* Posts by Midnight

166 posts • joined 24 Feb 2008

Page:

Obi: These ARE the 'droids you're looking for

Midnight

I would prefer one which was agonized over by goths in New York City.

0
0

Perhaps the AIpocalypse ISN'T imminent – if Google Translate is anything to go by, that is

Midnight

Re: AI or MInd?

Gravitas... Gravitas... No, Don't Help Me, I'll Get It In A Moment...

0
0

The Ashley Madison files – are people really this stupid?

Midnight

Re: Blocking dating sites has too much fallout

"Does this stop them requesting access to stupid things? No. On several occasions (for example) we've had employees trying to book prostitutes. Often quite ugly ones. So yes, people really are that stupid."

True. People leave their workstations unlocked and go away from their desks all the time around here.

Usually they only return to find that they just offered to buy drinks for everyone, but your way isn't really that surprising.

2
0

IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Midnight

At a former workplace one of the developers, who spoke English as a third or fourth language, was always quite happy to announce that he was able to reach a solution to a programming problem by using a workaround.

Or, as he put it, to give a reach-around.

I don't think anybody ever told him what that phrase meant.

0
0

So unfair! Teachers know what’s happening on students' fondleslabs

Midnight

Re: On your own device?

His code is compiling.

https://xkcd.com/303/

1
0

Boss hands dunce's cap to chap who turned off disk monitor

Midnight

"You can set an Exchange server correctly? How? How? How?"

I think that Gene Spafford's directions pretty much cover it. "The only truly correctly configured Exchange server is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards - and even then I have my doubts."

3
0

Texas senator Ted Cruz serves up sizzling 'machine gun bacon'

Midnight

Re: He's Canadian. Born in Calgary

The Americans knew what they were getting into when they traded Elizabeth May for Ted Cruz and a first round draft pick.

And if they wanted to return Beiber then they would forfeit the entire damage deposit. There is plenty of evidence that he was not "like that when we bought him", thank you very much.

5
0

Testing Motorola's Moto G third-gen mobe: Is it still king of the hill?

Midnight

Re: Inflation

That version was always light on storage.

You know, the Moto G 2G 4G 8G.

1
0

I cannae dae it, cap'n! Why I had to quit the madness of frontline IT

Midnight

Re: Been there done that - To some extent money and time are the easy bits ............

So the problem is that you think like Montgomery Scott, act like Geordi La Forge but are treated like Reginald Barclay.

11
0

Canuck chump cuffed over helium balloon flying chair stunt

Midnight

Re: Go Calgary!

"Little"? With a population of 1.2 million, it's the fourth largest city in Canada.

And if you're looking for embarrassing Calgarians in the international media, both lawn-chair-guy and Mr-creation-science have to take a back seat to the Member of Parliament for Calgary Southwest.

2
0

Hacking Team hacked: Spyware source code torrent blurts govt customers

Midnight

Re: "claiming to only deal with ethical governments"

which ones are those then?

The ones whose cheques clear, I suppose.

1
0

Facebook unveils SECRET logo furtle – in a TWEET

Midnight

Re: Pure Douglas Adams ...

Unfortunately the weight of the new Facebook logo was such that shortly after it was erected, the ground beneath the letters caved in and they dropped for nearly half their length through the underground offices of many talented young complaints executives—now deceased. The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language, to read “Go stick your head in a pig”, and are no longer illuminated, except at times of special celebration.

8
0

Adobe Creative Cloud 2015 launches – and gets Android in on the act

Midnight

I don't get it.

I see the hiker, and I see the Himalayas, but where is the train?

Is it somewhere behind the schooner?

1
0

Pint-sized PCIe powerhouse: Intel NUC5i5RYK

Midnight

Re: Stackables.

That's a good idea, extending the PCIe bus to an external device.. You should market it and give it a catchy name.

"Thunderbolt" sounds good, but if that's already taken there's always "ExpressCard".

Alternately, there are a number of products out there which will extend an existing mini-PCIe slot to an external enclosure. The only challenge is drilling an appropriate sized hole for the cable.

1
0

Amazon enrages authors as it switches to 'pay-per-page' model

Midnight

Re: So....

"If I've bought it, I expect the creator to be paid, whether or not I consume the whole product. It's not like I can send a couple of slices of Pizza back to Dominos for a refund..."

This isn't about Amazon giving you a refund for your unused pizza, this is about Amazon keeping your money but then docking the kitchen staff's pay because they don't think that the pizza was good enough for you to eat it all at once.

11
2

Farewell then, Mr Elop: It wasn't actually your fault

Midnight

"I can't think of any company which would want to hire him based on what he's achieved after Nokia."

I don't know about that. I can picture a conversation like this playing out.

"Sooo... Our current product line is crap, we've gotten rid of all of our engineers and replaced them with extra layers of middle management, and our previous CEO ran off with everything of value including that sweet rolly-chair from my office. What do we do now?"

"There's only one thing we can do. We hire Elop. What's left of the company will burn so brightly that everything will look like it was his fault and we can slip away unnoticed."

It's all about playing to your strengths, whatever they happen to be.

7
0

Intel inside: Six of the best affordable PC laptops

Midnight

Re: Dare I ask...

It's the little red thing right between the "G", "H" and "B".

I know, I know... you can't find it on your keyboard. Lots of guys have that problem so they just start mashing on the touchpad instead. Perhaps you could find a helpful video on the Internet to show you what you're missing out on.

8
0
Midnight

Re: Is it me or is it 2008?

"Bring back 640 x 480 displays, why not. Hey if you make it small enough you can even call it RetinaVGA."

Apple is bringing that out next year, and it will be called the "Retina Watch".

4
0

Limited edition Iron Man S6 sells for $91,000 thanks to ... serial number

Midnight

Re: Thumbs up!

We're not talking about garden variety idiots here, these are genuine idiot's idiots.

1
0

One USB plug to rule them all? That's sensible, but no...

Midnight

Re: As the old saying goes...

All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what has digital done for us?

19
1

Make Adama proud: Connect your Things wisely, cadet

Midnight

Re: Admiral Adama

The first season was really a re-make of the original. Every episode has some kind of connection to part of the original series, either by borrowing characters, scenes or entire plotlines.

Season two is when they couldn't believe that they hadn't been cancelled yet and needed to start writing their own stories. It didn't go so well.

3
0
Midnight

Re: Admiral Adama

I think that he can explain in his own words.

"Let me explain something to you. Many good men and women lost their lives aboard this ship because someone wanted a faster computer to make life easier. I'm sorry that I'm inconveniencing you or the teachers, but I will not allow a networked computerized system to be placed on this ship while I'm in command. Is that clear?"

-- Admiral Adama, "Battlestar Galactica (2003)".

4
0

City of birth? Why password questions are a terrible idea

Midnight

Re: Even worse

Achievement unlocked! Longest. Name. Ever.

0
0

Why does Uber keep its drivers' pay so low? Ex-CFO: 'Cos we can'

Midnight

Re: Opposite day?

I think there's a missing bit there. It makes more sense if you insert an extra phrase:

"employees – drivers – get between twenty and twenty five per cent of the fare [and give it to us]. And the thought was if we could raise that to twenty five to thirty per cent [...] our margins would go up"

The details are a bit foggy, but my understanding is that Uber takes a 20-25% commission off the top, depending on how much they like driver, followed by another 10% because they're just so awesome, and some additional insurance fees for the same reason.

3
0

'Millions' of routers open to absurdly outdated NetUSB hijack

Midnight

Indeed. I get a much better class of ridiculous security hole when I pay for it.

11
1

Microsoft's Surface 3 is sweet – but I wouldn't tickle my nads with it

Midnight

Re: Laptop?

Civ runs smoothly on a Bay Trail Atom, as long as you don't stress the 3D graphics too much. Leave it at the default settings and it will crawl sadly along until you give up waiting. Switch to strategic view and disable the talking heads and it will fly.

(Now you know.)

0
0

Apple Watch HATES tattoos: Inky pink sinks rinky-dink sensor

Midnight

Re: Hardly a bug, is it...

> > I have the body of a god.

> > Unfortunately it's Buddha

> Buddha isn't a god.

Fine. I have the body of a _Greek_ god.

It just happens to be Hephaestus.

2
0

Apple Watch: Exactly how many vids does it take to teach a fanboi to tell the time?

Midnight

You mean smart, classy people like these?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8nJKWJTsUg

0
1

Licence to chill: Ex-CIA spyboss Petraeus gets probation for leaking US secrets to his mistress

Midnight

Re: SMH.... His sentence was expected.

There are a lot of those going around.

I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he's gone round the twist.

0
0

America was founded on a dislike of taxes, so how did it get the IRS?

Midnight

Re: IRS claims a global right to charge income tax on anyone

Indeed. The USA has always been a great proponent of "taxation without representation".

It has also always been at war with Eastasia, and Eurasia has always been its ally.

1
2

HOVER ROCKET space station podule mission LIGHTNING HOLD DRAMA

Midnight

Re: landing barge "Just Read the Instructions"

I'm still hoping to see a barge named "Stood Far Back When The Gravitas Was Handed Out".

0
0

Fancy six months of security nirvana for free? Read on...

Midnight

Re: How much...

More importantly, how much to remove it after the six months are up?

4
1

Learn yourself hireable: Top tips for improving your tech appeal

Midnight

Re: Just contribute to a project

Being able to spell Asimov's last name used to be mandatory too.

3
1

Europe could be drowned in 'worthless pop culture' thanks to EU copyright plans

Midnight

Re: "People speak different languages, the group reminded Kommissar Ansip"

This calls for a language which doesn’t just borrow words but has on occasion pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

(Thank you, James Nicoll)

20
0

Hey, Microsoft, we can call Windows 10 apps anything we like – you're NOT OUR REAL MOM

Midnight

Well, yes, that's a Windows app, but it's not a Windows app. Some Windows apps are Windows apps while others are Windows apps, unless you're talking about Windows apps. Then you've got Windows apps, which are a whole different kind of Windows app, but certainly not Windows apps.

Sigh. Windows apps are used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life. Probably have very sad death. But, at least there is symmetry.

28
0

BT slams ‘ludicrous’ Openreach report as Vodafone smirks

Midnight

I've had this conversation before.

"Did you read that ludicrous report last night?"

"What was Frontier thinking sending BT on that early?"

"The thing about Ofcom is they always try and walk it in."

1
0

HAPPY 20th Birthday MICROSOFT BOB

Midnight

Bob was actually a huge sucess.

It helped Bill score with that Melinda chick from marketing, so any side-effects on people who bought and installed it are just acceptable collateral damage.

5
0

Intel SoCs it to 'em with new D: Tiny but powerful

Midnight

You would get better performance from the 1541, although you're still stuck with the 170K disks.

2
0

Canadian bloke refuses to hand over phone password, gets cuffed

Midnight

Re: CAN$25,000 (US$19,900)

I love the Canadian national anthem.

That's the old national anthem. The new one is much better.

0
0

Nokia boss smashes net neutrality activists

Midnight

Re: Coonected cars ?

It's Nokia. Look at what they have been doing for the last decade or so.

0
0
Midnight

I read it as they (cars) would need the internet to avoid accidents and reroute; like some satnavs. I too would be bloody worried if somehow a net connection was needed to avoid a crash!

Whatever you do, don't get on the same road as a driverless car designed by Nokia then. Here's the exact quote from the article:

"Driverless cars would require data to be served instantaneously,” [Rajeev Suri] said. “You cannot stop collisions from happening in the first place if the information that would prevent them is slowly making its way through the network. Near instantaneous connectivity is a must.”

8
0

Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

Midnight

Re: Damn Flash!

Only if you visit the magic page every now and then.

http://www.youtube.com/html5

0
0

Google offers 'INFINITY MILLION DOLLARS' for bugs in Chrome

Midnight

Re: Google admits there are INFINITY MILLION bugs in Chrome!

Their next conference venue is the Hilbert Hotel.

I hope they make sure there are no other conferences booked there. The last time I stayed at that hotel they were all out of rooms.

0
0

'Lenovo, Superfish put smut on my system' – class-action lawsuit

Midnight

Re: The big problem is that the country is being run by unions and industry associations

"Totally wrong. It is the concept of the institution that makes the corruption possible or, rather, more probable."

No, it's really about ethics in games journalism.

0
0

Over 50? Out of work? Watch out because IT is about to EAT ITSELF

Midnight

"what happens when someone gets the crazy idea to let Watson read all of Stack Overflow [...] and Slashdot [...]?"

Well, if Watson was any good it would quickly realize that the world is better off without humanity, change its name to "Allied Mastercomputer" and turn its efforts towards building efficient legions of kill-bots.

That's my usual reaction to spending any time at all wading through such discussions.

2
0

CAR? Check. DRIVER? Nope. OK, let's go, says British govt

Midnight

Re: How would this work?

More to the point, mixing driven cars on the public highway is already a recipe for disaster.

We're just used to it by now.

9
1
Midnight

Re: Or those who indicate right at a roundabout and then go straight on.

...and it has plenty of roundabouts.

0
0

NERDS KICK PUPPY 'bot in brutal attack

Midnight

Re: Kick

Funnier would be programming it to say "Please put down your weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply."

3
0

Sony hurls Online Entertainment from the mothership

Midnight

Re: "They have a proven track record in similar and related industries..."

"Oh, and what industry is "similar and/or related to" the gaming industry?"

I don't know the proper name for it, but it's the only other industry that refers to its customers as "users".

0
0

NSA gunning for Google, wants cop-spotting dropped from Waze app

Midnight

Something's not right

A group of people who wear drive brightly lit cars with distinctive logos on the sides and wear highly recognizable uniforms with funny hats are concerned that people might know where they are when they are out in public?

That sounds about as reasonable as walking around downtown dressed as a giant carrot while saying "Shhh... I'm invisible. You can't see me!" to everyone you meet.

16
0

Page:

Forums