Feeds

* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1050 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Page:

UK boffins: We'll have an EMBIGGENED QUANTUM COMPUTER working in 5 YEARS

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Terminator

At

4.40am on 25th Aug 2027 it became self aware and decided our fate in a microsecond....

2
0

Mighty Blighty broadbanders beg: Let us lay cable in BT's, er, ducts

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

VM?

OFCOM should tell them "fuck off, you own infrastructure, whats wrong with you lot extending it and /or installing more of it"

After all, you make enough money out of your current captive customers (or is that blown on the never ending junk mailshots?)

2
2

'Snoopers' Charter IS DEAD', Lib Dems claim as party waves through IP address-matching

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Just

tell ms May and the clueless nitwits that the terrorists are using a hidden internet to communicate their evil plans and that to access it, you need to connect at the IP address 127.0.0.1

6
1

I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
IT Angle

Sorry

but I must take issue with the unfair and, not to put to fine a point on it, unjust characterisation of BMW drivers as incompetant and useless drivers.

When a BMW appears in your mirrors , you know its going to be some self important lower middle manager or some down on his luck financial advisor, and you know that they will not indicate or use their mirrors.

This means that they can safely be predicted in their driving actions and thus either be avoided, or compensated for by your driving.

No , the real menaces on todays roads are the f***ing audi drivers who all drive like utter morons, just because they think they are being some cool by not buying a BMW

Nope when it comes to weaving across motorway lanes, driving way too close in the rain (about 6" away) , parking on the pavements forcing everyone to walk in the road, and generally behaving as utter c***s, its always a f***ing audi

39
3

Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Having

just had to deal with lawyers and wills and such, perhaps an easy solution to those "you cant access anything if you're dead" type companies is to include your account name and password (or where on your PC such things can be found) then instruct the executers of your will to empty said account of personal and valuable stuff, then tell said web company that the account is to be de-activated because the holder is dead.

PS dunno if the iTunes/apple thing holds up in court here because it would count as part of the estate.

2
0

Broadband sellers in the UK are UP TO no good, says Which?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Thumb Down

While they're at it

could they make the ISPs use the correct price for their BB deals such as

"10meg BB for £3.95/mth for 6 months*"

Then adding

" * line rental £17.99, installation cost £30, price after 6months £9.99, min contract length 36 months"

in very small print afterwards.

Where in fact its £20.94 for the first 6 months, then £27.98/mth for the next 30 months and should be advertised as such

3
0

I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Your comments confirm misogynist attitudes in IT

You will wear what you are told you can wear.

You will conform to the rules of the state

You will obey

you will not question

you will conform

you will obey

you will conform

you will conform

Boris

PS f*** you, I am not a number

5
3

Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

hmmmm

What does m$ charge for a copy of windows 8.1?

and if they giving it away , that a case of anti-competitive behaviour

1 beer in and it takes ages to spell those big worms ....

4
2

Blizzard shows off Overwatch – yet another guardians of Earth FPS

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Having been

blazing away at Team Fortress most of the evening.....

I cant see anything there that challenges it

All I see is another team based shooter that will come and go

And I bet it does'nt have hats either

0
0

Microsoft warns of super-sized Patch Tuesday next week

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

IE

still in windows?

They could save themselves a whole lot of time, effort and money by dumping it ....

Just a thought

6
4

3D PRINTED GUNS: THIS time it's for REAL! Oh, wait – no, still crap

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Here's how a rational attempt behaves

G-code files reduce the skill needed?

Excuse me while I fall off my perch laughing.

To setup a CNC machine to make your bits takes a bit more than a G-code file and 5 mins bolting a chunk of metal to a machine bed.

After all, installing windows is a matter of slapping the disc in the tray and pressing reboot.......

But if your aim is to make a gun that can be fired once, then yes , it takes no skill to machine the parts and hope the act of firing does'nt blow your hand off, leaving your potential victim able to point and go 'ha ha'

If your hope is to reuse said firearm after firing (and this includes still having a hand to hold it with), then you need some skill at machining stuff to be able to do it, whether or not you've got a G-code file

4
0

Call of Duty, GTA V DO NOT make YOUTH more VIOLENT

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

Given my

favourite game at the moment is Kerbal Space Program, I should be down at the cape blowing up rockets or sending robotic explorers to other worlds.....

Sadly I'm stuck on a damp south coast watching the fireworks

2
0

Trickle-down economics WORKS: SpaceShipTwo is a PRIME EXAMPLE

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Trickle down

does work

But only if the person recieving the tax cut/funds goes out and disposes of all of that money into the economy

Where it fails to work is when everyone who benefits from the tax cut , stuffs 1/2 the cash in an offshore bank account and hides the rest in the stock market, where it just drives up the value of shares

Which is what actually happens

6
2

Bona-fide SCIENCE: Which forms of unusual sex are, um, mainstream?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Psychology

Only if you derive pleasure from it

4
0

UN: Fossil fuels should be TERMINATED 86 years from now

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: I hate to sound like a broken record...

Quote

"Nukes "greenhouse-gas free"

Not quite. Concrete production emits a vast amount of CO2, and nukes have a lot of concrete. It's trivial in the long run, but I'm just getting started. Mining uranium is done with big equipment powered by diesel. The whole supply chain emits CO2. The plants will have vehicles wandering around, powered by petrol. There will be generators that will need testing every month. So not 100% carbon free. Maybe 95%? Kidding, your point is still valid."

Whereas solar panels and wind turbines spring into existence with a wave of the magic fairy wand?

Without the ability to deliver power 24/7

7
0

UK.gov set to burn half a BEELLLION POUNDS on one-dole-to-rule-em-all IT, claims PAC chair

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Show us the consequences ...

You're forgeting the primary reason for the projects to go tits is terminal incompetence in the senior civil service and among junior ministers charged with overseeing said project.

But the politicians dont really care if the project delivers or not because they managed to give a shed load of money to private companies... many of which will say thank you very much, heres your non-executive directorship as a reward.

While the dole/benefit claiments still have to wait 6 months to get any money while the 47 forms you have to fill out are manually checked and cross checked by staff thinking "If it did'nt take 6 months to process a claim, the dole would be better than this shit"

1
0

Microsoft to bake Skype into IE, without plugins

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

Bake it

into firefox and I might be tempted to use it

IE... that POS is used on first install to download another browser... and thats it

2
0

FTDI yanks chip-bricking driver from Windows Update, vows to fight on

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Should just

pop up a message to the user saying fake chips identified and this driver will not work with them, please contact your device vendor for an updated driver.

Kick the problem to the sloppy QA departments who dont check for the fake kit

Or more likely, the senior management when faced with paying $30 for geniune chip and $5 for a fake, go with the fake

19
2

Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: So

Idiot

The workers have to pay their taxes out of the income paid to them by the employer, its not paid by the employer, but the employee.

The employer just adds the wages to the expenses bit on his accounts sheet

But as has been pointed out, why dont inland revenue investigate how a company can make year on year losses on the UK operation and yet still remain solvent.... because the company I work for cant

8
2

'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Facepalm

Its more like

<celebrity> Look at me on twitter , are'nt I wonderful

<alledged troll> No you're not and your last film was the worst piece of shit I've ever had to watch and makes me wish you'd died in a car accident before filming started

<celebrity> whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nasty man said bad things.... someone in the govenment make them stop.

The other sort of troll saying things like they want to rape and kill someone are ALREADY COMMITING AN OFFENCE,,,, fucking well do them under the current laws, we do not need MORE laws

Damnit I asked the government to something ... guess I'll be in jail for trolling in a minute

23
0

A drone of one's own: Reg buyers' guide for UAV fanciers

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Oh, please...

Or visit beachy head on a wet november afternoon......

More seriously .. nice article

Boris

0
0

'Cops and public bodies BUNGLE snooping powers by spying on 3,000 law-abiding Brits'

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Devil

ha

Now the press knows what its like to have your phone calls tapped illegally.....

5
0

CONSUMERISM IS PAST ITS SELL-BY DATE: Die now, pay later

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Unhappy

never forget though

you are up against the light bulb principle too.

No manufacturer will ever make a light bulb that will last 50 years, even if they could, because they'd sell 1 once and that would be it.

Nope much better to make a product with a limited lifespan, say 5 years, and be able to sell the same thing again and again and again.

See Apple's phones for more.. also microsoft could do it by turning off the activation servers 2 years after each new OS is released(inflicted more like).. if they dared

2
2

OMG!! With nothing but MACHINE TOOLS, STEEL and PARTS you can make a GUN!!

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Oh dear gawd

Nope , no moose heads.... just a list of (un)popular politicians....

Inauguration : a way of announcing to the world that another target has taken its place on the shooting gallery..

Just kidding.. jeeez I dont really live in my basement surrounded by copies of guns and ammo

3
0
Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Oh dear gawd

Why not spend some money buying a decent sized 2nd CNC maching center?

$5K should get you something decent if not $10K

You can get the gun blueprints and make every part quite easily* and the only time you have to check with the boring old regulations is when machining aforesaid lower reciever.

Of course after once making a little popgun, you'll get the taste for making proper guns such as semi-auto 50 cal rifles, or a copy of the famous MG-42 machine gun**

Boris***

Since footnotes are the way of things today

*easily means being able to program the mill and have enough skill/knowledge to set the thign up and machine the parts correctly... about 5-7 years is ideal

** ammunition costs usually make MG-42 ownership very expensive.. especially after the first 1000 rounds

*** 30 yrs experience of wrestling CNCs and robots to do his evil bidding to make everything from nuclear reactor gas seals to various aerospace stuff and a long history of making high quality rifle parts

8
0

SpaceX breaks ground on first commercial spaceport in Texas

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

I suspect

its to get away from the US air force's eastern range control and tracking people.

Takes them 2 days just to re-position the tracking gear for the next launch.... which can be a bother when your allotted 2 day launch window gets borked by the weather and there's another rocket waiting.....

And Musk can launch when he wants in order to capture a couple of US and russian craft in orbit in order to provoke WW3

1
2

Microsoft splurges 2½ INSTAGRAMS buying Minecraft maker Mojang

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Thank gawd

they did'nt buy the guys behind Kerbal Space Program

And since they've splurged 2.5 billion, they dont have the money now anyway

Good luck minecraft... you're gonna need it......

2
0

Smart meters in UK homes will only save folks a lousy £26 a year

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Its all

about preparing for the various nuclear/coal fired power stations to go end of life.

Once you've go everyone installed with smart meters , its a doddle to turn off individual houses to reduce demand on the power generation infrastructure. especially during winter when it wont be able to cope.

Gonna be fun when you jump on your spiffy new HS2 train for a jaunt upto Birmingham and be told "Due to power restrictions this train will be limited to 40 mph"... or the more fun to be had at 2am when the power comes back on and everyones washing machines/dishwashers start up.....

But then you got to look at the government decisions and wonder what the f*** are these people on?

Smart meters cost 10 billion quid to deploy over 10 years, or buying 2 off the shelf french nuclear power stations for the same amount over 10 years and not having to need smart meters......

9
0

BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

you

wait until you get rid of the TV and dont pay the licence......

You thought mad John "break ya legs" Turner the loan shark was into harrassment when you did'nt pay him his 25 quid a week, hes got nothing on the licence enforcers..

4
1

Hawking: Higgs boson in a BIG particle punisher could DESTROY UNIVERSE

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Devil

Surely

we can build a particle accelerator that size..... all we need is 2 decent 'ish sized black holes, set them at a minimal safe distance and have them spining in opposite directions.... then at the right time fire couple of planets into them , and hey presto 2 beams of radiation heading towards each other at a fair fraction of the speed of light... BOOOM

Boris

whats this note on my file? "caution :this patient should not be allowed within 50Km of any particle accelerator"

1
0

Warrantless phone snooping HAPPENS ALL THE TIME in Blighty

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

Strangely

I'm on the side of the met and the government minister here (time to vomit)

Because the cops in question lied about the said events, or got sent to jail for lying about the said event.

And since they were into criminal conduct the met had every right to investigate who they were contacting.

If it was a bank robbery the met were investigating, you would'nt even blink for a second that the met had slurped data records on who called who after the robbery took place.

The article is more of a line that the press are upset because the scarers have been put on the police to stop them leaking so much paid information to the press.....

1
1

Blighty's mighty tech skills shortage drives best job growth in years

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Same old same old

stuff about 'lack of skilled people'

The lack is caused by

1. employers/agencies want a person to fill ALL the tick boxes, if you dont , no matter how skilled, you wont be considered eg a skilled machinist who has run CNC lathes for 5 years using Fanuc OT-B series controls not being considered for a job because the machines have Fanuc 21-T controls (functionally the same thing..but hey got different numbers)

and

2. the pay/duties sucks : How much is the kit worth you are using for your job vs how much you are getting paid, the kit I use is £130 000, some of the parts can go upto £1000 each, and your share at the end of the year (assuming you dont scrap too much and get fired) £25-28K

But finally and most important

3. Companies cutting out all the training programs for their staff..... dont whine about 'lack of skilled staff' if your company has done this to 'improve profits'.

But managers who make that sort of decision rarely have to live with the consequences, because they've already flounced off to a higher paid job for having a proven record in increasing profits.......

4
0

Shitty what? Almost half of MPs have never heard of Tech City

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Almost half

But they all know howto fill out expenses forms for swapping homes at the taxpayers expense without help....

All MPs really need to know is which way their paymasters/party bosses want them to vote on a subject and then go do it.

Which always begs the question.. why do we need so many of them?

0
0

If your kid blew $$$s on in-app tat, Google has a slice of $19m+ for you

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Hooray!

Sorry its more likel $7.5 million for the lawyers (30% or so) and $2.50 in google play money for everyone else.

0
0

You are here => Earth is in 'the suburbs' of an IMMENSE HEAVEN

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Its

not dark, our eyes just cant see the photons coming from every point in the sky

1
0

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Budgetary crazyness

We had beancounters from hell at one MoD place I attended

Then they got their rightful pasting thanks to a job in some tricky material... so we ordered 5 special tools to do the job, knowing we'd break 4 in the process of making the parts.

Beancounters saw the cost and cut the number down to 3...

Needless to say we got 60% through the order until we ran out of tools.

Was good fun watching senior naval and MOD types marching upstairs to the beancounters to explain the kit is worth several million quid and cant move until the poor engineering slobs(me) have made all the parts for it.....

11
0

Pay to play: The hidden cost of software defined everything

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

This

has been going on for years in the industrial control game

A certain popular Japnese company has some 16 8 bit number held in the permanent memory, each bit controls a different option such as 1 bit turns on the on screen clock and 3 bits defines how much memory you have (and you pay through the nose for those memory chips too)

The along comes a german company that sells a control that has all the options turned on by default and a nice 200 gig HDD too and everyone buys japanese to stay compatable with all the software written before .................

2
0

Ouch... right in the VIDEO GAME: Lizard Squad attacks XBox, Twitch

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Meh

Its more than

likely a couple of 15 yr olds annoyed at Sony and Microsoft for booting them off their networks for hacking after they bought a "sony or microsoft cant detect this hack" from some dodgy russian website.

Take 'em out and shoot them I say 9mm revolutionary justi... damn forgot the revolution has been postponed for economic reasons.

6
0

Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I for one welcome out new cockroach overlords

Its only a matter of time as I tell my 3*10^8 children at bedtime......

15
0

Déjà vu: Virgin Media jacks up broadband prices

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

The

only 2 gripes I have against VM ( or liberty global.. or NTL or NYNex or whoever else lays claim to the green trunking buried outside the house) is that the customer service dept is s*** until you finally get through to their english call center who generally have the flexibility to go off script and order an engineer for the next day.

And the dire junk mailing... for gawds sake VM CHECK to see if the houses you are mass mailing are already customers!!!!!!!!!! You pay an extra £1.50 for a VM monthly statement posted to you or £0.00 for an e.mailed version..... and I get at least 5 or 6 junk mails a month..... they gotta be hoovering up your sodding profits

Oh and the super(fail)hub only ever works properly if you put it in cable modem mode and use your own wireless router

5
0

Microsoft: Azure isn't ready for biz-critical apps … yet

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Re: I don't understand

Microsoft marketing would give you Bill G's grandmother if it involved you buying services from M$ .....

7
0

Germany 'accidentally' snooped on John Kerry and Hillary Clinton

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

Oh look

guess I was right after all when I said that everyone spies on everyone else...

3
0

Can't touch this! Microsoft joins OpenGL 3D graphics group

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Eek.

Worse still IE for Linux !!!

Boris

4
0

Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Terminator

Self service ... pah

wait until you get a real robot that can (and will) kill you if you give it half a chance, and not content with stuffing the unlucky operator into the machining bay, it will do it again and again and again because it will absolutely never stop ever even if you are already dead (and got a 2" dia cutter through the skull too).

And I bet the self serve UI designers all started out in industrial UI design where they were rightfully kicked out for coming up with some of the abominations I put up with .....

0
0

Bad back? Show some spine and stop popping paracetamol

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Unhappy

Tramadol or

Morphine are the only pain killers I've found that actually work

The only downsides are the addictive side effects......

0
0

Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Terminator

Time

to order those phased plasma rifles in the 40 watt range

After all... what could possibly go wrong?

0
0

You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Facepalm

I'm

just waiting until some muppet adds the steam data servers to list of IPs to be watched for illegal downloads

<said muppet> f*** me terabytes of data going from this one uploader... must be a major criminal, lets hit him hard with a snotty letter, that will stop him

1
0

Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Eccentric billionaire Musk gets his PRIVATE SPACEPORT

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Devil

All they

after with the current Falcon 9 launches is that the first stage can decend and land softly

If they can do that a few times over water where the kaboomy stuff does'nt really matter, then they'll go for landing the first stage on land.

Then they'll fine tune it so that it can land back in the volcano lair Mr Musk is undoubtedly building somewhere in the world away from prying eyes.......

5
0

BitTorrent not to blame for movie revenues, says economist

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Sticky floor

I was just wondering...

Any idea what was sticking your feet to the floor?

Because we're after a decent glue to make some lightweight carbon fibre stuff bond to some metal.

Wheres the vomit icon :)

2
0

Will GCHQ furtle this El Reg readers' poll? Team Snowden suggests: Yes

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

I upvoted

all of GCHQ's work because the mind control chip they implanted in my head told me to

Note to self : find a better quality of tinfoil than tesco's bargin brand

2
0

Page: