* Posts by Elmer Phud

3882 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

Gay emojis? GAY EMOJIS?! Not here in Russia, comrade

Elmer Phud
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Presumably . . .

the approved emoji's will be themed on a group of lovely people taunting and torturing and generally assulting gays (or anyone they think 'looks' gay.)

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Windows 10: Buy cheap, buy twice, right? Buy FREE ... buy FOREVER

Elmer Phud
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Upgrades?

some of us remember the heady days of W98 and others -- where every single update needed a reboot or three just to get the Registry to agree with the rest of the system.

(I've loaded a old crossword maker from W98 days to W8.1 and it's fine)

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El Reg touches down at the ESA's Spanish outpost, sniffs around

Elmer Phud
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Re: Ta

Am slightly disappointed that none of the boffins there took the opportunity of wearing the full official regalia - even though it was to hand.

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Elmer Phud
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Pint

Ta

A great Friday afternoon read - have one of these:

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ATTACK of the ZOMBIE SATELLITE: Run radio hams, run!

Elmer Phud
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'kin typical

Some Merkin goes on holiday and spoils it for everyone by SHOUTING ALL THE TIME

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Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

Elmer Phud
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Re: My wife told me that today....

Come on, tell us.

No beating about the bush.

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Bloke cuffed for blowing low-flying camera drone to bits with shotgun

Elmer Phud
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Re: 40mm Glock

Yes

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Windows 10: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE to Microsoft's long apology for Windows 8

Elmer Phud
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I'm betting that most won't as the largest seperate storage medium they will have is a 16gb USB stick.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: I've reserved mine...

Doncha worry, I'm sure someone will be along soon with a front-end for W10 that looks like Vista - or even Windows286.

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Elmer Phud
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Flame

I'm disgusted!

It's 9 am on release day and I do not have W10!!!!

This is a total failure by M$hit to deliver on thier promises.

And once it does arrive I will hate it for not being something else!

I will not stand for this arrogance from the Illuminati!

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World-beating TWO-QUADRILLION-WATT LASER fired by boffins

Elmer Phud
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Boffin

Pure Science!

If a device fails to start up the way it ought to -- hit the bugger harder!

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BT broadband in broad-based brownout and TITSUP incidents

Elmer Phud
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But

But BT run various systems to automatically localise where faults are happening and point to the major cause.

Oh, it's only for engineer's is it?

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Biometric behavioural profiling: Fighting that password you simply can't change

Elmer Phud
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But . . .

I have rather clumsy fingers and a touch of Dys-something or other -- And a keyboard that often double triggers due to my tendency to having the delicate touch of an Acme anvil.

I'm constantly buggering up passwords, having a few goes at them.

I just wonder how much analysis would be needed to find a pattern that wouldn't go 'wtf?'

I do have a physical pattern for two passwords but I doubt if the analysis could tell which fingers I'm using.

No, I won't use one of them password keepers as companies have a tendency to fail or be bought out.

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Hurrah! Windfarms produce whopping ONE PER CENT of EU energy

Elmer Phud
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Re: Why's this a story?

Eventually folks will realise that therre still doesn't appear to be an easy and cheap way of dealing with waste from nuclear power or from dismantling old power stations.

They are still faffing about with excuses as to why not a lot has been done about Windscale and other plants.

At some time, the lump under the carpet wil begin to trip people up.

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We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

Elmer Phud
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All around the world and I, I, I, cant find my . . .

" Windows search was still indexing, and a message “We’re getting search ready” appeared above the results. How it can take several hours to index fewer than 100 Start menu apps is another Microsoft mystery, "

It's indexing the internet and won't be happy until it's done.

(though it may index the internet faster than Vista on a local drive)

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Sneaky students parade their bulging racks for Big Iron cluster daddies

Elmer Phud
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Kids, eh?

Show and Tell has gone up in the world.

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SPLAT! STAR THWACKED, GUTS flung into space at 15 per cent of LIGHTSPEED

Elmer Phud
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Hoist the sails me lads!

15% of the speed of light, shame to waste those winds

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Now car hackers can bust in through your motor's DAB RADIO

Elmer Phud
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Re: and people really want

" Job done country is absolutely completely crippled."

This is easily avoided with a new car accessory.

The older style vinyl rain covers are now wired with a fine alloy mesh -- tin-foil hats just got bigger!

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Want longer battery life? Avoid the New York Times and The Grauniad

Elmer Phud
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Graun Groan

The Grauniad site occasionaly moans at me for blocking ads.

But, as with things like Facebook,, the only way to make these sites sensible is to block ads.

Doesn't like Ghostery, either.

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Boffins sting spooks with 'HORNET' onion router

Elmer Phud
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Re: Should've googled before they named this..?

and not mis-spell as 'whorenet'?

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Choc Factory research shows users just don't get security

Elmer Phud
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Password managers

I still have issues with trusting a company with all my passwords -- not that they might be hacked but on the chance that the company goes bust overnight.

Not that that is likely to happen, yes/no?

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US Census Bureau IT systems hacked, data leaked by Anonymous

Elmer Phud
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Re: This is precisely why...

When the biggest culprits are those in charge . . .

Where are you going to build such a long wall?

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Arctic ice EMBIGGENS, returns to 1980s levels of cap cover

Elmer Phud
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Re: This should be good

Do you mean:

"Yes, but what Jesus fails to see is it's the meek that causes the problem"

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Google dumps ISP email support. Virgin Media takes ball, stomps home

Elmer Phud
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Good Luck

"“This is an in-house platform built in conjunction with our parent company Liberty Global, utilising several specialist third parties to deliver various elements of the solution," "

It's that second bit that could be fun.

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More Apple Car mutterings: Cupertino slurps more autobiz brains

Elmer Phud
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Re: Name

Underneath iPeel is iPith

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Elmer Phud
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Re: C'mon, Lads!

Don't be silly!

It's only the cars that will be affected.

Everyone else will need rectangular boxes to be driven in.

But it's more the smug owner saying 'no-one can break in to this' while the backdoor is opened and the stereo nicked that I find is missing so far.

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UK.gov makes total pig's ear of attempt to legalise home CD ripping

Elmer Phud
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Re: So...

No, but if you used iTunes and then moved them to the NAS or bunged them on your iPhone you're a naughty boy.

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An EPIC picture of Earth, sunny side up, from one MEEELLION miles out

Elmer Phud
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Re: @Doctor Syntax

I remember seeing L7 on telly a while back . . .

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Are you a Tory-voting IT contractor? Congrats! Osborne is hiking your taxes

Elmer Phud
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Re: Well

No, Osborne has stated quite clearly that any tax increases will go directly to the future kitty.

The one he will demonise some people and bankrupt others to fill.

Where in the budget did it say anything about increasng welfare as a whole figure?

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Elmer Phud
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The biggest gain is the ability for Ministers to constantly trot out the lie that there are more people in work. Zero-hour contract is a vague promise of some work - possibly.

I wonder of one person having more than one zero-hour contract is regarded as several people in 'employment'?

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Cops baffled by 'canal corpse' that turned out to be COCONUTS

Elmer Phud
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"Big ones,

Small ones,

Some as big as yer 'ead"

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Whitehall maps out Blighty's driverless future

Elmer Phud
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Time to bin the trainset?

So, why carry on with the expensive rail link to North London (Midlands division) when the bot-cars will be soon available? The costs of HS2 just keep rising and no-one knows what they are or how far they will go. A FOI requst to the DoT resulted in:

"“I am writing to advise you that following a thorough search of our paper and electronic records, I have established that the information you requested is not held by this Department because we have no business need to estimate the cost of HS2 in 2015 prices.”"

Still, bulldoze the villages etc. but just bung in a four lane strip instead?

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Spyware-spewing Wi-Fi drone found on Hacking Team, Boeing's todo list

Elmer Phud
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They are getting there

Not much further now, drones are getting smaller, slurpy and shooty.

Jeff Noon has a good line on this:

"The blurbs are the property of the AnnoDomino Co., invented to perpetuate their messages of luck and hope beyond the normal channels.

Blurbflies are allowd to travel the streets, buzzing their adverts alive and direct to the punters.

Blurbs shall stand for Bio-Logical-Ultra-Robotic-Broadcasting-System.

Only the company shall manufacture the blurbs. Other businesses or individuals may purchase blurbs from the Company, pre-loaded with messages and armed to the teeth, for the appropriate price.

None but the company shall know the insides of a blurb.

None but the Company shall capture a blurb.

If captured, a blurb may take the necessary steps to escape."

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Russian billionaire: GET me the ALIENS ON THE PHONE. Do it NOW

Elmer Phud
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Re: ET Comment Home

Million to one chance?

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Marshall wants to turn your phone UP TO ELEVEN

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Knobs

Nice to see the return of something that is designed to collect all the fluff from yer pocket and stop working after a while.

Who the fuck wants a mobe that is sold on the reputation of a guitar amp?

Especially as the amp's main benefit to humans is distortion - not fekking clarity!

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Google robo-car in rear-end smash – but cack-handed human blamed

Elmer Phud
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Fun and games

I can't help but wonder what japes a group of cyclists can get up to by surrounding one of these things and riding alongside.

If we can ride around town developing techniques for dealing with meat-controlled vehicles, how might these be use when faced with auto-boxes?

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High Court smacks down 'emergency' UK spy bill as UNLAWFUL

Elmer Phud
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Re: Called it :)

"the Government's hasty and ill-thought . . ."

They will rush it through but in the past couple of months they've not got away so much with trying to hide the more contentious things.

When even Tories are already fed up with the slash and burn of thier own party, it looks as if maybre the initial 'fuck you all, we're in' attitude may need amending.

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TalkTalk deactivates hundreds of email accounts after legacy spam scare

Elmer Phud
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Re: Tiscali?

When you remember the Tiscali of days gone by, this comes as no surprise -- other than they are not blaming it on everone else.

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Farmer mooved after reunion with two-year fugitive cow

Elmer Phud
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At least no-one has a real beef over this

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SourceForge goes TITSUP thanks to storage fault

Elmer Phud
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Re: It's a pile of poo

More of a 'suppository' than 'repository'?

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Ad slingers beware! Google raises Red Screen of malware Dearth

Elmer Phud
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Re: Google blocks malware

Flash was back within a day --once Flash had been sorted.

(again and again and again)

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Space Station 'nauts dive for cover from flying Soviet junk

Elmer Phud
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" but it can't be both together..."

Nah, it's all quantum these days, innit.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: "including delivery charges the fuel costs nearly $10,000 per pound"

Jeez- they actually bothered to bung it over the fence?

I thought it was always left out as a temporary pissoir for dogs.

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Bloke thrown in the clink for hacking SIXTY PER CENT of Americans

Elmer Phud
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Re: Confused.

"Mines the one with the can of stella in the pocket..."

Meeting collegues on a park bench does not qualify as 'Friday beer'.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Not under THIS...

"administration."

And what would you expect under the others?

Full and open disclosure and at no fee?

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FireEye intern nailed in Darkode downfall was VXer, say the Feds

Elmer Phud
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Re: Yet more gibberish...

I was also puzzling about that.

Only able to find 4 Brits, having searched 20 countries?

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Horrifying MOCK BACON ABOMINATION grown in BUBBLING VATS as ALGAE

Elmer Phud
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Re: The horror, the horror

(Don't get me started on vegans though).

Quite right, they are before the cheese course.

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Nissan Juke Nismo RS: Family hot-hatch SUV that looks a bit like Darth Vader's hat

Elmer Phud
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Can you fit a drum kit in it?

And half a small PA sytem?

if not - pointless.

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What do you MEAN, 'Click on the thing which looks like a Mondrian?'

Elmer Phud
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Call me a cab . . .

"These days, they are able to support their specialist lack of direction and spatial awareness with the help of a GPS. But they didn’t in the mid-1990s."

These days they are far, far more accurate when getting lost.

Huge road signs are invisible, obvious cul-de-sacs are meant to be attacked at full speed.

When lost -- do not pull over to the side but stop immediately where you are and swear at the Sat Nav.

U-Turns MUST be done without hesitiation or indication, 85 point turns are preferred.

No, I don't use them -- they are just another road hazard to be negotiated whether driving, cycling or even walking (it is imperative to pull up on as much pavement as possible).

Giving brainless fools tech kit only makes them more efficient brainless fools.

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Canadian dirtbag jailed for SWAT'ing, doxing women gamers

Elmer Phud
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Nocturnal admissions

"and spent his nights gaming and ordering pizza."

and . . .

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