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* Posts by Will Parker

5 posts • joined 27 Mar 2008

New ISS piss-recycler still troublesome

Will Parker
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Why don't astronauts drink their own piss?

Isn't urine-drinking a daily ritual for, like, 20 million people across the globe? I happen to know of a friend who doesn't spill a drop... he's also into wine-nasal-imbibing, but I won't get into that here.

Why not get the astronauts to routinely drink whatever comes out of their astro-willy/pussy? Its entirely safe - as long as it isn't your only source of water as the urea concentrations start to get too high and your kidneys would pack in. But normal urine is fine - perhaps a little salty, but certainly not life-threatening. In fact, it even has antiseptic qualities. According to those in the know, its also a very good way of regulating your water intake. If you're urine is too salty - you know you need to take on more of that fresh, lovely H20.

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McKinnon supporters plan Home Office demo

Will Parker

Gary's admitted he hacked NASA

Gary's on record as admitting that he was the person who hacked into the US Government networks. So he broke the law in the US.

In response to Raymond's point above - its important to remember that the extradition treaty is one way - i.e. the US won't extradite a US citizen to face trial for a crime they might have committed in the UK. That seems unfair to me. .Perhaps the UK Government could withold Gary and use him as a political pawn. If the US want their man, they must sign the reciprocal extradition treaty.

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UK.gov will force paedophiles to register email addresses

Will Parker
Joke

Is it still April 1st?

I'm glad el Reg carried this story to point out the blindingly bloody obvious flaw in Wacqui's goddamn stupid and utterly futile statement.

I thought I'd come up with some more headline grabbing but frikkin stupid policies which anyone with a modicum of intelligence can see is totally unworkable, useless and demonstrates total ignorance.

1. Make all drugs illegal... no more paracetemol, no more prescription drugs, no more alcohol (oh, the Yanks got there first with that last one)

2. A total ban on egg sandwiches. They stink, right?

3. Anyone passing on a contagious disease is to be imprisoned in NHS hospitals. No excuses - if you've got the common cold, you gotta walk out into the wilderness, Scott of the Antarctic stylee.

4. Anyone using a ten pound note that's got traces of cocaine on it is presumed to be a dealer in class As.

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El Reg reconstructs Heathrow T5 chaos

Will Parker
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More re(tro)constructions please

Pissed myself laughing - nice one. I second the motion for more reconstruction of weekly events in playmobil / lego.

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Teachers crucified by coughing pupils

Will Parker

What's the problem?

It strikes me that we'll never improve the situation in classrooms. But that doesn't have to be such a bad thing. The classroom is a microcosm of life. Some kids will never want to learn and will continue to be disruptive in adult life. Some swats will always avoid any form of trouble and simply get on with learning, regardless of whether or not they possess any intelligence. They're the boring ones in the office who rarely engage in banter but who you can rely on to know who in HR deals with pay. And then there's a whole spectrum of all of us inbetween who occassionally get too drunk but turn up to work and then come home and play playstation with their teenage son.

Sometimes messing around in class was exactly what was needed. Is adult life all about sitting aroundly silently like a monk? Unless you are actually a monk, of course. But our world wouldn't be much fun if we were all monks...

As other comments have testified, classroom pranks often brought the kids together. 'Best times of our lives'. Learning how to make others laugh, displaying healthy levels of non-conformity. These are critical aspects of a dynamic society.

So, I say to the kids - carry on with your funny pranks (but don't physically injure anyone). And I say to all those uptight adults who can't handle kids having fun - lighten up, or I might give you a wedgie.

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