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* Posts by Harry the Bastard

59 posts • joined 11 Feb 2008

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Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS

Harry the Bastard

let me be the first to say that

i, for one, welcome our new ball riding overlords

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Harry the Bastard

beer under the streets, pipelaying vessel seen leaving hull

only possible conclusion: GCHQ is already working on lawful intercept

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

Harry the Bastard
Holmes

i bought a nice rimowa suitcase instead

that way even when it gets bent or dented, it'll probably still work, and i won't have to worry about updates bricking it or apple spluffing the contents all over the interwebs

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

Harry the Bastard

Re: Looks like many are missing the point

the london vs. edinburgh thing is a red herring, it borders on racism

there's no 'london' or 'westminster' government, it's the government of the uk, voted for by the people of the uk

the fact that one or more areas dislikes it is neither here nor there, it's the system

the correct approach is change the system, not break the uk

otherwise where does it end? i live in a london borough where council and mp are not what i vote for, can i secede?

because that's the core of the snp argument, even if the vote is 'yes', it's likely near half the voters will have said 'no', can they secede?

no way! the snp will never offer that to the people of scotland, they are no different from the system they claim to be so wrong that they want to leave it

salmond and co. are after one thing, power for themselves, they aren't good enough to cut it at uk level, so they dress up their lust as 'independence', the hypocrisy is sickening

same shit, different day

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Harry the Bastard

yep, by parentage i'm half scottish, but get no vote as i live in the evil empire

either way, it will be interesting to see what happens

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Harry the Bastard

until recently i was a firm 'no', splitting one small country into two smaller ones will help neither and it makes the awful prospect of an eu exit more likely

but since the spineless raving conliblab party started promising to take an even more disproportionate amount money from the rest of the uk and give it to salmond's whiners (promises that were in no manifesto at the last election and were never approved by parliament) i'm thinking 'yes'

it'll be a rough ride but at least the shafting of the rest of the uk's taxpayers will one day come to an end, plus it'll probably help increase employment in northern uk

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eBay DROPS DEAD AGAIN - tat bazaar says sorry, scrambles to resurrect site

Harry the Bastard

the fact is these people chose to use the service and chose to accept ebay's terms and conditions which give no promise of availability or reliability

ebay isn't a human right, it's a choice they made, if it goes titsup they have to accept it, otherwise they can get a shop and manage the issues themselves

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Harry the Bastard

"I think sellers need compensation, or at the very least auctions extended - we're losing money by ebay being down"

oh ffs, get a shop

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UK.gov sinks another £1.6m into Internet of Stuff spec HyperCat

Harry the Bastard

"publish the HyperCat specification as an independent and publicly available standard through the British Standards Institute"

does this imply the usual bsi paywall? that should encourage widespread adoption

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Dr Dre's crew gets Beats-down from Apple: 200 jobs to go – report

Harry the Bastard

"HR, finance will bear the brunt of cuts, it is rumoured"

good, parasitic scum of the corporate world, nuke 'em 'til they glow then shoot 'em in the dark

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Ever wanted to be a Playmonaut? El Reg's Vulture 2 spaceplane sim reveals what it's like

Harry the Bastard
Thumb Up

hurrah!

nice to see the cousins joining in

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USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

Harry the Bastard

Re: Containing little but bolts and glue

bolts and glue could be a test run to check if it's detected by security

prior to sending the deluded nutter through with the one containing bolts and explosive

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE DNS outage

Harry the Bastard

yep, vm status pages are useless, as is the telephone status

during a long (>48 hours outage) and after several calls over two days with the 'help' desk, who could only say there was no known issue or resolution time (and kept trying to get me to check my network settings, grrrr), i was finally passed to second level support, who instantly replied that "oh, it's a planned outage for network changes, service will resume at xx:yy" which it did

i) planned, so why didn't they email affected customers in advance?

ii) planned, so why didn't they put it on the status page, phone status etc.?

iii) planned, so why didn't they tell their own help desk people?

iv) planned, in what way?

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NASA flying saucer vids show fire in the sky

Harry the Bastard

no plucky playmonaut?

nasa has a lot to learn from el reg

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PICS ON GROUND: Cabbies PARALYZE London in Uber rebellion

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

yep, not endearing them to me either

technological threats to livelihood are nasty for those on the receiving end

but i don't recall taxi drivers protesting as others were put out of business or lost their jobs due either to offshoring or simple elimination

in fact quite the opposite, they seem happy to rake it in when there's a tube strike due to the de-staffing of stations

paris because french taxis are mad

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Tor Project claims 'fake' Tor Browser sat in iOS App Store for months

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

"Known...

...instances of malicious apps and unauthorized software being posted to the App Store are relatively rare"

ftfy

paris, just because

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Get out your Allen keys: Facebook's cooked up flat-pack bit barns

Harry the Bastard
Coat

ikea product line code contest

RÄKBIT

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I NEVER DONE BITCOIN, says bloke fingered by new Newsweek

Harry the Bastard
WTF?

because, like paris, people with $400 million are well known for living in suburbia with easy access to the press, kidnappers, nutters etc.

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Rackspace seals new UK data center in frosty air-cooled TOMB

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

"At certain times of the year when it gets warmer we spray additional water onto the face of the heating system."

as heatwaves never coincide with droughts, what could possibly go wrong?

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Gorilla Glass fights dirty, dirty germs with antimicrobial coating

Harry the Bastard
WTF?

corning claims "innovation", copying might be more accurate...

http://www.agc-glass.eu/AGC+Flat+Glass+Europe/English/Homepage/News/Press+room/Press-Detail-Page/page.aspx/979?pressitemid=1031

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The importance of complexity

Harry the Bastard

many years ago, for a project we were doing in a far flung place for her britannic majesty's government, one part required a lot of cabling

it was not easy to get cable from here to there, transport weight needed to be kept down

but we knew the cable routes, very many different paths and lengths, and we knew how much cable per reel

what was the minimum number of reels to do the job?

in a flash, i thought 'knapsack problem', a bit of cunning coding and hey presto, a cable laying schedule saying which run to do from which reel, the others at the site were most impressed by our efficiency

triples all round

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MS Word deserves DEATH says Brit SciFi author Charles Stross

Harry the Bastard

word? mention it not

things peaked with troff, a macro package for the job, and eqn, grap, tbl etc., plus you could embed command line stuff to dynamically suck in data to populate tables etc., since then everything has been downhill

for arty stuff, indesign is the bees knees, although bloat has set in there too

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Apple's new non-feline Mac operating system, OS X Mavericks, ready to go

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

run out of cats?

nonsense, there're...

tabby

brown tabby

marmalade

persian

tortoiseshell

moggy

bengal

burmese

manx

...that'll do for ten years, plenty more after that

'mavericks', ugh, bunch of californians with over inflated egos thinking the rest of the world will bask in their trite place names

i'm sticking with snow leopard, by far the best of all the os x releases, cute kittens too

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Austerity BITES: Greece ends extra hols for civil servants forced to use hated COMPUTERS

Harry the Bastard

that small slice is schadenfreude, not happiness

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Harry the Bastard
Pirate

surely a better resolution would've been to give the rest of us 6 days extra hols

this would've increased overall global happiness and slightly improved relative greek competitiveness, trebles all round

instead they've just deepened the hellenic zone of despondency thereby reducing overall global happiness

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Radioaficionados españoles: Echadnos una mano

Harry the Bastard

¿qué?

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German guardsmen growing mono-boobs from drilling with Nazi-era rifles

Harry the Bastard
Big Brother

this sounds wrong in so many ways

expect to be receiving the attention of david cameron's enforcers

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Quantum boffins and bread-heads form new VC fund

Harry the Bastard
Devil

the first fund where your investment is a superposition of states

you cannot know whether you made a profit or a loss until you look at your holding and the wave function collapses

although many of my investments seem to work out this way, collapsed, so perhaps it's nothing new after all

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Boffins fire up old dish to send interstellar SMS

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

let me be the first to text that

i, for one, welcome our new gliesian overlords

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Sacred islet Rockall repels Brit adventurer's first assault

Harry the Bastard

Re: I miss the Rockall Times

me too, the domain is being sadly abused these days

so i dredged it up on the iwbm...

http://web.archive.org/web/20041010040157/http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/rockall-ho/assault-plan.html

happy memories

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Did Kim Dotcom invent 2-factor authentication? Er, not exactly...

Harry the Bastard

utter tosh, i developed a 2fa replacement for /bin/login for our unix boxes in the early '90s, and it wasn't a new concept even then

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Reg boffins: Help us answer this Big Blue RAID data recovery poser

Harry the Bastard

big disks him go titsup

spin around mix it up

him get up walkaround disk again

bof

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Apple said to have let the name of the next OS X cat out of the bag

Harry the Bastard

snow leopard was the last cuddly release

i'm not upgrading until tabby and/or they drop the ios-ification of os x

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Snake-fondling blonde nude punts Polish coffins

Harry the Bastard

let me be the first to say, that, i, for one, welcome our ophidian draped overlady

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WAR HERO PIGEON carrying SECRET WWII CODE found in chimney

Harry the Bastard

it's with some glee that i find the reporter's name to be an anagram of riparian bell end

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MPs: Border Agency's own staff don't trust airport-scanner tech

Harry the Bastard

iris is lovely

it'll be a sad day when the last ones are taken out of action

simple, fast, reliable, i wear contact lenses or glasses, no issues, iris just works

the appalling lack of signage is the only complaint i have with iris, but from the article it sounds like that's deliberate

the long lines of people at the egates, and high failure rate (i stood in the queue with non-iris gf, wathcing the misery of the egate users), are worrying, seems like a step back in reliability

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UK Home Secretary approves TVShack's O'Dwyer extradition

Harry the Bastard
FAIL

i'm baffled by these cases

if the person was not physically present in usa territiory when the alleged offence was committed, then what fuck has it got to do with the usa? since when did johhny foreigner's laws apply to the uk?

if he committed a crime while in uk, under uk law, bang him up, otherwise, he's innocent

otherwise, i assume we're going to extradite all usa handgun owners and lock them up because they are committing a crime in uk law

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Two UK airports scrap IRIS eye-scanners

Harry the Bastard

only problems i had/have with iris are...

gates out of order/closed

non-existent/hidden signage to show where they are

people thinking iris was for e-passports and spending ages trying to get through before giving up

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JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

Harry the Bastard

well...

i, for one, welcome our new wobbly overlords

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Potent proton pulse to BOMBARD EARTH Tuesday morn

Harry the Bastard
FAIL

it's reg dot co dot U FUCKING K that's why it's G FUCKING M FUCKING T

egads, the horror, the horror

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UK student faces extradition to US after piracy case ruling

Harry the Bastard
Stop

ok, fair's fair

let's extradite all americans carrying unlicenced firearms, it's a crime in uk law, they must pay for it

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Solicitors from hell website unplugged by libel judge

Harry the Bastard

well, the only time i've used a solicitor it turned out he was incompetent, he didn't do what he claimed, i'm still stuck with the result

i never heard of the sfh site before, but now that the solicitors have been kind enough to generate the publicity it seemed well worth bookmarking a wayback gander for future reference...

http://web.archive.org/web/20110423174326/http://solicitorsfromhell.co.uk/

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Drug cops log Nigerian star's 24 bowel movements

Harry the Bastard

best. post. ever.

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Steve Jobs' last words: 'OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW.'

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

he was clearly stunned by the sight of the android fondleslab now used for self check-in at the pearly gates

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C and Unix pioneer Dennis Ritchie reported dead

Harry the Bastard

at my desk with tears in my eyes

this is sad news indeed,

c (and unix) genuinely changed my life, my k&r, now battered and old, was the spark that led to two decades of the most fun i've ever had working, plus i got paid for it

i'll be raising a glass to his memory

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US rocketeer thunders to 121,000ft

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

nice try

but no playmonaut, no prize

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Facebook Deals dumped

Harry the Bastard
Paris Hilton

surely that subhead should be

Back to Groupon, bitch

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British-born NASA astronaut Piers Sellers becomes OBE

Harry the Bastard
Black Helicopters

and yet nothing for the intrepid playmonaut

a baffling omission

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Yahoo! buzzing over 'nonce Pope's' Christmas message

Harry the Bastard

hence...

...papal noncio

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