* Posts by Zippy's Sausage Factory

330 posts • joined 12 Mar 2008

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HP Ink COO: Sorry not sorry we bricked your otherwise totally fine printer cartridges

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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I stopped buying HP printers years ago

When I opened the front tray to change the ink cartridge on one for the first time and a load of springs fell out.

I'm pretty sure that wasn't meant to happen as the printer stopped working after that. It was only two months old, as well.

(Before you ask, I did get a refund thanks, and instead bought a Canon MFC which was built like a tank and lasted five or six years with no problems whatsoever. It probably still works - my ex has it now.)

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Sage advice: Avoid the Windows 10 Anniversary Update – it knackers our accounting app

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Sage has been like this since forever...

I remember years ago it used to be you couldn't even have Sage on a network share unless it was Novell.

Honestly why people continue to use Sage for anything, ever, I have no idea.

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Official: Windows 10 has hit the 400 million device mark

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Well, mine's no longer in there.

Ubuntu + Cinnamon + Virtual Box. Not that I have Windows in a VBox yet, just OS/2 4 (more useful than Windows 10, anyway...)

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The server's down. At 3AM. On Christmas. You're drunk. So you put a disk in the freezer

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: >Silly us: we blew a Christmas On-Call story months before the day.

I can never remember which undead monster we're supposed to be worshipping.

Christmas is the one where we celebrate how the Easter bunny brought Frankenstein's monster back to life in order to put him on top of the bonfire on November 5th.

I think.

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Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Facepalm

I find the adblocker blockers more annoying than the ads, usually

Most of the time I get an aggressive "turn off your adblocker" message when I don't have an adblocker installed.

So I go to a browser that does have one installed and - guess what - site works fine.

I'm of the opinion that adblocker-blockers are probably going to end up costing sites more money than they lose through ad blockers anyway. Although that would be exceptionally difficult to quantify accurately, of course...

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If we can't fix this printer tonight, the bank's core app will stop working

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Fired?

Let's face it, by the sound of it this system was probably written some time in the 60s. In COBOL. The guy who wrote it probably has long retired, if not already being dead.

Remember, in the 60s they expected these systems to be replaced within ten years. Hence the millennium bug...

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I want to remotely disable Londoners' cars, says Met's top cop

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Facepalm

Police get it Monday, criminals get it Tuesday

He really doesn't understand what he's talking about, does he?

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My God, I've got nothing on! Microsoft's $200m Wunderlist is down

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Windows

That migration to SQL Server's working really well then...

"We're Microsoft, we eat our own dog food".

Great. If I want an RDBMS, I'd prefer the caviar one rather than one that the company's own employees openly refer to as "dog food".

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Microsoft snubs alert over Exchange hole

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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FAIL

Um, spoofing a web server?

I think "domain web server" is the ambiguity here.

As I read it, I think MS are assuming that the means you need to hack the Active Directory server to make it happen. (At that point, you already have bigger problems than password snooping).

I read it as "a web server in the same domain". Which could possibly be spoofed (and I'm sure that's easier than hacking the Active Directory server), and is probably going to go a long way towards hacking your Active Directory server.

Still, a typical Microsoft response: we're right, you're wrong, now shut up.

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Google tries to lure .NET devs with PowerShell cloud bait

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Windows

I like to imagine Powershell

as a small, long-nosed, deformed pale creature, sitting all alone in a corner muttering to itself:

"No one like Powershell. Powershell so lonely. Why Powershell exist?"

Which is far more entertaining than trying to have to use it, which is like being repeatedly tested by an over officious teacher whose favourite trick is to lean as close to you as possible and every time you answer just shout "WRONG" as loudly as possible right in your ear...

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Brexit makes life harder for an Internet of Things startup

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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@Jeremy3

Negotiations can't start until Britain triggers article 50 and may not even start until the two years are up depending how you interpret EU law.

For "non EU goods" to be sold in the UK and the EU, they need to abide by both UK and EU law. The restrictions of having a more specific UK set of laws that aren't harmonised with the EU means that there will be a higher bar to entry into this market for UK companies.

In terms of how "larger more established companies" do business, some Japanese companies have in fact been looking into this very thing. Which is why they've threatened to move their European HQs out of the UK if it leaves the EU.

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Devil

"Brexit makes life harder for an Internet of Things startup"

That's the first thing I've heard about Brexit that I'd regard as a positive that might actually be true...

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'Oi! El Reg! Stop pretending Microsoft has a BSOD monopoly!'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Trollface

Re: Machine Operating System

!BOOT?

Anybody ever write a virus for one then? :)

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Double-negative tweet could be Microsoft Surface Phone hint

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Um...

Didn't Intel give up on mobile x86 chips already? I'm guessing that if there is going to be a Surface phone running on Intel chips, it's going to have more to do with the recent ARM licensing deal Intel did with them...

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Apple: Crisis? What innovation crisis? BTW, you like our toothbrush?

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Flame

Just.... no

I've had an iphone 3, 4, 4s, 5 and now 6+. But give me back my headphone socket or I go Android for my next phone.

Seriously.

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Apple killed OS X today and binned its $10,000 BlingWatch too

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Sorry pedants, your time has come to an end.

Me and a friend had a pact to always pronounce it "Oh-Ess Ex" just to annoy pedants.

One of our less successful pedant trolls, but it kept us amused...

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Adobe reverses decision to kill NPAPI Flash plugin for Linux

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Pirate

Anyone else get this mental image?

I have a mental image of someone repeatedly hitting a zombie with a shovel saying "why... won't... you... die?"

Probably Shaun of the Dead, but maybe not. I probably watch too many zombie movies (or not enough, take your pick).

Skull and crossbones because there's no brains icon...

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OpenBSD 6.0 lands

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Does anyone know

If there's a decent VAX editor around? Or should I have a crack at writing one (I've always fancied writing an emulator, truth to tell, but everything's already been done so well it seems pointless...)

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Tim Cook: EU lied about Apple taxes. Watch out Ireland, this is a coup!

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Missing the bigger picture...

And there aren't similar rulings the EU instituted against EU companies then?

If the US government start crying that US companies should be able to flout rules that EU companies cannot, I suspect that will pretty much be considered the opening salvo in a rather long and unpleasant trade war.

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Mushroom

Didn't some German car companies get stung for billions a few years back?

I'm sure I recall that the US government pushed hard for this to happen under the auspices of illegal state aid? Even if not, it's happened to Spanish football clubs - even the Lloyds bailout had to be structured VERY carefully to avoid it being illegal state aid.

Given that these sorts of issues have happened a lot (the Spanish football clubs lost, incidentally) I can't help but feel that if I were an Apple shareholder, I'd be calling for Tim Cook to be fired right now - for incompetence in allowing what was clearly an illegal tax avoidance scam to go ahead in the first place.

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Dropbox: Leaked DB of 68 million account passwords is real

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Trollface

Good luck compromising my Dropbox

Given that I deleted it when they appointed noted privacy campaigner and pacifist Condoleeza Rice to the board...

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Labour's Jeremy Corbyn wants high speed broadband for all. Wow, original idea there

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Joke

Re: Socialism?

Thus proving that nobody actually understands what socialism is, we just misunderstand it in different ways...

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Windows Update borks PowerShell – Microsoft won't fix it for a week

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Just put us all out of our misery, MSFT...

Just kill PowerShell. Take it out back and put it out of its misery. Then adopt bash instead.

That way everyone will be much happier...

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Excel hell messes up ~20 per cent of genetic science papers

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Windows

Re: An easy fix ...

It predates Lotus 1-2-3. I remember using it in CalcStar on CP/M 2.2 back in the 80s.

Ah, happy days... :)

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: My pet gripe is

I'm guessing the problem the OP is having here is other people. Namely that there is a specific need to format the dates and times in this format. The fact that Excel doesn't contain the format with seconds means people are using the format that contains only minutes and then there are support calls when they don't understand why the data doesn't look right.

In other words, Excel is making people take a shortcut down the wrong route.

(As an aside, if I had all the money I've seen wasted thanks to Excel diverted to my bank account, I'd be able to own my own private island, which I could fly to and from every day in a helicopter made of solid gold piloted by a hired supermodel.)

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Microsoft’s Continuum: Game changer or novelty?

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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iPhone 7?

Can't imagine Apple haven't looked at this and gone "handover... why exactly did we just leave it there?"

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You shrunk the database into a .gz and the app won't work? Sigh

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Replace tape

I finished reading this and got three comments further down until I realised I wasn't paying any attention and just thinking about Susanna Hoffs.

Saddo that I am, I was actually thinking "I know that name from somewhere, who is she?"

Ah yes, Bangles. My one chance to see them we got lost - wandering around Hyde Park with "Walk Like An Egyptian" blaring out...

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Microsoft has open-sourced PowerShell for Linux, Macs. Repeat, Microsoft has open-sourced PowerShell

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Yecch.

Having had the misfortune of having had to work with PowerShell, I'd prefer their bash for Windows get prime slot, and PowerShell be taken out behind the shed and dealt with in much the same way as Old Yeller.

Really, it's just one of those hellish products that sounded like a really good idea until you saw how genuinely awful it was to work with.

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New UK trade deals would not compensate for loss of single market membership

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Er...

People do know that we're only WTO members by virtue of our EU membership, right? Once we leave, we're no longer members.

Basically, we'd have to negotiate to join the WTO in order to get people to play by WTO rules. And all it takes is one veto to make sure it doesn't happen. I'm sure the corporations are drooling over the concessions that they can get from the UK in exchange for no veto: selloff of the NHS to US health care companies, all GMO agriculture, relaxation of gun laws...

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Hey, turn down that radio, it's alien season and we're hunting aliens

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Trollface

Re: Certainly there's no intelligent life between 103 and 108 MHz

BBC Radio 4 is also available on long wave, at lower frequency, with more cricket. Some would argue that this increases the IQ of the station considerably...

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This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: its not just in public sector :)

Only sugar made with sugar cane is approved by the Vegetarian society (traditional refining processes for sugar beet use animal products). So if this was a veggie product that needed the logo for marketing, I can see this would be a problem.

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Legal reasons

My guess would be they're used for prosecutions - e.g. by health inspectors to take pictures of rats with a digital camera (not a phone).

Probably they need a separate SD card for each prosecution so that it can be verified when the pictures were taken rather than copying stock photos into a folder (you know - forensic copy, store the original in a safe).

This is why councils buy big expensive WORM drives to store council tax records in case they get challenged in court...

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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What's the source?

When I worked for a council, the local paper reported that we spent £11 million on an email system.

How anyone can spend eleven million quid on Exchange 2000 boggles me, but they basically read the accounts wrong - £11 million was our entire IT budget, including staff, Oracle licences, Sun hardware, Exchange - everything. For three years*.

* Yes, this was a few years back, just in case you skimread the "2000" bit...

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Microsoft grabs employment guns, aims at British sales units

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Joke

Re: David Copperfield

Maybe the MS staff will be too scared to run because they have tears in their eyes?

(Just to mix the metaphors a little bit more...)

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Gullible Essex Police are now using junk science lie detectors

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Mushroom

Can we not just ban the damn things?

And force the Kyle monster to say "and I must emphasise that legally I can say that these results are for entertainment purposes only"?

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Microsoft adds useful feature to PowerPoint. Seriously

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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That's nothing

I'm still waiting for them to fix a bug with page numbering that they introduced in Word 2.0c.

As of the latest Office 3.65 / Word 2016, it's still there.

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Boo hoo. Brexit to hit Capita's bottom line

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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The UK government will do ANYTHING for Capita

So Brexit probably won't happen then.

In the same way that IR35 is NEVER going away. Ever.

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HMRC research finds 'resistance' to proposals to shift contractor tax compliance burden

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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When it comes to IR35, HMRC has one criteria they really care about, and one only:

a) Does it benefit Capita

b) Does it help people to compete against Capita?

If the answer's yes to (a), they do it. If it's yes to (b), they do the opposite.

Simples.

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UK's climate change dept abolished, but 'smart meters and all our policies strong as ever'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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How "involved" are GCHQ?

Security? Maybe.

Allowing GCHQ read/write access to your meter and allowing them to shut down your entire house if they feel like it? You might think that - I couldn't possibly comment...

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US drug squads told to get a warrant before tracking mobile phones

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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No more CSI cyber?

But how will I enjoy deliberately watching something else while it's on now?

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It's 2016 and Windows lets crims poison your printer drivers

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Unhappy

This is deja vu all over again

ActiveX used to do this until MS realised that was a bad idea. So they did the same with printer drivers, because if you punch yourself once in the face and it hurts, the only sure cure is to punch yourself in the face again, right?

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Germany: If Brits vote to Remain, we'll admit Hurst's 1966 goal was a goal

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: And here's me...

I'd seriously love to hear Henning Wehn's take on the whole Brexit referendum. Alas, I don't often get back to the UK to find out...

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Man-in-the-middle biz Blue Coat bought by Symantec: Infosec bods are worried

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: So Symantec bought them?

Quarterdeck had a bit more than that, especially since I don't even remember the DOS stuff you're talking about. I was actually thinking of CleanSweep (rock solid reliable until Symantec made it as buggy as the Okefenokee swamp), PartitionIt!, Internet Suite (which was actually a very useful bit of kit, if I remember right)...

Although to be fair, reading the Wikipedia article I'm not sure whether they acquired those. Either way, I was annoyed that some stuff I paid good money for and used and found very useful I couldn't get any more. (Eventually I might tell you the story of how I used CleanSweep to save people a small fortune in council tax, but not right now...)

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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So Symantec bought them?

I expect BlueCoat's business to go the same way as did QuarterDeck, Norton Ghost... oh god how many acquisitions have there been where they've destroyed perfectly good product lines?

I fully expect that none of BlueCoat's product lines - except the one that Symantec will for some bizarre reason manage to keep profitable - will be around in a year or two...

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TWELVE YEARS of US Air Force complaints lost in database crash

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: Was this really an accident?

Watch and see who gets big fat bonuses and/or cushy new assignments. If they post the previous manager to the coldest, harshest, worst-paid posting in Alaska, that'll also be an indicator...

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The Microsoft-LinkedIn hookup will be the END of DAYS, I tell you

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Re: "...many HR departments hire entirely by certification."

This is perhaps the most worrying thought, and - probably - the most likely to happen.

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Microsoft buys LinkedIn for the price of 36 Instagrams

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Meh

Let me guess...

Soon, you will need an Office 365 licence to use LinkedIn...

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PC market sinking even faster than first thought, thanks to Windows 10

Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Windows

Re: Desktop Android is the future

Yeah, I can't imagine much worse either. But sadly I think that is what is going to happen.

And hey, my least popular Reg comment ever. Three thumbs down - a new record :)

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Zippy's Sausage Factory
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Desktop Android is the future

I kind of wish it wasn't, as I've been a Windows developer for 20 years. But I have a feeling that the writing is on the wall. Sooner or later, it's going to be Android on the desktop, Windows or Linux on the (mainframe - ahem, sorry - cloud) server and that's the state of the world. There will still be a few % of desktop Windows, Linux and OS X ( or macOS or fruitbat or whatever name they finally decide to change it to ) but I think it's inevitable...

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