* Posts by Fatman

1605 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

It’s 2015 and we're being told not to send credit cards as cleartext

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Now someone tell the banks

If your little old merchant is expected to abide by these rules, why cant the banks?

BECAUSE the expense doesn't increase shareholder value!!!

</snark>

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What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Fatman
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Focusing Manglement

My usual answer to such is "Do you want me to talk about fixing it, or do you want me to actually just fix it and we can then discuss it later?" I usually find that focuses the mind, even of managers.

Sorry, but I don't agree with you.

The only way to focus a mangler in such situations is the judicious use of a clue-by-four to the head of such mangler. (Or if your name is Simon, you might use a cattleprod, instead.)

Hopefully, with them reeling from that assault, you have time to 'fix things'. Then, you may have to get your resume in order, unless there is a mangler higher up in the corporate org chart that gets it and sends the inane mangler packing.

I am lucky to have a boss that knows that when the shit hits the fan, she does her best to stay out of our hair until things are fixed. Then comes the debriefing, and finger pointing.

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New racks, cables for aging and neglected data centres

Fatman
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Joke

RE: I Spy an OKIData dot matrix printer in there!

Still holding the last 2K of the report that caused the head carriage to jam; sitting all the while for someone to come in and un-jam it.

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

"Will someone EVER fix me?"

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FCC boss Wheeler: Shove off, big dogs – let the small telcos play

Fatman
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Re: Wheeler is the surprise hero.

Perhaps for an encore he may try to mandate it on landlines?

Never happen - the telcos have the FCC chair on his (financial) leash, and if he tries to ram things through; they will jerk him back in line, like most punters would do with a disobedient dog.

I mean, he isn't planning to stay with the FCC for the rest of his career, now is he?? Can't fuck up the post-FCC career opportunities, now would he?

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10 things you need to avoid SNAFUs in your data centre

Fatman
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Re: And a crowbar

For the aftermath of those pesky resonance cascade scenarios.

No, for use on overbearing manglers who peer over your shoulder and whine about the 'downtime'.

One good whack, and their attitude is adjusted.

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Fatman
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Re: my ha'penny

At a regional progress review meeting a senior HMRC manager had a major strop about public money being used to provide breakfast for contractors.

Was that mangler named Ima. Grouche, by any chance?

Does she bear any resemblance to Rosa Klebb??? (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502322/?ref_=tt_cl_t4)

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It begins: Time Warner Cable first ISP accused of breaking America's net neutrality rules

Fatman
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WTF?

I SWEAR, some of you guys just don't GET this!!!!

After reading the complaint, and the exhibit, I believe that I do.

So, allow me to take a stab at it:

1) His company (Commercial Network Services) has a service which customers of TWC want to access.

2) His company touches the TWC network at THREE1 places where it is possible to DIRECTLY peer with TWC.

3) TWC says (basically) "Fuck NO, unless YOU PAY!!!" If you want to peer FOR FREE with TWC, then use these increased latency peering links.

4) He says:"Hold on TWC, that's a violation of the FCC rules.I am complaining."

Now the ball is in the FCC's court.

tl;dr version: My company provides a service that your customers want, and we both have a presence at three different locations. Connecting ME to YOU is almost as simple a connecting a patch cable from my rack to yours. But, NO, you greedy fuckers want me to run my traffic around the world first, unless I pay YOU. Sound about right???

1 Any2 Los Angeles, NYIIX, and Equinix NYC

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Oi! 'Hands off America's Wi-Fi spectrum' yells, er, the cable lobby

Fatman
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Re: What's the point?

So LTE-U will only get to use that spectrum for people very close (probably not much more than 100m) to the tower. Seems like they'd be better off focusing their efforts elsewhere.

Chew on this for a second.

If $TELCO can offline its traffic onto consumer broadband via the use of WiFi in SOHO routers and get that traffic off their networks, why would they NOT want to get THAT FREE LUNCH????

Are they NOT crying the spectrum shortage blues???? ("Look at all of those 'data hogs', our 3G and 4G systems are SWAMPED!!!!")

Food for thought.

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This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Completely and utterly bonkers

Imagine if he'd used valves...

There are several examples of those monstrosities around.

Here is a list:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_vacuum_tube_computers

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UK.gov loses crucial battle in home-taping war with musicians

Fatman
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Joke

Re: I'm in favour of a pool

Make sure it contains battery acid, not water.

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It's OK – this was an entirely NEW type of cockup, says RBS

Fatman
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Re: Oh yes it is

Sorry, but all it takes is money and effort.

Which does not sit well with the increased shareholder value crowd.

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Fatman
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Re: du -sh

ever-improving technology STILL can't defend itself against a comma in the wrong bloody place.

At least it wasn't a semi-colon!!!!

(And, NO, I am not going to post a link to that fuck-up, you go find it.)

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Linus Torvalds asks kernel devs to take a break so he can too

Fatman
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Joke

RE: Ballmer....

since Ballmer was excreted from the twitching and moist colon of Microsoft.

YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD!!!!

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Microsoft picks up shotgun, walks 'Modern apps' behind the shed

Fatman
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WTF?

Moving On...

Nah, I reckon they will jump ship and move to the Unity and Gnome 3 camps.

They'll feel at home there.

Unity: WHO gives a fuck

Gnome 3: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

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That's right: FBI agents can't pretend to be ISP repairmen to search homes without a warrant

Fatman
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RE: Breaking the law...

The only problem is that that law does not specify any penalties for transgression, hence there is really very little disincentive for the government and its agencies to respect it. They are free to keep pushing the limits and outright breaking them.

...

BUT, they do not get to break those laws enshrined in the constitution because those laws are above and beyond the laws enacted by the states or by Congress as they are explicitly there to limit what those bodies can do.

...

If having being caught abusing children disqualifies you from being a teacher (and it should) then being caught breaking the laws of the Constitution should disqualify you from being a law enforcement agent.

Time for Feds to spend some quality time BEHIND BARS!!!!

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Has marketing grabbed the IT reins at your company?

Fatman
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RE: Sacked IT staff

Just recently a VP in the business branch of the corporate I work for sacked an IT team that supported a business unit under him in a cost-cutting effort, leaving the technology side of the business absolutely gobsmacked as we hadn't been consulted on the move.

Time for you and the rest of the IT staff to get your resumes in order.

Let the increased shareholder value buffoons run the IT dept.

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Net neutrality starts this Friday! Kinda! Sorta! It's a little complicated ...

Fatman
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Joke

"Behind the scenes manouvering"

Just remember boys and girls:

Money TALKS and Bullshit Walks

The telcos are NOT done talking yet.

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Undetectable NSA-linked hybrid malware hits Intel Security radar

Fatman
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Re: If it was truly firmware?

And if there is a bug in the firmware, how is it fixed?

EASY, put the firmware chip in a socket, to 'fix', replace the chip in the socket with the fixed version.

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HP coughs up $100 MEEELLION to settle Autonomy lawsuit

Fatman
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FAIL

HP pays out

This only goes to reinforce my belief that HP actually stands for

Hopelessly

Pathetic.

So, did I choose the correct icon for this post? Or would this one be more appropriate:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/joke_32.png

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Private cloud is NOT dead – and for one good reason: Control of data

Fatman
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Re: The first rule of hype is to think of a sexy name

Sounds a great idea until the company you outsourced it to goes pop, or you find your American/Chinese competitors that assorted spy agencies also have access.

FTFY!!!

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Fatman
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Joke

Re: Head in clouds...

Its when you dumb ass management who buy into bullshit from sales people without understanding the risks...

Ah, the joys of MANGLEMENT!!!!!!

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Fatman
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Re: Paranoid...

You have described my boss!

ANYONE who even hints at the (public) Cloudtm is subject to summary execution (aka a FIRING).

As long as she is in charge of IT, it will never happen. All of us want to sleep well at night.

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One USB plug to rule them all? That's sensible, but no...

Fatman
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Re: Not just scart, Also RS232.

Oh, $DEITY, you have brought back memories of interfacing RS-232 serial equipment with compatible plugs.

Is that fucking thing wired DCE or DTE? Did they use the proper gender on the plug and socket?

What a fucking mess, and I am so glad that serial RS-232 has gone away.

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Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

Fatman
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Linux

RE: `new features for desktop users` : Really!!!!

That said, the upgrade is potentially more compelling for Windows 7 users than Windows 8 was, thanks to new features for desktop users (including multiple desktops)

Something Linux has had for years!!!!!

Give me a break!!!!

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Why voice and apps sometimes don't beat an old-fashioned knob

Fatman
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Re: IoT

Aren't you missing some letters??

As in

idIoT???

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What scares you most about ‘the cloud’?

Fatman
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Re: 2 thumbs down in just a few minutes!

Your(sic) about as bright as a dull burnt out light bulb..

FTFY!!!

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Fumbling Feds lose control of seized MegaUpload domains – to saucy vid slingers

Fatman
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WTF?

Re: Lost goods

Not exactly, Dot.Com lost his MegaUpload assets in a civil forfeiture case, not a criminal one.

Civil forfeiture laws in the ole USofA have been abused by the cops and prosecutors to the point where guilt or innocence doesn't matter. Those fuckers are going to take your toys away, and there is shit you can do about it. In some communities, the police do civil forfeiture on TRAFFIC offenses just to pad their budgets.

Worthless BASTARDS!!!

example: http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/investigations/2015/01/14/brandes-pitching-changes-to-civil-forfeiture-noah-pransky/21705495/

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AT&T, Verizon and pals eat own head in effort to kill off net neutrality

Fatman
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Joke

RE: The USTelcom effort to prevent new net neutrality rules from taking effect

What is going on here??

In order to get the gubmint to do what I want, I ask them to do the exact opposite.

Those fuckers must have recently read some George Orwell.

IIRC - "double plus ungood???" (Shit it was so LONG ago I forgot the exact quote!)

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NASA picks tools for voyage to possibly LIFE-SUPPORTING moon Europa

Fatman
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Re: I'd like to see life....

And when we finally encounter a superior species, they say to us:

"You dumb fuckers, you can't even live in harmony amongst your own kind, and NOW you want to play in OUR BACK YARD??? Get back on your own rock, and stay there until you learn to play nice with one another. Maybe then you can play in OUR BACK YARD once you have grown up!!!!!"

Anyone care to characterize the politician's reactions?

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Fatman
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Re: Again with the solar power...

You KNOW the REAL reason why they will not use an RTG, don't you????

(Hint Nuclear power is not politically correct, and this stinks of a politically correct decision making process.)

I still remember all of the noise and the big fucking waste of time the enviro-wankers put up over the launch of previous RTG powered probes.

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Shuttleworth delivers death blow in Umbongoland dispute

Fatman
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RE: Stallman were to tell Torvalds that he was no longer the head of the kernel dev team

No, it's more like if Torvalds told someone that if he didn't smarten up he would get booted off the list of people allowed to use Linux kernel infrastructure and would have all his pull requests rejected. Which is exactly what happened to one of the Systemd developers not that long ago (as reported in El Reg).

I wonder who that was????

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FCC to crack down on robocall spammers' beloved loophole

Fatman
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Joke

Blocking Robocalls

I hate to say this - it is a complete waste of time when you are dealing with offshore companies.

The rules simply do not apply to them, and they know it.

Beyond summary execution of the offending scammers involved, there really is no way to stop them. And execution is not much of a deterrent, when you 'waste' one scammer, another crawls our from under its rock to take the place of the newly departed. You are just playing "whack-a-mole", and expending energy in a vain effort to eradicate them.

FTC/FCC fines are just a cost of doing business.

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EXT4 filesystem can EAT ALL YOUR DATA

Fatman
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WTF?

RE: Those Bright Young Things

They are working to make Linux more like Windows .

Now that would not be a backhanded jab at the developers of systemd, now would it????

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That DRM support in Firefox you never asked for? It's here

Fatman
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DRM 'support'

Windows XP, OS X, Linux, and 64-bit versions of Firefox are not yet supported, and there's no word yet on when they might be.

NEVER would be the best option!!!

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WikiLeaks, er, leaks the Bundestag Inquiry into NSA naughtiness

Fatman
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Re: Hmm...

Simple answer, which you can understand here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plausible_deniability

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FTC slaps orders on alleged diet pill spamvertising scam scum

Fatman
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Re: Youlgreave

At least I wasn't the only one.

I guess I wasn't either....

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ALIEN HUNT: Water similar to life-bearing Earth lakes FOUND ON MOON of Saturn

Fatman
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Re: Serpentinization

I, for one, am sick of these motherf*ing snakes on this motherf*ing moon!!

I gave you an upvote because of the movie reference, only.

but wild speculation about life on a planet is tantamount to click-bait.

Proof that life can exist elsewhere would be a 'game changer', as life on Earth would not longer be considered unique; it would likely to be the most significant discovery of the past 2000 years (IMHO).

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Fat cable bods Comcast belch contentedly, stroke bulging broadband belly

Fatman
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Comcrap bails

Score one for the consumer, who would have been fucked over if this merger had been allowed to complete.

I could think of a few past 'mergers' that should be disemboweled (NBC/Universal for one).

It is about time that the Feds started putting the brakes on corporate greed.

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HP lifts lid on Autonomy lawsuit claims, but Lynch cries BOLLOCKS

Fatman
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Re: Correct me if I'm wrong but when you *buy* a company

You get to dig deep into the other firms accounts.

Most certainly someone does, whether it is the acquirer directly, or an accounting firm hired to perform the diligence, you do get to dive deep into the books. A truly competent purchaser wants to know exactly WHAT they are buying.

My employer bought up a family owned company a few years ago, and since the children of the owners had authority to act on behalf of the underlying corporation; we looked hard at any and all contracts that they may have signed.

Once we had an understanding on a purchase, we required, as a matter of the purchase, to have ALL EMPLOYEES disclose any and all employment contracts that they had with the company. This included the children of the owners. Since they were not aware of the pending sale, they indicated in their disclosures that no such contracts existed. The other aspect of the understanding was that the sellers were to revoke the authority of the children to sign any employment related contracts during the diligence period. They were not told why.

Sale closes, and we decide that it would be a Good Thing(tm) to put into place our own management, so we dismissed them. Cue the lawsuits for "contractually agreed upon severance benefits" when they pulled these 'severance agreements' out of their asses. "See you in court." was our reply.

First one of the kiddies on the stand, made an attempt to persuade the judge that he should get severance benefits; was completely blown out of the water when the disclosure document was put in front of him (apparently he forgot about it). His lawyer tried to get the judge to rule that he had the authority to sign such a contract, but that was also blown out of the water when the stockholder resolution revoking the authority was introduced as evidence. Wisely, the children dropped all efforts to recover their 'severance pay'.

Meanwhile, our auditors were reviewing all expenses of the company to determine if any company funds were not misused, and one could make the case that payment of household utility bills out of company funds (and booking them as usual and customary business expenses) was misuse. After re-filing the tax returns showing all of those funds as 'executive benefits' (subject tp being reported on a 1099 form) instead occupancy expenses; they became serial tax evaders. Cue the letters from the IRS.

Payback is a bitch, isn't it?

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Borg boosts future cable broadband biz with DOCSIS 3.1 boxen

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Lil' Sparky

Has the author ever even seen a coaxial cable?

More likely, some editor (if those people still exist at ElReg) chose the wrong pix.

Agree with the icon, so I duplicated it.

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Mounties nab Canadian woman, 27, in webcam hack shenanigans bust

Fatman
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RE: a bad prank

Put her in a cell and put the key somewhere nice and safe for a while weld the fucking door shut.

FTFY!!!

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Tesla reveals Powerwall battery packs for homes, Powerpacks for cities

Fatman
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Re: 4,192 KWh

Some states like Florida get so much it beggars belief that solar isn't the primary source of power.

There is a simple answer: A Bought and Paid For State Legislature

SHIT, we are still paying for a nuke plant that will NEVER be built.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/energy/duke-energy-to-cancel-proposed-levy-county-nuclear-plant-fasano-says/2134287

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Who thinks Microsoft Edge SUCKS? Erm, Microsoft

Fatman
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Re: Edge Logo

SHIT!!!!

Here I thought that Microsoft would use something more descriptive of the informal name many have given to IE - Internet ExploDer.

How's this for an icon:

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs50/i/2009/336/5/2/Mushroom_Cloud_by_Wittman80.jpg

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Boeing 787 software bug can shut down planes' generators IN FLIGHT

Fatman
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Joke

Re: from memory

A vanilla install of Windows NT (tm) with no patch or network connection ( nor keyboard or mouse, btw) would self crash after 248 days...

So THAT is what those GCU's are running on????

You would think a company like Boeing could use a newer version of the O/S???

</sarcasm>

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Fatman
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WTF?

Re: So...Garbage from Non-Aviators

Both the programmer team and the test team should be in front of the leather top desk :-) taken out behind the woodshed, and...(you fill in the blank)

FTFY

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Today, the US govt must explain why its rules on shutting down whole cell networks are a secret

Fatman
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Re: Baltimore...

Any evidence this was used there?

Damn good question.

Cops just HATE it when you can shed light on their violating your civil rights. After all, "if you did nothing wrong..." only works when it is in THEIR favor.

WRT the looting, pillaging and burning of homes and businesses; I hate to say this, but that is completely counter-productive. "Throwing your toys out of the pram" (I hope I have it right) is not conducive to getting your point across; it merely gets you dismissed as a bunch of anarchists.

The cops DO NEED to be sent a message - one being that you can not expect to shit all over people on a regular basis, and not expect blowback. Much of what is going on in the USofA can be traced to the militarization of the police, and the use of SWAT tactics without good reason. When cops begin to act like thugs with badges, they lose ALL respect.

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ServiceMesh man Eric Pulier resigns from CSC amid bribery claims

Fatman
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So???

Pulier left after it was revealed he allegedly paid bribes to executives at Australia's Commonwealth Bank

In MANY parts of the world, such payments (often called bribes) are considered 'good business practices". In the "Land of the Free" (aka the USofA) the same practice is called campaign contributions; and since the SCOTUS has decreed that Corporations have "Free Speech Rights", their campaign contributions do a lot of talking.

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Imation board and CEO get desperate ahead of May 20 AGM

Fatman
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Poor Shareholders...

YOU elected this BoD, so collectively, you have no one to blame but yourselves.

The smart shareholders who did see the handwriting on the wall sold out already!!!

The wiser amongst you will put in an inquiry to the Clinton Group, and determine if they are interested in guying you out, after which it will no longer be your headache. With enough shares owned outright, and sufficient proxy votes, then the Clinton Group can send Imation's maximizing shareholder value Damagers on their way. That would be good riddance.

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Watch out for the products that have snuck in behind your back

Fatman
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RE: Bypassing IT (especially when you are a part of IT)

Having bypassed my own IT department I can now surprise my business users by delivering software next month rather than the next year or never delivery date they have come to expect.

You can thank $DEITY that you do NOT work for my employer, because my boss would have stuffed your ass into the Trebuchet sling, and sent you on a new career trajectory!

Cow boys like you can work elsewhere!

It is bad enough that IT must deal with the sales weasels who always try to get ShIT past us, but to have one of our own do it; that is unforgivable. Here is your PINK SLIP. DO NOT allow the door to hit you on your way out!

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Watch: Nasty JPEG pops corporate locks on Windows boxes

Fatman
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Re: So he did a live hack into a government server?

I bet he is learning new stress positions at Club Gitmo, courtesy of the Land of the Free Government Bought and Paid For by Special Interests.

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