* Posts by Dick Pountain

211 posts • joined 20 Mar 2008

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Devs, welcome your EVIL ROBOT OVERLORDS from MIT

Dick Pountain

The Last One. Again.

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KRAKKOOM! SpaceX Falcon supply mission to ISS EXPLODES minutes after launch

Dick Pountain

They say there are no atheists in a foxhole: I'll bet there are about as many Musk fanboiz on the space station

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Why OH WHY did Blighty privatise EVERYTHING?

Dick Pountain

Sounds pretty sane to me, and the bit about foreign public utilities behaving more efficiently abroad is really interesting. Perhaps every nation should run some *other* nation's utilities, like an economic secret santa...

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Why is that idiot Osbo continuing with austerity when we know it doesn't work?

Dick Pountain

Austerity does work, for what it's really intended to do, which is to demolish the welfare state and employment rights. It's just that you thought it was about "balancing the budget", which indeed doesn't need to be done.

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Couple sues estate agent who sold them her mum's snake-infested house

Dick Pountain

Charge them extra for the snakes - good for keeping away pedants

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Microsoft to TAKE OUT THE TRASH in the Windows Store

Dick Pountain

Re: Crap apps in app stores

"I tells" you, please

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Dick Pountain

Just did a count-up of how many apps I'm using in Windows 8.1 and it's *zero*. Lots of luck in reducing that Microsoft.

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Ding-dong, the cloud calling: The Ring Video Doorbell

Dick Pountain

If the whole thing is wired to the mains then perhaps a relay could be added to electrocute unwelcome callers?

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Astroboffins perplexed by QUADRUPLE QUASAR CLUSTER find

Dick Pountain

May I be the first to use and copyright the name "The God Cluster" for this phenomenon, ready for when the tabloids latch onto it

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Facebook echo chamber: Or, the British media and the election

Dick Pountain

If we nuke it from orbit it's very likely we'll miss and hit Belgium. Better a selective campaign from 1000 feet that carefully avoids Camden Town...

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Boffins turns landfill WinPhones into microscopes

Dick Pountain

The Olympus microscope has a lovely smile though

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It's the FALKLANDS SYNDROME! Fukushima MELTDOWN to cause '10,000 Chernobyls' in South Atlantic

Dick Pountain

Take this Lollipop

Google beat you all to the punch by releasing Lollipop a full six months before April Fools' Day

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Dick Pountain

Re: too soon

I assume you meant "tink"

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Caption this: CERN needs pic tags. Serious answers only, kids

Dick Pountain

Photo #1: "Damn it! This is Pentax fit and I *told* them I have a Nikon-fit mouth"

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Mono Magic: Photography, Breaking Bad style

Dick Pountain

Re: It is techno-Luddism

Seconded. Who wants to wait a day and spend a fortune developing rolls of film that only have one worthwhile pic on them, again? Just take your digital SLR (or probably buy an old Sony Alpha as cheap as a film camera), set its P mode to Black & White, then like Novatone says, think about your composition as if you only have three tries.

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Quantum computers have failed. So now for the science

Dick Pountain

Re: nice article....

Carver Mead is the analogue man and he's still alive, but getting on a bit so I'm not sure how active he is in chip design any more. He also did original work on "collective electrodynamics" which has some bearing on the topic of this article.

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HELP! Windows Phone update 8.1 broke my Lumia

Dick Pountain

All the smartphone companies are losing it - I just had the famous Lollipop problem with a Nexus 7 2012, and Apple had a similar debacle a few years back. The complexity of the hardware is running ahead of ability of QR to keep up and breaking the previously friendly remote update model. Only real solution is to provide equally friendly roll-back to stable version (on Android it's a techies-only image download and manual install).

None of them want to do it, because secretly they don't mind these bork-fests, which scare people into buying next gen hardware and thus prevent Windows XP-style log-jams.

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Silicene takes on graphene as next transistor wonder-stuff

Dick Pountain

The only reason we have all the digital gadgets we do is the benign scaling behaviours of CMOS and lithographic fab techniques. Until something equally benign found for graphene, silicene, quantum dots or whatever they won't happen - and it's never certain such methods will exist.

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Dick Pountain

Walking out of the cinema is the acid test: I've only walked three times in the last 30 years, from "Absolute Beginners", "City of Lost Children" and "Romance and Cigarettes". All from directors I'd loved who crossed a line into the twee...

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What gets the internet REALLY excited? Kittens? No. EXPLODING Kittens

Dick Pountain

This has inspired me to launch my unicorn milking machine Kickstart, and I've got The CornedBeef on board!

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Intel offers big bucks for black women

Dick Pountain

So El Reg finally got a KKK subeditor - no big surprise

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OnePlus vs Micromax: Dream of Google-less Android now further away

Dick Pountain

Or indeed about any firm that opts not to spend a decade writing its own proprietary operating system (or for that matter any citizen who fails to build their own subway or sewage system). Let's all "disrupt" those smelly old common goods!

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Robox: How good could a sub-£1k 3D printer be?

Dick Pountain

Re: Sub-Ed still on holiday?

Pattern, plattern, platter? Try "platen" or "platten"? A little known hazard of 3D printing is its damaging effect on verbal skills: "Tech isn't where we'd hoped, but if you want it now, it's waiting for you."

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The Nokia ENIGMA THING and its SECRET, TERRIBLE purpose

Dick Pountain

It's clearly a secure box to store all your old redundant Rolexes in

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Poll trolls' GCHQ script sock puppets manipulate muppets

Dick Pountain

I'm saving the headline to this article as a test piece for my natural language parsing code efforts: it defeated me so how can a poor computer cope?

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Dick Pountain

Re: AH HA!!!!

And one of the Hoo Haas has a most unsightly hydrocele too. The show is a urologists nightmare...

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GOD particle MAY NOT BE GOD particle: Scientists in shock claim

Dick Pountain

Techno-angels?

I think this a ruse to get us all to stump up for a new pin-head

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At last! Now you can STIFLE dull chums you can't really unfriend on Facebook

Dick Pountain

Indeed it has. I've been doing it for a couple of years. You used to go to the Friends pulldown and untick "Show in Newsfeed": more recently you do it from top right corner arrow. So why is this news?

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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

Dick Pountain

Can we blame Steven Fry? Please?

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KRAKKOOOM! Space Station supply mission in PODULE PRANG EXPLOSION CHAOS

Dick Pountain

This "xxxx anomaly" trope is now likely to enter the language I'm afraid: the Krakatoa Vulcanism Anomaly, the Hiroshima U235 Anomaly and the Sept 11th Trade Center Anomaly.

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Dick Pountain

Re: Saw similar problem on a pair of compact binoculars

Trichlorethylene worked a treat when my Wacom Bamboo stylus went the sticky way. It smells delightful, gives you cancer and destroys the ozone layer. I bought mine in Italy where it's still permitted...

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Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!

Dick Pountain

More like cat v sabretooth tiger I fear

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Female! ex-Yahoo! coder! says! female! boss! fired! her! for! refusing! sex!

Dick Pountain

Re: Digital Sex

That's it then, no more boring analog sex for me!

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Thought PCs were in the toilet? They're STILL eating Apple's lunch

Dick Pountain

No mystery here, £500 is the new sweet spot, and both HP and Lenovo offer nice kit at that point.

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Call girl injected Google exec with heroin, drank wine, left him to die – cops claim

Dick Pountain

Sex 'n Drugs 'n

It's official folks, search is the new rock 'n roll

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It's finally happened: Bloke builds BOFH-style goofing-off cattle prod

Dick Pountain

Dope Amine

Billa Bong is on the right track here - rewards are far more effective than punishments. This chap needs instead to base his device on those electric probes they use to harvest bull semen for artificial insemination. Worn conveniently out-of-sight up the jacksy, it would cause you to ejaculate every time you scored a point in the office power struggle.

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Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE

Dick Pountain

Re: Who at Microsoft is making up the names... and why do they still have a job?

No Country for Old Windows XP Users

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Commonwealth Bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL

Dick Pountain

Foot, meet bullet

A bit like Starbucks announcing that it has added cyanide antidote to all its coffee...

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Selfies are OVER: Welcome to the age of 'Sleeveface'

Dick Pountain

Mmmmgh..

I like it I want try it. Oh, morning nurse <gulp> thanks

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

Dick Pountain

Injunction

Actually we Arapahoe do have a word for pliers, but we call them "pincers"

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

Dick Pountain

No sex

HTML is certainly a disease, but from what I've seen of web developers I seriously doubt that it's transmitted by real-world sexual contact,

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Pine trees' scent 'could prevent climate change really being a problem'

Dick Pountain

Clutching

This is a new one, clutching at pine needles. It used to be straws.

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Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Dick Pountain

Mental Health

I think it's sweet that Apple should be supporting "outsider art". I do too, I have a teacup with "Lobsters" written on it and with a tiny severed human head inside, made by a highly creative inmate of our local loony bin. Of course the Jobs statue doesn't quite reach that standard....

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Bitcoin value plunges as Mt.Gox halts withdrawals and Russia says 'nyet'

Dick Pountain

Re: I wonder if it was deliberate?

Of course it could be that these trading firms don't have enough real money to redeem all the Bitcoins that have been "mined". Nah, that couldn't be it, because that would make Bitcoin a Ponzi scheme...

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Judge: Google owes patent troll a 1.36% cut of AdWords' BEELLIONS

Dick Pountain

Couldn't agree more. Patents have no place in science, including software. Trolls are the vilest and most naked kind of parasitic rentier.

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Stephen Fry rewrites computer history again: This time it's serious

Dick Pountain

Like almost every other media person Steven Fry has bought into the Jobsian religion, which tells him that he is a "creative" and hence superior to ordinary PC-using schmucks

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MANIC MINERS: Ten Bitcoin generating machines

Dick Pountain

Milk It!

If you ever get bored with bitcoin mining, I've invented a unicorn milking machine and am looking for kickstart finance...

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Sinclair’s 1984 big shot at business: The QL is 30 years old

Dick Pountain

Scrabble

My favourite memory of the QL was that when our review machine arrived some of the key caps had fallen off in the box, making it a bit like a game of Scrabble.

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Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

Dick Pountain

Land of the free and home of the mental

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Calling all Spare Rib veterans: Sisters, don't lose your rights!

Dick Pountain

To handle the trolling problem they could change it to a "NoDerivs" Creative Commons licence.

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