79 posts • joined 24 Feb 2008
Re: Wow this new monitor is the coolest
She's trying to impress Moss and Roy by looking busy, but doesn't know that they just came into the office to plug in her computer.
Re: I wonder...
'the corporate slogan plastered on their cars; "with you, for you, always".'
Now do they mean that as a promise, as a threat or just as a warning?
Yes, they do.
Re: Sounds about right
You're supposed to use the "mindless fanboi" icon when posting that. Unless you were being sarcastic - there's an icon for that, too.
If the goal is to deter people from asking you for help with Windows, then it's the perfect answer.
"Well, yes I am a doctor but my specialty is in removing organs for transplants. I can tell you why you have that pain in your abdomen, but I would have to take out your liver and both kidneys to do it. Is that okay with you?"
"Does no-one at this benighted excuse for a digital newspaper understand the first thing about homeopathy and the Laws of Dilution?"
As I understand the process of dynamisation, all it would take is a little bit of shaking and the entire Pacific ocean would become a homeopathic nuclear reactor with a mass of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times that of the original Daiichi NPP and, as such, capable of producing about 29 billion times more power than we receive from the Sun.
I don't see a problem with that.
Re: Test? No problem
Yes, but how many of those atoms could dance on the head of that pin?
He's right about that.
"My card (with EMV chip) got skimmed while in the UK. Ton of fraudulent txns. Wouldn't have happened if merchant accepted PayPal"
Indeed. PayPal would have pocketed the money long before any lesser thieves could have gotten to it.
Re: "fruity firm"
That exclamation point is only tilted by eight degrees. You need to tilt it exactly nine degrees to add the correct bit of whimsy.
In other news
The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
[...] the word literally means “everyone” in Japanese, and “suggests multiple people doing things together”.
Why does everything on the Internet have to be about porn?
Re: Desmond Bagley "Running Blind"
That reminds me of a story involving time travel. The Clever Scientist figures out that as soon as time travel was invented, someone was bound to travel back in time to kill Hitler (Or some other Interesting Historical Figure). Once that happened someone else was guaranteed to travel back to stop him from doing that, and so on and so on. The only change to history which could not possibly be undone by another time traveller was to prevent time travel from being invented in the first place.
This explained precisely why his last two attempts to build a time machine had each met with mysterious setbacks and disasters, but it also provided a guaranteed technique for using time travel to win The War: Just allow The Enemy to steal all of your research, knowing that they will throw everything they had into trying to beat you in the "Time Machine Race" which they can't possibly finish, let alone win.
There was either a short story with that as the plot, or a future version of me travelled to the past and told it to me many years ago. I have never been able to figure out just which explanation of that story is true.
Re: Probability and Mathematics
Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
> > if it was a smartphone it would be considered a failure.
> Mainly because it doesn't have the hardware required to make calls.
You can also use a smartphone to make phone calls? That must be some hidden feature that nobody ever talks about.
Re: Well Done El Reg
" ...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything."
"But the plans were on display..."
"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."
"That's the display department."
"With a torch."
"Ah, well the lights had probably gone."
"So had the stairs."
"But look you found the notice didn't you?"
"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of The Leopard'."
NEED MUCH More Severe Penalties!!!
Go home, Boris. You're drunk again.
That was appropriate
Curiously enough, this article was accompanied by a banner ad informing me that asian women want to meet me.
Have the City of London Police been in touch with El Reg recently?
Perhaps you needed to give the guitarist a "Soar" knob.
I wouldn't know what the inside looked like. I can't open the fridge without a pentagram-shaped screwdriver, six plastic wedges of different designs, two litres of solvent and a hair dryer.
Better than the iPhone 5.
Okay, it was a _slightly_ higher power weapon, but the results are more dramatic that way.
One more thing
Don't set them on fire either. That rarely helps as much as you think it would.
"People called Romanes, they go, the house?"
Re: How does this help?
While I appreciate the complexity of that answer, it does not answer the question of how to change the screen resolution.
That procedure changes the resolution of the frame buffer used during startup, which is something which the average user has no use for. Once the system has booted and started up the graphical logon and desktop there is a slightly different process to be followed:
1) Open the system menu, then select "Preferences" and "Monitors". The exact location and appearance of this may vary depending on exactly what distribution, version and desktop you are running but for me that menu option has the helpful subheading "Change resolution and position of monitors" directly below the title.
2) Click on the "Resolution" pulldown and select one of the supported resolutions available.
3) Click on the "Apply" button. The resolution will change and a window will pop up asking if everything looks okay.
It really is that easy. If looking at the wrong answer can "frighten the shit out of Joe User", then how did they ever survive using Windows when confronted with directions like this for changing network settings?
(From http://support.microsoft.com/kb/929852, and yes this is the answer to the wrong question just like editing the grub configuration to change the frame-buffer settings is the wrong way to change screen resolution.)
Click Start, type regedit in the Start Search box, and then click regedit.exe in the Programs list.
In the User Account Control dialog box, click Continue.
In Registry Editor, locate and then click the following registry subkey:
Double-click DisabledComponents to change the DisabledComponents entry.
Note If the DisabledComponents entry is unavailable, you must create it. To do this, follow these steps:
In the Edit menu, point to New, and then click DWORD (32-bit) Value.
Type DisabledComponents, and then press ENTER.
Type any one of the following values in the Value data field to configure the IPv6 protocol to the desired state, and then click OK:
Type 0 to enable all IPv6 components. (Windows default setting)
Type 0xffffffff to disable all IPv6 components except the IPv6 loopback interface. This value also configures Windows to prefer using IPv4 over IPv6 by changing entries in the prefix policy table. For more information, see Source and Destination Address Selection.
Type 0x20 to prefer IPv4 over IPv6 by changing entries in the prefix policy table.
Type 0x10 to disable IPv6 on all nontunnel interfaces (both LAN and Point-to-Point Protocol [PPP] interfaces).
Type 0x01 to disable IPv6 on all tunnel interfaces. These include Intra-Site Automatic Tunnel Addressing Protocol (ISATAP), 6to4, and Teredo.
Type 0x11 to disable all IPv6 interfaces except for the IPv6 loopback interface.
To use the DisabledComponents registry value to check whether IPv6 was disabled, run the following command at a Windows command prompt:
reg query HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\Tcpip6\Parameters /v DisabledComponents
You may receive the following error message:
ERROR: The system was unable to find the specified registry key or value.
If you receive this error message, the DisabledComponents registry value is not set. If the DisabledComponents value is set, it overrides the settings in the connection properties.
Re: premium priced phones.
"We are out of inventory. Please check back soon."
Clearing out last year's inventory at fire-sale prices is nothing new either.
"I was thinking instead of having a actual docking station all you need is a wifi enabled monitor and keyboard"
And for that you would have to wait for 802.11ad to be available, as even a single-link DVI connector has three times the bandwidth of 802.11ac, the fastest wifi standard in use today.
You could try compressing the video stream before transmitting it, which is what Apple did with their ill-fated Lightning to HDMI adapter ( http://arstechnica.com/apple/2013/03/apples-lightning-to-hdmi-cant-actually-output-at-1080p/ ), but you might not be pleased by the picture quality and anyone trying to use the same wifi network for anything else, such as connecting to their own monitor and keyboard, may want to throw things at you.
On behalf of Canadians everywhere
We're very sorry about that.
I've seen this story before
Isn't this how Microsoft Bob got started?
Re: Huge flaw in article
"So, it seems that the Guardian has copies of some classified files. What's the required response from our department?"
(pulling a binder off a a shelf, blowing dust off of it) "Hmm... According to the regulations we need to ensure that the documents are destroyed along with any mimeographed copies of them, and at least two officers need to oversee the operation."
"Mimeo-what? How old is that book you're reading?"
"I can't make out the date but there's a reference to King Edward in the preamble. Anyway, rules are rules and if we don't march down there and start burning mimeographs it'll be our heads."
*sigh* "If you say so. Shall I head down to the stables and have them ready your coach?"
"If that's what the regulations say we have to do, then you'd damn well better."
But on the third, gripping, hand it could just be poor punctuation combined with a need to overly explain a reference which might be unfamiliar to at least 5% of the intended audience.
Re: this is not
By an incredible coincidence, Google is not very successful as a bank.
Re: Taxes aren't a solution, they're a way to compound a problem.
All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Re: Speech Recognition
"This is a voice-activated telephone. Please state which number you would like to call in a clear and calm manner."
Re: Did Simon forget
My personal favourite is finding the same tape you put in weeks ago still in the drive and a box full of unused blank tapes on the next shelf over, even though you know the full backup takes three tapes.
Apparently the helpful folks on the night shift didn't understand why the tape kept popping out of the drive and just pushed it back in every time. That caused some kind of meaningless warning to appear on the backup console, but there was no reason to read it as selecting "OK" made that go away as well.
Re: If the printer itself costs £125k......
Soylent Ink is people! It's PEOPLE!
Re: Anti-fraud measure?
I don't think that "abolished" means what you think it means. The word you are looking for is probably "pocketed".
Re: When "convenience" becomes less so...
Or use a Nokia. Their Nokia Maps^W^W Ovi Maps^W^W Here There Everywhere^W^W^W Pants Maps^W^W... Oh, whatever they call it this week, their maps application stores everything locally meaning that it's still useful even after you leave home. I have never understood the fetish for expensively downloading high resolution satellite maps just so you can figure out which exit to take from the highway.
Re: Since this is ask-a-stoopid-question-Friday
The pressure is still greatest at the core. That 's why the middle part of the sun is where all the burning happens.
That would explain why half a second after we turn the bloody thing on, it either shorts out, blows up, or has a sperm whale fall on top of it.
Re: Stupid question
Where the car analogy starts getting interesting is if you could reach under the blanket with a tin of blue paint and turn one of the cars blue without ever looking at it.
If the other car must be red because the one you just painted is blue then you've got a fun toy that you won't want to think too hard about.
I don't know... I don't think that this remake was a good idea when the original with Patrick Stewart and Sean Bean was just fine.
I think you meant "The internet as we know it was born on September 182, 1993, when AOL spewed all its users out of its walled garden onto Usenet".
Re: A cheaper option.
Or The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents.
Re: Simpler soloution
Mandrake. Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol?
Jinx? Why not Mesklin? That would be a little more interesting.
Re: what temperature do Kindles burn at?
Ray Bradbury once said that ebooks 'smell like burned fuel'.
Perhaps he already found out the answer to your question.
If it's illegal to insult a religion in Russia, then I would think the Church of Jobs may have a few things to say about this.
Re: Uzi Lover
"We anti-violent. Anyone says different, I'll bust a cap in their ass."
Re: Queue the freetards....
Maybe they were all lining up to have their say.
They're very polite that way.
Re: Shuttleworth thinks searches themselves aren't sensitive as long as they're anonymized?
"So lawyer stores some celebrity client's secret paternity test on his own PC which he installed and configured himself without even considering the security implications, engineer places schematics for some sooper-secret new stealth aircraft project on a computer which is connected to the Internet in any way [...] And some people are fine with this?"
Maybe I just spend too much time around paranoid people, but where I come from any of those would be grounds for a thorough beating with the Risk-management-bat followed by a long chat with the doors closed involving phrases like "summary termination", "what were you thinking" and "I'm just going to open this drawer..."
If you're handling those kinds of documents, you do so in a secure way on a secure machine. Sticking a pre-release version of _any_ operating system into the drive and then clicking "OK, OK, OK" has about as much to do with building a secure environment as throwing a pile of sticks into a creek has to do with building a bridge.
Re: "We think it would have been better if they had kept ours."
What was Apple supposed to do? Well, maybe they could have struck a deal with a major consumer GPS manufacturer like TomTom...
Nah. That would be too complicated.
It's an awful coincidence that this kind of completely random terrorist attack would just happen to occur in the office of someone who was being investigated by the FBI for soliciting illegal campaign donations. ( http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-07-19/news/32751285_1_grand-jury-yoshiyahu-yosef-pinto-law-enforcement )
Gosh, I sure hope that there wasn't any important evidence on that computer. ( www.nypost.com/p/news/local/staten_island/grimm_hq_tale_is_fishy_cops_fDiC0MeCOpjgpH9IGEZ9BM )
Re: Just out of interest.
When did this conversation turn to Google Plus?
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