* Posts by Fatman

1623 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

US Census Bureau IT systems hacked, data leaked by Anonymous

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: This is precisely why...

<quote>Where are you going to build such a long wall?</quote>

China has one that might suffice!

0
0

Intelsat to FCC: For the love of satellites, STOP ELON MUSK!

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Status 5

amanfrommars

Is that YOU???

1
0

Jeep hackers broke DMCA, says EFF, and that's stupid

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: DMCA illegality?

<quote> I think I've just invented the remote-control demolition derby ....</quote>

Aka Robot Wars II http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0163488/

Now, instead of destroying ONLY machines, you can terrorize entire populations by taking control of their """connected""" vehicles and cause mayhem.

1
0

Microsoft to spoofed Skype users: Change your account passwords NOW

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: It shows that Microsoft has started working on Skype

For about 25ms, I thought it read security features; but reality checked in.

0
0

Bump and grind is Mozilla's plan for future Firefox OS releases

Fatman
Bronze badge
Happy

RE: They need to spend time on getting TVs and mobiles right,

It looks like that may very well be the case:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/07/17/breaking_fad_android_tv_and_firefox_os_head_to_head/

The "money part" being:

The package is extremely elegant, and couldn’t be more different to Android TV. Indeed, Firefox OS owes more to LG’s webOS than anything else. It’s brilliant and I love it.

Perhaps, once they have demonstrated that they can build a device OS that performs well, they can fire the existing browser developers, and do a re-think of the Firefox browser. It is sorely needed.

0
0

Time for a brutal TELLY-OFF: Android TV versus Firefox OS

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: The thing to remember about Smart TVs...

<quote>every couple o'years needs a valve replacing</quote>

Just wait until you have to replace the CRT!!!!!

1
0

Apple and Samsung are plotting to KILL OFF the SIM CARD - report

Fatman
Bronze badge
FAIL

Re: Wow

HOW fucking CLUELESS can you get???

It is all about DRM - Digital Rights Management - and how you can be locked into only AUTHORIZED uses for a device.

If I buy a SIM card, I can insert it into any phone it will fit into, and use it with that device, or more importantly, use my selected SIM with MY DEVICE as I see fit. Roaming fees and costs are one of-quoted example of why it is done.

Once you make the SIM non removable, and in essence, bolted onto the hardware the user NO LONGER controls how the device is used. An uncooperative, or downright hostile carrier, can prevent the device from leaving (or joining) it's network if it so chooses.

IN THIS INSTANCE, YOU (THE DEVICE OWNER), ARE FUCKED, and there is little you can do about it, because they already have your money, and the device becomes a throwaway item.

Icon most deserving of your failure to understand the underlying motivations behind the carrier-device maker relationship: "Let's scratch EACH OTHER'S BACKS!!!"

8
0
Fatman
Bronze badge
FAIL

Re: Wow

<quote>Do you really think it is in Apple or Samsung's interest to add to a customer's carrier lock-in?</quote>

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

It is all in the name of added dealer profit!!! (In this case, the dealer being the carriers.)

7
0

Mozilla's ‘Great or Dead’ philosophy may save bloated blimp Firefox

Fatman
Bronze badge
FAIL

Firefox

As a long time user of Firefox (since the v3.x days), if I have one thing to say to the devs at Mozilla, it is this:

GODDAMMIT

STOP FUCKING WITH THE U/I AND FIX FIREFOX'S UNDERLYING PROBLEMS!!!

When I upgraded from v28 to v29, the upgrade completely FUCKED OVER my customized profile. Luckily, I had the v28 install file, and reloaded it, and restored the profile from a backup. (Thank YOU FEBE!!! You saved my ass that day!)

23
0

Comcast: We're twice as fast as Google's 1Gbps Fiber (for x4 the price)

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

<quote>And if they do they'll burn your house down.</quote>

No, I though that was Verizon's forte!

http://www.networkworld.com/article/2349543/lan-wan/baby-layla-s-the-latest-to-learn-that-fios-stands-for-fire-is-our-specialty.html

0
0

Imation's CEO races to exit door, grabs $4.8m golden goodbye

Fatman
Bronze badge
FAIL

"Golden" Parachutes for incompetent executives.

$DEITY I wish those incompetent C levels would get what they actually deserve - a LEAD LINED parachute that takes them straight to the ground HARD.

0
0

Sixty-five THOUSAND Range Rovers recalled over DOOR software glitch

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Why?

<quote>The more bells and whistles that are added to cars the more technical problems ensue.</quote>

How else do you insure added dealer profits???? (when the shitty thing breaks after the warranty period.)

2
0
Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Love this...

<quote>What wait a few years until it gets so hard to insure them, that people probably stop buying them THEN do something about it?</quote>

Where I live, there is a prominent legal firm whose TV advertising points out the need to have the vehicles involved in a serious crash inspected by automotive experts.

With "things" like ignition switches that fail, brakes the don't work due to software glitches, and cruise controls that do not disengage; they want to impress potential clients that """accidents""" are not often such a straight forward issue of solely driver negligence.

0
0

Hacking Team: We're the good guys, but SO misunderstood. Like Batman

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

:We're the Good Guys (tm)"

In a word:

BULLSHIT!!!!

Says it all!

3
0

Wow, another NSA leak: Network security code appears on GitHub

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Spaceman Spiff

I think he was taking a jab at the upper reaches of the NSA, not its foot soldiers.

1
1
Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: elDog Please, be the first to take advantage of this fine product

Well apart from those too blinded by the foil wrapped round their heads, it seems.

Well, you can wrap you house, like this guy did:

http://wfla.com/2015/07/09/foiled-tarpon-springs-house-no-longer-an-art-project/

0
0

NASA chooses ace SPACE PILOTS who'll take the USA back into manned flight

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: The Right Stuff

We just need to leave all the politicians, bureaucrats, religion and lawyers behind when we do leave.

Well you are on the correct path, but, we should take them along, and once in orbit, jettison them out the airlock, BOFH style!!!!

</snark>

4
0

We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Nice timing

<quote>but anything the boss needs to see is flipping windows).</quote>

Then get rid of that boss, and get one who isn't married to that P-O/S.

</snark>

5
0

It’s 2015 and we're being told not to send credit cards as cleartext

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Now someone tell the banks

If your little old merchant is expected to abide by these rules, why cant the banks?

BECAUSE the expense doesn't increase shareholder value!!!

</snark>

7
0

What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Fatman
Bronze badge

Focusing Manglement

My usual answer to such is "Do you want me to talk about fixing it, or do you want me to actually just fix it and we can then discuss it later?" I usually find that focuses the mind, even of managers.

Sorry, but I don't agree with you.

The only way to focus a mangler in such situations is the judicious use of a clue-by-four to the head of such mangler. (Or if your name is Simon, you might use a cattleprod, instead.)

Hopefully, with them reeling from that assault, you have time to 'fix things'. Then, you may have to get your resume in order, unless there is a mangler higher up in the corporate org chart that gets it and sends the inane mangler packing.

I am lucky to have a boss that knows that when the shit hits the fan, she does her best to stay out of our hair until things are fixed. Then comes the debriefing, and finger pointing.

3
0

New racks, cables for aging and neglected data centres

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

RE: I Spy an OKIData dot matrix printer in there!

Still holding the last 2K of the report that caused the head carriage to jam; sitting all the while for someone to come in and un-jam it.

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

Waiting!

"Will someone EVER fix me?"

0
0

FCC boss Wheeler: Shove off, big dogs – let the small telcos play

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Wheeler is the surprise hero.

Perhaps for an encore he may try to mandate it on landlines?

Never happen - the telcos have the FCC chair on his (financial) leash, and if he tries to ram things through; they will jerk him back in line, like most punters would do with a disobedient dog.

I mean, he isn't planning to stay with the FCC for the rest of his career, now is he?? Can't fuck up the post-FCC career opportunities, now would he?

1
0

10 things you need to avoid SNAFUs in your data centre

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: And a crowbar

For the aftermath of those pesky resonance cascade scenarios.

No, for use on overbearing manglers who peer over your shoulder and whine about the 'downtime'.

One good whack, and their attitude is adjusted.

0
0
Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: my ha'penny

At a regional progress review meeting a senior HMRC manager had a major strop about public money being used to provide breakfast for contractors.

Was that mangler named Ima. Grouche, by any chance?

Does she bear any resemblance to Rosa Klebb??? (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502322/?ref_=tt_cl_t4)

1
0

It begins: Time Warner Cable first ISP accused of breaking America's net neutrality rules

Fatman
Bronze badge
WTF?

I SWEAR, some of you guys just don't GET this!!!!

After reading the complaint, and the exhibit, I believe that I do.

So, allow me to take a stab at it:

1) His company (Commercial Network Services) has a service which customers of TWC want to access.

2) His company touches the TWC network at THREE1 places where it is possible to DIRECTLY peer with TWC.

3) TWC says (basically) "Fuck NO, unless YOU PAY!!!" If you want to peer FOR FREE with TWC, then use these increased latency peering links.

4) He says:"Hold on TWC, that's a violation of the FCC rules.I am complaining."

Now the ball is in the FCC's court.

tl;dr version: My company provides a service that your customers want, and we both have a presence at three different locations. Connecting ME to YOU is almost as simple a connecting a patch cable from my rack to yours. But, NO, you greedy fuckers want me to run my traffic around the world first, unless I pay YOU. Sound about right???

1 Any2 Los Angeles, NYIIX, and Equinix NYC

2
1

Oi! 'Hands off America's Wi-Fi spectrum' yells, er, the cable lobby

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: What's the point?

So LTE-U will only get to use that spectrum for people very close (probably not much more than 100m) to the tower. Seems like they'd be better off focusing their efforts elsewhere.

Chew on this for a second.

If $TELCO can offline its traffic onto consumer broadband via the use of WiFi in SOHO routers and get that traffic off their networks, why would they NOT want to get THAT FREE LUNCH????

Are they NOT crying the spectrum shortage blues???? ("Look at all of those 'data hogs', our 3G and 4G systems are SWAMPED!!!!")

Food for thought.

2
0

This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Completely and utterly bonkers

Imagine if he'd used valves...

There are several examples of those monstrosities around.

Here is a list:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_vacuum_tube_computers

0
0

UK.gov loses crucial battle in home-taping war with musicians

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: I'm in favour of a pool

Make sure it contains battery acid, not water.

7
0

It's OK – this was an entirely NEW type of cockup, says RBS

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Oh yes it is

Sorry, but all it takes is money and effort.

Which does not sit well with the increased shareholder value crowd.

0
0
Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: du -sh

ever-improving technology STILL can't defend itself against a comma in the wrong bloody place.

At least it wasn't a semi-colon!!!!

(And, NO, I am not going to post a link to that fuck-up, you go find it.)

0
0

Linus Torvalds asks kernel devs to take a break so he can too

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

RE: Ballmer....

since Ballmer was excreted from the twitching and moist colon of Microsoft.

YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD!!!!

2
0

Microsoft picks up shotgun, walks 'Modern apps' behind the shed

Fatman
Bronze badge
WTF?

Moving On...

Nah, I reckon they will jump ship and move to the Unity and Gnome 3 camps.

They'll feel at home there.

Unity: WHO gives a fuck

Gnome 3: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

1
0

That's right: FBI agents can't pretend to be ISP repairmen to search homes without a warrant

Fatman
Bronze badge

RE: Breaking the law...

The only problem is that that law does not specify any penalties for transgression, hence there is really very little disincentive for the government and its agencies to respect it. They are free to keep pushing the limits and outright breaking them.

...

BUT, they do not get to break those laws enshrined in the constitution because those laws are above and beyond the laws enacted by the states or by Congress as they are explicitly there to limit what those bodies can do.

...

If having being caught abusing children disqualifies you from being a teacher (and it should) then being caught breaking the laws of the Constitution should disqualify you from being a law enforcement agent.

Time for Feds to spend some quality time BEHIND BARS!!!!

0
0

Has marketing grabbed the IT reins at your company?

Fatman
Bronze badge

RE: Sacked IT staff

Just recently a VP in the business branch of the corporate I work for sacked an IT team that supported a business unit under him in a cost-cutting effort, leaving the technology side of the business absolutely gobsmacked as we hadn't been consulted on the move.

Time for you and the rest of the IT staff to get your resumes in order.

Let the increased shareholder value buffoons run the IT dept.

1
0

Net neutrality starts this Friday! Kinda! Sorta! It's a little complicated ...

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

"Behind the scenes manouvering"

Just remember boys and girls:

Money TALKS and Bullshit Walks

The telcos are NOT done talking yet.

2
0

Undetectable NSA-linked hybrid malware hits Intel Security radar

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: If it was truly firmware?

And if there is a bug in the firmware, how is it fixed?

EASY, put the firmware chip in a socket, to 'fix', replace the chip in the socket with the fixed version.

8
2

HP coughs up $100 MEEELLION to settle Autonomy lawsuit

Fatman
Bronze badge
FAIL

HP pays out

This only goes to reinforce my belief that HP actually stands for

Hopelessly

Pathetic.

So, did I choose the correct icon for this post? Or would this one be more appropriate:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/joke_32.png

3
0

Private cloud is NOT dead – and for one good reason: Control of data

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: The first rule of hype is to think of a sexy name

Sounds a great idea until the company you outsourced it to goes pop, or you find your American/Chinese competitors that assorted spy agencies also have access.

FTFY!!!

3
1
Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Head in clouds...

Its when you dumb ass management who buy into bullshit from sales people without understanding the risks...

Ah, the joys of MANGLEMENT!!!!!!

0
0
Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Paranoid...

You have described my boss!

ANYONE who even hints at the (public) Cloudtm is subject to summary execution (aka a FIRING).

As long as she is in charge of IT, it will never happen. All of us want to sleep well at night.

5
0

One USB plug to rule them all? That's sensible, but no...

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Not just scart, Also RS232.

Oh, $DEITY, you have brought back memories of interfacing RS-232 serial equipment with compatible plugs.

Is that fucking thing wired DCE or DTE? Did they use the proper gender on the plug and socket?

What a fucking mess, and I am so glad that serial RS-232 has gone away.

1
0

Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

Fatman
Bronze badge
Linux

RE: `new features for desktop users` : Really!!!!

That said, the upgrade is potentially more compelling for Windows 7 users than Windows 8 was, thanks to new features for desktop users (including multiple desktops)

Something Linux has had for years!!!!!

Give me a break!!!!

3
3

Why voice and apps sometimes don't beat an old-fashioned knob

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: IoT

Aren't you missing some letters??

As in

idIoT???

0
0

What scares you most about ‘the cloud’?

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: 2 thumbs down in just a few minutes!

Your(sic) about as bright as a dull burnt out light bulb..

FTFY!!!

3
0

Fumbling Feds lose control of seized MegaUpload domains – to saucy vid slingers

Fatman
Bronze badge
WTF?

Re: Lost goods

Not exactly, Dot.Com lost his MegaUpload assets in a civil forfeiture case, not a criminal one.

Civil forfeiture laws in the ole USofA have been abused by the cops and prosecutors to the point where guilt or innocence doesn't matter. Those fuckers are going to take your toys away, and there is shit you can do about it. In some communities, the police do civil forfeiture on TRAFFIC offenses just to pad their budgets.

Worthless BASTARDS!!!

example: http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/investigations/2015/01/14/brandes-pitching-changes-to-civil-forfeiture-noah-pransky/21705495/

5
0

AT&T, Verizon and pals eat own head in effort to kill off net neutrality

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

RE: The USTelcom effort to prevent new net neutrality rules from taking effect

What is going on here??

In order to get the gubmint to do what I want, I ask them to do the exact opposite.

Those fuckers must have recently read some George Orwell.

IIRC - "double plus ungood???" (Shit it was so LONG ago I forgot the exact quote!)

0
0

NASA picks tools for voyage to possibly LIFE-SUPPORTING moon Europa

Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: I'd like to see life....

And when we finally encounter a superior species, they say to us:

"You dumb fuckers, you can't even live in harmony amongst your own kind, and NOW you want to play in OUR BACK YARD??? Get back on your own rock, and stay there until you learn to play nice with one another. Maybe then you can play in OUR BACK YARD once you have grown up!!!!!"

Anyone care to characterize the politician's reactions?

0
0
Fatman
Bronze badge

Re: Again with the solar power...

You KNOW the REAL reason why they will not use an RTG, don't you????

(Hint Nuclear power is not politically correct, and this stinks of a politically correct decision making process.)

I still remember all of the noise and the big fucking waste of time the enviro-wankers put up over the launch of previous RTG powered probes.

0
1

Shuttleworth delivers death blow in Umbongoland dispute

Fatman
Bronze badge

RE: Stallman were to tell Torvalds that he was no longer the head of the kernel dev team

No, it's more like if Torvalds told someone that if he didn't smarten up he would get booted off the list of people allowed to use Linux kernel infrastructure and would have all his pull requests rejected. Which is exactly what happened to one of the Systemd developers not that long ago (as reported in El Reg).

I wonder who that was????

0
0

FCC to crack down on robocall spammers' beloved loophole

Fatman
Bronze badge
Joke

Blocking Robocalls

I hate to say this - it is a complete waste of time when you are dealing with offshore companies.

The rules simply do not apply to them, and they know it.

Beyond summary execution of the offending scammers involved, there really is no way to stop them. And execution is not much of a deterrent, when you 'waste' one scammer, another crawls our from under its rock to take the place of the newly departed. You are just playing "whack-a-mole", and expending energy in a vain effort to eradicate them.

FTC/FCC fines are just a cost of doing business.

11
0

Forums