* Posts by OzBob

328 posts • joined 6 Mar 2008

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Putting your schlong into the reel-to-reel tape machine is a bad idea

OzBob
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Either you photoshopped your current profile photo

or you were a real porker back then. Glad to see the Mrs started feeding you properly, but at least you confirmed you weren't on the "E" diet back then.

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Is your career lacking growth? Become a porn inspector! Hint: It sucks

OzBob
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Re: Ah, zee british sense of humour,....

you outsourced war to the french? have you learned nothing the past 1000 years? Should have got a SLA included there!

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OzBob
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Ah, zee british sense of humour,....

how did you vin 2 vorlds varrs vhile giggling like skool boys?

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Steve Jobs movie gets October release date

OzBob
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Jeez, wasn't Tom Cruise available?

And forget the Jobs, who has played the definitive "Woz"?

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Right Dabbsy my old son, you can cram this job right up your BLEEEARRGH

OzBob
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Thats a lot of coffee,...

when you hit 7 million shots, do you get to meet the chief barista of Starbucks and get your name put on a drink?

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So why the hell do we bail banks out?

OzBob
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While of course they needed to be bailed out

the way they sat on the proceeds from government rather than trading their way out was pretty cynical. personally I would have advanced them 3 months worth of float, and then released further monies monthly depending on how much extra they had loaned out. Instead I saw shopkeepers loading their credit cards up (at interest north of 20%) because they could not get credit elsewhere.

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What to do when the users are watching Nazi dwarf smut at work?

OzBob
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My mate ran the web proxy for the IT division of a large multinational

and noticed some dubious website links in the log history. He followed the path to a fetish website forum where one of the team leads was posting about his proclivities and even posting pictures of himself in the full gimp suit (minus the mask). Given that this guy was in his 50s and not exactly thin, this provided much hilarity to the IT department.

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SOD TABLETS, if you want to get anything done travelling get a ... yes, a LAPTOP

OzBob
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Plus one vote for the 90s tv appearance digitisation

just to see if you look like an advert for the "rave" culture back then (v-front shirt, number 0 haircut, manic arm movements and vocab).

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Singapore's prime minister releases source code for his hand-coded Sudoku-solver

OzBob
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The only thing worse than a superior who knows nothing about IT

is a superior who thinks he knows something about IT.

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How Groucho Marx lost his voice and found his funny bone

OzBob
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He gets a mention on "Super-mensch - the legend of Shep Gordon"

as being a fan of Alice Cooper. Apparently Freddy Mercury was also a friend and used to put him to bed at nights.

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Husband of Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg, dies suddenly

OzBob
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Re: Sad - especially for the children

True, if it can happen to Peter Gregory, then any Silicon Valley exec can be succeptible.

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Why OH WHY is economics so bleedin' awful, then?

OzBob
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Re: Election Candidate

@AC uninterested in Compass - So, you are saying social mobility is dead and higher educational institutions are closed shops to certain social classes?

My internal economist picks a shortage of tin foil ahead.

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Why should I learn by ORAL tradition? Where's the DOCUMENTATION?

OzBob
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The problems with training in new technology

is that it's an inter-company game of "chicken". Witness SAP in the 90s and the interminable training course structure. If one or two companies / government agencies paid for all their staff to get trained, they would invariably get "poached" by other companies / agencies and the benefit of that training would be lost. So the company / agency goes into the foetal position on training and no-one gets any more, ever again.

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Facebook serves up shaved, pierced, tattooed 'butterfly' as CAPTCHA

OzBob
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Mom, is that you?

This post is required, and must contain letters.

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

OzBob
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in the 90s in a government department

the ex-husband of a friend's sister was busted downloading extreme porn (kiddies, animals, father-rapers etc) in a government department. So not only was he fired from a great height (no generous pension, criminal record etc) but he had a very common name (there were 3 other people in the department with the same first and last name) so they had to publish his middle name in the media. When I mentioned it to his ex-wife, she laughed and wasn't surprised. Bullet dodged there by her methinks.

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Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

OzBob
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Yep, the list of people in IT not here to help is getting longer every day,...

Security, Customer Service Reps, anyone in Networks.

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Mega fatcat Kim Dotcom in deportation drama over SPEEDING ticket

OzBob
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Seriously? You think that "sticking your head above the parapet",

sticking two fingers up to the great and powerful, and they will shrug and go "oh well, we lost that one"?

Kim Dot Blob has taken on the big boys and is on his way to losing big time.

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Radio 4 and Dr K on programming languages: Full of Java Kool-Aid

OzBob
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Oh, "her"

the one that fronted that Beeb series that mangled the Free Software movement and DARPA / the internet into one big blob, with the same ideology. Amusing in some respects, I suppose.

Gimme LJ Rich on Click for tech tottie anyday.

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Because the server room is certainly no place for pets

OzBob
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The problem with legacy hardware

is generally that the software service it provides is either beyond the capacity of current programmers to reproduce, or too expensive to warrant the effort to reproduce. (My previous employer running a risk management tool written in Cobol, ported multiple times and ended up running on a huge HP-UX system).

There used to be a market for migration tools in the late 90s / early noughties for certain types of OS or Application, but they were riddled with problems and generally crap. Now, budgets have dried up and enthusiasm for the risk of change has dropped.

(I am currently right now at work, migrating an application from an older Linux box which is exposed to Heartbleed, to a newer Linux version that has a patch out. It took news headlines to get the customer to pull finger and pay the money to move. And there is a good chance the interfaces that break upon this move, the customer will have no idea how to fix)

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Don't be stiffed by spies, stand up to Uncle Sam with your proud d**k pics – says Snowden

OzBob
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Re: And the followup question should have been

Way to murder the metaphor. I wish I had such determination not to be educated, the world would seem much simpler and less scary.

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OzBob
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And the followup question should have been

"Someone sent your 13 year old dick pics, and they only did it once so we can't catch them doing it again"

And therefore is the dilemma of the 21st century - who decides who is bad enough to be monitored, and when do they become bad enough?

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How tech bosses manage their teams for fun and profit

OzBob
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Very interesting but would question the sampling mechanism

You have recruited probably very proactive and self-aware execs, what about the self-involved numpties who think they are perfect already?

My previous employer held coffee mornings once a month, where groups of technical personnel were invited along to talk to the CEO and CIO with no middle managers or HR present. They quickly found out how many of their middle managers were outright lying to them about how things were going.

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Speaking in Tech: Big Data and the ‘Everything In The Cloud’ obsession

OzBob
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Cutting brake cables to get ahead?

And redhead jokes? Where does Amy appear on the hot / crazy matrix?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU

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NZ used XKEYSCORE to spy on World Trade Org election emails

OzBob
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Re: I would be wary of anything published by Nicky Hager

"keep the absurd real estate market in Auckland rolling along"

Folks, that's NZ code for "doesn't stop the dirty asian foreigners from stealing our jobs and buying our houses". Kiwis are such bigoted idiots sometimes.

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Battle for control of Earth's unconnected souls moves to SPAAAACE

OzBob
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Did the NSA put it's own interception s/w in there?

I only ask 'cos the tin-foil is strong in this BBS.

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NASA wants you to help space mining corp strip mine the Solar System

OzBob
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Re: Bruce Willis on standby

Actually, more Dave Lister and Arnold Rimmer.

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Dream job: Sysadmin/F1 pit crew member with Red Bull racing

OzBob
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Sod moving back to Milton Keynes,...

the Red Bull HQ is next to Browns Wood, which is a dump. And they keep employing Aussie drivers.

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US bares its net neutrality enforcement regime to world+dog

OzBob
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Inhibits or slows delivery of content

which means my ISP in NZ can still restrict my torrent traffic in prime time as part of my contract, but those ISPs in the US of A cannot?

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One does not simply ask the inventor of the WWW what he thinks about memes

OzBob
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Re: Thank the gods they didn't do it like they do their dates!

Which is the most sensible way because it makes it sortable in a text file (bash programmer here)

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Canadian bloke refuses to hand over phone password, gets cuffed

OzBob
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Re: Hidden TrueCrypt volumes

Gordon bennett, the UKIP membership is strong in this one!

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Complicit Kiwis sniffed Pacific comms says Snowden

OzBob
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Re: You should read the mainstream news articles

PM me when you get better informed then.

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OzBob
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You should read the mainstream news articles

they are filled with ass-covering words like "possibly", "potentially", "might have".

The loonie left here are pointing at vague statements and screaming "conspiracy!". Big yawn all around.

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Speaking in Tech: Tinder Plus: 4 times pricier... if you're an OVER-28 wrinkly

OzBob
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Antipodean adventure?

Go to Bathurst 1000! Bogans, Big-Bangers and Eskys as far as the eye can see.

http://www.v8supercars.com.au/championship/2014-v8-supercars-championship/supercheap-auto-bathurst-1000

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It's a Mega blast: PayPal drops Dotcom's Mega

OzBob
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Re: Why don't they

Because KDC hid his Bitcoin assets with his Mrs, who promptly started shagging his gaming protege and filed for divorce.

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Acer enters Windows Phone fray with cheap Liquid M220 mobe

OzBob
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Re: I don't see an explanation about what MWC actually means.

Thanks. Sounds religous BTW.

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OzBob
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I don't see an explanation about what MWC actually means.

is the "M" for mobile?

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At night, scary wildlife comes out to play in the chemical factory

OzBob
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Saw a legendary sign down at Lands End Cafe

"We do not replace food stolen by seagulls". Must have had a few 'Merkins through recently threatening to sue.

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Assemblers were once people: My aunt did it for NASA

OzBob
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Damn!

Was enjoying the article until I saw the RIP at the end, which meant there was not going to be a follow up.

A pity with all these entrepreneurs collecting old kit, no-one is collecting the memories of those who used it (and how they made it work). Perhaps we need an archive of their experiences for future generations to refer back to?

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BOFH in mugnificent return to Cash'n'Carrion

OzBob
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Re: 10 Quid!

A true BOFH would have a key to the stores cabinet and an account on a local trading website to supplement his online shopping budget. You need to earn your stripes there, PFY.

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Boffin: Use my bionic breakthrough for good, and not super cyborgs

OzBob
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And not a single mention

of Kelvin Warwick (aka Captain Cyborg, and various other profanities too crude to list here).

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How good a techie are you? Objective about yourself and your skills?

OzBob
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Glad to hear you made it through your dark days

I would be interested in hearing from more Register IT professionals about mental health issues. It seems to happen a lot but gets talked about hardly ever.

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Seven months of Basil Brush on YouTube: Er, boom boom?

OzBob
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Classic Basil

Basil Brush: Hello Killer

Cilla Black: It's Cilla.

Basil: Oh, terribly Corry.

boom boom.

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For pity's sake, you FOOL! DON'T UPGRADE it will make it WORSE

OzBob
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Doesn't the mac

have voice recognition that could type it for you?

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Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

OzBob
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Is Russell Brand one of the other 4 UK entrants?

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please

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Worst … commute … EVER – Surrey to Sydney

OzBob
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Re: I don't want to be pedantic, but...

You are being literal rather than figurative, (or just plain thick)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literal_and_figurative_language

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OzBob
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Re: That would be telling...

Sounds like the Mrs said "sod this, I want my Burberry and Kappa, I;m taking the kids back with me". (You remember the "Wanted Down Under" BBC series? When they refuse to go, or come back within 1 year, dollar to a knob of dingos poo it's the whining wife).

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

OzBob
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Might as well have called it

a flux capacitor.

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The Interview? Kim Jong-Un, you really shouldn’t have bothered

OzBob
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Re: It's got Seth Rogen in it

when he's in a minor role (50/50, this is the end ) he isn't bad. When he's co-head-lining, that's when its crap.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie

OzBob
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Oversold it, major fail!

You had me going right up to the part when you tried to tell me a Red Dwarf fan was married (and to a girl!).

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Speaking in Tech: Uber and Google on the road to DRIVER-FREE cars

OzBob
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Forget the Superbowl

It's the World Cup of Cricket in New Zealand starting shortly. American Football is as incomprehensible to the rest of the world as Cricket is to Americans.

http://www.icc-cricket.com/cricket-world-cup

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