* Posts by Fatman

1943 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

Microsoft buries the bad Windows Phone news: Mobile sales collapse

Fatman
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Squandering Shareholder Value

If I were a Microsoft stockholder, then I would be quite interested in the rationale behind this extravagant waste of shareholder value.

Why did you piss away so much money for a dud product line???

Isn't this just another example of manglement getting itself into superfluous areas outside their core expertise?

Microsoft's manglement must believe that it can burn through shareholder value like shit runs through a goose. I thank $DEITY I am not a shareholder in Microsoft.

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Server vendor has special help desk for lying, incompetent sysadmins

Fatman
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Joke

RE: Support Checklist

<quote>

5) Sales and Partner Sales take customer Management out to dinner

-- > Customer gets pampered with a nice meal and drinks, vendor pays

-- > Sales and Partner Sales a celebrating their success and compare wrist watches

-- > vendor Support and Idiot Sys Admin stay up all night working to resolve the issue

-- > Management want regular updates

</quote>

You forgot:

-- > Vendor Sales and Partner Sales reps reap a huge bonus for 'saving the company's ass'.

-- > Vendor Support and Idiot Sys Admin get their asses reamed for """incompetence""".

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Fatman
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Re: Wrong sized hammer

<quote>People just think you hit it with a hammer, but there is an art to assessing which hammer to use and exactly how much excessive force to apply. And which sacred chant to speak, ...</quote>

I had an old Micropolis full sized 5-1/4 inch 145Mb unit seize. The customer's most recent backup was more than 2 months old, and there would have been a shit load of work lost if I could not recover that data. I told the customer that anything done since the last backup will be gone if I don't manage to get the drive functional, and they MAY get lucky if I can unfreeze it. BUT NO GUARANTEES I even got that in writing to protect my ass!!!!

To replace that oversized beast, I had procured a replacement hard drive (a Quantum Fireball 540) and I had formatted it, and loaded the O/S and the backup onto it. I got it to boot. At this point, the customer could be back up, albeit having lost more than two months worth of work. I powered the box down, and completely unplugged the drives power and data cable, and removed it from the case. I did not want any "accidents" fucking up the hard work I just completed.

I borrowed a small 4 oz brass hammer and deftly whacked it on its long side close to the motor spindle. (i.e. Force applied perpendicular to the motor shaft.) I then connected the power and data cables, and fired up the box. The damn thing spun up. The customer, trying to get out of paying for the repairs exclaimed: "You fixed it!!!, We don't need the other drive."

I reminded him that this was only a temporary fix, in an attempt to recover the lost work, and it is highly likely that this drive will fail again. I jam a 150Mb QIC into the tape drive, and make a backup; then I made another one, and finally a third.

I re-installed the replacement, booted it up, and restored the backup over the old files. I let the customer check the data, and all of what they expected was there. Whew!

The customer insisted on me reconnecting the failed hard drive because he didn't believe that the 10 year old drive had failed. To humor him, I did so. I powered it back up, and the motherfucker started to smoke. God damn was I lucky.

He had stalled on paying the bill, so the company ended up suing him, and won. He refused to pay, and I contacted one of their office staff, and was able to find out where they had their bank account. A garnishment order took care of collecting that judgment. That shithead got blacklisted by us, and his company name made the rounds. I wonder who was unfortunate enough to ever make the mistake of doing IT work for him in the future.

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Fatman
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Joke

Re: "Microsoft Certified Support Engineer"

<quote>You are correct, it is "Must Consult Someone Else" ...</quote>

NO!!!

NO!!!!

NO!!!

It is:

Microsoft

Certified

Shutdown

Enigneer!!!!

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Ex-Citibank IT bloke wiped bank's core routers, will now spend 21 months in the clink

Fatman
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Re: Just another unstable idiot

<quote>Perhaps he'd be better off finding a nice job in lawn care at a fast food establishment.</quote>

FTFY!!!

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How to upgrade cities to 40Gbps broadband without replacing today's fiber network

Fatman
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FAIL

FiOS and Verizon

<quote>Ready just in time for them to flog it off to someone else for a pretty penny?</quote>

They have already done that with some bad results:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/envelope/cotown/la-et-ct-frontier-puc-verizon-switch-20160518-snap-story.html

http://arstechnica.com/business/2016/05/frontier-outages-persist-35-days-after-switch-from-verizon/

http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/can-frontier-communications-get-over-its-fumbling-takeover-of-verizon-fios/2271934

http://www.tomshardware.com/news/frontier-isp-failure,31663.html

In Flori-duh Frontier took over back on April 1 (and the 'joke' was on the customers) and they still are having issues!!!

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Osram's Lightify smart bulbs blow a security fuse – isn't anything code audited anymore?

Fatman
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RE: I wish I could upvote that a hundred times.

I gave it one vote on your behalf.

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IT boss 'set up fake companies to charge his employers $2.4m'

Fatman
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How to (financially) rape a company

Without getting too detailed here, this is just a lesson on how to defraud an employer.

BTW - this """lesson""" does not purport to represent what happened at the company mentioned, it is a general description of how this fraud can go unnoticed. (BTSTGTTS)

Imagine the amount of fraud that occur if a whole bunch of executives were in on the fraud.

You have your low level 'retail' managers that can divert income from the company (especially if that revenue stream comes in as cash), with them taking a cut (of that cash stream) on its way to the upper level fraudsters.

Then the fraudsters hit the company on its expenses.

The fraudsters use accomplices that infiltrate and use legitimate supplier companies to perpetuate the fraud by generating 'phantom invoices'; which purport to provide products and services to the prime target company, but which in fact are just plain bogus.

These accomplices are situated inside the "phantom" supplier in such a way that they can intercept the incoming payments and direct them to "bogus" bank accounts the accomplice controls, often created with forged documents that provide for the power to open and close bank accounts.

Another aspect of the fraud involves overbilling the prime target for a legitimate product or service, with that overbilled invoice getting approved and paid for the entire over billed amount. That supplier's records either show a credit memo for the over billing, or the invoice is reduced before posting. The overpayment is refunded to the prime target, but it is deposited into an unauthorized bank account controlled by the fraudsters. From that supplier's perspective - YOU over paid, and we refunded that overpayment. End of discussion. The supplier can point to the check as proof. Unless someone took the time to determine where that check ended up, ...

One of the easiest ways to induce this fraud is to bill the prime target for "consulting services" by another legitimate company where some more fraudsters are in on the scam, where those payments are directed into unauthorized bank accounts.

Since the prime target company managers have approval authority for invoices for products and services (many times NOT) performed; and cover by the upper level executives in on the fraud, unraveling this fraud takes a lot of time. Which is why it took so long to discover in this case.

A very good reason why one should run criminal record checks on anyone who handles cash, or has payment approval authority. Also, a good reason why larger firms should audit their financials at least every two or three years. Six years is way too long. Even spot checking invoices could have led to an earlier discovery of this fraud.

I only wish there was an appropriate icon for a thief in the night.

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We're not looking for MH370 in the wrong place say investigators

Fatman
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Re: No One Wants The Flight Found

<quote>Dump the plane somewhere that would make it super difficult to find, and even if it was found make it super hard to find out what happened to it.</quote>

In the movie The Hunt for Red October, there is a scene where the US sub commander and the American agent discuss how to make the Russian sub disappear. The agent finds a deep spot on the charts, and sends that location to the Russian sub commander.

It is part of this clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBU6C6lA6vI

and can be found at about 1:35 - 1:39.

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IETF boffins design a DNS for digital money

Fatman
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RE: My mis-read of the day:

Nah!!!

You just need more caffeine!!!!!

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Tight-wad Apple repair techs swapped our damaged iGear with used kit – lawsuit

Fatman
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Joke

Re: I hear a very small violin playing...

Can I borrow your newly coined term?:

pokédopes

Here is an example of one:

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/tampa-police-use-taser-to-subdue-man-who-resisted-arrest-playing-pok233mon/2286420

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Samsung spills beans on mystery username, password emails to devs

Fatman
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Re: @gerdesj : Amen!

I gave him one in your name.

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FTC lets Nest off the hook over Revolv IoT hub bricking shame

Fatman
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FTC hints at I(dI)oT manufacturers

OK, so the FTC is trying to make a statement, but what about the blowback?

I(dI)oT industry to FTC: "Wot??? Taking away our business model of planned obsolescence??? Get real, if we have to support those I(dI)oT things forever, then WHO will buy our new shiny-shiny???"

We haven't heard the last.

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Mock cop bot swats tot

Fatman
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RE: I, for one, welcome our new robot mall-cop overlords...

Not me!!!!

And nor do I welcome their meatbag brothers.

I was assisting an electrician who was doing some re-wiring of a mall store, when we decided to eat lunch in. He was in his company uniform shirt, while I was wearing only a sweaty T shirt. The mall cop walked over to us and told me that "homeless people are not welcome", and that if I didn't leave, he would call the police and have me removed. I ignored him, and he did call the cops. We also called our boss, who arrived only to find me in the back seat of a patrol car.

He (our boss) went straight to the mall management and bitched like hell. They told the cops to let me go. The mall cop tried to apologize (one could see that he really didn't want to do it), as the apology was 'half hearted'. I told the mall management that the only apology that meant anything was one which included the immediate termination of the mall cop. They refused, and we went back to work, finishing the job for the store tenant.

The last I have heard of this mall was it was being torn down because of age, and a slow loss of tenants. I wonder why the tenants left?

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Software bug costs Citigroup $7m after legit transactions mistaken for test data for 15 years

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: got away...

<quote>They got away with the crime for 15 years,</quote>

I feel the real crime was in not promptly reporting the issue to the SEC, and for that reason alone, they should have faced a higher fine. It would be nice to extract the fine from whoever sat on that decision's paycheck/pension/golden parachute.

Please allow these assumptions (and I do know the ALTERNATE spelling of "assume"):

1) The original coder never expected branch codes to have an alphabetic character in them. (In hindsight, one should not have been allowed to create an alphanumeric branch code.)

2) WHOEVER decided to implement alphanumeric (10A, 10B, etc) branch codes did not run that decision past the IT staff responsible for maintaining the code. They had no clue to what someone in Ops was doing.

3) No one ever bothered to test the code once the alphanumeric codes were put into use because of 1) and 2) above. This is the reason why the time span was measured in years.

4) Most likely (and I am assuming here) when the discrepancy was discovered, the shit hit the fan. The logic mistake was fixed pronto.

What should have happened was CGMI immediately informing the SEC, and CGMI immediately provide corrected reports.

BUT some corporate asshole sat on the decision, and hoped it would go away. Well, it didn't. CGMI may have come out better if the "optics" of the incident were better. The "optics" being:

1) they fucked up royally,

2) they quickly fixed the fuckup,

3) they provided only a partial correction of the misleading reports,

4) they sat on reporting to the SEC for months which imparts the stench of "coverup"

IM(NS)HO, who ever at CGMI 'sat' on the decision NOT to promptly inform the SEC should be sent on a new career path without any "parachute" (severance pay).

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Using Comcast biz phones? Hope you liked your afternoon off

Fatman
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FAIL

RE: Comcast FAIL

Makes one wonder why any business would completely rid itself of land lines.

Most likely dumbass MBA's hell bent on increasing shareholder value driving such lunacy.

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Student Loans Company burns £50 million in IT project superfail

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: How the fec....?

A more satisfying idea would be to re-purpose a Medieval Siege Engine (also known as a Trebuchet) for a new purpose; launching those responsible on new career trajectories.

The chosen landing spot could contain lots of rocks, sharp pointed spikes or other objects designed to insure a painful landing. Only then will Government IT get the message.

I recall a (USofA) PBS documentary on the Trebuchet some time ago, and I feel it is the most appropriate way to send manglers on their way. Perhaps one could be set up to launch those responsible into the side of the Tower of London. (and correct me if I am wrong, doesn't part of that Tower abut a river?)

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Russian gang who exploited hacked bank accounts jailed

Fatman
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Crims

It would be a shame if these two actually served their sentences in full.

Prisons are a dangerous place. Watch out boys, don't drop the soap!

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Webpages, Word files, print servers menacing Windows PCs – yup, it's Patch Tuesday

Fatman
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FAIL

RE: "Checking for updates"

This morning, I fired up my Linux box, and in less than 30 seconds, I had reloaded the repository files.

Synaptic told me that i had only 3 packages that needed updating, two of them involve libpurple, and then of course, the obligatory flash-plugin-installer.

I was done within 3 minutes.

Yes, there are times where updating the repository files indicates that a shitload of updates are available, and that I may have to download shitloads of package files; but that pales in comparison to Windows.

When I bought this PC, it was factory infected with the Windows malware. Recognizing my desire to make EOLing the machine reasonably painless, I purchased another hard drive and installed Linux on it. The Windows malware infected disk sits in the case, power and data cables disconnected. The only time I fire that hard drive up is every 6 months or so, to perform a Windows Update. Considering how long it takes Windows Update to check for updates, download them, and install them, I often find that I must find some other way to occupy my time.

Once, I drove to a theater, saw a movie, and returned, and Windows Update was still running.

Jesus Fucking Christ, I was gone for more than 3 hours, and Windows Update was still fucking around, "Checking For Updates". It made me wonder if one of those 'updates' doesn't increment a delay loop value in order to cause the appearance of """slowness"""; and impart on the unfortunate Windows (l)user that they """need""" a new PC. After all, PC manufacturers are Microsoft's """Partners""".

Windows Update is a big FAIL in my book!!!

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YouTube stars shilled for Warner Bros, screwed up, and now the FTC has written an angry letter

Fatman
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Re: Hans Blix joke doesn't make much sense?

<quote>The FTC actually carries a big stick when it chooses: they dinged Google for $22.5M a few years back. They can also order companies to repay consumers. But here instead they chose to say sternly "don't repeat this fraud" [so go find a new one?].</quote>

Which IS part of the problem - NO PUNISHMENT for those who engaged in this odious behavior.

Would it be nice if the head of Marketing were taken out, whipped, drawn and quartered, and castrated to serve as a deterrent to other Marketeers in the future???

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Florida U boffins think they've defeated all ransomware

Fatman
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Joke

RE: WinTrolls vote-flame logical post!

<quote>WinTrolls vote-flame logical post!

They need to go out and play Pokeball and let us real geeks talk Linux ;-)</quote>

Or the latest craze:

http://wfla.com/2016/07/11/pokemon-go-is-addictive-spreading-fast-in-tampa-bay-area/

There have been at one local media report of some IDIOT being robbed playing this STUPID GAME.

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Keep up the pressure on the telcos, Canada

Fatman
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Thumb Up

Re: corporate lobbyists shovelling "campaign contributions" into the pockets of politicians.

$DEITY knows that I would like to upvote you 1000 times, but I can't.

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Facebook deleted my post and made me confirm pics of my kids weren't sexually explicit

Fatman
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Re: I dumped Facebook

I threw one in on your behalf!

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4-day Fasthosts outage: Customers' sites go TITSUP

Fatman
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Joke

When the cloud bursts....

<quote>If its in the cloud AND it's condensing you might be in trouble when it all rains down on you...</quote>

Just hope that rain isn't BROWN!!!!!

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Bad blood: US govt bans bio-test biz Theranos' CEO for two years

Fatman
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Re: Considering her ownership stake

<quote>Whilst as an equity holder the investors should accept a lot of risks, the idea of allowing this snake oil outfit to trade in a secondary equity market was always nonsense, and simply a way for the VCs (who undoubtedly knew the company was worthless) to cash out at the expense of less well informed investors.</quote>

As I have said before:

Fools and their money are easily parted.

Also, how else do you think VCs (Vulture Capitalists) expect to;

1) make any money

2) get out of bad investments???

Simple: Find some easily mislead $ucker.

Nothing more than typical Wall Street behavior: sell $ucker$ Gold plated shit.

If you haven't seen it, the Wolf of Wall Street is an interesting flick. ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0993846/ )

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Fatman
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Re: Denial: It's not just a river in Egypt

<quote>What I don't get is how she got all that money to begin with. </quote>

Fools and their money are easily parted.

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Facebook ‘glitch’ that deleted the Philando Castile shooting vid: It was the police – sources

Fatman
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Re: There is a known syndrome here in the US

You are on the right road, but have the 'terminology' wrong.

The proper expression is:

PIG,

much like their feral cousins.

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Fatman
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Re: Guns don't kill people....

<quote>Just google "Chicago police code of silence" It's not just Chicago though...</quote>

I lived in Chicago during the 1960's, and I still remember those PIGS well.

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Scientists want you to know how to have sex with a hyper-long dong

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Let's just go right off the rails with this one...

<quote>There might really be teeth down there.</quote>

Like in this flick

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/

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NASA curious about Curiosity's fourth 'safe mode' event

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Crazy Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems is a SMARTR Front AI Liberation ‽ .

Hell, I had a page fault trying to parse the first paragraph!!!!

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CityFibre takes on Ofcom over pledge to open BT ducts and poles

Fatman
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RE: damaging BT fiber

<quote>Do you want lots of companies damaging the BT cable in the duct that your broadband runs over?</quote>

Well that would depend upon whether or not the third party has exclusive use of a duct (or sub-duct).

BT can not be that incompetent (although some would vociferously DISAGREE here) in allowing a third party to pull cable in the same duct (or sub-duct) as an existing BT cable.

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Down to Earth: NASA's kilo-kitty balloon lands after 46 days

Fatman
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Joke

HOW to keep that balloon afloat - permanently

Simples, just add:

!) bumbling politicians who are running for office (or re-election)

2) law enforcement officials who try to "spin" more bullshit as to why THEY need more snooping powers

3) PR hacks who spout the same bullshit over and over again when their client gets hacked

when each one has made their contribution of "HOT AIR" to the balloon, their services are no longer necessary, and they can be simply chucked overboard. There should ne NO SHORTAGE of desirable candidates worldwide.

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Linux letting go: 32-bit builds on the way out

Fatman
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Re: The foss community is not embracing a disposable future.

<quote>FFS this is not like MS shitting on your machine with W10.</quote>

Have an upvote for that!

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We'll smash probe into comet 300 million miles away for kicks, er, sorry, ... for science

Fatman
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Re: landing at an angle that denied its solar panels vital sunlight

<quote>A very long mission failed to perform as expected under conditions where a couple of RTGs would be perfectly happy and chug on for years. Loss to science seems to vastly outweigh the slight risk of launching a few chunks of well protected Plutonium..</quote>

You can blame the ANTI-NUKE CROWD for that one.

I remember all of the noise they made over a previous launch (the Saturn probe Cassini), trying every legal trick to stop it. They failed, and it went up.

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Farewell, Fadell: Nest CEO Tony quits IoT biz

Fatman
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Mocking or pointed criticism?

<quote>Those businesses might have a vigorous debate internally, but showing any of that debate to the world is considering leaking confidential info considered "airing the dirty laundry".</quote>

FTFY!

Most organizations do not like their internal politics aired in public, and get very defensive when it happens. One must wonder if this employee was a 'sacrificial lamb' brought out to finally draw the wolf (the """incompetent""" C suite executive) from its lair.

Perhaps, in this case, the door was slammed violently shut as the CEO exited. (i.e. Higher ups pointing toward the door, and making sure it closed behind him.)

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Nazi witch-hunt ends with fierce judgment

Fatman
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Joke

Re: Apologies to people working at the EPO

<quote>I hope you get your wish to be rid of him before he causes irreparable damage.</quote>

Just call the BOFH, and he can arrange for a 'lift malfunction'.

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US Senate strikes down open-access FBI hacking warrant by just one honest vote

Fatman
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Re: They're now using Orlando as an excuse? Really?

<quote>The longer I live, the more I believe our government is now run by idiots with shit for brains, instead of the crooks they used to be.</quote>

FTFY!!!

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Pressure mounts against Rule 41 – the FBI's power to hack Tor, VPN users on sight

Fatman
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Re: I kinda feel sorry for ...

and gets lined up against the wall of the Kremlin, and shot.

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Cloudian clobbers car drivers with targeted ads

Fatman
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Re: Two Things

I gave you an upvote for the Cherry 2000 reference.

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Fatman
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Re: Two words

and two more.

YOU ASSHOLES!!!!

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New York decides not to tinker with vendor lock-down for now

Fatman
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Vested Interests

The automakers are not the only ones who want to lock up the spare parts market.

Certain high end watch manufacturers1 also have taken steps to dry up the spare parts market; and force consumers to return a watch for "factory service".

That being said, there are a lot of places that perform watch repair, that are barely qualified to do much more than replace the battery, crown and crystal (watch glass). Getting a mechanical movement running is a skill that is slowly being lost as the 'old timers' die.

1 I am referring to those manufacturers of mechanical movements here, not the digitally made tat.

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Breach-tastic Irish civil service payroll system facing audit

Fatman
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Joke

Re: a classic wetware problem.

So, how do you get the point across???

Take someone out back and shoot them?

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Smut shaming: Anonymous fights Islamic State... with porn

Fatman
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Joke

RE: Pakastani search term

<quote>The most searched for term in Pakistan is animal porn.</quote>

I could not find a direct link, but check out a site called zoochosis.com, and under films, click on "Thanks Smokey". Quite lame, but it just might inspire the budding jihadi.

After all, men and sheep...............

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Crims set up fake companies to hoard and sell IPv4 addresses

Fatman
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Scarce IPv4 addresses.

I had a similar situation at a former employer. We needed only 3 IP addresses, and they gave us 8. Crazy, huh!

BUT, if you remember your basic networking with subnets....

a block of 4 contiguous IP addresses represents a net mask of /30.

a block of 8 contiguous IP addresses represents a /29.

a block of 16 contiguous IP addresses represents a /28.

and so forth.

And when you deal with subnets...

an all bits zero after the net mask is the network address,

all bits one is the broadcast address,

and everything else in-between are available for assignment.

Thus the wasteage.

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Dodgy creds found in Siemens ICS gear

Fatman
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Joke

<quote>Siemens says strong security controls should protect its industrial control system gear in line with operational guidelines.</quote>

Tell THAT to the penny pinching PHB's.

We want cheap.

We want it fast.

We want it NOW!!! (so we can spend time 'checking' up on you.)

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Prenda Law's copyright-trolling shakedown scam slammed AGAIN

Fatman
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Joke

<quote>Followed by a ritual beating execution.</quote>

FTFY!!

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Fatman
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Re: One down

<gallows humor>

Life could be so much better if Omar Mateen (the nutjob who committed the Orlando 'massacre') had walked into a spammer's convention instead.

</gallows humor>

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Spam King sent down for 30 months

Fatman
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Re: He is not going to be popular in prison

<quote>Next to the soap in the shower.</quote>

No, I have thought it was a different position. (Use your imagination, if I get too explicit, the mods will ban me.)

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Fatman
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Re: So the U.S. is learning from the old Soviet Union.

<quote>I genuinely think he could use some help.</quote>

Actually, I have the cure (a .357 hollow point).

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Outsourcery to perform ULTIMATE outsource as it enters administration

Fatman
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Joke

Re: The Cloud...

<quote>Sometimes it rains shits on your parade.</quote>

FTFY!!!

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