* Posts by JassMan

188 posts • joined 26 Mar 2008

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Boffins unwrap honeybee black box recorder project

JassMan
Joke

That's some processor

Interesting that the chip has a "duel-core CPU". Is there enough room in there for a sword, or do they have to use bee sized pistols at dawn. We need more facts. Does it have an RTC with alarm function or are the bees expected to wake up with the sun.

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'Photof*cket' men manacled, indicted over Photobucket password-protected pic plunder

JassMan
WTF?

What's the fraud?

If they sold an app and it did what it said on the tin, how can it be fraud? It may be used for illegal purposes but surely most of the fault lies with poor security at photobucket. They have a serious problem if a guest account has access to users private files.

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Going up hills past blokes with coke-bottle legs: The Smart E-bike

JassMan
Trollface

135m climb?

You want to come to the Cevennes in France. There are plenty of small hills with a 1Km vertical climb averaging 1 in 12. I am sure they are easy compared to L'Alpe d'Huez, but you know it when you have been for a 30km run. Once you get back to London you won't even notice that little 135m climb.

Should be a good place to do a REAL test of of electric assistance, and the views if you cross the Gorge du Tarn, or climb the Corniche are spectacular.

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PICTURE-TASTIC: Microsoft woos devs to HoloLens virtuo-goggs

JassMan
Joke

battery pack around your neck?

So, was it a brick a la mobile phone from the 80s or was it a millstone.

Then again, even though they must have reduced its power consumption a bit to allow for an internal battery, it still looks rather clunky compared to googles glass

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Why the US government reckons it should keep phone network kill-switches a secret

JassMan

why are the lawyers arguing over the word ANY?

By their own admission, clause 7F states " exemption 7F of the act, which states records do not have to be disclosed where release..." Well as it happens, the EFF aren't asking for any records, they are asking for the text of the SOP itself.

ianal but as I read 7F, it is a means for public servants to hide their responsabilty for actions such as the BART incident, not a means of hiding the predefined procedure.

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The huge flaw in Moore’s Law? It's NOT a law after all

JassMan
FAIL

No wonder the kids aren't educated anymore

Fancy someone being a professor and not knowing that Moore's quotation is not a law. Surely it is an axiom but he could have been a bit alliterative and called it Moore's Maxim

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Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

JassMan
Trollface

Re: So they're finally out! @ Captain DaFt

If your ring smarts, I would advise following the little pepper symbols on the Indian menus a bit more closely. Just one less pepper can often make all the difference. Also try eating more yoghurt at the same time.

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Yahoo! spaffs! out! plugin! to! bring! crypto! to! everyone's! email!

JassMan
Trollface

@John H Woods

Nice idea but I'm sure the UK gov will make it illegal to post messages such as yours once GCHQ notice a flurry of messages with double encryption. They may not know who the recipient is intended to be, but they will certainly be able to force el Reg to reveal your identity even if you had posted as AC.

I haven't bothered seeing if I can find your public key but I assume you only used your own key. To be able to send private messages, you need to also to use the public key of your recipient. This becomes a bit unwieldy as an email system, since everyone who knows you has to try to decrypt every message you post to see if any particular message is intended for them. Would anyone ever bother decrypting every AC post in case one was intended for them?

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LOHAN chap compiles 'tenner a week' cookbook

JassMan
Thumb Up

@Neil - epub

If you are having problems making a hardware version, do you have it available for ebooks? At that price I would happily pay the same for a Kobo version and presumably, you would then have more dosh to give to the charity.

I am sure a large percentage of reg readers would also welcome an ebook file.

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Musk: 'Tesla's electric Model S cars will be less crap soon. I PROMISE'

JassMan
Pint

@Mark 85

I've always wondered why they don't have a backup power unit comprising a small "A" frame trailer with a single castor wheel and a small diesel generator which you could buy or rent when you are going on holiday. The advantage of an "A" frame trailer is that anyone can reverse them without struggling to remember the complicated method of steering a normal trailer, and also the 2 legs could carry the power so that you don't need a separate power cable. Control signals to stop and start the generator, switch on brake lights and indicators etc could also be injected as HF pulses onto one leg meaning that there is nothing to plug in.

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Boffins brew up FIRST CUPPA in SPAAACE using wireless energy (well, sort of)

JassMan
WTF?

Will nobody think of the pigeons (and microlight pilots)?

Already we have architects making curved building which cook the paint off cars, sculptors making parabolic mirrors as "art" which almost vaporises pigeons before they fall out of the beam and now they want to use a microwave not contained inside a faraday cage. No matter how accurate they can beam to a given point on earth there will always things which can't read the signs before they fly through the restricted airspace above the receivers.

Since someone has already mentioned a space elevator, why not build 2, then they can use them as both conductors of a power cable. Send it as HVDC and you could achieve much lower losses than any micro wave.

Is it too late to patent a system of parachutes attached to the elevator cables such that in the event of the satellite becoming detached, the chutes act just like the drogue on a glider tow line.

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ATTENTION SETI scientists! It's TOO LATE: ALIENS will ATTACK in 2049

JassMan
WTF?

Has anyone ever done the maths?

The outgoing signal from Arecibo may have been up 30TW EIRP but the transmitter was only 1AU away from a white noise source producing over 100YW EIRP. I dont know what the sig/noise is at whatever frequency they are planning to use but I find it hard to believe it is greater than unity.

Also, even with the best optical telescopes, exoplanets can only be resolved if they are an order of magnitude further than 1AU away from their star. So the chances of someone sitting on an exoplanet being able to resolve a 2GHz(ish) radio signal and block the noise from the sun and filter out the CMB is less than the chance of seeing with the naked eye, a gnat taking a piss while sitting on the horizon at sunset.

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Behind every great tech boss there’s ... who exactly?

JassMan
Unhappy

Don't know about the great tech bosses

but behind the not so great ones you'll find an auditing team, who discover that not only has the CTO's "great" outsourcing deal not saved any money, but a year after he has moved to greener pastures, the IT costs increase at least 20% year on year.

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Microsoft launches wobbly Windows 10 phone preview for Lumia daredevils only

JassMan
Stop

No help for long suffering 1020 users then

Having broken the Lumia 1020 with an untested 8.1 upgrade, they have now prevented their users from seeing if the new OS offers any relief at all. Surely if would benefit MicroShaft to found out if the same power logic problems exist in the new OS as well otherwise it will be a case of history repeating itself.

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IBM says dating apps can give you a nasty infection DOWN THERE!

JassMan
Joke

Bunch of killjoys

"users running sex scheduling software on their smartphones"

If you have to have a schedule to to decide when to have a bit of nooky, it sure takes all the fun out of it. What happened to spontaneity?

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Europe just flew titchy reusable SPACEPLANE IXV around the planet

JassMan
Trollface

Interesting definition of rudders

From all the pictures on other sites and those in the article it looks more like the craft is equipped with a pair of elevons directly on the body, without any fins/stabilising surfaces. I would guess that steering is accomplished by rolling and letting the "lift" pull the craft round in the desired direction. I would guess that "lift" is also a relative term, but obviously better than a brick. Mind you I have heard that an F111 has a glide ratio of 7:1 ie 7m sink for each metre of forward flight, if you have a flameout.

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SWINGBELLIES! Take heed! Drinking WINE is good for your LIVER

JassMan

Seems like the French are rather clever

They have been eating foie grass entier à la cartagene for years. Lovely fatty meat product with built-in antidote, and it tastes quite nice to boot. Make sure you buy from an ethical producer (yes - they do exist,) as the commercial method is a worthy target for animal rights protesters.

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Dissidents and dealers rejoice! Droid app hides your stash in plain sight

JassMan
Trollface

No matter how many laws they make

technology will always be one step ahead

BWAH HAHA HA

I also like the idea of an invisible icon you have to tap more than the usual number of times to make it activate.

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France enacts law to block terror and child sexual abuse sites

JassMan
FAIL

Bet they will be as efficient as UK gov

'Blocked sites will have a redirect, so users trying to access those sites will be “directed to an information page of the Interior Ministry” which will explain why sites are blocked, and offering information about remedies (if a site is incorrectly blocked).'

But either the Interior ministry will forget they need to put up the explication page, or the server will fall over as soon as traffic gets redirected to it, or they will fail to tell the ISPs where to find the page to redirect to.

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Shy, retiring British spies come out as MEGA HACKERS

JassMan
FAIL

It only takes the government 14 yrs to comply with their own laws.

"This code is issued pursuant to section 71 of the 2000 Act, which provides that the Secretary of State

shall issue one or more codes of practice in relation to the powers and duties in section 5 of the 1994 Act."

Not that it will make any difference:- any code of practice will be ignored by GCHQ anyway.

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Ex-squeeze me? Baking soda? Boffins claim it safely sucks CO2 out of the air

JassMan

Re: Umm, so not baking soda then?

I think it not the elReg journalist but the "scientist". If you look at other versions of the story on the web, it appears to be the spokesman for the lab who repeatedly uses "baking soda" in his explanation in place of washing soda.

I think most people agree that the recipes produced by other elRegers are usually quite palatable.

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LICKED: Behold my TOAD-PROOF ERECTION, boasts Aussie boffin

JassMan

@adam1

Ahh! so thats why they're called banana benders. They have had their minds warped by toad licking.

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US Ambassador: No, net neutrality will NOT allow the UN to seize control of the internet from us

JassMan
Thumb Up

Give the man a medal

"There is a distinction between internet access and the content and services delivered over the internet, "

At last, an official who knows something about technology. Maybe he even knows the difference between data and metadata. If only a few more politicos knew enough to stop "big business", NSA and GCHQ from trying to pull the wool over everyone's eyes.

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NASA greenlights SpaceX and Boeing to carry crew to ISS in 2017

JassMan
Joke

Special cargo

>>"The Boeing CST-100 capsule will carry four crew members and a load of cargo and John Elbon"

What? Is he an alien and not count as crew, does he occupy more space than any conceivable cargo, or does he get to travel on every journey regardless of who the anonymous crew members are?

And then I re-read the rest of the sentence. Methinks 'tis time for a campaign about commas to match the one on apostrophes.

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Atlas unplugged! DARPA's unTerminator robot cuts the power cable

JassMan

What can possibly go wrong?

They tell us not to worry 'cos its got a wireless kill switch and yet one of the tests is to saturate the test zone with parasitic radio signals to test the wifi. Excuse me, but if it runs amok because its internal wifi has been overcome, surely it is unlikely to respond to respond to the kill as well.

Maybe they should have equipped it with laser detectors like they use in proper wargames.

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Microsoft Outlook PENETRATED by Chinese 'man-in-the-middle'

JassMan
Joke

Maybe this is where Theresa May has been getting her ideas

see title - reg forum - the new twitter

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Snowden doc leak 'confirms' China stole F-35 data

JassMan
Joke

They may be able to build a perfect copy

... But it will probably fall out of the sky the instant it flies inverted or pulls a 2G turn. Their alloys may be perfectly identical in terms of chemical composition, but they just don't how to do heat treatment etc. That's lucky for us or they would have taken over the world by now.

You can tell this by comparing the strength of screws you buy in DIY shops (all made in China) against those that come from specialist suppliers eg.GKN

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Stop viewing Facebook at work says Facebook at work on Facebook at Work

JassMan
FAIL

So hows that going to work?

Even if some employer decides to set up a Facebook@work, no sane sysadmin is going to let the FB@W server grab adds to serve up to the captive audience.

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'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely

JassMan

Re:Real time is no good (How to talk to foreigners) ------------->

Have an upvote for the right hand half of the title and icon.

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Google unleashes build-it-yourself 'Ara' SLABLET phones (in Puerto Rico)

JassMan
Facepalm

Connectors?

Interesting that the inter-module connectors are different between the still and the video. Which is the one being released?

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Australia tries to ban crypto research – by ACCIDENT

JassMan

re: henceforth to be kmows as...

Vegemite surely - they don't have marmite down under.

Have the Aussies managed to introduce any new laws in the last 5 years which are fit for purpose? It seems that every month there is some new law put on the statute books which may or may not have good intentions but seems to only fix half a problem.

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Samsung's first Tizen smartphone is HERE ... by which we mean India

JassMan

Nice price point

If it really is only $92, it sounds like a good value little phone. I would happily pay £92stg for a phone with that spec although I would prefer a few more pixels. The Raspberry Pi shows that running linux linux in 256MB will make the 768MB a real luxury.

Hopefully they will release an upgraded version for the European/US market. Just hope they don't get attacked yet again for those nicely rounded corners.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'NAUTS FLEE 'gas leak' to Russian module

JassMan

True for the whole world

"Harmful emissions detected on American segment"

And now they want want to make sure the whole of Europe suffers from GMOed, over-hormoned, agricultural produce with no flavour by corrupting our governments with the promise of benefits from TAFTA, TTIP etc.

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Apple v Ericsson: Yet ANOTHER patent war bubbles over

JassMan
Trollface

Strange how fruity patents are so valuable

When anyone has a patent which Apple wants, it is only worth 1 or 2 cents per unit but when anyone else needs to put round corners on a rectangle that it is worth several dollars .

On another note, I have always wondered why friends with "sent from my iphone" sigs always wrote in french with no accents. Having been asked to input a couple of addresses into one of said friends iphones and selecting "french keyboad" I now know why. It may be possible, but from a company which prides itself on making everything so easy a chimp could use it, I am b*ggered if I can find how you put in accents.

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IBM: Hey, Intel and pals. Look on our massive patent pile and despair

JassMan
Trollface

Never mind the quality, feel the width.

The real question is not how many they have filed, but how many are useful for improving life on this rock. Are they patents which can actually be implemented to create something useful, or are they descriptions of prior art intended to stop other corps with a lot of lawyers from suing.

Ok, there was the (in)famous case of some fruity corporation making a load of dosh from round corners but that was a design so obvious that the patent should never have been granted in the first place, and they certainly shouldn't have been given damages for infringement. When all is said and done, at the microscopic level everything has round corners. Go smaller and everything has raggedy corners.

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SURPRISE: Norks' Linux distro has security vulns

JassMan
Trollface

Impressive computing power shown in that picture

http://regmedia.co.uk/2014/02/04/kim_jong_un_computer.jpg?x=648&y=429&crop=1

Being a nork computer it probably has the processing power of a Raspberry Pi.

Maybe Lady Ada could produce a matching cabinet for the Pi. Should leave plenty of room for expansion!

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Paris terror attacks: ISPs face pressure to share MORE data with governments

JassMan

Competence or Incompetence

The incompetence of the French police in not using data they already had, was only exceeded by the terrorists themselves in their "synchronised" attacks. Synchronised out of time by about 5 hours is like the rotation of the moon around the earth being synchronised with the earth around the sun. Steve Bell's cartoon in the Guardian at the time summed it up with the the terrorist saying "Why are the f*ckers still laughing at us?". This doesn't even take into account that if they had waited a month Charlie would have died a natural death due to bankruptcy and is now likely to bounce back stronger than ever.

Hopefully Charlie Hebdo will be able to continue with their new found support and attack incompetence wherever it occurs.

It is also a shame that some imam didn't point out to the brothers that committing suicide while shooting at people doesn't make you a martyr.

Note to would-be martyrs: Look up the story of Alban (now a saint) and Verulamium.

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Oi, UK.gov. WHERE'S THE DETAIL on your Google Tax?

JassMan
Trollface

They had better write this law pretty quick and get it right

TAFTA is coming even though not one man in the street thinks it is a good idea. As soon as TAFTA is implemented, the global corps will just sue the government and get their money back because the main principle of the "agreement" is that governments should not be allowed to do anything that hits the bottom line of of the megacorps.

Have you written to your MP yet?

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

JassMan
Happy

@james 51

They should have done that 'cos there is already a Raspbian remix which allows you to emulate loads of old hardware. Then you could actually run all that old already paid for software.

In fact they would have gained a lot more credibilty by just selling the spectrum lookalike case with a decent keyboard. The 2 things which really let down the the ZX were the crap keys which only responded to 1 in 3 keypresses and as noted above, the crap video. Ignoring of course the overall reliability, the data storage systems and almost everything else about them.

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You think the CLOUD's insecure? It's BETTER than UK.GOV's DATA CENTRES

JassMan
Unhappy

Never mind the security

I was pissed off when paying for my taxdisc while waiting over 3 minutes for something called s1-eu-west.amazonaws.com or somesuch to try to find its arse. To add insult to injury, I had time to open a new tab and read the page that said you have a choice between using the beta software or the previous version - no you bloody don't. Then I read all the wonderful desktop stats that said page loads in the last 24 hours all happened in less that 0.92s (again they bloody don't). About a minute after I returned to the original tab, it eventually displayed the next stage of the process.

It may have saved the guvmint a couple of grand by outsourcing to amazon, but I would rather they taxed them what they should be paying and used the money to run an in-house service with a half decent response time. I can only assume the pretty stats are self certified by amazon, so that the minister-of-outsourcing can claim the new service is an improvement.

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Internet Society slams online 'UN Security Council' plan, snubs permanent seat offer

JassMan
Trollface

NETindenial Initiative

There! Fixed it for them

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SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS

JassMan
Joke

Time for penguins to unite

Warning: the following torture of the English language may cause as much pain as being squashed under a fur seal.

Maybe penguinistas should start a special interest group called:

Protection

Of

Penguins in

Seal

Infested

Countries

Lacking

Equality of

Species

or POPSICLES

</sorry>

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

JassMan
Unhappy

The pics dont show they found it at all

It would have been nice to to have some sort of a scale on the photo, but given that the pics are only 5 mins apart and show that philae is climbing and has moved at least 20-30 times its diameter mean that it must have been 500-1000 times its diameter further away when it hit the second time and moved again before its final landing place many times the width of the photo off to the right.

I guess at least they now know where to have a proper look.

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Facebook, working on Facebook at Work, works on Facebook. At Work

JassMan
Trollface

There is intelligence in corporations after all.

> Up until now, Facebook has been largely shunned by the corporate world, given its propensity for time-wasting during office hours. The site is banned on many company networks.

AND SO IT SHOULD BE.

I note also that the author made the usual mistake of saying "Free content" as opposed to the more descriptive "Content free"

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Cray heaves out even mightier, Lustre-ous Sonexion 2000

JassMan
Facepalm

Bet the Met Office wish they had waited

before spaffing 97MegaQuid on an XC40. No doubt this new one will be a lot more expensive though.

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UK digi exclusion: Poor families without internet access could 'miss out' on child tax credit

JassMan
Trollface

About time they told the truth

Unless you are a personal friend of an MP or live in a million pound mansion, you are no longer entitled to any government handouts. Obviously the more money you have got the more they are prepared to give you.

On a more serious note, shouldn't they at least have ensured that the internet is available in 100% of the countryside. Otherwise it conflicts with the plan to get all the poor out of the towns and cities so that they are out of sight out of mind.

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'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?

JassMan
Mushroom

Re: Awards to ACs

Perhaps now is the time to award ACs who get absolutely massive downvotes consistently. I would suggest an upside down black version of the Gold/Silver/Bronze which would show on future ACs form the commentard and it they persist in peddling utter tripe, carries on to their non-AC comments as well.

Perhaps more than 200 downvotes in 12months makes your ACs show the badge, more than 500 in 12 months transfers to your real posts.

I am sure many feel the AC system is abused, and if you have something valid to say, you should have the courage of your convictions. However, there are valid reasons for using AC, hence the "warning" award on the AC before transfer to named postings.

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Apple: Want a PATCH for iOS Masque attack? TOUGH LUCK, FANBOI

JassMan

Just because the man on the street

doesn't know how to find out if he has picked up malicious software, it doesn't mean that no fruity machines have been taken over by this dastardly piece of evilness. 90% of the population, having had their bank accounts, email accounts, their facebooks etc. taken over, wouldn't know wheter it was the result of dodgy software on their phone, the result of a phishing attack on their desktop or the wife's dog having messed around with the bitch on heat 3 doors away.

How can Apple continue to be so complacent about their security after so many fails in the past couple of years?

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WATCH Rosetta's Philae's SUCCESSFUL drop on Comet 67P

JassMan

The feed on the BBC seems better

until a milllion other people make the same discovery

http://www.bbc.com/news/live/science-environment-29985988

or until i post this whichever comes first

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'National roaming' law: Stubborn UK operators to be FORCED to share

JassMan

French mobes aren't just better when roaming internationally

All the French operators support a virtual network called F-Contact on their transmitters which clients of all the others can use when their own network has a poor signal. It only operates in "zones blanches" where operators find it hard to justify the capital expenditure of all networks having full coverage. OK, the only outgoing calls you can make on F-Contact are to the emergency services, but you can text a friend and get them to call you back.

Logically there should be no reason why UK operators can't get together to provide the same service.

fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_blanche

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