* Posts by Elmer Phud

4520 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

India follows up Mars orbiter with successful space observatory launch

Elmer Phud
WTF?

Corbynite?

Elmer Phud

'Cos we'd rather spunk over £60Bn on a bloody train-set?

Spirit of Steve Fosset lives on as glider is poised to soar to 90,000ft

Elmer Phud

Re: Wave lift

"I've been in it, a couple of times,"

God, you could hate some people, sometimes

(but still give them a upvote)

Capita: O2 call centre staff exodus is premature evacuation

Elmer Phud

Re: I know it won't happen

This pretty much happend when I worked for a large comms company. People took the money and were looking forward to getting out, being, mightily pissed off at the way things had been for a while (many thought it deliberate before the offfer to go).

I was moved sideways and backwards and forwards and all over the place - not actually with a role but still getting paid - eventually met my old line manager who had been brought back on as agency staff at three times his old rate.

Greetings of 'what the fuck are you doing here?' were exchanged followed by many chuckles as we tried to work out how many millions the cost savings hadn't been.

Google and NASA hop into bed with quantum computing biz

Elmer Phud

Re: I for one..

So, Google are not content to take over this planet -- but every version of this planet that is possible!

So many tin-foil hats, so little time (or can I sub them out to a sweat shop in another dimension?)

Marijuana from heaven: Bundle of blow bombs bow-wow's boudoir

Elmer Phud

Re: We could have made lots of home repairs with that.

Nah, sell (some of) the draw and get the builders in.

Sorted.

US military personnel investigated for splashing $96,576 on strippers

Elmer Phud

Re: Young stupid kids with a company issued credit card.

If they have corporate cards they are unlikely to be 'kids' -- think of middle management instead.

UK.gov creates £500K fund to help universities teach cyber skills

Elmer Phud

Re: Universities can't do training, they just do "Education"

Terribly sorry if Universities are not churning out robotic fools purely for the use of the commercial sector.

Terribly sorry if Uni's want to EDUCATE people.

Terribly sorry if some students want to go to Uni just to LEARN and not become a company drone.

Sorry to be such a huge inconvenience to you.

Ps, R U Michael Gove (or his clone)?

Transport for London’s new crash map immediately crashes

Elmer Phud

" East London’s Silicon Roundabout is notorious for cycling accidents, yet the new map reveals that there hasn’t been a serious accident here involving a cyclist since 2011."

Well, dear Boris kept insisting there was nothing wrong with it - despite the deaths.

Dislike: Facebook scammers latch onto anti-Like button calls

Elmer Phud

New?

Didn't this first appear about five years back, just after the first demand for a 'dislike' button?

This time there are even 'click here to get your Dislike button' scams.

I think the Omnipotent One would let the world + dog and, of course cat know all about it -- it'd be on the main news.

China launches 'pollution-free' rocket

Elmer Phud

Mini-satellites

Momentarily donning an aluminum or aluminium hat --- what about when 200 or so mini-sats finally combine and produce one big fuck-off military-spec satellite hunter?

Sky falling in, etc etc.

Pentagon on manual mission to build nation-wide security database

Elmer Phud

Re: What's the betting...

Or it's all just lifted with ease?

Doctor Who storms back in fine form with Season 9 opener The Magician's Apprentice

Elmer Phud

Tardis

Wearing the hat that says 'pedantic git', did we actually see the Tardis destroyed or just loads of bright sparkly stuff followed with a couple of minor distractions with Missy and Calara getting the old 'EXTERMINATE!' treatment?

Shirley any self-respecting Tardis would have the decence to explode!

Elmer Phud

It's my party and I'll die if I want to

I thought Misssy explained it rather well.

The Doctor was having a leaving do -- such a good time that three weeks had passed when he thought it was one day (that's Time Lords for you).

Dude.

A krayshee sexy Dutch post-pub nosh neckfiller: Stamppot

Elmer Phud
Headmaster

Re: peeling potatoes when pissed?

could have done with losing an 'o' -- wobble it, see if it's loose.

Australia's biggest IT project failure/blowout may have started today

Elmer Phud

Re: NBN delivered? lol

"Australian IT / Comms is a joke. I know guys who worked on the Queensland Health project, and it was run by complete muppets who were all political appointees who knew nothing about IT."

Well, we here in Blighted are about to see the back of a 'top advisor on technology' who has managed to make several sow's ears of a large health project without a single actual real thing being done.

"One of David Cameron’s top advisers on technology, Tim Kelsey, has resigned from the NHS to take up a job with the health data division of Australia’s largest telecommunications company."

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/sep/17/cameron-adviser-leaves-controversial-nhs-data-scheme-private-sector.

No, don't thank us, the pleasure is all ours.

Architect of UK’s hated Care.data scheme quits NHS, flees from Britain

Elmer Phud

Costs?

How much has he wasted on our behalf before he knew the game was up and he scarpered?

How much will he be getting as a goodbye prezzie?

Man given positive pregnancy test in an Apple Watch box

Elmer Phud

'Positive and public proof of my manhood and virility'

Immediate recognition of someone I used to work with.

At any given chance he'd whip out photos of his kids to prove his sperm had been active at some point. Never any pic of his missus (who, I guess played some small part in this) and also used to show his kid-pics to women he was trying to pick up.

At one time we had a young-ish female as a manager and he tried the 'my sperm is awesome' on her.

I asked her if he'd tried it on -- she said she tried not to laugh all the time at such a pathetic apology of humanity.

Journos to be spared replacement by robots, BBC claims

Elmer Phud

Re: Teachers

The robots are usuallly found in the Academy/Free sector. They are known as 'classroom assistants' whose job it is to 'instruct' pupils in what ever wet-dream Gove's clone has dreamed up.

'Teachers' are far too expensive and likely to go on strike when pissed off. They also are an everpresent danger as they may encourage pupils to actually think.

This new new chip will self-destruct in less than 10 seconds

Elmer Phud

Hackerz

Ah, to witness the first multi-machine hack going off . . .

Murder suspect alert? Nah: Scammers fling cop-style malware

Elmer Phud

Why the F would the cops be sending out zip files?

I'd expect a full page knocked up on Word and exported as HTM.

Attempted bank robber demands cash transfer ... to his own account

Elmer Phud

Arizona lads recover epic stratovid – two years after launch

Elmer Phud
WTF?

Re: Curvature

You sayin' it's not flat?

Vanished global warming may not return – UK Met Office

Elmer Phud

Burning down the house

Eeeh, we've not had a decent winter for decades.

Nothing to match winter 1960(whateveritwas).

(Not had proper smog for years either)

Elmer Phud

Re: Jeremy will save us

Don't be silly -- Jeremys brother will get the forecast gig (he's bloody good at it) and the Tories and UKKKIP will be battering the BBC.

Elmer Phud

Re: Indian Summer?

I am surprised that people in the UK are surprised that 'Indian Summers' occur.

It's not as if it's a standard weather pattern for early autumn is it?

(late September - early October 'office is too cold - put the heating on'. Mid October -- 'too warm, turn the heatng off!')

Elmer Phud

Humans are soooo selfish, they think it's all for thier benefit -- pretty standard stuff from newbies.

Elmer Phud

Re: Proposal

"You know what fallacy means?"

I know what it sounds like . . .

Elmer Phud

Re: Just asking....

Plenty of stuff about the shadow cabinet and the lack of females at the top.

That the shadow cabinet was discussed between Corbyn and the Labour Chief Whip and that the whip is female seems to have been glossed over.

But, yes -- plenty of thinly veiled 'sexism' claims.

Try expanding your search or even looking at the 'politics' section.

DARPA adds 'sense of touch' to robot hand

Elmer Phud

Re: Awesome... err No Comment

Did you toss that one off in a hurry?

How did jihadists hack into top UK ministerial emails if no security breach took place?

Elmer Phud

Shirly it has nothing to do with the announcement that Jeremy Corbyn is a 'threat to National Security'.

Jeremy Corbyn wins Labour leadership election

Elmer Phud

Re: Whatever happened to UKIP?

And Carswell is still a staunch Tory

Cracktivists pop 11 MEELLION Ashley Madison passwords

Elmer Phud

Re: Point?

When the sleazy operators and equally sleazy 'customers' of this pimp shop seem more concerned about thier security than cheating on partners - I reckon the hackers (if they did actually 'hack' and not just used already available tools) have done us a favour.

11 meeeelion people who are to be kept at the end of someone elses barge pole have been identified.

MYSTERIES of remote ICE WORLD PLUTO: New pics BAMBOOZLE boffins

Elmer Phud

IoW?

Could be the Isle of Wight, but there's only room for one timewarp in our solar system

Cuffed Texan woman holsters loaded gun IN VAGINA

Elmer Phud

Purse

The 'purse' in question is the same as Kity Fisher's 'pocket'.

And the Latin roots to these and vagina are the same.

'Is that a gun in your pocket? Damn, these new-fangled contraceptives'

'A word processor so simple my PA could use it': Joyce turns 30

Elmer Phud

Hmmm. . .

I remember Framework on an XT

Manchester fuzz 'truly sorry' for 'accidentally' hacking phone of whistleblower cop's girlf

Elmer Phud

Re: Lost hyphens

Don't be so bloody silly!

They investigate dodgy dealings within the cut-throat world of full-contact Tiddlywinks.

Outsourcing to 'play a part' in reducing £1bn police IT bill

Elmer Phud

It's only money

"The Police ICT Company was originally hoped to cut coppers' IT costs by £465m a year. However, the body has since said it is aiming for savings of "at least £150m" per year."

Usually the beancounters have already allowed for these 'savings' in the budget available. Then the 'savings' never materialise so the plod wil be shat on for something out of thier control

Sure works like that with my local authority.

BORN to HURL: Man's shoulders are head and shoulders above apes, gorillas, chimps etc

Elmer Phud

Re: Nothing?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overarm_bowling

Elmer Phud
FAIL

Nothing?

Nothing about 'overarm' bowling being invented by mere girlies?

Nothing about it beiing banned by males as the girlies were too good for them?

Russian regulator bans PornHub for its ‘illegal pornography’

Elmer Phud

Only images of bare-chested strong, manly types riding horses and fishing and hunting allowed.

Putin rules with a rod of iron -- oooh errr missus

Court battle date set for £300m BT Cornwall termination dispute

Elmer Phud

Enter the usual suspect?

I bet Capita is sniffing around

Et voilà: Violated Versailles vagina might stay violated

Elmer Phud

Re: Er, why are we following this?

" re-engage with a nice cuppa and a very large cake instead."

either it's another artwork or a sign that someone is not exactly on thier uppers -- who else can afford tea and cake at Tate Modern?

Voluminous Versailles vagina viciously violated – again

Elmer Phud

No fun in Fundamentalists (but plenty of mental)

Also painted on it “Christ is king in Versailles”.

Ship-swallowing GREEN BIO-STORM spotted FROM SPAAACE

Elmer Phud

Re: Quickly!

Other than it not being 'introduced' by some dexter (I'm left-handed - the rest of you are all Dr Evil) organisation bent on desabilising [insert targret here] -- and that the alge IS natural, I canlt see why the 'joke' icon --or is it the "Nothing will go wrong!".

Anyway --there's a lot of oxygen given off by that stuff.

Sexy sock puppets seduce security suckers

Elmer Phud

Re: Non-sexist security researchers?

I don't think they are that discerning.

"Here's a pic of a pretty woman, click on it"

Proof that LinkedIn really is just another Facebook.

No boxy Volvo: Chilling in the S60 D3 Manual R-Design Lux Nav

Elmer Phud

Re: Buy one now!

And they think "TWAT"

Toyota chucks $50m at AI car tech

Elmer Phud

" and potentially even helping us develop a vehicle incapable of getting into a collision."

Now, some might see that as a challenge

You tried to hide your extramarital affair … by putting it on the web?

Elmer Phud

What did you expect?

Cognitive computing: What can and can’t we do, and should lipreading be banned?

Elmer Phud

Hmmm. . .

"Bishop believes there are three things humans do which are simply incomputable. The first is true creativity.

The second is understanding. Computers will never truly understand concepts, he argues, basing this on John Searle’s Chinese Room Argument suggesting instead that they display a kind of computational quasi-understanding.

Finally, he doesn’t believe that computers will never be truly conscious."

I just think he's biased. Taking a human point of view -- but humans do tend to be full of themselves until they screw up.