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* Posts by Elmer Phud

3349 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?

Elmer Phud
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Happy

Re: But maths IS fun!

I can't do much more than very basic maths -- it's just the way that my head works.

But, I love the way that maths works, how numbers work - or how bloody weird numbers can behave.

I can't see the beauty in equations but I can see Fibonacci in plants and galaxies.

So, you lot with maths can do the painting and I'll look at the artwork you produce.

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Elmer Phud
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Fun?

When the word 'fun' is used as an attempt to get young people interested in something, they usually run in the opposite direction having learned from adults that the 'f' word is usually used as a bribe.

Anyway, there seems to be a drive from HM.Gov. for all+dog to get in to 'apps' (whatever that means). Apps seem to be the Next Big Thing to make your fortune - just look at those milionaire teenagers - a possible con trick as there are a hell of a lot of apps written but few actually making any serious dosh in comparison.

How about some scientists instead of possible appearances on The Apprentice?

As suggested in the article, it takes more than laying a few bricks to build things.

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Twitter 'news' spreads faster than Ebola #FakeCures #Malware

Elmer Phud
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As Expected

"The hoaxes began in the Twittersphere "

Hashtags are nice little lures.

But, but -- what happned to the deposit from Satan's own anus -- Facebook?

Has Twitter now taken over as the main way to catch prey?

Where will the next title of Beelzebub's Bottom offerings be attatched?

(insert here a load of guff about 'I don't have' and other such gems about 'douchebags')

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Facebook doubles ad-hacking bounty

Elmer Phud
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Well, get on with it!

A post yesterday from a 'friend' was the usual 'Raybans' spam.

A plaintive 'I didn't post that' came soon after the usual jibes and requests asking why the sunglasses and not the 'meet ladies' spam.

There are also closed groups that are still getting spam from outside the group - but there is a lot less that there used to be.

*'friend' -- actually a friend but the spam poster?

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Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

Elmer Phud
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Re: i.amPULS

Spell checker not working?

"Will.i.am gets CUFFED "

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Is living with Dolby Atmos worth the faff?

Elmer Phud
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Re: Dear Santa

Santa, while yer at it can I have a home big enough for a decent sound rig?

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Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy

Elmer Phud
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Re: incorrect value in register

I can only suggest you visit You Tube to assist with your research - a small clip from a film by Mr Tarantino : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUfel9sU-KI

(NSFW if you have the sound up)

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Ancient Brits 'set wealthy man's FANCY CHARIOT on FIRE' – boffins

Elmer Phud
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That reminds me . . .

... years ago when bits of Kings Cross still had poor people in council flats, I spotted a 'new' Porche that had been parked outside a block of flats.

Some kind soul had done a custom paint job by apparently walking from one end of the car to the other - on the top of the car - and doing a Jackson Pollock on the way.

When the locals can only afford a beat-up Astra, don't take the piss.

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Virgin Media DOUBLE-PUNCHED by BSkyB AND BT over ad fibs

Elmer Phud
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Re: up-to: the scurge of advertisement.

"I've not understood to this day why BT et all are able to advertise their broadband using the up-to slogan."

They only guarantee the speed at the exchange - after that there are many reasons why speed drops.

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Elmer Phud
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I've got FTTC - then an O/H in copper.

What pees me off is that there is another green box really close to me but under the rules - despite all the cables ending up at the same place - BT are not allowed to use it.

With Speedtest I get a better ping from Germany than a server five miles up the road.

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Bono apologises for iTunes album dump

Elmer Phud
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Re: compensation

"Given that this landed you with data on your computer you didn't authorise, there could even be a shade of Computer Misuse Act in this .."

But it's Apple -- it's not your device.

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Philip Morris seeks pay-per-puff patent to help you STOP smoking

Elmer Phud
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Re: Once again the drug dealers attempt ...

Oh, great -- I illustrate the way that children are encouraged to take up inhaling nicotine by copying thier 'betters' and some junkie slags me off.

Moron me?.

Let's see you with out your 'vape' for a day and watch you climb the walls.

but you are addressing someone who was once on Capstan and Woodbine - there is no bullshit from me, and I'm not even a reformed addict.

YOU ARE STILL A JUNKIE -- or 'person of habit' as you may prefer.

This is not about 'freedom' but addiction though mimicking those who don't realise the way they behave when inhaling.

Vaping is 'cool'?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Don't forget

Which is why world+dog are selling them.

Make a mint before the game is up.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: prior art?

Assisted Addiction, well done.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Once again the drug dealers attempt ...

(e-cigs are just a nicotine delivery system, and not an answer ... )

Thanks -- when kids see an adult use a fake-fag and look releived once the nicotine hits the system then they get the hint that these plastic straws are worth investigating.

The makers of fake-fags do not want anyone to give up - that's why they are selling an addictive drug.

Keep puffing and telling yourself you are breaking the habit while showing al the signs of a junkie.

Now ask why the biggest increase in the market is for 12 to 16 yr olds.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Brought to you

"I wasn't aware that any Morris car made anyone look cool"

Bloke round our way used to love working on Minors (of the Morris Motors sort).

His trade vehicle was a six-wheel stretch Traveller and his personal runabout was a pink Morris Minor with a Rover V6 under the bonnet.

Cools as . . . .

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Kmart apologizes to customers after month-long security breach

Elmer Phud
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Security?

"We've got armed guards at the doors, isn't that enough?

They cost plenty - we can't go round throwing money at everything that is a 'security' isssue, can we?

It's a hard world, we have to make some sacrifices here and there to retain a competitive profile"

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Elmer Phud
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Re: The biggest surprise to me

"Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?"

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10 Top Tips For PRs Considering Whether To Phone The Register

Elmer Phud
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Life Skills

Not slamming the phone down (if you actually have time to spare) on the 'my name is' callers can be fun.

It's a bit of a giveaway when they do not tell you the company they are supposedly calling on behalf of.

I go in to 'Witness Mode' which is where I see how long I can keep them on my 'doorstep' before they give up or are rescued by a colleague.

The biggest clue is 'I'm not trying to sell you anything' - which is where I ask why they are calling in the first place as I asssume they are calling to offer me some sort of service which will entail me parting with money, after that more questions from me while they they to think of answers that are not on the script.

Thnk of it as a reverse-troll call.

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'MYSTERIOUS PYRAMID STRUCTURE' found on COMET beyond Mars: Landing planned

Elmer Phud
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Alert

Pyramid?

Bugger, now there will be claims from the mystic megs that it's foretold in heiroglypics and that it's Plague of Locusts time again.

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BEND IT like YOGA: Newest Lenovo gadgets have built in PROJECTORS

Elmer Phud
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Re: Subwoofer?

Has anyone tried a really flat sub that takes up the underside of a device yet?

A little bit of extra depth for a lot more bass.

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Tesla's Elon Musk shows the world his D ... and it's a MONSTER

Elmer Phud
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Re: I dont get it.

"Or did I miss something?"

You could start by considering all the electricity used at a filling station - the brightly lit oasis of the motorway.

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Three UK fined £250,000 for customer complaints COCKUP

Elmer Phud
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Re: If you have a problem...

Higher up?

I remember a huge office full of peeps dealing with such emails.

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Re-light my diode: Trio of boffins scoop physics Nobel for BLUE LEDs

Elmer Phud
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Beware of seemingly low-cost gifts

On a FB (yes, I know) group someone was recounting thier experience as main sparks at a festival.

The festival peeps were happy as pigs in shit about the way that LEDs had broken through for stage lighting but there was so much cheap Chinese LED lighting designed purely for output that old fashioned things like PF correction had been ignored.

In order to re-balance the loads the sparks had to set up about 50kw of extra loading to keep the generators happy..

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Dot-gay told it's NOT gay enough – but web'll be officially .eco-friendly

Elmer Phud
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but isn't it 'iDiot'?

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Woman says narco-cops used her PICS to snare drug lords on Facebook

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

You know I'm bad, I'm bad

Chamon motherfuckers -- eeee heee.

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Adobe spies on readers: 'EVERY page you turn, EVERY book you own' leaked back to base

Elmer Phud
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Re: A Night At The Opera

There ain't no sanity clause

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Big racks? Pah. Storage boffins have made a BIONIC BRAIN material

Elmer Phud
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Re: As a word...

No

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Dear Reg readers. I want Metro tiles to replace ALL ICONS in Windows. Is this a good idea?

Elmer Phud
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Re: Statistical Observation

Oi!

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Our Vultures peck at new Doctor Who: Exterminate or, er ... carrion?

Elmer Phud
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Re: Most Unnecessary Character is...

Ooh, can't to that -- you never know, maybe the Doctor fancies Danny.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Clara Oswald... old or unattractive... utterly absurd

"Maybe it's stretching a point, but by that measure he may consider someone as young as Oswald to be 'old'... or maybe he's just clowning around!"

Maybe this Doctor just doesn't fancy humans.

I mean, you'd save a sack of drowning puppies but you might not want to take them home and have them crap everywere.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Above criticism

"Maybe to get a bit of Register luvvin' all the Doctor has to do is dump his sonic screwdriver and whip out his Raspberry Pi."

Depends on whether the Pi exists in the same universe as the Doctor, Squire.

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Biz coughs up even less for security, despite mega breach losses

Elmer Phud
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Re: Yes

and the longer they talk, the further away the incident was and the available money grows smaller.

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Want to see the back of fossil fuels? Calm down, hippies. CAPITALISM has an answer

Elmer Phud
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Re: Tim's hopes for solar and wind are doomed

Hard to get the virgins these days, Squire.

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That PERSONAL DATA you give away for free to Facebook 'n' pals? It's worth at least £140

Elmer Phud
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Facepalm

Blimey

Have people actually filled in all the fields?

And with real info?

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Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

Elmer Phud
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Re: testing procedure.

"I felt much shame as a techie when i had to google how to turn off my god damn (win8) computer :("

Techie?

Never tried alt-F4?

Or alt/cntl/del to bring up the Task Mangler?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Windows 10?

Back to the future -- Windows 1.0

(on floppies)

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Elmer Phud
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Re: What about Windows 9?

Maybe they didn't want people to go:

"Windows? Nien!"

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A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

Elmer Phud
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Not sure but I think it was one of Michael Marshall Smith's characters that had an alarm clock following him about.

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Hey Brit taxpayers. You just spent £4m on Central London ‘innovation playground’

Elmer Phud
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Binary Trebuchet?

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Scrapping the Human Rights Act: What about privacy and freedom of expression?

Elmer Phud
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Hate Preachers

I assume that Aunty Terry means all hate preachers are to be locked up.

Those wonderful EDL/BNP and, it seems, a great many high-profile Kippers -- will they also be expecting a knock at the door?

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Pizza stores popped, sandwich stores sacked in PoS plunder

Elmer Phud
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Old advert

I can't remember the actual card itself but:

"(Insert name of card) says more about you than cash ever can"

It is those numerous 'little purchases' with cards that are forgotten immediatley, the coffee, the small snack - that are great to target as the customer just wants to drink or eat.

Sometimes when you pay with cash you get an odd look from behind the till as if you're doing somethig wrong.

When the 'Bonk to Pay' terminals get pwnd then there's a lot of details to be had --- quickly and easily.

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FAA clears SWARM of MOVIE DRONES for take-off

Elmer Phud
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Jeff Noon

"''The air of Manchester is alive with burbflies, automated advertisements chanting their slogans. loudest of all is for Domino Bones, the new lottery game."

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Tearful LOHAN Playmonaut bids adiós to Spain

Elmer Phud
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Black Helicopters

Visa?

How did you manage to get a visa to the U.S. for the Playmonaut?

We've seen some very wild pictures on here.

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Elmer Phud
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Re: Chthonic!!

But it tends to make divining rods droop and crystals go all blurry.

As for the fairies and Angels that use Ley Lines as air trafffic control . . .

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Elmer Phud
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Pint

Re: Infrastructure

There are protocol issues here.

You can't transmit Guinness as fast as say, the Fosters packets.

Would I need another plug-in for my browser to add blackcurrant or lime (or considering the space in lager packets) all the toppings can be sent at the same time and just filtered at the other end?

What protection will consumers have from a build-up of gasses caused by many bitters?

Will we suffer from having the sink-tap venting abut two hoours after the beer is poured?

Can micro-breweries be connected using wet-string?

I'm gettng thirsty - hurry up!

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Elmer Phud
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Meanwhile in London ...

Bastard!

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Elmer Phud
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ALEX ?

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Elmer Phud
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Flame

Re: it makes sense - We're Only Making Plans For Nigel

"when you could pump it directly from the bowels of the earth to the pub"

Invade Belgium - NOW!!!!

Belgians have been terrorising honest, decent upstanding British (but not you bastard Scots) people for far too long, this tyrrany should be stopped at once!!

We, of the once United Klingondoms, are ready to send in as many of other countries troops as is required.

The threat of an increase in power of this beer-rich country has already decimated house prices.

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FBI: Your real SECURITY TERROR? An ANGRY INSIDE MAN

Elmer Phud
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and meantime . . .

. . . in other parts of the same companies their customers details are being spihoned off.

'Oh dear, it won't happen again, honest. We caught it before it could do any real damage'

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