* Posts by Elmer Phud

3774 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

Tossed all your snaps into the new Google Photos? You read the terms, right? ... RIGHT?

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Sooooo . . . . what's new?

Does anyone read the T&C's on any photo site?

Have people not yet grasped that 'free' often comes with sub-clauses?

You bung stuff on a someone's server and they have a price for the priviledge.

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High-flying LOHAN fan raises ale-filled tankard

Elmer Phud
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"There is a single sample left-handed version, which is now dispensing liquid refreshment to El Reg's Drew Cullen, who is of a sinister persuasion:"

Call us 'sinister' if you like -- but just remember who gets asked to open jars.

It may be a bit gauche but there y'go.

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BRAIN STORM: Nine mislaid cerebra found near railway line in New York

Elmer Phud
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So, which city will have the next body part appearing?

We've had a heart left in San Francisco and now brains in New York.

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Sex disease surge in US state partly blamed on hook-up apps

Elmer Phud
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Re: Just an idea ......

Net Nanny Nookie -- a slip between the sheets of the A/V and you've got a virus.

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The 'echo chamber' effect misleading people on climate change

Elmer Phud
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To Boff or not to Boff

"We have not used the word "boffin" in this article as the researchers involved - sociologists, and as such from the soft-studies sector - do not qualify for that noble appellation."

Thank you for keeping in mind that to be a Boffin you need a pipe and they not only billow out clouds of poisonous smoke but also indicate the user to be a slave of Big Tobacco.

(not sure if there are enough CAPS used for it to be seen as THE TRUTH[tm])

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Echo Chamber

These users tend to choose what they see in front of them.

You still get to see stuff sent by others to you but those are there to be argued over.

I 'follow' Britain Furst and don't feel that Britain First have influenced me (other than firming up my belief they are useless tools of the highest order)

Oh, you also used 'dumbing down' -- now, what influenced you to use that phrase, where did you get it from?

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Google I/O FORTRESS: Sold-out dev conference is in LOCKDOWN

Elmer Phud
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Securitai

Need to get in to the conference? - Google have gone for two-stage identification for meatware

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Crafty fingering could let Apple Watch thieves raid your bank account

Elmer Phud
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Re: I think...

There is a joke in there somewhere - the usual sniping at iUsers and 'one off the wrist'.

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Split decision: Asus Transformer Book T300 Chi convertible

Elmer Phud
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Proper review for once!

"I also ran Crysis. At full screen 1200x1600 and medium detail it played perfectly."

Sorted!

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WOODEN computer chips reveal humanity's cyber elf future

Elmer Phud
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Coat

Some you win,

cellulose

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NASA sending five-metre THERMO-HAMMER to Mars

Elmer Phud
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Re: InSight?

"I reckon it's IEUSIGAHT"

is that Scots or Irish Gaelic for 'insight'?

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Microsoft to TAKE OUT THE TRASH in the Windows Store

Elmer Phud
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Re: Has El Reg employed F7 as Editor-in-chief?

Nah, AMFM is far easier to comprehend.

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This $199 home air-quality gizmo will tell you to VOC right off

Elmer Phud
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Quick! Panic!

And the alarm goes off and then what? Does this 'device' do anything other than increase FUD?

Fekking proper New Age woo machine, is what it is.

I don't get any more annoying bleeps from the CO detector since I took the battery out . . .

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Queen's Speech: Snoopers' Charter RETURNS amid 'modernisation' push

Elmer Phud
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Measures will also be brought forward to promote social cohesion

Too right it will.

Most of the country is now getting interested in encryption VPN's.

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Elon Musk's SpaceX: Now we help do SURVEILLANCE for the SPOOKS

Elmer Phud
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Hmmm. . .

At this rate we'll soon have enough material orbiting the planet to make Dyson sphere -- all we need is our own little sun.

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UK surveillance commish asks CCTV operators to please be good

Elmer Phud
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Re: Quick point

"I'm a cop in Scotland"

Do you not think that without a drastic slashing of number of cops then maybe we might not need so many cameras?

Also, there is the small question of cheap booze and 'happy' hours . . .

You are merely regarding trying to handle the consequences of poor government, which does nothing to deal with the initial problems.

(I realise that for many years the police have been objecting to severe cuts and that any police union is not supposed to strike -- you are just being given a shovel and told to move the shit from A to B)

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Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

Elmer Phud
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Let's get something else sorted out first

Before we weigh in to these who insist on the sky pilot version of reality, I think all the various parties who have other ideas ought to fight it out -- the rest of us get to argue with the winner.

First up -- Mr Ham v's Mr Cruise.

Once we've got the 'sky pilot/aliens with big tits' thing out of the way thisng will become a lot clearer.

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Android ransomware poses as FBI smut warning

Elmer Phud
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"Your devices has been locked" (innit, bruv)

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Do svidaniya Roscosmos. By the way, any idea where that 92 BEEELLION rubles went?

Elmer Phud
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Well,

someone had to pay for the winter Olympics . . .

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Boffins silently track train commuters without tripping Android checks

Elmer Phud
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Jiggy Jiggy

"Morning, it seems your trip to work was a bit bumpier than usual, slow signals?"

"nah, kept me trousers on at half-mast"

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Chap mines Bitcoin with PUNCH CARDS and ancient mainframe

Elmer Phud
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Duh!

"I can't see any other reason for this"

'Cos we is curious monkeys is why (Jeez, next 'why do we play games?)

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India to Russia: 'Sod you, Vlad, we're going to the moon ALONE'

Elmer Phud
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Big picture?

It's effin' IMAX he missed FFS!

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Putting your schlong into the reel-to-reel tape machine is a bad idea

Elmer Phud
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CRACKERJACK!!!!

He started it . . .

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Virtual reality pr0n on the Rift? 'Why not?' says Oculus founder

Elmer Phud
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Monkey spanking specs or Bishop bashing bins?

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YouTube Kids 'showed nippers how to make nooses, play with fire'

Elmer Phud
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What's noose?

I show kids that a noose is just a posh slip knot.

It's funny how playing with bits of rope is boring to them until you absentmindely knock up a noose while idly chatting.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Whats up doc?

There are the rather iffy cartoons from WW2 -- Bugs being very anti-Japanese.

Violence though-- Wabbit season, Duck season.

I still find that sequence funny -- then there's the one where Bugs is the artist and Daffy the drawing . . .

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Jay-Z freestyle attack on Tidal's rivals leaked to Tidal's rivals

Elmer Phud
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Nah, he's just bitching

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LOHAN's final test flight set to honour PRATCHETT

Elmer Phud
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Re: GNU Terry Pratchett

The turtle moves

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Microsoft celebrates 25 years' SOLITARY SELF-PLEASURE with GROUP SESSION

Elmer Phud
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Re: Being picky...

They've sorted things out a bit now.

The older one for W8 was sluggish and once a game was won on Freecell, the timer kept on until all the cards were stacked.

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Pundits ponder perilous placement of STANDING STONES on Comet 67P

Elmer Phud
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Sounds more like a bit of Discworld has broken off.

Something wrong with the latest Monolith upgrade and it went critical, sending a small chunk in to roundspace.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Space Druids

Nah, Druids in movies usually also means ladies dancing about with very little clothes on --- there can be only one for the job -- Veerhoven. never a frame without a gratuitous nipple.

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Airplane HACK PANIC! Hold on, it's surely a STORM in a TEACUP

Elmer Phud
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No

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Violin acknowledges Valley's hippy roots with Grateful Dead gig lottery

Elmer Phud
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Just a Box of Rain

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The yummy mummies' likeable wagon: Nissan Qashqai Tekna

Elmer Phud
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Re: Kumquat

The KashKai has the opposite of the Audi's spatial expander - drivers seem to think they are far wider than the cars actually are.

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Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

Elmer Phud
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I'd say as long as there's no Binks everything should be fine

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Starbucks denies mobile app hack, blames careless customers

Elmer Phud
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Tested?

In all that bold text from Starbucks not once did they say anything about having the app tested.

Plenty of blather about 'personal' security and 'we're sure it's youre fault'.

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BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS

Elmer Phud
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Re: So now ....

Next project is rocking horse poo.

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Attack of the possibly-Nazi clone parakeet invaders

Elmer Phud
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Re: A Final Solution?

We expect to see it on these pages soon -- and with the apporopriate boffin pipe.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Lots of 'em in Spain...

Magpies in Blighted seem to be good at keeping the parakeets away.

A parakeeet roost nearby but very rarely seen due to local magpies, the crows don't particularly ike them, either.

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RAF radar station crew begs public for cash to buy gaming LAN kit

Elmer Phud
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Cheeky

This is just for training purposes.

A ruse to get the public to fund drone training and simialr.

Games, my arse.

I read Last Starfighter, I know what it's all about.

(Where the F is the tin-foil hat icon?)

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BONKERS apocalyptic WAR WAGONS circle Vulture South

Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Re: The stereo system

Please be assured that all cables and connectors are made of the highset quailty 'Sawyoucomingium'and plated with 'Takethepissium'

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What the BLEEP? BitTorrent's secure messaging app arrives

Elmer Phud
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Black Helicopters

"BitTorrent reckons the time is right for Bleep"

Considering the recent announcement from Aunty Theresa, not a moment too soon.

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Amstrad founder Lord Sugar quits 'anti-enterprise' Labour party

Elmer Phud
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Re: Hmm

"Hence I voted UKIP."

Shirley - 'hence I'm posting as A/C'

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Mildly successful flying car crashes - in mildly successful test flight

Elmer Phud
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Re: an unexpected situation

Yup, this bit interested me "the machine has been certified by the Federation of Ultra-Light Flying, nested under the Slovak Civil Aviation Authority." -- along with many mentions of 'test flight'.

Still undergoing test flights and already certified? Certified as what - potential brick?

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You say you want a musical revolution. Actually, have three

Elmer Phud
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Re: 1983 synthesisers!

Ahem . . .

"The Moog synthesizer gained wider attention in the music industry after it was demonstrated at the Monterey International Pop Festival in 1967"

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FTC slaps orders on alleged diet pill spamvertising scam scum

Elmer Phud
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Re: Youlgreave

It adds that ring of confidence.

(Endorsed by Hilary Briss of Royston Vasey)

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Going up hills past blokes with coke-bottle legs: The Smart E-bike

Elmer Phud
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A whole bike?

Someone I know has a rear wheel with a lecccy hub built in.

It's got all the usual smartphone stuff, too.

He had the wheel built to suit is bike.

Cheaper than a whole new machine.

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Malfunctioning Russian supply podule EXPLODES above Pacific

Elmer Phud
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We would like to aplogise for the non-delivery of your order.

It appears the courier company vehicle experienced a major breakdown in a remote area and a replacement vehicle was not available.

Please accept these vouchers as a gesture of goodwill while we endeavour to fulfil your order.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Stressful

You know, that sounds like the morning after a decent paarty.

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Traumatised Reg SPB team barely survives movie unwatchablathon

Elmer Phud
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Friday night movies

Many years ago Channel 4 showed B movies at about the time you'd get back from the pub (they closed at 11 them days!).

Kettle on, skin up and settle down for some really awful entertainment.

I applaud the team for thier outstanding efforts without any chemical assistance.

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