* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1148 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Page:

'I thought we were pals!' Belgium, Netherlands demand answers from Germany in spy bust-up

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Big Brother

And theres me

over the past few years getting voted down every time I said that its only false outrage that Merkel et al were doing since their own thoughts were "thank f*** they have'nt outed OUR spying operation"

0
0

Colour me bad: Kraken time or damp squid with Splatoon

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

But its

got hats!

And every gamer and their dog knows that the only thing thats kept TF2 going all these years is the hats

3
0

Hi! You've reached TeslaCrypt ransomware customer support. How may we fleece you?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

How

about GCHQ/NSA doing their job and tracking down these bastards and giving their address to a suitable law enforcement agency.

Sounds a better use of their resources than listening to everyone's mail looking for the words 'nuclear' 'bomb' 'jihad' and 'tommorrow'

25
1

So what would the economic effect of leaving the EU be?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

Blah blah free trade blah

blah blah immigration blah

What the real problem is with the EU for a lot of people is that

WE DONT VOTE FOR WHO IS IN CHARGE.

There I've said it now.

Its bad enough living in a FPTP country where 7 million lib/ukip voters result in 9 mps and 11 million tories result in 332, but we, the people of europe, never once have been asked "Do you want Junkers as president?", heck the commission is stuffed with either cronies or failed politicos (remember Neil pillock I mean kinnock.. rejected twice at the polls , gets a cushy bussels job)

Until the people of europe gets to vote on who actually runs the EU, then its a club I dont want the UK to be part of

5
3

Traumatised Reg SPB team barely survives movie unwatchablathon

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Needs more Cloverfield

Ohh come on... I quite enjoyed cloverfield

Seeing which whiney annoying character was going to be squashed/bitten/dumped/explode next.

But I'm sure they got the camera guy good and drunk first because I've walked home for the pub steadier than that film.

But of the 3 films I've seen gigi and pearl habour... but never ever been brave enough(or drunk enough) to watch battlefield earth

1
0

HORDES OF CLING-ONS menace UK.gov IT estate as special WinXP support ends

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

The NHS

problem is much like mine in the industrial arena.

The machines were bought to go with high tech scanners/x-rays/other multi-million pound pieces of kit and the software written to run on XP.

Get rid of the XP machine and replace it with a win8 and all of a sudden 5 million pounds of kit is rendered useless.

10
0

Why should I learn by ORAL tradition? Where's the DOCUMENTATION?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Just be glad

theres anyone with any idea how the system works at all

Our collective nightmare here at Roach towers is the legacy of robot programs created in the mists of time by the aforemention long departed employees... that have absolutly no documentation with them.

No datum points, no special tools, no fixturing, in fact, we're not even sure we still have the machine it was created for.

Then the job surfaces again, taken on by a foolish management convinced we can do it cheaper than our rivals because its been done before, and it makes its way to the shop floor, whereupon its greeted with "f*** me, this job went obsolete years ago".

And an unlucky employee gets it after the more skilled (and more aware employees have taken the day off sick/ gone down the pub/hidden in the toilet crying), and after morning of head scratching and puzzling has given up on the legacy software and decided to write a new program

This takes time of course.

This alerts the management who become enraged.

Its at this point the rest of the employees disappear into various hidey holes as yet undiscovered by the management leaving the unlucky guy who doing the job all alone on the shop floor to face the rage of the management......

On the good side though is the sure knowledge that due to the cost of making the part this time, we'll never see it again, even if it does have a spiffy new program with documentation, all written by a recent ex-employee

12
0

Oxford chaps solve problem in 1982 Sinclair Spectrum manual

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Started a computer revolution?!

Yes but remember the problem with the beeb .. for all its excellence it was bloody expensive compared to a spectrum.

my wages at the time were about 80-90quid a week, a 16 k speccy cost me 125 quid as I remember, a beeb model b cost 399 quid.

Guess which one won.

And guess which one won among us working class type families who had next to no spare cash.

crap though it was, we got the chance of computer goodness and the hope of a better job through sinclair's offerings.

which would'nt have been the case had the only thing available been a 400 quid beeb machine

wheres the more fail icon?

3
0
Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

C64 manual

bloody awful

I need to make some spirits dance up and down when the spacebar is pressed and play a note at the same time.

252 pokes and peeks later

Excellent machine for its time, shame the basic was from 1964

1
1

The Government Digital Service: The Happiest Place on Earth

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Admirable

Having worked/attended a civil service job in the past, I'm not really surprised by any of this.

But then there was always the number 1 rule of the civil service.. if someone was bad at his job, promote him out of the way.

Eg deputy engineering manager who did'nt know one end of a file from the other.. well lets make up a post of engineering liason officer (basically he gets the call from the sciencey groups, then passed the request on to the engineering shop) and promote him to that.

Science gets to talk to us engineers "can you build it?" and engineering talks to science "yes we can , will take 2 days* " without useless deputy going on about budgets and admin and flapping his arse in the way all the time.

Boris

* we used "wrath of Khan time" so that job took us 2 hrs giving us 1.75 days of tea drinking time :)

2
0

Why recruiters are looking beyond IT's traditional talent pool

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Nothing will

change until IT companies hammer into the recruitment agencies that the job spec is guidelines and if a person is close enough, then they'll want to interview

Until then we're stuck with "software engineer needed: must have 2 yrs of Java and 2 yrs of C#" when C# has only been out 6 months

13
0

NINETY PER CENT of Java black hats migrate to footling Flash

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Coat

I like the bit at the top of the page

Allow forums.theregister.co.uk to run "Adobe Flash"? Continue blocking/Allow

1
0

Console makers game the EU Commission to avoid energy-use law

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Facepalm

Low power standby mode?

Whatever happened to the 'off' button?

Does'nt consume any power then

2
1

SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir BUBBLING under Yellowstone Park

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

But

What about us cockroaches?

Will we be safe from the ash fallout? or do we have to stowaway on some human spaceship getting out of dodge?

0
0

Windows 10 Device Guard: Microsoft's effort to keep malware off PCs

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

And whats the betting

windows 10 will still be pwned by a truetype font doing a buffer overrun to run untrusted code.

me ? cynical?? never

0
0

Ex-Windows designer: Ballmer was dogmatic, Sinofsky's bonkers, and WinPho needs to change

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: So blameMicrsoft because it doesn't innovate...

Quote "The real problem with Metro is it is a very good Microsoft innovation. "

It is, if metro was the default style of windows interface from windows 1.0 onwards, then everyone would sing its praises.

But.......... and theres always a but, all the desktop users (including me) were used to something that had evolved(note use of the word evolved) from windows 3.11 onwards

In my workplace , we have 2 laptops, one is win7 , the other is win8.

On monday, someone installed a program on the win8 machine, it did'nt leave an icon on the desktop so I get called over.

I naively clicked on the bottom left corner, that brought up the metro tiles. so I thought, well right click on the button... brings up a menu at the top of which it says "programs and features" great... here we go... just drag a shortcut to the deskto.. oh it launched the add/remove programs thing that windows has.

By which time said employee has installed program on the win7 laptop, clicked on the icon and got talking to the robot thats being naughty.

The reason everyone (including the m$ fan at work) hates windows 8 is because they changed the interface so radically that no one could use the machines without having to be re-trained.

And all so m$ had a desktop that looked like the winphone layout... which was never going to get above niche product unless m$ had a apple/google beater of a software product to go on it.

which they did'nt.

Because senior management squashed it

2
0

Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

I maybe a bit

paranoid, but does this mean m$ is angling to install windows 10 via update?

Because they've already said windows 10 will be free for the first year.. so I can see a lt of unhappy people if they update to win10 then say "pay us £20/yr to use your own computer" after 1 year

And folks like me even more upset because we have applications built to windows 7 and not even tested/approved to be used with windows 10(and win8 fr that matter)

17
7

Instead of public sector non-jobbery, Martha, how about creating REAL entrepreneurs?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
IT Angle

The reason is fairly simple

and was covered by the beeb recently

To summerise.

What us brits have been good at doing is coming up with the brilliant idea.

The wine glass with the inbuilt cooling system to keep your wine at exactly the right temperature for example.

However , you now want to manufacture said wine glass, so you goto the bank for a loan and the bank says "far too risky, pissoff, we've got some AAAA rated sub-prime morgages to buy"

So you goto the next source of funding, the stock market.

Someone says "good idea, I'll risk 10 million on this venture in return for 49% of the shares"

5 months later said wine glass is now a world beater, sales are up 200% on last week, profits are coming in, another factory has been built , again by issuing shares on the stock market.

Original backer notices his shares are now worth 20 million... time to cash in, other share owners also decide its time to cash in.

Suddenly, the guy with the idea realises he does'nt own the company any more, the shareholders force a hostile takeover, chuck him out and re-locate the factories to the far east in order to increase profits, then a US mega corp already making wine glasses buys up all the shares and stores the profits in the Cayman islands.

Inventor looks at the results and says "wow that was a wild 8 month ride" and tries to start again.

And gets sued out of business by the US mega corp.

20
2

Boffins: Large Hadron Collider NOW movin', we're getting down and crush groovin'

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
WTF?

A few costs

According to a quick wiki(and its no reliable guide), the LHC has cost about $10 billion

The US defence budget at the same time was about $660 billion.

Or put it another way... the US defence budget would buy you 30 LHCs with enough left over to build 10 ITER fusion research projects....... EVERY YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8
0

Midlife crisis, suck ingenuity? Microsoft turns 40; does the dad dance

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Vista wasn't that bad in retrospect.

Maybe thats the internal m$ plan all along...

And its taking them this long to remove/change any reference to vista to win10.......

But give m$ its due, windows (and DOS before it) has given a lot to the world .. mostly employment for techs as they try to figure out just whats screwing up the OS this time

7
1

Virgin Media goes TITSUP, RUINS Tuesday evening

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Failure

of a single component in Brentford knocks out 1/2 their network?

Do VM management know about backups or think redundancy only something that happens to the low level techs who try to keep the network going?

Oh and please change the script at your 'help' center..... we all try turning it off and on again now... and inform the 'help' center that you're having network problems

4
2

It's the FALKLANDS SYNDROME! Fukushima MELTDOWN to cause '10,000 Chernobyls' in South Atlantic

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Our new masters

Get down on your knees and worship pathetic humans!

10
0

Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

Pehaps

we should replace the words 'Gay' 'Lesbian' and 'transgender' with the word 'Black' when reading this bill

Because then it would be rightly tossed in the garbage bin where it really belongs

Unless there really is a huge voter base thats racist, close minded, intolerant and bigoted, but love 'merica and freedom.....

16
3

Euro THERMONUCLEAR REACTOR PROJECT is in TROUBLE

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

And despite all

this , in 25 yrs time when the scientists finally go "Huzzah, it works", no one will want one built near them because it has the word 'nuclear' on the side of the can.

And green peace et al will be against it because they like shivering in the dark when the wind stop blowing at night.

As a post script, the US congress bitched like hell at the cost of Hubble and its servicing missions. anyone remember the names of the nay sayers?

9
1

Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

speed kills

thats the message the government throws at us all the time

except its bullshit

its bad driving that kills, because if speed kills , our motorways would be littered with the dead and dying, but they're the safest roads in the UK.

In any case , the guy I saw joining the motorway at 30 miles an hour would be the safest guy on the road, instead of rammed sideways by a truck and flying into the central armco

1
0

Review: McAfee Endpoint Protection for SMB

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Re: Fellow commentards - help needed pls...

Quote : " Make sure the firewall is on and configured and you'll stop 99.99% of modern malware. Don't click on stupid emails/links/pictures and you'll stop most of the rest."

Good advice for us techie types who pretend to know what we're doing.

Sadly , out in the real world of users, you'll always going to be shot by someone who clicks on the cat pictures.jpg.exe file sent to them by Aunty Doris...... then spend the next 3 days trying to repair the damage.

Boris

<<<currently wanting to rip out the wi-fi antenna from a new laptop after someone linked it to the network and did just that

2
0

Guardian: 'Oil reserves will soon be worth NOTHING!' (A bit like their stock tips, really)

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

All this long

term stuff forgets one thing in the British economy.

Long term to british investors is 7 days

Channel 4 did a rather excellent documentry yesterday on how rampant short termism in the city is destroying british companies (and anyone else dumb enough to base themselves here)

Something that may happpen in 50 yrs time does not cross their minds as they will have already gotten their share of the cash and retired by then

5
2

We need copyright reform so Belgians can watch cricket, says MEP

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Do not

worry

These proposals will be bogged down for years... while everyone tries to figure out what the buzzword bingo bullshit actually means.

And I imagine all the MEPs are really trying to do is stopping some US megacorps (and an smelly australian) from buying up all the media outlets.

0
1

Honey, I shrunk the Windows footprint

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Do not worry

OEMs will soon fill up all the space m$ has managed to save with their pre-installed crapware and trial versions

Maybe m$ could re-write the memory management bit as well to stop it thrashing the HDD with the swap file... very important if your using an SSD

0
2

Attack of the Digital People: The BBC goes fully Bong

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

You are

Stephen Fry and I claim my £10

2
0
Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Trouble is

IT is'nt just coding or using an office app, no matter what some egos may think

IT is about being able to come up with a solution to today's problem in your tech area.

We have a robot that somehow loses position during the day resulting in a re-boot every so often, is it a coding problem? nope..but its still an IT problem because the mechanics are fine.so it must be IT

The thing is... a lot of kids are not suitable coders, if this project finds the 1 in 10 000 kids who are suited to it , then fine, but then it will put off the kids I need for robot fixing from ever doing IT ever again.

Perhaps a better method would be teaching the kids the STEM skills they really need, and allowing them to find their own way in life rather than having this coding stuff forced down their throats.

5
0

The voters hate Google. Heeeeyyyy... how about a 'Google Tax'?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

MP's Outside business interests

ARE the reason the tax code is full of holes that MPs will not shut down.

Because the employers of the MPs (as outside contractors/advisors/paid lackeys) will instantly stop funding any MP who comes up with the idea of reforming the tax code so that big companies(and little ones) can not massage their cash flows to make it appear to the inland revenue that they are making no profits.

0
2
Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Its easy to spot

Just get the financial report from the New york stock exchange listing and see where they are making a profit.

Then buy shares, and demand to know why Google UK has never ever made a profit, indeed why is Google inc. subsiding an operation in a country that it makes no money from.

4
1

Consumers beware! Ofcom's seen a scary new mobe nasty: APPS

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: The very fact

Where do you think the useless "b-ark' idiots find a job when they only talent was to be friends with the government minister at Eton/Westminister/Oxford/Cambridge......

Alledgedly

1
1

ALL comp-sci courses will have compulsory infosec lessons – UK.gov

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Boffin

Info sec

Should be easy to master for us comp.sci types

1. Bounds checking when allocating memory

and thats about it

for the advanced course, we can have "beating the users to death with a sign saying 'don't f***ing open e.mail attachments' "

1
0

Minecraft debuts new block – one that blocks Java crapware, that is

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Its what

any sensible Java developer does

Take a standard JRE, add /take off the extra bits you need/dont need.

Bundle the thing up with your software, and deliver to the customer so all they have to do is run the installer and away they go

Also avoids the browser thing and the crapware add ons( although quite why big companies stick in crapware that can only earn them pennies is beyond me)

3
0

Microsoft opens kimono on Windows 10 Universal App Platform

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Meh

HMMmm

Universal App Platform (UAP) is the next big thing from M$ to try and convince people to buy their crummy products

(cue usual Boris anti-m$ rant)

But as when windows 11 comes out it will be known as Joint App Platform, followed by another change to Joint App Version Authoring... or Java for short

And the way they sell the different layouts thing smells distinctly of Java swing too

Hope they've got good lawyers :)

0
2

Windows XP's market share grows AGAIN!

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

We just

got a windows 8.1 laptop to replace the ancient and nearly dead laptop we use around the factory

I've had to use it for 30 mins (in 2 shorter stints) trying to configure it to run the DNC comms package we use to talk to the machines

And after the 2nd stint I dearly wanted to rip out its hard drive and nuke it in the microwave to hopefully get rid of the abomination that is windows 8.

Even the jumps from XP to vista to win7 are'nt as bad, and to be perfectly honest, I'm experimenting with CentOS 6 on a laptop running Xp in a VM with access to the USB ports for the USB to serial converter we use as a better solution.

Plus the CAD/CAM package we use wont run on windows 8 and I cant face the propect of trying to find setting buried deeply in the OS that may or may not allow the programs to run.

Oh and if win10 is anything like win 8, we're going Linux throughout.

3
0

At night, scary wildlife comes out to play in the chemical factory

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
IT Angle

We have

gulls nesting on the roofs of the factory units where I pretend to work (and not lay under a machine with an iPad watching cat videos... thats just a nasty rumour)

And one thing we always tell the newbie employees when they start is

"For gawds sake, park at least 10 feet away from the building"

Why?

Well because the gulls walk upto the edge of the building and take off...... and shit at the same time, leaving a great big dollop of gull crap to descend to ground level.......

'tis funny though when the boss is welcoming some prospective customers in and the gulls take off because someone got a long pole and banged on the roof ......

6
0

Don't pay for the BBC? Then no Doctor Who for you, I'm afraid

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

Re: handing the future to Murdoch

This would'nt be a problem if politicians stood up to the likes of murdock and said "print media.. or TV media... one or the other but you cant own both".

And any compulsary tax al la 'the poll tax' levied on every household at £200 a year... stuff that.

I maybe a virgin media customer and pay them X number of pounds to access cable TV... but I dont want the sky or netflix subscription services so I dont pay for them.. I dont want BBC either but I'll HAVE to pay even if I dont have a TV.

As for the silly 'we all pay for the NHS or roads or military" arguement, we use those services in our day to day lives.. some parts we hope not to use, some parts we hope never to use, but I've never heard of anyone being forced to watch BBC in order to defend their country or deliver parcels or have life saving heart surgery.

Guess when the levy comes in I'll be posting to el-reg from in prison

4
1

Boffin: Use my bionic breakthrough for good, and not super cyborgs

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Once

they've perfected this technique.... theres no reason why the arm needs to remain attatched to the controller.

Imagine a robot in space (LEO) fitted with 2 bionic arms controled by a diabled guy sitting in mission control.

Or a remote handling situation else where on the planet

3
0

Samb-AAAHH! Scary remote execution vuln spotted in Windows-Linux interop code

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Joke

Re:But in a decent software company there would be peer reviews and QA testing.

So thats why microsoft and adobe products have so few patches and leaks

..

9
3

Didn't the Left once want the WORKERS to get all the dosh?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
IT Angle

Heres why

Marxism is bollocks... because it ignores human nature and our inbuilt desire to control as much and as many resources as possible.

Pure free market capitalism is bollocks for the same reason.

2
0

HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Unhappy

I think human

colonization of the cosmos should occur with 3 classes of ships... the A ships for all the leaders and scientists and great thinkers, the C ships for all the workers and the doers, and the B ships for everyone else

And we send the B ships off first.

Imagine that.. an earth free of politicians, cost expense accountants, advertising execs, religious fruitbats, and virgin media call centers......

Boris

Oh well its nice to dream

4
0

BOFH: The Great HellDesk geek leave seek

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

The

icon says it all

4
0

Ukraine suddenly 40% more interested in UK tax info – HMRC

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
IT Angle

Re: HMRC interested in 40% of my salary

Actually the best description of today's economic climate is 10 people around a plate of 100 cookies, someone takes 95 of them, then he says to the other 9 "look that poor guy at the end is trying to steal your cookie"

Well with more high worth people moving their cash to the UK, we can look forward to 2 things

Average wages going up (actually for 99% of us wages will be static) and

House prices continue to boom upwards as the money is hidde.. sorry invested in property.

Perhaps a new moral for today should be "I dont mind paying my fair share of taxes if everyone else is forced to pay the same % "

0
1

Google cuts Microsoft and pals some slack in zero-day vuln crusade – an extra 14 days tops

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Windows

If

Companies did'nt "copy and paste" whole sections of code from the previous OS and re-written the thing from the ground up(like the advertisers have us believe) then the exploits would only affect 1 OS and not every single one since the days of Win 3.1

Maybe thats why flash is such a exploit laden POS too.

6
0

SpaceX HOVER-SHIP landing scuppered by MASSIVE ocean waves

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Mushroom

I still

think the best name for the drone barge would be

"Well, it worked in Kerbal space program"

Mushroom cloud..... because us KSP'ers are known for those .....

0
0

Bitcoin trade biz MyCoin goes dark, investors fear $387 MEEELLION lost

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

So

you're investing your 100 million with us...

.

.

.

..

. ...... And its gone

0
0

Who's the auto tycoon that makes Apple employees swoon? It's ... MUSK!

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

But will they

find themselves coming to a sticky end at the volcano lair when they fail Mr Musk in some way?

Oh well... you've survived one evil supervillian, you'll survive another

1
0

Page:

Forums