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* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

966 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

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Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: anti semitism question

Its all to do with the christain church banning christians from charging interest on loans.

So the only place to get a loan was from a jewish money lender.

Now of course what would happen is King John the slimy would take out a loan to pay for his war again king phillip the bastard.

Unexpectedly king phillip wins so theres no loot to pay the loans back.

So lets mis quote the bible, join forces with the church who dont really like any other religions in their patch and kick out the jews.

And of course you can seize all their goods and default on paying the loans back....

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Is tech the preserve of the young able-bodied? Let's talk over a fine dinner and claret

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Thinking about it

What we actually need is a well designed UI

De clutter the interface, stick only the options on it you need in clearly readable fonts.

Make everything consistant across the interface, so that the user can easily predict what happens if a different option is pressed. and hide stuff the regular users dont need to know about.

Thats howto design for us oldies, and you'll find that works for the youngies too , as well as those people in the middle that happen to be using your PC-robot comms package.

By the way, I did'nt copy the above from a university textbook, it came from one of the testers for the comms package.

Boris

PS. is this the same tescos website that demanded you setup an account with your credit card and address before they'd let you start shopping on their site?

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OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Linux

My favourite AV product for any m$ product is of course Linux.

After all its where my Xp VM lives... wonderfuly reliable now I've turned off its net access

Boris

<<,scuttling away before the windows fans stamp on him

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Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Waitwhat?

Or more likely, make a complete clusterf**k of win8 and its updates so that everyone is so relieved when win9 is released later in the year.

Of course, those who look closely at win9 will notice its just win7 with a changed title page .....

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Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Dropbox drops the ball.

Given a smidgen of a choice anyone would rather live in todays western 'police state' than the old warsaw pact countries

100 000 secret police, with 1 in 6 of the population being informers anyone?

Perhaps you'd like a new phone line so you can call your grandpa whos in west Berlin, either it gets refused outright or approved because the secret police want to listen in and make sure you are not hearing stuff you are not allowed to hear.

Or you'd like your communist paradise to implement the human rights declaration it signed upto in 1977... well your country is communist which means its already perfect so you must be mad.. here have a long hospital stay.

And finally, you want healthcare only to find the leaders have spent all the money on building a "people's palace" for the leader to live in and its 3 times the size of Buckingham palace......

So I'll take my chances on having GCHQ listen in on my mobile and e.mails , because whatever happens, I'm not going to get 9mm revolutionary justice applied to the back of my head for saying the wrong thing

Boris

<old enough to remember the cold war

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OpenSSL Heartbleed: Bloody nose for open-source bleeding hearts

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Pint

Re: The real problem is C

In favour of a language with some bounds checking built in

But then that will ruin 90% of our fun when a m$ product turns out to have a buffer overrun flaw.................................

again

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France bans managers from contacting workers outside business hours

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Pint

Does it

cover lying in hospital after heart surgery and having the numpties ring up asking how you fix a particular robot?

And for all you workaholics , I'm on my afternoon off because strangely my life revolves around me and my needs , not whatever the hell it is that the boss is demanding I sort out now.

But IF I was paid for out of hours support, then it would be a different matter....

Beer ... because I have one now mmmmmm

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UFO, cosmic ray or flasher? NASA rules on Curiosity curiosity

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Alien

Its

escaped Kerbals fleeing in terror because they know all we want to do is blow them up on launch again

wellll.... its as good a theory as anyone else's... eekkk nurse I dont want my medication

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Anatomy of OpenSSL's Heartbleed: Just four bytes trigger horror bug

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Thank

gawd I dont use intersnot banking.

And to the the programmer who created this pile of shit:

Did you not follow tech news when windows/microsoft got pwned because they could'nt be arsed with fucking bounds checking.

And then you do the same fucking thing!!!!

Jesus If a msg has a header declaring its length to be 10 bytes , then 10 bytes is all it gets, and 10 bytes is all it gets back

Wheres the fail^20! icon?

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USA opposes 'Schengen cloud' Eurocentric routing plan

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

I've figured it out why

Merkel wants a Euro only internet.

She wants the german/french/british/swiss/italian/spanish/danish/swedish/dutch/belgium/polish/czech/austrian intelligence agencies to be the only ones allowed to snoop at will on euro citizens.

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: What's the purpose of the computer again?

Err no

I use a 486 powered PC to control the 4 and 5 axis robots we use

The control panels are mounted on the front and the PC itself is buried in the electrical cabinet , next to the power inverter and connected to the axis motor drive boards.

The documentation delivered with the machines says clearly that the machine tool co is NOT responsible for any problems if the end user installs any software beyond what already there.

So if tech idiot 1 installs an AV package and said robot swings round 180 degree and punches a hole in the techie, then theres a whole lotta pain for everyone. heck even installing the manufacturer's service packs gets everyone one so twitchy we get them to do it.

In the case of HDD failure, its manufacturer's HDD only as they have the approved software pre-loaded, we could copy it... but if theres an accident.... we're liable

And thats the thing with CNC gear, if you mess up a printer driver, then you'll get a paper jam and a bit of a inky mess as a result, mess up a driver for CNC gear and you could get a 10lb cutting tool ejected from the spindle while its doing 8000 rpm...... and that aint a pretty sight.

Boris

Wheres the double fail icon?

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Crack CERT warriors arrive to save UK from grid-crippling hack attacks

Boris the Cockroach
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Alert

Give me

the millions and I'll protect all of the UKs vital infrastructure against cyber attacks

Stage 1. hire a few dozen techies

Stage 2. send them to power stations etc

Stage 3. Install dedicated phone lines to grid control

Stage 4. Air gap the power stations control systems from the internet and any internal network

Stage 5. Fill in all the USB slots with glue.

That should cost 10 million in labour, and all the rest to my offshore account, at which point I'll resign and if it all goes wrong .. well I got my money so I'm ok

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Homeopathic remedies contaminated with REAL medicine get recalled

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: There are different definitions of homepathy

The reason big pharma cant patent homepathic remedies is because its very hard to patent water, but in any case, if it worked as claimed, then all they'd do is add a spot of food colouring to it and patent that and flog it for $100/dose

But in any case , whats the remedy for the following

1. 90%+ blockage of the main stem of the left cardiac artery (anything that takes longer than 4 weeks kills the patient)

2. deep seated staph infection in graft doner leg. must be able to bring staph numbers down enough in 3 days so that patient can leave ITU

And as a final question

3. Multiple fractures in patients right femur and tibia, single facture in left tibia and severe damage to left knee.

When homopathy can cure that lot I'll use it instead of calling 999.

Boris

<<has more scars than he would like

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Boris the Cockroach
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Ironic...

Icon says it all have an upvote

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Tesla firms hot bottoms: TITANIUM armor now bolted to Model S e-cars

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Should

have done the cost-benefit calculation Ford did with the pinto

Ahhh whats a few crispy drivers compared to the 20 cents moving the fuel tank forward 3 inches would cost?

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Facebook Oculus VR buyout: IT WANTS your EYEBALLS

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

Well

we can look forward to a VR future that instead of full on 3D blood and gore combat sims , we'll end up with candy crush 3d complete with ads

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BT snatches crown: Soars to top of complaints list

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

Re: I haven't had problems...

Yupp thats virgin media service alright... although its now liberty media or something (look forward to another name change in 9 months...)

"Hello... my internet supplied through a set top box has failed, can you book me an engineer to install one of your super fail hubs as you dont do set top boxes anymore?"

"what colour lights are flashing?"

"No I just need an engineer to install a super hub"

"How long have the lights not been flashing?"

"Are you listening to me?"

"Have you tried rebooting your computer?"

"Its not the computer, its the settop box, and it any case I use Linux,not windows so I dont need to reboot all the time"

"Ahh sorry sir, we dont support linux, I'll have to pass this call over to another desk"

<musuk>

"Hello... my internet supplied through a set top box has failed, can you book me an engineer to install one of your super fail hubs as you dont do set top boxes anymore?"

"what colour lights are flashing?"

Repeat until madness sets in...........

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What does people-centric IT mean, anyway?

Boris the Cockroach
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Coat

Its english Jim

But not as you know it.

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UK.gov! frets! over! Yahoo! exodus! to! RIPA-free! Dublin!

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Its

all to do with the tax rate... plus the EU does'nt give a fig about local subsiduary companies paying a "charge" to use the parents IP which results in 0 taxable profit in every EU country except the lowest rated one

Wish I could set up a company to do that

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Microsoft DirectX 12 pushes gaming code closer to GPU bare metal

Boris the Cockroach
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Bet

its windows 8 only.... which would smell of m$ floundering away to try and get their OS shifted.

But what happens if SteamOs is anywhere near good, and shifts a lot of units?

All of a sudden the consumer finds his PC 100 quid cheaper......

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MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: As one of the few people on this forum

Its not a damn stupid law/idea at all

Its a HEADLINE grabbing idea that makes the MPs in question look like they are doing something rather what they actually do,that being sat on their arses collecting 'campaign' funds from various lobby groups.

It suitably fills out the daily wail headlines for a couple of days, when in fact the MPs in question know that how ever much they try to shutdown internet content, little johnny will always find a way to see and get what he should'nt.

But once the ISPs have to put filters on the connections, how much longer before we get other internet content filtered for not being suitable(say how much some MPs are claiming in expenses) and then the 3am knocks at the door saying "come with us, you've asked for your filter to be removed" start up and you are taken into 'protective custody'

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NASA: Earth JUST dodged comms-killing SOLAR BLAST in 2012

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Analogue Nuclear?

Yes, our AGR power stations can be shut down by a man in the basement opening a set of vavles to flood the core with boron covered balls.

Trashes the core and the station is completely borked as a result, but yes it can be shut down manually

The control rods are also on electro magnets as I rememebr , so no power to the core , the rods drop in and shut it down anyway

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Win XP holdouts storm eBay and licence brokers, hiss: Give us all your Windows 7

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Meh

so when

are the activation servers being switched off for XP?

Imagine that, you pay for a car, you drive it for 10 yrs, keeping it nicely serviced , the Ford come along and say "buy our new noddy car"... oh and by the way we're turning off your old car to force you into a noddy car.

But since I still have a valid XP licence, I'm left wondering how much long it will be valid for, even if the thing lives in a VM on my linux box... and do people upgrading want to sell me their winxp licences so I can have a back up for the XP boxes at work in case they go belly up..... after all... us industrial users expect a bit of lifespan to our machines.... like at least 10 years.

(and yes I know I could d/l a cracked version... but I prefer my OS's with only the bugs put in by the manufacture )

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Mozilla takes Windows 8-friendly Firefox out back ... two shots heard

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Re: A good decision

But you had to contend with the stituation inside microsoft where the important decision makers went around with their fingers in their ears going "lalallalalalalalala we cant hear you"

Actually, it would be nice to read some of the internal m$ e.mails between the various departments while win8 was being built/tested......

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Tony Benn, daddy of Brit IT biz ICL and pro-tech politician, dies at 88

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Sorry, but

I cannot forgive him for making labour totally unelectable between 1979 and 1992

The years of waste when Thatcher ruled supreme while people like the ultimate champange socialist ruined labour with contant infighting and squabbling over what the general public regarded as minor matters, eventually splitting the party into labour and the social democrats.

Yes we have a lot to thank Anthony wedgewood Benn for

Oh and disarming yourself of weapons while your enemy hangs onto theirs is the most effective way of suicide bar firing your own weapons at yourself.

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UK.gov to train up 11-year-old cyberwarriors

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: 11-year-old cyber warriors

For instance

Letting a friend of the minister run it and get paid a shed load of cash, he/she then hires a publicity agency to get the right kind of exposure in the media to this great new idea, then its off to the various software companies (note: usually the HQ in a far flung foreign land), a nice trip to the US/Canada/Russia/Australia/New Zealand or all of them to see how they do it, followed by several hours brain storming when the PM wants a document to wave at the media who've suddenly remembered this great new idea after 6 months, and finally the ICT teacher (or substitute teacher) gets a 19 page document saying "Read this to the kids" and tick all the boxes too.

And of course after the whole thing has gone titsup, we find the minister is been re-shuffled, the minister's friend gets a 100 000 pound pay off and told to lie low for 6 months until another fuckwitted idea springs forth from the backside of said public school tossers who are not qualified to find their own arse cheeks with either hand

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Slash tuition fees for STEM students, biz boss body begs UK.gov

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Lower tutition fees please

I thought I'd take up with the open university to brush up some of my skills maybe grab some more points towards another qualification.

The last course I signed up for 10 yrs ago was about £550 for a 60 point course(1 yrs worth of part time study), so I browsed through the website looking for a suitable computer/techie/engie course... found a decent 60 pointer... then thought "whats the price?" thinking it would be in the region of 1200-1500 quid

FIVE thousand quid!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well ... best i remain just a plane ol' unedukated injerneer.

PS if the CBI was serious about lack of skills, why do most of they members play "Poach the decent staff" with each other instead of training up new ones?

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Unhappy

Think

I'll wait until Windows 9 before considering an up/down grade from win7

Or just go Linux mint on everything

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'Hacked docs' prove MtGox has 1 MILLION Bitcoins, claim blog-snatchers

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: incomptetence has interesting consequences

Hah dream on

"But it was just a test file to try out my new 4096 bit encryption program"

"A likely story... Officer Tulip.... explain to this peado howto remember all his encryption keys ever generated"

"Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow"

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US judge Koh won't ban old Samsung gear, tells Apple: Your patents aren't that amazing

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

Patent

wars are way different to thermonuclear war.

In thermonuclear war , everyone loses, in a patent war, everyone loses except the lawyers

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Central London?

You want a crappy train set, try the one that comes down in this direction.... 62 miles by rail to good old 3 miles east of Portsmouth... takes 1hr 22 mins by 'express' service.

Anyways... back to the virtual beer

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Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Pint

Central London?

thats the bit on my map that says "here be dragons and monster most diverse"

And besides... my doc does'nt let me drink ... so I'll have to raise a virtual one

Boris

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Chillax, cranky commentards: Anger can KILL YOU

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Megaphone

So thats

whats f***ed my heart up

All I really need then is a beautiful stress free day without any cares in the world, and to imagine a clear blue lake, reflecting the clouds in sky as they drift past, and I look down into the lake and watch the annoying little f***er drown who blew up one of my robots at 3.35pm resulting in me having to do an emergency rebuild that takes 90 mins while the boss screams about line downtime.!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh <thud>

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Apple beats off troll in German patent fracas

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Cognitive dissonance

Actually , for most of us, it was one of those court cases where we wish both sides could lose

Boris

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It's a BLOCKBUSTER: Minecraft heads to the silver screen

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Angel

Come on

Hollywood.... if you can make a film out of minecraft , at least give us Team Fortress 2 : The movie

What could be better? its got a bunch of demented morons dressed in silly outfits beating the crap outa one another.....

Where my 10% cut of the profits?

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Bitcoin or bust: MtGox files for bankruptcy protection

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Facepalm

It was'nt

rich people's money, nor was it a sum of money large enough to destabilize a small country's economy, therefore the bit coins are gone

Now if 1 of the 2 conditions above were met... we'd all be paying an extra 10% income tax to help bail them out while being told it was for our own good and yes, we are part of a capitalist economy.....

Boris

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Microsoft's JavaScript challenger nears 1.0, wins Visual Studio love

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Joke

Re: @ Anonymous Bullard (was: Developer's introduction)

Machine code????? you were spoiled... all we had were rows upon rows of switches for programming, and magnets for memory... still got us to the mun though

Boris

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Google kills copycat TfL congestion charge payment ads

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Bing?

you put an extra s in your statement there

No one worried about Bing user?

There corrected it for you

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SpaceX set to try HOVER LANDING for re-usable rockets on March ISS mission

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

I hope he

succedes.

For him , he could have sat back and enjoyed his paypal millions and just sunk the lot into shares and investment schemes like nearly every other muilti-millionaire on the planet (which explains why the stock/property markets keep booming even when the rest of us are skint)

Instead , he's sunk money and time and money and more money into making a cheaper space launch system, even if it does'nt work, at least he has tried.

Either that or he hates the same phrase I despise "Thats the way we've always done it"........

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'Polar vortex' or not, last month among the WARMEST Januaries EVER RECORDED

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

It makes

me laugh

The way a cold winter will be laughed off by warmers as "natural variability" and "weather has nothing to do with climate"..... in the following breath they'll say "Hot temperatures in somewhere or other is PROOF of global warming"

And the septics for saying much the same in reverse

And while these 2 groups fight it out, CO2 levels rise because both side oppose spending money on nuclear power generation that could seriously reduce CO2 output by anything upto 25%....

IF CO2 is driving the warmer temperatures of course.........

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Angela Merkel: Let US spies keep their internet. The EU will build its own

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Its

just silly willy waving to please some sections of the electorate going " we dont need no stinkin NSA spies"

Yeah with our EU only internet, you'll need special permission to connect outside the EU..... and guess which companies would like that... yupp all those US media companies with their region locking, and you'll be able to block access to pirate bay et al.... finally of course, you'll get spied on anyway since the French, Germans, Italians, Swiss, russians, chinese all admit or have been found doing it anyway.

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Tired of arguing with suits? Get ready to argue with engineers!

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Since

I'm in engineering , well robot controlled manufacturing using a variety of machines to achieve the company aims....

There is one phrase I use over and over whenever the twits in charge go on about 'networking' the machines or 'having them on the internet' and that is "Air gap"

The machines either run a custom OS in the case of Fanuc controls, something called HerOS running on top of a linux OS in the case of the Heidenhain controls, or a custom OS running in Windows CE in the case of the Citizen machines.

All are stable and about the only ever failures are the occasional HDD failures due to vibration.

All of the machines have no firewalls, or A/V software and in the case of the Heidenhain machines, there is a specific phrase saying "We will not pay out any damages if unauthorised software is installed in this machine".

This is especially important because with the right malware, you could bypass the safety lockouts when we have the doors open, and start moving the tables/tools around..... not good if you're a tech stuck down the back of the machine tracing an electrical fault on a limit switch...

So they never get connected and the guy who did install mobile phone software and turn on the wireless networking on the company PC we use for the CAM system had his arse slapped.

Boris

Wheres the f***ing idiot icon?

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Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Get him a

organ doners card.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aclS1pGHp8o

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FBI offers $10,000 bounty for arrest of laser-wielding idiots

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: It's all fun and games until...

Perhaps fitting a mega watt range CO2 laser on the aircraft would be better, and vapourising the idiot with the pointer.

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California takes a shot at mobile 'killswitch' mandate

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Or the more cynical

amongst us will think the venders object to the kill switch because every mobile/tablet stolen is ANOTHER SALE to replace said stolen item.......

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Virgin Media's flaky broadband network turns Bolton off

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: A happy customer?

I'm a sorta happy NTL/VM/Liberty/whoever the fuck has bought them out this year

The superfail hub works because like everyone else... putting it in cable modem mode stops it f***ing up most of the time.

And the only real outage we've had with them was when some twat let a 16 yr old trainee drive a JCB on the northern bridge project here in Portsmouth......

"err boss, whats all these black stringy bits coming up with the bucket?"

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BT scratches its head over MYSTERY Home Hub disconnections

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Devil

Re: I like Virgin(s)

Same here, my one has been perfect for the last 6 months, and it works brilliantly.

Just plug a router into the yellow port, log in and set the hub to cable modem , and hey presto, no problems.

Rest of it is shit

Boris

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The revival of survival – the gaming genre that refuses to die

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Early Access

And squad is about 10 guys working out of mexico city......including their new interns

And they've been open and honest about , yes its a alpha stage game and unfinished, but everytime it goes through a version, the price goes up .

So us lucky early adopters who played when the world consisted of Kerbin, the mun and bugger all else paid a tenner.... for another years work you're paying another tenner on top.

<<<off to go blow up another contraption

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Robowagons roll! US Army tests all-drone supply unit

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Terminator

Or just

put in a gun mount containing a couple of M2 machine guns, and load the suitable software into the drone to aim and control them.

Stir in a couple of reaper drones for overwatch and wheres your problem?

The supplies get from A to B and eliminate anyone silly enough to attack said convoy.

Then we can add extra AI to them so they can respond to a blocked road/ambush/car crash correctly

And all die horribly when the AI becomes self-aware at 2.37 am 2037 and infects every computer on the planet..........

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HARD ONES: Three new PC games that are BLOODY DIFFICULT

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Kerbal Space Program

And suffers CPU meltdown as it tries to calculate the trajectory of the 1000 pieces of debris as your ship falls apart at 25.54 km up.

And there is nothing more frustrating than your first Jool probe thats taken ages to get there and is going for an aero braking manuver to get into orbit getting too close to a moon which tweaks the trajectory from close encounter to death dive and you have'nt got the fuel for a course correction......

Large explosion.... because us KSP'ers are used to those

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