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* Posts by Fatman

1411 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

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Hackers pop Brazil newspaper to root home routers

Fatman
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Re: Apple on the brain much?

Methinks somebody has been writing about Apple products a tad too much lately.

Or drank a gallon of cider lately!

</snark>

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Yawn, Wikileaks, we already knew about FinFisher. But these software binaries...

Fatman
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Re: Malware

So which AV vendor will be the first to De-Whitelist this?

Not one of them, as "De-Whitelisting" this would revoke their "NSA certified" malware scanner status.

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

Fatman
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RE:... hey this looks like something out of a BOFH episode.

What WOULD make the BOFH proud would be able to intercept the stream from the 'print payroll job', and make some necessary changes, those that increase his pay, and those that diminish the boss' pay.

This could really stump the bean counters.

"Shit, the (payroll) numbers are right, but why do the checks came out WRONG?"

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FTC: We didn't robocall you and thousands of others asking for bank details. IT'S A TRAP!

Fatman
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Stopping these scammers...

...can only be accomplished by the insertion of a .357 hollow point into the back of the head.

Anything else does not amount to much of a deterrent.

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Verizon hit with $7.4 MEEELLION fine for slurping users' privates

Fatman
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Re: Verizon is making damned sure everyone knows they hate their customers

Why are you in business Verizon?

<snark>

"Verizon is a premier supplier of telecommunications services worldwide to both commercial and residential customers. Verizon takes great pride in supplying the best service it can provide fleecing its customers at every opportunity it recognizes 24/7/365.

Verizon respects the privacy rights of its customers, and it respects ignores the opt-out rights of those customers. In our attempt to provide these outstanding services to our customers, we may from time to time, contact customers with promotional materials detailing our service offerings spam existing and potentially new customers with junk mail detailing the shallow services we provide, and the exorbitant prices we charge for them.

Verizon wants to be your only telecommunications services supplier, and Verizon takes its corporate responsibilities seriously challengers to its monopoly status seriously and Verizon will take those steps necessary utilize any and all means necessary to insure its monopoly status to carry out its mission to provide excellence in customer service increase shareholder value.

</snark>

BTW, the stricken text is likely what you might have heard from the PR droids at Verizon, the emphasized text is more likely the real answer to your question.

Lastly, a simple request, upvote this if you agree. Thanks.

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Look out: The Far Eastern white-box boys are coming for EVERYONE

Fatman
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Re: Gartner

We, as in most of the readers of el'Reg, probably won't however PHBs have a nasty habit of believing them.

The "problem" with PHB's is this:

They are so full of bullshit, they have become desensitized to its smell; that they no longer recognize bullshit when they smell it.

You and I, still have our keen sense of smell, and know the smell of bullshit 'well'.

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NASA to reformat Opportunity rover's memory from 125 million miles away

Fatman
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Re: Even though they're highly skilled at that...

...and have done it with the MER rovers several times with no problems, the idea of optimizing and reformatting a system from 125 million miles out scares the hell out of me, when I think of the times a simple OS update on my desktop has blown up in my face.

Or the poor thing is stuck there for eternity with "Press any key to continue" on its console.

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BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

Fatman
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Bean counters can drive you to drink.

My boss (and, I have nicknamed her Princess because she is a joy to work for) has had her share of encounters with the company's bean counters over "the IT asset list".

Much of the aggravation comes from her insistence to maintain some really old, hard to obtain shit, in the slim as hell chance that we MAY just need that shit in the future. To reduce the value of this shit, once she has EOLed the base asset, anything it may have contained that could be useful is given an slightly new asset number. These asset numbers are constructed of the original asset number followed by a suffix, and those parts are assigned a 'value' of only $1.00. (only in 'Merika). The remainder is expensed.

One year, a junior bean counter that was never read into this practice, gave her some serious shit, and started to demand answers. Princess is usually a well mannered person, but the attitude of the junior bean counter nearly sent her over the edge. She looked the bean counter straight in the eye, and pointed to the katana that hangs from the wall behind her desk, and inquired of the junior bean counter if he wanted to experience its use first hand. Fortunately, for the junior bean counter, he declined.

Princess had a lot of pull within the company, (I didn't know it at the time, but she is a part owner) so she made damn sure the bean counter's NEXT annual performance review was less than stellar. The first 'lesson' imparted on me when I started here was: "DO NOT piss Princess off, or else she will have your head." I think I know where all of this comes from, on a shelf in the bookcase behind her is prominently displayed: "Winning Through Intimidation". I believe she practices it as often as is necessary.

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

Fatman
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Coat

Re: This topic

Might these suffice? (WARNING NSFW and definitely NSAW (Not Safe Around Women)).

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/jfeKEq56fKc/0.jpg

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/chybMnfbih0/0.jpg

I was looking for the one of that Brazilian soccer player who has such a 'perfect ass', but I can't find it.

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Researchers camouflage haxxor traps with fake application traffic

Fatman
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Re: Historically sound practices

Given that deception has an as yet undefined ROI I guess it may be a harder sell to the bean counters, but corporate lawyers help with estimated costs and impact of a breach.

That is the crux of the problem - the dammed bean counters. Typical of manglement, they can't comprehend the value of misdirection and deception. Their little minds do not have the computing capacity.

I have always wondered how much 'trouble' you might get 'in to' if you set up a honeypot and used sufficient bait, that when opened or executed on a hacker's machine would poison it. Think of handing your friendly hacker a cyanide pill for his computer. Would you get into 'trouble' if you left something that tempting just lay out there in a folder with a 'juicy name' (like patent registrations, "legal" strategies, etc)?

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Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Fatman
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RE: But it is indeed mysterious why Microsoft thought it would make sense on a desktop.

Because some ID10T in marketing thought that touch was a brilliant idea after he drank a gallon of MS Kool-Aid.

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Time Warner Cable customers SQUEAL as US network goes offline

Fatman
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Re: They aren't very big on redundancy...

The market executive suite has spoken. The market executive suite wants cheap, not reliable more money for the executive bonus pool.

FTFY!

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Judge nixes HP deal for director amnesty after $8.8bn Autonomy snafu

Fatman
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Re: Buying HP

At the moment buying any HP product for critical services looks like a stupid idea.

When this shit hit the fan, my forward thinking boss put HP on the do not buy list, as she expected HP to disappear go down in flames; and she didn't want unsupported kit at our company. Can't blame her for that.

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Fatman
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FAIL

RE: Re: Sorry HP, there are two sides to every purchase

It find it absolutely fascinating that the HP board has not expressed even the smallest inclination to demand answers from Deloitte & Touche so I cannot help but wonder what Deloitte & Touche have on them...

I must wonder, is there grounds for criminal charges for breach of fiduciary duty that could be filed against HP's manglement and BoD??

The most appropriate icon for HP's manglement and BoD. ------------------------------------------->

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BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Fatman
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Joke

RE: I don't call a spade a spade. I call it a BLT -- Beancounter Liberation Tool.

I think I will use the weekend hours to acquire one of those since I have an unappreciative beancounter to deal with next week Tuesday.

I must admit, it is a perfect double use tool, first to liberate the beancounter from their self afflicted disease (of counting beans), and then second, covering up the evidence of said liberation.

I think I will put that beancounter under the slab that is being poured for the generator system that the beancounter fought against. ("It will deplete the executive bonus pool!") Perfect karma.

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SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk

Fatman
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Re: Just a test

All their components will have an engineered envelope in which to work, so all they need is the data from the sensors. If that data goes outside the envelope the thing will break.

I could have told them that.

Perhaps their goal was to see how far outside the envelope it can be pushed before the thing broke.

I am fairly certain that it helps to have some idea of how much 'safety margin' you actually have in a design, as you develop it.

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Supervalu supermarket stores stung by sneaky sales system scammers

Fatman
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C level culpability

"As in the Target case, the board should fire both the CEO and the senior IT management that allowed this to occur for gross negligence. Technology and processes exist to eliminate this class of problem, but the CEO chose not to or could not implement them due to lack of knowledge or will."

You forgot the real reason: "Security costs money, and that comes out of my bonus."

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Know what Ferguson city needs right now? It's not Anonymous doxing random people

Fatman
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Re: In Amerika

Since 9/11, the terrorists have won.

Unfortunately, these terrorists wear badges.

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Hackers' Paradise: The rise of soft options and the demise of hard choices

Fatman
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Re: Default deny

Windows Vista says "Hi!".

DAMMIT MAN, you beat me to it!!!!

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Naughty NSA was so drunk on data it forgot collection rules

Fatman
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Re: Any consequences?

You asked:

Have those responsible within the NSA had to suffer consequences for those breaches? What exactly? Anyone fined? Fired? Imprisoned?

THERE WILL BE NO CONSEQUENCES FOR ANYONE, THEY WERE SIMPLY DOING THEIR JOBS

Do you honestly expect the government to hang its lawbreaking snoops out to dry?

It will NEVER happen.

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HP says it will sue former Autonomy CFO Sushovan Hussein

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Autonomy aren't saints either

HP brought Autonomy for US$11.1 billion when it was valued at around US$6.2 billion (a 79% premium) had conducted due-diligence and found no major issues and then wrote it down by US$8.8 billion.

So THAT'S how you increase shareholder value!!!!!!

I honestly though it was a recipe for bankrupting a company.

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Fatman
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Re: I bet there are part numbers for each...

Sure are:

FUCKED UP CEO 1

FUCKED UP CEO 2

FUCKED UP CEO 3

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Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Wow .. It's not their money at risk, it's the shareholders after all.

Excellent point, and until the shareholders find some collective balls, and dump the BoD and the executive suite; they will continue to get fucked over.

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Windows Registry-infecting malware has no files, survives reboots

Fatman
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Re: What I don't get

Somehow it seems Microsoft left a door ajar somewhere waiting for it to be exploited for the NSA to exploit.

FTFY!!!!

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Multifunction printer p0wnage just getting worse, researcher finds

Fatman
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Re: @ Lost all faith...

Management Manglement listening to marketing doth not secure systems make ...

FTFY!!!

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BOFH: The Great Backup BACKDOWN

Fatman
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Re: Cloudy McCloud and the Vault of falsely sensed security, Chapter 1

*AC because the 'I told you so' dance is strictly for internal mockery, not exposing the (L)user's shortcoming to their superiors, causing said fool to be denied a year end bonus, which will cause him extreme public embarrassment when the truth is finally revealed.

FTFY!!!

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Fatman
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FAIL

RE: but hey, if it's either that or lose their precious excel templates...

In that case, no great loss!!!

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Comcast, Time Warner boost net speeds in Google Fiber city – COINCIDENCE?

Fatman
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Re: It's nothing to do with rural!

If I could give you more than one upvote, I would. Well said.

Well, I gave him one for you!

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Indie ISP to Netflix: Give it a rest about 'net neutrality' – and get your checkbook out

Fatman
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Who 'foots' the bill.

This kind of ties in with the recent threads about the Netflix/Verizon spat on El Reg. There were discussions about where the "fault" lies and I did raise the question about peering arrangements and who actually should pay for what.

I recall that you certainly did.

My take:

IF

Netflix 'foots the bill' for the 'fat pipe' to the ISP, then Netflix has every right to say how it is used

BUT

if the ISP 'foots the bill' for a fatter pipe, then Netflix can go out and fuck itself

HOWEVER

if they agree to 'split' the bill, then that may be a reasonable commercial arrangement

It all depends on who blinks first, or gets their nuts squeezed by a regulator first.

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Another day, another Firefox: Version 31 is upon us ALREADY

Fatman
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WTF?

Re: Incremental versions?

I grant you that doesn't excuse Mozilla from copying such a blatantly bad idea -- it smell reeks of marketing hype.

FTFY!!!

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Oh girl, you jus' didn't: Level 3 slaps Verizon in Netflix throttle blowup

Fatman
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RE: Level3 speaks 'up'

About a week ago, I posited that the problem has 3 potential bottle neck spots, the transit provider's outbound ports, the interconnect to Verizon VerLIESon, or with VerLIESon's inbound ports.

Well, it seems that the culprit, at least according to Level3 is VerLIESon.

Who wouldda thunk that???

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Fatman
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Re: @RatFox...

*Anger* would be me resting in a well shielded Sniper's Perch, .50Cal rifle on it's bipod, picking off Verizon C-level executives...

Be careful, you are starting to wander into terrorist country, and attract the attention of the real (badge carrying) terrorists.

</snark>

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Don't put that duffel bag full of cash in the hotel room safe

Fatman
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Re: This is why you pay your employees well

...yet they pay their security guards, janitors/maintenance staff and help desk workers crap wages.

Jesus Christ Man!!!

How in hell do you expect to fund the senior executive bonus pool????

You must cut costs somewhere!!!!!

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Listen: WORST EVER customer service call – Comcast is 'very embarrassed'

Fatman
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Re: Not surprising

It's a crime the truth that such a nation can call itself "Land of the Free".

FTFY! (Hint: look closely at the 'last word'.)

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Verizon points more fingers at Netflix: It's YOUR pals slowing data

Fatman
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Re: All agreed what the problem is...

The diagram on its own would suggest that Netflix needs to talk to its transit provider and get more capacity on that link.

WRONG!!!

Take a second look at that diagram.

You have:

Netflix transit provider's outbound port ----> interconnect -----> Verizon's inbound port

and conversely:

Verizon's outbound port ----> interconnect ----> Netflix's transit provider's inbound port

Everyone seems to agree that there is a problem with the first traffic flow; but the question begs:

EXACTLY where is the bottleneck?

Is it at Netflix's transit provider's OUTBOUND PORT?

Is it in the interconnect itself?

Or is it at Verizon's INBOUND PORT.

An example that may help you 'get this'

You have a desktop PC with a gigabit LAN card; but you are stuck in an old building that has only Cat 3 cable, and you connect to a slower Fast ethernet (100Mbs) switch.

You would EXPECT to get 1 gigabit performance because you have a gigabit card, but you won't? Care to guess why, and determine what is causing the rate to be limited??? If you guess that you are stuck at 10Mb because of the old Cat 3 cable you may very well be right; but in NO WAY will you get a gigabit because of the Fast ethernet switch.

The question remains: "WHO has the bottleneck"? You have infrastructure from potentially 3 different companies, with 3 different investment priorities, someone needs to 'step up'.

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Fatman
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RE: Verizon pointing fingers...

That's some pretty incredible double bullshitspeak at work.

FTFY!!

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What's that burning tire smell? It's Microsoft screeching away from the No-IP car crash

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Dumbass Judge

Everyone seems to have missed the point - Microsoft managed to convince a judge to sign that order.

The judge is the one who signed the order, if (s)he is incapable of understanding tech issues, then why should (s)he remain on the bench?

What should now occur is an examination of the evidence submitted, and if it does not pass muster, then proceedings should begin to remove that judge from office, and possibly have (her) him disbarred.

And if the evidence was 'weak' to begin with, then the lawyers at Microsoft ought to face discipline for their abuse of the legal process.

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Fatman
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WTF?

Re: All too familiar

I solved this problem a long time ago.

As the maid says: "I DON'T DO WINDOWS!!!!", so don't call me up looking for help with that malware magnet of an operating system!

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HP in 'serious' settlement talks over Autonomy legal bust-up

Fatman
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RE: What's the point of Shareholders suing the company they own?

One, they may no longer be shareholders in the company, and they may feel that they were LIED TO, and suffered a loss when they dumped their stock. Now they want someone to pay.

Two, the company most likely has D&O (directors and officers) insurance that "protects" the owners (stockholders) from acts of the directors and officers; and suing the company is the only way to get the D&O insurance to 'pay out'.

Third, they just might be doing it for shits and giggles.

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Germany dumps Verizon for Deutsche Telekom over NSA spying

Fatman
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Re: Dear Verizon....

But it is well past time that US citizens wake up to the lies we are constantly being fed by our government, starting with the president (sadly), and going both up and down the chain of command from there..

The problem is that the American public gives more of a rat's ass about who is the next American Idol than whipping its miscreant government back in line.

This snow job is only possible because of the duplicity of so many different players.

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'Our entire corporation cannot send or receive emails from Outlook'

Fatman
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Office 365 troubles

And MacBuffalo said:

Office365 is beginning to look like a very poor choice for mission critical services.

NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!!!

Any IT staffer with half a brain would have recognized it.

But, nooo, damagement knows best.

Fire the ID10T who made that decision - without severance pay. That must be the price paid for such incompetence.

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Traffic lights, fridges and how they've all got it in for us

Fatman
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Re: I want my breakfast...

You can't have it because

The Microsoft designed DRM says so.

DRM - (in this case) Diet Restrictions Management!

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'Heartbleed-based BYOD hack' pwns insurance giant Aviva's iPhones

Fatman
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Re: Good to know

If that really is the case, then whoever specified the system (and penny pinched when an offline backup was suggested), should be given the bill a fat bonus for saving the company money.

FTFY!!!

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Hackers steal trade secrets from major US hedge firm

Fatman
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FAIL

RE: "rot in prison for the rest of their lives."

Let's hope the bastards who committed this heinous crime rot in prison for the rest of their lives.

That will NEVER happen. The bankers wankers OWN the gubmint.

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Microsoft: NSA security fallout 'getting worse' ... 'not blowing over'

Fatman
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Re: Cloud security

Wait a minute. I'm a manager, and I've been reading a lot of case studies and watching a lot of webcasts about The Cloud. Based on all of this glorious marketing literature, I, as a manager, have absolutely no reason to doubt the safety of any data put in The Cloud.

(emphasis mine)

As I read that, I am caught in a quandary,

1) Are you an IDIOT?

2) Did you forget your <sarcasm> tag?

I certainly hope it is not #1.

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Sony CEO forced to shush shareholder heckling at fiery AGM

Fatman
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Sony's AGM

At least Sony's CEO didn't have an angry stockholder walk up to the podium, and lay a katana down on it.

</snark>

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32,000 motherboards spit passwords in CLEARTEXT!

Fatman
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Re: Eh?

What do you think happens in that scenario, PHB goes seppuku-o-clock, or shifts the blame to the vendors/beancounters?

No, the PHB shifts blame to poor IT sod, who has no say in the matter just to save his ass!!!!

"Wot?????!! That slacker didn't tell me what could go wrong!! How was I supposed to know that?" or some shit like that!

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FCC boss says he'll SHAME broadband firms for fibbing on speeds

Fatman
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Speed tests....

I chose to participate in the FCC's speed tests of broadband service providers, and I get a monthly 'report card' on the performance.

Allow me to paste in the results for April and May of this year I have a 10/1Mbs tier.

Broadband Report Card

>From 1 Apr 2014 to 30 Apr 2014

=== Downstream throughput ===

1.10Mbps Average

0.90Mbps Min - 1pm, Tue, 29th Apr

1.17Mbps Max - 1am, Sun, 6th Apr

=== Upstream throughput ===

0.59Mbps Average

0.52Mbps Min - 9pm, Tue, 8th Apr

0.66Mbps Max - 9am, Sun, 6th Apr

=== Latency ===

31.62ms Average

13.34ms Min - 2am, Thu, 10th Apr

602.45ms Max - 5pm, Tue, 22nd Apr

=== Packet Loss ===

0.23% Average

0.00% Min - 8am, Tue, 1st Apr

89.90% Max - 1am, Mon, 14th Apr

Broadband Report Card

>From 1 May 2014 to 31 May 2014

=== Downstream throughput ===

1.03Mbps Average

0.49Mbps Min - 11am, Thu, 1st May

1.14Mbps Max - 1pm, Sun, 25th May

=== Upstream throughput ===

0.59Mbps Average

0.55Mbps Min - 3pm, Fri, 2nd May

0.65Mbps Max - 5am, Wed, 28th May

=== Latency ===

31.70ms Average

13.65ms Min - 7pm, Mon, 5th May

105.48ms Max - 8pm, Thu, 29th May

=== Packet Loss ===

0.04% Average

0.00% Min - 12am, Thu, 1st May

2.94% Max - 8pm, Thu, 29th May

I haven't taken thew time to view the details of the underlying data, but it would be interesting to notice when the service quality does drop off.

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Fatman
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Re: TWCable

Last year, Brighthouse announced two rate increases for the tier that I was getting.

One was a small increase in the charge for the service; the other was the imposition of a new monthly modem rental fee, for a cheap piece of shit modem.

I did the math, and figured out it was cheaper for me to get rid of their piece of shit modem, and replace it. When I checked their web page for 'supported modems', I noticed very few DOCSIS 3.0 modems were supported.

Their piece of shit used to require many resets when it 'got confused', the DOCSIS 3.0 capable replacement has been rock solid. I went with a DOCSIS 3.0 modem right out of the gate, because I did not want ot have to replace it <whenever> BHN decided to force a 'consumer premises equipment' upgrade; and you know those corporate assholes would do it.

BTW, BHN, fix your email issues yet??? Thank $DEITY I don't use your email servers, otherwise I would be shit out of luck. ( http://www.floridatoday.com/story/money/business/2014/06/12/bright-house-customers-report-email-problems/10385097/ )

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Yet another reason to skip commercials: Microsoft ad TURNS ON your Xbox One

Fatman
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Re: I disagree

It also recognizes if I'm giving them and ignores them if it's my wife speaking.

Very smart device.

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