9 posts • joined Monday 10th March 2008 23:13 GMT
NuLab to bring in new tax
Since volcanoes are serious emitters of millions of tons of poison greenhouse gases (CO2,H2S,NO2 & SO2 etc.), your "Democratically elected, wise and caring Government" (c) has decreed that ownership and operation of volcanoes will now be taxed in varying bands, worked out on an above inflation adjusted scale that depends on how many MP's and their relatives may be claiming expenses and allowances.
In a seperate statement, The Mayor of "NuGreen" London stated that daily charges for eruptions within the M25 and any surrounding local area up to 500 Nautical Miles would be introduced, however electric and geo-thermal powered geysers and hot springs would be exempt or pay less than dormant or active volcanoes, extinct volcanoes would be offered a discount if they were already resident and registered with the Ordnance Survey.
Can I have...
The military version - radar guided target acquisition for high output tight beam microwave emitters & EM pulse generators (like the PFY's "pinch"), and a visible laser projector that will show the following message in the mirror of the car or van (esp. Merc. Sprinter) in front of me :- "FIX YOUR **** BRAKE LIGHTS".
But seriously, many HGV's have the sign "If you can't see my mirrors, then I can't see you!", I tend to work on the principle that "Just because I can see your mirrors doesn't mean that you've seen me!".
After all in the UK we have more road signs per mile than anywhere else - information overload for the driver - are you going to be able to pay attention to the vehicle in front of you, the one behind you, the ones on each side of you, the ones coming towards you, the pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists AND still read/understand the sign that says you're now in a bus lane and going to get a hefty fine because it's half-past next Wednesday in the second week of an odd month.
@Aiding and abetting?
q.Aiding and abetting?
a.Yes, everybody is guilty of something.
Expect the IFPI, RIAA, MPAA etc. to mount a take-over of the Vatican 'cos they don't want any competition in the guilt/punishment/absolution stakes, after all they've successfully managed it with the investigative/justice/political arms of the law enforcement and enactment bodies of most of the planet.
Orwellian 1984 anybody? Oops, should it be "1984"(c) - have I just infringed on the copyright of a book and a movie - or can you copyright a number, but that's for another DeCSS like topic.
An alternative way to lower emissions in the UK
How about this for a radical new idea - stop town planners/councils/politicians etc. being so bloody car un-friendly. i.e. AC's Hertfordshire town would have less cars in a queue with their engines running at 0mph if there was either adequate parking or if the town is big enough a cheap park&ride bus.
The way I see it is this, modern cars have a newfangled bit of technology called a gearbox, now gearboxes allow the engine to provide different rotational speeds to the wheels at the same engine rpm output.
As an example from my 2.5 Turbo veg-oil burner auto-box :-
tick-over/0mph - 750rpm - Lots of wasted energy
0-15mph 1st gear - 2000rpm
15-30mph 2nd gear - 2000rpm
30mph 3rd gear - 2000rpm
65mph 4th+overdrive -2500rpm ** good speed / fuel usage ratio
95mph - 4000rpm red line bad speed / fuel usage ratio
Acceleration 0-30mph 3500rpm for 6sec and I might just get to the next set of lights before they go red.
There appears to be a pattern to the above data - the faster/smoother my journey is the less emissions per mile per unit time are being produced.
The more time I spend crawling along or accelerating the worse the pollution generated vs. duration of journey.
If the "planners" decided that removing obstructions on the roads that slow traffic un-necessarily, like bus lanes and poorly designed one-way systems with bad traffic light phasing that cause bottleneck jams (e.g. Surrey Quays), and instead adopted a traffic friendly approach (Milton Keynes) then more journeys would be completed in a shorter period of time with less overall pollution, less wasted time and less wasted fuel.
But from their point of view less fuel usage means less tax & it doesn't look as politically "green" as being anti-car.
Boffin Icon - well the Powers-that-be wouldn't understand the concept.
Warm fuzzy memories - *I AM .. & !BOOT
Fuzzy - well it was over 25 years ago that I got to play with all that kit. I can still remember 75159 was the code for the Econet line driver chips a.k.a. on-board lightning surge protection.
I loved writing in 6502 assembly code, smaller, neater & faster than BASIC but the ability to call "machine code" sub routines from the BBC's BASIC was brilliant.
Elite (in colour with a 2nd processor) - probably one of the best personal teaching aids there was... game? No Sir!, it's educational - trading economics, spatial awareness(3D scanner was brilliant), hand/eye co-ordination, strategic and real-time tactical decision making.
Ouch moment - brand new "B+" just setup, not even on 30s when a full cup of coffee went all over it.
I here there's going to be at least one party - post budget celebrations - in the big house on St Margaret Street SW1, do you think if we advertise it on Facebook etc. there will be enough uninvited/unelected guests the riot police might go in and sort it out with "extreme prejudice". My one's the Hawaiian shirt with the passport & 'plane ticket in the pocket thanks.
- World's OLDEST human DNA found in leg bone – but that's not the only boning going on...
- Lightning strikes USB bosses: Next-gen jacks will be REVERSIBLE
- Pics Brit inventors' GRAVITY POWERED LIGHT ships out after just 1 year
- Microsoft teams up with Feds, Europol in ZeroAccess botnet zombie hunt
- Storagebod Oh no, RBS has gone titsup again... but is it JUST BAD LUCK?