47 posts • joined 7 Apr 2008
Steve... how many cock-ups can a guy make?
The main reason most people have installed Firefox is to avoid the gaping security holes in Windows Internet Explorer, particularly in running uninvited code. And the M$tards are basically patching Firefox - without asking - to make it more likely to do the same thing?
I hope the EU Courts will have something to say about that, since once again M$ is abusing its monopoly position against a competing web browser. You'd think they'd have paid out enough already!
ps Should that be cocks-up?
pps Paris 'cos she doesn't care.
Although we're keeping them out in the fringes I don't think there's been enough consideration of what migrating urban beaver might precipitate.
Tux, 'cos he's on the march too.
OSX & the BSD license
Since the BSD license states that "redistribution in binary form" is permitted, does that include the bit at the heart of Mac OSX?
It seems ironic that Apple make loadsa money from free software and then disses its redistribution.
Paris 'cos she's probably much nicer to the Regents of the University of California.
Come out and display your real virtual self rather than hide behind the arras of your anonymity.
Get real! The trouble with adulterous behaviour is nothing to do with moral integrity and trustworthiness, but rather the possibility of feuding in the ranks and in extremis being blackmailed into spying by foreign johnnies.
Quids pro quo
I am planning to take a much more inclusive view in my own tax affairs: I am several years behind in my tax returns, and have been building a second house 80 yards from my first.
So many changes are now possible to my accounting strategy that I could need several more years to finalise these tax returns; but since I know for a fact I've been spending more money than I've been earning it stands to reason that the taxman owes me money.
By the time I've factored in Communications allowance and some creative "flipping", not to mention all the furniture, fittings and security system (Fido) and my faithful research assistant I anticipate a healthy payout from the rest of you, which I shall invest in RBS shares.
Tux, 'cos it's still a noble ideal.
The government who invented the controlled leak are going to prosecute? Better tape up the windows in the glass-house.
Peace, Love and Plaster
I feel your hate, brothers. You must know that Ireland has the highest Virgin Mary consumption in the world? With that strongly inculcated national background of chronic idolatry, blasphemy is a terrible danger, especially from the young, and must be fought from the cradle to the grave.
Benny the Bull, St Peter Gypsum Co., VC, Rome.
It should be noted by the critics that Rosslyn Chapel's visitor headcount (and financial health) has been multiplied by ten since the Da Vinci Code went mega.
Although Rosslyn is not a participating Vatican franchise, surely God still blesses Mr. Brown.
Paris 'cos she's simply divine.
Overpriced database on overpriced hardware.
Poor old MySQL - I feel a Visual Foxpro coming on.
Not entirely useless
This will help combat an age-old Naval problem: after many years of obsessive compulsive painting many battleships are top-heavy enough to be in danger of capsizing.
Bring them into line astern and give them a drive-by squirt from a couple of these new laser ships and they'll be all set for a fresh coat.
Paris, purely from a heat POV.
Is there an opportunity here?
Rather than flooding the market with a large number of skilled boffins, administrators and team leaders why not get them onto fixing up the various techno-shambles in government IT?
Being used to the rigours of commercial IT means that these staff can generally deliver on time and budget, unlike most of Whitehall's IT projects. Not only that; they're used to large-scale enterprise networked secure solutions too. In all the post-crisis lambasting of RBS there has been no criticism of their IT or back-office skills.
Terminate current Government IT contracts instead and give the RBS team a chance - it makes more sense than wholesale redundancy.
Paris 'cos that's where I'm heading.
Perhaps some business angel with a spare $40B might step in here.
One thing is certain...
The 2009 Ig Nobel Award for Eco-Nutro-Bio-Physi-Agro-Chemi-omics is a foregone conclusion.
Let them eat Apples
Wish I had a job like yours
I recall the phrase "Land of Beef and Bog" from antediluvian geography lessons. All is light.
Perhaps catalytic clip-on moustaches could offer even greater reductions?
Paris 'cos she's a gas too.
Up yours Jobbo, from Bill
With tongue in cheek I attempted to download IE 8 to my Mac running an old Safari 4 beta and OSX 10.4.something or other. I had to <div> for cover as Safari crashed and burned around me.
Never one to take a hint, I tried again: fried again.
I found a bug in Opera, reported it twice and had no acknowledgement either time. The bug was still there last time I checked. Not a security issue, but why bother having a bug list in the first place?
Thank God for the prescience and vigilance of our Scottish Parliament and that this sort of thing will never happen here: even if it did noone would be able to keep the photographs.
Laughing all the way to the sperm bank (they're still handling the odd depositor unlike two other famous Scottish establishments).
Time for megacloud
What are the chances of all these clouds being down at the same time? I think parallelism is the way forward here.
Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't, Oh no it is, oh yes it isn't,
Seems odd the iPhone has a non-executable heap where Safari can't, or am I missing something?
I recall seeing a couple of TV ads over Christmas with this very message, so I'm inclined to think £4.6M might be on the money. IMHO they were rubbish, and more likely to encourage teenage sex than anything else.
Question: "Want some respect"?
Answer: "Earn it".
Getting a leg up
This would be better targetted at carers, porters, hod-carriers and housebuilders than squaddies who are just going to break it anyhow (speaking as a former Navy man). Older people with a long-term need to lift heavy things or people could perhaps benefit more than the US Army, who are jolly good at heavy weights anyway. This could have been very useful when I had to carry hundreds of sheets of plasterboard and plywood up steps recently, for example.
Not to mention getting home from the pub some nights - "turning rubber back into steel", that's what we need. Paris too.
The Irish still have some humour in amongst their road traffic policing, and haven't bent over and been rodgered by piratical local councils and police authorities.
East, west: sub's best
A couple of questions:
Against which enemy or enemies does the USA need a 200 mile shelling range? Can't be Russia or China, 'cos they've got the submarines to sink these ships in half an hour. Most of Iran is out of range, unless the septics can build one in the Caspian Sea, so I reckon that leaves North Korea and the UK, 'cos our subs are all laid up in Rosyth dockyard.
Secondly, I'm curious about barrel length. I fancy this will severely limit the possible angle of elevation, unless the ship is to be modeled along the lines of the Pepsi Max at Blackpool.
There was a time when the monarch would give them the chop, literally. Although the House of Commons no longer is liable to this sort of direct action their Lordships still may be.
There's nothing like an odd execution for maintaining rank in the orders.
Steve 'cos he's for the chop too.
Thank you Tim, now I understand. One does feel onanistic.
Where's Paris when she's needed?
Huh? Even searching the Reg's own memory banks doesn't find "ODFO". Let me guess...
Order dead forest organisms; only deep fry otters: over-done food observations. Oh dear, footballing oligarchs?
Oh damn, Fido's out...
And another thing
During the course of a long career some things stick in the mind, and occasionally elsewhere.
"Hello Robbie, my program's not working." ... "The screen's on, but I can't read it." ... "What big box is that?". Someone had liberated the under-desk system unit .
"Hello Robbie, my program's not working." ... "Yes, I've put the floppy disk in" ... "I've tried several copies" ... "The last one was a bit tight". Six floppies in one disk drive.
"Hello Robbie, my printer's not working." ... "It was OK just a minute ago" ... "BANG" ... 3 inch paper clip embedded in ceiling tile just missing left eyeball. Don't mess with daisywheel printers.
Fantastic weapon system it might be, but it's not torpedo-proof.
Has anyone checked the confectionery angle? I'd eat the feckers if they were wine gums.
Paris 'cos she's a bit gooey too.
Is this a Scottish Tourist Board campaign?
Yet another reason to live North of the border, along with the weather and Wee Eck. I'm off to sharpen my caber.
Shurely shome mishtake
This whole farrago would be more plausible were not the photographs so blatantly airbrushed. Even our most purulent tabloids would not have dared to published this specious blather.
I remain, Sirs,
Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells.
Paris, 'cos you nicked her Lego set.
Do the sums
I'm on a reasonably typical contracted 8Mbps at 1:50 contention unlimited download. 1 day has 86400 seconds, and one byte has 8 bits (without overhead). My actual speed seems about 2.5Mbps (crap line / noise perhaps?), which when divided by 50 and then 8 comes to 6250 bytes / second, or 22.5MB per hour. At a genuine 8Mbps I'd get 72MB per hour, and 1GB should take about 14 hours. Going at it 24/7 over a 31 day month I'd get 53.7GB.
Normally I might do better than that, but that's all I pay for and all I am entitled to. That also is the maximum entitlement of my other 49 contenders, be they BitTorrenters or not, and they can expect no more. Judging from the comments above few are paying for their own downloads, or capable of doing the arithmetic.
It's worth pointing out that a substantial part of my monthly traffic is software patches. I have various machines using one internet connection and I estimate that 3-4GB per month is now due to software patches. Not quite in the gamers' league though; and all by HTTP to boot.
Software for the masses
Here in the Sovietski Soyuz ve use your open sourceski softvare for ze veapons. Ve can see vot ve're doing and ze guys vot write ze vindows wiruses all vork for us anyvay. Ve vouldn't use zat stuff if ve vas you. Bottoms up boobies!
Ve've got girls like Paris too; have a quick Pinsk at Ludmila Komsomolskaya Leningradskaya Petrovsky Kalanchevskaya here - by the time you say zdrastvuitye she's half way to Norwich already.
Even Linux lovers can do .doc files. Were there many Java 3D submissions this year? And no .txt content? PDF is a proprietary format - the reader's free but Acrobat certainly isn't. And spare a thought for those poor Mediator 7 users. It's a miracle only one school failed on this.
@AC 13:45 - Looks like you didn't check the guidance either - more than pdf is acceptable.
Some of this row is about standards and consistency, and that list of file formats is anything but. The old Department of Education (or whichever of many several forgettable acronyms they'd like to use) offer techie help on their web site @ http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/help/technical/download01.shtml for people having trouble with .doc files, including a link to M$. Pity no-one found it.
These poor kids had no chance, with clots at the school and the Edexcel universal fail translation service waiting in the wings.
We're obviously not paying enough taxes...
...to be stuck with a) this outfit and b) the government agency that should monitor them.
I don't blame the teacher: that's one hell of a list of acceptable formats - did they get their software on a CD with the Sunday Mail? Why PowerPoint & Excel but not Word? Ah, that must be what the Microsoft Office Compatibility Pack does then?! Oops, no it isn't - I must get the kids to write their essays in 3D Java next time.
Thank goodness the DfES, or is it DUIS or DCSF (and I wonder how much we've spent on name changes since the days of the good old Department of Education?) can supply us with information on how to read some common document formats: see http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/help/technical/download01.shtml for some useful details, including a link to several MS Word viewers. A pity neither they nor Edexcel thought to look at it. What formats do they write to each other in I wonder? Do they have anyone with computing experience from the last twenty years working there?
Just WTF are these people doing with their time (and my money)? "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" indeedy.
It doesn't really matter whether it's water, cack, loo roll or whatever, you can only get so much in a tube at once.
At a guess most of us have signed up to 50:1 contention at a nominal 8Mb/s, so the most we can expect to download in a month is 86400 * 31 * 8000000 / 50 / 8 bytes, a mere 53.568GB, irrespective of protocol, and without time off to view the downloads.
If you've paid for more, you have a case for moaning; if not, please bear in mind you'll get even less in February.
Paris 'cos she'd be a jolly good overhead.
Get your copy here
Micro$oft VizTa for sale, suitable for renovation, with substantial Yawho? Toolbar. Please send a blank CD and $40 to St3vieB@redmond.museum
My bits are freezing
No matter how big your bedroom is, it's probably full of crap. Like the Internet's plumbing.
BBC iPlayer seems to be for people who can't work a TV recorder; the whole raison d'etre (look it up) of BitTorrent is to download stuff faster than anyone else (so what's happening - doh?); and oh gee I'm getting bored and lonely in my bedroom with my CD / DVD / XBox / PS / MP3 / BlueRay mega-collection so rather than talk to someone real why don't I meet up with other sadsacks in virtual gameworld by using all my Dad's bandwidth on some unnecessary P2P packet explosion software? My porn movie was really jumpy last night because of all you barstewards.
Perhaps the way forward here is to modify the gambling algorithms. If the online betting sites never paid out under any circumstances the judge would be surely be contentified. Like buying bank shares for instance.
Paris 'cos she's could lick any fried chicken.
Should report it to the Federation Against Software Theft.
It's undoubtedly necessary to be at least self-delusional to promote religion, since anyone who doesn't think so is kidding themselves.
Is this man any more badly affected than his peers for having strayed a bit off-campus? Who knows, he might be a little black kettle himself?
Bill, 'cos he's just beatific.
Just how exactly is an orgy a private activity? A poor guy in MI5 loses his job 'cos his wife's doing a bit of moonlighting on Mosley, and this self-pitying perv's still not got the decency to resign. Even the Hamiltons would have left by now.
It's the News of the Screws for goodness sake: of course they're going to publish, and why not? Personally I can't believe they lost the case: were the Profumo / Lambton / Parkinson / Mellor / Ashdown affairs only reportable because they were all politicians? What about all the clergymen, milkmen, housewives and other latex-wearing sheep-shagging wife-swapping hyphen-bearers the rag has unfrocked for our national education? Why should Mr Mosley be any different, except he's a barrister who's read the ECHR as well as a public figure?
God bless the Sun, for today anyway, and keep our courtrooms free of litigious sinners who protest too much after getting caught with their pants down.
I was the right way up, and you're the tw*tdanglers.
Yours sincerely folks, David Blaine
Paris 'cos she's a triumph of form over function like me.
Who are the bigots here?
This poor man has been persecuted for merely mentioning what now appears to be a taboo word while being a church member.
Personally I believe that Bertrand Russell debunked religion in a short sentence, but that doesn't mean that discussing Creationism in a school should be be a stoning offence. Discussion is not the same as teaching
Some of the comments above belong in Malleus Malleficorum rather than a blog.
"Sorry son, that was a roll of the ship."
"It felt more like a roll of linoleum."
It strikes me that spoofing torrent connections could well be a form of entrapment, which is not usually an allowed form of evidence gathering; at least not by our boys in blue.
Also, I'm surprised that there aren't ways of filesharing which would avoid all outside attentions.
- Top Gear Tigers and Bingo Boilers: Farewell then, Phones4U
- Breaking Fad 4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch
- Updated iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!
- Stephen Pie iPhone 6: Most exquisite MOBILE? NO, it's the Most Exquisite THING. EVER
- Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM