* Posts by Shady

223 posts • joined 11 Apr 2008

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How much for a wrist job? A tenner normally, but for this one, over $30k

Shady

Is the Charlie Runkle ass crack tattoo obligatory?

Just askin'....

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UK.gov quietly slips extra cash to AUTO ROBOTICA bods

Shady

“The ability to test driverless cars at scale, when married to the UK’s unique strengths in transport technologies and urban planning...." - WTF... Seriously?

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Kim Dotcom Dotcan remain on bail, despite Fed protests

Shady

Re: No longer allowed to travel by helicopter

He's got a transport problem, he's too broke too eat......

...is the local Domino's hiring?

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Shady
Mushroom

Re: Jail time or the highlands would have been better

Now be honest - if there ever was an inmate that all the other cons would avoid whilst he was picking up the soap.....

Icon is Kim after six hours of prison food

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Google Chrome on Windows 'completely unusable', gripe users

Shady
Flame

Re: How Widespread?

My (very) old core i3 laptop (Win 7, 64 bit) - with a duff battery - lasts for nearly three hours using Firefox, and well under two using Chrome.

If I let my son stay up all evening watching Minecraft videos or playing Roblox (browser based game) on my i7 desktop PC (Win 8 Pro, 64 bit), the fans max out (and the bedroom turns into a sauna) using Chrome but remains relatively cool'n'quiet using Firefox.

Two different machines, two different configs, two different OS's two different browsers. The only component causing trouble is Chrome.

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Yes, UK. REST OF EUROPE has better mobe services than you

Shady

Re: Can't trust the survey

Any survey that says either EE, Vodafone, Three or o2 are #1 at anything can't be trusted

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Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Shady

Near where I live the verges are full of these already. The local tramps must be steeped in cat-repulsion knowledge.

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Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Shady

Re: Should it not say?

I'd go with "You've paid hundreds over the odds for a bit of bling. Don't quibble over a few quid now, you tight bastard" - but it doesn't quite fit on the button.

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Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Shady

Re: Excuse me while I revel in this a rich vein of irony

Hell, yeah - ever since the last major version came out, I have to figure out, every time I open it, how to transfer mp3's from my pc to my ipod. Not even muscle memory is enough to get me through.

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Shady

If he's so offended by bad design..

..what excuse has he got for turning iOS into the biggest fucking bag of wank the world has ever seen?

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Microsoft: It's TIME at LAST. Yes - .NET is going OPEN and X-PLATFORM

Shady

Re: ????

MS is trying hard to make VS look more awful with each release - It only makes sense to take on Java if VS degrades into Eclipse, too.

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Languages don't breed bugs, PEOPLE breed bugs, say boffins

Shady
Mushroom

...the differences in code quality between languages are pretty small...

Even between PHP and C# ?

[Lights touchpaper, stands well back]

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Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD STANDS

Shady

Re: Apple NEVER pays for product placement...

I can't work out if you're being sarky or not. Of course every spy agency is going have stacks of Dells. What else are they going to use? Samsung chromebooks? Acer laptops? A 16 year-old kid might think Jack Bauer would look cool toting a twelve-pound Alienware gaming laptop, but a 13" Dell is more his style. The stacks of Dell hardware are probably the only realistic thing portrayed in programmes like 24.

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Fatty Brit 4G networks SLOW DOWN. Too much Bacon, perhaps?

Shady

Re: And EE data is/was unreliable

I was driving back through Nottingham at the weekend. My son, using an iPad 3 with a Three 3G sim, was watching his favourite Minecraft videos on Youtube in HD - no stuttering.

Meanwhile, I had my HTC One on EE 4G, paired with the car stereo, trying - and failing miserably - to stream internet radio. When EE is working properly, it's great, but it's far, far too spotty.

The second my contract is up finishing with them.

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Shady

The power of nightmares is highly illuminating.

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Xiaomi boss snaps back at Jony Ive's iPhone rival 'theft' swipe

Shady
Megaphone

It's a rectangle...

.. with rounded filed-off corners. You talk in one end. You listen at t'other. You poke the bit in the middle. Apart from prettying it up, there's really fuck-all you can do with it, design wise.

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

Shady

At last, all my services are secure

"Me typing password into google"

"Me typing password at work"

"Me typing password into online banking"

"Me typing password into amazon"

There, that ought to do it

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Fiat 500S: So pleasingly sporty we didn't want to give it back

Shady

Re: NEVER buy a Fiat

You do know what FIAT is an acronym, don't you?

Fixed It Again, Then?

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Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team

Shady

Re: Embarassing

"I've caught you red handed coming out from behind the bike sheds! Hand over that iPad immediately and go and stand in the Naughty Corner until your Surface reboots"

"But Dad - I was only smoking!"

"Oh, OK. Sorry son, I thought you were doing something bad"

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Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

Shady
Trollface

You imply that you spend a lot of time staring at peoples bottoms. Is it really "your campus", or do you get chased away a lot?

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Shady

Apple must be REALLY worried about this problem

if they've swallowed their pride and agreed to speak to el reg about it.

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play Edward Snowden in Oliver Stone movie: report

Shady
Pint

Fuck me, that's a yawn just waiting to happen. I'll be in the pub, ta

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Shady
Trollface

Re: Heat Shrink Tubinng

That doesn't work. I find that my wife gets extremely sticky some time after I've used the bondage tape on her.

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Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate

Shady

Vitra Workbays. known to those that have to use them...

...as office cubicles with rounded corners. Patent Pending Filed

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James Bond's metal-toothed nemesis Richard Kiel dies at 74

Shady

The Humanoid

I had a soft spot for this film as a kid, probably has not stood the test of time though...

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Smart meters in UK homes will only save folks a lousy £26 a year

Shady

Re: Irrelevant

You will. You will be made to. And if you continue to resist, your name will be added to the official list of dissenters.

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SAN-free, NAS-free? Scottish PHDs lift kilt on how they'll pull storage out of the aether

Shady

If you're running a company with 25+ PC's and you can't drop 2k on a NAS

Then you've got bigger problems.

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DNS cockup locks Virgin Media customers out of ntlworld.com email

Shady

DNS cockup locks Virgin Media customers out of ntlworld.com email

All three of them

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Six of the best gaming keyboard and mouse combos

Shady

I would really like a decent gaming mouse and keyboard

But I don't want my home-office to look like the bedroom of a spotty teenager.

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Bright lights, affordable motor: Ford puts LED headlights onto Mondeo

Shady

Re: Meanwhile, laser light appears

Don't worry, as long as the lasers are being used as indicators then they'll never get fired.

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Object storage bods Exablox: RAID is dead, baby. RAID is dead

Shady

Re: Marketing overload!!!

And anyone representing a startup and using the word "disrupt" is a complete and utter c**t

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UK.gov eyes up virtual currencies, fingers red tape dispenser

Shady

The gov say VC's should be regulated...

.. and I hear the word "taxed"

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Android banking apps vulnerable to cash theft by CAS hole hackers

Shady

Not really...

... because it's not guarding THEIR money

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UK WhatsApp duo convicted of possessing extreme porn

Shady

Re: Possessing an image likely to cause injury

Psychological Injury? "What has been seen, cannot be unseen?"

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Pentagon hacker McKinnon can't visit sick dad for fear of extradition

Shady
Joke

Drive a few miles south...

... tweet "on way to holiday in Penzance! #Suckers"... turn around, drive due north a few hundred miles...

Unless I missed the bit about requiring to go through customs when you visit Scotland (from England).

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Shady

Re: Ha!!! Henderson, Anderson ,Sanderson, whetever the hell your name is

My surname is Cope. COPE. It must be one of the easiest-to-spell surnames in the english language. It is not:

Cup, Cop, Copp, Coup, Coop, Coope, Coupe, Coppe, Copper, Couper, Cooper, Copi, Copa, Coper (close I suppose!) or Copy or any of those derivations beginning with the letter K when speaking to an east european call center.

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Wireless charging stretches the friendship by 45mm

Shady
Coat

Re: It's going to make my bedside table a lot neater.

Ewwww! Wirelessly rechargeable vibe rack?! (fetches dirty mac)

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'Blow it up': Plods pop round for chat with Commonwealth Games tweeter

Shady
Black Helicopters

Re: Plods really are dumb

Not too dumb to subpoena el reg for your IP address though, so unless you posted through TOR you could well still be stuffed.....

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THUD! WD plonks down SIX TERABYTE 'consumer NAS' fatboy

Shady
Trollface

Re: Bays

How does the hard drive know how many bay-siblings it has? Is it somehow self-aware?

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UK.gov pops lid off £700m barrel of non-Cloudable hosting pork

Shady
Trollface

I've got a reseller account

I can sort 'em out, and salt away a decent profit

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Microsoft not good enough for you, eh? 'Next Steve Ballmer' drives to Google

Shady
Happy

Forgle is short'n'sweet

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Microsoft's Lumia 930... a real HANDFUL

Shady
Joke

Re: er, specs?

Your typical el reg reader wants swearing, bad puns, pedantry etc.

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The Windows 8 dilemma: Win 8 or wait for 9?

Shady
FAIL

Re: Time for some truly revolutionary GUIs?

Computer: "What you like to do now Dave?"

Dave: "Write a letter"

Computer: "Would that be in Office 2010, Office 2013, Office 365, WordPad, LibreOffice......"

Dave: "Any. The first. I don't care"

Computer: "To which First are you inferring? President? Birthday?"

Dave "The First Office Version!"

Computer: "I do not have have Office 1 Installed"

Dave: "I want to write a letter using Office 2010"

Computer: "Office 365 is the current version. Would you prefer to use that instead"

Dave: "YES!"

Computer: "Would you like to add a heading to your letter?"

Dave: "Yes"

Computer: "Please tell me your heading"

Dave: "Gimme back my fucking mouse pointer and icons"

Computer: "I do not understand the word gimme"

Dave: [cocks handgun]

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Going up: Fancy a virtual flight to 30km above the PLANET?

Shady
Thumb Up

Re: Skeggie???

Panda's Palace! Those hand-powered carts were fantastic! Plus, the big arcades opposite the Embassy introduced me to Nemesis, Starbike, Jackal, Double Dragon, Toobin', 720 etc. And no-one, and I do mean no-one, could knock off my high scores on Mappy. Pity they're just full of gambling machines and the odd big cabinet now.

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Shady
Joke

Or

For much less money, visit Skegness Pier and have a go on the thirty year old Simulator Ride!

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Shady

Re: Ultimately, it saves massive amounts of time (and petrol).

Now come on, that's a bit harsh. I know some fuckwits are completely unbearable but burning them alive isn't really acceptable, surely?

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NASA: Satellite which will END man-made CO2 debate in orbit at last

Shady
Trollface

Re: On the gripping hand..

This is The Register comments section, not the Daily Mail's

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Pension quango's £18.5m project FINALLY goes live... 2 months late

Shady

£18.5m is a "mega deal"?

Not for a gov project - that would barely cover what the consultants spend in Starbucks.

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BOFH: You can take our lives, but you'll never take OUR MACROS

Shady
Paris Hilton

Using Excel to catalogue film collections....

... is for non-techies.

At a younger age I built a micro-CMS to catalogue all my porn clips - depending on my mood that night (or that morning, or mid-afternoon, as long as my Mum was out shopping) I could sort them by my star rating, how many times watched (ah, I'm fed up with TP, I'm going to watch JJ for a bit instead), or category (er, Position? "Finish?")

No Joke-Icon. Honestly. But curiously enough, One Night In Paris only scored 1/5 for me.

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SHOCKER: CIA CIO CAN confirm that AWS cloud safe for big government

Shady

Of course the CIA knows that AWS is safe

Because they are holding the keys.

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