claiming he talks to dead people.

The only downside I can see is your gf/bf being arrested for Necrophilia

BBC grows backbone

There's hope yet in the world.

Any way I thought there where only two reasons to watch Top Gear

1) To be offended by Clarkson

2) Watch the producers try and kill Richard Hammond.

I believe there is an other presenter but for some reason my mind drops into a stupor when he appears and I can't remember his name.

Borders currently sell

Battle Royal http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/images/1591823153/ref=dp_image_0/280-4763913-1215000?ie=UTF8&n=266239&s=books

I wonder if they will continue to do so after Jan 9th

@Joe

BeeeEEEEeeeEEEp BEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEP! BeeeeEEEE.......

Romeo and Juliet

We must ban this sick and deprived play immediately. It is obvious to even the most casual reader that Juliet is only 13 years old and as such should never be the attention of the perverted and licentious, he spends the early part of the play joking about sex, Romeo.

Why oh Why ...

I'm sorry I must have been channeling the Daily Mail. I'll get my coat.

I think David Atenbrough may have a problem

If you can get arrested for cartoon underage sex what about all those nature programs showing Gorillas mating. I'm sure that they where under the age of consent ant have far more 'personality' than Bart and Liesa

Am I the only one

looking at that image and thinking Eccentrica Gallumbits

@ Anonymous Coward Posted Wednesday 3rd December 2008 13:45 GMT

Speaker Martin's Statement to the House claims that the police did not have a search warrant and nor did they inform the Sargent at Arms that she could demand one.

Also the raid on the House of Commons took place at 7am.

Why 7am of all times, was this to ensure that non of the House officials would be sufficiently awake to realise what was going on?

I wonder if this will run under Wine

Then I don't need to worry about un-installing this DRM crap, or it infecting any other game. Just delete the wine directory for the game.

I'm waiting for this as the next headline

Major law firm REDACTED successfully wipes it's self from the net.

Or possibly

Jones Day sues every one who has ever made a web site for linking to a site that link to a site that is in a chain of sites that links to Jones Day's web site.

Boffin because it looks like a dim light bulb if you squint enough, and these layers are defiantly dim light bulbs when it comes to the Internet

As those who can type faster than me have said

Wasn't the whole point of this that you would check with the central database. Now all I need to do to get my fake ID is clone someone else's with an RFID reader and map their details onto a bare card containing my biometric details.

Mines the one with the I'm Sparticus ID card in the Pocket.

If this guy dosn't get his way

How long until Insurance companies are allowed to trawl the data.

I Don't have children but

If I did I would call mine

;delete from names

Just to see what happens every time someone had to look them up

Transuranic heavy metals may not be used where there is life'

That brings back memories of Joanna Lumly.

Not to mention proper kids TV.

If you can shield a childs info

Surly that should be the default option.

Any way once this goes on line the Government will have a last know address for everyone under 16 in the country, and as kids seam to be staying at home longer these days it won't be long before the Government will have a list of current addresses for most of the 17 - 18 year old's in the country.

By the way what happens to your data once you do become an adult?

What will happen is

Some other child won't get picked up by the system and access to the database will be expanded to include more people, its usage will become easier and security will go out the window.

Finally some novice case worker will leave their laptop on a train with the access to the wifi enabled VPN open to the system for all to access.

The tomb stone marks the last resting place of personal privacy.

How do content providers get paid for this?

When I was a young 'un the internet hat this concept of sharing. content providers did not expect to get payed, they hoped to get read.

Oh well I guess that commie pinko liberal thinking went the way of free market capitalism.

@ Chronos

Ok so I was being a tad sarcastic. And I accept that this is a bug in a Linux component.

But if you want to run Linux on your lap top/palm top get one that works or complain to the vendor trying to sell you it.

This is why ...

You should use native Linux drivers or tell the Hardware manufactures you won't buy from them.

The Independent

This used to be a good news paper, now it seams more and more like the Daily Mail, so I'm not surprised they might want to buy It.

An Ex Indie reader

Training?

"should not have absorbed the continuing building delays by compromising the time needed to complete the full testing and familiarisation process as planned".

Oh look, because of time overruns the training was skimped. Well at least we know that in IT this *never* happens

What happened to

the Flying Spaghetti Monster, all praise to his noodley appendages.

I wonder if we could start a campaign to raise awareness of Pasterfariasm

It's not entirely clear where Microsoft's interest in this technology lies

Realy,

You mean that MS have no reasion to turn my speach from 'Linux is grate' to 'Linux grates'

Spaces in usernames and passwords

If you have a space in your username or password you can do one of the following

1) put a \ before each and every space

sudo mount -t cifs -o user=bid\ mead,pass=whatever //192.168.1.11/MyShare /mnt/mountpoint

2) put the paramater inside ' characters

sudo mount -t cifs -o 'user=bid mead,pass=whatever' //192.168.1.11/MyShare /mnt/mountpoint

Thumbs up for a good beginners guide though