75 posts • joined 8 Aug 2006
Anyone who orders a business laptop in beige needs a good talking to with a cattle prod
No need for a title
Surely we need a BOFH Barbie, complete with cattle prod
The problem with Lib Dem election promises
Is that they are more like election dreams.
They may as well say they'll give each voter a free unicorn once they get elected for all the good it will do them.
That's not a Psion rip off
It's a Toshiba Libretto. Takes me back to the 90's though. Happy days
Oi, Car Designers
Where's my flying car? And where's my flying car icon gone?
Universial Scientific Measures
Good to see that we are still using Wales as the size of things as it is clearly a convenient measure. But how many times will 12.8 megatonnes of carbon fit into Wembley stadium, and how many Routemaster buses will create such an amount. Inquisitive minds demand to know
It's clearly a new phenomenon
This never went on 20 years ago. Things like Jamie and his Magic Torch and Chorlton and the Wheelies were obviously created by someone with a sober head
Shamlessly stolen from The Now Show
Showing national distaste for the BNP is getting us now where, no body likes them and they don't care and all that.
What we need to do is all join the BNP, vote Sir Trevor McDonald in as leader and change their name to something silly like Badgers, Not Potatoes.
That'd shut them up
This doesn't surprise me
He's a BMW driver. I have it on good authority that the next versions of the 5 series will come without an indicator control, as they are never used in the current models
37% of the market
Unless they pay some serious bungs, there's not a snowballs chance that this will get through the Monopoly & Merger Commission.
Slow news day
I have one for them. How about a clean, reliable service that doesn't cost the earth.
Until then, I'll stick to the car, thanks
I hear SkyNet calling
Linking this to the "Scientists ponder rules and ethics of robo helpers" story - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/20/royal_academy_of_engineering_autonomous_systems_report_09/ - once our new metallic friends work out that we have a ray gun that will render them inoperable, isn't it just possible they will see us as a threat, and develop human-destroying machines to protect themselves.
Sounds a worryingly familiar scenario
Is the Friday Playmobil coverage of this?
20 seconds to comply
Wasn't this the basis for the plot of Robocop?
You don't want them, you'll go blind....
How about "Where's My Flying Car"
ElNumbre, there is a massive difference between Twitter and ElReg comments. Here on the comments page, it's not my time I'm wasting, it's my company's :)
I used to dream of having a 256Mb stick...
Cash & Carrion
Can we request a "My job came back from India, but due to the economic climate, I'm retraining as a plasterer" T shirt please
You owe my company ANOTHER new keyboard
Guaranteed this will be moved to become a trendy wine bar fill of bowler hatted blokes in Barnsley.
Never mind Jenny Agutter, where will they get a car that can go from London to the Moors faster than the original MG?
Remember the Alamo...
ntended to let soldiers shoot at and hit enemies hiding around corners?
Great, now you don't even have to be in the line of sight to be hit by friendly-fire...
To be fair
If you have to use Arcserve, you're already very unlucky. It being version 13 probably won't make your life any worse
Mine's the one with the DLT drive parts in the pockets.
Points of View
Why oh why oh why must the BBC continually change my computer background. Surly they have more important things to do, like send a load of Z Listers half way round the world to climb a hill or something
The lady doth protest too much, methinks
I thought it was the year of the Ox?
Can you pass me the one with the spring rolls in the pocket, ta
Not only are these available on Google Earth
... but any would be terrorists could get the information for an Ordnance Survey Map and a London A to Z, and could do for the past 30 years or so.
For the love of God, will someone please think of our children, and children's children.
That is all.
So not only do I have to pay for their God-awful food, I now have to pay to get rid of it?
I paid 99p for this ticket, give me the respect I deserve....
It's nice to have a name to this horrible affliction
This reminds me of
The old urban myth of the US Battleship and the lighthouse - http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/l/lighthouseandaircraftcarrier.htm
Nice to see that Entente Cordial is still holding strong
I think we should fight against these spelling fascists
Follow me, comrades, dyslexic IT workers of the world untie
I recall being told a story about how some Scottish students came up with the idea of an "online bookshop" back in the days of Netscape and dial-up 'tinternet.
They built a front end, and asked various governing bodies to help with funding. They were told it would be against competition law and would be unfair to physical bookshops.
Then some American's registered the domain Amazon.com....
Those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them
When and where?
I would like to request a full reconstruction of the funeral.
That is all
High speed wireless data services
That sounds like just what I would want
Unfortunately, prefixing it with BT means I won't
Mines the one with orange hair on it....
Wow, that circuit board wrist strap looks so comfortable....
I for one
would like to welcome our new, tentacle clad overlords.
Forget Star Trek, we want Dungeon Master updated properly.
I'm not afraid of Bill Ray
Mobe? I thought we'd banished that word. I suppose you wrote that article on your lappy....
Mines the one with the Nelly the Elephant logo on the lapels
Peace and love
What's the secret button combo to refuse to sign the high score leader board. Inquisitive minds have a right to know...
Have the local bobbies questioned Naomi Campbell?
"That in this day and age a phone can be released to market that actually just doesn't work is amazing"
We've had outages in our Birmingham, Abingdon and Glasgow offices today. Has someone at the National Grid run out of 50p's?
Feel free to add to the list....
Presumerbly this story is linked with this - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/10/graphics_card_wireless_hacking/
If your laptop's running that hot
Your fan's broken
I wonder why he doesn't do his cunning stunts in the UK any more...
It still makes me smile, the image of the burger van positioned directly under him for 44 days. Genius
In a quote from the boffins...
They said, "There have been speculations that the Universe is not in its most stable configuration, and that perturbations caused by the LHC could tip it into a more stable state, called a vacuum bubble, in which we could not exist, unless one of the magnets goes titsup, in which case you can wave Mont Blanc goodbye"
What they need is some catchy music for the live stream of the initial launch and dock. I wonder if Brian May and Eddie Van Halen are available - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjijteu0gcQ
Just call it a speeder and be done with it.
Oh, and where's my flying car icon?
- Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM
- Feature Be your own Big Brother: Monitoring your manor, the easy way
- Boffins say they've got Lithium batteries the wrong way around
- In a spin: Samsung accuses LG exec of washing machine SABOTAGE
- Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer