* Posts by Shady

249 posts • joined 11 Apr 2008

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Teaching people to speak English? You just need Chatroulette without the dick pics

Shady

Politicians want adult voters' literacy to be only enough to be able to read the instruction manuals to operate the assembly lines that produce the robots that will eventually replace their jobs

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Apple's iPhone 7 to come loaded with depth-sensing camera, supply chain spies claim

Shady
Joke

Some iTard....

... upon reading this, will take their shiny shiny with them in the swimming pool, to see how accurate the depth sensor actually is.

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Shadow of the Beast: Amiga classic returns from the darkness

Shady
Pint

Amiga for work and study

I started with a 500+, upon which I spent £200 upgrading from 1mb to 2mb of Chip RAM, then got a 1200. Probably spent as much on that thing as I have on all my PC's since. Upgraded it with a 420mb hard drive (for £300!) that required cutting the RF shield with tin snips, and an external 2x/2x CDR. Then came a 68030+68882 accelerator card, courtesy of Phase 5, with 4mb of EDO Ram. Then came a tower PC case with AT PSU, rewired and heavily modified by moi in the college workshops to mount the A1200 motherboard, with an adapter from Power Computing allowing me to use PC keyboards and mouse, along with a sparkly new 6x/2x/2x CDRW. Followed that with a 4 gig HD for another £500, and a 68060 accelerator. A few months later, I had a 68060 50mhz + PowerPC 603e 240mhz, 16 mb of EDO Ram, a 4mb Permedia 2 gfx card and a 19" "truly" flat CRT monitor (I forget the brand, it was still running serviceably until just a couple of years ago at a rellies house - it was spectacular), running at 1280 * 1024, which must've weighed 30kgs.

When I told my mate how much I'd spent he absolutely pissed himself. "Can it play Quake?" he managed to utter between guffaws. It did - and played it faster and at a higher resolution than his early-adopter Pentium with 3DFX, which stopped him laughing cold.

On a serious note, all my uni assignments were prepared using Wordworth (better and faster than MS Word, at the time) and I used Public Domain SPICE to simulate electronic networks - my mate couldn't get PD SPICE tools to run on his PC, couldn't afford the cost of buying them, and unusually, didn't know anyone hawking a hooky copy, so he had to use his allotted 60 minutes of computing lab time a week efficiently. I just didn't bother - my Amiga was faster and had a better monitor than anything the Uni had. I even invested in Storm C++ to learn programming so I had a half-decent IDE. I forget the publisher.

Alas, the Accelerator managed to blow a fuse (or a resistor, or a capacitor) just short of starting my final year at Uni. Phase 5 had gone out of business and I couldn't find anyone willing to attempt a repair on exotic, unknown microelectronics, so I broke her for spares and with a heavy heart, built my furst PC - an AMD K5 with NVidia TNT gfx. One of the saddest days of my life, I still miss her now. My current Ivy Bridge i7 with 16gb, SSD and 6gig 970 might blow it out of the water computationally, but it still is not as responsive and fast-loading as my old Amiga. Sigh..... raise a pint for the old girl...

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Tim Worstall dances to victory over resources scaremongerers

Shady

Re: Oi, reg! Show us some love.

More upvotes please. A blind wife with a frozen shoulder, an autistic son, a guide dog that's allergic to trees, a cat with a propensity for random violence if I take too long getting his tea ready, a neighbour whose kid needs a lift to cubs or taekwondo every other night, being on stand by to go out looking for a senile father-in-law who insists he can walk to Bridlington (from Nottingham), and awaiting an autism diagnosis for myself, all mean I barely ever get to stray from the confines of the Midlands. Jeez, even if you did a lecture in my local pub it'd be touch and go whether I'd be able to turn up, but I'd certainly make sure dad-in-law was lightly dosed for the night, at the very least.

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Why is it that women are consistently paid less than men?

Shady

Re: Request line

Or a cheesy italian salad at Carluccio's

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FLICK my FLINT and SNIFF my TREE on the streets of Naples

Shady
Trollface

Re: Welcome Back

Have you looked in the bin, to see if there are any, erm, testing kits that your missus has recently used?

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News website deserves a slap for its hate-filled commentards, say 'ooman rights beaks

Shady

News website deserves a slap for its hate-filled commentards

Hands up everyone who thought this article was going to be about the Daily Mail

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Shady
Meh

Re: Online buying is sometimes not much better...

They need your address because they need to deliver the groceries to your home.

They need your name because they need to know who to ask for when they deliver.

They need your credit card because they need paying before dispatching your groceries.

You are vaguely aware of how internet shopping works, aren't you?

Disclaimer - I have never, and unlikely to ever, use the t'interwebs to order groceries.

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Mitsubishi Outlander PHEV: The new common-as-muck hybrid

Shady

It has the same problem as every other hybrid / pure electric vehicle

It looks absolutely shit.

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Brexit-fearing Vodafone: Of course we’ll make money from 4G

Shady

Re: Blocked by default

You can just turn off the block in the user portal without having to talk to a CSR. That's what I did heard

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Well YES, Silicon Valley VCs do think you're a CRETIN

Shady

Investors

Utility companies? This scheme would make perfect business sense for them...

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Jay-Z freestyle attack on Tidal's rivals leaked to Tidal's rivals

Shady

Re: I think its a name problem

We need a Tidal eqv. to TL;DR - Maybe TS;DL - Too Shit, Didn't Listen?

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Mondeo Man turns into mutant electrical beauty: Ford Mondeo Hybrid

Shady

Aston Martin?

Is it just me, or are Ford's attempts to make their cars look like Aston Martin's only slightly better than Wesley Snipes attempts to make his Beetle look like a Rolls Royce?

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Free markets aren't rubbish – in fact, they solve our rubbish woes

Shady

Re: We already pay

"Landfill should be seen as temporary storage and not final resting place.

Councils could sell the potential future value of piles of stuff for money today which would pay towards its collection and storage today."

I thought when they were full the councils just dropped a few inches of topsoil on them then sold them to builders as "potentially lucrative greenfield opportunities".

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Google plans ROBOTS to SLICE YOU OPEN AND CUT YOU UP

Shady

Could be worse.

The robot could be controlled by Amazon Mechanical Turk. You could actually be being operated on by several dozen housewives in Iowa making a few dollars performing Surgical Human Interface Tasks between episodes of Oprah.

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PATRIOT Act axed, NSA spying halted ... wake up, Neo, it's just a dream in the US House of Reps

Shady

When this bill fails to pass...

.. then all those who signed it, their families, their employees, their business contacts and everyone they went to school with, are going to be placed on a very special watch list. The existence of which will be forever denied.

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We're not sure what it is, but we like it: Lexus NX300h hybrid SUV

Shady
Mushroom

Re: Butt ugly from all sides!

My neighbours father drives a Lexus and regularly parks across two parking places. I wouldn't mind if it were down the supermarket, but in this case he parks straddling the line that seperates my neighbours drive from mine. He knows I think he's a wanker, but he still does it whenever he visits and I'm out.

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

Shady

Maybe it was an Atomic transaction. Did you buy anything else or did you order it in Isolation? The packaging should be be Durable at least, and customer service at the El Reg grotto is nothing if not Consistent.

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Former Mrs Dotcom hooks up with Xbox 'toyboy'

Shady

Dating profile

Likes:

Short walks on the beach.

XBox

Piracy

Pizza

Dislikes:

Orange boilersuits

Feds

Rations

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Raspberry Pi, meet face: You're probably NOT Blighty's biggest PC maker!

Shady

Re: Amstrad

Why do you think IDS's Universal Credits system was a £700m write-off?

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It's not easy being Green. But WHY insist we knit our own ties?

Shady

Re: What is a market anyway?

"Money isn't everything, despite what TW seems to want to think."

But in virtually every column, TW states that doing more of what you want - if you want Facebitch and gain more time to spend doing Facebitch, one his favourite examples - then you're better off. So why do you state that TW thinks money is everything?

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Lies, damn lies and Wikipedia: Murder suspect NOT a Plaxo founder – ex-staffer

Shady

Re: see icon

Maybe we need an Alanis Morisette icon. To be doubly ironic.

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LEAKED: Samsung's iPHONE 6 KILLER... the Samsung Galaxy S6

Shady

If leaks are real, Apple is in trouble?

Nah, the average punter aint that clever / stupid*

* Delete as applicable.

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One Sync to rule them all: How Microsoft plans to fix OneDrive

Shady
Trollface

...who wants to use SharePoint or office 365 as a document management system

... who the fuck wants to use SharePoint or office 365 as a document management system?

FTFY

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Buses? PAH. Begone with your filthy peasant-wagons

Shady

Re: The best urban transport

@Stretch, are you a bus or taxi driver? This is the wrong forum, I think you were looking for the Daily Mail

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Dotcom 'saved' Xmas for Xbox – but no one can save Sony's titsup PlayStation Network

Shady
Joke

Nintendo are strangely silent....

... maybe they orchestrated the attacks to prop up boxing day sales of the Wii U.

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How much for a wrist job? A tenner normally, but for this one, over $30k

Shady

Is the Charlie Runkle ass crack tattoo obligatory?

Just askin'....

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UK.gov quietly slips extra cash to AUTO ROBOTICA bods

Shady

“The ability to test driverless cars at scale, when married to the UK’s unique strengths in transport technologies and urban planning...." - WTF... Seriously?

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Kim Dotcom Dotcan remain on bail, despite Fed protests

Shady

Re: No longer allowed to travel by helicopter

He's got a transport problem, he's too broke too eat......

...is the local Domino's hiring?

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Shady
Mushroom

Re: Jail time or the highlands would have been better

Now be honest - if there ever was an inmate that all the other cons would avoid whilst he was picking up the soap.....

Icon is Kim after six hours of prison food

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Google Chrome on Windows 'completely unusable', gripe users

Shady
Flame

Re: How Widespread?

My (very) old core i3 laptop (Win 7, 64 bit) - with a duff battery - lasts for nearly three hours using Firefox, and well under two using Chrome.

If I let my son stay up all evening watching Minecraft videos or playing Roblox (browser based game) on my i7 desktop PC (Win 8 Pro, 64 bit), the fans max out (and the bedroom turns into a sauna) using Chrome but remains relatively cool'n'quiet using Firefox.

Two different machines, two different configs, two different OS's two different browsers. The only component causing trouble is Chrome.

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Yes, UK. REST OF EUROPE has better mobe services than you

Shady

Re: Can't trust the survey

Any survey that says either EE, Vodafone, Three or o2 are #1 at anything can't be trusted

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Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Shady

Near where I live the verges are full of these already. The local tramps must be steeped in cat-repulsion knowledge.

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Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Shady

Re: Should it not say?

I'd go with "You've paid hundreds over the odds for a bit of bling. Don't quibble over a few quid now, you tight bastard" - but it doesn't quite fit on the button.

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Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Shady

Re: Excuse me while I revel in this a rich vein of irony

Hell, yeah - ever since the last major version came out, I have to figure out, every time I open it, how to transfer mp3's from my pc to my ipod. Not even muscle memory is enough to get me through.

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Shady

If he's so offended by bad design..

..what excuse has he got for turning iOS into the biggest fucking bag of wank the world has ever seen?

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Microsoft: It's TIME at LAST. Yes - .NET is going OPEN and X-PLATFORM

Shady

Re: ????

MS is trying hard to make VS look more awful with each release - It only makes sense to take on Java if VS degrades into Eclipse, too.

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Languages don't breed bugs, PEOPLE breed bugs, say boffins

Shady
Mushroom

...the differences in code quality between languages are pretty small...

Even between PHP and C# ?

[Lights touchpaper, stands well back]

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Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD STANDS

Shady

Re: Apple NEVER pays for product placement...

I can't work out if you're being sarky or not. Of course every spy agency is going have stacks of Dells. What else are they going to use? Samsung chromebooks? Acer laptops? A 16 year-old kid might think Jack Bauer would look cool toting a twelve-pound Alienware gaming laptop, but a 13" Dell is more his style. The stacks of Dell hardware are probably the only realistic thing portrayed in programmes like 24.

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Fatty Brit 4G networks SLOW DOWN. Too much Bacon, perhaps?

Shady

Re: And EE data is/was unreliable

I was driving back through Nottingham at the weekend. My son, using an iPad 3 with a Three 3G sim, was watching his favourite Minecraft videos on Youtube in HD - no stuttering.

Meanwhile, I had my HTC One on EE 4G, paired with the car stereo, trying - and failing miserably - to stream internet radio. When EE is working properly, it's great, but it's far, far too spotty.

The second my contract is up finishing with them.

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Shady

The power of nightmares is highly illuminating.

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Xiaomi boss snaps back at Jony Ive's iPhone rival 'theft' swipe

Shady
Megaphone

It's a rectangle...

.. with rounded filed-off corners. You talk in one end. You listen at t'other. You poke the bit in the middle. Apart from prettying it up, there's really fuck-all you can do with it, design wise.

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

Shady

At last, all my services are secure

"Me typing password into google"

"Me typing password at work"

"Me typing password into online banking"

"Me typing password into amazon"

There, that ought to do it

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Fiat 500S: So pleasingly sporty we didn't want to give it back

Shady

Re: NEVER buy a Fiat

You do know what FIAT is an acronym, don't you?

Fixed It Again, Then?

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Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team

Shady

Re: Embarassing

"I've caught you red handed coming out from behind the bike sheds! Hand over that iPad immediately and go and stand in the Naughty Corner until your Surface reboots"

"But Dad - I was only smoking!"

"Oh, OK. Sorry son, I thought you were doing something bad"

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Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

Shady
Trollface

You imply that you spend a lot of time staring at peoples bottoms. Is it really "your campus", or do you get chased away a lot?

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Shady

Apple must be REALLY worried about this problem

if they've swallowed their pride and agreed to speak to el reg about it.

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play Edward Snowden in Oliver Stone movie: report

Shady
Pint

Fuck me, that's a yawn just waiting to happen. I'll be in the pub, ta

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Shady
Trollface

Re: Heat Shrink Tubinng

That doesn't work. I find that my wife gets extremely sticky some time after I've used the bondage tape on her.

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Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate

Shady

Vitra Workbays. known to those that have to use them...

...as office cubicles with rounded corners. Patent Pending Filed

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