208 posts • joined 11 Apr 2008
It's a rectangle...
rounded filed-off corners. You talk in one end. You listen at t'other. You poke the bit in the middle. Apart from prettying it up, there's really fuck-all you can do with it, design wise.
At last, all my services are secure
"Me typing password into google"
"Me typing password at work"
"Me typing password into online banking"
"Me typing password into amazon"
There, that ought to do it
Re: NEVER buy a Fiat
You do know what FIAT is an acronym, don't you?
Fixed It Again, Then?
"I've caught you red handed coming out from behind the bike sheds! Hand over that iPad immediately and go and stand in the Naughty Corner until your Surface reboots"
"But Dad - I was only smoking!"
"Oh, OK. Sorry son, I thought you were doing something bad"
You imply that you spend a lot of time staring at peoples bottoms. Is it really "your campus", or do you get chased away a lot?
Apple must be REALLY worried about this problem
if they've swallowed their pride and agreed to speak to el reg about it.
Fuck me, that's a yawn just waiting to happen. I'll be in the pub, ta
Re: Heat Shrink Tubinng
That doesn't work. I find that my wife gets extremely sticky some time after I've used the bondage tape on her.
Vitra Workbays. known to those that have to use them...
...as office cubicles with rounded corners. Patent
You will. You will be made to. And if you continue to resist, your name will be added to the official list of dissenters.
If you're running a company with 25+ PC's and you can't drop 2k on a NAS
Then you've got bigger problems.
DNS cockup locks Virgin Media customers out of ntlworld.com email
All three of them
I would really like a decent gaming mouse and keyboard
But I don't want my home-office to look like the bedroom of a spotty teenager.
Re: Meanwhile, laser light appears
Don't worry, as long as the lasers are being used as indicators then they'll never get fired.
Re: Marketing overload!!!
And anyone representing a startup and using the word "disrupt" is a complete and utter c**t
The gov say VC's should be regulated...
.. and I hear the word "taxed"
... because it's not guarding THEIR money
Re: Possessing an image likely to cause injury
Psychological Injury? "What has been seen, cannot be unseen?"
Drive a few miles south...
... tweet "on way to holiday in Penzance! #Suckers"... turn around, drive due north a few hundred miles...
Unless I missed the bit about requiring to go through customs when you visit Scotland (from England).
Re: Ha!!! Henderson, Anderson ,Sanderson, whetever the hell your name is
My surname is Cope. COPE. It must be one of the easiest-to-spell surnames in the english language. It is not:
Cup, Cop, Copp, Coup, Coop, Coope, Coupe, Coppe, Copper, Couper, Cooper, Copi, Copa, Coper (close I suppose!) or Copy or any of those derivations beginning with the letter K when speaking to an east european call center.
Re: It's going to make my bedside table a lot neater.
Ewwww! Wirelessly rechargeable vibe rack?! (fetches dirty mac)
Re: Plods really are dumb
Not too dumb to subpoena el reg for your IP address though, so unless you posted through TOR you could well still be stuffed.....
How does the hard drive know how many bay-siblings it has? Is it somehow self-aware?
I've got a reseller account
I can sort 'em out, and salt away a decent profit
Forgle is short'n'sweet
Re: er, specs?
Your typical el reg reader wants swearing, bad puns, pedantry etc.
Re: Time for some truly revolutionary GUIs?
Computer: "What you like to do now Dave?"
Dave: "Write a letter"
Computer: "Would that be in Office 2010, Office 2013, Office 365, WordPad, LibreOffice......"
Dave: "Any. The first. I don't care"
Computer: "To which First are you inferring? President? Birthday?"
Dave "The First Office Version!"
Computer: "I do not have have Office 1 Installed"
Dave: "I want to write a letter using Office 2010"
Computer: "Office 365 is the current version. Would you prefer to use that instead"
Computer: "Would you like to add a heading to your letter?"
Computer: "Please tell me your heading"
Dave: "Gimme back my fucking mouse pointer and icons"
Computer: "I do not understand the word gimme"
Dave: [cocks handgun]
Panda's Palace! Those hand-powered carts were fantastic! Plus, the big arcades opposite the Embassy introduced me to Nemesis, Starbike, Jackal, Double Dragon, Toobin', 720 etc. And no-one, and I do mean no-one, could knock off my high scores on Mappy. Pity they're just full of gambling machines and the odd big cabinet now.
For much less money, visit Skegness Pier and have a go on the thirty year old Simulator Ride!
Re: Ultimately, it saves massive amounts of time (and petrol).
Now come on, that's a bit harsh. I know some fuckwits are completely unbearable but burning them alive isn't really acceptable, surely?
Re: On the gripping hand..
This is The Register comments section, not the Daily Mail's
£18.5m is a "mega deal"?
Not for a gov project - that would barely cover what the consultants spend in Starbucks.
Using Excel to catalogue film collections....
... is for non-techies.
At a younger age I built a micro-CMS to catalogue all my porn clips - depending on my mood that night (or that morning, or mid-afternoon, as long as my Mum was out shopping) I could sort them by my star rating, how many times watched (ah, I'm fed up with TP, I'm going to watch JJ for a bit instead), or category (er, Position? "Finish?")
No Joke-Icon. Honestly. But curiously enough, One Night In Paris only scored 1/5 for me.
Of course the CIA knows that AWS is safe
Because they are holding the keys.
My bwuvver, copying some porn to, ahem, a floppy disk
Bro: My file won't fit on the disk.
Me: How big is the file?
Bro: (holding up thumb and forefinger about an inch apart) about this big
Re: Shady So porn images were filtered out?
There - fixed it for ya :)
So porn images were filtered out?
So all the cyber terrorists had to do to maintain security was wear fake boobs. Sorted.
"I hear the results from Saturday will be put into a paper of some sort."
Such as the Daily Mail. EAST EUROPEAN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE ON ITS WAY TO CLAIM BENEFITS FROM UK TAXPAYERS!
Re: All good stuff
Unless you produce you owm power?
What have Smeg and the Heads got to do with it?
You do know that...
...shortly after telling BT / Talk Talk / Virgin to f*** off and you take out that nice shiny wireless broadband contract, they'll go the way of RedHotAnt.
Re: That assumes continuation of state education and the NHS
The real problem with the NHS was the way Labour squandered the money. For example, when they came to power there was a shortage of Nurses so Labour poured a ton of money into employing.... Highly Paid Managers. To increase the efficiency of the Nurses time management.
There was (is) also the problem of PFI. Launched by the Tories, the Labour government picked up the ball and really ran with this one, ending up with hospitals that cost many times as much to run privately on behalf of the NHS than the NHS could do directly themselves.
The NHS is being undermined - by forced privatisation by the Tories and sheer incompetence by Labour. It needs more money to prop it up but that money needs to be spent on actual services, not on lining a private healthcare companies ledger or employing a gang of overpaid whip-crackers to make an over-worked Nurse work even harder.
Maybe (and there is probably a better solution) one solution is to divorce management of the NHS from the state and make it a government funded, autonomous entity, as long as provisions were made to ensure funds made available for the NHS didn't just disappear into the deposit account of large, private healthcare companies?
Disclaimer - I am a regular customer of the NHS. I am a type 1 Diabetic and also have a combination of Dyspraxia and Charcot joint disease, which between them have seen me taken to casualty on average once every three years of my life (I'm now 40, I've had about 12 admissions) with either a DKA or broken limbs, and on one occasion a suspected subarachnoid hemorrhage. I've had to clean a ward bathroom whilst an in-patient because the hospital could not afford to clean them every day and I didn't fancy showering whilst my fellow ward-mates vomit or faeces were staring at me from the shower tray - that was just four years ago.
In the past I've also been told to make a single-use syringe last for three days (that's fifteen injections - and they are blunt as fuck after two) because the GP couldn't afford to prescribe more than one pack of ten a month.
So yes, in my *experience* the NHS was and is severely underfunded.
So if there's a power cut...
... that would constitute a Denial Of Service attack?
Re: "other asteroid disaster movie"
That's just being astronomically pedantic
So it was a UFO?
Unidentified Floater Object?
Are they really trying to make it look like outlook.com?
Re: A sad day
Similarly, I've probably bought around fifty or sixty books from them over the years. Always wanted to support the little guy over Amazon et al, so apart from buying direct (Apress or Packt) nearly all of my non-fiction book shopping was through CompMan.
'tis a sad day indeed
Floppy disks nearly got me punched
I gave my mate at uni a copy of some C++ IDE which came on about sixty disks. He spent about 18 hours installing it and then realised I hadn't given him the last disk - it was still in my PC. His Mum switched his PC off when he went out to collect the last disk from me.
The cursing was enough to make a PFY blush
Re: How About
Isn't an extra thick slab just a "brick"?
Are they going to make one that's thinner than it is wide this time?
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