* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1170 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

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Bloke called Rod struck by lightning for second time

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Aren't Rods odds the same?

The odds I expect are a million to one

And as we know from the late Pterry's works, the odds of a million to one shot coming up are about 9 times out of 10

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Why OH WHY did Blighty privatise EVERYTHING?

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Rolls royce got

nationalised because it was deep in the do do building the first trent engines (you know.. the things that power 1/2 the world's commercial aircraft)

Plus the fact it had various stratigic military products our defence needed.

Was it right to bail it out? yes.

BR was a different kettle of fish entirely, it was trying to run a national rail system in the face of unions and a subsidy less than the one given to the Paris metro

It could do nothing BUT fail

Then rail got privatised in the most illogical and stupid way until you realise it was all about breaking the power of the rail unions, you could hive off the pesky track people to sub contractors, each rail line would have multiple train operators on it so if one companies drivers went on strike, the trains would mostly still run.

Of course there was a downside

that was called railtrack...

<exec> oh why do we grind the rails every 3 months... if we did it every 6 the rails would last twice as long, anyone know?

<vice exec> nope we got rid of all those expensive engineering types who know why

<exec> ok 6 months it is..... .. .. . .. . .. . . . . what was that bang?

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BT: Let us scrap ordinary phone lines. You've all got great internet, right?

Boris the Cockroach
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Black Helicopters

I suspect

it has more to do with the rising value of copper metal than any interest by BT in making out for a better service.

More fibre goes in, the more copper comes out and can be sold...

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WikiLeaks spaffs files showing NSA spied on French presidents

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Re: What a surprise...

Its all fake outrage.

The only reason France, Germany, UK work with the yanks for spying operation is so that they get a feed on want the french, germans , yanks, and english are upto.

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RBS sticks it to customers once again as IT woes continue

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Should be shutting down soon

But then RBS falls over when word spreads that the depositers are removing their money,the resulting bank run busts RBS wide open, with other banks seriously in the firing line because of loans made to RBS, and the whole banking sector has to be bailed out again to the tune of 222 trillion pounds this time

(thats 2 trillion to safeguard the banks,20 trillion in bounses to the bank's various executives and 200 trillion to goldman sachs whos foresight in placing options on the banks is entirely due to senior goldman sachs staff having a revolving door policy with the various financial regulators.. alledgedly)

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NatWest IT cock-up sees 600,000 transactions go 'missing'

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Only way to solve this is vote with your money

It sure will.

They charge you a fair % for your being in debt to them.

The size of the debt really makes no odds, its those charges they are after.

Move to another bank and that bank will make money from your debt rather the shoddy bunch of idiots you are currently with.

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The insidious danger of the lone wolf control freak sysadmin

Boris the Cockroach
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It happens

everywhere

The 'star' player who refuses to write up documentation , then snoozles upto the management with ideas hes 'had'(in other words , pilfered off the rest of us) and finally can be seen working 12-14 hr days to prove to the management how valuable he is.

And the management pay him as such.

And nobody in the manglement ever thinks as they send just him out for training on new technology "What happens if this guy DOES get hit by a bus?"...........

Need a bus icon

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Unlucky, Palmer: Facebook's going to BAN Oculus pr0n apps

Boris the Cockroach
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Coat

And just like the real

thing, complete with viruses for those without protection....

Boris

<<<putting his inside a rubber overcoat

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Would EU exit 'stuff' the UK? Tech policy boss gets diplomatic

Boris the Cockroach
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Holmes

A lack

of skills is holding back.....

So wheres the solution to that.... a quick round of blaming tech companies for internal transfers..... or maybe looking at just how much it costs to train up us techie type people to the required standard, then realise that a lot of us as individuals cant afford that sort of outlay. £5000 for a Open university course anyone? thought not.

If the governments want a better skilled population, do you think it would be a good idea if they invested in a better skilled population?

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Why is that idiot Osbo continuing with austerity when we know it doesn't work?

Boris the Cockroach
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Spending money

does work.

But its has to be spent in the right way.

Blowing 10 billion quid into council budgets to fix potholes is liable to result in 1 billion being given to private sector contractors to do the cheapest job possible while the other 9 billion is spent on admin and multi-cultural lesbian single mother awareness campaigners* to make sure the contractors staff are aware of the issues.

Its better to use the money to invest in the economy, and given you cant very well tell where the best place is (unless you like forcing the unemployed to build autobhans), the money should be invested in education.

Need more doctors..... grants to medical students.

need more nurses . grants to nursing students.

need more engineers ... goes without saying really.

need more IT techs ... need more lobotomies..

(the last one is a joke btw)

The result would be the spending going into the economy as a general as no student I've known ever has any money.

"But spending would rise adding to the deficet" comes the wail from the right..

And 4 years down the line those same students are in jobs that have a 40% income tax rate attached to them.. plus we have well skilled people who can start their own businesses, and we dont have to import(actually steal) so many skilled people from abroad who are really needed in their home countries

thus reducing the housing pressure and house prices.

*substitute any council non-job here and we all know of them

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It's 2015 and Microsoft has figured out anything can break Windows

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Goody

windows 10 can cope with a xor'ed script/file

What about some mal ware thats been bit shifted right 2 times?

And will it still block the result from linking to SVCHost and running ?

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Future Range Rovers will report pot-holes directly to councils

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

when

the various councils can be arsed to make the repairs..

Eg a section of busy dual carridgeway near here was built using a concrete road surface, declared too noisey by the local people rich enough to afford better lawyers than the council , it was covered over in a layer of tarmac to quieten the noise.

Only trouble is.. the tarmac is seperating from the surface underneath and the holes are spreading fast....

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Unable to log on to online games? Blame cheap-rate DDoSers

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Re: What the botherders need.....

Nope I disagree... far too quick

Just stick them in a type 9 heavy frieghter, blow out the thrusters and the cockpit canopy and let the little ****s choke to death

BTW I play Elite

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FLYING SAUCER crashes into Pacific off Hawaii - NASA

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

My

Kerbal missions often look like that

A wibbley wobbley powered flight followed by something else going wrong, and a dose of lithobraking, although in this case, it look like hydrobraking

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The watts in a box that kept West London's lights on

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Idiot

Here in Portsmouth we lost about 50% of the cities power supply due to a major sub-station fire a few years ago.

We had the generators in place and everything back up'ish in 6 hrs.

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What's broken in this week's build of Windows 10? Installing it, for one

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: , including new icons and

Woohooo a job for me in IT at last.

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Online buying is sometimes not much better...

I was housebound for a bit (could only walk about 100yrds) so I thought, I'll browse Tesco's website for my weekly food, and maybe a couple of cheap goodies too.

Ahhhhh click on the link to the site, brightly lit page full of deals, bogoffs and savings, so I want to browse food first

Click the link.

"You have not got a Tesco's account set up, please setup up your tesco's account before browsing"

Hey ho , they just want my e.mail address, click the setup link and stare in disbelife at what they want.

Real name

Home address

E.mail address

Account name

Password

Repeat password

Delivery address

and.....

Credit card number.

Er no.... phone an old friend and give him my list because he'll goto asda and get it all for me

And for any store manager... try asking for that little lot to any customer wanting to come into your store and see how many actually come in.

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Bethesda all out for 'Fallout 4', fallout for global productivity foretold in countdown

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

Re: Fallout 4 setting confirmed

Corrected it for you

They may throw a curve ball and set it in the United Kingdom. That'd be spectacular, plus anyone who's watched THREADS will know the UK would be a complete shambles BEFORE a nuclear war.

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Microsoft: Here's what you'll cough up for Windows 10 next year

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

So that

will be £199, £149, £119, and £99 when its translated into english cash?

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It's FREE WINDOWS 10 time: 29 July is D-Day, yells Microsoft

Boris the Cockroach
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Meh

I'm

goning to give it 364 days after July 29th to 'upgrade' to win10

Make sure the bastards have'nt decided on a software as a service model and charge us £100/yr to access our data held on our computers in our properties....

Hmmm that business model reminds me of those cryptolocker malware people.... maybe thats where M$ got the idea from...

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Naked cyclists take a hard line on 'aroused' protest participant

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Oh great

You sound a typical impatient car driver who think only he should be on the road.

The sort of blind twat who has no wish to look beyond the sat nav/cell phone to the world outside and realise just how shit his driving is.

But then the really careful cyclist aware drivers are just as bad, giving the cyclist a wide berth and watching as they over take the cyclist so that they make sure they missed hitting the cyclist, all while running the biker off the road coming the other way before imbedding their car in the front of a bus.....

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The rare metals debate: Only trace elements of sanity found

Boris the Cockroach
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Boffin

The other thing to remember

is the price per ton/barrel/fridge of your resource

Getting oil from the north sea was daft at $15/barrel because you'd never cover the capital costs

At $50 though....

Its the same with all resources, Rio Tinto maybe sitting on a claim of 1 billion tonnes of silver ore, but its going to cost more than the current price of silver to extract any of that silver.

In 25 yrs time, there maybe a technology to cheaply extract the silver, or the price of silver risen to the point where it is economic to extract.

Until then, we'll have to put up with the "experts" running around saying we're running out of pork... silver and whatever else generates a 1/2 decent headline

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'I thought we were pals!' Belgium, Netherlands demand answers from Germany in spy bust-up

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

And theres me

over the past few years getting voted down every time I said that its only false outrage that Merkel et al were doing since their own thoughts were "thank f*** they have'nt outed OUR spying operation"

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Colour me bad: Kraken time or damp squid with Splatoon

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

But its

got hats!

And every gamer and their dog knows that the only thing thats kept TF2 going all these years is the hats

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Hi! You've reached TeslaCrypt ransomware customer support. How may we fleece you?

Boris the Cockroach
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How

about GCHQ/NSA doing their job and tracking down these bastards and giving their address to a suitable law enforcement agency.

Sounds a better use of their resources than listening to everyone's mail looking for the words 'nuclear' 'bomb' 'jihad' and 'tommorrow'

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So what would the economic effect of leaving the EU be?

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Blah blah free trade blah

blah blah immigration blah

What the real problem is with the EU for a lot of people is that

WE DONT VOTE FOR WHO IS IN CHARGE.

There I've said it now.

Its bad enough living in a FPTP country where 7 million lib/ukip voters result in 9 mps and 11 million tories result in 332, but we, the people of europe, never once have been asked "Do you want Junkers as president?", heck the commission is stuffed with either cronies or failed politicos (remember Neil pillock I mean kinnock.. rejected twice at the polls , gets a cushy bussels job)

Until the people of europe gets to vote on who actually runs the EU, then its a club I dont want the UK to be part of

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Traumatised Reg SPB team barely survives movie unwatchablathon

Boris the Cockroach
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WTF?

Re: Needs more Cloverfield

Ohh come on... I quite enjoyed cloverfield

Seeing which whiney annoying character was going to be squashed/bitten/dumped/explode next.

But I'm sure they got the camera guy good and drunk first because I've walked home for the pub steadier than that film.

But of the 3 films I've seen gigi and pearl habour... but never ever been brave enough(or drunk enough) to watch battlefield earth

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HORDES OF CLING-ONS menace UK.gov IT estate as special WinXP support ends

Boris the Cockroach
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The NHS

problem is much like mine in the industrial arena.

The machines were bought to go with high tech scanners/x-rays/other multi-million pound pieces of kit and the software written to run on XP.

Get rid of the XP machine and replace it with a win8 and all of a sudden 5 million pounds of kit is rendered useless.

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Why should I learn by ORAL tradition? Where's the DOCUMENTATION?

Boris the Cockroach
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Just be glad

theres anyone with any idea how the system works at all

Our collective nightmare here at Roach towers is the legacy of robot programs created in the mists of time by the aforemention long departed employees... that have absolutly no documentation with them.

No datum points, no special tools, no fixturing, in fact, we're not even sure we still have the machine it was created for.

Then the job surfaces again, taken on by a foolish management convinced we can do it cheaper than our rivals because its been done before, and it makes its way to the shop floor, whereupon its greeted with "f*** me, this job went obsolete years ago".

And an unlucky employee gets it after the more skilled (and more aware employees have taken the day off sick/ gone down the pub/hidden in the toilet crying), and after morning of head scratching and puzzling has given up on the legacy software and decided to write a new program

This takes time of course.

This alerts the management who become enraged.

Its at this point the rest of the employees disappear into various hidey holes as yet undiscovered by the management leaving the unlucky guy who doing the job all alone on the shop floor to face the rage of the management......

On the good side though is the sure knowledge that due to the cost of making the part this time, we'll never see it again, even if it does have a spiffy new program with documentation, all written by a recent ex-employee

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Oxford chaps solve problem in 1982 Sinclair Spectrum manual

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Started a computer revolution?!

Yes but remember the problem with the beeb .. for all its excellence it was bloody expensive compared to a spectrum.

my wages at the time were about 80-90quid a week, a 16 k speccy cost me 125 quid as I remember, a beeb model b cost 399 quid.

Guess which one won.

And guess which one won among us working class type families who had next to no spare cash.

crap though it was, we got the chance of computer goodness and the hope of a better job through sinclair's offerings.

which would'nt have been the case had the only thing available been a 400 quid beeb machine

wheres the more fail icon?

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Boris the Cockroach
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C64 manual

bloody awful

I need to make some spirits dance up and down when the spacebar is pressed and play a note at the same time.

252 pokes and peeks later

Excellent machine for its time, shame the basic was from 1964

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The Government Digital Service: The Happiest Place on Earth

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Admirable

Having worked/attended a civil service job in the past, I'm not really surprised by any of this.

But then there was always the number 1 rule of the civil service.. if someone was bad at his job, promote him out of the way.

Eg deputy engineering manager who did'nt know one end of a file from the other.. well lets make up a post of engineering liason officer (basically he gets the call from the sciencey groups, then passed the request on to the engineering shop) and promote him to that.

Science gets to talk to us engineers "can you build it?" and engineering talks to science "yes we can , will take 2 days* " without useless deputy going on about budgets and admin and flapping his arse in the way all the time.

Boris

* we used "wrath of Khan time" so that job took us 2 hrs giving us 1.75 days of tea drinking time :)

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Why recruiters are looking beyond IT's traditional talent pool

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Nothing will

change until IT companies hammer into the recruitment agencies that the job spec is guidelines and if a person is close enough, then they'll want to interview

Until then we're stuck with "software engineer needed: must have 2 yrs of Java and 2 yrs of C#" when C# has only been out 6 months

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NINETY PER CENT of Java black hats migrate to footling Flash

Boris the Cockroach
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Coat

I like the bit at the top of the page

Allow forums.theregister.co.uk to run "Adobe Flash"? Continue blocking/Allow

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Console makers game the EU Commission to avoid energy-use law

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Low power standby mode?

Whatever happened to the 'off' button?

Does'nt consume any power then

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SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir BUBBLING under Yellowstone Park

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

But

What about us cockroaches?

Will we be safe from the ash fallout? or do we have to stowaway on some human spaceship getting out of dodge?

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Windows 10 Device Guard: Microsoft's effort to keep malware off PCs

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

And whats the betting

windows 10 will still be pwned by a truetype font doing a buffer overrun to run untrusted code.

me ? cynical?? never

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Ex-Windows designer: Ballmer was dogmatic, Sinofsky's bonkers, and WinPho needs to change

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: So blameMicrsoft because it doesn't innovate...

Quote "The real problem with Metro is it is a very good Microsoft innovation. "

It is, if metro was the default style of windows interface from windows 1.0 onwards, then everyone would sing its praises.

But.......... and theres always a but, all the desktop users (including me) were used to something that had evolved(note use of the word evolved) from windows 3.11 onwards

In my workplace , we have 2 laptops, one is win7 , the other is win8.

On monday, someone installed a program on the win8 machine, it did'nt leave an icon on the desktop so I get called over.

I naively clicked on the bottom left corner, that brought up the metro tiles. so I thought, well right click on the button... brings up a menu at the top of which it says "programs and features" great... here we go... just drag a shortcut to the deskto.. oh it launched the add/remove programs thing that windows has.

By which time said employee has installed program on the win7 laptop, clicked on the icon and got talking to the robot thats being naughty.

The reason everyone (including the m$ fan at work) hates windows 8 is because they changed the interface so radically that no one could use the machines without having to be re-trained.

And all so m$ had a desktop that looked like the winphone layout... which was never going to get above niche product unless m$ had a apple/google beater of a software product to go on it.

which they did'nt.

Because senior management squashed it

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Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

I maybe a bit

paranoid, but does this mean m$ is angling to install windows 10 via update?

Because they've already said windows 10 will be free for the first year.. so I can see a lt of unhappy people if they update to win10 then say "pay us £20/yr to use your own computer" after 1 year

And folks like me even more upset because we have applications built to windows 7 and not even tested/approved to be used with windows 10(and win8 fr that matter)

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Instead of public sector non-jobbery, Martha, how about creating REAL entrepreneurs?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
IT Angle

The reason is fairly simple

and was covered by the beeb recently

To summerise.

What us brits have been good at doing is coming up with the brilliant idea.

The wine glass with the inbuilt cooling system to keep your wine at exactly the right temperature for example.

However , you now want to manufacture said wine glass, so you goto the bank for a loan and the bank says "far too risky, pissoff, we've got some AAAA rated sub-prime morgages to buy"

So you goto the next source of funding, the stock market.

Someone says "good idea, I'll risk 10 million on this venture in return for 49% of the shares"

5 months later said wine glass is now a world beater, sales are up 200% on last week, profits are coming in, another factory has been built , again by issuing shares on the stock market.

Original backer notices his shares are now worth 20 million... time to cash in, other share owners also decide its time to cash in.

Suddenly, the guy with the idea realises he does'nt own the company any more, the shareholders force a hostile takeover, chuck him out and re-locate the factories to the far east in order to increase profits, then a US mega corp already making wine glasses buys up all the shares and stores the profits in the Cayman islands.

Inventor looks at the results and says "wow that was a wild 8 month ride" and tries to start again.

And gets sued out of business by the US mega corp.

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Boffins: Large Hadron Collider NOW movin', we're getting down and crush groovin'

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
WTF?

A few costs

According to a quick wiki(and its no reliable guide), the LHC has cost about $10 billion

The US defence budget at the same time was about $660 billion.

Or put it another way... the US defence budget would buy you 30 LHCs with enough left over to build 10 ITER fusion research projects....... EVERY YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Midlife crisis, suck ingenuity? Microsoft turns 40; does the dad dance

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Vista wasn't that bad in retrospect.

Maybe thats the internal m$ plan all along...

And its taking them this long to remove/change any reference to vista to win10.......

But give m$ its due, windows (and DOS before it) has given a lot to the world .. mostly employment for techs as they try to figure out just whats screwing up the OS this time

7
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Virgin Media goes TITSUP, RUINS Tuesday evening

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Failure

of a single component in Brentford knocks out 1/2 their network?

Do VM management know about backups or think redundancy only something that happens to the low level techs who try to keep the network going?

Oh and please change the script at your 'help' center..... we all try turning it off and on again now... and inform the 'help' center that you're having network problems

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It's the FALKLANDS SYNDROME! Fukushima MELTDOWN to cause '10,000 Chernobyls' in South Atlantic

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Re: Our new masters

Get down on your knees and worship pathetic humans!

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Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Pehaps

we should replace the words 'Gay' 'Lesbian' and 'transgender' with the word 'Black' when reading this bill

Because then it would be rightly tossed in the garbage bin where it really belongs

Unless there really is a huge voter base thats racist, close minded, intolerant and bigoted, but love 'merica and freedom.....

16
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Euro THERMONUCLEAR REACTOR PROJECT is in TROUBLE

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

And despite all

this , in 25 yrs time when the scientists finally go "Huzzah, it works", no one will want one built near them because it has the word 'nuclear' on the side of the can.

And green peace et al will be against it because they like shivering in the dark when the wind stop blowing at night.

As a post script, the US congress bitched like hell at the cost of Hubble and its servicing missions. anyone remember the names of the nay sayers?

9
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Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

speed kills

thats the message the government throws at us all the time

except its bullshit

its bad driving that kills, because if speed kills , our motorways would be littered with the dead and dying, but they're the safest roads in the UK.

In any case , the guy I saw joining the motorway at 30 miles an hour would be the safest guy on the road, instead of rammed sideways by a truck and flying into the central armco

1
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Review: McAfee Endpoint Protection for SMB

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Fellow commentards - help needed pls...

Quote : " Make sure the firewall is on and configured and you'll stop 99.99% of modern malware. Don't click on stupid emails/links/pictures and you'll stop most of the rest."

Good advice for us techie types who pretend to know what we're doing.

Sadly , out in the real world of users, you'll always going to be shot by someone who clicks on the cat pictures.jpg.exe file sent to them by Aunty Doris...... then spend the next 3 days trying to repair the damage.

Boris

<<<currently wanting to rip out the wi-fi antenna from a new laptop after someone linked it to the network and did just that

2
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Guardian: 'Oil reserves will soon be worth NOTHING!' (A bit like their stock tips, really)

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

All this long

term stuff forgets one thing in the British economy.

Long term to british investors is 7 days

Channel 4 did a rather excellent documentry yesterday on how rampant short termism in the city is destroying british companies (and anyone else dumb enough to base themselves here)

Something that may happpen in 50 yrs time does not cross their minds as they will have already gotten their share of the cash and retired by then

5
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We need copyright reform so Belgians can watch cricket, says MEP

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Do not

worry

These proposals will be bogged down for years... while everyone tries to figure out what the buzzword bingo bullshit actually means.

And I imagine all the MEPs are really trying to do is stopping some US megacorps (and an smelly australian) from buying up all the media outlets.

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