Agent CX ?? =)

CX is the name for internal mail at MI6. It refers to old mail stamped CX, which meant "Cummings Exclusive", as Mansfield Smith-Cumming was the founder of MI6.

As C&W's HQ is in Bracknell and Vodafone is in (and almost completely taken over) Newbury, I can see the Bracknell site being shut down apart from the Ops/Datacenter building. Anyone else will likely get moved to Newbury. Of course there's no room at the Newbury HQ so they will likely be laid off. Not an unknown event for C&W staff tbh.

Hopefully they will remove some of the incompetent idiots at C&W in the process.....including my former boss who was a bully, a tyrant, and despite claiming to hate cowboy techies, was the biggest cowboy I've ever met !!

Bit of an abuse of the "Unfair Terms and conditions in contracts" law, but well used. But the guy is still an idiot for leaving his account logged in.

Funny that literally a stones throw away from Yellow Pages UK HQ is an indoor airsoft site that gives a Zombie experience. In fact they have another one on this weekend :)

Google "First & Only Airsoft"

@Dave Edmondston

Hmm I wonder why.....maybe everything goes through London as...

1. Its the Capital of the UK

2. Its the Business Heart of the UK

3. Its where all the Major Businesses are based

4. The South Coast has the UK's Silicon Valley (London to Newbury to Guildford and everything in between.

5. Its the capital and heart of everything as its closest to Europe

Yes Manchester, Edinburgh, Newcastle, etc, are all big cities but frankly none of them are as vital to the economy as London. The same argument can be said of any nations capital.

Paris......as she loves mens cables, and deep dark holes ;)

Giggidy giggidy giggidy goo

lol what a fantastic opportunity to cram as many innuendo's in as possible lol

Loved the sticky fingers reference Sarah lol

Paris because she's knows all about sticky stuff ;)

@Sarah Bee/Cats

"If cats were bigger, they'd kill us all. You know I'm right."

Wrong dear. They wouldn't kill us. They'd enslave us, as cat's are far to intelligent to kill off an attentive and willing slave race :)

My son is 11 months old, and I won't let any dogs near him. I don't trust dogs at all. Our next door neighbours have four dogs and I won't let them too close to him. Further down the road there is a couple that own two enormous bear like rottweilers that are very boisterous and the owner has trouble battling with their strength when he takes them out. I steer clear of their place.

We have two cats and I won't leave him too close to one of our cats as he is grumpy and will lash out. We made that mistake once and our son was scratched on the hand as he reached out to touch the cat. After that event our son doesn't trust that cat either. Our other cat though is great, but she's female and had kittens and considers our son to be one of her kittens.

Government Interference again

I grew up near Portsmouth, I've dated an Admirals daughter, and numbered members of the Royal Navy and Royal Marines past and present amongst my friends and drinking companions, and this wishy washy Government interference digusts me. But they've been doing it for a long time now.

The Senior Service was the largest and most respected Navy in the world. Its also our frontline defence. So why is it for years we've struggled to fill ships with fuel and munitions, let alone get them out. Because the Government doesn't seem to think that our armed Forces are important. We have two new super carriers going to be built, with 50+ JSF's on each. Why don't we have more ?? Why are the number of Frigates and Destroyers we have shrinking in number ?? Because of the Government.

We need more ships, more aircraft, and more people in the Navy. These all create jobs, their support businesses create jobs. And most importantly we need them as we take on more and more UN and NATO work, We can't fulfill these global responsibilities with a wishy washy Government and Home Office that tells the Senior Service to go softly softly with Pirates.

OMG The sky is falling

Here we go again. If it gets quiet for a bit we have some more crackpot worrying from NASA about how we are all going to die. Or its the reporters who make it sound that way. As they said its the lowest since records began, which only goes back about 50 years. Im quite it has dipped lower and for longer and and higher as well on many occasions over its millions of years of life.

It can't be that everything is happening in our life time !!!

Alien face, as on reflection it might be all their fault.

Aah Pompey

The picture.......having long ago dated an RN Admiral's daughter I can attest to the fact that anyone in relation to the Royal Navy ALWAYS does it "Navy style on the Poop Deck". And there's always plenty of "seamen" ;)

To Aristoles.....clearly you have been there and now the place well. I grew up in Havant, (monumental shit hole that it is which makes me so glad I live in Surrey now.) and yes the "females" of the area are generally either stick thin anorexic chav twigs with the "Fareham facelift", or fat gobby fakkiiiiin caaaawwsss with the same hair do, and half a dozen kids by different fathers. There are a few, and I stress few exceptions. Mostly the minority of the population that aren't chav's.

Although saying that there are a number of the female chavs that if you scrapped off the cheap plastered on makeup, scrubbed off the cheap tarty perfume that they seem to bath in, unplastered their hair and got them out of the slapper clothes, they would actually pass as quite attractive young women. Sadly they won't. Perhaps someone would like to perform a massed "My Fair Lady" on Pompey ??

Won't someone think of the children - Aah the Paulsgrove Paedophile riots. A thoroughly entertaining event to everyone local when contacted by people from other area's of the country commenting in shock at the "cars on fire, people being dragged from their homes and beaten up by mistake" and being advised that Paulsgrove is always like that. (Ok so there were 2 cars on fire in comparison to the normal 1 car on fire.) The best part is when I learned that the women in charge of the protesters was arrested right after giving an interview to the BBC for child neglect. She's left her 2 year old at home alone and it had gotten out of the house and was found running in the middle of the street naked. (A thoroughly dangerous thing to do because of all the boy racers round there.) People I know at Portsmouth City Council advised me that this particular woman was not fit to lead such a protest as she had a rap sheet with Social Services for child neglect and child abuse as long as your arm, and had had her children taken away from her several times. Which of course by Paulsgrove standards makes her a model mother lol

I went back to Pompey over the weekend and ended up having to email a friend when I got home to check and see if Pompey really was as run down and crap looking as I saw it, or if I was comparing it to a rose tinted memory of Pompey after living in lovely clean Surrey for the last 8 years.

Paris as she's probably done it Navy style and loves Seamen ;)

OMG !!!

He's not dead.......he's clearly fallen asleep in the corner whilst learning against that wall :)

Pete W huh ???:

"The book covered Stringer’s midwifery appointments between January and July this year."

For those saying that people could plan burglaries they would mostly be going by old dates so they would help. And for future dates the potential burglar will know precisely when NOT to burgle the house as the Midwife will in the vast majority of cases make house calls. Can't burgle the place when Mother, Midwife, and possibly Father as well, are all in the house.

At most the information will be dates of appointments, names and addresses, and length, weight, and details of any problems or followup data on the child. Nothing out of the ordinary and certainly not going to provide some ne'er-do-wells with the capability to perform grand larceny.

@ Pete W.......huh WTF ??? Seriously, you are going to have to provide proof for a claim like that. And "so me bloke in the pub's brothers cousins girlfriends sister....." does not count as proof.

As for admission to UK Maternity Wards and Neo-Natal units. You will not be let in unless they recognise you AND you identify yourself and they confirm who you are. They WILL challenge ANYONE they don't know and refuse more than 2 visitors at a time.

My son was born 3 months premature and the Neo-Natal units saw me so often they didn't even need to ask who I was anymore. I pressed the buzzer to gain access, they saw me on the camera, and let me in. But then I did practically in the Neo-Natal units :)

By Paul Donnelly

"5. More people speak Chinese than any other language, including English."

Only as a first language. More people speak English overall as first or secondary languages. Of course you could argue the "more people speak Chinese" by demanding to know which version of Chinese. They are quite distinct......unlike AmeriKan Eeeenglish, or Indian Call Centre English. (Hello my name is Gupta...err I mean Bob)

Maybe Jim is Comical Ali as noted above. Hey Jim post us a pic and we'll compare you to Comical Ali ;)

http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com

Er amanfrommars........what gives ?? Lucid, almost 100% clear posts that make sense ?? Its a ruddy imposter !!!!

Penguin as I just finished reading the Global Warming thread and it reminded me of Penguins :)

@JIM THE BOSS

Hmm seems you are experiencing an ID10T error on your desktop. We'll just forward the entire contents of your email and personal documents to the Big Boss........purely so as you can continue to work whilst we "fix" your desktop. ;)

I-Spy Zuckerberg

Why oh why does Zuckerberg seem to think that everyone should know everything about what everyone else is doing ?? Perhaps he should have a live streaming camera crew follow him around all day for a year, (and follow him and record him doing EVERYTHING,) and see if he's so willing to sign everyone up to being constantly watched then !!!

Paris coz she's used to be filmed =)

@Pedantic Twat

"I see irony has also died a death....."

Nah, its alive and well and living at Baker Street Station apparently =)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

@pedantic twat

Really??....two mistakes from you in one post. Guess you are being more twat than pedant ;)

"It's the death of the American Language as we know it......"

1. There is NO American language. He was speaking English. Possibly American English which is a dialect of English. But there is still no American language

2. Main Entry: impactful

Part of Speech: adj

Definition: having a great impact or effect

Admittedly Impactful is from Websters Dictionary, an American dictionary, rather than the Oxford English Dictionary. But as the individual using the word "impactful" was an American its perfectly legitimate for him to use that particular word.

Sub7 fun

Like Anon, I've used Sub7 for fun. I actually set it up in a Net Cafe (all password protected mind you which is a feature to ensure that you and only you can gain access to the client side.) It was set up on all the Net Cafe's pc's to allow the management station to view what was anyone elses screen without having to get up. (They had a problem with kids coming in and downloading all manner of porn, viruses, etc.)

Worked great. Although I did manage to freak the Manager out by having the Matrix screen, (which I hadn't told him about at this point,) pop up and say "The Matrix has you Woody". He completely freaked. Mind you I later discovered he was a habitual heroine addict and had a rather loose grip on reality lol

No webcams mind you, we'll leave them to Paris as she loves to be on camera ;p

@Andy H "Blackhole"

Now now no besmirching the name of a fine film by associating it with rotten criminals or I'll have to send V.I.N.C.E.N.T. round to sort you out ;)

http://www.jeffbots.com/vincent.jpg

Paris, because she always looks like a brain dead robot in pictures.

@Joe Blogs

"You'd have to be daft to leave your curtains wide open while you romp around naked with the mrs..."

And if you do, please let us know so we can send Google round to photograph it.

Hoist....Foist...crivens can you get any a more charged argument ?? Hmm let me see.......

Microsoft is a really nice company, and their Windows Vista OS is great......debate ;)

Sounds like the Para's

Touchy lot the Para's but then they are likened to wild dogs by some in the forces. But they are trained and conditioned to be that way.

My personal favourite is a friend of mine who went for a job at the MGS, (Ministry of Defence Guard Service,) that guards the gates at the Aldershot Garrison. (Where the Para's used to be based.) This was not long after the Para's had moved to Colchester.

Interviewer: So how do you feel about working with animals.

Friend: Absolutely fine, looking forward to it, but I'd heard that the Para's had all moved out.

Interviewer: **Dumbstruck silence as brain filters the joke**

I should note that said friend is a former Commando, and they do have a rather "healthy" rivalry with the Para's ;)

Hamlet for Who and Trek fans

To engage, or not to engage: that is the order Number One:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The phasers and disrupter's of outrageous Romulans ?

Or to take arms against a sea of tribbles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; to try the Holodeck

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand stun settings

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to timetravel: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what daleks may come

When we have shuffled off this final series episode,

Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the multiple Time Lord regenerations and scorns of time,

The oppressor's wrong, the Doctor's contumely,

The pangs of Billie Pipers love, the law's delay,

The insolence of office and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare sonic screwdriver? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a fake wobbling set,

But that the dread of something after death, (Pantomine)

The undiscover'd country from whose bourn Shatner never recovered

No traveller returns from Shangri-La, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than warpspeed to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make Ferengi of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of Cardassian skin,

And NCC-1701 enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!

The fair Lawxanna! Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remember'd.

Nuff said really

I think his actions speak very clearly and very loudly want a piece of utter slime and scum that he was. Clearly he was an incredibly selfish individual.

Such a shame his wife and child had to suffer for his evil !!

Lack of interest

Whilst there is certainly a great deal of interest from Sysadmins themselves, I've noticed that that Lusers show their usual contempt for us and demand to know why they should show us any appreciation.

Even pointing out everything we do for the ungrateful wretches doesn't do it. Perhaps we should have it written in to law that on Sysadmin Day we get to electro-prod Lusers without any form of legal ramifications :D

Yeah right !!!

A now ex-friend of mine used that "I only did it to catch my housekeeper stealing from me" line when he was discovered to have installed hidden webcams in his bathroom and all the bedrooms which stored images on his computer.

He might have gotten away with it if it weren't for the fact that his lodger borrowed his pc one day because his had blown up and found directories of sorted, ordered, renamed, and organised images of 5 girls who had stayed in the house. One of those being the lodgers 15 year old sister. All caught in various states of undress in the bedroom and bathroom when staying as guests.

The slimy creepy runt had to pay £500 compensation to each girl, (he was lucky he had the cash spare or he'd have been spending time at Her Majesties Pleasure,) 200 hours of community service, and 5 years on the Sex Offenders Register. Everyone he knows is aware of this as one of the other girls was his ex-girlfriend and long time (no ex) friend of his. Another girl was a family friend. So he now has no friends whatsoever as everyone has disowned him. (Tbh we'd be looking for an excuse to disown him for years lol)

Paris.....as she's been caught unawares on camera herself

I may be rusty but.....

I used to be responsible for Cisco password security at a rather large multi-national many years ago and we had numerous cases of Network Engineers setting up routers and forgetting to update the password file. (Wonderful flat text file available to some 500+ users who could easily copy it to floppy......I know as my Manager and I did once. Left the building, went to lunch, and no one knew. Informed the 3rd line manager and he just grunted at us.)

As routers with lost passwords were at customer sites we had one of two options to recover them.

1. Use the Cisco Configuration Tool for dragging back the config, editing it, and then uploading it to the router again. (Cisco wouldn't allow us to have it, but we had the IBM versions which worked great.)

2. Send an engineer to site at a cost of £100 per router and get them to manually locally download the config to their laptop, reset the passwords, and upload the new config.

Surely they could have done the above ???

Even Paris could have done better.

SMMMEEEEGGGGG

"OK, not a very good joke and yes, a red dwarf is a classification of star, but come on, it's like NASA calling a shuttle 'Enterprise'.."

Ah but the name of Enterprise as a ships (or in this case shuttles) name is quite normal. The Royal Navy has had several ships called Enterprise over the centuries. Although I agree that I don't think NASA were thinking of that when they named her.

"To......boldy go.......where no......Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel....has gone before !!!" ;)

Pope Catholic ??

"..but how do we know that the Pope is a Catholic? ...or indeed human?"

To quote Bender......."Is the Space Pope Reptilian?"

Hmm new Pope resembles Palpatine, Vader seen at Icelandic Church, Jedi religion acknowledged.......yes clearly its all a setup to allow the creation of the Jedi, then wipe them out to teach all the other religions not to fuck with Catholicism !!!!

Order 666 - "We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless cry babies. If they are not all destroyed, it will be civil whining and complaining without end."

Trips to Asda

Yep I'll be there this weekend. Well I'll be outside of Farnborough to watch the airshow whilst the wife is inside Asda next door shopping hehe

Kids Today

Its comments like that "Vader doesn't exist" which explain why kids today are running amok. In my years of growing up we knew to rightly fear Lord Vader. He may have been wearing green and white and telling us how to cross the road but that "Green Cross Code Man" we knew was really the Dark Lord of the Sith in disguise waiting to catch us out.

If he was still pursuing that simple deception kids today wouldn't be stabbing one another and getting drunk. They'd be too ruddy scared of Darth Vader to do anything but huddle in their homes abiding the law or else....

**Force-choke** Gakkk urrrkkk Force-choked Vulture

Overly expensive tech

So they want to use a laser to track and target the head of a (relatively) small missile travelling at high speed towards an aircraft. Too much happening too fast, too easy for it to all go wrong.

Whats wrong with radar and chaff/flares ?? Works for military aircraft and Airforce One just fine. Its also infinitely cheaper and easier to fit and more effective.

Paris...coz she'd do Flares !!! (Wear them that is)

Evil Doctor pose

MWUHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Servers Sco right tbh !!!!

@Spoiled brats By Tom

Yes Tom thats what most people do, as its kind of frowned on to sit there in the office and ring up all your creditors to discuss your accounts for hours on end when they need sorting or paying. Your boss might get a little upset that he is paying you to do personal stuff on company time.

And trying to get through on your mobile at lunchtime is impossible as thats when everyone else is doing it as well. Not to mention you might want to actually eat some lunch or nip to the shops.

Most people ring in the evening and most companies can sort things out there and then. However granted that not all of them can as many companies provide telephone cover until late or 24/7 but the Management all bugger off at 5pm. (Actually 4 to 4:30pm in some companies I've worked.......that old nut shell of "err off to an offsite meeting" seeming to placate the sheep.)

Skull and Crossbones coz Im in a Pirate mood YARRRRR !!!!!

@ heystoopid

I presume your reference to Robotech is not a reference to Robot Technology, but the Robotech TV series, which was the americanised version of the Macross TV series, (and its follow on's.)

In Macross the Ghost Fighters, (AI Controlled fighters,) were excellent as a first line of defence and the Macross Plus OVA 4 parter covers the possibility of the new Ghost X9 replacing all living pilots and their fighters. But as Macross Plus shows, the AI controlled fighter was taken control of by another, more malevolent Artificial Intelligence with its own plans.

In the new Macross Frontier TV series there are the newest model of Ghost fighters which are sent against the Vajra, (the new enemy in that series,) and they are all neutralised by ECM and EMP.

Both of these instances show where living pilots will always have the edge over an AI controlled fighter. Although I certainly think that the Armed Forces of the future will like in Macross, make much more use of AI controlled attack fighters as they are a quick, cheap and disposable alternative to expensive to train human pilots.

lol

Aah that put a big smile on my face after making a major cock SLAM .....bugger SLAM

Err I mean major mistake yesterday that has had me not in the best of moods for the last 24 hours.

Paris because.......well I always feel like laughing when looking at her =D