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* Posts by Paul Webb

124 posts • joined 14 Apr 2008

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Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

Paul Webb

Same here, nothing for radio or video from about 7pm (at least that's when I noticed it). Then it came back a few hours later but stopped again sometime during the night. This is Win7 btw, I was so hoping I could blame it on Virgin Media but everything else was fine.

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Sorry London, Europe's top tech city is Munich

Paul Webb

Peak Beard

Seems we've reached the end of 'facial innovation' too:

'Peak Beard' is this the end for the facial hair?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-27048100

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Gnome Foundation runs out of cash

Paul Webb
Happy

"Laugh all you like at that last sentence."?

I was laughing at the first one.

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Drone 'hacked' to take out triathlete

Paul Webb
Terminator

What you need is drones with tazers!

Stupid C.U.P.I.D

http://www.chaoticmoon.com/case-studies/chaotic-unmanned-personal-intercept-drone/

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Java or .NET bod in the Midlands? Congrats - you've got a DOUBLE DIGIT payrise

Paul Webb
Boffin

So, who wants to learn COBOL now?

Is this demand for .NET and Java going to make it even more difficult to retrain people with these skills to look after all the big tin out there (as suggested by the article below)? Or will that retraining (eventually) lead to even better remuneration? Just curious.

'Retiring greybeards force firms to retrain Java, .NET bods as mainframe sysadmins'

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/02/20/compuware_mainframe_retirements/

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Wii got it WRONG: How do you solve a problem like Nintendo?

Paul Webb

The Dreamcast was an awesome machine launched by a company so crippled by the failure of the Saturn (an overpriced 2D machine released at a time the world was going 3D) that it no longer had the financial or marketing clout to fully support the console. There wasn't much optimism even while the SDK was still being developed and the 'Dreamcast is Coming' teasers just baffled everyone.

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Samsung flings sueball at Dyson for 'intolerable' IP copycat claim

Paul Webb

"Hoover" was genericised to mean any type (or brand) of vacuum cleaner a long time ago. The (correct) expression the author was looking for was... "hoovers".

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One good thing from the Flappy Birds crapp flap: It's a handy 'tech' media rating system

Paul Webb
Joke

It's the Year of Code

Why isn't everyone writing their own Farty Bird app?

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Opera founder von Tetzchner: It's all gone to crap since I quit

Paul Webb

Sad about Opera too but vivaldi.net could be just the thing I'm looking for to escape the other usual suspects.

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First man/machine nerve grafts restore amputee's sense of touch

Paul Webb
Terminator

Re: glad to see those minds put to good use

No Captain Cyborg? Still malfunctioning all over Reading...

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Bill Gates to pull a Steve Jobs and SAVE MICROSOFT – report

Paul Webb
Unhappy

Now that Microsoft has acquired Nokia

Perhaps they should abandon software and hardware altogether and invest in pulp mills and wellies. Might have to have square toes though.

Still, plenty of takers down here in Somerset.

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Ker-ching...Er, ZZZWIP: Square-alike mobile swipe type scores $96m

Paul Webb
Thumb Down

Chasing 'abandoned' sales

They must think the only reason a sale is abandoned it because they didn't pester you enough so this lets them (physically) beat you into submission until you will buy anything to leave you alone.

I abandon sales for many reasons (never to return) one of which is only by getting to the till am I able to see the full range of additional charges they wish to gouge me with.

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Sync'n'share firm Box secretly files for IPO

Paul Webb

Re: 2m for 100m funding is not a good return on investment.

The Quartz article suggests a valuation of "more than $1 billion" in 2012. Other sources value the company at $2 billion as of December 2013.

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Don't go away, IBM and SAP – Larry's not finished with you yet

Paul Webb

"Each knows the other two has got it in them to beat it,..."

Competition actually spotted in the wild? It's been so long...

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UK picks Open Document Format for all government files

Paul Webb

Re: The Lawyer from Lima

I particularly like this paragraph:

In the same way, our proposal strengthens the security of the citizens, both in their role as legitimate owners of information managed by the state [my emphasis], and in their role as consumers. In this second case, by allowing the growth of a widespread availability of free software not containing *spy code* able to put at risk privacy and individual freedoms.

So here we are, over a decade later, reaping the rewards of not thinking along similar lines.

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Take off, nuke 'em from orbit: Kill patent trolls NOW, says FTC bigwig

Paul Webb

Re: As far as I am concerned the lady is well named.

Still sounds a bit fishy to me.

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Microsoft's next CEO: Who it WON'T be – Ford turn-around chief Mulally

Paul Webb

Re: My money is still on Elop

It will be raining pink slips whoever gets the job.

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

Paul Webb

'With Surfaces potentially going on the Christmas fire this season'

Especially any self-immolating ones - won't be roasting my chestnuts near one though.

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El Reg's contraptions confessional no.3: the Apple G4 Cube

Paul Webb
Joke

Mine defected

And turned into an Ice Cream Sandwich maker:

http://www.lakeland.co.uk/15343/Cuisinart-Ice-Cream-De-Luxe

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XBOX ONE owners rage as HDMI SNAFU 'judders' Brit and Euro tellies

Paul Webb
Happy

"It worked until I tested it!"

A great phrase from an old work colleague (about his own code).

Obviously, the solution is to not test/use it - works perfectly!

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Google shows off scanned-in Gettysburg Address drafts

Paul Webb

Re: My favorite version of the Gettysburg Address ...

I love the Organizational Overview (slide 5 of 6) -utterly, utterly, useless!

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SuperStride Me: Reg hack spends week working at 'treadmill desk'

Paul Webb

Re: Bad precedent.

They (or anyone) could install electricity-generating flooring such as that provided by Pavegen (www.pavegen.com) which converts footsteps into electricity.

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Paul Webb

Bob Cratchit isn't so far off the mark

as Dickens wrote standing up at a desk as did many others such as Churchill, Hemmingway and Lewis Carroll.

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Om-nom-nom-nom! Google's Cookie Monster DEVOURS MORE DRIVES

Paul Webb

Re: Oi Google..

Some people are even still lusting after the old Logitech Trackman Marble FX (to go with their Model-M) although not, I suspect, at these prices:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Logitech-904257-0403-TrackMan-Marble-FX-Trackball-/171047795507?pt=Mice&hash=item27d33e3b33

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Anonymous threatens cyberwar with Anonymous

Paul Webb

Re: Anonymous vs Anyonymous?

Alan Moore and David Lloyd find this all very amusing and Time Warner supposedly feel very uncomfortable about the association (but not enough to stop taking the money).

Time for a homemade Spy vs Spy mask because it will be panto season soon enough...

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Google's MYSTERY barges floating off US shores: The TRUTH

Paul Webb

Stormy waters ahead

Sergey's Underwater Nexus KitKats! - BARGE Adrift Ruins Google Experience

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MoJ fined £140K for EMAILING privates of 1,000 inmates

Paul Webb

Re: Fine

Which means there's now no more money left for (re)training...

I used to do this floppynet thing between two machines for exactly the same supposed security reasons back in... 1988? Fortunately it was only a high security MoD site (ordnance factory) with highly restricted movements of chemicals and suchlike in, out and around the site. Not a care about me taking my work home every night though.

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'Microsoft Word is a tyrant of the imagination'

Paul Webb

Mircosoft makes 'Productivity Software' sound like an xymoron

And Charles Stross is not alone or the first, here's an 'oldie but goldie' from Edward Tufte on PowerPoint:

http://www.edwardtufte.com/tufte/powerpoint

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Former Nokia boss Ollila: Stephen Elop was second-choice CEO

Paul Webb

I still wish my phone was a Nokia

And judging by these comments I don't think I'm alone.

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Google smacks Surface with free Quickoffice for Android, iOS

Paul Webb

Works for me, and it's free.

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BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

Paul Webb
Pint

"Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent"

Says it all really - if it was a proper 'internetty' company then it would be 900%.

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Battery-free e-ink screen grabs screenshots from smartphones

Paul Webb
Meh

You won't get a shopping list on your fridge door

You'll get an advert for a special offer on an item you bought previously but have no intention of ever buying again.

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Innovative solution to modern art found: Shoot it into space

Paul Webb

Turner Contemporary gallery?

Contemptible Turd gallery more like.

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Google seeks to calm facial recognition furor with app block for Glass

Paul Webb
Boffin

Time for the I'mGlass (tm) Burka of Invisibility

Where are the wearable computing countermeasures?

Or perhaps just update the etiquette about not punching people wearing glasses.

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Google gives vendors seven-day bug disclosure deadline

Paul Webb

The blog doesn't say Google will make the disclosure

It says, as you quote, that Google will support researchers in making that disclosure, not Google itself. You may think that being one step removed from the process is as good as makes no difference at all but Google will say it is just encouraging others to adopt its own position.

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Ofcom to UK: Really - you're using the same password for everything?

Paul Webb
FAIL

Password length

It would help if some sites didn't limit the length of password to, for example, 10 characters. Why take security seriously when some companies so obviously don't?

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Canadian cyborg says Google Glass design is cracked

Paul Webb
Paris Hilton

Why would I want to wear glasses...

Just to watch adverts?

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Apple to cough up $100m after kids rinse parents' credit cards on apps

Paul Webb
Childcatcher

Latest UK outbreak (Zombies v. Ninjas, £1700 bill run up by 5 year old)

This was just on the local news, featuring many of the issues already mentioned.

Apologies for the source, I can't find it anywhere else (at the time of posting):

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2285857/Zombies-vs-Ninjas-iPad-app-costs-parents-boy-1-700-extra-charges.html

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New social network is for DEAD PEOPLE

Paul Webb
FAIL

Should be cats, not people

Have these people never been on teh interwebs?

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4G in the UK? Why the smart money still says 'Meh'

Paul Webb
Pint

4G means losing all that voice revenue

So it's not surprising that EE is charging so much or that the other networks are dragging their feet. If 4G voice works at all that is:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/02/feature_wtf_is_voice_over_lte_4g/

Beer, because that's all I will be downloading today and 4G won't make that any faster (or pay-by-bonk make me pay for it any more quickly either).

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Tech firms face massive tax bill if Dutch vote to end loopholes

Paul Webb

Re: politicos aren't clever at writing legislation

And here's the tax guide they use:

http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/book/

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Ballmer now flings out work rivals, rather than chairs, claims ex-Microsoftie

Paul Webb

Re: "Ballmer is the best person to lead Microsoft"

Actually, it was Analysis on Radio 4: "Just Deserts" and very good it was too.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01pzqx9

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Dotcom's Mega to launch with mini call centre

Paul Webb

Re: Trialing as we speak.

Managed to sign up without reading the T&Cs.

Clicking on the acceptance email opened a second tab (in Firefox 18.0.1) which promptly threw an error and displayed the hour glass (Windows XP). Closing that tab brought me back to the original tab so I started upload a text file (26.6MB). Estimated upload time soon climbed to 1:38:55 and has now been stuck at "Infinity:NaN:NaN" for the last six minutes or so. Looks like I'll be reading El Reg a little while longer...

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Are your landlines buried in the stone age?

Paul Webb
Facepalm

What time capsule did you dig up this article from?

Or have the telegraph poles fallen over in the flooding?

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Search engines we have known ... before Google crushed them

Paul Webb

Re: No Ink Tummy?

The one where I didn't realise I was turning into a marketroid scum... In my alternate universe 'marcomms' <spit> came under the remit of Technical Communications so it didn't feel so dirty, especially as we were all engineers first and foremost not fluffy bunny... marketroid scum. Quite amused by the fact that the seo/sem/neu meeja company that took over our old offices likes to promote how many of its' employees have a mathematical or science background, as if that gives their activity any more credence.

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Paul Webb

No Ink Tummy?

Inktomi results (or part of) seemed to be incorporated into many of the search engines of the time, not least HotBot.

I do seem to remember a fleeting moment in time when SEO was a noble art before it became infested with marketroid scum.

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North Korea's satellite a dud, say US astroboffins

Paul Webb
Mushroom

Re: Failure?

White Goods Annoy Red Army.

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Adobe demands 7,000 years a day from humankind

Paul Webb

Not enforcable anyway?

At lest that's my understanding but also that this has never been tested in court.

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Ten badass brainy computers from science fiction

Paul Webb

Re: The Machine Stops

Not a film but there's this BBC adaptation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvrGUnIFuRs

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Microsoft tightens the scroos in search battle

Paul Webb

Re: Scroogled?

Yes, especially as the article keeps referring to scroogle and not scroogled (even in the sub-head).

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