* Posts by Elmer Phud

3711 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

Costa Coffee Club members wake up and smell the data breach

Elmer Phud
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" "recently identified a small number of Coffee Card members (around 0.02 per cent) with some unusual activity on their accounts". "

How is it that it's always a 'small number' that is affected?

First they don't know what's going on - next they have minute details.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Not that bothered

There are several born every minute.

That's what those who dip in to servers rely on.

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Crap ad app hack hole affects '100 MEELLLION'

Elmer Phud
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AdLibr

"I'm a great ad-libber, I ad libber for lunch"

(Milligan)

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Cheer up songwriters, there's shedloads of money rolling in

Elmer Phud
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Re: Money

It's a gas,

grab it with both hands and make a stash

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Money

It's a gas

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Something's missing in our universe: Boffins look into the SUPERVOID

Elmer Phud
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Re: Does there have to be a reason for it?

"It's all quantum"

See The Science of Discworld.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Does there have to be a reason for it?

If it's a random outcome that that's the reason for it.

(Thougth it's unlikely to be 'random' 'cos everything is Chaos and Quantum these days.)

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Elmer Phud
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Re: It was being filled

It actually looks like the accountants true sheets when the banks were investigated.

But could the missing stuff from the supervoid just be resting in Ted Crilley's account?

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El Reg assembles mighty Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

Elmer Phud
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Free meat!

Should anyone fancy plump Woodpigeon for free, there are some in my small garden.

Suggest no firearms to be used as this is suburban London -- decent crossbow will suffice.

Pick your own Pigeon!

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It's official: David Brents are the weakest link in phishing attacks

Elmer Phud
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For a long time now my email has been set up to display only in text - no pictures, no hyperlinks.

Attatchments come through but my head can filter these.

I just remember those heady days of corporate Outlook set to show everything.

Also remember working on a helldesk and informing internal middle managers they can rant all they like but if they thought it was clever to open an email they knew did funny things to the screen - just to show it to a collegue - then it was self-inflicted and they would never get anything higher than a Cat3 fault. After all, some of them worked and signed off the mail security policy, ffs!

My own middle-manager was happy to finally get one over on the bean-counters.

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Neurobabble makes nonsense brain 'science' more believable

Elmer Phud
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Caps

I thought that The More Capitals something had The More Important and Obviously Authoratitive it is.

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Spotty dwarf Ceres BARES ALL in NASA's SHINY CLOSEUPS

Elmer Phud
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Not mirrors

It's what happens when you go for cheap double-glazing and pay half upfront.

They've fitted two windows and then buggered off.

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iPhone vs. Galaxy fight hospitalises two after beer bottle stabbing

Elmer Phud
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This sort of violence is terrible -- remember kids:

Don't do phones!

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Alfa Romeo MiTo Quadrifoglio Verde: Less fun than it should be

Elmer Phud
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Re: MK?

Ah, it's been a while . . .

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Elmer Phud
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MK?

"but being able to change up as you exit a roundabout means even Milton Keynes can be fun."

Eh? Those roundabouts always seemed to be designed by someone who had engineered them to be able to be taken at speed - once you find the right line it's the same for most of them.

Changing up as you exit - Are you sure you've only just found this?

Blimey, kids these days . . . .

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Graphic designs: Six speedy 17-inch gaming laptops

Elmer Phud
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Re: My son's Bargain Gaming Laptop ...

"128TB SSD "

?

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WW2 German Enigma machine auctioned for record-breaking price

Elmer Phud
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Re: And should Cameron win...

"For clarity I'm firmly of view that the only man to enter parliament with honest intentions was guy fawkes"

Yet he was set up, a pawn in the game of Prods V's Papists.

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Google's new scribble-tab-ulous handwriting interface for Android

Elmer Phud
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"must be expressed in 1950's morris dancing style."

Beware of innocent looking damsels with effing big sticks!

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Lib Dem manifesto: Spook slapdown, ban on teen-repelling Mosquitos

Elmer Phud
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Curse those pesky kids!

"Among its other pledges, the party wants to ban Mosquito devices "that discriminate against young people" by blasting them with a high pitch noise"

Maybe, just maybe, Mr Clegg there wouldn't be so many kids hanging about if thier parents could stump up the fees for Uni.

The most painful and irritating noise at the moment is you speechifying all over the place while forgetting we remember your promises and your track-record being Cameron's puppy.

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Aussie priest BLESSES an APP – and the sacred iPad it runs on

Elmer Phud
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Appy- clappy

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Four boggling websites we found hidden in the BitTorrent network using the Maelstrom browser

Elmer Phud
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'Normal Web'

says part of the caption for a picture

My 'normal web' does not have half the screen taken up by two ads for HP stuff.

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HOVER ROCKET space station podule mission LIGHTNING HOLD DRAMA

Elmer Phud
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Re: landing barge "Just Read the Instructions"

It seems there are a few people about who have read Ian M Banks.

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You’ll be the coolest guy in IT if you ain't got your ID

Elmer Phud
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Re: That's why you get to know the security people

Yup, smile, nod say 'good morning' to them.

Far too many don't even see them unless they ask for ID in which case they are 'The SS' or 'Stasi'.

'Don't you get breaks?' is a fine opening -- not 'How many heaters do you have in that isolated, shitty portacabin?'

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PHYSICS APPLECART UPSET as dark energy disappears, Universe slams on brakes

Elmer Phud
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Re: Analogy

"I think in the UK you might need a time machine to sample a selection of 100W light bulbs at the hardware store ..."

Nah, you only have to ask . . .

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Daddy Dyson keeps it in the family and hoovers up son’s energy biz

Elmer Phud
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But can a Dyson suck plaster off walls and also survive several excursions down the stairs and still be happily working witho problems?

Henry -- cheap, powerful, possibly nuke-proof.

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Indian cops spice up protests with pepper spray-armed DRONES

Elmer Phud
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Re: Oh, yummy! Bhut jolokia! Fruity! :-)

Much cheaper to beat protesters.

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Elmer Phud
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Go fly a kite!

Isn't kite flying very popular in India?

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Bad news everyone: Cybercrime is getting even easier

Elmer Phud
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Pirate

I bet you copied that headline off the net!

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TTIP: Protect our privacy in EU-US trade deal or ELSE, snarl MEPs

Elmer Phud
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EU - huh! what is it good for?

For those who would like to see the end of the 'EUSSR' and who are also acolytes of the yellow and purple messiah who just lurves TTIP --- only those with something to hide are frightened of having thier data available to the the highest bidder (or those with a contract).

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Ex-cop: Holborn fireball comms outage cover for £200m bling heist gang

Elmer Phud
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Re: Huh?

It might be but not many people know that

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Insurance

There may well be other stuff that hasn't necessarily been 'appropriated' but tends to come in kilos.

Nice handy place if you have clients in the City.

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Elmer Phud
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" I can't see the Met not responding to a phone call or alarm activation because they maybe had a couple of their cars busy . . . "

The way things are with the Met (no, not the City Cops - that;s a different universe entirely) they may only have a couple of cars in the centre of town.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Transatlantic twonk

and it's in 'hoburn' not Hol-born (which isn't far from Wesminister - Westminister, more Brits have problems with that than anyone else)

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Hollywood Eat Your Heart Out

You get an upvote just for mentioning Sexy Beast

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Do androids dream of herding electric sheep?

Elmer Phud
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Bark? Bite?

Easy enough to fit to a drone.

Especially the 'bark'.

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Drill, baby, drill: HIDDEN glaciers ON MARS hold 150bn cubic metres of precious frozen WATER

Elmer Phud
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Re: Exciting New Bogus Health Claims To Come!

And if it proves to give you a bit of a gippy tummy then it can be marketed exactly like a 'yoghurt-based drink with addded bacteria and fiber ' which " contributes to an acceleration of intestinal transit".

(I cannot watch the advert without laughing at a product which is marketed as being good at helping you shit better in such polite terms.)

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Dusty Glaciers

not on the videos I saw, she didn't

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Your home automation things are a security nightmare

Elmer Phud
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Re: Who is this product aimed at?

"Why on god's green earth does anyone need an internet interface to their garage door?"

So you can see who is trying to look at your 'Fisher Price My First Meth Lab' set-up?

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Chelsea Manning sets up low-tech Twitter account from prison

Elmer Phud
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"it gets sex mutilation surgery"

Ah, 'it' and later on 'vets'.

Thank you, told us all we neeed to know- now fuck off, you intolerant twat.

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Got an Android mobe with a virus? Congrats, you're The One Per Cent

Elmer Phud
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Facepalm

Just click and go?

Don't people check permissions first and look for another app if they think the first one is too intrusive?

Click and go? -- deserve the pain if you do.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: A little math..

"Try torrenting any computer game or Photoshop for instance - you stand a better than fighting chance of getting infected."

But isn't that exactly like going elsewhere for your apps?

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Google cracks down on browser ad injectors after shocking study

Elmer Phud
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Re: Unwanted ad injectors aren't part of a healthy ads ecosystem

Soooo, it's fine to advertise a game as 'free to play' with a tiny (may need in-game purchases to get anywhere off the first level)?

They are NOT 'free to play' they are 'we'll get you hooked then demand money to get anywhere with the game'.

Free to play?

Nah, 'free to be pwnd'

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Boris Johnson backs trade union campaign to ungag civil servants

Elmer Phud
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Eh?

Boris supporting people who are being gagged?

Wasn't there something about trying to silence an ex-partner?

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Smart meters are a ‘costly mistake’ that'll add BILLIONS to bills

Elmer Phud
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"Edit: to comply with UK GOV sex discrimination laws the following addendum has been added:"

But that's astill a sort of sexist get-out clause.

Why not a simple 'Burn them!'?

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Jailed Brit con phishes prison, gets bail

Elmer Phud
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Re: Oh, the details

" it's Southwark, not "Southwalk"."

Nah, it ain't.

It's 'Suvvahk' innit!

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Elmer Phud
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Thumb Up

Re: Oh, the details

"Did he use the phone to build the site or was that someone else? If he managed to code a phishing site entirely on a phone smuggled into jail, the man is a genius with very small fingers and a future of RSI."

Word --convert to HTML -- sorted!

If folks can fall for phishing, then a Word-built site will fool them, no problems.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Watch the post

I'm not sure that the 'Waldo Jeffers' method has been all that succesful.

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Short circuit at Large Hadron Collider slows return to matter-mauling

Elmer Phud
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Delayed?

It can't be delayed!

Having consulted my Spirit Guide I was assured that the End Of The World [tm] was happening this week.

I've got £200 on it ffs!!

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Frayed British Airways plays down mega hack attack on frequent flyer accounts

Elmer Phud
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Turd Party

It's so comforting to know that security is at the forefront when extra revenue is concerned.

I expect more and more of these 'I wasn't us it was . . .' excuses for assuming that everyone plus dog is spending out on security rather than harvesting.

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Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults

Elmer Phud
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Ben

Ben Kingsley should have reprised his Don Logan.

A right evil fucker and no mistake -- one of the most sacry things to come to the screen.

Lecter? -- 'kin lightweight!

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