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* Posts by IR

367 posts • joined 6 Feb 2008

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Our Vultures peck at new Doctor Who: Exterminate or, er ... carrion?

IR

Re: The Master

Sounds more like an excellent opportunity to see how the Master got into that state in the first place. Having Capaldi do it would actually be a bit more interesting than the usual cause-then-effect that they seem to do even with so much easy time travel.

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Honey, the satnav app says you're to leave at 6am... Yup. I'll have that coffee off you

IR

I have two routes I can take on my commute. One takes about 5 minutes less, unless there has been an accident, in which case it can take 20 minutes longer. Having this decide which is longer as I leave the door sounds a lot better than my current method of squinting at red and black lines on the traffic map and then guessing which is worse.

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How Google's Android Silver could become 'Wintel for phones'

IR

Built-in upgrade name. Like credit cards used to have. Next will be gold, then platinum, then diamond, then blue(?!), then something really weird.

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Actually, there is an Arapaho word for 'pliers'

IR

Chaka Demusen Pliers

The confusion arises due to Chaka Demus being a settlement in southern Arapahoe territory which made pliers with a squeaky grip, hence the term Chaka Demusen Pliers to describe this type. They are on record as making a horrendous noise.

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No sex please, we're Twit-ish. Vine bans non-educational nudity

IR

Queue lots of people trying to make their porn "educational".

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Digital GIANTS in BLOODY battle to put your EYEBALLS in a JAR

IR
WTF?

FAGAMe?

So with all those letters, including vowels, they come up with an acronym that sounds like gay paper folding.

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Are you experienced? The Doctor Who assistants that SUFFERED the most

IR

So giving birth to a timelord doesn't count as meeting one? Or does River not count because her timelordiness was cause by the TARDIS?

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Brit inventor Dyson challenges EU ruling on his hoover's energy efficiency ratings

IR

Re: "...help customers to consider environmental concerns..."

"The EU has effectively banned me from using solar heated water to wash my clothes and is instead forcing me to heat water using electricity."

Then plumb in your hot water and tell the machine to do a cold wash.

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Amazon Kindle Fire HDX: Bezos dives into tech-support MONEY PIT

IR

I'm waiting until they have the Ascension Sunday button.

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Penguins, I give you: The SOLAR-POWERED Ubuntu laptop

IR

All the way home.

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Apple drops hints about future low-cost iPhones

IR

Can't wait for the iPhone Shuffle. No screen, just a button that randomly dials someone in your address book.

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SAP in search of autistic software engineers who 'think different'

IR

Re: Patch

They've already hired some who do grammar different. Make it harder on the rest who knowledge right grammar.

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It's official! Register hack is an alcohol-flushed cave dweller

IR
Meh

Neanderthal DNA

Humans have only 1-4% of Neanderthal DNA? Don't we have 97% of a chimpanzee DNA? And 20% of a potato or something? These must be using different ways to calculate the percentage but it's not clear what.

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IR

If it helps, I am able to stop my restless legs by getting my feet very cold. Stick them on ice (or in my case the garage floor) for 5-10 minutes and it completely goes away.

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FAA: 'No, you CAN'T hijack a plane with an Android app'

IR

Re: I was thinking this was bogus

Aircraft GPS typically output in ARINC 429 words. A429 is unidirectional. Very little room for anything weird at all, at worst you'd invalidate the signal and the aircraft would ignore it, and that's assuming that your device is hooked up to the same transmitter as an aircraft system.

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We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

IR
Thumb Up

I help run a specialist forum. CAPTCHAs weren't stopping the spammer, neither were the questions such as "Which of these is not a colour? Blue, red, or car". As soon as we switched the questions to being basic things about the specialist subject, we got rid of 99% of potential spammers. You have to put a contact address in there too, because there is always the odd person who wants to join but knows little about the subject yet.

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Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

IR

Sounds like a slightly more advanced version of the Android app called Tasker.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

IR

Re: Why not?

Wurstiality nearly the same thing, except the pig has been processed.

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Trekkies detect Spock's Vulcan homeworld ORBITING PLUTO

IR

Balls!

Now we can't name an actual habitable planet as Vulcan! You've ruined it for the generation of interstellar tourists.

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Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

IR
Happy

Re: Never mind Lego

Yep, just about every police Lego set has a stripey robber in it.

Here's a good one:

http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Police-Prisoner-Transport-7286/dp/B004478GJM/ref=pd_sim_t_5

But even better is this one that shows kids the usage of a crowbar to get into an ATM:

http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Police-Minifigure-Collection-7279/dp/B004478GIS/ref=pd_sim_t_7

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Mozilla blocks auto-loading of plug-ins by Firefox

IR

Now if only they could stop the speed of my PC from turning to sludge when I watch a flash video on it. Started doing it a few weeks ago.

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Smarm-bot Siri seeks side-splitting script-writer for charm transplant

IR

Re: Tie the Personality to the Voice

"Siri, phone Gordon"

"Gordon's alive?!"

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Bloke blasts Sprint for fingering his home as phone thieves' den

IR

Mapquest did something similar to me back in the 90s. I put in a shop address, which turned out to be wrong (shop website was wrong). Since the address couldn't be found (I'm guessing, it didn't tell me so at the time), it gave me directions to the centre of zipcode, which happened to be a warehouse that got a few similar people like me in the past.

"Hi , I'm looking for this shop..."

"Used Mapquest? It's wrong. There's no shops anywhere near here."

I found the shop in a more traditional way - found a payphone, phoned them up, and got directions.

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Intel's set-top TV effort snags on cable

IR

The cable companies make it sound as if they want to keep the specialist channels part of a bundle so that you have access to them them. What they really want is for you to pay for the complete bundle that includes a particular channel, even if you don't watch the rest. The psychological aspect is that you are getting more for your money, even if you aren't going to use any of the extras. And because these silly mind tricks work on so many people, the rest of us are stuck with it.

My DVR keeps track of the channels I watch the most. Taking out local news channels, I watch six channels about 95% of the viewing time. The other 5% are from movies on random channels that I don't see otherwise. I expect that most people are roughly similar although with different channels. If I paid $10 per channel then I'd still save money, although even in that case I think I'd probably only go for 3-4 channels and use the saved money for Netflix for the programmes on the channels I drop.

We just need a few brave channels to start livestreaming, but I'm sure that the cable companies forbid them from doing so in their contract.

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Android Trojan taints US mobes, spews 500,000 texts A DAY

IR
Thumb Up

Gotta love those "trojans" I can avoid by

not clicking on a link in a dodgy message

not downloading an unknown app

not ignoring the strange permissions it requests

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Amazon Kindle Fire HD 7in Android tablet review

IR

It'll be beyond the return date by the time I get it.

I'm not too bothered, I'm sure it will be fine for 95% of what I want , but I was hoping an article on a decent tech site would tell me the best way to achieve things I hadn't even thought about.

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IR

Okay, so this is a review of all the things you can't do with a Kindle, now can we have one that tells you all the things you can do?

I've been lumbered with one for xmas (got an early heads-up) which I can't return (wanted the Nexus 7), so I was hoping this article would tell me the easiest options for sideloading and the risks of rooting since the rest of the web is pretty light on details (Looks like I am best off downloading an app onto my phone, then extracting the apk using airdroid, copying onto the Kindle and installing it using the file explorer - but that's just my best guess).

Even better, I could be the awesome uncle who turns up on xmas and makes my neice's sucky tablet into something much more capable, but it looks like I'll have to wait until I get my own hands on it

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App designed for safe sending of naughty selfies is rife with risks

IR

Want an endless supply of free porn? Make an app that encourages people to send naked photos of themselves to each other, and save all the sent photos.

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Verizon to close mobile app store, disappointing few

IR

That would be the store where they charged your data plan just for viewing the apps, even when on wifi. Was it ever going to succeed with such a stupid plan?

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Valve's Half-Life

IR

I remember thinking I'd completed the game, only to end up in the xen world.

Once I accidentally sent a security guard into a room full of soldiers. Somehow he killed every single one!

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STONEHENGE: Attack of the RAYGUN HISTORIANS

IR

Re: still seems funny to me

Presumably they already had smaller versions that they calibrated over the years and then built a big one that aligned with them. Not beyond reason that they also added up the days it took to do a full cycle and used that for every day planning. Some people seem to think that the huge Stonehenge was their only way of knowing the calendar, which would be absurdly awkward.

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Democratic congresswomen 'less feminine in appearance' than Republicans

IR

Nah

It's just that conservative women tend to fit into the stereotype that women must be caked in make-up and have big hair, whereas liberal women don't. You should also notice that half of the attacks on Democrat women by conservative talkshow hosts concentrate on their physical appearance rather than policies.

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Vote now for the ULTIMATE BACON SARNIE

IR
WTF?

What?!

A bacon sarnie can _only_ contain bread, bacon, and condiments.

Anything other than bread is an immediate disqualification and it becomes a roll, bap, etc. Toast gets in under a technicality, but is not in the spirit of things.

Adding X as a secondary ingredient would make it a "bacon and X sarnie". Not the same.

Condiments can be any sauces, and include butter or margarine, but they must not overwhelm the bacon in any way.

Under these perfectly normal restrictions, my favourite is white bread with butter and ketchup.

I was thinking this vote would be more about white vs granary vs brown, or brown vs ketchup, not just showing a large selection of breakfast rolls - many of which look tasty in their own right but really aren't bacon sarnies.

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Motorola Razr i hands-on review

IR
Thumb Up

All I can think after seeing that review is "You have a stuffed vulture wearing a bobble hat and scarf!"

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Old men who use computers less likely to get dementia

IR

And

In the case of my dad, old men who use computers are also more likely to forward you chain emails and post racist things on facebook.

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Ghostbusters

IR

Re: Toasted marshmellow

"(though for Spectrum gamers (and possibly others - I haven't checked), there was a glitch/easter egg which could save you some cash during the initial game: entering "0" as the car-type gave you a solid black rectangle which was cheaper than the rest of the options!)"

The problem with that was that you couldn't suck up any ghosts!

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Why the Apple-Samsung verdict is good for you, your kids and tech

IR
WTF?

Re: Bent but not broken

""But the armchair "patent system is broken beyond repair" position doesn't stand up. ""

Beyond repair? I don't think that a single comment on here has said that, and those out on the internet who have done so are minor in all ways. Broken, yes. Beyond repair, certainly not.

""You have to quantify the damage ("cost to society") and then demonstrate that this is greater than the innovation the IP system produces, and the value it unlocks. Will our kids be better off? How?

I am keen to hear alternatives that fulfill those criteria - but I'm sorry, but all I hear is whining.""

So in order to complain about something at all, you must produce a detailed description of the faults, how to change them and detailed analysis on how those changes will affect society hereafter? Such a shame you don't follow your own advice. You still seem hung up on current system vs no system at all.

So many people have effectively said "The US system is broken, the European system is better", which does pretty much everything you ask in a single comparison from its own evidence.

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Microsoft's new retro-flavoured logo channels Channel 4

IR

About time they flattened out their nonsensical flag logo, which evolved from a Dali-esque curved window. I'm surprised they didn't do it earlier, when they first unveiled the Metro interface on Windows phones, since it is pretty much the same as that.

Always amused me how so many logos demonstrate how people can't decide whether green or yellow is the third primary colour so they include both.

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Amount of CO2 being sucked away by Earth 'has doubled in 50 years'

IR

How did they measure it?

They don't know how or why this is happening, so how did they work out it was happening at all? Are they simply using the amount pumped into the atmosphere and then measuring the amount left in the air?

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US county named 'area of outstanding natural stupidity'

IR

Re: Florida?

Kitsap county used to be part of the same county as Seattle - until they tried to ban alcohol and were quickly separated off.

The number of "Proud to be a redneck" stickers on rusty trucks I see in Kitsap pretty much cements its status as an honorary member of the US southern states.

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Kepler space telescope peers at hot alien couple

IR

Obviously fake

The star isn't obscured by the clouds over Seattle.

Why is it so dark in the city there? Do blue ones put out that much less visible light?

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Megan Fox fingers fondleslab in sexy store promo

IR

Sharper Image is more of a gadget store, they don't sell resistors and parts like Maplins, just weirdly expensive cameras and beeping keychains.

I thought they had gone out of business, all the shops near me closed down a few years ago. Glad they are still around since I got to see that pic.

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Gaia scientist Lovelock: 'I was WRONG and alarmist on climate'

IR

I didn't think that any scientist subscribed to his Gaia theory anyway.

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China's bullet trains to get face-invading cameras

IR

What?

Why are there no "they all look the same" racist jokes? Or were they the ones that got deleted?

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Mobee Magic Numpad

IR

And they don't even bother to give you a page of blank "keys" that you can customise?

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'As seen on TV' claims can't be made about unbranded props

IR

Shops

In the US there are "As seen on tv" shops that sell all the tat that is advertised on tv that you can otherwise only buy mail-order with absurdly inefficient shipping and handling departments (does it really cost them $8 each time to put it in a cardboard box and write an address on it?)

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US ecosystems basically unaffected by global warming, studies show

IR

I'm not so sure that you can judge a whole ecosystem just by measuring water run off.

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EXTREME weather blown away from unexpected direction

IR

"Kudos to the IPCC - they have gotten the issue just about right, where 'right' means that the report accurately reflects the academic literature on this topic."

I was expecting him to say

"where 'right' means that the report agrees with my opinion on this topic."

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Angry Birds Space flings 10 MILLION downloads in 3 days

IR

Interesting

I like the use of Lagrange points, but the way that gravity suddenly stops working at a certain distance is a bit too unscientific. I wonder if I can get a bird into a sustainable orbit...

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Take your hands off me - I'm a tech VC superstar!

IR

?

What did I just read?

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