* Posts by Elmer Phud

4211 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

The future often starts as a toy, so don't shun toy VR this Christmas

Elmer Phud
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Re: I'd save some money back...

I wish I'd had the money to do all that.

A cheap VR can bring many of these things to those who could never actually go to these places.

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Elmer Phud
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and . . .

basic light meter, spirit level, Wi-Fi sniffer . . .

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Telstra's answers El Reg's Smart Home security questions

Elmer Phud
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A cold winter?

Xmas means lots and lots of shiny-shiny.

With all the IoT adverts there will be lot of the stuff installed/bunged in.

Also lots of press about ease of access.

Bored teenagers over Xmas looking for holes in the neighbours network . . .

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What went wrong at Tesco Bank?

Elmer Phud
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Re: Given current reporting

They are while there is a possibility of Trump going ahead with a 45% levy on Chinese kit.

Double Trumped

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Insider job?

Or does 'click and collect' at their nearest Tesco

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Five-a-day energy drink habit turned chap's eyes yellow, urine dark, caused anorexia

Elmer Phud
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Re: "Jesus load of caffeine"?

There's a lot of crap goes in to mask the sweetness and other crap to mask the masking things.

But fuck that caffeine, nasty stuff.

Never like seeing truck drivers with the shakes at the same fuel stop as me don't want to be anywhere near them on the road.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Far be it from me to throw the first rock

I don't drink 'energy' drinks and coke rarely but BACON?

Jeez, that's tough.

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Sound-mufflers chuck acoustic sleep blanket at the noise-plagued

Elmer Phud
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And it looked so promising

" A one-room kit consists of two wall-mounted speakers and integrates with home IoT kit such as . . ."

Hmm, 50calibre machine gun fire at 3 in the morning via the 'secure' IoT?

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Smart Meter rollout delayed again. Cost us £11bn, eh?

Elmer Phud
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Re: Shafted at both ends

Also living in the model for Easy Council (flog it all, flog the lot! then praise yourself) I have declined the possibility of a 'smart meter'.

I just don't trust any of the buggers.

Crapita has a looooong history of screwing over Barnet while the leader buy themselves new laptops, iPads etc.

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The IoT market will grow through cannibalisation, says Tech Mahindra

Elmer Phud
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Money ---- anything about security?

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LASER RAT FENCE wins €1.7m European Commission funds

Elmer Phud
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Those of us old enough to remember . . .

. . . will recall the astounding results achieved by the Chinese when they decided to 'deal' with the problem of birds eating crops.

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Accountant falls for sexy Nigerian email scammer, gives her £150k he cheated out of pal

Elmer Phud
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Prime target

"Described as a "church-going and well-respected professional","

Well, yeah. Research has shown that educated 'professionals' tend to be some of the easiest meat.

Humans are still the easiest vector.

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It's nearly 2017 and JPEGs, PDFs, font files can hijack your Apple Mac, iPhone, iPad

Elmer Phud
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Re: Cupertino is ...

"As Linux gains foothold in the desktop market,"

Yeah, right . . .

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Thanks, IoT vendors: your slack attitude will get regulators moving

Elmer Phud
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I blame the chemtrails

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Après nous le déluge

CE labels don't cost much to buy . . .

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Elmer Phud
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Re: National regulation won't do a damned thing.

Nice things become normal things

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Judge nailed for trying to bribe Fed with fizzy water (aka Bud Light)

Elmer Phud
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Nah, one was seriously affronted at not being offered single malt.

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New measurement alert. The Pogba: 1,200Pg = NHS annual budget

Elmer Phud
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Value

For some it seems that the base pogba is vastly over inflated while the NHS requires long term investment rather that the shorter term payback of booze and arms that often includes NHS clients.

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Two new dinosaurs walked from South America to Australia, via Antarctica

Elmer Phud
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Re: Length

Is that the old Routemaster or the new one?

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Mysterious algorithms, black-box AI recruiters are binning our résumés

Elmer Phud
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Good scanning system

I've seen someone operating very good CV scanning system.

Any applicants will have read 'No photos with this application'.

As soon as envelopes (it was a while back) were opened they were checked for photo's, if a photo was included the whole lot was binned without being read.

"If they can't fucking read the application form I can't be fucking bothered to read either. I need people who do not just scan but understand, this is a fucking hospital, for fuck's sake".

This is after getting fed up with people seeing the job description and assuming it was a PC World type hard drive replacement service and not a proper IT wonk job.

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RRS Sir David Attenborough construction goes full-steam ahead

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Much as I might be in favour . . .

but WTF?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: and after the sea

Thank you.

No need to go to YouTube, the song started all by itself.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: and after the sea

Thank you.

No need to go to YouTube, the song started all

by itself.

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Google DeepMind 'learns' the London Underground map to find best route

Elmer Phud
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Does it do . . .

Bank to Mansion House?

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One-quarter of UK police websites lack a secure connection

Elmer Phud
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Too busy?

Have they been too busy snooping on us, to eager to spunk millions over 'anti-terrorist' toys to look after their own house?

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Internet of Things botnets: You ain’t seen nothing yet

Elmer Phud
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Dates

Is that 'use by' or 'best before' or ?

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You're fired (into space)! Trump tops Martian ejaculation poll

Elmer Phud
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Read that wrong

I thought I read it as being a mass being aimed at the surface of Mars for ejecta experiments.

Why waste on life-support?

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Invasion of the virus-addled lightbulbs (and other banana stories)

Elmer Phud
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My IoT toaster is taking the piss

It keeps making toast with images of religious characters on them.

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Elmer Phud
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Hmm . . .

If there is 'no AI' why do the floating SpaceX landing platforms all have names of GCU's from Ian Bank's Culture series?

(it's because they can't trust stupid humans to handle all the tasks)

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Windows 10 market share fell in September

Elmer Phud
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Re: "Windows 10 has done very well at home"

"It takes a company with an IT department and dedicated staff to keep MS in check these days."

Really? most folks just wander through 'settings' telling W10 to bugger off.

Other than the usual crap that home users have -- like finding no uninstall for Macafee, W10 doesn't seem to have been any hassle.

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‘You can’t opt out of IoT’: Our future is the Rise of the Sensor Machines

Elmer Phud
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Pirate

Terminator? nah.

" Pre-emptively bowing the knee to our future robot overlords, Sacke said: “I hesitate to use the film analogy but it’ll be like Terminator: Rise of the Machines.” "

Toner more like it:

" "See, there's mites around all the time. They use sparkles to talk to each other," Harv explained. "They're in the food and water, everywhere. And there's rules that these mites are supposed to follow. They're supposed to break down into safe pieces... But there are people who break those rules [so the] Protocol Enforcement guys make a mite to go out and find that mite and kill it. This dust - we call it toner - is actually the dead bodies of all those mites." "

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UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Oh, please don't put me in jail . . .

""This will destroy my life, I am the director of a company and everyone would lose their jobs. We have 1,000 clients, we have staff all around the country, and it would die," "

Standard defence for arseholes.

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NHS 'paperless roadmap': Fewer dead trees, more data control

Elmer Phud
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Does paperless mean more time?

Currently going through process that will end up with radiotherapy to deal with prostate cancer.

The ambulance chasers have instilled procedures where my GP gets a letter each time I see a consultant.

If my GP gets one each time a patient on thier books sees a specialist or has a hospital appointment then they do not have time to do thier job properly as they are inundated with paper.

How this would be any different, I fail to see.

The GP will still have to tick a box somewhere, mark it 'read or whatever'.

I can only forsee another round of IT consultancy firms making money.

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Hacker takes down CEO wire transfer scammers, sends their Win 10 creds to the cops

Elmer Phud
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The higher you aim in an organisation, the easier it is for click-bait to work.

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Newest Royal Navy warship weighs as much as 120 London buses

Elmer Phud
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Warship?

There are football club owners who would regard something that size as a day-boat.

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Ireland looks like it's outpacing Britain in the superfast broadband rollout stakes

Elmer Phud
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Will they stop at the border and go "sorry, before Brexit we'd have just carried on but now . . . "

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BSODs at scale: We laugh at your puny five storeys, here's our SIX storey #fail

Elmer Phud
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and over at the entertainment industry . . .

as there are numerous Chinese knock-off of lighting and sound desks, the number of BSOD displayed at gigs, conferences etc. is maybe bigger than you'd think

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Notting Hill Carnival spycams: Met Police rolls out real-time live face-spotting tech

Elmer Phud
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Re: Its a Canival FFS, not a Police Identity Parade. Leave People be.

They've been recording faces at Carnival for decades.

I remember when they went from a battery of stills cameras on the WestWay overpass to adding video cameras.

It's important to remember the history of the area and the old, old antipathy between the police and the black community. It was a really run down, area way back.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Time for some face paint

They could try the 'must have something to hide' gamble but there are plenty of lawyers who would question the need to stop people joining in the festivities, fortunately.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Forbidden

or nicked for a spliff a few times.

It ain't just yer cardboard cutout, the stereotype.

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Elmer Phud
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Carnival just is.

That's why.

It doesn't(didn't) belong to anyone but the local people - no church, no state, no royalty -- just people.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's... er, Graphene bubbles – 200 times stronger than Superman

Elmer Phud
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Re: Gigapascals?

Depends how many Nuns you take off first

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Facebook, Twitter and Google are to blame for terrorism, say MPs

Elmer Phud
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"Facebook, Twitter and Google are to blame for terrorism, say MPs"

and there was me thinking it was mainly down to religion.

shows what I know

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Going! going! pwned? 200! million! Yahoo! logins! leaked! allegedly!

Elmer Phud
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If its the 2012 stuff then possibly.

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Virgin Galactic wins US operator's licence for SpaceShipTwo

Elmer Phud
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Space?

Many of those who clamoured (or were given tickets?) for the first flight will have snuffed it by the time the 'SS Branson' does its first proper flight.

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UK's 'Sir King Cash' card fraudster ordered to cough up £560,000

Elmer Phud
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"His Majesty [no – ed] had been convicted of purchasing stolen card numbers from Russian hackers, then using the cards to make purchases from his own online music service and DJ equipment store, the "profits" of which he then cashed out and used to go on a spending spree "

There is something there that makes me think he's not really the sharpest blunt thing in the box.

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Elmer Phud
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U R Theresa May AICMFP

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Unicode serves up bacon emoji

Elmer Phud
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There's a thingy shaped like a vegetable

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Science Museum maths gallery to offer the perfect pint

Elmer Phud
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Zero

Does it tell of the struggle to get zero adopted in the West?

That awful thing that is something representing nothing.

What have the Romans done for us?

Held us back for several hundred years, is what.

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Elmer Phud
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Considering the lineage of the Royals --- shouldn't you be quaffing Litres?

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