* Posts by Zippy's Sausage Factory

182 posts • joined 12 Mar 2008

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Spaniard claims WWII WAR HERO pigeon code crack. Explain please

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Howt to heap shit on your own head

Given that GCHQ have known about the message since 2012 - and issued press releases about it - does rather suggest that it's about as secret as the front page of the Daily Mail.

As for the copyright infringement bit, well, I think we'd be talking patents rather than copyright - and they'd have expired in the 60s at the latest...

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BACS Bank Holiday BALLS UP borks 275,000 payments

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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BACS will not be happy

I once reported my mortgage provider to BACS for cocking up my direct debit and writing it to my credit record as a default when it was their fault. What was suspicious was that they started sending the wrong details to the bank just as we had started the remortgage process in place. After a flat refusal to change the credit record, two days after I reported it to BACS they changed it and sent us a letter of apology.

I also did that to the Council when they screwed up my Council Tax (nothing fishy, just incompetence). I was told - through a contact who worked there - that they had to grovel to BACS and agree to being audited by them in order to keep their ability to collect Direct Debits.

So if BACS is working normally, I expect there will be quite a lot of shouting going on right now...

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Net neutrality: How to spot an arts graduate in a tech debate

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Devil

Er, but...

Let's say I run a dodgy ISP. I require you to use my DNS servers, so I block calls to 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.4.4 directly, thus I control your traffic*. So I filter NetFlix through a proxy that checks who you are. Do you pay the extra 5 simoleons a month for faster Netflix? No? Well my proxy limits you to 1mbps then. Do you pay the extra 5 simoleons a month for better Facebook? No? Well then my proxy limits you to 56K a second on Facebook.

Net neutrality isn't really about detecting magic kit that ISPs aren't using yet. It's about future proofing the law to prevent ISPs getting creative and installing ways to screw punters for another fiver a month for the "upgraded" service so they can watch cat videos on YouTube...

* Yes, simplified. It's just an example...

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Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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"Installing iOS 9 beta 3? How? Oh come on... I just wanted to play Candy Crush.

"I bet it doesn't work with 9 anyway, none of the good games do..."

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Salesforce back in the red, reviews future black ink orders

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Given the massive drop in stocks worldwide lately, I'm guessing there's a big financial crisis coming (and I don't think I'm alone in saying that.)

I think ti's likely any company making losses or thin profits now is probably already in danger of closing by the end of next year.

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Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Under UK law

Illegal contract terms can't be enforced. Not like US law, where an illegal contract term renders the contract null and void.

Interesting times for Microsoft lie ahead if they try to start that shenanigans with large businesses, methinks...

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Android apps are flooding on to jailbroken Win10 phones

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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So I might as well delete Visual Studio then...

Might as well just target Android now then, if it runs on Windows as well. Bye bye MSDN subscription I suppose...

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ZUCK OFF: Facebook nixes internship after student embarrasses firm

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Facepalm

Because a blackhat hacker is going to care about Ts&Cs...

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Two weeks of Windows 10: Just how is Microsoft doing?

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Silverlight ain't ever gonna be supported

They've been trying to kill it for years.

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Cloudflare hiccup nudges Stack Overflow and others offline

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Mushroom

Shame StackOverflow came back up

Some of the nastiest, most spiteful trolls I've ever met tend to be community moderators on that particular cesspit.

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FAIL: Windows 10 bulk patch produces INFINITE CRASH LOOP

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Joke

And that sound you can hear

is the sound of Microsoft, one arm aloft, jumping in the air on its water skies. Over a shark...

(Joke alert because there isn't a "weep with despair" icon...)

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'Cops KNOW WHO I AM and I don't believe their hearts were truly in the shootout'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Joke

He really did spend too much time with Mr Blobby, didn't he?

Oh come on, everybody knows Blobby votes UKIP... why else is he purple?

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Windows 10 is FORCING ITSELF onto domain happy Windows 7 PCs

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Mushroom

Wonder how many bankruptcies will result

And how many lawsuits?

I can imagine there are a few people being shouted at in Redmond today...

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AIDS? Ebola? Nah – ELECTRO SMOG is our 'biggest problem', says Noel Edmonds

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Trollface

Re: Minions

I miss Mr Blobby. Let's face it, he was the only reason anyone watched House Party anyway.

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And so it begins... Cleaning up HMRC's £10.7bn Aspire mess

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Devil

Let me get this straight...

The issues have been transferred from a publicly accountable body to a private company about which HMRC can (among other things) turn away all FoI requests with "commercial confidentiality"?

Smells like a cover up in progress to me.

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New US cyber laws will hit privacy and security, says Homeland Security

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Sad...

Not sad. Just shows that, for a change, someone was elected who cares more about the people that elected him than about lining their own pocket.

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Lottery chief resigns as winning combo numbers appear on screen BEFORE being drawn

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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My guess is someone typed ahead, hit the wrong button... then needed new trousers as they realised their typo just got drawn...

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‘Secure’ criminal justice email system relies on obsolete protocols

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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FAIL

It reminds me of the Daleks, wandering around saying "victory is certain", then starting their bomb countdown from a ludicrous 6,000 and then just sitting around waiting for it, giving plenty of time for you know who to come and spoil their party. (The question of why they didn't just start the countdown from 10 is never explained...)

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Edge out rivals? No! Firefox boss BLASTS Microsoft's Windows 10 browser brouhaha

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: But! it's! OK!

See, this is why I use Pale Moon.

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Kim Dotcom to create Wikimedia-style open source Mega 3.0

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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He also ripped off the movie camera

Which was invested by Louis le Prince in Leeds, I believe. (He later disappeared in mysterious circumstances).

Also, I'm sure I've read that one of the big reasons the movie industry is in Hollywood was to avoid New York where Edison had much more favourable patent courts.

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BONK! BONK! Windows 10 whack-a-mole – Microsoft still fixing bugs

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: ?

Yes, it's a subtle joke. And quite a clever one. Very very clever.

I had to look up prairie dogging on urban dictionary in order to understand it...

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Pakistan bans BlackBerry Enterprise Server

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Joke

Re: Ah, yes!

History book? Don't you mean "idealistic vision of a utopian society", the way things are going?

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Jeep breach: Scared? You should be, it could be you next

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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SPY Car Act?

Is that a Freudian slip?

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The Lazarus Effect: Saved by Linux and Cash Converters

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Similar to my situation

I moved to Portugal recently too (in fact I was in that very branch of Cash Converters a couple of weeks ago).

Anyway, last October my keyboard died. Fortunately there's a Worten round the corner (think Dixons / PC World but with a red colour scheme) and I bought a new Portuguese keyboard for about 7€. Took me about a day to get used to a Portuguese layout and now British or US layouts annoy the heck out of me. First thing I do - change the layout! :)

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Dead device walking: Apple iPod Touch 6th generation

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Hurumphhh

Hanging onto my classic here. Give me a nano with a clickwheel and 256GB (I'd hope for 1TB but would settle for 256) and I might consider upgrading.

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Microsoft shutters Office 365's free web site service

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Pint

Is SharePoint dying?

Please tell me SharePoint is dying and I will never have to work with it again.

Please. Please. Pretty please?

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Fancy signing into Windows 10 with Office 365? WHOA there, my friend

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Not thought through...

Microsoft's services these days show an alarming tendency to "fire first, aim later".

Reminds me of Commodore in the early 90s...

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Uber slapped with $7.3m fine for keeping quiet about driver accidents

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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FAIL

There are rules about taxi services for a reason

Same as there are about medical services, catering, etc. Uber isn't above the law and can't consider itself that way. Not if it wants to remain in business, anyway.

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Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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I'll go for two months.

I guess I'm being nice. I was going to go for one.

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Programming languages in economics: Cool research, bro, but what about, er, economics?

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Baffling

Yes, the root cause of the 1930s Weimar Republic crash was undoubtedly the punitive WWI sanctions, but had they not decided on the clever wheeze of printing lots and lots of cash to buy their way out of trouble - and to be fair, it worked for a few months - everything would have been a lot less painful. (Interesting that we recently did a smaller version - quantitative easing.)

Also, I'm amazed you didn't mention the 1929 Wall Street crash - massively exacerbated by people buying "on the margin" (i.e. borrowing money to buy shares). Interesting that that problem has come up again as well.

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Yes! Windows Phone lives: Microsoft to pump the device Kool-Aid

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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WTF?

May I remind you

That antivirus software for Windows is a multi-billion dollar business? And that the same codebase powers Windows Phone? So the added advantage of Windows Phone, I suppose, is that all your favourite viruses already run on it...

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Google makes new hires ONE pay offer. 'Negotiation'? What's that?

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Not a very good long term strategy

In the long term, I don't expect they will continue to get the best people with a strategy like that - especially as the advice across the rest of the industry is "never take the first offer" (personally, I never have - ever.) It may work for 20 somethings who are attracted by the shiny CV fillip of having worked for Google and the likelihood that they can go double their money at MS or wherever...

I'm unlikely ever to work for Google, though, in much the same way as I'd be unlikely to work for any other organisation I don't trust.

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Bloodthirsty Microsoft prepares for imminent 'major' job cuts

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Short Sighted Agent

It's classic MBA behaviour. This is exactly what they teach you to do on an MBA - and it's a reason why every MBA I've ever met seems to know how to measure everything, work out how much it costs but has no clue about strategic thinking or how to build a business, merely how to build a great big rut with minimal profit margin and then wonder why it doesn't last...

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Apple Music: First three months for free? We lasted less than 3 hours

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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This is why the iPod classic had to die.

A bit sad that it went in favour of a bland, generic service that nobody will particularly enjoy - kinda sums up Apple's "innovations" these days.

The idea of the "Apple Music Connect" feature annoys me - er, don't want that, but not sure you can 100% turn it off. I have last.fm, why do I need another version of it that I didn't sign up to? Auto following artists you already bought from - that's just annoying.

Apple Music for me is a great sales tool - for Windows. Maybe Microsoft should use it as a sales pitch for Windows 10? "Guaranteed NOT to include Apple Music (unless you're stupid enough to install iTunes)"

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Chair legs it from UK govt smart meter installation programme

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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It's like Yes, Minister

I can just imagine Sir Humphrey saying "But it's not your job to actually deliver the project, or even oversee the delivery of the project, merely to reassure people that the project is being delivered according to plan."

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Microsoft's new mission statement: It's all about doing MAGICAL THINGS

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Facepalm

I actually felt my eyes starting to twitch reading this...

It's like watching a car crash in agonisingly slow motion.

Facepalm because I can't find anything more appropriate to express my horrors...

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Pirate MEP pranks Telegraph with holiday snap scaremongering

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RBS sticks it to customers once again as IT woes continue

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Regulator??

If it's Direct Debit, complain to BACS.

I went to remortgage a few years ago and as soon as the existing mortgage provider knew I was moving they stopped collecting my direct debits and reporting me to Experian. I complained to BACS and explained what had happened - and significantly, when it had happened - and my mortgage vendor very quickly decided to change my credit file to say I'd made my three payments on time.

I complained again a few years later over council tax direct debits going AWOL - again, their cockup (this time they were collecting them, but not crediting them against our account). I was later told that BACS threatened them with losing the ability to take direct debits if they didn't sort it out...

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Windows Phone is like religion – it gets people when they are down

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Devil

So...

Your little Windows Phone gets attached to the free Wifi in Starbucks. It gets infected with something nasty because Windows is the prime target for nasties, mainly because there's a lot of it about. Now that there's a unified code base for nasties, you just carried that to your corporate network.

And that's why I know some IT managers who've banned Windows Phone altogether.

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So what are you doing about your legacy MS 16-bit applications?

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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I was going to say that Symantec don't sell Ghost any more. But apparently they do, and it even supports Mac and Linux now. I might have to give them some of my money - lack of Ghost was one of the reasons I've avoided Windows 8 so far.

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Go fac' yourselves: US privacy bods walk out of visage recog talks

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Simple solution

Any use of facial recognition technology for non law enforcement purposes, or without the prior written consent of the person whose face is being recognised, should be a federal offence.

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Would EU exit 'stuff' the UK? Tech policy boss gets diplomatic

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Joke

Leaving the EU would be stupid.

As far as I can tell, if the UK leaves the EU, then the following scenario is pretty plausible:

1. Common Agricultural Policy no longer applies to the UK.

2. Lots of farmers lose their subsidies.

3. Lots of farmers who couldn't afford to supply the supermarkets without those subsidies go broke.

4. Food skyrockets in price.

5. Hyperinflation sets in. (Of course, if the UK had big gold reserves that wouldn't be such a problem...)

Give me another couple of hours I can think of a few more potential disaster scenarios, if you want them...

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EU: Explain your tax affairs. Google, Amazon, Facebook: Mmm... nah

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Get a life

Not quite. This panel could heavily influence tax policies in the EU for the next few years, and it's likely that not turning up and playing nice could turn out to be a very serious mistake.

In US terms, it's perhaps the equivalent of being invited to a friendly discussion with a few Congressmen on a subcommittee. On the surface, perfectly ignorable. But behind the scenes, perhaps a lot more influential than you might think.

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Keurig to drop coffee DRM after boss admits 'we were wrong'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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FAIL

Not a response to Nestle then?

Keurig introduces DRM.

Nespresso (the big dogs of the market) respond... by making their system open source.

Game, set and match Nespresso, I think.

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UK data watchdog: Massive fines won't keep data safe

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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In other words...

"We want the ability to not fine someone quarter of a million if they actually spend half a million beefing up their security and start taking it seriously, because otherwise management might decide that if they're going to get fined anyway and can't avoid the bad PR they might decide not to bother with better security"

That's how it reads to me. (And yeah, seems sensible)

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Microsoft points at Skype, Lync: You two, in my office – right now

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Devil

Microsoft have spent a lot of money acquiring the Skype name

You can bet the marketroids are going to want to use it.

And let's face it - "Lync" does sound a bit like a sexually transmitted disease. "I went down the doctors with a case of the lync yesterday" "What they give you, antibiotics gain?" "Yeah"

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NSA: 'Back doors are a bad idea, give us a FRONT door key'

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Coat

Re: Github

Booby traps are easily spotted. The nippes are a dead giveaway.

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TTIP: Protect our privacy in EU-US trade deal or ELSE, snarl MEPs

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Megaphone

Re: And...

TTIP will be ratified everywhere except the USA. But they will expect the other sides to stick to it rigorously, while completely ignoring it themselves.

The Extradition Act surely should show that America makes bi-lateral agreements so that it can lean on the other side to implement them and then ignore them at its end.

Entering into any sort of trade agreement with the USA is basically equivalent to giving the US government sovereignty over part of your legislation with nothing in return. That's been their position for the last I don't know how long and I've no doubt they will stick to it.

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Netflix teams with AWS to launch VHS-as-a-service

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Happy

Re: I used to rent lots of tapes

I used to rent Betamax tapes.

Well, my parents did. I just used to watch them.

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Encryption is the REAL threat – Head Europlod

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Thumb Down

Let's ban secure banking. Because that's going to pose no problems for anyone.

Seriously, this guy needs to be unemployed. Because he genuinely does not understand the nature of computer security. What he is suggesting would allow criminals carte blanche to steal, and there would be nothing EuroPol could do about it.

This statement proves that he is incapable of doing the job effectively. He shouldn't have this job - or any other job in law enforcement. Effective immediately. Career over. Welcome to the dole queue.

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