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* Posts by Elmer Phud

3202 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

Princeton solar researchers take leaf from plants’ book

Elmer Phud
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Megaphone

Re: We knew this 40+ years ago, in grade school/scouts.

"you can actually get a nice crunchy cookie (biscuit to you Brits) or properly cooked biscuit (scone to you Brits)."

Oi, since when has a scone been a biscuit?

It's a little cake.

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London Olympics 'not immune' to cyber attack

Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Re: Context?

Botnet?

Na, just a 13yr old who's left his Lego-hack kit running while he has his supper.

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Elmer Phud
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shaped by its users, not by governments

I was looking for the 'Two-Faced Bastard' icon.

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Black hole swallows star in GALACTIC SUPER-GUZZLE!

Elmer Phud
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Alien

Re: Anthropomorphism

I have been 'reliably' informed that stars are the homes of Angels (apparently it needs capitalisation), how cruel it is for humans to be gleeful at the death of countless spirit beings.

Hopefully, The Flying Spaghetti Monster (all hail His Noodleness) was not in the vicinity at the time.

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iTunes fanbois outraged by Apple's sex-life quiz probe

Elmer Phud
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Re: Verify or die

I know someone who puts in answers like that on forms at the local Job Center.

So far he's never been asked to clarify why he would want to be a megolomaniac bent on world domination.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: er ....

'Where were you on 1st January 2000?'

Not a clue, I was absolutley rat-arsed.

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China goes green with rare earth plea

Elmer Phud
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Re: kettle calling pot

"The recovery rate for rare earths is less than 50 per cent,"

not bad when you consider that slag and spoil heaps are now being considered as valuable deposits

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Quantum cruncher beats today's computers by 1080

Elmer Phud
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Re: Your mother

Nah they showed how it works in the animation in 'Meaning of Life'.

It's El Ron's Thetans at it again!

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Elmer Phud
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Yup, all I thought was "You won't like it"

(yeah well, the best laid plans of mice and all that )

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Ted Nugent fined for failing to kill bear

Elmer Phud
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Father Ted

"America - where else in the western world can you see armed fascist thugs wearing swastikas and giving Nazi salutes on the streets with that right protected as freedom of speech?"

Careful now, that's at least 50% of his audience.

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Jeremy Hunt clings on as SpAd quits over News Corp emails

Elmer Phud
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There's a timeline on the Guardian site that shows Hunt's involvement quite clearly.

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Elmer Phud
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Going, going . . .

"Cameron said that Hunt "has my full support for the excellent job that he does". "

So that's it then, gone by the end of the week.

(Ron Knee is 57)

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Gaia scientist Lovelock: 'I was WRONG and alarmist on climate'

Elmer Phud
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Happy

Re: Bugger.

We're still all doomed (I've seen Brian Cox on telly and he said so) - you just need to adjust your prophet or timescale.

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Floppy disk drives jam James Bond theme

Elmer Phud
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Hmmm . . .

They should have exploded (in slo-mo) at the end.

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Up to 390 TalkTalk jobs face axe as Northampton site shuttered

Elmer Phud
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Same old, same old

"The ISP said that following the closure of that office it expected to effectively outsource "200 new roles at Preston through the appointment of a new strategic partner to manage the existing site and some of its operations". "

'expected' is a variable and usually leans towards 'not a hope, sunshine'.

Doncha just love how 'outsourcing' is now 'stragegic partner' -- no, it's shifting the dirty stuff elsewhere. 'Effectively' just means 'getting rid of'.

There used to be 'Boardoom bingo', is there a 'Restructuring bingo' sheet out there?

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Suspected freetards to face piracy letters in 2014

Elmer Phud
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Re: Floating heads!

The 'organisational' chart appears to be a pond or a pool of -- floaters?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: 43 managers, one worker?

That'll be the unpaid intern then?

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Megaupload case near collapse: report

Elmer Phud
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Re: Can that prosecutor please explain . . .

"they think just because they have 19,000 drones around and can kill anyone, anywhere including US citizens "

A bit harsh for downloading crap movies, donchyathink?

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Met issues mug-shot gallery mobe app to finger wanted crooks

Elmer Phud
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Welcome to Neighbourhood Watch 2.0

Damn, beat me to it.

First app to ever come with twitching net curtains.

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French perfume house bottles 'Eau de new MacBook'

Elmer Phud
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Re: I love the smell of...

iPong?

iReek?

iStink?

ai, ai, ai!

Now I know why it's sometimes called 'Wiffi'

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Greenpeace calls out cloud names on green claims

Elmer Phud
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Blimey

Have I stumbled across Fox News comments or sutin ?

It's the 'fuck everybody - I want my porn' attitude that stinks.

Everyone wants the benefits and would prefer to not hear about the costs.

Or, rather, would prefer that the air looks like that of the permanent haze seen on TV at the Chinese Grand Prix - as long as it's 'there and not here'.

Yup, fuck everyone else, I don't care.

How that makes Greenpeace a bunch of Communists or Marxists I have no idea.

Sarah Palin must love you lot.

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Dad sues Apple for pushing cash-draining 'free' games at kids

Elmer Phud
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Apps?

Bloody hell I'm feeling old so soon.

It doesn't seem that long ago when this was all about Facebook or similar.

The credit card companies (or someone) need to release an app where you can prevent this from happening - it shouldn't be too hard.

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Ikea to integrate TV, Blu-ray, sound system into sideboard

Elmer Phud
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Re: Will avoid, lesson already learned

Had this once with a dining table leaf - it was a different finish to the other one.

Took it back , replaced, went home - right one but damged.

Took it back -replaced, opened there and then, wrong finish -- but noticed that the packing was slightly different between the two finishes.

Chat wth manager and we went and checked - yup, we could tell which finish by which factory had packed them.

Sorted - actually good service as they were happy to go beyond "It fits" or "it's the right code" or "replace or refund". It helped a lot that I wasn't one of the screaming complainants who had done stupid things and were blaming it all on the returns staff . Been on that side if it, symapthy helps.

To be honest - I'd prefer Ikea for someting like that than one of these cheapish beds with a flat screen on a lift.

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BT wants to poke fingers in EVERY broadband cash pie

Elmer Phud
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not quite

BT are interested in the same places as the rest of them .

This is no different from a few years back when Broadband was being offered by world+dog+tiscali.

In exchanges where there are several different operators it's an idea to check what they are all offering as regards speed - if there is only BT offering BB from an exchange it's 'cos the others can't be arsed.

Then along came the poorly implemented LLU where existing cabling and cabs not belonging to BT were never considered (why Virgin etc were not forced to share I have no idea)

But who, now, looks after the external side?

If the Virgin box just up the road (with ducts that go right past my house) had been LLU then I wouldn't have had to settle for FTC with the last 10m as O/H.

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Paddy Power website fell at Grand National first fence

Elmer Phud
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Re: Dead Horses

Next time (insert name of most personally disliked footballer here) goes crook - shoot the bugger!

They cost too much to look after.

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SpaceX Dragon gets green-light for launch to Space Station

Elmer Phud
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Holmes

"Have you put the bins out"

"1,400 pounds of material to take back to Earth."

'Mom, the honey wagon has arrived'

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Pirates not to blame for Big Media's sales plunge

Elmer Phud
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Re: "democratised content creation"

" There are an awful lot of really talentless people out there."

Yup, and it used to be more on the web than on telly but the web is getting more pro while the telly is catering more and more for the noise and gloss and glitz.

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RIP wind power: Minister blows away plans for more turbines

Elmer Phud
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I smell elections coming

as title

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Himalayan glaciers actually GAINING ice, space scans show

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Re: Watch the excuses come out

Thus all scientists and science is funded this way?

That is the Daily Mail/Sun approach - not exactly scientific, is it?

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Elmer Phud
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Flame

Re: Watch the excuses come out

Excuse?

It's those Asians coming over here stealing our water and adding to thier ice mountain, just t make us crawl to the Chinese for our, no doubt, water with nasty visruses in it.

I didn't fight in two world wars etc. etc.

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Android Trojan distracts Japanese with anime and porn

Elmer Phud
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Meh

Trojans and Google etc

There was a recent bit of news that the bulk of iPad apps being downloaded are basically for the under ten year olds - iPads being the new babysitters, apparently - just wipe the jam and snot off each time.

Android is obviously is aimed at a more responsible age group where no-one is tempted by bright shiny things that promise so much in return for so little.

Boy and toys, eh.

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Yet another OSX/Java Trojan spotted in the wild

Elmer Phud
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Alien

Re: "Deli Lama"??

Look within the salt beef sarnie, oh seeker of truth and enlightenment.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: re: ANOTHER APPLE VIRUS

Yes, it's a bit noisy in here for those who are recovering after a weekend.

I recommend that on Monday mornings only italics should be used.

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Microsoft seals up Windows zero-day flaw in April Patch Tuesday

Elmer Phud
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Hmm . .

My Hotmail account seems to have been chucking out spam in the past few days, not connected with the server flaws I suppose.

(mainly spamming mail addreses that are dead and I haven't cleared out)

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Windows XP support ends two years from now

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Advice please

"XP installation must be finished with nLite, and by a technician who understands it."

Pray tell us mere mortals why that is and how it is that so many installs of XP have happened without the need for such an 'expert'.

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Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Re: Take an example to 13 years of XP!

"you don't have to do a full re-install if you . . ."

Ah, that tiny, weeny 'if' that puts people off.

How many punters even rename partitions to suit themselves?

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Elmer Phud
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Facepalm

Re: Migrate before ...

"we removed the last Windows OS and installed a Linux Mint desktop complete with Mono + Mono Develop to replace the Windows plus Visual Studio set up. In this way can continue to develop C# ASP.NET web applications, which are now hosted on Debian Linux servers."

and some folks wonder why the punters don't adopt Linux - can you shove in a disc and let it do the set-up work for you? No.

Until that happens then Windows will still be there to annoy you.

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Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Re: Will be with us for a while

I was in Wickes a while back and the till crashed just as I got to the checkout.

"Hello, that error message looks familiar" I sad to the man at the till, "what do you mean?" sez he.

"It's got that Win98 look to it" sez I, "You know, I think you're right" sez he.

"I'm sure I've got a 98 boot floppy somewhere in the motor if you get stuck"

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Watchdog sniffs David Beckham's wedding tackle

Elmer Phud
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Childcatcher

Re: What do these prudes do . . .

Search YouTube for 'Father Ted lingerie'

won't somebody think of the children?

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Prehistoric monster snake crushed prey under 1.5 Brooklyn Bridges

Elmer Phud
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Boffin

big stick theory

But there are those who still believe that Stonehenge and 'the pyramids' were mainy built by blokes tapping large lumps of rock with big sticks.

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£575m school IT bonanza showers Capita, RM, 16 others

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Only money?

So that's about £200m actually reaching the eduction part of it then?

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Los Alamos fires BLOODY BIG MAGNET

Elmer Phud
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The Great Magnet sukz!

(but some find it hugely repulsive)

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Solar power towers overpower PV panels by 20X

Elmer Phud
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Headmaster

Re: "Nuke, because it doesn't go off in the winter"

History has so many simliar rants that go back hundreds of years.

Nothing special, things change, even the meaning of words can reverse in less than a century.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Pointing down?

Certainly in the UK it's often better not to try pointing stuff at the sun but to work on reflected light from clouds intead.

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Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Re: Trees got there first - Bring me a shubbery

Sorry to point out this one small item - I'm not too sure how easy it is to move trees about.

Towers of PV? - easy

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AVG nukes stalking ads at press of BIG SHINY BUTTON

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Re: Pardon me, but isn't that a bit rich?

What, you don't untick the boxes first?

There's a lot of good free stuff that comes with opt out tick boxes.

If I don't want Chrome or various toolbars or search defaults then I untick.

Hardly being 'stiffed' is it?

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Paedophiles ‘disguise’ child abuse pages as legit websites

Elmer Phud
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Trollface

Re: couldn't agree more.

"Then find him not guilty in court so you can cut his filthy sicko balls off when he's got out of the pub after celebrating his acquital"

And don't forget to video it and post a link.

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Robotic surgeon successful in first prostate snip

Elmer Phud
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Happy

Re: I think I'd rather a robot went up my rectum

Asimo?

Why not Mr Psycho from Robot Wars?

Grapes peeled and crushed.

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Scammers exploit new Dr Who girl with Twitter smut video

Elmer Phud
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Pint

Re: Scammers Knows Their Mark

Well, when you consider that one of the more frequent comments on a new female assistant is

"Would I shag her?" I guess they are easy pickings and possibly deserve it.

( half a troll icon)

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So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Elmer Phud
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Marvin

With Alan Rickman doing a fairly poor Stephen Moore impression.

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