* Posts by Paul Hovnanian

632 posts • joined 16 Mar 2008

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To BALDLY GO where few have gone before: NASA 'naut twin to spend YEAR IN SPAACE

Paul Hovnanian
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Practical hairstyle

Looking back at all the photos of medium to long haired astronauts, I'm surprised that more don't go for the bald or buzz cut look. Or at least throw a scrunchie on it to prevent that "bad zero gee hair" look.

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Mono Magic: Photography, Breaking Bad style

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: "Knowing you only have 36 exposures at a time can impose discipline."

36? Try 12 shots with 120 film in 6x6 format (Rolleiflex SL66). Or 8 shots with an Zeis Ikonta (6x9 format).

Fortunately, I live a few miles from a major camera shop that caters to professionals with film and does 35mm and 120 developing.

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Nesting falcons interrupt £200m Vodafone 4G mast upgrades

Paul Hovnanian
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World’s fastest bird

"Vodafone was very pleased to have the world’s fastest bird as visitors to its masts, Gordon added."

Just have the Vodafone sales staff tell them how much faster they'll be if they upgrade to 4G (with a 2 year contract, of course).

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Thanks a lot, Google, for snatching .dev for yourself. It's not like the rest of us wanted it

Paul Hovnanian
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Devil

Let me take this opportunity to register a protest on behalf of deviants everywhere.

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Diablo fingered in offensive ASCII art trial doc shock

Paul Hovnanian
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I would think that legal documents would not descend to this level of unprofessionalism. Surely they could have just referred to the correspondence in Arkell v. Pressdram.

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Net neutrality: The world speaks its brains on secret 'open' 'net rules

Paul Hovnanian
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Joke

Wearing vivid blue outfits

I don't know about that. I think we'll need a second opinion on that color.

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STOP! Pebble Time: New color watch clocks up $5m on Kickstarter

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Meh...

"Something to do with water blocking radio signals..."

Deploy the towed VLF antenna.

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BLOOD STAR of the NEANDERTHALS passed close to our Sun

Paul Hovnanian
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Paris Hilton

This might explain ...

.... the hookups between homo sapiens and Neanderthals. "Hey babe. Looks like the end of the world is here. What do you say we see it off with a bang?"

Paris, because this line might actually work given the opportunity.

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Gov.UK begs Google 'n' U.S. tech pals: Forget Ireland, come to Blighty

Paul Hovnanian
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Joke

Re: So, so so pathetic

"Instead of tempting other countries to come here, why not get this country to innovate and expand."

Because the tax rate can always be revised back up once companies have taken the bait. You can't un-innovate.

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Keyless vehicle theft suspects cuffed after key Met Police, er, 'lockdown'

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Unstealable

The other trick which I suspect would throw most thieves brave enough to attempt swiping my truck is to slip the transfer case into neutral when I park it someplace seedy.

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Paul Hovnanian
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My 36 year old car has a nearly foolproof anti-theft device. In addition to it being a stick shift (which most US criminals apparantly can't drive) it has a big knob on the dashboard labeled 'Choke'.

Crank away, guys. This thing isn't starting.

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You'll NEVER guess who has bought I Taught Taylor Swift How To Give Head dot-com

Paul Hovnanian
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Yeah, but ...

... who owns the HowToGiveHead.com domain? The business opportunities involved with the creation of subdomains ITaught<InsertNameOfPersonalityHere>.HowToGiveHead.com are almost limitless.

But judging from the picture, the ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToPutOnMakeup.com domain is still up for grabs.

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World's mega-rich tax dodge exposed: Meet the HSBC IT bloke at the heart of damning leak

Paul Hovnanian
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HSBC is not a cop

The US law requiring banks to "know your customer" is just an end run around our Fourth Amendment. Our law enforcement can't just go fishing for 'bad people' based on some profile. They need a warrant. So they just create a regulation that requires private entities to stick their nose in customers' business. And file reports with the regulators.

That said, HSBC are idiots if they had someone walk in the lobby and ask for advice on dodging the US taxman. Apply for an account under the name Mr Smith. Fine. Just make sure you comply with Swiss law. If the IRS comes in with a warrant based on some probable cause that Mr. Smith has commited some crime, then the account information will be delivered. But having money and a common surname isn't prima facie evidence of wrongdoing.

Our cops are getting lazy. And they are expecting private organizations to do far too much policing for them.

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BYOD is NOT the Next Biggest Thing™: Bring me Ye Olde Lappetoppe

Paul Hovnanian
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Facepalm

Laptops, Tablets, Phones

Company issued. Now, how to keep these inside the company, connected only to the 'secure' network. Back in the last century, when execs were issued a company laptop, part of the justification was that they could work from wherever they were. At home on the dialup or DSL. Or at one of those newfangled public WiFi hotspots in a coffee shop.

For all intents and purposes, those machines came back to work as disease-infested as the BYOD stuff that people were prevented from bringing inside. Issuing guidelines made no difference. "Whaddya mean, I can't install my favorite app on MY laptop?!" the exec bellows at the lowly IT person attempting to scrub the cruft off some VP's company laptop yet again. Or the warez that the bosses kid downloads when dad leave the machine unattended on the kitchen table.

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You must have at least 8 inches for Windows 10 to go all the way

Paul Hovnanian
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I can already imagine ...

... the ads: Increase your tablet size with this our product.

Warning: If Windows stays up for more than 4 hours, consult a physician.

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US military finds F-35 software is a buggy mess

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Never mind the software...

"Unlike the Harrier, which could and did use thrust vectoring for VTOL and enhanced dogfighting capability to extreme effectiveness"

This is true. But I don't think the Pentagon brass ever 'got' the Harrier and its capabilities. The spec writers* said "vertical takeoff and landing" and that's what they got.

*In many cases, specifications are co-written by the suppliers. This is what we want to sell you. Write your requirements accordingly. Boeing was an underdog in that competition. So instead of taking an assertive position and telling the Pentagon what to buy, they did something that exposed their weakness, like asking a Marine pilot what they wanted.

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Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Never mind the software...

' "shield" sticking up there.'

That's the inlet for the VTOL lift fan. To be fair, no streamlining is required in that flight mode.

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Why Microsoft's 3D HoloLens goggles aren't for Google Glassholes

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Pay no attention to the OS behind the lenses

But they do make my eyes a fetching shade of blue while I'm performing the obligtory reboot.

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

Paul Hovnanian
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Unhappy

Midnight?!?!

I thought it was almost lunchtime!

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Suck on this, Larry: NoSQL pair hit the G-spot

Paul Hovnanian
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Statistics

"Mongo says it is used by more than 2,000 customers, including 34 of the Fortune 100, with nine million downloads."

My Debian distro laptop ran mongodb. I don't know why. I discovered it one day when it seemed to be running a bit slow. So I ran a process list and found 'mongodb' to be hogging CPU cycles. I killed it and haven't noticed anything important not working.

So I'm not really sure what those 9 million downloads means other than it's a depenency of some little used utility tht people pull in when they run a package manager.

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Tax Systems: The good, the bad and the completely toot toot ding-dong loopy

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Transaction taxes

Bitcoin.

We may not understand the problem, but Bitcoin is the answer.

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Erik Meijer: AGILE must be destroyed, once and for all

Paul Hovnanian
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RE: Scrum

@Bob Starling

I think this is a good observation. The term 'scrum' appears to have been applied to s/w development by someone unfamiliar with software, rugby, or both.

Or perhaps it was coined by someone with a wicked sense of humor who was spot on with an analogy describing the butting of heads while the object (the ball, or the code) sits unmoved. And the term was sold to the PHBs with exactly this hidden meaning in mind. And management hasn't got the joke yet.

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Police radios will be KILLED soon – yet no one dares say 'Huawei'

Paul Hovnanian
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Why not hybrid?

Use a TETRA or other trunked system similar to what is now in use for PTT, group broadcasts, etc. And then add 4G voice/data capability i a different frequency block. The (low) data rate in today's trunked radio should be sufficient to hand off the radio to a broadband connection when needed.

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Want to shoot FIREBALLS from your wrists, SPIDER-MAN style?

Paul Hovnanian
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Can we get ....

.... a version of this for the back bumper of a car?

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Prez Obama slaps sanctions on Norks in payback for Sony hack

Paul Hovnanian
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[Sigh]

File this one in with Iraq's WMD, I'm afraid.

We (USA) are going to start looking like a bunch of fools if we take the first piece of questionable evidence and run with it. Some analysts are beginning to think this might have been an inside (Sony) job. Maybe, or maybe its NORK misdirection. But we can always slap sanctions later on*, so why not take some time to do a proper investigation.

*Or perhaps not. Kim Jung Un has made an approch to negotiate with South Korea. So an overly quick response on our part could appear to be us trying to queer the deal. Our role should be to back up our ally militarily and ensure nothing is done by coercion. But if they can legitimately negotiate peace, our political goals should have no influence.

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SpaceX six days from historic rocket landing attempt

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Why land at sea?

"As Russia is absolutely massive in the right direction."

I suspect that this is it. It's not so much a matter of hitting the USA. Every 90 minutes or so, the orbit olaces them on a path about 20 degrees longitude over from the last one. Eventually, that path will pass over a suitable (i.e. not private property, farmland or protected habitat) landing site. I can't be bothered to calculate 'eventually', but it could be dozens of orbits, given a small enough site.

With a ship, you just move the landing pad under the desired orbit and go.

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New fear: ISIS killers use 'digital AK-47' malware to hunt victims

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Where does it send the IP addresses?

I can just see the ISIS hackers geolocating 127.0.0.1 and mounting an attack.

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REVEALED: Titsup flight plan mainframe borks UK air traffic control

Paul Hovnanian
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Windows

Re: Bad flight plan?

"Invariably someone puts a flight plan wrong and it borks the system"

You are lucky someone didn't try to fly a U2 through your airspace. It appears you may have hired the same people to write your ATC code.

Welcome to the club.

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Put me through to Buffy's room, please. Sony hackers leak stars' numbers, travel aliases

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Just wondering

It's Sony pictures. Everyone works under one of Georgette Spelvin, Walter Plinge or Alan Smithee.

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NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling

Paul Hovnanian
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Imagine ....

.... New Horizons' disappointment* when it wakes up and finds out Pluto has been demoted.

*Yes. I know how much mechanical devices hate being anthropomorphised.

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How HAPPY am I on a scale of 1 to 10? Where do I click PISSED OFF?

Paul Hovnanian
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Happy

Survey results

Let me take this opportunity to vote in favor of more Russ Meyer movie clips embedded in El Reg articles.

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How to get ahead in IT: Swap the geek speak for the spreadsheet

Paul Hovnanian
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This depends on the line of business

"The evolution shouldn’t come as a surprise: the IT department is increasingly being seen as a profit rather than a cost centre with IT budgets commonly split between keeping the lights on and spend on innovation and revenue-generating projects."

It's a profit center only if your company is in the business of producing IT products or services. Otherwise it's a tool your company uses to perform their revenue generating functions. Yes, your IT systems can provide the latter organizations with a strategic advantage over your competition. In much the same way as an auto repair shop can excell by having higher quality and/or more capable tools.

"Project Manager"

Not the most important job in the IT process. Unless IT products/services are yor companies line of business. Its the process owning manager that makes the cost/benefit decisions on which tools to invest in and when to upgrade or replace those tools. These decisions need to be made with the support and operating costs of the legacy systems in mind. Which is where contributions from the operations (admins) as well as development (project) sides of the house need to be balanced against the user's cost/benefits.

All too often, IT systems are seen as projects that, when done, provide the project manager their little gold star, promotion and material for their CV. And once the system is delivered, its cost to the company go largely unnoticed. Untion the users or admins scream about it being crap. The smart company has someone in charge of the work process that can call for a new system to be built, even if the old one is stil functional. If that new system can produce a savings/benefit to justify the work done. On the other hand, the process owner might reccommend sticking with a clipboard and pencil on the shop floor if the shiny tablet/IT tool doesn't add value to the bottom line. The latter decision doesn't look as good on an IT manager's CV, but its a valid choice.

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Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: I like toys but...

"That said I've not seen any news stories involving one of these lasers being used on drivers."

Aircraft. Too many instances of redneck morons playing games with these and planes recently.

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FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study

Paul Hovnanian
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Alien

Depends on your point of view

There are some who think that a bit more fat is a good thing.

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Paul Hovnanian
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Linux

Re: WRONG! (Was: I'm three terrorists at least!)

"You're reading El Reg and operating a computer"

Running Linux as well. That's another point or two right there.

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A life of cybercrime, a caipirinha and a tan: Fraudsters love a Brazilian

Paul Hovnanian
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I wonder if this has something to do with Brazil's restrictions on extradition. They don't extradite their own citizens, preferring to try them at home. And if their laws concerning cybercrime are a bit lax, that would be the better legal venue for a defendant.

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Google bags OBSCENELY LARGE Times Square ad space for New Year's

Paul Hovnanian
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Coat

So ...

... the backside of Kardashian's jeans wasn't available?

OK, I'll get my coat. The one with the corporate logo stitched on.

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Could YOU identify these 10 cool vintage mobile phones?

Paul Hovnanian
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Vintage?

Nobody told me a RAZR V3 was vintage. I still use one.

A DynaTac is vintage. Which I still have in a vintage car (just as a conversation piece now that analog service is gone).

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MOULDY DICK: France aims to snatch EXPLODING WHALE crown from U.S.

Paul Hovnanian
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Mushroom

Re: Sounds like a job

Sounds like a job for a Barrett M82A1. If the whale's belly is full of methane, a tracer round should be interesting. Just stand back a ways.

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Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'

Paul Hovnanian
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Joke

An example to follow

For having the courage to come out. I'm very supportive of the gay male community.

More women for me.

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MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Possible viral connection?

"The prostate has no idea who or what you're shagging, or if you're alone. If we ignore possible signaling hormones (possible, but no evidence), what could be causing this effect?"

It could be The Coolidge Effect at work and its effect on dopamine levels. So it is in fact beneficial to have a variety of partners as opposed to just one. Or the right hand.

At least this is what I'm going to explain to the wife.

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Paul Hovnanian
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Coat

Re: "a statistically quite small group of people"

In addition; this IS Canada we're talking about. There are only so many test subjects available.

OK, I'll get my coat.

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KRAKKOOOM! Space Station supply mission in PODULE PRANG EXPLOSION CHAOS

Paul Hovnanian
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Resupply

"The astronauts aboard the space station won't be going hungry, however, since NASA has a policy of maintaining enough essentials on board to cover two resupply mission failures."

But how long can they hold out re-reading old copys of the Daily Mail?

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Paul Hovnanian
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Joke

No Jokes

"It goes without saying that airports are not the place for jokes ..."

And yet, Ryanair soldiers on.

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SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

Paul Hovnanian
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Big Brother

Re: I just use Linux...

"How do you know? Perhaps they're just not telling you."

Some laptops have a function key you've got to press. When you hear the voice come over your speaker telling you "Not that key. Second one to the left", you'll know you've got it.

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Wanna hop carriers with your iPad's Apple SIM? AVOID AT&T

Paul Hovnanian
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Devil

Re: Sort of defeats the object then

"May as well wang a normal sim card in"

Can you? Or is this an Apple proprietary interface?

If its possible, the answer is to pop the Apple SIM out before walking into the AT&T store*. They'll give you their own SIM as a part of the account activation.

*That's the shop in the mall with the sign "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" over the door.

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FTDI yanks chip-bricking driver from Windows Update, vows to fight on

Paul Hovnanian
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Boffin

Re: Chinese manufacturing

"It was a different work-alike design. Using a uC. A from-scratch design. No FTDI IP included, except perhaps the fake logo printed on the package."

And most probably the same vendor and device IDs as the FTDI chip. This is in (properly written drivers) what controls which driver gets loaded. I'm pretty sure that violates the USB Implementers Forum license. If you build your own gizmo, fine. But go get your own IDs and write (and test) your own drivers.

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Google opens Inbox – email for people too thick to handle email

Paul Hovnanian
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Joke

Re: Bloody hell!

So, they'll be adding this function to systemd?

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Paul Hovnanian
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Headmaster

Re: "To reminder you"???????

Don't verb nouns. It weirds the language.

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MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

Paul Hovnanian
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Re: Good god...

I was thinking more along the lines of a Thelma and Louise ending.

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