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* Posts by Elmer Phud

3187 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

UK.gov sinks another £1.6m into Internet of Stuff spec HyperCat

Elmer Phud
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Pirate

Re-inventing the wheel

" the HyperCat specification will unlock the full potential of the internet of things by creating a world wide web for machines"

Why not just buy the standard scamware off the shelf? It's not as if there aren't already some superb products available where machines are connected together even though the meatware doesn't know.

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The Register to boldly go where no Vulture has gone before: The WEEKEND

Elmer Phud
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Very nice

Something for the weekend, Sir?

Will there be some pull-out stickers in a series of images of LOHAN?

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Re: 70s pop star?

"Taking the odd picture as a memento at a concert is almost unavoidable"

See icon

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Elmer Phud
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Re: heard similar please before

"This wasn't a trick, the recorders were allowed to run and the fans came back and collected them after the gig."

They also gave public approval to anyone whose personal recording was better than thiers.

The world is flooded with Dead bootlegs, but some of them are superb.

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Elmer Phud
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"Maybe if she wears a mini skirt."

Multiple choice -- you choose the first word, the second one is 'off'.

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Gigantic toothless 'DRAGONS' dominated Earth's early skies

Elmer Phud
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Holmes

Re: No teeth = excellent flyer

"Remember the small hands of T. rex? What use were they for?"

Keeping a decent hand of cards close.

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e-Borders fiasco: Brits stung for £224m after US IT giant sues UK govt

Elmer Phud
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Makes a change

Usually it's a UK IT project that goes titsup -- this one looks really cheap for once.

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'Chinese crims' snatch 4.5 MILLION patient files from US hospitals

Elmer Phud
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"To whom do these assholes direct this stuff?"

Shareholders -- is there anybody else they actually care about?

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Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?

Elmer Phud
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Dragone

If Dragons tend to speak remarkably like Mr Connery(I've seen it on telly so it's true) they may have moved to somewhere with more advantageous tax regime.

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Elmer Phud
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Rising spectre

Was ectoplasm involved?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Plans for dragon attack

"All staff are required to complete at least 50 hours of mandatory Skyrim and are prepared to deal with incidents involving Dragons, Trolls and Giants. Your council - Working Hard for You!"

Yeah, yeah -- we know damned well that those supposed 'radar' domes are actually where the M.O.D. house our very own attack Unicorns.

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The Return of BSOD: Does ANYONE trust Microsoft patches?

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

There's No Pleasing Some People

They moan in droves about W8 not being like 'the old days' and then not beng like W7 -- and when MS fixes it for that real ol'-time leagacy feel the ungrateful gits complain!

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Cargo truck crammed with garbage explodes IN SPAAAAACE

Elmer Phud
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Alert

Space Junk

Some older people may remember a little band called 'Devo'

"A soviet sputnik hit Africa

India, Venezuela, in Texas, Kansas

It's falling fast Peru too

It keeps coming, it keeps coming, it keeps coming"

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Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

Elmer Phud
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Re: YOLO...

It's a bleedin' fish, innit.

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Google hops into bed with Brit red-top: Cooks up 'draw an app' coding compo for kids

Elmer Phud
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Re: Doesn't bode well...

unless they are total Minecraft nuts who are building processors and are about to pwn the internet - but only in daytime.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: I'm just amazed...

"Didn't they have a countdown a few years ago, ticking off the days until some 15 year old was old enough . . ." to shag.

Yes, Charlotte Church (might not have been the Scum but same lowlife pondslime scumsuckers)

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Elmer Phud
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Same again?

Once upon a time pupils were encouraged to go for 'business studies' as that would make them all in to rich little entrepeneurs.

Those going into insolvency parctices did well out if it.

Looks like the same is happening now, one or three people make a mint out of apps and it's yee-ha! goldrush time.

And those who did best out of the goldrush were not usually the prospectors.

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Spin doctors crack 'impossible' asteroid hurtling towards Earth

Elmer Phud
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Re: The 29th century?

" Bruce Willis might not be available."

There's some hope then.

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Dolby Atmos is coming home and it sounds amazing

Elmer Phud
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Pass

I'm going to have to pass on this one as well.

Where would I put the crap that lives on top of the speakers?

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Vulture 2 spaceplane brain surgery begins with remote incision

Elmer Phud
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Standard support

"Tridge is in Canberra, but that didn't stop him getting inside the Pixhawk via OpenVPN, while chatting to Linus on Skype."

So, so familiar, remote diagnostics - 'Press the power button down for a bit longer . . . '

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Just when you thought you were alone in the bath: Hi-res mapping satellite ready for launch

Elmer Phud
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how long before . . .

. . . the first post of 'Hey, mine's so big you can see it from spaaaaace!'

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One in 12 Tweeps are bots

Elmer Phud
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A breath of fresh air

Well, at least a pause from the usual similar cut-n-paste Facebook comments.

What is the Next Big Thing and how long before it draws the same comments?

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You've got three days to patch Adobe Flash, Air, Reader

Elmer Phud
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I've not had that issue.

But I do check for these things when installing and also am careful where I get updates from.

But even if I forget to untick boxes I can easily rectify that by uninstalling any toolbars anyway.

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Fifteen countries KO'd in malware one-two punch

Elmer Phud
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FAIL

Re: More likley Georgia IMHO

Did you really need to shout twice?

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Crypto Daddy Phil Zimmerman says surveillance society is DOOMED

Elmer Phud
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Re: basic premise faulty?

" the people of the developed nations aren't that bothered about privacy."

You could say that not everyone uses a single means of communication.

I have a Facebook account but, like many others, would not put anything of a higher security clearance than a cat photo on there (might even edit the EXIF as well).

It's what info is placed where, how and by which account that matters - I know I leave a breadcrumb trail behind me where a bit (more than a little bit) of comparison could link three accounts that all have totally different usernames but that's not all the acccounts I have and not the only browser/mail client used.

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Facebook slurps PrivateCore - 'cos your selfies need locking up

Elmer Phud
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I guess it depends on the type of 'selfie' you take.

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'Be super careful with AI. It's potentially more dangerous than NUKES'

Elmer Phud
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Alert

AI eeee

""AI. Potentially more dangerous than nukes" "

Well, maybe it's the 'A' bit he's worried about -- with machine intellligence how can it be 'artificial'?

I'm still annoyed with Mr Banks popping his clogs, it's the 'minds' that find humans amusing that Musk is fearful of.

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Watch this Aussie infosec bod open car doors from afar

Elmer Phud
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Thumb Up

OI!

Bastard spolier!

I've not watched the vid yet and now you've gone and ruined it!

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Buzzgasm containment breach!

"Isn't "Watch this x" a classic symptom of a clickbait headline?"

I just see the same sort of stuff that seems to happen eventually with most forms of networking as they are introduced into the wild.

("Hint: If a headline tries to tell the reader what to do, or how to feel, it's clickbait shite."

and yours is any different sort of shite?)

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Yorkshire cops fail to grasp principle behind BT Fon Wi-Fi network

Elmer Phud
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Re: untold story

" a pikey neighbour"

Pikey? Really?

This is obviously an upstanding citizen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, a defender of all that is Right and Proper. A Commander of Common Sense and Decency.

He will keep these shores free from all these dastardly Romanians who will shoot our wimmin folk and rape our dogs.

A twat!

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Elmer Phud
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Re: I have to defend the police here...

"You have to question why said "busybody" complained to the police,"

Easy -- 'cos it's a Kipper who sees terrorists and muggers and thugs peeking out behind flowerpots.

Personally, I'd pay him a visit to see what illegal matertial he has stashed away.

( an empty volume of the Thoughts of Nick Griffin?)

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You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

Elmer Phud
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Flame

Re: Eek!

ukkin' spolier!

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Child diagnosed as allergic to iPad

Elmer Phud
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Applephilia

Much as I like many Apple products I don't have any.

It started out with a dislike for the way that iTunes not only 'has' to rummage through everything but that it also seems to phone home once every 15 minutes on the off-chance that there might be

another udate or advert available.

From there it was noticing that one one Apple device is bought then the rot sets in and it's not possible to live without more of the buggers.

(I'd still have them if they were given away - my pockets are not deep and I'm not that anal to refuse)

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Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Twitter and Bisted

"Now the world is moving on and job specs are shrinking further as IT infrastructure moves to the cloud, food for the bitter is getting squeezed out of the near empty toothpaste tube in the form of The Register articles."

W

T

F

?

?

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BitTorrent not to blame for movie revenues, says economist

Elmer Phud
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Value for money

Considering the cost of making a movie that is 'Episode seven' or 'Big Tough Bloke 5' then I guess that many people realise that the constant re-hashing of simple themes and then releasing what amounts to a poor follow up (ups) come a very poor second to the huge budget non- movie series.

The popularity of made for telly/net progs like Games of Thrones (no, I haven't - I read all Martin;s Space Opera stuff years ago and can't see anything really any different this time) ties audiences in to a regular spend and the ability to watch whenever and wherever they like.

Given the choice of a local sweatbox (or freezer) with leaky sound and dickheads with phones as opposed to getting some beers in and skinning up a couple in readiness, folks will prefer to stay at home (or visit a mate) and watch on a big screen with a good sound system instead.

There are many movies that are 'BIG' visual productions but they easily lose thier attraction after the fourth huge orange explosion accompanied with CGI debris that comes right at you.

Me, I'm about to spend out on the South Park game which will last a lot longer than 1:45 for not much more of an outlay.

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SpaceX FINALLY lobs six sats into orbit (don't mention the landing)

Elmer Phud
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"lost hull integrity"

Why not just say 'it sunk'?

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Beer in SPAAAACE! London Pride soars to 28,000m

Elmer Phud
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Pint

Re: Waste of a good pint if you ask me

Water is quite a pleasant beer - had some a while back in Derbyshire.

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Elmer Phud
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Pint

Re: Legonaut!?!?

Or concerned about the possible saving of weight?

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Insecure AVG search tool shoved down users' throats, says US CERT

Elmer Phud
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Re: @Stuart Longland

"The problem is that you seem to want something for free when it actually costs something to build."

So we are supposed to pay for those little things that enable us to use thier products - little things that they give away for free? (and tell the world we can't exist without them)

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Doctor Who season eight scripts leak online

Elmer Phud
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Luvverly

Can't wait to see the traffic on Facebook and Twitter where pointless threats will be whined out in public.

If folks can't hep themselves from moaning like hell and also doing thier best to search out the scripts . . .

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Comet-chasing Rosetta spies SWEATY prey

Elmer Phud
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Re: Does this mean....

" we actually flew past gallons on the way in!!"

Don't count your space chickens -- these may be U.S. gallons.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Re Bootnote

"the equivalent of two small glasses"

Hmm, need a standard for 'small glass'.

Shot glass?

Reused Nutella jar?

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New Russian law punishes online 'extremism'

Elmer Phud
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"Traditional Values"

That was enough for me, says it all.

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Saddle up for the Tour de Firmware

Elmer Phud
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Re: Frame

"As for gears has anyone tried modernising the old Sturmey Archer system with an electronic changer"

Shimano did a three speed auto jobbie some time back - saw it on a heavy-duty trade bike.

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Elmer Phud
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Facepalm

Re: Missed some

" Although not first prize as you didn't mention lycra."

Or pavements --- major fail

gets facepalm icon

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Missed some

"An airhorn doesn't shift some numpties who utterly ignore bells. Trust me, I've tried!"

Yup, even the fully-pumped wide-open Air Zounds is somehow 'ignored' at times.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: What a waste . . .

"Indeed, all this talk of carbon fibre and titanium for a 5% improvement is nuts. Far better to put your money into silver solder and a 60's Celestion Blue or a set of Fanes."

Absolute rubbish!

A decent ride cymbal that cuts like a guillotine through the rest of the noise that guitarists make is what you need!

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Retiring Reg hack explains how bass playing = tech reporting

Elmer Phud
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And that's why they are called 'Jazz cigarettes'

(well, apart from the old racist overtones, that is)

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Elmer Phud
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WTF?

"Peavey? Dude . . ."

Yes, quite - Peavey?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Bass Players, Blues and writing

"with all this electronic drum & Bass crap we are subject to these days. "

I have more years than you but it seems I am less old than you.

(aged gray and balding drummer - loves Dubstep)

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