* Posts by Fatman

1652 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

BOFH: An architect and his own entirely avoidable downfall

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: I wonder...

<quote>One of the partners thought that the IT department was also the janitorial staff. Kept asking us to clean the kitchen, take out the office trash, the final straw was when she asked me, The IT Manager, to vacuum her office one afternoon as it was a bit dusty. </quote>

BTDTGTTS!!

Probably the shortest tenure at any employer I have ever had - all of 20 minutes.

Hired on to """improve""" their complete IT estate, by mom and dad; because it had slowly deteriorated into a clusterfuck, no thanks to the meddling of """sonny boy""".

FIRST day on the job, """sonny boy""" THINKS I was a member of their janitorial staff, because he demands that I:

1) mop the bathroom floors,

2) sweep out the warehouse, and

3) throw out the garbage.

I was NOT hired to perform janitorial duties, and once """sonny boy""" finished spouting off the mouth, I walked over to the receptionist, and asked: "WHO the fuck foes he think he is?"

"The owner's son." she replied.

"Well tell the owners that, upon reflection, I have decided NOT to take the job, and I wish them luck in finding janitorial staff that can double as IT techs. Also tell them NOT to even bother calling me, as I will block their number, and if they want to know why I changed my mind, just tell them what their `little precious one` had done."

I walked out the door, and never heard from them since. Later, I did hear that the shit hit the fan shortly after they found out what had transpired. My understanding was that """sonny boy""" was swiftly promoted to a position at another employer. I wonder how hard the door hit him on his ass as he was ejected from mommy and daddy's company.

I do remember that word got around to avoid them like the plague, and it must have been more than 6 months later before someone was desperate stupid sufficiently cash strapped enough to take the job.

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Tens of thousands of Popcorn Time movie streamers menaced by anti-piracy fleet

Fatman
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Re: The Motion Picture Ass. of America

Yet, perfectly descriptive.

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Fatman
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Re: Britney moment

<quote>Now who do I send it to? This "suing for things based on documents originating from my organization" sounds like a lawyers money making wet dream.</quote>

FTFY!!!

Fine examples:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ACS:Law

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenda_Law

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Manhattan-sized iceberg splits from glacier – and spotted FROM SPACE

Fatman
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Re: Just where do ... @AC re 10 Billion people

<quote>Trying to cap the population to something only a little above today's level is far, far preferable to driving the population to the point where it takes all of humanities efforts to just sustain the higher population.</quote>

You do realize that in the past, one method of keeping the population in check was warfare. The most recent planet wide exhibition of 'warfare' claimed the lives of 10's of millions, with the resulting destruction of wealth in the BILLION$.

I agree, the overall population of the planet needs to be gradually lowered, and better geographically dispersed, so that population groups are located near resources, but that will take time, and inertia to overcome. Unless you have a better idea?

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Sysadmin ignores 25 THOUSAND patches, among other sins

Fatman
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Re: I don't think he handled this job at all correctly

<quote>Before he touched ANYTHING, he should have made 100% certain he had a way to go back to the previous state if he broke something. </quote>

Agreed! But, you don't always GET that luxury, especially if the shit has already hit the fan. Like this one company where I had responded to an employment ad.

The first thing that stared me in the face were the numerous BMWs in the parking lot. As I waited for the interviewer, I chatted up the receptionist, and found out that those cars were leased by the company for the use of its executives.

After speaking to the interviewer, and before leaving, I requested an opportunity to 'review' the IT estate. This was back in 2010, and I found a number of Win 98 machines, and some early XP machines.. I pointed out the age of the estate, and inquired about the budget prospects for getting in new equipment. The response (some bullshit about increasing shareholder value) was inadequate, and I told the interviewer so. I then told the interviewer that I was no longer interested in the position because the executives had made their priorities clear, and I was not about to become their scapegoat.

The interviewer was shocked, and had 'wondered aloud' as to how I """understood""" the companies "priorities". I replied that the company executives would rather invest in toys for themselves, instead of tools for the employees to better perform their jobs. The interviewer didn't understand what I meant, so I pointed to the BMW's, and curtly remarked: "THERE are your fucking toys!"

Their owners sold them off in 2011, and the first move the buyer made was to shitcan the entire executive ranks.

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Imation now fully under activist investor's control

Fatman
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Happy

To the Victor Belong the Spoils......

<quote>De Perio, having engineered all this, thanked his victims the departing board members for their service: "On behalf of the Board and all our shareholders, I want to express our deep gratitude to Mark, Bill and Tony for their dedication and significant contributions to Imation over the years. Together with Barry as interim President, we look forward to continuing to take the necessary steps to position the Company for long-term profitable growth, and we wish Mark, Bill and Tony all the best in their future endeavors.”</quote>

I guess it didn't matter much since the departing board members had been aware that their departure was in the cards.

I recall a recent 'orchestrated' (by my employer) exit of a manglement team that had run newly purchased company into the ground; and were expecting the new owners (my employer) to allow them to continue to destroy shareholder value.

They apparently were not aware that the 'sale transaction' didn't include the underlying corporate entity that was their employer; consequently allowing us the opportunity to pick and choose which employees to 'bring over'. Guess who didn't make the list??

The expressions of shock and dismay on their faces as they were ungraciously """kicked in the ass""" by our CEO are PRICELESS.

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Could our fear of fracking be appeased with CO2 sequestration?

Fatman
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Collecting "free" energy...

<quote>Why not put as much effort into collecting the free energy we get from the sun every day? </quote>

Because, in a nutshell, it will NOT completely solve the problem. Nor will wind power. Both suffer from the SAME PROBLEM - availability varies. With solar, it's time of day (i.e. nothing at night), with wind - calm winds does NOT spin turbines. And, if you can't store the "free" energy in some manner, it is wasted.

In most countries around the world, electricity is a huge source of energy. Electric power grids see fluctuating daily demands that are time of day, day of week and seasonal in nature. If electricity can not be used at the time of generation, it is wasted,

Storing excess generation capacity is, at the time, an inefficient process, regardless of source. IF efforts can be put to improving the efficiency of storing excess generation, then perhaps some good will become of your idea.

Power grid loads fall into three different categories:

1) base load - Base load is often provided by power plants that are not very 'agile' in nature (i.e. time delays in ramping up the power generated). Examples are nuke plants and some coal fired plants. These plants like to be run within a defined output range, and do not react well to demand spikes.

2) somewhat predictable varied load (time of day, day of week, season) - Demand increases that occur during the day as people wake up, and go about their day's activities.

3) peak load which can be weather related - An example is a higher aircon demand on a hot day. Here is one area where a solar PV array CAN be of use is when it is employed on site to feed a local time of day related load - like aircon. Having a large aircon load, with some or most of it supplied by solar can reduce the demand on the power grid, and lower the use of expensive turbine peaking units.

But, in order to make better use of that free energy from the sun, we must come with a better mechanism to STORE IT, when we don't need it.

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Microsoft replaces Windows 10 patch update, isn't saying why

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Redmond's not been super-responsive of late.

<quote>IED?

Internet Explorer Device?</quote>

Not exactly, try this:

IED?

Internet ExploDer Device?

</snark>

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Boss hands dunce's cap to chap who turned off disk monitor

Fatman
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Joke

<quote>"The only truly correctly configured Exchange server is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards dumped at the bottom of the Marianas Trench - and even then I have my doubts."</quote>

FTFY!!!!

For those who flunked geography: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariana_Trench

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Dell, Google dangle Chromebooks over IT bosses sick of Windows

Fatman
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Re: Fail

<quote>As far as manageability goes, how is this better? </quote>

YOU and I might know better, but this is pitched at business executives damagement who don't.

The """pitch""" is: it's NOT Windows.

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DNS root zone drama: Follow live the most important dullest ceremony you'll ever see

Fatman
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Joke

Re: It is all rather exciting ...

<quote>....NSA wouldn't never want to see them make a mistake.</quote>

Really, how could ANYTHING go wrong, when the NSA supplies the key beforehand.

</snark>

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It's 2015, and someone can pwn Windows PCs by inserting a USB stick

Fatman
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WindblowZE Updates.....

<quote>After 15 minutes spinning its wheels in "checking for updates" mode ....</quote>

Which is one thing I really like about the Synaptic Package Manager. You can get it to show the progress of both the download, and the application of the packages (should you choose to do so) in an attempt to be assured that your b0x isn't frozen.

Can't say that about WindblowZE.

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Fatman
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Joke

Re: All versions on windows.... again

<quote>Oh hello Redmond marketing department, really? You really want to try and spin that one here, and really right now? </quote>

Oh, come on now, give Loverock Davidfson a break; it must be lonely in that dimly lit basement.

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Mozilla-Microsoft spat latest: Firefox yanks Cortana away from Bing

Fatman
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Re: I'm Mullah-levels of mad

<quote>Enough BOFHs start demanding "mental danger pay" or taking stress/sick leave for working with MS products and the management will take notice and eventually look for alternatives.</quote>

In a word: BULLSHIT!!!!

All manglement cares about is how to duck responsibility for their clusterfuxks. If the use of Nicrosoft shaft products allows that, then they will continue to use that shitty O/S.

If you make too much noise, you might end up hearing: "Clear out your desk."

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Colt shareholders grab Fidelity offer, declare 'we're outta here'

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Colt dropped the 'Telecom' element of its brand some years back.....

<quote>Hopefully much of the board will be kicked out and it returned to a working company again.</quote>

Let's not stop there, while you are at it, drag out the incompetents in senior senile manglement.

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Rise up against Oracle class stupidity and join the infosec strike

Fatman
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Re: Hence my username ...

<quote>I play the cover my ass so I can play the "I told you so" card.</quote>

I hope that you have used some 25 mm steel plate in that ass covering.

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Fatman
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RE: In civilized countries

<quote>But in really civilized countries, the executives have the legislature's ear with carrots and sticks suitcases of campaign contributions, blocking such efforts. What then?</quote>

FTFY!!!

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Fatman
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Joke

Re: will it really help?

<quote>Hence why I think both legislation and grassroots nerdrage are required. </quote>

I hope you `like it hot`, because it will be a cold day in hell before legislation gets passed that brings individual responsibility down on the heads of damagement.

Corporates OWN the government and legislators in MANY countries.

AFAIAC, trying to 'raise awareness' from within is a potential resume generating event.

Good luck getting a job when the corporate overlords make these kind of remarks regarding your time with them:

1) doesn't take direction well

2) can't see the `bigger picture`

3) not focused on the company's goals

4) too many personality conflicts

and I could go on, so I hope you get the idea. You seem to forget the cardinal; rule of HR:

When the prospective employee's version of events conflict with those of management; those of management are PRESUMED to be correct.

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Introducing the Asus VivoMini UN42 – a pint-sized PC, literally

Fatman
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RE: Out of interest - does it run Crysis?

With a Celeron, it probably locks up.

</snark>

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Fatman
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Re: Footprint

<quote>There is NO NEED for an operating system to be that big. There just isn't. I mean what the hell is IN there?</quote>

I hear you. The machine that I am using to create this post has a 22GiB (Ubuntu 12.04) root partition, with around 13GiB FREE.

Now, the fact that my /home is on a separate partition, and it is chock full of media files.........

But, your point (that Windows is bloated) is so true. Time for Windows to go on a diet.

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Pentagon email hacked, Russia already blamed

Fatman
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Coat

Re: Russia ascendant

<quote>Yet US foreign policy will continue its unilateral 'my way or the highway' stance until it runs into a wall off a cliff.</quote>

FTFY

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Copyright troll wants to ban 'copyright troll' from its copyright troll lawsuit

Fatman
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Malibu Media

I wonder, did their principals attend the same law school as those reputable guardians of private profits known as Prenda Law???? (for those who haven't heard of Prenda Law: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/05/06/smackdown_smutseeding_copyright_troll_blasted_from_the_bench_again/ )

It smells like they may have shared the same classroom.

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Oracle brews PERPETUAL, all-you-can-eat database licence

Fatman
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Re: That not how Salesforce Licensing works

<quote>There's no need for them to audit your software use - they can monitor it minute by minute and shut you off if you don't pay up.</quote>

Try explaining THAT to damagement.

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Fatman
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Joke

Re: All you can eat? More like how much can you swallow.

<quote>Could it be because of all those under-the-desk deals with "decision makers"?</quote>

No, no, no!!!

You have that all wrong. it's more like:

Supplementary contributions to my retirement fund.

</snark>

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OS X remote malware strikes Thunderbolt, hops hard drive swaps

Fatman
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Re: Doh!

<quote>Presumably there are even more clever ways to go about it, but firmware is written to so rarely that making the user take some action is not unreasonable.</quote>

Simple, just insert in the write enable line a single DIP jumper plug that must be in place to enable writes to the flash chip.

<sarcasm> (Wait, that can't be done as profit margins are too small.) </sarcasm>

I bet some of the yoof are wondering to themselves: "What the fuck is he talking about???"

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W3C's bright idea turned your battery into a SNITCH for websites

Fatman
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FAIL

RE: Thanks for the tip

Me too!!!

I just checked and found it turned on.

Now, it's turned OFF!!!!

As for the API - what a fucking IDIOTic idea, so the ONLY appropriate icon------------------>

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Netzpolitik spy journo treason case stalls, chief prosecutor told to quit

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Sometimes we have to put bureaucrats in their place

Might that be in front of a firing squad????

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Wait, STOP: Are you installing Windows 10 or RANSOMWARE?

Fatman
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Devil

Re: A serious question here ...

<quote>That's right, kill the no-good sons o' b*tches, kill them with extreme prejudice, kill them with a smile on our faces.</quote>

For sport, they could be fastened in an electric chair, streamed live over the internet; and a url published to 'finish them off'. Enter the right hexadecimal code, and the relay closes, and they get fried. They will "sweat bullets" waiting for the end to come, which will make the current flow through them even better.

Now, ElReg, where is that evil bastard icon???

Then again, you could always use one of these:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/08/01/fda_hospitals_hospira_pump_hacks/

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Are smart safes secure? Not after we've USB'd them, say infosec bods

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Windows

<quote>Those safes are running Windows!</quote>

What the fuck did you expect??? A SECURE operating system???

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US Census Bureau IT systems hacked, data leaked by Anonymous

Fatman
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Joke

Re: This is precisely why...

<quote>Where are you going to build such a long wall?</quote>

China has one that might suffice!

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Intelsat to FCC: For the love of satellites, STOP ELON MUSK!

Fatman
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Re: Status 5

amanfrommars

Is that YOU???

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Jeep hackers broke DMCA, says EFF, and that's stupid

Fatman
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Re: DMCA illegality?

<quote> I think I've just invented the remote-control demolition derby ....</quote>

Aka Robot Wars II http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0163488/

Now, instead of destroying ONLY machines, you can terrorize entire populations by taking control of their """connected""" vehicles and cause mayhem.

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Microsoft to spoofed Skype users: Change your account passwords NOW

Fatman
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Joke

Re: It shows that Microsoft has started working on Skype

For about 25ms, I thought it read security features; but reality checked in.

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Bump and grind is Mozilla's plan for future Firefox OS releases

Fatman
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Happy

RE: They need to spend time on getting TVs and mobiles right,

It looks like that may very well be the case:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/07/17/breaking_fad_android_tv_and_firefox_os_head_to_head/

The "money part" being:

The package is extremely elegant, and couldn’t be more different to Android TV. Indeed, Firefox OS owes more to LG’s webOS than anything else. It’s brilliant and I love it.

Perhaps, once they have demonstrated that they can build a device OS that performs well, they can fire the existing browser developers, and do a re-think of the Firefox browser. It is sorely needed.

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Time for a brutal TELLY-OFF: Android TV versus Firefox OS

Fatman
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Re: The thing to remember about Smart TVs...

<quote>every couple o'years needs a valve replacing</quote>

Just wait until you have to replace the CRT!!!!!

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Apple and Samsung are plotting to KILL OFF the SIM CARD - report

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Wow

HOW fucking CLUELESS can you get???

It is all about DRM - Digital Rights Management - and how you can be locked into only AUTHORIZED uses for a device.

If I buy a SIM card, I can insert it into any phone it will fit into, and use it with that device, or more importantly, use my selected SIM with MY DEVICE as I see fit. Roaming fees and costs are one of-quoted example of why it is done.

Once you make the SIM non removable, and in essence, bolted onto the hardware the user NO LONGER controls how the device is used. An uncooperative, or downright hostile carrier, can prevent the device from leaving (or joining) it's network if it so chooses.

IN THIS INSTANCE, YOU (THE DEVICE OWNER), ARE FUCKED, and there is little you can do about it, because they already have your money, and the device becomes a throwaway item.

Icon most deserving of your failure to understand the underlying motivations behind the carrier-device maker relationship: "Let's scratch EACH OTHER'S BACKS!!!"

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Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Wow

<quote>Do you really think it is in Apple or Samsung's interest to add to a customer's carrier lock-in?</quote>

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

It is all in the name of added dealer profit!!! (In this case, the dealer being the carriers.)

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Mozilla's ‘Great or Dead’ philosophy may save bloated blimp Firefox

Fatman
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FAIL

Firefox

As a long time user of Firefox (since the v3.x days), if I have one thing to say to the devs at Mozilla, it is this:

GODDAMMIT

STOP FUCKING WITH THE U/I AND FIX FIREFOX'S UNDERLYING PROBLEMS!!!

When I upgraded from v28 to v29, the upgrade completely FUCKED OVER my customized profile. Luckily, I had the v28 install file, and reloaded it, and restored the profile from a backup. (Thank YOU FEBE!!! You saved my ass that day!)

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Comcast: We're twice as fast as Google's 1Gbps Fiber (for x4 the price)

Fatman
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Joke

<quote>And if they do they'll burn your house down.</quote>

No, I though that was Verizon's forte!

http://www.networkworld.com/article/2349543/lan-wan/baby-layla-s-the-latest-to-learn-that-fios-stands-for-fire-is-our-specialty.html

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Imation's CEO races to exit door, grabs $4.8m golden goodbye

Fatman
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FAIL

"Golden" Parachutes for incompetent executives.

$DEITY I wish those incompetent C levels would get what they actually deserve - a LEAD LINED parachute that takes them straight to the ground HARD.

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Sixty-five THOUSAND Range Rovers recalled over DOOR software glitch

Fatman
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Re: Why?

<quote>The more bells and whistles that are added to cars the more technical problems ensue.</quote>

How else do you insure added dealer profits???? (when the shitty thing breaks after the warranty period.)

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Fatman
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Re: Love this...

<quote>What wait a few years until it gets so hard to insure them, that people probably stop buying them THEN do something about it?</quote>

Where I live, there is a prominent legal firm whose TV advertising points out the need to have the vehicles involved in a serious crash inspected by automotive experts.

With "things" like ignition switches that fail, brakes the don't work due to software glitches, and cruise controls that do not disengage; they want to impress potential clients that """accidents""" are not often such a straight forward issue of solely driver negligence.

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Hacking Team: We're the good guys, but SO misunderstood. Like Batman

Fatman
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:We're the Good Guys (tm)"

In a word:

BULLSHIT!!!!

Says it all!

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Wow, another NSA leak: Network security code appears on GitHub

Fatman
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Re: Spaceman Spiff

I think he was taking a jab at the upper reaches of the NSA, not its foot soldiers.

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Fatman
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Re: elDog Please, be the first to take advantage of this fine product

Well apart from those too blinded by the foil wrapped round their heads, it seems.

Well, you can wrap you house, like this guy did:

http://wfla.com/2015/07/09/foiled-tarpon-springs-house-no-longer-an-art-project/

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NASA chooses ace SPACE PILOTS who'll take the USA back into manned flight

Fatman
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Re: The Right Stuff

We just need to leave all the politicians, bureaucrats, religion and lawyers behind when we do leave.

Well you are on the correct path, but, we should take them along, and once in orbit, jettison them out the airlock, BOFH style!!!!

</snark>

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We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

Fatman
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Re: Nice timing

<quote>but anything the boss needs to see is flipping windows).</quote>

Then get rid of that boss, and get one who isn't married to that P-O/S.

</snark>

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It’s 2015 and we're being told not to send credit cards as cleartext

Fatman
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Re: Now someone tell the banks

If your little old merchant is expected to abide by these rules, why cant the banks?

BECAUSE the expense doesn't increase shareholder value!!!

</snark>

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What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Fatman
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Focusing Manglement

My usual answer to such is "Do you want me to talk about fixing it, or do you want me to actually just fix it and we can then discuss it later?" I usually find that focuses the mind, even of managers.

Sorry, but I don't agree with you.

The only way to focus a mangler in such situations is the judicious use of a clue-by-four to the head of such mangler. (Or if your name is Simon, you might use a cattleprod, instead.)

Hopefully, with them reeling from that assault, you have time to 'fix things'. Then, you may have to get your resume in order, unless there is a mangler higher up in the corporate org chart that gets it and sends the inane mangler packing.

I am lucky to have a boss that knows that when the shit hits the fan, she does her best to stay out of our hair until things are fixed. Then comes the debriefing, and finger pointing.

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New racks, cables for aging and neglected data centres

Fatman
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RE: I Spy an OKIData dot matrix printer in there!

Still holding the last 2K of the report that caused the head carriage to jam; sitting all the while for someone to come in and un-jam it.

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

"Will someone EVER fix me?"

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