* Posts by Zippy's Sausage Factory

161 posts • joined 12 Mar 2008

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Pakistan bans BlackBerry Enterprise Server

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Joke

Re: Ah, yes!

History book? Don't you mean "idealistic vision of a utopian society", the way things are going?

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Jeep breach: Scared? You should be, it could be you next

Zippy's Sausage Factory

SPY Car Act?

Is that a Freudian slip?

0
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The Lazarus Effect: Saved by Linux and Cash Converters

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Similar to my situation

I moved to Portugal recently too (in fact I was in that very branch of Cash Converters a couple of weeks ago).

Anyway, last October my keyboard died. Fortunately there's a Worten round the corner (think Dixons / PC World but with a red colour scheme) and I bought a new Portuguese keyboard for about 7€. Took me about a day to get used to a Portuguese layout and now British or US layouts annoy the heck out of me. First thing I do - change the layout! :)

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Dead device walking: Apple iPod Touch 6th generation

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Re: Hurumphhh

Hanging onto my classic here. Give me a nano with a clickwheel and 256GB (I'd hope for 1TB but would settle for 256) and I might consider upgrading.

1
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Microsoft shutters Office 365's free web site service

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Pint

Is SharePoint dying?

Please tell me SharePoint is dying and I will never have to work with it again.

Please. Please. Pretty please?

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Fancy signing into Windows 10 with Office 365? WHOA there, my friend

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Not thought through...

Microsoft's services these days show an alarming tendency to "fire first, aim later".

Reminds me of Commodore in the early 90s...

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Uber slapped with $7.3m fine for keeping quiet about driver accidents

Zippy's Sausage Factory
FAIL

There are rules about taxi services for a reason

Same as there are about medical services, catering, etc. Uber isn't above the law and can't consider itself that way. Not if it wants to remain in business, anyway.

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Microsoft to Windows 10 consumers: You'll get updates LIKE IT or NOT

Zippy's Sausage Factory

I'll go for two months.

I guess I'm being nice. I was going to go for one.

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Programming languages in economics: Cool research, bro, but what about, er, economics?

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Re: Baffling

Yes, the root cause of the 1930s Weimar Republic crash was undoubtedly the punitive WWI sanctions, but had they not decided on the clever wheeze of printing lots and lots of cash to buy their way out of trouble - and to be fair, it worked for a few months - everything would have been a lot less painful. (Interesting that we recently did a smaller version - quantitative easing.)

Also, I'm amazed you didn't mention the 1929 Wall Street crash - massively exacerbated by people buying "on the margin" (i.e. borrowing money to buy shares). Interesting that that problem has come up again as well.

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Yes! Windows Phone lives: Microsoft to pump the device Kool-Aid

Zippy's Sausage Factory
WTF?

May I remind you

That antivirus software for Windows is a multi-billion dollar business? And that the same codebase powers Windows Phone? So the added advantage of Windows Phone, I suppose, is that all your favourite viruses already run on it...

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11

Google makes new hires ONE pay offer. 'Negotiation'? What's that?

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Not a very good long term strategy

In the long term, I don't expect they will continue to get the best people with a strategy like that - especially as the advice across the rest of the industry is "never take the first offer" (personally, I never have - ever.) It may work for 20 somethings who are attracted by the shiny CV fillip of having worked for Google and the likelihood that they can go double their money at MS or wherever...

I'm unlikely ever to work for Google, though, in much the same way as I'd be unlikely to work for any other organisation I don't trust.

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Bloodthirsty Microsoft prepares for imminent 'major' job cuts

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Re: Short Sighted Agent

It's classic MBA behaviour. This is exactly what they teach you to do on an MBA - and it's a reason why every MBA I've ever met seems to know how to measure everything, work out how much it costs but has no clue about strategic thinking or how to build a business, merely how to build a great big rut with minimal profit margin and then wonder why it doesn't last...

9
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Apple Music: First three months for free? We lasted less than 3 hours

Zippy's Sausage Factory

This is why the iPod classic had to die.

A bit sad that it went in favour of a bland, generic service that nobody will particularly enjoy - kinda sums up Apple's "innovations" these days.

The idea of the "Apple Music Connect" feature annoys me - er, don't want that, but not sure you can 100% turn it off. I have last.fm, why do I need another version of it that I didn't sign up to? Auto following artists you already bought from - that's just annoying.

Apple Music for me is a great sales tool - for Windows. Maybe Microsoft should use it as a sales pitch for Windows 10? "Guaranteed NOT to include Apple Music (unless you're stupid enough to install iTunes)"

17
3

Chair legs it from UK govt smart meter installation programme

Zippy's Sausage Factory

It's like Yes, Minister

I can just imagine Sir Humphrey saying "But it's not your job to actually deliver the project, or even oversee the delivery of the project, merely to reassure people that the project is being delivered according to plan."

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Microsoft's new mission statement: It's all about doing MAGICAL THINGS

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Facepalm

I actually felt my eyes starting to twitch reading this...

It's like watching a car crash in agonisingly slow motion.

Facepalm because I can't find anything more appropriate to express my horrors...

2
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Pirate MEP pranks Telegraph with holiday snap scaremongering

This post has been deleted by a moderator

RBS sticks it to customers once again as IT woes continue

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Re: Regulator??

If it's Direct Debit, complain to BACS.

I went to remortgage a few years ago and as soon as the existing mortgage provider knew I was moving they stopped collecting my direct debits and reporting me to Experian. I complained to BACS and explained what had happened - and significantly, when it had happened - and my mortgage vendor very quickly decided to change my credit file to say I'd made my three payments on time.

I complained again a few years later over council tax direct debits going AWOL - again, their cockup (this time they were collecting them, but not crediting them against our account). I was later told that BACS threatened them with losing the ability to take direct debits if they didn't sort it out...

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Windows Phone is like religion – it gets people when they are down

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Devil

So...

Your little Windows Phone gets attached to the free Wifi in Starbucks. It gets infected with something nasty because Windows is the prime target for nasties, mainly because there's a lot of it about. Now that there's a unified code base for nasties, you just carried that to your corporate network.

And that's why I know some IT managers who've banned Windows Phone altogether.

5
16

So what are you doing about your legacy MS 16-bit applications?

Zippy's Sausage Factory

I was going to say that Symantec don't sell Ghost any more. But apparently they do, and it even supports Mac and Linux now. I might have to give them some of my money - lack of Ghost was one of the reasons I've avoided Windows 8 so far.

1
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Go fac' yourselves: US privacy bods walk out of visage recog talks

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Simple solution

Any use of facial recognition technology for non law enforcement purposes, or without the prior written consent of the person whose face is being recognised, should be a federal offence.

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Would EU exit 'stuff' the UK? Tech policy boss gets diplomatic

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Joke

Leaving the EU would be stupid.

As far as I can tell, if the UK leaves the EU, then the following scenario is pretty plausible:

1. Common Agricultural Policy no longer applies to the UK.

2. Lots of farmers lose their subsidies.

3. Lots of farmers who couldn't afford to supply the supermarkets without those subsidies go broke.

4. Food skyrockets in price.

5. Hyperinflation sets in. (Of course, if the UK had big gold reserves that wouldn't be such a problem...)

Give me another couple of hours I can think of a few more potential disaster scenarios, if you want them...

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EU: Explain your tax affairs. Google, Amazon, Facebook: Mmm... nah

Zippy's Sausage Factory

Re: Get a life

Not quite. This panel could heavily influence tax policies in the EU for the next few years, and it's likely that not turning up and playing nice could turn out to be a very serious mistake.

In US terms, it's perhaps the equivalent of being invited to a friendly discussion with a few Congressmen on a subcommittee. On the surface, perfectly ignorable. But behind the scenes, perhaps a lot more influential than you might think.

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Keurig to drop coffee DRM after boss admits 'we were wrong'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
FAIL

Not a response to Nestle then?

Keurig introduces DRM.

Nespresso (the big dogs of the market) respond... by making their system open source.

Game, set and match Nespresso, I think.

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UK data watchdog: Massive fines won't keep data safe

Zippy's Sausage Factory

In other words...

"We want the ability to not fine someone quarter of a million if they actually spend half a million beefing up their security and start taking it seriously, because otherwise management might decide that if they're going to get fined anyway and can't avoid the bad PR they might decide not to bother with better security"

That's how it reads to me. (And yeah, seems sensible)

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Microsoft points at Skype, Lync: You two, in my office – right now

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Devil

Microsoft have spent a lot of money acquiring the Skype name

You can bet the marketroids are going to want to use it.

And let's face it - "Lync" does sound a bit like a sexually transmitted disease. "I went down the doctors with a case of the lync yesterday" "What they give you, antibiotics gain?" "Yeah"

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NSA: 'Back doors are a bad idea, give us a FRONT door key'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Coat

Re: Github

Booby traps are easily spotted. The nippes are a dead giveaway.

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TTIP: Protect our privacy in EU-US trade deal or ELSE, snarl MEPs

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Megaphone

Re: And...

TTIP will be ratified everywhere except the USA. But they will expect the other sides to stick to it rigorously, while completely ignoring it themselves.

The Extradition Act surely should show that America makes bi-lateral agreements so that it can lean on the other side to implement them and then ignore them at its end.

Entering into any sort of trade agreement with the USA is basically equivalent to giving the US government sovereignty over part of your legislation with nothing in return. That's been their position for the last I don't know how long and I've no doubt they will stick to it.

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Netflix teams with AWS to launch VHS-as-a-service

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Happy

Re: I used to rent lots of tapes

I used to rent Betamax tapes.

Well, my parents did. I just used to watch them.

1
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Encryption is the REAL threat – Head Europlod

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Thumb Down

Let's ban secure banking. Because that's going to pose no problems for anyone.

Seriously, this guy needs to be unemployed. Because he genuinely does not understand the nature of computer security. What he is suggesting would allow criminals carte blanche to steal, and there would be nothing EuroPol could do about it.

This statement proves that he is incapable of doing the job effectively. He shouldn't have this job - or any other job in law enforcement. Effective immediately. Career over. Welcome to the dole queue.

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El Reg uncages its truly demonic BOFH t-shirt

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Thumb Up

Still got mine from last time. Not sure how many times it has been washed but it still looks like new. Good times.

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'Why don't you buy from foreign sites?' asks Commish, snapping on the gloves

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Happy

Who ever thought Interflora would be touted as being from the future?

2
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Dutch Transport Inspectorate raid Uber's Amsterdam office

Zippy's Sausage Factory

I like not being murdered by psychos who can register themselves on some weird app as a faux taxi driver. That's why I like licences for taxi drivers, as they provide at least some guarantee that you've not been picked up by some random serial killer.

I can understand Uber being an aggregator for taxis, like booking.com is for hotels. But a service like UberPOP? I'm not sure why anyone who isn't massively suicidal would use it...

6
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Hated biz smart meter rollout: UK.gov sticks chin out, shuts eyes

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Trollface

Last I heard it was 2G. O2 made some sort of commitment to keep their 2G network going, just for smart meters, I believe.

Because that's totally secure and unhackable, amirite?

1
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Greedy web borg Facebook to SLURP news websites' golden nuggets

Zippy's Sausage Factory

This does start to raise the question - what is Facebook actually FOR? What does it do? Why would I use it?

The moment a site stops being able to answer that question is the moment you know it's just slapped on a pair of water skies and jumped over a shark...

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Delving into Office 2016: Microsoft goes public with new preview

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Thumb Down

If Office 2016 is anything like Visual Studio 2013 then there will be lots of screen space wasted with cloud nonsense you will never EVER use (do Microsoft make updates of Visual Studio often enough that I need a flag PERMANENTLY on screen to light up when they are? No, to be frank).

So it looks a bit more 2007ish and a little bit less Windows 3.1, but still boring, flat, plain, cheesy and outdated. Actually, reminds me more of Word 2.0c now - go figure.

And will they have fixed some of the UI inconsistencies? Unlikely. Will they have fixed the VBA problems in Excel? Doubtful. Will they have fixed the dreaded pagecount bug first discovered in Word 2 that is still open today? Almost certainly not.

So... why bother with MS Office any more? Really? All they do is make it look a bit different but don't bother fixing the things that stop you doing your job. Right now, Libre and Open Office look a better bet because I can actually get work done in them. I'd pay money for them, but I wouldn't even bother installing Office 2016 if you gave it to me.

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Unsurprising report: UK local govt sites remain totally crap

Zippy's Sausage Factory

I expect your FOI request will be denied on the grounds that information is already available. It should be in council budget minutes, and that's where they will redirect you.

Now, if you can't find the minutes of the budget minutes on their website, that's a different kettle of fish. That's the sort of thing you need to refer to someone with bite (ODPM? NAO? no idea who these days) because there is a serious proper legal duty to publish council minutes.

That will get you investment costs, anyway. TCO they probably don't know themselves...

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Zippy's Sausage Factory

I used to work in local government. Most people don't even know which of their local councils does what. We regularly used to get emails about the County Hall building - even though the county council had a totally different name from us, and a VERY big sign saying which council it belonged to.

As an aside, if 'ModernGov' is descended from APLAWS, then... no, I'm not going there. Let's leave that oen dead and buried.

2
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Google MURDERS Google Code, orders everyone out to GitHub and co

Zippy's Sausage Factory
WTF?

So what's next?

If they're closing Google Code, how long have Picasa, Google Earth or even GMail got left?

Seriously, this is the second service they've yanked out from under me (anyone else still upset about Reader?). Looks like I need to find a new email provider while I still have time...

2
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£280k Kickstarter camera trigger campaign crashes and burns

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Facepalm

Second system effect

A great deal of the big mistakes have been made time and time again. This feels like Multics all over again...

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Microsoft opens kimono on Windows 10 Universal App Platform

Zippy's Sausage Factory

You can sideload Androids already

There's an option in the settings to allow it if I recall correctly (not had a droid since Android 4.0 but I presume it's still there)

Despite having an iOS device for ages I still can't remember if it's possible

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
Unhappy

XAML?

I was hoping they'd killed that with WPF. It's just pure nightmare fuel.

5
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TalkTalk 'fesses up to MEGA data breach

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Devil

This now makes me happier about not being a TalkTalk customer after ten years.

Although that said, I used to get daily marketing calls from them asking me to open a new contract for two years - which I always used to bat away quickly, unless I was in a bad mood that is...

1
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Money from apps? It's all about Apple iOS, says survey

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Meh

Doesn't this just reflect the fact that Apple customers have money to spend - they're equivalent to the top end Android people, which is probably 20% of Android users but 80% of the Google Play revenue. Everyone else is on cheaper "landfill" Android and can't afford stuff.

(That said, I have both Apple and Android kit around and only ever paid for stuff on the Apple app store... hmm...)

8
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'YOUTUBE is EVIL': Somebody had a tape running, Google...

Zippy's Sausage Factory

You're misreading SOPA

If I recall correctly, SOPA would have done next to nothing to fix the Google landgrab issue. It would, however, have done a great deal towards making many more people criminals than currently are by making ripping CDs and DVDs illegal. Ripped all your CDs to iTunes? Oh that's a $2 million dollar fine and a thousand years in jail. Next criminal please...

15
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'People ACTUALLY CONFUSE Facebook and the internet in some places'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Thumb Up

Re: Facebook/Portugal

Some days, I wonder if those 358 were the ones that actually live here, the way some people moan... :-P

+1 for the Deicide quote. "In The Minds Of Evil", indeed...

0
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Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android

Zippy's Sausage Factory
WTF?

Commercial use forbidden?

"Hey Google, Apple, here's the enterprise market for you - come and get it. Love, Microsoft"

FFS...

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Lazy FTSE 350 firms think lawyers can fight off cyber-security worries

Zippy's Sausage Factory
WTF?

Lawyers... because closing the stable door after the horse has bolted always solves everything.

Seriously... what happens when you have no corporate IT systems and you're being chased for payments left, right and centre? Do you think the HMRC would have any sympathy, lawyers or no lawyers?

Relying on lawyers in this situation is like saying you're not worried about leaving your front door open because you've got insurance. It doesn't help when you've got no clothes, no telly and no cooker.

Idiots.

5
0

Go Canada: Now ILLEGAL to auto-update software without 'consent'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Meh

Re: hmmm...

Enforcing is one thing, catching is another. This does, however, give them a law to throw at foreign agencies for extradition requests etc.

And don't the RCMP claim worldwide jurisdiction anyway? Or am I misremembering something I glance-read about six months ago?

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Peers warn against rushing 'enhanced' DATA SLURP powers through Parliament

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Thumb Down

I wrote to my local MP last time there was a vote about Big Brother and received a quite cold letter informing me that passing legislation to keep tabs on jihadis was much more important than any civil rights issues.

I wish that was a joke, but it isn't.

7
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Microsoft patch batch pre-alerts now for paying customers ONLY

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Joke

In other words...

" However, NSA feedback indicates that many of our large customers no longer use ANS in the same way they did in the past due to optimised testing and deployment methodologies. While some customers still rely on ANS, they want the vast majority to wait for Update Tuesday, or (preferably) take no action, allowing the NSA to pwn their systems automatically."

FTFY

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