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* Posts by drunk.smile

152 posts • joined 14 Feb 2008

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That's no – actually it is: DEATH STAR MOON 'could be full of life-friendly water'

drunk.smile

Is it an egg?

Yes, I know the new Dr Who is terrible, but at least it's relevant to current events.

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Chinese researchers develop fuzzy search algorithm for encrypted cloud data

drunk.smile

So this system searches for more words

And surprisingly returns more results.

Who'd'a'thunk it?

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Big Data's being held back by little talent, says Huawei head techie

drunk.smile

Re: What do you expect

Yep. I agree with you.

The Big Data snake oil that my firm is selling is based around the idea of collaboration & teams. The 'data scientist' is then reduced to a mathematics geek with a bit of R skills and the ability to explain whatever algorithm they've chosen.

The real work comes from the IT team of experts integrating things together, the Business Analysts interpreting the customer problems into something that the team can work on together.

(And yes, a team of IT experts is needed and not a single magic tech guru who can do everything as the ones that can do all of it are both far too expensive and have also reached the point in their careers where they only need to work a few hours a month.

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Chinese city creates footpath for smartphone addicts

drunk.smile

I don't really find them annoying personally

There are plenty more people 'walking' the streets without paying attention than those with smartphones.

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SAP chaps cook up Glass Glass style apps for ...WHERE are you off to with that FORKLIFT?

drunk.smile

Great, because what every SAP installation needs is a way to make warehouse data entry even more inaccurate.

I wonder how many accents they have tested it on, if it's anything like the workplaces I know then it will meet at least 20 incomprehensible accents per 300m2

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Need a green traffic light all the way home? Easy with insecure street signals, say researchers

drunk.smile

How long now some anarchic hacker takes a mini-drone

attaches a radio antenna, computer, mirror ball & sound system to it.

Then sets the drones on-board computer to hack into the nearest lights to flash them on and off in a disco style based on whatever tune is coming from the drones speakers.

This I can see someone attempting.

Very dangerous and irresponsible, lets hope for good sense.

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Tesla trademark spat threatens Musk's China dream

drunk.smile

Re: Typical China... stolen names and cheap knockoff's

Actually I fear it's more that the US will insist on running the organisation based on rules it decides will be what kills it stone dead.

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Russian law will force citizens' personal data to be stored locally

drunk.smile

Amazing.

Is there an alternative system in place for Russians to use if those two pull out?

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drunk.smile

So the data must be stored in Russia, but a copy can be held on elsewhere?

Or that the data must be stored in Russia, but can only be held in Russia?

If the latter it gets really complicated doesn't it?

What about airlines that don't operate in Russia? If I'm a Russian citizen and book a flight from Thailand to Malaysia as part of a round the world trip, is Thai airways breaking the law if they don't have a server storing my data in Russia?

It sounds like it's going to be another one of those laws that just gets ignored in practice until some official wants to line his pockets and can promise a foreign company to 'make the problem go away'.

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When PR backfires: Google 'forgets' BBC TV man's banker blog post

drunk.smile

I've googled every name in the article as

"<Name>" Merrill site:bbc.co.uk every single name comes up linking to the article. So I clearly need to be less specific with my searching.

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Creepy battery-operated TEDDY BEAR SEX TOY. Sadly, this is for real

drunk.smile

Is the voice of Seth MacFarlane an optional extra?

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IoT cup claims 'instant' identification of what's in it

drunk.smile

Must remember to hack these to reset counter every couple of drinks for Xmas party abuse.

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London commuter hell will soon include 'one card to rule them all'

drunk.smile

Can already do this where I am, Shanghai

Which might be where tfl got the idea from.

You can use your transport card for buses, taxis & the metro here, but most folk just use cash for the taxi or pay via smartphone apps or WeChat.

It's probably going to be no different in London.

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Huawei Ascend P7: We review the PANORAMIC SELFIE smartphone

drunk.smile

As a P6 user I can vouch for the heat,

it's particularly bad during video calls when I have actually had to put in into the freezer for a bit to keep it from shutting down.

The build quality isn't too great as, although smooth at first the plastic around the corners has chipped away after several months of heavy use.

What I'd like to know is if the volume buttons have moved further away from the power button? I've tried to take a photo a number of times and accidentally turned the screen off.

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MAC MEN: Apple hiring 1,000 people for internal ad operation

drunk.smile

Possibly not just their adverts? Apple could branch out into another revenue stream.

Maybe additionally if you want to advertise on an Apple device you'll also be offered services from Apple's own advertising & creative experts.

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FORGET OUR PAST, 12,000 Europeans implore Google

drunk.smile

Why would I not be surprised

If each of those completed forms end up stuck in limbo waiting on the data protection agency of each country to confirm that the links can be removed?

Get rid of the problem by passing it on to someone else, GOFH style.

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128-bit crypto scheme allegedly cracked in two hours

drunk.smile
Trollface

New Uncrackable Crypto

I propose a new method of encoding data for cryptography.

Step 1. The data to encode is allocated a sequential ID number.

Step 2. The ID number is multiplied by 5.

Step 3: The ID number is then converted into Chinese number format and a Salt is added.

Step 4: The SaltedID is then encrypted using the most secure algorithm available today.

Step 4: The original data string is then uploaded to the Amazon cloud along with the SaltedID number for reference. Only the SaltedID remains in the encoded dataset.

Step 5: For encoding and decoding the data first the SaltedID is decrypted, then re-encrypted and then used to find the original data stored in the cloud and download this to the user.

Fool.proof.

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List prices mean zilch. Remember that when buying from upstarts

drunk.smile

A few vendors lost my business directly because of this...

I would be brought into a project and through conversations with similar companies to us discover that the beancounters were paying vastly over the odds for the software. Worse still, because we were a big name brand it seemed that suppliers felt (and from the evidence justifiably so) that they could charge us a premium because we would just pay, no questions.

As I was involved in integrating the software with our other systems and so would call up the supplier for a meeting and ask them politely to change the price. Often it would come down, however other times they just refused to budge which told me all I needed to know about how that vendor felt about doing business with my firm. Generally these are also the firms who the users reported consistently poor customer service from.

In those cases I put together a business case to replace them with an internally developed solution or a different supplier who were willing to give us a fair market rate.

Moral: if any supplier clearly doesn't care about your business in terms other than the money they can get from you then you should seriously consider replacing them.

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Microsoft: We've got HUNDREDS of patents on Android tech

drunk.smile

Re: Why permit the secrecy

Not necessarily the commercial deals behind each patent licence, but certainly the details.

If, for example 85% of smartphones on the market infringe 200 Microsoft patents & require a licence is it not arguable that these licences should be frand?

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WhatsApp founder: Believe us, internet! 'Twas a DODGY network router WOT DONE IT

drunk.smile

It just couldn't handle the additional traffic

Downloading all that user data to Facebook servers before the customers deleted their accounts uses a lot of bandwidth.

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Fandroids get their very own PERVY SMUT browser

drunk.smile

How well does it work at getting round restrictions in say China or Iran on the interweb?

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Dropbox unblocked in China ... for now

drunk.smile

It's been unblocked for at least a year, maybe longer

I use it all the time to transfer files from the UK to China and back to my family. They understand it more than the mostly Chinese language alternatives.

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One good thing from the Flappy Birds crapp flap: It's a handy 'tech' media rating system

drunk.smile
Holmes

I'm looking forward to the next El Reg Flappy Birds article

Where it lists alternatives available on the app store, but not mention that you can still just get it if you want to.

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Russian gay dating app dev: We've been BLOCKED just DAYS before Winter Olympics

drunk.smile

How many likes does it have amongst popular Russia sites like VK?

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The TRUTH about LEAKY, STALKING, SPYING smartphone applications

drunk.smile

Re: "If you aren't paying, you aren't the customer. You are the product."

I'm going to teach my off spring this too. I can probably incorporate into the same chat about the birds and the bees.

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Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

drunk.smile

Just nobody

show my wife where she needs to strike.

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Google is developing flight 'price comparison thing' with us, claims Ryanair boss O'Leary

drunk.smile

I do hope they also combine it with Google maps

so I can see how far RyanAir airports are from their actual destination.

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Google tells EFF: Android 4.3's privacy tool was a MISTAKE, we've yanked it

drunk.smile

Re: I'll side with the Against but Sympathetic crowd

Actually it's on as default on my Huawei P6.

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How Google paved the way for NSA's intercepts - just as The Register predicted 9 YEARS AGO

drunk.smile
Coat

Schmidt is only upset because

the NSA are doing this through the backdoor. If they simply took adverts out targeting people with the keywords of "terrorism", "bomb" or "kill the republican leadership" then Google would actually do the work for them.

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

drunk.smile

Re: Worst infographic EVER

A note with the chart? It's enclosed within a whole freakin' article!

:)

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Can't hear the sirens? Knobble evildoers with your massive integer

drunk.smile

Is the bike database just an expansion of CheckMEND?

I've used it a few times, never did get my phone back.

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Samsung stakes claim to smartwatch market with Galaxy Gear

drunk.smile

A feature I would want in the watch if it is paired to a handset is...

A feature I would want in the watch if it is paired to a handset is that it is also connected to 'Find My Samsung' or whatever it's called. I'm one of those foolish people who will leave my phone in a taxi after a heavy night & would love to be able to simply look at my wrist on realizing & track it down.

With pairing of the phone & watch it would also allow really detailed proximity tracking once connection is re-established. I'd feel like a spy.

A vibrate when the pairing is lost would be useful too , it might to stop me from being such a forgetful idiot.

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China Labor Watch gumshoes uncover TOP SECRET PLASTIC IPHONE

drunk.smile
Trollface

Naff sounding plastic iPhone...

Are you sure they hadn't wandered into a section making Samsung equipment?

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Ferocious fungus imperils future of British gin and tonic

drunk.smile

Re: Ew, Gordon's?

Not even a mention yet of Sipsmith's.

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Using encryption? That means the US spooks have you on file

drunk.smile

Re: So.....

My reading of that case is:

If it's a VPN where they deem that it 'could' be that you are not in the US then, citizen or not, they may pop you into their database for 5 years until they can establish otherwise.

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Shy? Socially inadequate? Fiddling with your phone could help

drunk.smile

Any word on how the 2nd group performed against the first group?

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Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent

drunk.smile
Mushroom

Re: Pink wafer biscuits = Soylent Pink

I also did similar eating a whole 200g pack of custard creams in 20minutes as I figured it to be an efficient way to both carb & sugar up before going on a run.

20km later and no toilet within traveling distance... I realised how wrong I was.

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Microsoft conceals job ad in Bing homepage

drunk.smile

http://bit.ly/ZZayNx+

88 Clicks as of 9am this morning... most of whom probably come from readers of this article.

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Is it me or did cloud marketing suddenly get really weird?

drunk.smile

Re: This is why ..

Ignoring marketing is the worst you can do, that's when we really start to work:

[Obligatory xkcd] http://xkcd.com/125/

I've been referring to anything using a hosted database as the cloud for a while in board meetings now, management seem to approve as they plan buzzword bingo.

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Facebook Home gets SMACKDOWN from irate users

drunk.smile

First 5 star review I decided to look into

was by Florian Laplantif who turns out to be a software engineer from Facebook. I'm sure many of the 5 star reviews are from genuine independent users & I've just been unlucky, right?

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Chinese boffins predict iPad-sized supercomputers

drunk.smile
Happy

Re: Supercomputer Ipad

Minds

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Scottish SF master Iain M Banks reveals he has less than a year to live

drunk.smile
Pint

I met him at a book signing a few years ago.

Queued early to be at the front & had a small rucksack of his books with me.

The look on his face at first was "Oh no hear we go, another person just going to get a few signed copies & then sell them on ebay". The way his face lit up with joy when I instead pulled out battered, well read paperbacks instead of mint 1st editions.

I'm glad to be one of the many true fans of yours.

Thank you for your work, few people achieve greatness in their lifetimes you did, multiple times over.

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NORKS switch off 3G data for tourists

drunk.smile

Least I Could Do won't be happy.

http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20130327/

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Another MYSTERY evacuation: Google UK empties swanky offices

drunk.smile

Where can I make some of these signs?

I can have great fun leading disorientated oompahloompahs around London when there is next one of these.

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Ex-pats take note: China IT salaries set to jump 40 per cent

drunk.smile
Happy

Given that I plan on moving to China in the next 12 months

This is encouraging news for me. Sadly I don't have anywhere near fluent mandarin and am desperately trying to learn.

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Google offers $3.14159 MILLION in prizes for hacking Chrome OS

drunk.smile
Megaphone

Can they not just fix the memory leaks in the Chorme browser itself first?

Sorry, forgot they did an OS called Chrome when I clicked on the article & by then I was already in rant mode.

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This is out of hand now: Apple attempts to trademark the LEAF

drunk.smile
Joke

Prior Art, with rounded corners too!

http://bit.ly/Su9LAO

Expect they wrote the lawsuit papers before even filing the application.

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When GiffGaff falls over, is it even news any more?

drunk.smile
Trollface

Can you do the same for Apple patent stories?

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Free Android apps often secretly make calls, use the camera

drunk.smile

Re: I'm confused by this story...

Beer allows us to hide from many problems, but pretending to be a bird is not a side-effect.

For that I advise some rather festive Christmas Vine.

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drunk.smile
Pint

I'm confused by this story...

At first glance, it sounds as though it's just scaremongering by a PR firm more than anything.

"Juniper researchers also discovered that 12.5 per cent of free finance apps had the ability to initiate a phone call without going through the dialer interface. Two thirds (63.2 per cent) didn’t provide a description of this capability within the app. However, after installing a number of these applications, it became clear that this capability was legitimately used by the app to contact local financial institutions."

- Okay, right... so the apps that required the permission did actually use the function legitimately. What's wrong with that?

"Meanwhile, 5.53 per cent of free apps have permission to access the device camera"

-Okay, right.... going by the detail provided on finance apps, what % of free apps use a camera legitimately as part of their software?

Not going to take a second glance as it's nearly 4pm which is pub o'clock.

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