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* Posts by Mark Cooper

8 posts • joined 14 Mar 2008

BOFH: Cable entanglements

Mark Cooper
Black Helicopters

Re: Re: OK The Jig is up - WHERE IS SIMON?

Phew, thank <insert deity of choice here> for that, I thought everyone at Reg Central had died.

While obviously the second of your scenarios appeals more to my 'angry-young-man' side (and at my age I take that as a compliment, considering I started in this business more than 30 years ago), I fully accept your sanitised version of the truth and will stand down from my obviously subversive and juvenile attitude.

Obviously at least one of my previous comments got wiped out by net goblins before reaching you. I can't remember including anything too 'twatty' in any of them (good word, BTW), certainly nothing that Simon (if he is indeed, as you assert alive and well but unable to contribute as frequently these days) wouldn't laugh off, but still, Friday afternoons being what they are...

Still undecided about page 43 or 51. I might just have to toss something to decide.

;-)

P.S. Nice to know that even moderators have a sense of humour.

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Mark Cooper
Stop

OK The Jig is up - WHERE IS SIMON?

Not only are we reduced to 1 episode per month now, but El Reg has obviously signed up someone to 'ghost write' the column.

While all 3 (yes count them, 3) episodes this year have been mildly humourous they certainly don't create the same rib-aching effect as episodes in previous years.

As for all those that have commented positively - CAN YOU ACTUALLY READ? Did your MUMMY have to write your comment for you? Have you compared these latest watered-down, inneffectual musings with the brilliant, thought provoking, side-splitting, keyboard-ruining, monitor-staining episodes of previous years or are you just mindless sycophants?

Enough is enough. If Simon isn't available to write this column then just say so and kill it, rather than allow his reputation to continue being tarnished by these pathetic substitutes.

Lets see if El Reg has the guts to allow this comment through - my last two didn't make it, probably due to equally disparaging remarks.

P.S. If Simon really did write this column then I will expect no less than a visit by two or more people armed with cattle-prods, er, sorry, circuit testers.

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BOFH: Burying the hatchet

Mark Cooper
Coat

WAAAH - 2 weeks and no Episode 29!

Has Simon been 'downsized'. If so, what has become of the 'poor' PFY?

I'm devastated, truly devastated.

Mines the one with the Union Card in the breast pocket.

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BOFH: Smash + grab

Mark Cooper
Coat

WOT - No <Kzert!>?

Has the PFY's 'circuit tester' been confiscated again?

Mines the one with spare batteries in the pocket.

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BOFH: Testing the obscenity filters

Mark Cooper
Coat

Top

Laugh, I nearly sh >SLAM!<

Getting my coat as now too weak to w >SLAM!<

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BOFH: Licensing model

Mark Cooper
Black Helicopters

As Fate Would Have It

Hmm...

One of our 'senior support consultants' made me a coffee this morning, for the first time EVER in 13 years.

Methinks I might be about to have a bad weekend.

Genius.

Black Helicopters as I can't don't believe in coincidences.

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BOFH: Lift laughs

Mark Cooper
Paris Hilton

Fantastic Imagery as usual

I must admit that whenever I read BOFH I always try to picture the scene as in a movie, with well known actors taking the roles. In this case...

BOSS - Kelsey Gammer

BOFH - Ricky Gervais

PFY - ?? - open to suggestions

Rescuer - Bruce Willis

Paris - as herself, somewhere.

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BOFH: On the brink

Mark Cooper
Coat

The Nightmares Return

I used to install SCO Xenix (thats right, XENIX) for a living in a previous life, followed by SCO System V Unix.

I then spent a number of years working with OS/2 Warp (more DOS than DOS as the ads went). I've been in recovery for a number of years, and then I read this...

GAAAH - Doris - fetch the appliance!

Straight-Jacket anyone?

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