Feeds

* Posts by alan

15 posts • joined 15 Feb 2008

Larry Ellison gets huge pay rise

alan
Coat

"Making ends meet"

I bet his ends are meeting like a mot******ker.

Worth 25Billion? Greed, pure and simple.

Mines the one with the £50 notes falling out the pockets..

0
0

iPhone passwords not worth the paper they're written on

alan

@Walking Turtle

Are you Steve Jobs?

0
0

Dud Nvidia GPUs tip up in Dell laptops

alan
Coat

BIOS "upgrade"

Either they'll run the fan at top speed as was mentioned earlier, or they'll fudge the clock speed of the GPU so it runs nice and slow. Upgrade indeed, lol.

Hope everyone gets sorted with warranty issues.

Mine's the one with the RMA sheet sticking out the pocket.

0
0

DARPA's Heliplane retrocopter project in trouble

alan
Coat

Thunderbirds are Go!

Forget all these new-fangled designs - simply get some jump-cables on Thunderbird 2 and you're sorted.

Mines the blue jacket with the gold sash....

0
0

Heathrow T5 security tackles Transformers t-shirt threat

alan

Perhaps he felt curious and...

..knew that there was something that more than meets the eye...?

Perhaps he knew the dangers that Optimus could transform into Gordon Brown and tell everyone on board that Fiscal Policies are on an upward trend and that the housing market would recover it's sustainable growth blah, blah, blah - a dangerous scenario indeed.

0
0

Vista on your iPhone - almost 'perfection'

alan
Linux

I like my device...

...just the way it is thanks without any bloatware on it. If only Vista-owners could say the same thing.

An XP theme would at least have been less embarrassing.

0
0

Plasma TV components applied to password cracking

alan
Paris Hilton

Breaking News - it is now possible

using old bits from a Dyson, to hack into NASA.

Paris, because the inside of her head must be like a vacuum.

0
0

Nintendo denies third-gen DS outing at E3

alan
Thumb Up

My C64 is better than your Spectrum...

Crying out loud, it's degenerated into another "mine is better than yours" thread - sad but inevitable.

Of course Nintendo are working on DSmk3. It's just a matter of when it's released and what it's spec is.

Perhaps we could have 4 screens (QS anyone?). That way we can use our hands and feet to play!

I can hear Mario now "Stomp Start to play!"

0
0

Area 51 drug test victim crashes flying car

alan
Coat

Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads...

Wondered when the boffins at Area 51 would come up with a working "Mr Fusion" unit.

Mines the yellow coat with the radiation shield....

0
0

Naomi Campbell banned from BA flights

alan
Coat

"Good" customer?

So the current definition of a "good customer" is to kick & scream at people and call them scum?

I await the next public letter mentioninjg Mr Ballmer as a "good customer" with anticipation...

- Mines the one with the Armani Collar and scuff marks...

0
0

Gates teases bankers with Windows 7 dates

alan
Thumb Down

That's another fine mess

you got us into Steve...

When the grand opening of Windows 7 finaly arrives, they should just have the Laurel & Hardy music playing in the background as the curtain rises over the shiny box for the first time.

It will sell better from the word go if it says "Windows 7 with SP1 built-in!"

0
0

Blu-ray drive in development for Xbox 360

alan
Gates Horns

"Ami bovvered Sir? - Do I look bovvered Sir?"

I too own both and much prefer the 360. Right nowe the PS3 is lacking in seriously good games. I got the GT5 'demo' because I wanted to see what a great game it was. Oh dear. It's like every other GT game before it with shinier graphics. Deformation is STILL missing. hye promise to get it sorted for when GT5:Proper is released. Yeah right.

If I was being brutally honest, the Wii has recently seen more action that either the 360 or PS3 in my house. It's a cracking bit of kit that is so easily accessible.

Crayons at the ready - pass me the book after you Monkey...

Devil Bill as MS get blamed for everything..right?

0
0

Microsoft rolls out Vista SP1

alan
Gates Horns

1 desktop and 2 laptops

in the house in the last 12 months. All have been 'upgraded' to XP Pro from Vista.

I like my OS to load before it's lunchtime thanks.

Evil Bill 'cause he musta been in a helluva mood the day he signed off this tat.

0
0

Dungeons and Dragons co-creator Gary Gygax dies

alan
Thumb Up

Go and sit in the other room...

What a great time I had in the mid 80's rolling those fantastic dice and sorting through the AD&D DM and Monsters guidebooks...

One time the thief decided very early on to split from the rest of the party to grab some treasure and got killed in the process.

Poor chap had to sit in the front room for about 3 hours solid until a wizard could be 'found' to bring him back from the dead. The party divvied up his newly-found treasure amongst themselves as payment. Lovely.

RIP Mr Gygax "...in the distance you see a tavern..."

0
0

Human rights group pleads for condemned Saudi 'witch'

alan
Gates Horns

Perhaps she has...

Jedi mind powers as well? Yahoo could make good her escape and utilise her powers against Ballmer "You will give us $80Billion...You will dance around on stage like a monkey. Again."

I'm being silly you say? The Saudi Judicial System started it....

0
0