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* Posts by Fatman

1438 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

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SDI wars: WTF is software defined infrastructure?

Fatman
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RE: Why do all of this yourself when you can consume from a public provider ?

I won't repeat the comments made by another poster regarding some of the drawbacks of The Cloud&reg.

But, I must ask, what School of Damagement did you graduate from?

Because if you accept the following as a 'reasonable' definition of Damagement, then I feel it may describe you to a Tee:

Damagement: A person in a position of authority in an entity who makes decisions outside of their training and/or expertise that have the potential to be extremely detrimental upon said entity; and does so, disregarding the opinions of those who "know better" just because the decision maker is in that position of authority.

You espouse jumping into the cloud, "putting all of your eggs into one basket". $DEITY, I would not want to be you when the sledgehammer shatters those eggs, and they end up on your face.

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FBI boss: We don't want a backdoor, we want the front door to phones

Fatman
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WTF?

RE: How about asking the congress to represent the citizens.

That will never happen.

Congress is completely bought and paid for by the special interests.

BTW, where did you get that idea? Out of a 100 year old high school civics textbook?

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Fatman
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RE: Stop spying on us, assholes!

... before you know it this could get abused to the point of monitor people who've committed the heinous act of running a stop light ...

I guess then you have never heard of RED LIGHT CAMERAS?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_light_camera

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Fatman
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Re: Comey:

You sir are either an fucking idiot or a New World Order thug...

FTFY

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Fatman
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Re: What a fuckbag

Eloquently put. Have an up-vote.

Add one from me also.

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Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

Fatman
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Re: 10 years

I for one would like to see more research put into fusion power. If and when it can be made to work, it's a civilization-wide game-changer.

Which will stir the vested interests to stop this as quickly as they can. Nothing provokes action in a sloth-like (energy) oligopoly than an upstart who invented a better mouse trap. Wait for the vested interests to start their FUD campaigns.

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Microsoft, Docker bid to bring Linux-y containers to Windows: What YOU need to know

Fatman
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WTF?

RE: I remember the days when you had to mount the CD drive...

Oh yeah? I remember the day when we had to get up early and pre-heat the Olivetti so that at around 10:00 one could boot MS-DOS from a gigantic floppy (HIMEM.SYS: Unable to load) .

Goddamn, you were LUCKY!

I remember the days of sitting at the front panel, setting the switches to load the boot code which then dragged the IPL from the paper tape.

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Microsoft left red-faced after DMCAs dished out to Windows bloggers

Fatman
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RE: Sony is forbidden in my household as well.

Mine too!!!!

Now, as to Microsoft, well, I did purchase a new desktop a few years ago, and it did have WindblowZE pre-installed on it; but a new hard drive, and a Linux Live CD cured that problem.

The OEM hard drive was disconnected from the motherboard, and placed in the static bag from the new one, and a bio-hazard sticker (thanks to my Dr's office assistant for one) was used to seal it shut. While I am using the PC, it just sits in the case. Some day, when I finally decide to dispose of it, I will reconnect it back to the motherboard, and keep my Linux hard drive. Some lucky bastard will get a PC with a pre-installed WindblowZE 7 that was never used.

Meanwhile, another malware magnet is prevented from corrupting the internet.

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Kill off SSL 3.0 NOW: HTTPS savaged by vicious POODLE

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Aw, c'mon!

I can't believe no-one has commented on how SSL is continually dogged by security issues....

/ Baddum-dum-tush! Yeah, suck it up, I'm here all week!

Well, I guess you earned your paycheck this week!

</snark>

PS: Mr Nadela wants to see both you and Loverock Davidson in his office first thing tomorrow. Something about a new assignment.

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Remember that tale of a fired accountant who blamed Comcast? It's kinda true, says telco

Fatman
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Joke

Re: an accounting firm should be exacting and not allow typos in their public statements.

I see what you did there????

I would do the same thing when I had to write a check to the Infernal Revenue Service.

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NASA: Mars satellites menaced by speeding SPACE ALIEN

Fatman
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RE: artists renditions of comments flying through space

Do you mean something like brown matter flying from the face of a rotating impeller?

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WOMEN, your 'SUPERPOWER' is ... NOT asking for a RAISE: Satya Nadella

Fatman
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RE: "Why ask for more money when you can just get "karma" instead?"

Because karma doesn't pay the fucking bills!

I can't go to my local electric utility and pay them in 'karma'; they want ("borrowing" from Jackson Browne) 'legal tender'. Duke Puke energy doesn't give a shit about 'karma'. (See below:)

http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/energy/duke-energy-says-it-erred-in-meter-malfunction-that-nearly-cost-company/2197835

http://www.indystar.com/story/news/2014/10/07/duke-energy-misreported-credit-information-thousands-hoosiers/16864605/

http://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/duke-energy-gltich-may-hurt-your-credit-score

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Fatman
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RE "Hard" working bosses

Mind you, theoretically the bosses should be paid by the amount of work they actually do compared to the amount the employees do.

If that were ever to be applied to the sales weasels at my WROK PALCE, then some of them would have to take on second jobs (too much time out on the golf course, out playing tennis, etc).

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Fatman
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Re: Oh Noes!

The twenty-first century phrase is " be glad you have a job" "we have to cut costs in order to increase shareholder value".

FTFY!!

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Hey, non-US websites – FBI don't have to show you any stinkin' warrant

Fatman
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Joke

RE: In other words...

flimsier than anything any normal person would dare claim a sheet of single ply toilet tissue.

FTFY!!

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Windows 10's 'built-in keylogger'? Ha ha, says Microsoft – no, it just monitors your typing

Fatman
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Re: All the more reason...

(or migrate to Linux).

I did that a few years ago.

But, nevertheless, as a favor to a friend, I downloaded the preview on my linux box.

No sooner than when the download was completed, a pop up appeared warning me that malware had been downloaded to my machine, and I was prompted to delete it.

My linux box, trying to protect my sensitive data from that malware called "Windows".

</sarcasm>

</snark>

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'Conscious uncoupling' of HP 'Ink', HP Enterprise: It's the shareholders, stupid

Fatman
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Unhappy

Re: please tell me how this works....

There is this train of thought that when multiple operating divisions compete for the limited available "capital resources", someone gets the shaft. And by "capital resources", I am referring to the funding of R&D, product development, marketing, etc. One operating division may be propping up some of the others, leading to executive resentment. ("I am sick and tired of supporting Joe Blow's divisions' losses" mentality.)

By splitting the company into two, each is responsible for only itself. But, your points about staff and manglement are quite spot on.

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Fatman
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Re: More bad HP news

Sadly it seems to be another (final) nail in the coffin for a once great company. It raises questions on whether or not the quality of their products will drop or if the products will exist or be supported at all in future for either section. Think this will probably mean we'll drop HP kit all together, they keep on changing their minds about things and I don't think they'll change that any time soon.

BTDT, HP has been on our do not buy list for some time; and it is not likely to be removed in the near future. This announcement does not change that decision one bit.

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AT&T fires insider for slurping customers' social security numbers, driver licenses and more

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Rules? Guidelines...?

1. Tie rogue staffer to pole

2. Summon people whose information he viewed.

3. Hand out numbered tokens to victims.

4. Draw winning number.

5. Give lucky victim a katana.

6. Lucky victim gives perpetrator a quick gender change (perpetrator is highly likely to be male).

7. Proceed to nearest pub.

8. Celebrate!!!

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Yahoo servers? SHELLSHOCKED? by Bash?

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Bash is Bollocks for security

Is that YOU, Loverock Davidson???

ZDNet readers know who I am referring to.

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Marriott fined $600k for deliberate JAMMING of guests' Wi-Fi hotspots

Fatman
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Joke

RE: "Steer traffic to added-value services"

NOW you get how Marriott manglement expects to increase shareholder value.

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Fatman
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Joke

Re: Marriott's response is amazing.

but it'd be great if (1) the FCC had nailed their ass to the wall

You can't do that to the JOB CREATORS!!!!! (or so says those of a certain "political persuasion").

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What the 4K: High-def DisplayPort vid meets reversible USB Type C

Fatman
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Re: Yes, a sham

I've seen short ethernet cables for $20, even 30 or $40. Unbelievable.

IIRC, Denon is selling a gold cat-5 audio patch cable for something like $500 US. (Yes, FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS!!!)

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Reg readers respond: Yes, it's time for Comment of the Week

Fatman
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Joke

IVR choices

ONLY if you have set it up IMproperly!

>3<

"That is an invalid choice!"

>1<

"That is an invalid choice!"

>2<

"That is an invalid choice!"

is an example of setting one up properly.

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Home Depot ignored staff warnings of security fail laundry list

Fatman
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Joke

Re: senior managers should be fired immediately

Nah!!!

If they would have done this at my company. they would have been launched on a new career trajectory from the Trebuchet on the roof. The prized landing spot (at least in the common man's POV) is the cactus patch about 150 feet away.

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Mushy spam law's IDEAL for toothless watchdog: Spamhaus slams CAN-SPAM

Fatman
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Stop

Re: Zero enforcement in the UK

RE: Asterisk

I have only taken a cursory look at it, can you set up policies for blacklisting incoming phone numbers?

i.e. If CallerID happens to belong to a previously blacklisted spammer, then "sinkhole" the call. I would be curious to know if that were possible. ICON tells why---------------------------->

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Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought

Fatman
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FAIL

Another loss for Sony

Sony shares dropped more than eight per cent today after the firm warned that it expects losses for this year to be four times as bad as it previously predicted.

Time to unload that dog if you are a shareholder.

Do you really want to be in a similar predicament as the current stockholders of HP? (with incompetent managemen at the helmt?)

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Hackers pop Brazil newspaper to root home routers

Fatman
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Re: Apple on the brain much?

Methinks somebody has been writing about Apple products a tad too much lately.

Or drank a gallon of cider lately!

</snark>

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Yawn, Wikileaks, we already knew about FinFisher. But these software binaries...

Fatman
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Re: Malware

So which AV vendor will be the first to De-Whitelist this?

Not one of them, as "De-Whitelisting" this would revoke their "NSA certified" malware scanner status.

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

Fatman
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RE:... hey this looks like something out of a BOFH episode.

What WOULD make the BOFH proud would be able to intercept the stream from the 'print payroll job', and make some necessary changes, those that increase his pay, and those that diminish the boss' pay.

This could really stump the bean counters.

"Shit, the (payroll) numbers are right, but why do the checks came out WRONG?"

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FTC: We didn't robocall you and thousands of others asking for bank details. IT'S A TRAP!

Fatman
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Stopping these scammers...

...can only be accomplished by the insertion of a .357 hollow point into the back of the head.

Anything else does not amount to much of a deterrent.

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Verizon hit with $7.4 MEEELLION fine for slurping users' privates

Fatman
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Re: Verizon is making damned sure everyone knows they hate their customers

Why are you in business Verizon?

<snark>

"Verizon is a premier supplier of telecommunications services worldwide to both commercial and residential customers. Verizon takes great pride in supplying the best service it can provide fleecing its customers at every opportunity it recognizes 24/7/365.

Verizon respects the privacy rights of its customers, and it respects ignores the opt-out rights of those customers. In our attempt to provide these outstanding services to our customers, we may from time to time, contact customers with promotional materials detailing our service offerings spam existing and potentially new customers with junk mail detailing the shallow services we provide, and the exorbitant prices we charge for them.

Verizon wants to be your only telecommunications services supplier, and Verizon takes its corporate responsibilities seriously challengers to its monopoly status seriously and Verizon will take those steps necessary utilize any and all means necessary to insure its monopoly status to carry out its mission to provide excellence in customer service increase shareholder value.

</snark>

BTW, the stricken text is likely what you might have heard from the PR droids at Verizon, the emphasized text is more likely the real answer to your question.

Lastly, a simple request, upvote this if you agree. Thanks.

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Look out: The Far Eastern white-box boys are coming for EVERYONE

Fatman
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Re: Gartner

We, as in most of the readers of el'Reg, probably won't however PHBs have a nasty habit of believing them.

The "problem" with PHB's is this:

They are so full of bullshit, they have become desensitized to its smell; that they no longer recognize bullshit when they smell it.

You and I, still have our keen sense of smell, and know the smell of bullshit 'well'.

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NASA to reformat Opportunity rover's memory from 125 million miles away

Fatman
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Re: Even though they're highly skilled at that...

...and have done it with the MER rovers several times with no problems, the idea of optimizing and reformatting a system from 125 million miles out scares the hell out of me, when I think of the times a simple OS update on my desktop has blown up in my face.

Or the poor thing is stuck there for eternity with "Press any key to continue" on its console.

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BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

Fatman
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Bean counters can drive you to drink.

My boss (and, I have nicknamed her Princess because she is a joy to work for) has had her share of encounters with the company's bean counters over "the IT asset list".

Much of the aggravation comes from her insistence to maintain some really old, hard to obtain shit, in the slim as hell chance that we MAY just need that shit in the future. To reduce the value of this shit, once she has EOLed the base asset, anything it may have contained that could be useful is given an slightly new asset number. These asset numbers are constructed of the original asset number followed by a suffix, and those parts are assigned a 'value' of only $1.00. (only in 'Merika). The remainder is expensed.

One year, a junior bean counter that was never read into this practice, gave her some serious shit, and started to demand answers. Princess is usually a well mannered person, but the attitude of the junior bean counter nearly sent her over the edge. She looked the bean counter straight in the eye, and pointed to the katana that hangs from the wall behind her desk, and inquired of the junior bean counter if he wanted to experience its use first hand. Fortunately, for the junior bean counter, he declined.

Princess had a lot of pull within the company, (I didn't know it at the time, but she is a part owner) so she made damn sure the bean counter's NEXT annual performance review was less than stellar. The first 'lesson' imparted on me when I started here was: "DO NOT piss Princess off, or else she will have your head." I think I know where all of this comes from, on a shelf in the bookcase behind her is prominently displayed: "Winning Through Intimidation". I believe she practices it as often as is necessary.

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

Fatman
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Coat

Re: This topic

Might these suffice? (WARNING NSFW and definitely NSAW (Not Safe Around Women)).

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/jfeKEq56fKc/0.jpg

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/chybMnfbih0/0.jpg

I was looking for the one of that Brazilian soccer player who has such a 'perfect ass', but I can't find it.

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Researchers camouflage haxxor traps with fake application traffic

Fatman
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Re: Historically sound practices

Given that deception has an as yet undefined ROI I guess it may be a harder sell to the bean counters, but corporate lawyers help with estimated costs and impact of a breach.

That is the crux of the problem - the dammed bean counters. Typical of manglement, they can't comprehend the value of misdirection and deception. Their little minds do not have the computing capacity.

I have always wondered how much 'trouble' you might get 'in to' if you set up a honeypot and used sufficient bait, that when opened or executed on a hacker's machine would poison it. Think of handing your friendly hacker a cyanide pill for his computer. Would you get into 'trouble' if you left something that tempting just lay out there in a folder with a 'juicy name' (like patent registrations, "legal" strategies, etc)?

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Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Fatman
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RE: But it is indeed mysterious why Microsoft thought it would make sense on a desktop.

Because some ID10T in marketing thought that touch was a brilliant idea after he drank a gallon of MS Kool-Aid.

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Time Warner Cable customers SQUEAL as US network goes offline

Fatman
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Re: They aren't very big on redundancy...

The market executive suite has spoken. The market executive suite wants cheap, not reliable more money for the executive bonus pool.

FTFY!

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Judge nixes HP deal for director amnesty after $8.8bn Autonomy snafu

Fatman
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Re: Buying HP

At the moment buying any HP product for critical services looks like a stupid idea.

When this shit hit the fan, my forward thinking boss put HP on the do not buy list, as she expected HP to disappear go down in flames; and she didn't want unsupported kit at our company. Can't blame her for that.

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Fatman
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FAIL

RE: Re: Sorry HP, there are two sides to every purchase

It find it absolutely fascinating that the HP board has not expressed even the smallest inclination to demand answers from Deloitte & Touche so I cannot help but wonder what Deloitte & Touche have on them...

I must wonder, is there grounds for criminal charges for breach of fiduciary duty that could be filed against HP's manglement and BoD??

The most appropriate icon for HP's manglement and BoD. ------------------------------------------->

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BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Fatman
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Joke

RE: I don't call a spade a spade. I call it a BLT -- Beancounter Liberation Tool.

I think I will use the weekend hours to acquire one of those since I have an unappreciative beancounter to deal with next week Tuesday.

I must admit, it is a perfect double use tool, first to liberate the beancounter from their self afflicted disease (of counting beans), and then second, covering up the evidence of said liberation.

I think I will put that beancounter under the slab that is being poured for the generator system that the beancounter fought against. ("It will deplete the executive bonus pool!") Perfect karma.

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SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk

Fatman
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Re: Just a test

All their components will have an engineered envelope in which to work, so all they need is the data from the sensors. If that data goes outside the envelope the thing will break.

I could have told them that.

Perhaps their goal was to see how far outside the envelope it can be pushed before the thing broke.

I am fairly certain that it helps to have some idea of how much 'safety margin' you actually have in a design, as you develop it.

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Supervalu supermarket stores stung by sneaky sales system scammers

Fatman
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C level culpability

"As in the Target case, the board should fire both the CEO and the senior IT management that allowed this to occur for gross negligence. Technology and processes exist to eliminate this class of problem, but the CEO chose not to or could not implement them due to lack of knowledge or will."

You forgot the real reason: "Security costs money, and that comes out of my bonus."

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Know what Ferguson city needs right now? It's not Anonymous doxing random people

Fatman
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Re: In Amerika

Since 9/11, the terrorists have won.

Unfortunately, these terrorists wear badges.

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Hackers' Paradise: The rise of soft options and the demise of hard choices

Fatman
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Re: Default deny

Windows Vista says "Hi!".

DAMMIT MAN, you beat me to it!!!!

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Naughty NSA was so drunk on data it forgot collection rules

Fatman
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Re: Any consequences?

You asked:

Have those responsible within the NSA had to suffer consequences for those breaches? What exactly? Anyone fined? Fired? Imprisoned?

THERE WILL BE NO CONSEQUENCES FOR ANYONE, THEY WERE SIMPLY DOING THEIR JOBS

Do you honestly expect the government to hang its lawbreaking snoops out to dry?

It will NEVER happen.

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HP says it will sue former Autonomy CFO Sushovan Hussein

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Autonomy aren't saints either

HP brought Autonomy for US$11.1 billion when it was valued at around US$6.2 billion (a 79% premium) had conducted due-diligence and found no major issues and then wrote it down by US$8.8 billion.

So THAT'S how you increase shareholder value!!!!!!

I honestly though it was a recipe for bankrupting a company.

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Fatman
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Re: I bet there are part numbers for each...

Sure are:

FUCKED UP CEO 1

FUCKED UP CEO 2

FUCKED UP CEO 3

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Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Wow .. It's not their money at risk, it's the shareholders after all.

Excellent point, and until the shareholders find some collective balls, and dump the BoD and the executive suite; they will continue to get fucked over.

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