188 posts • joined 11 Apr 2008
Re: Ha!!! Henderson, Anderson ,Sanderson, whetever the hell your name is
My surname is Cope. COPE. It must be one of the easiest-to-spell surnames in the english language. It is not:
Cup, Cop, Copp, Coup, Coop, Coope, Coupe, Coppe, Copper, Couper, Cooper, Copi, Copa, Coper (close I suppose!) or Copy or any of those derivations beginning with the letter K when speaking to an east european call center.
Re: It's going to make my bedside table a lot neater.
Ewwww! Wirelessly rechargeable vibe rack?! (fetches dirty mac)
Re: Plods really are dumb
Not too dumb to subpoena el reg for your IP address though, so unless you posted through TOR you could well still be stuffed.....
How does the hard drive know how many bay-siblings it has? Is it somehow self-aware?
I've got a reseller account
I can sort 'em out, and salt away a decent profit
Forgle is short'n'sweet
Re: er, specs?
Your typical el reg reader wants swearing, bad puns, pedantry etc.
Re: Time for some truly revolutionary GUIs?
Computer: "What you like to do now Dave?"
Dave: "Write a letter"
Computer: "Would that be in Office 2010, Office 2013, Office 365, WordPad, LibreOffice......"
Dave: "Any. The first. I don't care"
Computer: "To which First are you inferring? President? Birthday?"
Dave "The First Office Version!"
Computer: "I do not have have Office 1 Installed"
Dave: "I want to write a letter using Office 2010"
Computer: "Office 365 is the current version. Would you prefer to use that instead"
Computer: "Would you like to add a heading to your letter?"
Computer: "Please tell me your heading"
Dave: "Gimme back my fucking mouse pointer and icons"
Computer: "I do not understand the word gimme"
Dave: [cocks handgun]
Panda's Palace! Those hand-powered carts were fantastic! Plus, the big arcades opposite the Embassy introduced me to Nemesis, Starbike, Jackal, Double Dragon, Toobin', 720 etc. And no-one, and I do mean no-one, could knock off my high scores on Mappy. Pity they're just full of gambling machines and the odd big cabinet now.
For much less money, visit Skegness Pier and have a go on the thirty year old Simulator Ride!
Re: Ultimately, it saves massive amounts of time (and petrol).
Now come on, that's a bit harsh. I know some fuckwits are completely unbearable but burning them alive isn't really acceptable, surely?
Re: On the gripping hand..
This is The Register comments section, not the Daily Mail's
£18.5m is a "mega deal"?
Not for a gov project - that would barely cover what the consultants spend in Starbucks.
Using Excel to catalogue film collections....
... is for non-techies.
At a younger age I built a micro-CMS to catalogue all my porn clips - depending on my mood that night (or that morning, or mid-afternoon, as long as my Mum was out shopping) I could sort them by my star rating, how many times watched (ah, I'm fed up with TP, I'm going to watch JJ for a bit instead), or category (er, Position? "Finish?")
No Joke-Icon. Honestly. But curiously enough, One Night In Paris only scored 1/5 for me.
Of course the CIA knows that AWS is safe
Because they are holding the keys.
My bwuvver, copying some porn to, ahem, a floppy disk
Bro: My file won't fit on the disk.
Me: How big is the file?
Bro: (holding up thumb and forefinger about an inch apart) about this big
Re: Shady So porn images were filtered out?
There - fixed it for ya :)
So porn images were filtered out?
So all the cyber terrorists had to do to maintain security was wear fake boobs. Sorted.
"I hear the results from Saturday will be put into a paper of some sort."
Such as the Daily Mail. EAST EUROPEAN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE ON ITS WAY TO CLAIM BENEFITS FROM UK TAXPAYERS!
Re: All good stuff
Unless you produce you owm power?
What have Smeg and the Heads got to do with it?
You do know that...
...shortly after telling BT / Talk Talk / Virgin to f*** off and you take out that nice shiny wireless broadband contract, they'll go the way of RedHotAnt.
Re: That assumes continuation of state education and the NHS
The real problem with the NHS was the way Labour squandered the money. For example, when they came to power there was a shortage of Nurses so Labour poured a ton of money into employing.... Highly Paid Managers. To increase the efficiency of the Nurses time management.
There was (is) also the problem of PFI. Launched by the Tories, the Labour government picked up the ball and really ran with this one, ending up with hospitals that cost many times as much to run privately on behalf of the NHS than the NHS could do directly themselves.
The NHS is being undermined - by forced privatisation by the Tories and sheer incompetence by Labour. It needs more money to prop it up but that money needs to be spent on actual services, not on lining a private healthcare companies ledger or employing a gang of overpaid whip-crackers to make an over-worked Nurse work even harder.
Maybe (and there is probably a better solution) one solution is to divorce management of the NHS from the state and make it a government funded, autonomous entity, as long as provisions were made to ensure funds made available for the NHS didn't just disappear into the deposit account of large, private healthcare companies?
Disclaimer - I am a regular customer of the NHS. I am a type 1 Diabetic and also have a combination of Dyspraxia and Charcot joint disease, which between them have seen me taken to casualty on average once every three years of my life (I'm now 40, I've had about 12 admissions) with either a DKA or broken limbs, and on one occasion a suspected subarachnoid hemorrhage. I've had to clean a ward bathroom whilst an in-patient because the hospital could not afford to clean them every day and I didn't fancy showering whilst my fellow ward-mates vomit or faeces were staring at me from the shower tray - that was just four years ago.
In the past I've also been told to make a single-use syringe last for three days (that's fifteen injections - and they are blunt as fuck after two) because the GP couldn't afford to prescribe more than one pack of ten a month.
So yes, in my *experience* the NHS was and is severely underfunded.
So if there's a power cut...
... that would constitute a Denial Of Service attack?
Re: "other asteroid disaster movie"
That's just being astronomically pedantic
So it was a UFO?
Unidentified Floater Object?
Are they really trying to make it look like outlook.com?
Re: A sad day
Similarly, I've probably bought around fifty or sixty books from them over the years. Always wanted to support the little guy over Amazon et al, so apart from buying direct (Apress or Packt) nearly all of my non-fiction book shopping was through CompMan.
'tis a sad day indeed
Floppy disks nearly got me punched
I gave my mate at uni a copy of some C++ IDE which came on about sixty disks. He spent about 18 hours installing it and then realised I hadn't given him the last disk - it was still in my PC. His Mum switched his PC off when he went out to collect the last disk from me.
The cursing was enough to make a PFY blush
Re: How About
Isn't an extra thick slab just a "brick"?
Are they going to make one that's thinner than it is wide this time?
So after Glassholes we now have
Now if we can just rid the world of....
... 3 pin power supplies where the captive cable comes out of the top of the plug instead of the bottom.
And hang, draw, quarter and piss on the graves of the motherf*king w*nkstains who thought that was a great design.
Re: It's not their party
I don't know - on UK roads approximately 1 death for every two million miles driven doesn't sound that bad - unless you end up being that "1".
On seconds thoughts, I'm currently covering 30,000 miles per year, so I'm odds on to kill someone (possibly myself) with 20 odd years of driving behind me and 30 ahead of me.
Yeah, you're right.
(That's an Air Ambulance, BTW)
... the cool and fun bit bolted a while back.
You should've been quicker, luv.
£1 billion for tags?
It would be cheaper to just stick the bad guys in the slammer.
"I'll admit I'm not much of an Apple fan and try not to bash, but seriously what's the point of this? What advantage does this give you over 6U of boxes?"
A free ad in El Reg?
Absolutely. Play used to be my 100% exclusive go-to place for CD's, games & DVD's. Since Rakuten took over and turned it Yet Another Marketplace I've bought one single solitary item from them - and only because I failed to find it anywhere else. (a very particular edition of the Likely Lads, if you must know).
Over the years I've placed approximately £6,000 of orders on Play.com before Rakuten screwed it up - most of that money is now going to Amazon and Apple (eww), as much as I hate to admit it.
Re: Does it come in a range of bendiness?
I no longer fancy the thought of buying an ex-demo for a few quid cheaper
Can they now rollout working 4G? Seeing as I'm paying for that and despite living in Nottingham and working in Sheffield (both 4G cities), haven't actually seen a 4G signal in 8 months.
Re: Borged by Liberty
With my service it's the audio on CTV channels. And it whenever it drops out, it is coincidently *always* during an important part of the dialogue.
And as for On-Demand?
Pick a film
Pay for film
Only *then* do I get the message "On demand is unavailable - oversubscribed" (or some such - and I'm the only person on the street with VM)
Then I have to phone VM and ask for my money back, because they've already added it to the bill.
"But you can watch the film anytime in the next 48 hours" they reply,
Then I want to sigh down the phone. "you fucking worthless cretin - do you not understand the concept of 'on-demand?' Do you not understand that I've opened a bottle of wine, sat down with the missus, the kid has gone to sleep at a reasonable hour for the first time in a fucking month and I won't get this opportunity again for another month? Why can't your piece of shit set-top box just not tell me I can't watch a film BEFORE you've fucking billed me for it?"
But I bite my tongue because I'm far too reasonable for my own blood pressure, and ask again nicely
Should have purchased...
... the reliability bolt-on...
Whereas our weather...
...currently resembles that of LV-426
How apple engineers plan to implement
if(device.rebrander == brands.apple)
mood = "sense of overwhelming superiority, joy, and happiness approaching sexual nirvana"
mood = "sexually inadequate, anorak wearing loser with nasal hair and BO"
With Surfaces potentially going under Christmas trees this season....
"I TOLD YOU I WANTED AN IPAD!!!!!!" WAH!!!!!!
That's an awful lot of accidental purchases and lawsuits just waiting to happen
It is panto season....
... oh yes they can! (but they shouldn't)
...was bought to you by Drobo - proud sponsors of The Register
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MOVING TO THE AZURE PUBLIC CLOUD
Plan for downtime about once a week because of
1) DNS cockup*
2) Routing cockup*
3) SSL Certificate cockup*
* Delete as applicable. Or not.
... a retailer other than Amazon has managed to generate some free publicity...
Let it be Harriet Harman!
- NASA boffin: RIDDLE of odd BULGE FOUND on MOON is SOLVED
- BuzzGasm! Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS
- Microsoft's Euro cloud darkens: US FEDS can dig into foreign servers
- Worstall on Wednesday YES, iPhones ARE getting slower with each new release of iOS
- Plug and PREY: Hackers reprogram USB drives to silently infect PCs