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* Posts by Elmer Phud

3158 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

Mozilla to ship Firefox 4 on 22 March

Elmer Phud
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Works for me

Been running it for a week now.

No probs.

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Sexy eco-bulb wins Design of the Year

Elmer Phud
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Balloon modelling

Yup, Johnson is still around on Roundworld.

Just don't give the modelling balloons to Nanny Ogg - you know what she'll make with them.

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Elmer Phud
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FAIL

Whoring

and Boris has sold his soul to Barclays on order to paint the town blue.

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UK boffins to develop 'Solar Squaddie' electro-uniform

Elmer Phud
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FAIL

Don't scoff

It's for use in dense jungle or in the arctic during the winter.

We are Brits - our history of supplying troops with the right equipment is legendary (I used to work with an ex-soldier who was among the first in to Iraq)

It won't be waterproof as it's designed for sunny days.

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Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Storage

My dad had a bike with a dynamo lighting set where the power pack was a cylinder about 8 inches long.

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Fukushima reactor shell ruptured?

Elmer Phud
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Yup

It's what I've been told here many times -- it's all safe and I don't know a thing, slaggedd off now and then over my ignorance.

I do know that the Japanese government and thier nuclear experts have been downplaying it all along. I also can read the world's 'experts' comments and see that it's all full of 'maybe' and 'hopefully' and 'if' -- what I've seen all along has been no actual real assurance of safety, always 'it might work if we do this and that' and it's all been reactive measures not proactive.

I've also been told here it's no problem building the things on or near fault lines.

No, I'm not doing 'I told you so'. More like 'I've noticed the desparation in the reports and the uncertanty behind all the measures taken so far - why haven't other people?'.

And castles made of sand melt in to the sea, eventually (JMH)

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ISP proposes independent body to police copyright

Elmer Phud
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Headmaster

Torrents suck?

I guess it depends on where and when you get the torrents from.

Poorly seeded? -- often down the the greedy who do not share but delete the torrent file as soon as it's finished the main file.

Slow? -- depends on the time of day and where you are. I won't bother trying if it's in the evening (UK), I'll set it up then kick it off first thing in the morning. Sometimes 100meg arrives whileI'm making a cuppa.

Unwanted extras? -- set the client to fire off your A/V scan as soon as the download finishes. Never had a 'password protected zip file' but then I tend to check comments before downloading. Keygens are usually marked as 'Trojans' so you need to check what the A/V is reporting.

Uberfast server? -- I guess a hundred seeds isn't fast enough at times - ah, well.

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Elmer Phud
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Good for the market?

Just get another car?

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London's Olympic clock claps out

Elmer Phud
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How could you . . .

you are dissing Boris's Barclays Olympics.

They are doing thier best to price out the riff-raff from attending. No corporate ticket? sod off working-class scum.

Have you no compassion for the one who claims it all to be his idea and then paints it all blue?

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Elmer Phud
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Is that . .

. . the bloke on YouTube who lights his farts?

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Disney torpedoes Yellow Submarine

Elmer Phud
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Happy

We welcome

the start of the just another boy-band that couldn't go live once the producer added the studio as another band member argument.

(George Martin cut his teeth in the BBC Radiophonics workshop which is why the 'drum track' is often things like packing cases and drum cases and odd effects that end up sounding nothing like a kit )

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Elmer Phud
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Thumb Down

3D?

3D would screw up the impact of the animation.

It's made flat and looks good flat - adding lumpy bits for th sake of it is just poor profiteering.

Yes, it might be nice to have the Glove coming out of the screen and the dogs slavering everywhere but --- no.

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Facebook preps Groupon-like service

Elmer Phud
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Local?

""You dine out, you go to concerts, you do outdoor activities. We want to make sure those experiences are maximised.""

Yeah well, apart from not having any local info on my FaceAche profile various sites look at my IP address and tell me I'm in some very odd places.

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Russian republic in sex bomb alert

Elmer Phud
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I've got a rocket in my pocket and baby it's ready to blow

"a similar incident at a post office in Hasland, Chesterfield, ended with a vibrator made safe in a controlled explosion"

Aren't they supposed to cause an almost uncontrolled explosion?

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Elmer Phud
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First class - every time

as per title

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BT Openreach's founding father quits job

Elmer Phud
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IT Angle

tape

"but the red tape laden backoffice staff that royally screw things up for everyone"

It's the so-called expert systems that are used to process orders.

One of the common ways to do this was for ISP's to be sent a job asking for further details and they would just send the job back again with no further information - simple stuff like customer availablity or alternative customer contact. The other great one was for ISP's to mark the job needing the attendance of a BT engineer when they were not required. All this is done within the remit of the order but is actually a way of just tagging the job as having been handled and ensuring that then ticking clock on the job belonged to someone else.

The back office staff tend to not have time to actually deal with anything as thier managers are hassled as part of a numbers game. Occasionally employees take matters in to their own hands and try to get things moving but if it means having a job on your screen for more than 10 minutes they'll get hassled. Calling an ISP's customer is a no-no for Openreach, the regulations do not allow it, meanwhile the job gets passed around the system and the 'expert systems' once again say it needs another engineers visit or another test. Then it goes back in the pot for someone else who's never seen the job to pick it up and rely on the 'expert systems' to think for them (as they are not allowed to think for themselves).

(I took the money and ran like fuck a few years back)

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Avon and Somerset police launch online crime tracker

Elmer Phud
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Coat

phone?

No more phoning, "Just enter your details in the box provided. your crime report number will be emailed to you (requires registration)".

Someone else has got my coat

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Microsoft releases IE9 for chip happy Windows world

Elmer Phud
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Badgers

NO!

Why would one risk soiling one's hands by picking up a (shudder) screwdriver. The lower orders will have touched it and they do not wear gloves.

Anyway, one has people to do such things as mechanical tasks.

Badger? no, it's the Mehmsahib

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Elmer Phud
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FAIL

Desktop

Or like the Windows Desktop becomes a browser with one simple click?

Well, there's a novelty, not heard that before.

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Microsoft says 'sorry' after Japan quake marketing gaffe

Elmer Phud
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Shirley

isn't it 84.6%?

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Elmer Phud
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Where's Saint Bono?

As per title

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Threat to third Fukushima nuke reactor

Elmer Phud
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We have the technology?

Now that they have killed off the reactors by flooding with seawater, where will they build the replacements?

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Elmer Phud
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Eh?

I'm not referring to the small number of people affected so far, we usually get, 'OOH, it's not so bad, no-one's died yet so it must be safe.' It's the pro's who rely on a low casualty count.

I'm not saying 'told you so' - that's your stupid game and I'm not playing.

I was referring to the apparent lack of leaks at the place with such an awful reputation they change the name twice to try and disguise how bad things have got. A place that had a 'D' notice on it.

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Elmer Phud
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*undetected*

Indeedy -- more like 'unannounced' until those pesky protesters began sampling the waters.

I do love the pro-nuke lobby here becoming more and more hesitant in thier 'It won't happen, it can't happen' as it turns in to 'I hope it doesn't happen' and a creeping 'Oh, shit'.

So, here we are, waiting for Yellowstone Park to go skywards or a lump of the Canary Islands to slip gracefully in to the sea or one mother of a sun spot . . .

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Politically motivated exploits target activists on Google

Elmer Phud
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Big Brother

Time we had a decent conspiracy theory . . .

. . .it's the USA and China working together.

Neither seem to be really keen on democracy.

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Emergency declared at second quake-wracked Japanese nuke plant

Elmer Phud
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Official message

"safety can be assured"

Ah, I doubt if I'm the only one who reads that as 'We're fucked'.

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Japanese nuke meltdown may be underway

Elmer Phud
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yesterday

Yesterday we were being informed that anyone here thinking it would all end in tears were barking mad as it was perfectly safe and normal. So many comments on how wonderful the tech is and how nuclear is so safe and cosy and will save the human race by providing endless power.

Now, it seems, the container holding back the shit may be ready to release it towards the fan.

Are we still as smug now daylight has broken?

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Dim Brits think TARDIS IS REAL

Elmer Phud
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And?

We are British and as such too THICK! DIM! and Completely STUPID to listen to you.

Others are too busy telling us how shite we are to be able to hear us go STFU

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Elmer Phud
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Megaphone

Oi!

That's Mr50% to you -- any more and I'll give my mate Gadaffi a bell and he'll pop-off some British-made ordnance.

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Elmer Phud
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Headmaster

Ahem . . .

'corners of the world'?

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Elmer Phud
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Almost

It is usually only a temporary temporal adjustment.

There is a payback which goes something like , "Oh, shit! I didn't, did I?"

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Police expert caught with abuse images

Elmer Phud
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Nail - head

Innit odd that men are supposed to be stronger than women, somehow 'better', more 'able', etc. etc.

Yet it's the women who have to cover up or the men cannot control themselves.

Men are either being two-faced or just total control bastards.

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Elmer Phud
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Where's Chris Morris when you need him?

as per title.

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The public cloud ... why bother?

Elmer Phud
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Cloud = cuts?

Is it also just a way of 'making savings' as the beancounters don't have a bloody clue about in-house data services?

Don't understand it? - chop it out. In these days of tight . . .blah, blah blah (and get a healthy bonus for the saving).

On the other hand, as you suggest, 'all your data belong to us'.

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DDoS malware comes with self-destruct payload

Elmer Phud
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IT Angle

Eh?

Am I being a bit dumb here, why would anyone want to screw up the machines that are part of a bot-net if it's the bot-net that brings in the revenue?

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Whitehall to puff punters: 'Hide your fags'

Elmer Phud
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And curse Sir Walter Raliegh

he was such a stupid git.

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Elmer Phud
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Easier for the con-men?

Is this just a way for the crooks to make more money?

No need to have fake packets printed and made up, no need for bogus baccy bags to stuff with 'Olden Virginia' or 'Sumpson'.

Even more reason to go the the corner shop and find out what else they keep under the counter.

Handy if it turns out to be a one-stop shop where I can get ciggies, Rizla and a 20 bag.

Oh, hang on, does this mean no cigs on display but a shelf full of colourful packs of papers?

No incentive to buy fags but plenty of incentives to skin up? Unlike Al Murray, I am confused.

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Man jailed after cops uncover 'crack in bum'

Elmer Phud
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Thumb Up

Agree

What you say certainly has a ring of truth to it. The police come in for a lot of criticism but this time they seem to be making a good fist of it.

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Bury council considers mass outsourcing

Elmer Phud
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Easy council

It's what they have done in Barnet for some time.

Total and utter failure.

Constant turnover of external comanies, upheaval for residents and (what's left of) council employees,new contracts to be sorted - it's a complete dog's dinner under the guise of 'efficiency'.

Also, projected savings are slashed from budgets well before any actual savings(if any) are realised, this leads to shortages all round except for the council leaders and thier cronies.

It doesn't affect the councillors - they really don't give a shit.

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Bad Belgian busted by kinky iTunes openness

Elmer Phud
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Hacking?

If you are dumb enough to share everything with all and sundry then there was no hacking involved.

If you are also so dumb to leave loads of kiddiepix in a shared space when not sharing with your fellow pervs and then open the shared space up to anyone else around you deserve to go to jail.

If you are so dumb to leave iTunes to manage your file you need to be shot.

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Anonymous probed for hack threat against WikiLeaker captors

Elmer Phud
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Or

Or until they 'mess up' his suicide watch and he tops himself. Not that the conditions and treatment he's getting would be, in any way, contributory to the act (M'Lud).

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Security agency calls time on botnet FUD

Elmer Phud
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Pirate

Tempting

"In particular, ENISA backs schemes involving the notification of infected customers by their ISPs"

'click on the link for more information' ?

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Betfair backs Gibraltar

Elmer Phud
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Gibookies

Betfair are one amongst many bookies firms that have a presence in Gibraltar.

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Captain Kirk hails space shuttle Discovery

Elmer Phud
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Vogons

The crew have had a narrow escape - he could have 'read' something to them.

Old Bill is, of course, a Vogon in disguise. There is no other possible explanation for the 'poetry' that can cause others to rip off thier own ears.

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YouTube punts filth to shocked Reg readers

Elmer Phud
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Pint

My sympathies

I do hope that your son has learned his lesson from this - we have been far too lenient with our children and I am pleased to see someone satanding up for common sense and all that is decent.

As have just seen the picture I shall now be getting the scourge out of the cupboard and will be punishing myself until the carpet is soggy with blood.

I may also have to put out the eyes of my cat as it has also mistakenly seen the picture.

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Mozilla challenges Apple, Google with 'open' app store

Elmer Phud
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Is Moz the same as Google?

I was under the impression that they were different companies until I started looking at the comments here.

Is it AppleFanboi day today?

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Elmer Phud
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yes

yes, again

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Man sentenced for breaching former employer's computers

Elmer Phud
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sacked for incompetance?

"During the breach, which happened a few weeks after Alvarez was fired, he created a directory titled “RENEGAGE RULES.” Renegade is the name of a Gray Wireline competitor."

If he was supposed to know anything about computers why the hell did he just leave evidence everywhere?

We need a computing version of the Darwin Awards.

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Ex-UK spy boss says WikiLeaks sparked Egyptian revolution

Elmer Phud
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Headless chickens

They are crapping themselves about oil - not democracy.

The biggest fuss is over what Gadaffi Duck is going to do. The oil is not seen as belonging to the country or the people it's seen as belonging mainly to the US (check out global oil use per head of population) with David Cameron limply bleating away totally out of his depth when up against a well-practiced nutter.

The other thing that the CIA doesn't like is how so many of thier 'arab friends' have been shown to have built thier supposed billions on property and now it's all totally fucked. The workers/slaves are leaving various towns, the game is up, geese have been cooked and Dubai is finally unmasked as a huge con.

Also, where else can the western arms companies sell thier wares nowadays?

They will kill Bradley Manning over this and try and lock away Assange (who doubtless has a big head and is a bit of a twat but . . )

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Sinclair ZX81: 30 years old

Elmer Phud
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on the wall

I have a magazine advert for the white Z80 framed and on the wall at home.

My old ZX81 died and gave it to a friend as a present - it's fixed to his wall with a 6" nail through the middle.

ps, anyone want 10 rolls of thermal printer paper?

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