48 posts • joined Wednesday 5th March 2008 14:48 GMT
In other - completely unconnected - news...
Prince William is advertising for a new press officer
The Font of Champions
High speed broadband for the Olympics
Oh, how we laughed down in Dorset when we heard the plans to install high speed broadband for the Olympic Yachting in Weymouth & Portland.
Yes, we're going to be wired in with something faster than the bits of old string and old coat hangers we've got at the moment. But as soon as the circus leaves, they're rolling it all up and taking it back to That London.
Cheers for that, Sebby.
Trousers = slightly browned
This from my Twitter stream:
Coincidence? I THINK NOT
BofH: Final Destination
Right from the first paragraph I knew poor, dead Graham would end the tale as a red, sticky, still-twitching pile of dismembered body parts, barely identifiable as human amid the metallic carnage.
The joy was in the journey.
Sorry, I haven't put anybody off their lunch, have I?
Not just London
I live just a brisk boat ride across the harbour from the Weymouth & Portland sailing academy where the 2012 sailing events are to be held.
If a fat lummox like me can row a boat - what about highly-trained terrists? This can only lead to one thing: absolutely nothing.
This is clearly Tharg the Mighty winding up a Rigellian Hotshot, as ane fule kno.
It's all a bet...
... by the Freemason Illuminati elite to get a home secretary that is worse than the one before.
Take a look at the recent list of incumbants if you don't believe me:
Next in line for the job is a Hostess Trolley from the John Lewis list
It's always worthwhile...
...to sabotage meetings that turn into Buzzword Bingo hell.
I once got away with "Let's hammer these ideas into the ground and see if the nice dog pisses on them" with only minor injuries.
There was an ill-informed scare about CRT radiation in our office many years ago. The result of this was a handful of end users buying protective glasses (at twenty-five notes a shot) from a dodgy mail order company that made them look like they had insects' eyes.
Like this: http://tinyurl.com/twatspex
A stunning victory for the IT department.
And they'd never, ever misuse it
...Like, say, use anti-terrorism laws to seize the assets of a friendly nation.
I hereby volunteer...
... to take over the Flashman series before anybody else gets the chance to bugger it up.
Right, that's my jetpack sorted
Where's my monkey butler?
Echoing earlier posters...
...there are so many lorries on the M27 which have come up from the docks, you've got no problem hiding behind one as you go past the cameras. Unfortunately, as all three lanes are filled with either lorries or holidaymakers up from the New Forest, it is impossible to do any faster than 45 mph and prove Clarkson right or wrong.
As ane fule kno
...calling somebody "dumb" is abuse and does not constitute libel.
You might have thought somebody in the publishing business would have known that.
My finest hour...
... was not achieving --- E L I T E --- status (which I managed on no less than three occasions), but hacking Samantha Fox Strip Poker so I could get to the money shot without all that boring gambling business.
Those were the days, and far from being educational, the Beeb was entirely responsible for failing my A-levels in 1984. And again in 1985.
My Shatner's Bassoon needs its daily fix.