* Posts by Zippy's Sausage Factory

297 posts • joined 12 Mar 2008

Page:

Gullible Essex Police are now using junk science lie detectors

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Can we not just ban the damn things?

And force the Kyle monster to say "and I must emphasise that legally I can say that these results are for entertainment purposes only"?

5
0

Microsoft adds useful feature to PowerPoint. Seriously

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

That's nothing

I'm still waiting for them to fix a bug with page numbering that they introduced in Word 2.0c.

As of the latest Office 3.65 / Word 2016, it's still there.

4
1

Boo hoo. Brexit to hit Capita's bottom line

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

The UK government will do ANYTHING for Capita

So Brexit probably won't happen then.

In the same way that IR35 is NEVER going away. Ever.

2
0

HMRC research finds 'resistance' to proposals to shift contractor tax compliance burden

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

When it comes to IR35, HMRC has one criteria they really care about, and one only:

a) Does it benefit Capita

b) Does it help people to compete against Capita?

If the answer's yes to (a), they do it. If it's yes to (b), they do the opposite.

Simples.

16
0

UK's climate change dept abolished, but 'smart meters and all our policies strong as ever'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

How "involved" are GCHQ?

Security? Maybe.

Allowing GCHQ read/write access to your meter and allowing them to shut down your entire house if they feel like it? You might think that - I couldn't possibly comment...

1
0

US drug squads told to get a warrant before tracking mobile phones

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

No more CSI cyber?

But how will I enjoy deliberately watching something else while it's on now?

2
0

It's 2016 and Windows lets crims poison your printer drivers

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Unhappy

This is deja vu all over again

ActiveX used to do this until MS realised that was a bad idea. So they did the same with printer drivers, because if you punch yourself once in the face and it hurts, the only sure cure is to punch yourself in the face again, right?

2
5

This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Legal reasons

My guess would be they're used for prosecutions - e.g. by health inspectors to take pictures of rats with a digital camera (not a phone).

Probably they need a separate SD card for each prosecution so that it can be verified when the pictures were taken rather than copying stock photos into a folder (you know - forensic copy, store the original in a safe).

This is why councils buy big expensive WORM drives to store council tax records in case they get challenged in court...

3
0
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

What's the source?

When I worked for a council, the local paper reported that we spent £11 million on an email system.

How anyone can spend eleven million quid on Exchange 2000 boggles me, but they basically read the accounts wrong - £11 million was our entire IT budget, including staff, Oracle licences, Sun hardware, Exchange - everything. For three years*.

* Yes, this was a few years back, just in case you skimread the "2000" bit...

1
0

Germany: If Brits vote to Remain, we'll admit Hurst's 1966 goal was a goal

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: And here's me...

I'd seriously love to hear Henning Wehn's take on the whole Brexit referendum. Alas, I don't often get back to the UK to find out...

3
0

Man-in-the-middle biz Blue Coat bought by Symantec: Infosec bods are worried

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: So Symantec bought them?

Quarterdeck had a bit more than that, especially since I don't even remember the DOS stuff you're talking about. I was actually thinking of CleanSweep (rock solid reliable until Symantec made it as buggy as the Okefenokee swamp), PartitionIt!, Internet Suite (which was actually a very useful bit of kit, if I remember right)...

Although to be fair, reading the Wikipedia article I'm not sure whether they acquired those. Either way, I was annoyed that some stuff I paid good money for and used and found very useful I couldn't get any more. (Eventually I might tell you the story of how I used CleanSweep to save people a small fortune in council tax, but not right now...)

0
0
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

So Symantec bought them?

I expect BlueCoat's business to go the same way as did QuarterDeck, Norton Ghost... oh god how many acquisitions have there been where they've destroyed perfectly good product lines?

I fully expect that none of BlueCoat's product lines - except the one that Symantec will for some bizarre reason manage to keep profitable - will be around in a year or two...

7
0

TWELVE YEARS of US Air Force complaints lost in database crash

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Was this really an accident?

Watch and see who gets big fat bonuses and/or cushy new assignments. If they post the previous manager to the coldest, harshest, worst-paid posting in Alaska, that'll also be an indicator...

3
0

The Microsoft-LinkedIn hookup will be the END of DAYS, I tell you

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: "...many HR departments hire entirely by certification."

This is perhaps the most worrying thought, and - probably - the most likely to happen.

12
2

Microsoft buys LinkedIn for the price of 36 Instagrams

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Meh

Let me guess...

Soon, you will need an Office 365 licence to use LinkedIn...

1
0

PC market sinking even faster than first thought, thanks to Windows 10

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Windows

Re: Desktop Android is the future

Yeah, I can't imagine much worse either. But sadly I think that is what is going to happen.

And hey, my least popular Reg comment ever. Three thumbs down - a new record :)

0
1
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Desktop Android is the future

I kind of wish it wasn't, as I've been a Windows developer for 20 years. But I have a feeling that the writing is on the wall. Sooner or later, it's going to be Android on the desktop, Windows or Linux on the (mainframe - ahem, sorry - cloud) server and that's the state of the world. There will still be a few % of desktop Windows, Linux and OS X ( or macOS or fruitbat or whatever name they finally decide to change it to ) but I think it's inevitable...

3
5

UK Home Office is creating mega database by stitching together ALL its gov records

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

That wouldn't be so bad...

After all, anyone who's read the Oracle documentation knows that RowID values aren't guaranteed to be persistent across queries...

(Or they weren't ten years ago, anyway)

2
0

Scrum.org hacked, may have lost crypto keys and some user data

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Given my experience of "scrum masters"

this sort of level of competence sounds about usual for anyone whose undertaken their qualifications...

8
0

Life after Safe Harbour: Avoiding Uncle Sam's data rules gotchas

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Summary

That's true in every agreement. Take the agreement that led to the UK's Extradition Act 2003. The USA can extradite anyone they want from the UK, for any reason, without evidence. The UK was supposed to have the same powers in the USA but Congress vetoed it. Although it was made clear the UK *must* stick to its end of the deal though...

Same with TTIP, CETA, TPP, you name it. That's one reason I'm totally against trade agreements with the USA - they tend to be as equitable as a deal with Al Capone...

15
0

Microsoft won't back down from Windows 10 nagware 'trick'

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: My opinion on this?

I think I'll stick with Windows 10 When I Want It thanks.

5
3

SHOCK: GM crops are good for you and the planet, reckon boffins

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Management, only management

True that. You can verify this by a simple search of the legal cases Monsanto has brought against farmers for "unauthorised growing" of their seeds. Which the other side says is "unwanted contamination" of their (frequently organic) crops.

0
0
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

GM is all well and good, but the risks aren't all about the science.

For a start, they are patented technology. You buy from Monsanto, you can never grow your own. Monsanto control your business. (Or Bayer Agri, Syngenta, whomever. But Monsanto are the big player here). Now what happens if, say, Monsanto gets bought a foreign power? Suddenly your entire country's food supply is controlled by a foreign power. (There's a bid by a Chinese company to buy Monsanto, incidentally).

Plus, of course, there's the problems of monocultures - if everywhere in the world uses the same pesticide it just takes one species of pest to become resistant to that pesticide and suddenly every farmer who plants that GM crop has the same problem at the same time. If that's a staple foodstuff, that becomes everybody's problem.

As for scientific consensus, don't make me laugh. We all know these surveys are paid for by the very companies whose products they so enthusiastically endorse as "good for you and good for the environment". I'll remind you that there were similar studies in the 1950s that showed the positive health benefits of smoking.

3
1

The 'new' Microsoft? I still wouldn't touch them with a barge pole

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Like a drug pusher...

"Over and over Microsoft is trying to herd businesses into using its cloud services. It wants subscriptions for everything, and they doesn't seem shy about turning the knobs on pricing and/or feature-busting once enough customers have migrated."

First hit is free, then you pay. Unless you want the withdrawal symptoms...

14
0
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Pint

I wish I could give that a double upvote...

7
0

Intel has driven a dagger through Microsoft's mobile strategy

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Logic & Gui

Didn't they almost split the logic and the GUI once - or at least, make a start on it? It was part of the philosophy of Windows NT <= 3.51 if I remember right.

I also seem to remember Gates felt it was too slow so they ditched the idea of trying to move to that sort of idea with NT 4.

0
0

UK.gov refuses to give surveillance commish enforcement powers

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

In other words

"After the next election, you'll be abolished, so don't even dare try thinking for yourself. Every security camera everywhere will then be able to be seen by the security services, but data protection, privacy and personal freedom will be ignored forever."

15
0

Switch survives three hours of beer spray, fails after twelve

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Reading that made my eye twitch...

Weirdly, I've known people worse than that. Usually they were MCSEs.

I did once witness the exciting spectacle of a helpdesk person teaching an MCSE how to plug in a server and switch it on. This took half an hour. She seriously had to explain power switches to the guy.

I seem to remember she got another job quite soon after that. Allegedly it was because the commute was shorter in the new role...

10
0

Windows 10 handcuffs Cortana web search to Bing and Edge browser

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Devil

Sounds like an STD to me

"I've got the Cortana"

"I want a divorce, you filty beast!"

3
0

Sneaky Google KOs 'right to be forgotten' from search results

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Happens on StartPage too

By the Flying Spaghetti Monster's Noodly Tentacles, do I have to start using Bing now? Ugh...

0
0

European Union set to release anti-competition hounds on Google

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Murdoch ?

His mum lived to be 101.

So, probably.

1
0

Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

I'm so upset.

Now excuse me while I do my happydance round the office :)

3
0

Websites take control of USB devices: Googlers propose WebUSB API

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Because there's no possibility of security holes here

Reminds me of the VB 5 setup screen*:

"Deploy ActiveX controls that run on the user's PC - with no interaction".

Because nothing could ever have gone wrong with that either...

* Yes, I do go back that far. I'll get me Zimmer frame...

4
0

The future of Firefox is … Chrome

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Choice

As a huge PaleMoon fan it's nice to see so prominent a thread saying everything I wanted to say for me.

Er, that's it.

11
0

How Remix's Android will eat the world

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: "Remix OS with...

"What matters here is whether Windows 10's App Store is catching up, not just in mere quantity, but in quality apps from major names. And they are."

What matters is whether Windows 10 devices are selling. The phones aren't. There will be a Surface phone next year, but it will probably be too little, too late. In the meantime, it's down to Windows 10 on the desktop and the recent broadening out of the app store suggests there's some desperation in Redmond around how things are going.

I've looked in the app store on Windows 10. I can't see that many quality apps from major names myself.

14
1

Go nuts, brother: Ubuntu 16.04 beta – no more auto data-spaffing

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Too little, too late in this house...

My other half hath glimpsed the promised land of Fedora, and pronounced it good...

Seriously though, the bodgy updates of the last version meant we couldn't recommend it to family members, especially those who always press the "install each and every update, I care not what they do or why, for I enjoy living on the edge!"

So I guess reinstalling her laptop as Fedora 23 is on the cards for the next few days...

1
7

Biometrics not a magic infosec bullet for web banking, warns GCHQ bloke

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

I'd also add

That biometrics are the username, tattooed on your forehead.

4
0

Google-backed British startup ‘stole our code’, says US marketing firm

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

If it's .Net code

Then there are a bazillion de-compilers available. Telerik JustDecompile, for example, will convert DLLs to entire projects you can split back into Visual Studio easily. I suspect the same sort of thing exists for Java and most other bytecode based languages.

0
0

SQL Server for Linux: A sign of Microsoft's weakness. Sort of

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: So what's getting ported?

.Net's already available on Linux and OS X, and they're just going to expand that. Active Directory as a service already exists. SQL has always supported its own authentication, and outside of a developer's PC you're probably not using AD authentication anyway (yet), so I don't see a problem.

As for whether it'll run better than a three legged dog in lead boots wading through treacle, that's the killer. I doubt the port will be even half baked, but it'll be disastrous enough that the Windows team can start screaming "see, NOBODY wants SQL on Linux!" and the internal warfare at MS will start again

3
1
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: I came to work this morning, so it makes no sense ever to go home.

I read that bit as meaning that porting it would anger the partners whose IP they originally licenced, and it would have made no sense from a "not getting bogged down in expensive and annoying legal cases and potentially have to drop the product altogether" kind of way.

1
1

GCHQ: Crypto's great, we're your mate, don't be like that and hate

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Same ethical problem as hammers

Hammers can be used as a weapon by criminals, yet we all still enjoy their ability to put nails into walls, a process which generally speaking prevents our houses falling down.

Ethical dilemma? Right. Spook friendly PR...

23
0

MAME goes fully FOSS

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Not really an ironic disclaimer...

Linux is a trademark of Linus Torvalds, and other open source efforts have had their names trademarked by unscrupulous asshats who then use UDRP to get hold of their domains and then push poisonous adware / malware infested versions of their hard work. It's a sensible precaution, is all.

21
0

$17 smartwatch sends something to random Chinese IP address

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Trollface

I can fragment that smart watch for you...

The same way the cat fragmented my non-smart watch this morning: a tile floor, a table and a sudden stop at the bottom :)

3
0

Irate IT distributors chase Amazon over unpaid bills

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Winding up order...

If it's more than £10K, go for a winding-up order on the grounds that Amazon UK is insolvent.

About that, they will care, I suspect...

4
0

Microsoft sneaks onto Android while Android sneaks onto Windows

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: Microsoft's biggest enemy: Microsoft

All those clever people - led into a war by complete idiots that are only bothered about a short-term gain (which they get a bonus on).

This is why I think the term "Applicants with MBAs need not apply" should be put on the bottom of every job advert, ever...

1
0
Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

Re: The future creeps closer...

There was a Linux distro that was designed to do just that a few years ago. It was intended to dig PearPC, wine, even VICE if I recall correctly... the idea being you could run anything on it.

I think it had bigger ideas than resources, alas.

0
0

Life's three certainties: Death, taxes and Salesforce losing money

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Trollface

They only lost $47 million!

On turnover of $1.6bn!

Time to buy all teh sharez...

Seriously... I've seen Nigerian princes with better scams than that...

2
0

Hackers use Microsoft security tool to pwn Microsoft security tool

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
WTF?

So... the function that unloads EMET can be used to unload EMET? That's a discovery along the lines of when you shoot yourself in the foot, it hurts.

Isn't this simply using something to do what it's supposed to do to do something you don't want it to do. I can sell you a chainsaw, but if someone breaks into your house and saws off your leg with it, that's really not a problem with the chainsaw, per se, but one of access to the chainsaw.

Which sounds like it's already fixed, so really no particular annoyance. Although to be fair, I doubt it's ever going to get fixed on anything before Windows 10. I'm going to stop now because I'm really trying hard not to say "all your data are belong to us" here. Oh. Damn.

2
0

Cybersecurity is slowing down my business, say majority of chief execs

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: 71% of top bosses are incompetent, want unicornmeat in a box by friday

pitchforks and hangings

Nah, hanging's too good for 'em. How about making them watch every existing episode of Crossroads. Simultaneously.

0
0

Debian 6.0 about to take flying leap off long term support cliff

Zippy's Sausage Factory
Bronze badge

I've always fancied rolling my own Linux. I'd try and avoid all direct GNU and BSD components, not for any particular ideology but just to see whether it could be done. Probably use the open source CDE stuff, LLVM for compiler...

That said, I'm nowhere close to good enough a Linux hacker to actually go further than this being a pipedream, so I guess I'll end up upgrading anyway...

1
0

Page:

Forums