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* Posts by Tim Cuthill

8 posts • joined 7 Aug 2006

Russians tell aliens to suck on a fat one

Tim Cuthill
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For God's sake!

I know it may have sounded like a good idea to run a "cock gag" theme (wranking-cock, downloader-small-coc and now this), but surely there's only so much cock you can expect us to take in one day?

Oops, sorry....

Tim

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Jesus appears in Samsung Flash memory chip

Tim Cuthill
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I reckon...

...that it looks a tad like Lemmy Motorhead meself.

Is it particularly speedy flash Ram perchance?

Tim

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BT brings Wii-like remote control to PCs

Tim Cuthill
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Sense this motion sunshine.....

If you drop kick it across the room, does this trigger the deletion of Windows and the start of a Linux install?

Before anyone asks, you should be able to get MacOS by shaking it in a vigorous but non-threatening manner while allowing your wrists to go limp.

;-)

Tim

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Blue Sky squeezes GPS onto a SIM

Tim Cuthill
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Not "dur" but "ha-ha" actually

Personally I thought that my original comment was so obviously a gag that I didn't need to grace it with anything as unsubtle as a smiley.

It's like trying to raise a laugh in a Trappist Monastery round here these days........

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Tim Cuthill
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I wonder how long it took them to work this out....

".....but when we take away the battery, take the SIM out of the phone, the signal is no longer there."

I hate to piss on their picnic, but they seem to have invented yet another mobile device that (cue "ta-da" sound) stops working when you remove the battery.

I'd like to see the testing methods that they used to narrow the cause of this behaviour down to their secret antenna technology.

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Dell to fit laptops with Flash drives

Tim Cuthill
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Battery life?

I'm surprised they're bothering to willy-wave the startup time as it's not usually a big issue for laptops (sleep / hibernate anyone?). Even the performance kick shouldn't be that much of an attraction.

What's missing is the effect the reduced power consumption of the SSD has on the amount of time you get on battery power. Battery life is always a big deal in the laptop world so this should be the most effective selling tool and I'm extremely surprised there aren't some impressive figures being crowed about here.

Is there something they're trying to hide or have Dell's marketing types missed a trick?

Tim

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Short measures cost UK boozers £481m

Tim Cuthill
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'cos it's two firkin expensive, that's why...

Here in the real world (somewhere across the ditch), you frequently get the old ice-cream (as in "Can you stick a flake in that love") beer.

Nobody complains. Even in Central (a.k.a. ex-soviet) Europe where people will fight over used shoes and second-hand McDonalds freebie toys (don't ask).

Why? 'cos it's not significant in the greater scheme of things financially as beer is bloody cheap and it's not worth arguing about the odd 5cl.

This is a Sweaty Gordon problem, not a licensed victuallers problem.

[The firkin is the British standard measure of excess in units of two. e.g: Two firkin much, Two firkin many, Two firkin cold.....]

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Nokia E70 smart phone

Tim Cuthill
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Nokia=Microsoft redux

...and about time too. I've ben wondering when this would happen. Nokia have been heading down the Microsoft circa 1996 route for some time.

You're the biggest player, you're hugely successful, you have a massive userbase and then you get an attack of Corporate hubris. You forget about your userbase, you listen to the techs and marketing types and you release complete shite.

Let's see. Win 95 to XP took about 5 years. I'll look at Nokia in 5 years time. Simple.

Now, what else is going on? Ohhh lookie, Windows mobile 5 for SmartPhones. Gates must be pissing himself.......

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