* Posts by Fuzzy

45 posts • joined 25 Feb 2008

Lab tech supplier redefines corporate song paradigm

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

Ah the humanity

Ah sweet merciful god Make it stop, make it stop, I’ll tell you anything, I’ll buy anything, just make the images and noise stop.

and just like the dead vulture so too is my will to live

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Levi's suffers profit meltdown in midst of SAP embrace

Fuzzy

Andersen consulting and SAP implementation go wrong

Say it isn't so. Being on the receiving end of both companies, both implementations were to say the least a "fucking Disaster" I am not surprised. byAndersen in particular who had a great sales pitch, promise everything, deliver nothing

"stabilisation Phase" ah, marketing speak for we are only now reviewing all the documentation, if there is any, on the requirements and the dlivered solution to see what went wrong or who is to blame.

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Rabbit murderer stalks Ruhr Valley

Fuzzy
Happy

Prime Suspect

Seriously are the local police that dense. Shouldn't they be looking for a short bald man who regularly wears a hunting cap with ear flaps.

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Microsoft touts trustworthy browsing with IE8

Fuzzy
Pirate

Wow I'm sold

NOT. IE8 will be compromised before it's released, the script kiddies out there will have the tools to continue what their doing today and Microturds will be caught with their collective fingers up their arses wondering what the hell went wrong.

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Judge grants Viacom 12TB of YouTube user records

Fuzzy

Ruled on the data not the format

The judge ruled on the data to hand over not the format. The only thing Goggle need to do is provide it in a commoly used format to satisfy the court. I think 3.5" floppies are still a common medium,

Love to see viacom's collective face when a cnvoy of delivery trucks roll up to deliver the 12TB of data

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Legless Swede attempts to row home

Fuzzy
Happy

@ Alan Parsons

I have to agree, though we had a magic carpet Though the magic carpet would always get us home nice and safe it required payment in memories. The problem was it appeared to always take the memories from the person who was lhe most inebriated and who had made the biggest fool of himself.

Ah memories,...or the lack of them, those were the days

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Telegraph falls to the Tw*t-O-Tron

Fuzzy
Happy

@ zargof

Yep every country has one, here in Australia it's called the pub. Nothing like having a whinge about the hot topic of the day over a cold one

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US hackette ponders jub-powered iPod

Fuzzy
Happy

This is a title

Well, I for one welcome a new eco-friendly bouncing BFB overlords.....

Hmmm. hasn't that... Sorry gotta go the missus is calling me again....

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Interstate web host foils gonzo porn baron Max Hardcore

Fuzzy

@ Chris C

Sorry chris but your comments have the element of common sense and as you know common sense and the law (or politicans) are mutually exclusive.

it is the unfortunate reality that politicans or other fringe elements feel it is their moral duty to impose their own ideals on others. Nothing changes. Whats the saying when the first law was made the first victims were common decency, common law and common sense

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Phoenix chokes on 'clumpy' Martian soil

Fuzzy
Happy

Endurance testing

The engineers need to spend some time with the Toy designers at Tonka. My son spent the better part of 2 years runnng & smashing his toy truck against everything, including brick walls, those things are indestructible.

Alternatively the first QA test any of these things should go through is the loving attention of a 3 yr old boy.

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Besuited cubicle monkey trashes office

Fuzzy
Coat

Enough already about the TPS reports

Fake or not there are some days when you just want to go postal in the office, particularly after having to deal with managers who have all the forward thinking of wheel clamps Estended lunch tyoday, i think, at the pub.

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What hell hath science wrought lately?

Fuzzy

Aussie space programme

As an Aussie that just sends chills down my spine and yes you should be scared too. I can only picture some bogan with a rusted out holden ute with a rocket strapped to the back holding a tinnie yelling out "she'll be right" I got me flannie case it goes tits up"

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Gates threatens to buy millions and millions of servers for Microsoft

Fuzzy
Gates Horns

What Bill really said

blah, blah, blah, blah,

We have seen what other companies have come up with over the past couple of years and really like their ideas. So we are going to take those ideas and completely screw them up, Fuck up the implemtnation so badly that you'll think trained monkeys are working here (or maybe we should get trained monkeys working here to at least improve things). Charge you a fortune for it and step on the neck of any company who so much as whines about us stealing their ideas

Blah, blah, blah blah

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Heathrow T5 security tackles Transformers t-shirt threat

Fuzzy
Joke

I wonder ....

If I walk into an airport with my Elmer Fudd T-shirt with the caption

"Be vwery, vwery quiet, I'm hunting Terrowists. ha.ha.ha ha."

Does give me complete access to all areas of the airport.

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Bonce-antenna education downloads foreseen in 30 years

Fuzzy
Black Helicopters

This is ROTM

First they plug you in to learn the next thing you know the amchines start using you as a power supply.

The only other possible scenario is that everyone is somehow linked together and the whole thing becomes self aware, We try to pull the plug the self named "sky-net" fights back.

No Way I'm stickin' to books thanks

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International copyright talks seek BitTorrent-killer laws

Fuzzy

There are no absolutes

I find many of the posters quite rigid in their thinking. unfortunately or fortunately the world is not black and white. If you create something that adds value to someone or something then yes you are entitled to be compensated for it. What many of these people fail to realise is that there will AlWAYS be an element in the community that will attempt to obtain these things for free If you have created something and do not expect an element of theft you are an idiot.

What they also fail to realise is that, as history has shown us, this element will always find a way around whatever barriers are put in place to stop them and the neverending cycle continues. The establishment whines again and louder new laws are passed, the fringe element invent new ways of circumventing them

What I and many others here are sick of is being confined to such archaic business models and practices considering the age we live in Will the establishment finally learn this, probably, but by then it will be too late. There are some out there such as Radiohead and NIN that are taking matters into their own hands and exploring new avenues. Whether these new models are the right ones time will tell. But the one thing I do know is that they should be applauded for their initiative, taking these first steps that the establishment are obviously too afraid to take

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The music biz's digital flops - a short history

Fuzzy

Yawn

The music industry for me has the same appeal as Lamewood.

Only a little effort is required to find great music that is freely avaialble, if you wish you can send a small donation via the authors website to show them that you appreaciate the music and effort they put into making it. I find this more worthwhile then having to pay $30 or more for a CD to find out most of it is crap.

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American auto dealer offers free handguns

Fuzzy

Distorted Reality

Am I the only one who had visions of Yosemite Sam running through a car yard yelling "I'm the rootiness tootiness Gun Slinger North, south, east and WEST of the mississippi"

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Boeing raygunship fires first blasts in ground testing

Fuzzy

FFS

I get the distinct impression that the development of ideas for future weapons involves several cases of beer and watching the austin power movies. Next thing they will be proposing is to build a bigger version of this on the moon and calling it a "death star". Complete with an experimental Mini-me

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Stungun shootout in Colorado leaves slowest man standing

Fuzzy

Drawin thwarted

This is a perfect example of why I am against the use of non-lethal weapons. Using these types of weapons just makes Darwins job that much harder of weeding out the idiots

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I want a baby, coos broody Paris Hilton

Fuzzy
Happy

THANK YOU EVERYONE

I haven't laughed so hard in a while it made my day

@Stone fox - you owe me a new keybaord after the coffee I sprayed over it

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NASA confirms manned mission to 10 Petaflops

Fuzzy

@ George Schultz

Yes and Bush is still trying to find the on/off switch

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Dope-crazed Canadians sledgehammer iPhone

Fuzzy
Happy

@ Chris W

There has a crime committed but it was not vandalism, it was crimes against nature (Shiver at those beards), Unfortunately Darwin is the only one that can enforce them. He is closing in on them though!

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Cops demand more time in marathon OiNK investigation

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

Alan is screwed

Unfortuantely Alan is screwed, Considering the cops on this have taken 6 months, it basically means they haven't found anything of substance. Consdiering the backlash that would result in releasing him without charge they are now digging and digging deep to find some offence to charge him with to justify the original arrest

This will be their last chance otherwise the court will force the prosecution to proceed with the brief or drop all charges. Unless of course there is an unscrupolous organisation behind the scene pushing their own agenda

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Top cop brands CCTV a 'fiasco'

Fuzzy
Black Helicopters

Of course it's a waste of money.

CCTV has been used in various parts of NSW for over 10 years. Ironically the evidence that CCTV does not work far outstrips the ability to use CCTV as evidence in a court of law.

Being on one of the first programs I was one of a group studying the effectiveness of CCTV. Does it work? Only in the extreme cases of stupidity where the offenders do not care that the cameras are there. CCTV simply pushes the locality of crime into the surrounds where CCTV is not available For all the money that is invested into these programs the returns are simply not there. Investing that money either in an increased police presence or community programs has a greater effect

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Amy Winehouse pitches for Bond theme

Fuzzy
Happy

Great thread

Definitely shaken, not stirred

Couldn't care less 'bout her music or her drug problems. Hell My all time favourite artist died asphxiating on his own vomit after a massive drinking session

Limiting your music selection based on the artists apparent clean lviing will, I think, limit you to a couple of christen bands and William Shatners spoken word album (shiver).

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Natasha Henstridge braces for Impact

Fuzzy
Stop

Sounds like another must not see film.

Ditch the storyline, dtich the CGI , Recycle the screenplay, ditch most of the actors and director and just show natasha in a full frontal nude shot,,it is about the only thing this whole project has going for it

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Brain-plug weapons could provide war crime immunity

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

The problem as I see it

is that there are too many lawyers in the world Personally the sooner we can ratify International law to enable the global culling of lawyers the better In fact substitute baby seals with law students, I'm sure greenpeace would be on board with that.

The sooner we can thin the multitudes of blood sucking ambulance chasing oxygen stealers the better off we will be

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Seagate ships 1 billionth drive

Fuzzy
Happy

The real question is....

How much of that is used to store smut, off colour jokes illegal Mp3 and movie files. A good percentage I'd wager ..

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Commodore goes titsup (again)

Fuzzy
Happy

Trip down memory lane

Man, this brings back memories. being an an amiga user since the first release of the 500. I stepped most of the models ending in the 3000/30. Man I wasted away most of my teenage years bashing away at the keyboard. I still think the Amiga had it right back in the 80's and in many aspects the computers are now just catching up

I still wonder what the computing world would be like today if Commodore had competent management and a different licencing structure or 3rd party developers

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Schoolboy's asteroid-strike sums are wrong

Fuzzy
Happy

Oops

My only hope is that the guy/girl that did the calucations for this near miss is not the same who did the calcs for the mars lander mission (Feet meters oops forgot about that).

Just in case lets put Bruce on stand by

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Australia giving snoop powers to employers

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

Pfffttttt

I am wndering what possesses the Pollie's that they think the laws they try to introduce will actually do any good in stopping the "bad" people or bad things from happening.

Gun buy-back scheme anyone. What a friggin' waste of money that was. Did the government at the time actually think those criminals with the guns would gasp with horror and tremble with fear until they handed over their ill-gotten firearms

Do they actually think that anyone would be planning any terrorist act through their work email. Come on. Anyone that would be stupid enough to be caught through these expanded laws certainly doesn't have the intelligence to be able to plan it in the first place.

</Rant>

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BOFH: Lift laughs

Fuzzy
Pirate

Another great episode

Simon does keep outdoing himself on these.

After the week I've had I entertained visions of myself dragging in a roll of carpet and bag of lime to deal with the users and Management, (Management ppffttt, they couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery) I thought about using the Pinch but, considering the state of "pissed off" I'm in I'd just rip the internals out and fill it with brick so i could just swing at the head of the next manager grinning stupidly at me

Hugh Laurie would definitely have to be the BOFH he plays the BDFH so well, too well in fact.

Skull 'cause that's what I'm going to crack of the next person that hands me a job that was due last week and only just remembered to hand it over to me

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US war robots in Iraq 'turned guns' on fleshy comrades

Fuzzy
Happy

@They probably just remotely switched the thing into French mode...

Thanks Anonymous Coward I am now waiting on a replacement keyboard spraying a mouthful of coke everywhere

"...and watched it rapidly retreat."

It later indulged itself in a glass of wine and slab of cheese

Those cheese eating surrender monkeys

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Shell waves goodbye to 3,000 IT staffers in $4bn outsourcing gig

Fuzzy
Happy

WOW another sucker

Considering the multitude of large out sourcing deals that have gone wrong, I am amazed that Shell has gone this way.

@Legless

You couldn't be more right. being in a similar situation it is almost a licence to print money. Sure you may feel a twinge of guilt about it all, but that passes in about a nanosecond

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BOFH: Impatience

Fuzzy
Boffin

Pfftt - E=mc^2

The best explosive force is not as many believe the reaction of matter and anti-matter it is that of a 7y.o. with a half a can of red bull and a fairy floss coursing through his veins

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Online banking payment system aims to reduce fraud

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

WTF????

These guys actually think anyone with a half a brain will take this solution seriously. it is a half baked, half-arsed solution obviously thought up by a bunch of f*8king half-wits. Using I.E. Active X for a new secure on line transaction system. Seriously ........

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IBM dreams of optical chips with tiny light pulse device

Fuzzy
IT Angle

New standard unit of measurement

"speed that shaving supply companies add superfluous blades to their razors"

So are we adding a new unit of measurement to the reg standards

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Boozed Belarusian dodges birthday train squish

Fuzzy
Happy

Alcohol the all powerful

HaiL Alcohol in all it's forms. In sufficient quantities it has the power to thwart both Murphy and Darwin's laws

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Lonely Paris Hilton seeks new best friend

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

Reality TV

Just when you thought it could get no worse. Along comes this.

Generations from now civilisation ( if there is one) will be pondering how we were able to survive these dark times. No not terrorism, nor the incompetence of our potilical leaders, or the greediness of the giant corporations spinning the world into economic decline. No they will be pondering how or why we apparently worshipped a person whose IQ is less then her shoe size

Sometimes I think we should just destroy civiisation as it is and let the ants have their try at glory.

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Vatican updates list of mortal sins

Fuzzy

HERETICS

I didn't think that anyone listened to the howling fanatics in the vatican or those of other religions anymore. I thought we had evloved to a higher state of awareness and received our moral instructions from the likes of B5 or star Trek or at the very least south park & the simpsons.

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IT industry needs more women

Fuzzy
IT Angle

Idiots

Why is it this keeps coming up. Any industry IT or otherwise does not need more women in it, it needs more qualified people, Period. A company I worked for tried to impose a greater ratio of women within the IT department. The HR department went so far a making this one one of his targets to get a bonus. In the need employing female who were less wuyalified than others interviewing for the same job. It does not work.

there have been arguments that women are intimidated to enter the male dominated industry and hence the drive to try to change this. Bullshit. I think the western world is enlightened enough to realise that gender, sexual orientation or disability are irrelvant to being qualfied to do the job and do it well. In the end that is all that matters.

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Armed robbers target Oz biker shindig

Fuzzy

Real Bikie Club

If a "real" bikie club had been there , like the hell's angels, Bandidos or such this would have never made the news. Well it might have but it would have been limited to how 2 unfortunates were set upon by an unknown gang and will be in hospital for the next 2 months recovering from their injuries and learning to walk again

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Lindsay Lohan sweeps Razzies

Fuzzy
Dead Vulture

There is no god

What in the world was Lohan snorting to think she could even come close to imitating the presence (big screen or otherwise) of Monroe

After having watched a snippet of the movie and getting my stomach under control after viewing the slideshow I know now there is no god. or at least he is not a merciful one. there is no way he could allow that madness to continue

To Linsday if you are reading this, or, because as i suspect, you are an illiterate hack, you are having this read to you, take this advice.... move into porn. At least you will not be overstretching your acting abilities and I daresay you would get a bigger audience than any of your hollywood movies

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Airline pilot sacked for 777 Top Gun stunt

Fuzzy
Unhappy

Not good enough

Too many serious responses and not enough top gun/tom cruise/scientology/nut job quips. Standards are certainly dropping at vulture central

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